Ain't It Cool News (
Movie News

Moriarty Makes First Contact With TRANSFORMERS! The Movie, The Comics, The Books & More!

Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here. We can dispense with the clever tapdancing up front, all the hyperbole, and just cut right to it: TRANSFORMERS is a fun, slick summer movie. It’s very entertaining, and it might as well say “Starring ILM As The Coolest Goddamn Robots You Ever Saw” in the opening credits, because that’s what is going to make the film whatever size hit it is. It’s good. And that’s not saying “there are good parts in it,” either. I think as a movie, it knows exactly what it’s doing, it does it well, and it manages to avoid the mistakes that a lot of similar recent movies have made. This is not INDEPENDENCE DAY. This is not GODZILLA. I think this movie can only be a good thing for the world of TRANSFORMERS. I think this movie makes it a much larger cultural icon than it’s ever been before. This is not a toy commercial... and don’t get me wrong... it’s not a film, either. It’s a movie. A really, really fun movie. And, look, no one’s more surprised at me saying any of this than I am. The last time I saw Michael Bay, it was at an event that Dreamworks threw for THE ISLAND. They showed a chunk of the film and then had a reception afterwards, and I was standing with Mr. Beaks and some other people when Bay walked up to us. “Hey, guys, what’d you think?” he asked, and then he saw me. “Not you. I know you hate me.” That’s not true, but I’ll agree that I don’t like most of Bay’s work. I think THE ROCK is unmercifully stupid, with a script flaw that ruined it for me even before the incomprehensible action did. ARMAGEDDON is just plain lousy, and represents the nadir of Bay’s quick-cut style. PEARL HARBOR reduced a real tragedy to a “cooooool” video-game cut scene, and the disrespect rubbed me the wrong way on every level. When I first met Bay, he had every reason to think I disliked him personally, based on how strident I was in writing about his films. But then something strange happened. BAD BOYS II came out, and I had an unapologetically good time watching it. It’s amoral, grotesque, and excessive, but that’s exactly what it’s trying to be. It made me think of GRAND THEFT AUTO as I watched it, and the action in the film is so insane, so completely cock rock, that I found myself finally enjoying Bay’s work. I think THE ISLAND was a misfire, but not a complete one. There’s stuff in the film that I liked. I don’t think all the pieces work together completely, but it’s a mild disappointment, not an abomination like some of his earlier movies. It seemed to me that Bay was actually honing the style he created, and not just repeating himself over and over. With this film, I walked in with less baggage than many of our talkbackers if only because I’m not a fan of the ‘80s cartoon that is the source material, and I wasn’t judging the film as an adaptation. And before you start calling me a hypocrite, I’m not. I may comment on choices people make in adapting material, but I believe that a film either works as a film, or it does not. I don’t base my reactions completely on whether someone is faithful to the source or not. I think there are things that will always change going from one version of something to another, and all you can hope is that the end result will work for an audience. In many cases, the new version of something is aimed at people who never saw the original, and the people who end up being the most upset about something are those who were hardcore fans the first time around. I’m fairly sure that’s going to be the case here, too. TRANSFORMERS is going to play really well to most audiences, and I expect there will be many people who suddenly find themselves excited about the franchise, ready to see another one. I also think that the one group of people who will be least satisfied will be the hardcore ‘80s fanboys. And I’m not bagging them for the way they’ll feel, either. It’s just that this is not that cartoon. They are totally different, with different characterizations, different dramatic arcs, different mythology at play. And I want to understand the POV of the average TRANSFORMERS fan. Over the last month or so, I’ve been sent various peripheral TRANSFORMERS tie-ins, like IDW’s prequel comic and their official adaptation, as well as the two novels by Alan Dean Foster, GHOSTS OF YESTERDAY and the official novelization. I also co-hosted a screening of the 1986 feature cartoon at Cine-Space in Hollywood, where the crowd obviously had a deep connection to what they were watching. I’ll be honest with you... I thought TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE was a giant piece of shit. As a film, completely independent of whether I’m a fan of the property or not. I think it’s incomprehensible. I think it’s noisy and stupid and doesn’t make a lick of sense. I watched it on DVD and at that screening, and I’m fairly sure that only nostalgia makes that film bearable for anyone over the age of 10. The animation is ugly, the “characters” are nonexistent, and the impact of any deaths in that film could have only been felt by someone already thoroughly immersed in that particular fantasy world. But what I see over and over from fans is an explanation of the dynamics that were important to them. Key friendships among the Autobots or rivalries within the Decepticons. Starscream’s constant desire to ursurp Megatron. Optimus Prime as an ethical role model. These things