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Massawyrm has Seen TRANSFORMERS!!
Hola all. Massawyrm here.
Spectacle. The word you'll be looking for is spectacle. Love it or hate it, this movie is pure, unabashed extravaganza, a jaw dropping assimilation of practical special effects, CG and traditional filmmaking blended together in such a way that it will completely redraw the lines of what we believe can be achieved on the screen. Like Star Wars, Jurassic Park, Independence Day and The Matrix before it, this movie will change forever what we think can and cannot be done within the medium. And on the whole it is going to go down in history as one of those movies. It is going to make insane money, sell an unbelievable amount of DVD's and be loved by the masses.
But us geeks, we're gonna be arguing about this one until judgment day.
Just as there is plenty right about this film, there is plenty wrong as well. And the line of demarcation is really going to come down to how you walk into this. If you can't fully wrap your mind around and really commit yourself to the idea that you're about to watch a film in which robots from another planet come to Earth and then transform into cool looking cars, jets and helicopters before transforming back in order to pummel the living shit out of one another, then odds are you're gonna have issues with what you might refer to as "The Plot." Personally, I refer to it as the thin and almost unimportant reason to explain exactly why robots from another planet come to Earth and then transform into cool looking cars, jets and helicopters before transforming back in order to pummel the living shit out of one another.
Fans of the original television series will recall there were essentially two possible plots to any Transformers episode. Plot one involved the Decepticons discovering a new way to make Energon Cubes, forcing the Autobots to have to stop them. And plot two involved the Autobots finding a new way to generate Energon Cubes, causing the Decepticons to try and stop them, forcing the Autobots to have to stop them from stopping them. Each episode ended with a melee which involved the same recycled shots of Transformers seemingly floating in midair while their blasters fired repeatedly. The Decepticons would run off with their tails between their legs – and if for some reason the Autobots were having a hard time stopping them, they would turn to their new recruit, a Transformer we'd never seen or heard from before but was, fortunately for us, available in stores that very week, who would aid in chasing the Decepticons off with their tails between their legs. In a word, it was FUCKING AWESOME!
Well, the plot to Transformers is a hell of a lot like the cartoon. Except without the Energon Cubes. It is THIN. It is far from complex. And it serves only to get us from action scene to action scene. And if you actually think for one second that going into a Michael Bay movie about giant fucking robots is going to have anything different – if you are somehow holding onto the delusion that there will be any kind of complexity in this – then you are about to find yourself sorely disappointed.
It is everything you ever dreamed a Michael Bay Transformers film could be. It is loud. It is visually arresting. And it doesn't slow down for one god damned minute. The action scenes are so rapid fire and intense that if you blink, you'll miss something incredible. Cars chase one another at 100 MPH, transform in mid-air, throw a few punches, then transform back and hit the ground running without missing a beat. Blasters lay waste to an entire regiment of soldiers with a single burst. Entire city blocks get destroyed as giant fucking robots literally tear each other apart, piece by fucking piece. You have never, ever, ever-ever, seen anything like it whatsoever.
And I tell you now, whether you like it or not, your jaw will drop – at least a few times.
It was awesome. It was like a big honking slice of Awesome-toast buttered on both sides with awesome. It was a double serving of Hell Fucking Yeah with a side order of OMFG. If you are pumped for this, if you are ready to embrace this, if you want nothing more than to see mind blowing action unlike anything you have ever witnessed, then you will shit your shorts and giggle like a fucking school girl.
The audience went absolutely apeshit for this. There were ooohs. There were ahhhs. Hell, at one point at least a dozen people loudly proclaimed in stereo "Here come the Autobots!" And this wasn't a 100% geek Drafthouse crowd. This was a standard multiplex crowd. You haven't had a crowd experience like this in a loooooong time.
So did anything else work other than the action? Sure. Of course how could I get away without talking about one of the most heartbreaking, hot pieces of ass to grace the screen in years? An ass so perfect and taut that when it bends over, I swear to god it makes a fucking heart shape. I am, of course, talking about Shia LaBeouf. Shia performs like a fucking champ. Even my buddies who didn't like this had to give it up to him. He carries the entire movie on his shoulders when shit isn't busy blowing up and he sells every god damned minute of it. Hell, this guy is acting opposite cars & robots and through his reactions alone are convincing us that they're real.
And when I talk about robots I mean of course John Turturro. I never thought I'd be writing these words, but when you're in a film with Anthony Anderson and he's acting circles around you, something has gone horribly wrong. Somewhere along the line someone convinced Turturro that he was in a children's movie and he interpreted that as if he were in an episode of Pee Wee's Playhouse - while everyone else was busy playing it straight. Even Anthony Anderson's shrieking and hollering was a wonderful respite from every painful John Turturro scene.
And there's a couple of sequences which might become legendary in arguments about this one, including an embarrassingly awkward Transformer relieving itself moment. It's also hard to be 100% serious about this when it has the single most blatant series of product placements since I am Sam. Cars, soft drinks, laptops and cellphones all readily find themselves at the center of both discussions and set pieces. But fortunately what doesn't work in this is far overshadowed by the moments that do. In a big way.
What it all boils down to is this: When someone tries to point out a logic flaw or the inherent silliness of a certain reaction, situation or product placement, you gotta ask yourself one question. Was that before or after the giant fucking robots from another planet showed up to kick the shit out of each other? Because if you can somehow manage your way past that conceit, and not any of the others, you've kind of missed the point.
This isn't a revelation. It isn't anywhere near a perfect film. But god damnit I had the best time watching it. It's an experience, and one you will not soon forget. I've got tickets to see this again tonight and I cannot wait. This movie is the reason they invented 30 foot wide screens to begin with. If you even think for a moment of catching this on DVD, you've entirely missed the point of it.
Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.
Massawyrm
Got something for the Wyrm? Mail it here.
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That's the true measure of awesomeness.
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there will be haters but i don't understand how they can walk into this movie expecting shakespeare -- it's giant fucking robots beating the snot out of each other. it was awesome on every level. i'd give it an 8 out of 10 but megan fox adds an extra point.
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... INDEPENDENCE DAY didn't change the medium. I'll grant you the others on that list as movies that changed the paradigm, but ID4 was a marketing phenomenon, not a movie. Great trailer. Shit film.
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Ive seen this 3 times and I dont think Ive got my fix out of me yet. I usually hate when people refer to movies as a ride but thats actually what this one felt like. It was the greatest geek ilm ive ever seen. Flawless special effects and action. at times I couldnt beleive what I was actually seeing. To actually see live action giant transformers fighting it out in a city is the best movie escapism I think ive ever had.
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Can't wait... *drools*
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... well, I think there are 8 Decepticons vs 5 Autobots and even though the Decepticons were mostly war machines and the Autobots sportscars ...
well my biggest problem was
(Minor Spoiler)
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and yet the Decepticons suffer something like 7 fatalities to the Autobots 1.
I would have liked to have seen the end result was a *bit* closer.
Oh yes, you can also have a movie with big robots smashing each other up but also a *better* script!
Agreed Turturro - very far from his best acting
Also, the whole scene about looking for the glasses - went on far too long and wasn't very funny ....
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Either buy a bootleg DVD, or buy a ticket to another movie playing at the same time and then go into the theatre playing TRANSFORMERS. i'm serious, it can have all the ass kicking action it wants, but i am never giving michael bay another dime no matter what he does.
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Then you'll love his get-up in Indy 4!
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ID4 was an excellent film.
That's my childhood your kicking man. Back off :) -
he sold his soul to hollywood at birth, they own him. no dicksucking necessary.
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Massawyrm liked it, and he doesnt like anything! I'm seeing it.
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Not just Harry but the rest of you shills too.
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Sounds exactly like what I was expecting. I couldn't care if Optimus Prime has pink flowers painted on his body - as long as he's a giant robot that beats the shit out of other giant robots I'll be there!
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If we get just one summer film as good as this each year Id be happy. Seriously theres about 10 tentpole pictures a year and theyre generally disappointing. You end up trying to convince yourself that your liking what your seeing. This film was truely awe inspiring but most of all fun. Going to a big summer movie should be fun and this feels like the first summer movie in a long while to remind you why you look forward to these blockbusters year after year. This movie fucken rocks. And I wasnt even a big fan of the cartoon.