were obviously key to the connection that fans had to the TV series, and those are the things they want most when they see anything new featuring those characters. My advice for the truly hardcore, the ones who aren’t going to be satisfied by the fireworks of Bay’s film, is to track down Alan Dean Foster’s prequel novel. GHOSTS OF YESTERDAY sets up the mythology of the movie with certain details, but it spends a lot more time with both the Autobots and the Decepticons, and all those dynamics the fans say they want... well, Foster gets them right. All the stuff between Starscream and Blackout is particularly good, and the way Optimus Prime handles his first exposure to humans explains a lot about who he is. The Ark is used in the novel, as is the Nemesis. The centerpiece of the book is a massive space battle between all of the Autobots and Decepticons, one in which their personalities play a major role. Foster’s said that he didn’t know the characters at all until he started working on these two books, but he seems to have captured the essence of what’s made the characters so popular with the fans in a way that I would highly recommend you check out if you’re feeling like the film’s not going to do it for you. The IDW comics are less satisfying overall. Their prequel comic basically just explains things that the film explains without really adding anything, and their adaptation suffers from the same problem most comic adaptations face... they can’t begin to duplicate the visceral impact of the film itself. So like I said... I’ve tried to understand the rabid fandom, and even though I think there were some interesting notions in some of what I read or watched, nothing grabbed me. So when I walked into the film last Thursday at the Paramount, I had pretty much no expectations one way or another. All I wanted was something good. And, no, I’m not a proponent of “turn your brain off and you’ll enjoy it” as a way of approaching films. Never have been. I don’t believe in that at all. I don’t have guilty pleasures. I don’t think films are “so bad they’re good.” When I recommend a film, it’s because I genuinely think it delivers on its promise, and in the case of TRANSFORMERS, I think Michael Bay has finally found a perfect fit for his sensibilities. He’s made his most entertaining film, aided in large part by his cast, and I’m confident that audiences are going to go back to this one several times, all summer long, because they’re going to need to see it more than once to fully absorb. It’s not the greatest action movie of all time, but it’s certainly the best sci-fi action movie in a while. It’s outrageous, but it has a real sense of wonder, one of the things that’s missing from so much of the big CGI lightshows released these days. I may be impressed by FX work in many films, but not many people feel comfortable slowing things down for that moment of “Holy shit” awe anymore. It’s one of the tricks to getting this sort of thing right, and so is tone. TRANSFORMERS plays rough, but it keeps things just light enough. I think if they err, they err on the side of comedy, but enough of the movie is genuinely funny that I can appreciate the choice. The closest experience I can compare this to is JURASSIC PARK. I remember the first time I saw that, in the Alfred Hitchcock Theater on the Universal lot, with a theater made up entirely of tour guides. It was still a few weeks away from release, and all of us had been on the lot during the production of the film. We didn’t know what to expect. We’d snuck onto soundstages and seen the dinosaurs, but seeing the Winston creatures live and then seeing the way they blended with the ILM work in the film were two very different experiences. I didn’t think much of the movie as a whole, but that 30 minutes or so in the middle... the T-Rex attack sequence... was such an amazing experience, so physical, that the temperature in the theater actually went up as the sequence played out. And I went back several times that summer to see it again with new crowds, and every time, the same thing happened. People were pinned to their seats to such a degree that the rest of the film didn’t matter. While I don’t think there’s any one sequence in TRANSFORMERS that quite reaches the visceral power of the T-Rex sequence, I think the film as a whole works better than JURASSIC PARK did. For one thing, the robots are in a lot of the movie, and they inhabit a physical space as well as Davy Jones or Gollum did, completely real. You stop thinking of them as effects and start thinking of them as characters, and that’s the film’s biggest victory. They may not be the exact same characters some of you grew up with, and that may make it impossible for you to enjoy the film, but they are definitely characters. Optimus Prime and Bumblebee are the ones who get the most screentime, the most definition, and Shia LaBeouf has to interact with them for the majority of the running time. He definitely deserves whatever rewards Spielberg wants to heap on him, because he makes you believe that he’s interacting with living creatures. In JURASSIC PARK, it was Jeff Goldblum who carried that burden the most, and he’s the one who made it possible for the audience to believe what they were watching. Here, LaBeouf and Megan Fox are the ones who spend the whole film interacting with the robots, with the rest of the cast sort of dropping in and out from scene to scene. And, yes, Megan Fox is an unreasonably hot li’l thang, but I think she’s also got a genuine