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... OK, I imagine everyone knows this so I don't think I'm spoiling anything ... 1, 2, 3 ...
As we know Megatron was found frozen in the ice in 1913. Why would anyone back then think he needed to be kept frozen? All anybody would have thought is that they'd found was a big metal statue. I can't remember any archeologists ever finding big metal statues and thinking they could be alive and needing to freeze it. I can't see how anyone would have thought it was a) alive and b) needed to be frozen.
The scientists from "The Thing" didn't think about it when they dug The Thing up and they were from the 1980's.
So once they dug him up and he warmed sufficiently he would have activated and started killing people and found the Allspark some 94 years before the Autobots got there, ruling the Earth and turning it into a giant technofortness, ALL HAIL MEGATRON etc.
That, plus I doubt we had the means to keep a giant metal robot frozen at sufficiently low temperature to keep it inactive and then being able to transport it halfway across the Earth anyway in 1913.
And once again, why would anyone think of freezing it? -
another planet showed up to kick the shit out of each other? I take issue with this statement. A film can have an absurd, or even silly, premise and still remain logically consistent within the world it created.
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When this happened...
*SPOILER*
... Starscream breaking orbit and flying into space at the end ...
*/SPOILER*
... my friend complained that *that* was unrealistic. I think he must have dozed off when the GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS FROM ANOTHER PLANET were on the screen. -
"It was awesome. It was like a big honking slice of Awesome-toast buttered on both sides with awesome. It was a double serving of Hell Fucking Yeah with a side order of OMFG." BEST QUOTE EVER.
But seriously, I'm surprised that there are people who expect more from this movie than Big Robots having at each other and Transforming. Much as I find it lamentable the amount of people who wittered on about the lack of decent plot in Godzilla. I mean its a film about a massive fucking Lizard, what were you expecting? I don't care myself for complete fidelity to the original source (which is maybe why I didn't hate Godzilla) and it is fair to expect a non-stupid film. But when adapting a kids cartoon, theres a line of that it can happily fall behind in my opinion. I'm adult enough to know that some things are still aimed at kids. -
... presumably Megatron was so damn large and heavy that he was left exactly where he was found for a very long time.
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MCMLXVXI, or whatever his name way? You guys didn't ban him, did you Mori? And Shan, see Discosis's statement on the PLOT HOLES! It's a kids' cartoon robot movie! I don't think the makers of the film were worried about academy voters following the plot!
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This movie was released in Holland before the US God knows why. It's awesome. Bless you Michael Bay.
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Suck on that MMXVII
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A lot of people have been mentioning Independence Day, which made me think of that film Independence Day. I thought it was fantastic the first time I saw it, but when I watched it again I was scratching my head and trying to figure out what sort of hypno ray had been used to make me think it was ever good in the first place. A strange experience.Anyway, I was wondering whether this film about stuff that turns into robots held up to a second viewing. Anyone?
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You know why that is so AWESOME? Because it is so frikkin' rare in the movies when two superpowered somebodies go at it - really! Think about it, besides the Matrix trilogy, the X-Men movies and Superman II, when have we EVER had an exciting movie with two or more people (or robots) beat the crap out of each other and have it look like something more than a barroom brawl. Most of the time we get "Superman Lifts Shit", "Batman Begins without a Fight Coordinator" and the like. And I don't count either Fantastic Four crapfest or the Hulk, because for a super fight to carry at least a LITTLE weight the rest of the movie should at least not make you want to die from its crappiness. Michael Bay does do crappy, I'm the first to admit - but he knows his strengths, so he keeps the stuff that he's good at moving NONSTOP. As much as I hate to admit it, I would love to have Bay do a true superhero flick - remember when his name was thrown around for Supes? Looking back we all bitched about that, me too - but think of what we would have gotten from that movie? A truly ass-kicking Superman - beating the shit out of any number of super-villains. I think I've had my fill of introspective superhero movies - I'm at a point where I just want the ass-kicking; let's see if Bay wants to do Justice League...
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I think they moved Megatron to the Hoover Dam location and built the Dam on top of him if I remember the film even half correctly, so he would have been out of the ice for some several decades.
I guess even if they thought Megatron was alive (still can't see how), knowing people in general, you'd bet someone would defrost him just to see what happened next anyway.
I haven't spent too much time thinking about it, I practically forgot I'd seen the film after seeing it. Not that it's bad but it could have been so much better with a better, tighter (shorter) script. -
Everyone will love it now but come 1 year from now everyone will be ripping it to pieces and saying how awful it is. Trust me.
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Would one of you reviewers please let us know how Optimus Prime come out of this? No one has talked about Prime at all! Was he all he should be? Was he Abe Lincoln/John Wayne/Gregory Peck as a Robot?
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Just because it fooled you into thinking it wasn't because you couldn't hear after you got out of the theater doesn't mean a goddamn thing. If that was anyone's childhood, then that's just fucking sad.
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I'm seeing this at midnight tonight!:: transforming sound ::
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Sorry, I didn't see your post there.
Why can't we have a film which is a big budget film but also with a good script? Yes, no-one's expecting the greatest story ever told but a movie can follow it's own internal rules (yes big giant robots but also in our own real world serious universe with the US Army etc).
As it was, a lot of people were saying before the movie came out that the script was lacking in a lot of areas and they weren't wrong, ie most modern technology came from reverse engineering Megatron - what? (for starters). -
big time.
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Massawyrm, your review just got me excited and giddy over this. I am going to the theatre as soon as I get off work tomorrow, it's settled.
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He basically said, "it sucks but it's AWESOME!!!" The world of cinema has been turned on its head.
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than the other films cited. I mean I get the whole point about pushing special effects and visual spectacle...but the Matrix had a lot more going for it with its meta-physical views and borrowing from all sorts of philosophies and the writings of Mac Cluhan etc...Transformers as I recall was a toyline...and ID4 was great at the time, its just too pro-American,...which as an Irish man I will shoot a film down for straight away, just as I did with Forrest Gump...but I let ID4 get away for the combo of Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum...and people hate Shia due to Even Stevens...fact.
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Independence Day was great at the time. I fuckin loved it. Not so good now, but still a good film.
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...can't act circles around anyone, then obviously you didn't watch Season 5 of The Shield. Anderson was a fucking powerhouse in those episodes, and it's nothing less than bullshit that he didn't get an Emmy nod.
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That's pretty much what I'm expecting quality wise. But hey, a fun summer movie sounds good right now.
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Just because he's crying into his Count Chocula because Optimus doesn't look like a bunch of stacked-up dishwashers anymore doesn't mean a goddamned thing.
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Aw..hell no! I'm glad some folks can see the movie for what it is and be happy with it. Agree with Mrmgp on Anthony Anderson. When he was in a scene on The Shield you knew who was in charge. That guy creeped me the hell out when he was taunting Mackey while in jail.
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Damn you Michael Bay
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Notice how we're not hearing a word about the "story?" Amazing how these Bay-devotees always seem to leave that out. Listen Massawyrn, if the story sucks the movie sucks -period. STFU! It sucks, deal with it. Star Wars, The Matrix and Jurassic Park were actually good movies. You've already said this one isn't. Stellar SFX with no story equals Armegeddon, not Star Wars. Put dow the Bay swag you were given long enough to understand that. You PLANT!
BTW, I went to my local Target and the Transformers toys AIN'T MOVING! Guess Bay won't be able to pimp himself as some meerchandising guru for Paramount. Pity. -
Damn you to hell!
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What, other than 1998's GODZILLA, haven't they give 3 stars too? They are more loose giving them things away than Lindsey Lohan is with her hand jobs.
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No matter what problems you may have with the movie (and I got a ton), the fact is: the audience cheered their fucking head off after the end of July 2nd (when it goes black and says July 3rd). I don't think I've ever seen a movie where the entire audience exploded with cheers in the middle (SW re-release was cheered before the movie started).
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You know this to be true, don't even try to argue, man monkies!
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...it was a bit of a shift, an upgrade in technology. The record for the largest number of individual units on screen in an air combat had been held by RETURN OF THE JEDI for 13 years until INDEPENDENCE DAY smashed it with CGI. I miss models.
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Suck it down all you bitchass whiners and complainers. Suck it down and swallow. Can't wait to see this...tomorrow. :(
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I'm curious. So far, no one's mentioned the music. I expect some blaring Bay music, but is the old TF theme crammed in there somehow? I dunno why someone would waste their time composing a whole new theme, when they can just do variations and cover versions of the original. No singing needed, but a few of the musical queues should be (should have been?) used.
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when I was a kid (mid 80s) i owned a VHS copy of a transformers movie (i thought until recently it was transformers the movie, but it wasn't) which chronicled the autobots fleeing cybertron on the ark, and the decepticons following, and everyone crashlanding on earth four million years ago - basically the TFs on earth origin story. I can also vaguely remember the autobot jeep falling into a canyon, optimus and megatron fighting on a huge dam, the decepticons attacking an air force base where the autobots where disguised as the personell, and the climax being the decepticons building a spaceship to flee and optimus flying up towards it but getting wounded and crashlanding back on earth. the VHS-tape is of course long gone now, and that's pretty much all i can recall, except for it kicking ass. anyone know what this is? a feature length pilot? or maybe several episodes edited together? or is it more of a sequel or something to the original movie? anyone know where I could get a hold of it? thanks.
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the music is mostly pretty good, kinda rousing gladiator-ish, but some offputting electric guitars occasionally. pretty much excactly what you'd expect. can't recall hearing the theme anywhere though.
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good directors, and the same goes for special effects guys...ID4 it was not the Godfather of scifi/action movies as the trailers promised, because the acting sucked, plain and simple - THAT being said, they still delivered some great special effects, AND did not use CGI as much as some people are claiming - lots of models were used in that movie, and there is some real ingenuity in creating the wall of fire that came from the alien death ray.
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"No matter what problems you may have with the movie (and I got a ton), the fact is: the audience cheered their fucking head off after the end of July 2nd (when it goes black and says July 3rd)."
Can you imagine the brain-dead morons who might cheer for ANY of the shit in this GayBay fest? These assholes who live in their mother's basement and drool on themselves while masturbating to still pictures from Pearl Harbor and The Island. You folks pimping Bay's shit are the reason why movies suck. You pride yourselves on not expecting anything out of a movie, then you worthless fucks have the nerve to turn around bitch that there's nothing worth watching at the multiplex. You are the walking defintion of retarded. So Bay's Trasformers' is the flick for you. -
I thought ID changed the medium. I saw it at the Cinerama in Seattle, and I was hypnotized by the massive amounts of stuff blowing up. For some reason that movie made me redefine how stuff could blow up real good. When my 9 year-old son watched it for the first time, his reaction was "That stuff blowing up was COOL!" Was the plot thin? Yeah. Was the plot pretty hokey? Definitely. Did I gnash my teeth when they uploaded the laughing skull virus into the alien mothership? Yeah, but then it blew up, so it was okay. I'm okay with stuff blowing up, so it's all good for me.
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sequence of the year.
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That was the several-part pilot of the cartoon series you're talking about. The rest of the series followed. Oh, and I'm sorry, but if there's no hint of the theme in there, well, that's just fucking stupid. It won't ruin the movie for me and I'm sure I'm actually gonna like this flick, but, c'mon... God forbid they try to make us old folks nostalgic.
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says Mr.Bush
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It was a double serving of Hell Fucking Yeah with a side order of OMFG. - horrible line. movie was pretty awesome though.
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If my FUCKING robot was too big, the whole act might end up feeling like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.
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Though, in his review, he does that thing where he gives a movie a good rating, but kinda sounds like he doesn't like it that much...
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"It was awesome. It was like a big honking slice of Awesome-toast buttered on both sides with awesome. It was a double serving of Hell Fucking Yeah with a side order of OMFG. If you are pumped for this, if you are ready to embrace this, if you want nothing more than to see mind blowing action unlike anything you have ever witnessed, then you will shit your shorts and giggle like a fucking school girl."- Awesome toast....that's what's awesome...
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button even more. I was talked into seeing that in the movies .... UGH. Groan inducing. I will happily give my money to Bay then endure a 10 second gander at ID4 again!
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No SIcko TB? It's one of the most controversial movies of the year. ANd it's important everyone see it. What kind of movie sight is this? I know what it used to be.
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yeah, I suppose a lot of the diehard fans will be dissapointed. don't get me wrong, the movie completely kicks ass, and there are a lot of "nostalgic" moments there, mostly anything to do with optimus, and I grinned like a fool when he (MILD SPOILERS AHEAD)and megatron were fighting it out while grandly discussing the value of the human race, just like in the old days! Still, Starscream's got one line, and all the decepticons are severely underused and lacking in the character development department. also, I really miss the old Jazz. He's kinda gangsta jazz now. And I can't for the life of me understand why they didn't make the megatron optimus fight on top of hoover dam. the climax is cool, but there are some missed opportunites. Still - all these things are probably stuff that non fans will never think of.
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this argument doesn't hold water, it's a good film granted but this shakespeare thing is fucking stupid, back to the future was a good movie and that wasn't shakespeare. why does shakespeare automatically mean quality? learn fucker.
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stick to documentaries or the news.
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I f'n loved this movie the 1st time and just got back from seeing it again. The verdict? It holds up just as good. Goosebumps when seeing them Transform again good. This is the best blockbuster/popcorn flick to come out for a decade plus. Sure, Optimus has flames but if you come out still mad about that you mustn't have a soul. Bay didnt rape my childhood he handed it back to me 20 years later and I can't wait to see it on the big screen again.
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there's some nostalgia, i put it in my review. jazz breakdances when he first transforms. optimus says 'one shall stand, one shall fall', you see the matrix, the old transforming sound is in there a few times, optimus says 'freedom is the right of all sentient beings', jazz does the same thing to devastator/brawl as kup did to blitzwing in the animated movie.
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have you seen the movie? i'd put this on par with jurassic park, spectacle that doesn't feel empty(ID4 was empty and stupid).
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Shaddap. He DOES mention the plot when he said it's paper thin and just an excuse for giant robots to beat the hell out of each other. As someone who grew up on the cartoons, the movie is a fine representation of the characters and spirit of the source material. the "droolers in their parents basements" as you state it are the ones arguing about character arcs and story in a movie that, much like the cartoon is designed to a) sell toys and b) have giant robots beat the shit out of each other. (You'll notice i didn't champion Bay there. I am no fan of his, but I have no complaints as to how he handled this property)
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can someone explain to me why the UK adn Ireland dont get it to the 27th of July...thats a fucking joke...i dont understand how Die Hard and fantastic 4 can get world wide releases but Shrek 3 (shit) and Transformers are weeks behind..no good
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There is NO raping of any kind. Seriously, Transformers was a thin show as Massa said, and on top of that was nothing but a way to make money in different cultural mediums. So what is it you fuckers want from a Transformers movie? Do you wish that they were fighting over Energon cubes and spouting off horribly cheesy lines, OR do you want a fucking amazing special effects summer blockbuster from Michael "I Could Make Watching Paint Dry Fucking Interesting" Bay, who you KNOW is utilizing the kick ass motherfucking robots to their full potential? This is what Transformers should fucking be. Amen, Massa.
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what the hell was new in that campy movie? Sure it had great effects, but it was more about the art direction in the effects, there was nothing new about the ideas, no new style there.
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.......still waiting.
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i really liked the movie but it wasn't a thin show, there's a reason it lasted so long. The characters are what made it great, all with their own memorable personalities. There's was also that war for natural resources which would make a great sequel.
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...that goes to a movie featuring giant robots from outer space fighting each other and expects life changing dialogue is a simpleton. You go, you watch things go boom and you walk away. You want a thick meaty story that challenges your beliefs or brings you to tears? This aint it. Cause like Massa said, "ITS GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS FIGHTING!" If you cant figure that out go back to mommas house, have her bake you cookies, wipe your nose and tell you what a smart little boy you really are. Then go online and post messages on AICN about how much you hate Michael Bay. Maybe include references to Uwe Boll or McG for good measure. Then sit back with the satisfaction that you just might have made a difference in the world cause momma can't be wrong about you. Again slowly.....GIANT.....FIGHTING.....ROBOTS!!!!!!