charm that makes her approachable. I’d like to see what she can do in a film that’s not just about running and baring her midriff. Still, she seems like she’s in on the joke, and that makes all the difference. In fact, I think that sums up what makes this film work for me in a way that Bay’s other films don’t: he finally feels like he’s in on the joke. He seems like he’s loosened up here, like the signatures of his style are more for fun here than they are because he takes them seriously. There’s a moment midway through the movie, when the various Transformers are all crashing to Earth in response to Bumblebee’s signal, and a couple of kids go running towards one of the crash sites. One of them turns to the other and, huge smile on his face, yells, “Oh, man, this is, like... a hundred times cooler than ARMAGEDDON!” And, y’know what? It is. It’s cooler, it’s bigger, and it’s fun in a way that his earlier films aren’t. There are a lot of people who show up in this film, characters who may only show up for a scene or two, and not all of them work. The uber-hot Rachael Taylor is flat-out awful as a computer genius who figures out an important part of the film’s exposition. Jon Voight’s performance is a dud, and part of that is the role itself. Making the Secretary of Defense into the action hero of the film might work at another point in time, but all I could think as I watched was how ludicrous it would be if Donald Rumsfeld were thrust into these circumstances. And considering Dubya makes a semi-cameo in the film, that’s not a huge stretch on my part. But having said that, those performances or those choices don’t derail the film for me. And it’s not a case of forgiving them, either. It’s just that there are so many other performances and choices that do work. Kevin Dunn and Julie White play the parents of Sam (LaBeouf), and they come up with gold pretty much every time the film relies on them as comic relief, White in particular. John Turturro takes a fairly standard role as “the government agent” and invests it with a sort of quiet lunacy. Even Bernie Mac and Anthony Anderson take stock comic relief roles on the page and invest them with just the right energy to make them play. Josh Duhamel and Tyrese don’t have much “acting” to do, but they’re credible in the action scenes, and they help ground it in a recognizable reality. One of the things that Bay brings to the table is his relationship with the US military. They don’t just hand out access to the Pentagon or offer up state-of-the-art hardware to any filmmaker who asks, but with Bay, they know he’ll shoot it like porn, making every machine sexy. The way he features the gear in this movie (including the Transformers themselves), it’s like watching TOP GUN if Tom Cruise played the jet. He knows exactly what he’s doing here, and I’m puzzled by anyone who criticizes the big set pieces in this one. I’ve certainly complained about his cutting style before, but I think he’s listened to that criticism, and this time out, there’s a sense of geography and clarity that seems brand new. Just take that first scene as an example, where Blackout lands on the military base in Qatar, transforms from a helicopter to a giant fucking robot, and then starts marching around kicking unholy ass while looking for the base’s server. The scene’s got everything it should have: a sense of scale, of danger, and he’s careful to make sure that it builds. It’s not just “Bayhem,” as one of the reader reviews the other day said. Instead, there’s a purpose to the sequence, and it’s not just excess for the sake of it. Bay takes his time in this film, building to the real full-scale stuff that makes up act three, and that also seems new. He doesn’t just throw in stunts for no purpose. He actually constructs his gags with some genuine visual wit. I’m not sure what happened... maybe Spielberg had some influence on him, or maybe it was the material, or maybe he’s just built up enough experience as a filmmaker that he’s starting to see his films as full-length narratives instead of just a collection of thirty-second moments. Here, he finally feels like he’s not making a commercial. I wish the script by Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman were a little more focused and quick-witted. The MacGuffin they use (a pair of glasses with some sort of technical plans etched onto the lenses) is sort of retarded, but again... the film almost seems to be aware of it. It’s hard not to laugh out loud when Sam incredulously asks Optimus Prime how they found him and this intergalactic warrior answers, as seriously as he can, “eBay.” They gloss over the most improbable moments, and they keep things moving at all times. If this was just a little smarter, a little less based on coincidence and convenience, this would be on par with some of the best work of action cinema. As it is, it’s like the best fast food meal you’ve ever eaten, genuinely tasty and filling even if it’s not quite nutritious. I know I’ll be seeing it at least one more time theatrically, probably so I can take my wife back to see it, and I’m looking forward to seeing if they fulfill the promise of the film’s final few images. For now, consider me finally converted. I can honestly say that, for the first time, I dig TRANSFORMERS. This version’s convinced me, and if it manages to alienate the fans who have been waiting for this since childhood, that’s a shame. But I think there will be plenty of new fans who replace them, and I think I’m one of them.