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That's not Transformers!Nobody understands Transformers! Michael Bay raped my childhood! WHAAAAWHHHAAAAAWWWWHHHHAAAAA! HA! LOSERS!
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I am not looking for Oscar worthy dialogue or anything like that. I just want a big, popcorn summer movie. The cartoon didn't have the thickest of plots, so I don't expect that of a movie adaptation. I just want to envision as close as possible what it would be like if it were real and from what I have seen and heard, I think this movie will do that. Sorry, but I enjoyed the hell out of ID4. I didn't think it was a perfect movie, but any movie where the entire audience cheers most of the way through proves to me it did its job...it entertained. That is why I am really looking forward to Transformers. I want to be entertained.
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about the plot being far from complex, I dis-agree. The story meshed and stories that aren't complex general don't mesh.
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that the cartoon actually had a better plot than this. The Allspark is stupid. In the cartoon you never had characters pissing on one another. You never had the humans defeating the Decepticons. (CMON the Autobots are the heroes not the fucking military).
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saying that this movie has an equal plot to that of the cartoon.
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Well, I've seen Sicko, is there anything else on the horizon?
I still stand by my statement that we should always expect the best that they can do with the material and the setup, be it The Usual Suspects, Meet the Parents or yes, big giant robots fighting. I just think that they could have done better with the existing material. The opening attack on the base at Qatar was great but unfortunately, the film didn't sustain that level of quality, though it did pick up towards the end.
How about this less contentious statement; would we all have liked to have seen more of the Decepticons and (especially) Megatron in the film? Are we all in more or less agreement about this at least? -
There where moments in Transformers that truly did make ID4 look like solid piece of cinema. Man did we take that movie for granted. Sure ID4 is maybe just another pop-summer-flick but it had a sense of dread and that the Earth was in real danger. In Transformers everything plays like a computergame, and while that computergame is the hottest shit ive ever beheld on the silverscreen it still felt distanced and tame. This is Michael Bay in its purest form. He is so afraid of really making the audience care about anything so everyting in the film is just a setup for a lame joke.
He also seems in love with productplacement, as if its his greatest tool to involve the audience and connect with them. Its just plain sad.
And whats up with the voices of the transformers? Only Peter Cullen's voice was great and the rest just felt pasted on. -
Saw it tonight, and while I'm no Transformers diehard, I personally thought it was a hugrely entertaining film, best pure popcorn entertainment I've seen in a damn long time. Sure, there were a couple of niggly things, such as Turturro's overacting, and the squeal noises of the tiny decepticon infiltration unit, but those are very minor things.
It's also one of the most expensive looking films I've ever seen, just the sheer amount of action, effects and destruction is pretty amazing, and the film has a forward momentum that just does not quit. Seriously, if you have any interest in seeing this, you really need to see it on a big screen.
And speaking of effects, for my money they totally managed to sell the realism of the robots being living and tangible creatures that are actually part of the framed environment rather than merely looking like obviously patched in effects (except for maybe one shot, guess water is still a little hard to pull off), which was pretty impressive also.
In a US blockbuster season of generally disappointing films, this is one popcorner that actually fully deserves to do well at the box office.As I said above, I'm no die hard Transformers fan, but I liked them well enough growing up I guess, and I was certainly aware enough of them to have a basic working knowledge of what's what. I'm also not a rampant Bay hater, I loved The Rock, and I hated Pearl Harbor, and the rest of his films thus far all fit somewhere between those two to varying degrees, so I pretty much went into this with no expectations one way or the other, and I came out having been supremely entertained, and already looking forward to a sequel happening. I don't know how well it'll hold up to repeat viewings, but it's still a hell of a fun ride.
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The fact is that Bay caters to an easily identifiable demographic: brainless lunkheads who find random spouting of phrases such as "BRING IT!" gratifying or - perhaps on some level - entertaining? People who use the expression "COCK HARD". I'm amazed some of these reviewers know how to sit on chairs, let alone type.
There are enough cringe-worthy moments throughout the film without having to read: "It was like a big honking slice of Awesome-toast buttered on both sides with awesome. It was a double serving of Hell Fucking Yeah with a side order of OMFG." Michael Bay "comedy" at it's very finest. Painful.
What makes the weak-as-shit script more intolerable is the fact that Tom DeSanto wrote a treatment which Kurtzman and Orci later said "could have made quite a good movie". Bay now denies it's existence (contradicting many other sources) but instead they stuck with the original piece of crap.
This is/was a MOVIE SITE. Nonsensical structure, non-existent plot (complete with holes aplenty), horrendous dialogue and pathetic attempts at comedy MUST matter. You can't just look at it objectively and say "Ah well, none of that matters because of how the erection I got when that bus exploded."
First the e-felation of Eli Roth and now attaining the mantle of No.1 BayFormers Cheerleading Site on the Internet - The demise of AintItCool continues. -
to claim that this is nothing more than a two hour commercial for the U.S. Military and American made gas guzzlers. That's when these talkbacks will get really interesting.
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I know i will love the film as all the reviews i have read say the film is great but most people on here say its crap and made by "Teh hack Bay". Whenever this happens, i always end up loving the films.
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I freakin loved this movie! Honestly the worst part for me of the whole thing was the stuff with Turturro. For him to be this bad was astounding. I think he was going for creepy government non-entity but came off as just weird. Was the S7 shirt his idea? When the DVD comes out someone should edit him out and this movie will be much better.
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Well that could work.
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How can you NOT think Michael Bay did the damn thang with this one. This movie is incredible
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If Transformers is as "good" as ID4, I will be very pleased and have a great time at the theater.
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I caught that Go-Bots movie too and my oh my my mom's going to have to do my laundry when tonight when she gets back from her bridge club.. meanwhile I think I will just hang out in the basement wearing my underoos for a while...
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Enough is enough you whiney fanboy fucks. Every god damn movie it's, "Oh, I don't like this about it, and I don't like that." Even that first pic of Indy on the set is getting flak. You god damn morons! Listen, just cause you went to the Art Institute doesn't mean you actually understand anything about film or art. Take a shit on your expectations already and just enjoy the fucking movie. If there are parts you don't like, just write to Michael Bay and express your grievances. I'm sure he'll listen to all your feedback and do a special edition in 10 years where all the faults are fixed and you'll have your fucking Citizen Kane-like Transformers. The world will be perfect and we'll all hold hands and sing la-de-da-de-da!
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...man, I can't wait 'til next week.
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I'll be seeing it sometime this week. Not sure when. I saw Die Hard this weekend. Twice. My kid saw Ratatoataiailuolle with her cousin. So that's where our cinema dollars went, and where they'll be going.
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So basically everyone rails on Bay. The movie turns out to rock and some of these idiots now claim everyone is Bay lovers? You people are idiots. I'm sorry you're crying yourself to sleep clutching the VHS television collection in your arms but GROW UP this IS the Transformers movie fans have been waiting for. Stop looking for things to complain about because your life sucks. Bayformers cheerleading site? Claiming the demise of AICN because of a good review for Transformers makes it clear you are a virgin. Fact.
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Thanks for the review, Massa. I was never a fan of Transformers, I admit, even when most of my friends were buying and watching them on tv. Not sure why I wasn't a fan, because I'm certainly a fan of giant robots beating the shit out of each other. Maybe it wasn't on at the right time or my parents didn't let me watch it or something. I can't remember.
That said, I'm glad Michael Bay finally put together the movie he was born to make. A violent, glitzy children's show brought to the big screen. Though I'm not generally a fan of Bay or his style over substance filmmaking, I give him credit where credit is due. Glad to see he hit one out of the park.
Maybe I'll even take my nephews to see it. -
"you will shit your shorts and giggle like a fucking school girl." doesn't make it on the poster I will be very disappointed.
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... plus this should sell a lot of tickets, I hope.
I hope that because it could mean a bigger budget, more Decepticons, more Autobots and much more of robots smashing each other up.
*Especially* more Decepticons.
Furthermore, we can get right into the action, worked for X2.
I mean the mere fact that Soundwave is supposed to be in it this time is a good place start.
Also give Frank Welker a role. He could do Soundwave, couldn't he? (the modulation should mean it doesn't matter how old he is, right?) - or any Decepticon or Autobot - or at least something in the next film. -
Get your shit together. How am I supposed to take anything you say seriously when you can't even count to two?
Sidebar: Any talkbacker that hates on "Live Free or Die Hard" needs to be shipped out to join his un-American friends at Guantanamo Bay. Saw it this weekend and it was f'ing awesome with a capital AWE. I didn't care much for the airplane sequence but everything else was the mad notes.
***SPOILERS***
The dude shot a guy through his own arm!!! Come on!! No action flick is that badass these days. I found Mac kid (Justin Long) a surprisingly effective addition to the proceedings - a few of his jokes fell flat but he was very funny for the most part. John McClane for President!
***SPOILERS OVER***
To the idiot guys sitting behind me rolling their eyes at the general implausibility of it all: Did you see any other movie in the series?! It's Die Hard not Die on a Bed of Baby Soft Goosedown. It's never been based in reality! Get over yourselves.And yes, I was kidding about Massawyrm's counting skills... -
... I hope obviously. Curse this typo of omission! *sigh*
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I haven't been to the cinema since January but I'm sooo going to see this. Preferably digital.
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i know i'm gonna love this for it's action and hate it for it's story. Bay can do good stories just look at the first half of the island before it turned into one horrible action/chase scene. I hope This isnt like that cuz the island had cool shit blowing up in it but it was all pointless and i felt distracting from a good story. I would be happy it this is a good action i just hope it won't be boring like Bay's previous works were...but i will say this SPIELBERG deserves the benefit of the doubt, i'll give ten bucks to give it a try.
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Check with your local AMC theaters. We are going to see it tonight at 8pm. I can't wait. Hopefully the pretzel bites are fresh and the cheese is warm!!!
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the experience of watching a shitty movie...I am loving that every reviewer that enjoyed this film is forced to be an apologist. "well, I know it sucked, and it's Bay, and it was terrible, but gosh durn if I didn't have a good ol' time!"I sure as hell didn't.
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The worst movie I have ever seen.
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... apparently they have settled out of court with the makers of "Parts: The Clonus Horror" for basically lifting the entire script without permission. It would have been cheaper just to buy the rights for the film in the first place since it only cost $257,000 or thereabouts.
I feel sorry for Michael Bay on that one since it would have primarily been the screenwriter's fault. -
thank you for giving me my first big laugh of the day. only in the talkbacks, would someone have the stones to tell you that not liking Michael Bay means you don't have taste...thank you again sir. I honestly laughed out loud there.
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AICN Says: "You will shit your shorts and giggle like a fucking school girl!" TIME MAGAZINE Says: "It's...
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Moriarty, my respect for you just doubled.
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It seems like everyone is liking the film in spite of its flaws.
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It does have it's problems, but it is FUCKING AWESOME!!!
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Remember how young girls kept going back to see that movie over and over again because of Leo? Well the same will be true for young boys and grown men for Transformers. I've not even seen the movie yet and neither has any of my close friends. We are going tomorrow because I am in a band and we have a show and well I hate to say it as much as I love what I do I am not happy I can't see Transformers. But there is one common thread of those who have seen it from what I am reading and those who have yet to see it. That is that they know they are going back for multiple viewings before this leaves the theater. That is going to carry this movie through the Summer and give it legs. Fathers wanting to take their sons. Friends getting together for another viewing party. It could very well become the biggest office smash of all times. I grew up in the 80's. I watched that show. I remember how insane it was back then for us boys. Now you have a live action version that is getting rave reviews and tapping into the young kids now AND the kids who grew up and had kids themselves? That's the perfect storm. It's going to be massive.
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Cheap emotional manipulation may indeed generate emotions, but it's still poorly earned. So I guess the influence of Gitmo on Hollywood with both Bumblebee and Silver Surfer being tortured by the government this summer.
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the hits keep coming. you are better than a showing of Caddyshack on TBS!Bay made Transformers, and in my mind, it's a Bay film, same as the rest. I would have been happy if it had distinguished itself, but it didn't, in my opinion. so saying I have no taste because I don't like it, is the same as saying I have no taste because I don't like Michael Bay movies.clear?and I love the reading comp line...very cute. this from a kid that can't get through a post without using the UBER played out "pwned" and "hater"...or occassionaly mixing it up by throwing in a "retard"...the biggest irony? I spent 2 years teaching kids like you how to write essays. then I gave up because, well, no offense, but they were all like you...
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no more 'haters' or 'apologists'....just let it go. The movie will be huge, all the geeks, MTV teens and ManChildren will love it, everyone else won't see the big deal. I have seen it and I thought it had amazing action sequences and so-so everything else, Shia was pretty good. But the movie seriously is not worth all this hype and unwarranted hate....its a average film disguised with great CGI.
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Massawyrm reviews shit...eloquence man... just plain eloquence. Can't wait, dude
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It's really not a big deal and I enjoyed debating about it. It still seems that the film has all of the same problems as the script, though. It's just that people are willing to look past it. I've read enough reviews that I'm satisfied the script still sucks. :)
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It's also due in part to all of the summer flicks being subpar. There is nothing to hold it up against.
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Michael Bay is really not a good filmmaker. A good commerical director...perhaps.
Independence Day was awful. I'm not sure what was worse -- ID or Jurassic Park 2.
This isn't my idea of a popcorn movie. Grindhouse was.
I recommend everyone watch El Topo. That will blow your minds. Maybe the best non-horror film I've seen in many years. -
messed up, merchandice vehicle just like them damn Ninja Turtles. This looks good mental in an eye melting special effects kind of way and Shia le Poof is proving all the haters wrong because he manages to carry a stupid fucking giant robot Summer movie! Saw him in Booby last night and dude can act propper so him in Indy 4 is a GOOD thing.Oh and think Massa gave Hostel 2 a positive review and I just suffered it and it fucking stank!
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All the people complaining since the film shooting began? Now it's everyone praising Michael Bay. I'm sooo confused. Complaining just to complain is ridiculous. If you don't like him, don't see it. I don't like him. And I won't be. At least not for almost $10 a pop. After Armageddon, I will say -- as of right now -- I will never see another movie associated with Michael Bay. I've yet to be impressed by his work. I like sfx, but they need some weight with them (not just story, but acting, energy, all that kinda crap). SFX for the sake of sfx is boring. Like a videogame.
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shut the fuck up. theres nothing to be proud of with 'pwning haterz'.
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This, people, is the only way the movie can sell itself now. "Sure I am a suck film, dumb and in need of the short bus, but damn if I aint amazing to look at." Every review has apologized for the film first, and then went on to say, "But it was so coool to look at. And I am a man who loves breasts!" Jerks, idiots, if you're that easily bought, then you deserve nothing- let Hollywood roll you over and do its business. Bring on Shortbusatron!
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.I don't think much changed from the script I read. Some works on screen others don't. I just can't get over-worked about this movie...I am not a huge fan of CGI and I was never into the show. It is much better than all the other summer movie tentpoles so far.
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complements the story - not simply for its own sake. POTC3 really used and abused the 'ol CGI. So did Spidey 3.
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To all of you bashing those who enjoy movies like this....FUCK OFF. Sometimes you just want to sit and watch giant fucking robots break shit. Not every movie has to be the fucking Crying Game. If you hate Bay fine, but I will be there at 8:00 tonight waiting to see a summer popcorn movie. You act like Bay tries to be something he is not. I have never seen an interview where he made himself out to be Kubrick for christs sake. You have the nerve to call out Transformers fans as basement dwelling nerds? Take a look at the mirror asshat and remember your tossing barbs while fulfilling the same fucking sterorotype.
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I liked Armageddon and Starship Troopers and fuck I even liked Alien Resurrection (up until act 3), so I'm sure I'll like this too. Off to the theater to watch it now.