Drew McWeeny, Los Angeles

Readers Talkback
comments powered by Disqus
    + Expand All
  • July 2, 2007, 6:02 a.m. CST

    Here we go...

    by Pawprint

    Eyes down, look in!

  • July 2, 2007, 6:08 a.m. CST

    Well Now....

    by Pawprint

    The words of one of the more respected reviewers on this site...<p> "It’s good. And that’s not saying “there are good parts in it,” either. I think as a movie, it knows exactly what it’s doing, it does it well, and it manages to avoid the mistakes that a lot of similar recent movies have made. This is not INDEPENDENCE DAY. This is not GODZILLA. I think this movie can only be a good thing for the world of TRANSFORMERS. I think this movie makes it a much larger cultural icon than it’s ever been before. This is not a toy commercial... and don’t get me wrong... it’s not a film, either. It’s a movie. A really, really fun movie."<p> and<p> "And, no, I’m not a proponent of “turn your brain off and you’ll enjoy it” as a way of approaching films. Never have been.... When I recommend a film, it’s because I genuinely think it delivers on its promise, and in the case of TRANSFORMERS, I think Michael Bay has finally found a perfect fit for his sensibilities."<p> Memories of Murder, BadMrWonka - fine if you don't want to see it; just please stop telling the rest of us why we shouldn't, and why we're stupid because we do.<p> Oh, and close the door on your way out please.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:08 a.m. CST


    by Pawprint


  • July 2, 2007, 6:09 a.m. CST

    TF:The Movie is shit yet TINO isn't?

    by photoboy

    Hah hahaha hahaha aha! How much is Bay paying this site again? I mean seriously, couldn't AICN have made it a bit more subtle? Calling TF:The Movie shit is not the right way to build credibility when reviewing a Transformers film.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:10 a.m. CST

    "The Rock" script flaw?

    by iamthomas

    Could you please elaborate? Thank you.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:12 a.m. CST

    Happily, IAmThomas...

    by drew mcweeny

    The first act of THE ROCK is spent establishing that Nic Cage is a chemical weapons expert with little or no field training. He's not good with a gun. He's not a race car driver. He's a guy who knows how to handle dangerous chemicals. <P>So of course, they send him on a mission where he steals guidance chips from rockets, has gunfights, drives car chases, and never once has to actually deal with the dangerous chemicals or do anything to defuse them. <P>It's just stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, and it betrays the reality it sets up as soon as it finishes setting it up.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:13 a.m. CST

    good review

    by GarySparkle

    im actually looking forward to seeing this, strange as that may seem.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:14 a.m. CST


    by drew mcweeny

    ... I don't owe Bay anything, and I'm hardly the one you can point to as a Bay apologist. Speaking as someone who just watches these things as movies, and not as someone who spent their childhood glued to the TV and buying the toys... yes. I think TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE is a giant piece of shit. I think it's terrible. I think it is downright painful to sit through. <P>And I don't care if you think that's "credible" or not. Again... those nostalgia goggles do funny things to us all at times.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:15 a.m. CST


    by Zappary

    Great review Moriarty, sums it up perfectly. The movie rocks, people. Bitter fanboys can go suck it.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:16 a.m. CST