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I haven't seen this much asskissing since Bill had to explain Monica to Hilary. LOL
You people keep letting Hollywood know you only want explosions and that's all you're gonna get. -
I agree. If Batman got treated like this, I think this site would light the internet on fire. "But it's just a silly toy movie." If that's your take, then you’ve got a severely limited imagination.
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I am adamantly waiting for next summer, it seems the movies than will be of better quality
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whose opinions shouldn't even matter to me. My word is law!!! If I hate a movie all should hate it, if I like it all should worship it. How dare anyone disagree with me as I am obviously the authority on everything. I know what you like better than you do!!!!
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I'm a moviegoer who loves to see a drama, a comedy, a documentary, and the occasional mindless spectacle. Since the majority of Americans seem to only leave their houses for the movie theater if they "don't have to think for two hours"* then that's what they'll get over and over again.
Not to mention this is not exactly the time of year to harp on how bad movies are. Summer is spectacle season. You want good films? You wait until October rolls around. That's not to say that Hollywood in incapable of good, solid storytelling in the warmer months. There are exceptions to the rule. But, they're not exactly Plan A, either.
*actual quote from person in line for Silver Surfer while I was waiting for Ratatouille. -
but people are going to go see this whether the story is crap or not. It's pure spectacle and at least it's not pretending to be anything but that. Batman Begins was excellent, but F4 is what families want to see and what these movie studios want to make more of. With a movie like Transformers they can make Theme Park rides and put as much product placement as possible in the movie without anyone blinking an eyelash about. If Batman picked up a Coke and drank it the movie would lose all credibility. Transformers is the type of cash cow that you better get used to because it isn't going away any time soon.
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...for "fanboys" to separate themselves from "the masses" of moviegoers.
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What about Ratatouille. Why isn't the site pushing this film hot and heavy. Didn't you all like the Iron Giant and Incredibles? Where's your Pixar support?
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I really really don't like Shia LaBeouf. Or Eli Roth. Or Sarah Silverman. Or Tom Rothman. Does that make me an anti-semite?
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After all of our sometimes heated and sometimes fun debates regarding Transformers, it's good to see that you are a level headed and open minded kind of guy. A rarity here at AICN TBs. Nothing but respect from "moto" to "superninja". See you in line at the theater then, huh?
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For your note about some theaters showing it tonight. I checked my local multiplex and sure enough, giant fucking robots are in town. I had no idea the theater was doing this. :D Seeing it @ 8 as well.
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Mostly because this movie looks like more Bay-shit but also because I would rather watch movies in HD. Until they start upgrading movie theaters with HD projectors instead of the horseshit resolution they have now I am officially boycotting theaters after Superbad.
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I saw it early. It was big, loud and dumb.
Just like every other Michael Bay film.
There are just as many lapses in logic and plotlines based upon coincidence as Armageddon (which is also a heaping pile of shit). Were the effects cool? Yes. Was LeBouf good? Yes. Was Megan Fox a sexy mannequin? Oh GOD yes. But other than that...you have basically nothing. The more you think about the plot, the more ridiculous it is. The more you think about the cliched moments that ape previous films or the asinine attempts at "humor" it begins to grate on you. And let's not mention the CONSTANT product placement in this movie. If the cartoon was a Toy Commercial, then this film is taking all the commercials in the average televised Movie broadcast, smashing them together and stringing some "scenes" in-between. And the only thing that I can say about Bay's constant, nausea-inducing camera motion--it is necessary in this film so you can make out the robots. Because they look horrible when they are standing still. And can someone tell me why Robots, who neither eat nor drink, require LIPS? WTF? V For Vendetta showed that you can get emotion out of a protagonist with a blank expression. And what is with the robot peeing? That wasn't funny in Ice Pirates, 23 years ago!!
This movie is over-designed, over-directed, over-acted, over-exploded, over-marketed, over-hyped...and ultimately unsatisfying. They could have sacrificed one of the many plot threads or extra characters and focused on the story a bit more...what about the sense of loss of a displaced culture forced into hiding on a backwater planet? They could have had a real flashback to life on Cybertron, or had Bumblebee talk earlier in the film, to give exposition without bogging the pacing down. I mean, come on. Giant, EVENT movies do not have to be dumb. I would have LOVED to see what James Cameron would have done with this. Or Spielberg himself. The thought that the two ass-monkeys who wrote this are doing Star Trek, which is by nature cerebral (even Wrath of Khan) scares the crap out of me. -
It was theme-park style ride of a movie, but was shamelessly romantic and engaged your brain as well as your eyes. The Sand Crabs, Land of the Dead, and the Nuptial Sword Fight in the Maelstrom all made the film worth seeing it twice...and the great coda at the end.
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MASSAWYRM IS A PLANT! MICHAEL BAY RAPED MY CHILDHOOD! WAAAAAAAAAA!
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Is a drooling, pathetic waste of sperm who despite the fact that he believes he's coming up with "rational" arguments. STILL claims that the movie sucks (again, this is your OPINION not fact) The vast amount of glowing reviews would seem to indicate otherwise. once again let me remind you the destinction between fact and opinion.....opinion you thought the movie was shit, fact: many people like it and many more will like it.
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As an intelligent and independently thinking adult who was around at the height pf the 80's Transformers popularity and can still enjoy the 86' film at a base level, I will be seeing this film tonight and after I have done that I will be back with my opinion of the movie. Bear in mind that I have no discernable opinion about Michael Bay (don't hate him, but I'm not an apologist either.) Everything I've seen so far from this movie seems to indicate that it's going to be a slam dunk. I have no issues with the character re-designs (sorry kids blocky would NOT have worked, and yes I've seen the CGI clips with the classic Prime and Classic Starscream designs) I unlike some people have absolutely not problem telling the decepticons apart. Anyway, seeing it tonight, will be back with my opinions within the next 24-36 hours.
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"People like you YOU are the tan less ones in your moms basement dry humping your G1 twin sheets with Sound Wave in your butt!" That's some top notch humour. You should write the next Michael Bay flick. Great point you made about personal attacks though - Care to re-read your post?
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see the film. There are enough bad reviews of this thing that I'm still on the fence.
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When is someone going to make that into a live action movie?
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Across the board 75% of the reviews say it's a good movie, 25% say it's mot. Not trying to convince you to go (ultimately that's your decision) But I just thought I'd lend some perspective to these proceedings.
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Are there any iPhones in this? I ain't watchin' it unless there are. Also, Paris Hilton needs to be in it to really hold my attention.
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I'm sorry - you're all wrong. Go and watch it again. Because I bet most of you are just parroting what Mori's saying and haven't actually seen it since it came out (if ever). I have it on DVD and actually watched it last week with a friend and a LOT of beers and it was an absolute blast. Sure it's dumb, corny, cheesy and the rest of it - but it's got a great script as summer movies go (yes, it really does - trust me, go watch it again). Well drawn and memorable characters (stereotypes yes but who cares) and a lot of laughs. The effects are great, the pacing is good and the score is exceptional. And I'm not some kind of demented Emmerich defender - Godzilla was pure sh!t. But I just can't sit back and see you all trash Independence Day like it's going out of season. Seriously, watch it again.
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day and now it's at 64%. Which is right about where I figured it would end up. Not to say that I follow the critics, but I do read the reviews to see how they analyze the movie.
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Across the board, except for Bill Pullham and Mary McDonnell and even still the script was a pile.
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the source material seriously but knowingly being stupid.
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you'll either watch the movie or you won't. I'm not basing any of my thoughts on what ANY review says. I plan on seeing it. I wasn't basing my review stats on Rottentomatoes, I was saying just across the board between professional critics and average people the buzz about the movie has stayed mostly positive. Now there are your people out there who want this movie to fail and will do whatever they can to try and implement that.
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It would seem that your collective intelligence had been dumbed down WAY before Michael bay's Transformers hit the scene.
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he is everything I hate in Hollywood. I really haven't even liked his last three. But when I am sitting there in the thrall of his blinding, deafening crapfests, I can't turn a way. As a result, I have seen every one of his damned movies and I will see this one. I'm like a battered wife going back to the asshole who hit me. I need help.