    An interesting, thoughtful review..

    by UltraMeerkat

    I'm perplexed by the venomous hatred of the fanboys that lurk around these parts. It's so sad they lack any sense of proportion, or relativity. My god, if that lot react like this to a piece of entertainment, how must they react to something important, like real life?

  • July 2, 2007, 6:17 a.m. CST

    Still won't be as good as Simon Furman's Marvel Comics

    by darthflagg

    You really should read those if you haven't, Mori. Especially stories like Target 2006. They have the depth and characterisation that you found lacking in the original cartoon and movie. And which I'm sure will be lacking from Bay's film. Still, I'm excited to see it for what it sounds like, a big dumb exciting CGI fest.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:19 a.m. CST



    Ive seen this film 3 days now and Its been thrilling everytime. The special effects are amaing, the humor works, Shia was great. loved Optimus's herois speeches. You dont cringe at the cheesy moments, you embrace the for how they bring back the joy and thrill of what Transformers was. Michale Bay knocked this one out of the park. Even the people who go in wanting to hat this are going to love it. The best sci fi action Ive seen since Terminator 2, and the first time Ive experienced a true sense of awe and joy at a movie since Lord of the rings finished. This movies going to be huge.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:20 a.m. CST


    by drew mcweeny

    ... that's what I hear. And it wouldn't surprise me. As I said, the best characterization in any of the stuff I've encountered this month was in Foster's prequel book, where he was able to really spend time with the robots. I would imagine the comic could do that well, too.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:22 a.m. CST

    Ah... the old "Sell-out" argument...

    by Pawprint

    The perrenial fall-back position of the true, blinkered 'hater'.<p> I just can't understand it. Films were created to ENTERTAIN; in all manner of ways, and yes, there are films out there that don't. 90% of the reviews of this film are saying - and agreeing - that this film delivers pure entertainment, and warrants repeat viewing - for its entertainment value (not to try and work out what's happening!).<p> What is wrong with people these days? Some people seem to be expecting so much more than ANY film can deliver.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:22 a.m. CST

    Michael Bay on The Criterion Collection

    by iamthomas

    Dear Michael Bay haters, I´ve given up trying to understand why there´s so much hate when it comes to Michael Bay. Just a thought: Two of his works are represented by the Criterion Collection, "a continuing series of important classic and contemporary films". So next to our Bergman, Fellini and Kurosawa we got our Bay. Why´s that if he´s such a hack? Best regards Thomas

  • July 2, 2007, 6:24 a.m. CST

    Mori...(re: geography)

    by Tubbs Tattsyrup

    The final half-hour (in the city) is the most incomprehensible action I've seen in years. Megatron is two FEET behind Shia yet Shia manages to get to the top of the building a couple minutes ahead of Megatron? We can't see which robots are which. We don't get much of an Optimus-Megatron battle. It's totally horrible. What happened to Vendatron, anyway?... "Get to the building, Sam!" - why that building and where the fuck was it?) ...still, the transformations made it all worth it for me. I loved the first one and a half hours. The city sequence killed it. BUT then, Optimus's speech brought it back. Liked the movie but really, that sequence should've been much more...uh...good.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:25 a.m. CST

    You've got the touch!

    by Zappary

    Really, the only good thing about 1986 movie was the CRAZY AWESOME 80s music. You've got the powaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

  • July 2, 2007, 6:26 a.m. CST

    Ebert gave it three stars.

    by Nordling

    Good review, too.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:27 a.m. CST


    by darwinwins

    i've seen it twice now. the movie lost none of its charm and i came to the realization that you actually know what's going on with the action because the cuts aren't as quick -- he takes his time shooting the scenes and editing them.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:27 a.m. CST

    That was a good review.

    by PwnedByStallone

    Well done Moriarty. Nicely balanced. It's just nice to get an actual review of this film finally. One thing though. how much effort is made to cover Megan Fox's dumb ink?