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I love the Transformers movie. Seriously, I've been a transformers fan for 21 years now, I never watched the cartoon but I read and re-read every single issue of those comic books and I still have them. I think this movie might appeal more to a fan of the comic books (which were A LOT better storywise than the cartoon) than fans of the tv show. There were no energon cubes or shit like that in the comics, but the allspark was a huge part of that mythology and I'm glad they kept it for the movie.
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Yeah, it's our fault you guys elected the Texas record holder for executing people to run your country. Twice. We're the fucktards.
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The GW as President thing was just supposed to be a practical joke. Who knew it would go horribly wrong.
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Yeah it's a lot more like the G1 comic than the cartoon. A lot more than Armada too. Things they changed from the G1 comic include; there's no Ark mother ship, the Transformers can reprogram themselves to change into new things, it's not set in Oregon (no Mount St. Hilary), The Transformers haven't been dormant on earth for millions of years (although Megatron has been for thousands), but overall feel is a lot more like a comic book issue on steroids than that cartoon energon crap.
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What problems the Spider-man movies had, with the lack of chemistry between tobey and kirsten, no real 'oomph' in the action and no real sense of height amidst the skyscraper roof tops; this movie delivered on. Fuck, I suddenly wish Sam Raimi would hand over the Spidey franchise to the Bay/Spielberg team because while I liked Raimi's spider-man, there's not much in those movies that make me want to watch them over and over. They're a bit dull and heavy handed. Transformers had REAL action all the way through, and while the screenplay had some flaws in its logic, the story progression was brilliantly written.
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Does anyone else think this guy suffers from Asperger's syndrome or a (slight) case of autism? It would explain a lot.
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"...with a side order of OMFG."
I wish they would put that blurb on the trailers and ultimately on the DVD case. -
how gay. in unison no less
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"If you even think for a moment of catching this on DVD, you've entirely missed the point of it."
Well, I'm going to watch it in theatre(have to w8 till August2nd here in Germany T_T), as my older brother and his Girlfriend gave me (15+5)€ worth of Coupons, they brought at the biggest Cinema in our city.
currently, i'm considering going twice into that Movie, which is really the first Movie i'm actually considering this, out of my 26Years, of living.
And when the DVD hits the shelves, I'm so going to buy the biggest Version available here.
I would spend actually up to 50€(which is a bit over 66US$) on that DVD, which should get all MakingOf's and Trailers, and maybe all Ads around that Movie too, like the Ad with the Toaster-Bot(hopefully). -
http://tinyurl.com/yo6272
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I finally saw FF2 over the weekend. Think I'll wait for a week, though. It's not like other than hating or loving it there is much to say about it, really.
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I had my doubts, but I liked it a lot. Wasn't perfect, but very few films are. I don't feel like my childhood was raped.
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but fun. The movie is pretty painful to watch though until the finale. The end sequences definitely deliver the goods and I was glad to know I am still able to be genuinely wowed. It was also jam packed an hour before the film even started. I dont remember that kind of excitement in a theatre since BATMAN.
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Jul 03, 2007 1:06:02 AM CDT
This movie F'N SUCKED!!!!! YOU ALL LIED TO ME!!!!!!!!!!
by gibsonusa returns
I am f'ing pissed!What the F*** was that???????
This webpage was hyping up THAT CRAP?????? It was just 2.5 hours of stupid jokes! It was embarassing! The only redeeming quality was the very very end, but by then the lame cheesy jokes already killed it.
WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME????? Seriously, why did you lie to me?? Yes, I had been trashing the designs, but I repeated over and over again that I hoped the movie itself would be good. You guys got me hyped up. WHY????? NO, it's not even good for a mindless movie. It's not good for ANY movie. The whole crowd walked out depressed. Live Free was so much SO MUCH better. OMG how could you lie to me...... -
The best you can say for it is that it's "decent fun" or "not too horrible" or "very pretty" but THATS IT.
Stupid jokes galore...from the bored operator to Bumblebee's song choices to the "my bad" to Anthony Anderson's one liners to the pee jokes to the hiding in the neighborhood....WTF????? You gonna spend time defending this? For real?? -
WOW!! Visual fucking eye candy. Thin plot, but who cares. Popcorn movie, fuckers!! Could have done without sector 7...BORING!!!
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... for the sheer way on how Optimus deals with Bonecrusher.
These are definitely not my father's or anybody elses' Transformers and that is a great thing. These have been upgraded. These robots have been at war and they are all about taking care of business.
Can't wait to see it again. -
I’ve already seen this movie twice and I can say I liked it twice, around here in Italy we had the possibility to watch it on the 29th of June at the Taormina film festival world premier (Sicily), then all over cinemas around here this movie had already a full weekend of screens, I went sunday and yesterday again and it was truly better cos there were only 20 people in the room and it was the last show for the day and plus it costed me 5 euro only. First, it’s a movie on transformers, you can’t expect much about the story, you want to see giant robots fighting and action and you have, mayhem all over several places and you have, last but not least a bit of comedy and it works well. ILM did a great job and I wish we had more transformers screen time to watch. Referring to the cartoons there are little differences about the names. First we always knew Autorobots instead of Autorobots, Distructors instead of Decepticons, Commander instead of Optimus Prime, Maggiolino instead of Bumblebee and so on, the only name kept intact was Megatron but I guess cos it sounds good in italian. Same thing is about voices, I have US dvd so I do know original voices but in the movie all is dubbed so whatever you expect it’s completely different. I know lot of people hate Bay, he’s good doing what he knows to do and he used the circling camera sequence during the shoot out like he did in bad boys 2 and kept the music from Kill Bill when bumblebee upgrades on the new Camaro, the only thing I wish was better was the general tone of the movie, if it was a bit more serious it would’ve been perfect but I do understand movies are for the masses and no doubt this movie it’s gonna rank first everywhere. Anyway these are my 2 cents, enjoy the movie. Ciao!
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Watch Hannibal Rising instead for that same attack, but no 2.5 hours of stupid jokes and robots hiding around a house.
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Let me make myself more clear. I've seen episodes of the cartoon at friends' houses, but never watched it regularely as we didn't have cable and I was too young to speak english at that age anyway. The comic books were a lot more accessable to me as they were not in english and hence I became a fan of those.
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Man after reading most of your posts I have to wonder who's actually dumber, the people like me, who like having a good time, or people like you who insult people like me with petty insults and cursings. Seriously all you do is bitch, whine, and verbally attack other members on the talkback. But your insults carry no weight, there is little intelligence in just about everything you say. I know this because all you do is scream TINO, OR Michael Bay rapped my childhood, or say that anybody who likes this movie is, paid, a plant, a sellout ect. And then you say were the ones who are simple, narrow minded, brainless idiots. Your a pathetic waste of time on an unimaginable scale. Come back when you finally grow up some. And while I'm at it, everything above could be applied to Jay smack as well, you guys are pathetic.
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...to be one of you angry fanboys who go through life hating everything. Who came home to your mama's garage, picked up up your mint in box Optimus Prime G1 figure cursing Michael Bay because you know that with $200 mil you would have made the perfect TF movie. Who then grabbed a moist towlette, rubbed off to thoughts of Megan Fox (or Shia- whatever floats your boat) pissed off about that kinda pretty girl that once showed you attention in high school getting away and now your 25 and still a virgin. It's fine to dislike a film but please stop being such a dramatic little bitch about it!
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It was fucking amazing in '96. I didn't think anything was better for a week or two. Then I watched it again last year and... Holy shit was it BAD. I don't feel ashamed for liking it then, but now it all feels lazy and VERY hollow. Transformers will be the same. This is one of the worst reviews on AICN, and it'll look like Harry's Godzilla & Armageddon reviews in a month.
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I am a girl whose tastes in most things film and comic book make me look to the world like a 15 year old boy. I frakkin' loved this movie. All these many months I'd been saying that I don't give a crap about the "plot" or the "characters" and that all I wanted was 100 foot tall robots beatin' the shit outta each other. Well gentlemen... I GOT THAT. In spades. I got Optimus Prime trying to hide from parents...! I got Jazz breakdancing! I also got a giant GM advertisement that will make every one of you want one of those new Camaros and I got myself... looking at every semi-trailer on the highway on the way back home and just hoping in my lizardy backbrain to see one with the Autobots logos on it. Wondering how fresh my car would be with one...?
I also got too little sleep 'cause this movie is LONG... but that's okay. I will nap-up today and go see it again with some boys whose wives can't be talked into it. Silly wives. This movie is going to make them so jazzed that they could get some action tonight.
Ah well. I am not in Bay's pockets, and I understand why some people won't like certain things. I don't get why Bay has a hatred of un-blown-up cars... why is that? And useless slow-mo shots about people you've never seen on-screen before? Why? And there's a smell of sequal-itis, and it may or may not happen, but I would go see it if it does. Sneak into it if you don't want to pay Bay any more $$... I get that. Just see it on the biggest screen you can. -
...from those who've made their minds up already? Too bad for them. It's a pity they didn't enjoy it, but I'll get over it. I'm just glad I'm not too uptight to have a blast watching movies like Transformers.
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What's wrong with ID4? Sure its no Star Wars or Alien, but its a perfectly fun/good flick. You guys tend to use the words aweful and terrible a bit too often. I guess if a movie isn't 100% perfect then its horrible in the geeks eyes. Also, what's with the Shia hate? The kids only been in a few films and got lucky enough to be cast in some big movies lately. Geek jealousy? The movies I've seen him in he does a great job for a kid his age.
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change the medium or will it be a marketing phenomenom? Or is this one of those questions that can only be answered by the passage of time?
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Look for me in the TB with the biggestest responses
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Shia LaBouf really carried the lines well. Everyone was complaining about the 'more than meets the eye' line. Wow, he had a great delivery and made the line work.
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I can't quite believe on face value, your claim. considering you wrote that you "got a 4.0 in [your] degree of English Lit". what does that mean? that you graduated from college with a 4.0? or that you got a 4.0 in your major? or that you did neither, and are just trying to come up with something that seems like a good comeback? no one would actually write that in the way you did anyway. sorry bud, I call shenanigans...and if you are older than me, and still using "haters" and "pwned", that's extraordinarily sad. I'm 27. I went to Oxford, and the University of Salamanca in Spain (the oldest continuously running university in the world) as well as colleges here in the US. I speak 4 languages, and have 4 degrees.so I guess it doesn't matter if you're making up your English Lit. degree, which I suspect you are, I guess I still "win", right?now that that stupid competition is settled, feel free to drop the "haters get pwned" shit, OK? it's just boring, and it makes you look sillier than you actually are...
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Nyah nyah nyah
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I speak english, spanish, russian and german. I can read french and portuguese decently, but can't speak very well.I have a creative writing degree, a spanish undergrad degree, a teacing degree, language proficiency certificates in spanish and german, and a film school degree.what movies? you mean my actual movies, or Willy Wonka movies? my movies are here: www.sparefilms.comI am not so bad after all...MrWonka was takenthe oompah loompah's were racist characatures, I welcome their rebirth is orange crush cans.
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http://tinyurl.com/gc79d
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was Live Free or Die Hard better than this movie!!
Transformers has more balls than LForDH ever will, even if they do release an R-rated version of the film I saw in theaters.
I'll admit, as much as I loved Transformers when I was a kid, I didn't grow up immersing myself in the mythology that exists with all the series and the comics. So, with that perspective....I loved this fucking movie. Sure, I could've done without some of the pointless hokey moments...but it was definitely badass and totally fun. I'm seeing this fuckin' movie again.
My complaints are that I don't think there was really enough transforming. I wanted more crazy ass moments where they start running, transform in midair and proceed as a vehile (and vice versa). The whole Starscream fight scene was badass, but the whole climactic battle ended somewhat abruptly, in my opinion. Sort of like War of the Worlds (wtf, Spielberg??). Also, I think the movie didn't need the whole military/secretary of defense/hacker bullshit. They should've just focused on Shia's character and the robots.
Still, I'm seeing this again. It was badass. -
why do people keep using this senseless argument?NO ONE is expecting it to me some great, meaningful movie. we just didn't want it to suck. is that too much to ask?lower your expectations all you want, but you don't come off too good implying that everyone else should lower them as well...
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is that there weren't scenes with the actual Transformers in them.
It seemed like we spent a lot of time with the soldier dude and his posse, Jon Voight, the Ausie computer chick, Anthony Anderson and John Tuturro.
And apart from whether they were good or bad in their roles, I kept wondering what the hell they were doing there in the first place. And wouldn't this time be better spent with the Autobots or the Decepticons, you know the title characters of the movie.
'Cause when the movie's on the Transformers it completely kicks ass. Excepept for that looking for the glasses scene which indeed went on a bit too long.
When it goes to one of those other side storys it becomes just another Bay movie we've seen before. And only seemed to be in this movie to remind us that Bay directed it.
But it seemed like just whe the movie was starting to rev up. Sam and the smokin hot chick meet the Autobots, the Autobots explain why they're there, so now we know we know the stakes and the leads know who there fighting. We suddenly get whisked off by the government to get the Bay-cliches up to speed.
And suddenly the Transoformers all seem like guests in there own movie, or rather another movie we've seen before, and i really didn't want to see that day. Either by Bay or in Independence Day(not exactly the best aterial to borrow from).
Thankfully, we got more more Optimus and his crew in some truly Geekgasmic moments at the end, "One shall stand. One shall fall." but I still felt a bit annoyed that the Transformers themselves didn't get more sceen time.
Here's hoping for a sequel someone other than Bay will be directing. -
NEON GENESIS: EVANGELION, RAHXEPHON, FAFNER, BRAINPOWERED, IRON GIANT
Giant robots (even giant robots that turn into cool cars, trucks, tanks and jets) does not automatically mean that we should expect the movie to be dumb. Every movie based on a superhero comic would deserve a pass in that case. Exactly how much more ridiculous is the concept behind the TRANSFORMERS than those behind SPIDER-MAN, SUPERMAN or even ROBOCOP?
Now, I have to admit, when I hear Michael Bay, then sure I expect the plot to be a mess and the characterizations to be devastatingly bad, but Spielberg was involved and he made a sock-puppet alien work. -
Finally, AN HONEST STRAIGHTFORWARD AICN REVIEWER! One not so gobbled up and cornered by his own pretention, that we aren't sure if he wrote a review or a hate-mail letter without seeing the film in the first place.
Because all the rest of them rant endlessly and uselessly, which doesn't serve the review at all. It's what they do. They start off by way of long-ass introduction validating their status as a fanboy EVERY FUCKING REVIEW. And we come here and beg God that one day he will put an end to it, and make them review movies instead of proclaim to the high-heavens all their geeky repressed expressionism that they never got a chance to say in high-school without getting shoved in the lockers.
Massawyrm, I'm glad that you liked the film for what it was, like some of the rest of us. Because if you like the film for WHAT IT IS, it's a fucking riot. A great time in the theater with your friends and family, based on your beloved toys, seeing them in action you'd only previously dream of.
I'm tired of these reviewers acting like every single fucking comic book or licensed movie is gonna be fucking serious and/or made for adults every time. IT ISN'T. You guys lost touch with the idea of movies a long time ago, and NOT EVERY PROPERTY is going to be treated the way YOU want it treated, or fanbois want them treated. Get over it, or get off the site.
What you guys are doing is ruining the way things are, and whether you realize it or not, Hollywood does not cater to you and never will. -
Do you honestly believe we have to settle for shit plot with awesome special effects? You mention Star Wars, The Matrix, Jurrasic Park, and ID4. One of those films is constantly placed as one of the top 3 or 4 greatest films of all time. 3 are completely revolutionary and incredibly strong films. 1 sucks. You mention more than once how thin the plot in this movie is, and yet Star Wars and The Matrix are epic grandiose stories, mixed with the same mind numbing fx. You've already said there is little to no plot in Transformers. Jurassic Park blends its special effects with its themes concerning science vs nature. Are there any themes in Transformers? So if you're really honestly saying that Transformers is the next Star Wars.... what the fuck are you saying?
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(sings to the tune of the Transformers theme...) "Mi-chael Bay! Jacks off in your eyes!"
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