  • July 2, 2007, 6:30 a.m. CST



    The Robots are up there with Davy Jones, King Kong and Gollum as the most beleivable and incredible CG creations ever. A huge bunch of you will be dissing this movie before youve even seen it. Within the first 20 seconds of the opening sequence youll have a geek grin a mile wide about how cool the movie your about too see is. Transformers is the highlight of this year, weve got the dark knight next year then hopefully a Transformer sequel for 2009. If Bay didnt direct this, and Cameron wasnt available seriously who could have done it better? This film shows just how great at action bay is. He got the humor and tone brillant too. This reminded me of the hey day of 80s flicks like Back to the future.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:30 a.m. CST


    by drew mcweeny

    ... she's sort of wholesome and cute in the film. They cover the ink up completely. It's only in real life that she's all sleazy-stripper-hot.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:31 a.m. CST


    by Romoehlio

    there you go...

  • July 2, 2007, 6:32 a.m. CST

    RE: "The Rock" script flaw

    by iamthomas

    Dear Moriarty, But it´s never established he´s NOT a car nut, he´s pretty clumsy with a gun (he only has one gun fight as far as I can remember), he does diffuse chemical weapons in the infirmary (I guess his training includes knowing what and where guidance chips are) Best. Thomas

  • July 2, 2007, 6:32 a.m. CST


    by tile_mcgillus

    "As it is, it’s like the best fast food meal you’ve ever eaten, genuinely tasty and filling even if it’s not quite nutritious. "<p> I can't eat fast food anymore. Kills my tummy. Same with saccrin popcorn movies. However, if it worked for you. Congrats. I'll be sitting this one out for a while.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:38 a.m. CST

    If He Can...

    by drew mcweeny

    ... make a jump in quality akin to what Cameron did from TERMINATOR to TERMINATOR 2, then I'd be all for Bay giving us another TRANSFORMERS film. Absolutely. Keep the same producers on, make sure the same checks and balances are in place, and push the writers harder, and it could be great.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:39 a.m. CST



    Id love to know what Bruckheimer thinks of this movie.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:40 a.m. CST

    Tubbs, "2 feet" maybe it was a camera trick like in ET

    by Mace Tofu

    when it looked like the MOON was right behind ET & Elliott even though it was 1000's of miles away. Long zoom? Anyway I'll read everyone's bitchin' and see if it's warranted when I catch the movie later this week.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:41 a.m. CST

    Reviews all round are surprisingly positive

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Even the language-manglingly awful review in Empire said it was good. I'm pretty surprised by the reactions, and that's good because I'm going to see this no matter what. Not because I like Bay (I don't) or because I give a stuff about some stupid cartoon from the eighties (I don't), but because I spend way too much time here at AICN and I have been brainwashed. Brainwashed!<p>Also, I am hoping I might meet MCMLXXVI there.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:43 a.m. CST



    Id love to see how they can get action bigger in the sequel. We had action at a military base, on the roads, in the sky, in the desert, the city streets, carparks, power stations, dams. What can they do to up the ante of not just having more robots transforming and fighting in the streets.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:51 a.m. CST

    Nice review, mate

    by Col. Tigh-Fighter

    But a bit more love of Jurassic, please! I think its one of the best movies ever made, including annoying kids. I totally agree about the T Rex scenes, but the rest of the movie rocks too. Only the Berg would electocute a kid, and the Raptors stalking the kids on the kitchen is just as exciting as the T Rex stuff. <p> Still, coll review.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:52 a.m. CST


    by Boba Fat

    Where are you?

  • July 2, 2007, 6:57 a.m. CST

    Empire blows. If they liked it I can guarantee I wont

    by Lost Prophet

    HAving said that Mori's review has it still heavily in the rental and watch with shit load of beer pile. <p>BTW Mori has consistently for the last year said he hated the 86 film. It's not a new thing.

  • July 2, 2007, 7 a.m. CST

    “a hundred times cooler than ARMAGEDDON!”

    by Lost Prophet

    is still shit. <p>Hey Yack, glad you enjoyed it but I can't get over that script. <p>Any news on the MAN CATS?

  • July 2, 2007, 7:01 a.m. CST

    Not At All, LostProphet

    by drew mcweeny

    I was a theater projectionist when the '86 film came out, and I sat through it then, mystified by what anyone saw in it. I watched it again this year giving it a fresh chance to work as a movie, and I still think it's dreadful. Oh, well.

  • July 2, 2007, 7:03 a.m. CST

    Prequel Novel

    by vampirepacman

    ..Isn't it "Ghosts of Yesterday", not "Ghosts of Tomorrow." Eh, who cares...

  • July 2, 2007, 7:05 a.m. CST

    I know. I was saying you've hated it for ages

    by Lost Prophet

    It's just I only remember seeing that you hated it about a year ago. MAybe after you watched it. <p>Am confusing myself now.

  • July 2, 2007, 7:09 a.m. CST

    Yeah, that was a good review.

    by Discosis

    Nice one Mori. Honest and forthright. Your feelings match mine - it's not perfect but it's a heck of a spectacle. I had a great time with it. And I've been buying (some of) the toys for years :) ... now why did we get it in Australia a week earlier than the US? (Not complaining)

  • July 2, 2007, 7:10 a.m. CST


    by drew mcweeny

    Nice catch. I got that wrong, and just went back to correct it. Thanks.

  • July 2, 2007, 7:14 a.m. CST

    "in on the joke" summed it up well, great review

    by couP

  • July 2, 2007, 7:16 a.m. CST

    I did read your review

    by Lost Prophet

    and I understand what you were saying. Hell this might end up in my drunken film pile (along with Flash Gordon, pirhana, Dog Soldiers etc) but I just wince at some of the "jokes". <p>I shouldn't have read the script because I have no attachment to TF. <p>Alternatively, summer 2010- BOY KATZ with adolescent man kat as he struggles to come to terms with growing hair in funny places. Soundtrack by Mcfly. Love interest to be played by 30 something actress Alison Hannygan(sp?) as she fakes being a 14 year old girl. Again. Directed by the Wayans brothers

  • July 2, 2007, 7:17 a.m. CST

    Spidey 3 was crap

    by Lost Prophet

    no excuses for that. Almost as bad as SR.

  • July 2, 2007, 7:19 a.m. CST


    by Discosis

    ... the jokes work far better on screen than they do on the page. The audience I saw it with was often laughing (*seriously* loud, too) before a line was even uttered.

  • July 2, 2007, 7:20 a.m. CST

    Upping the action for a Sequel

    by vampirepacman

    For the Sequel they move the action to space! And for the third one, they fight on the edge of a black hole (created after Starscream accidentally divides by zero) and fall into a parallel universe! And for the 4th they go to Hell, where they crossover with the Ghostbusters! Just wait till you see Slimer take on Starscream's Ghost!

  • July 2, 2007, 7:30 a.m. CST


    by Daniel_Ackbar

    Good work Mori. Some sense at last. A good well thought out review by someone who has seen the film.

  • July 2, 2007, 7:32 a.m. CST


    by Vicenzo

    What's the script flaw in The Rock you are talking about?

  • July 2, 2007, 7:34 a.m. CST

    Sorry you already explained it.

    by Vicenzo


  • July 2, 2007, 7:34 a.m. CST

    give JLA to Bay, sounds like he's ready

    by pipergates

    Give him the right script & Bay could make superhero action so brutal & beautiful. His style of focusing on the kinetic energy of the action and stylizing and shading his shots is exactly what Superman sorely lacked.

  • July 2, 2007, 7:37 a.m. CST

    Moriarty, thanks for the review

    by SeanPerna

    I've seen the movie twice and as a huge fan of the source material, I'm very surprised by how FAITHFUL the movie is to its origins. There are references scattered throughout, and it kept the audience applauding from start to end. Even when they invent something new, they base it on existing material. I caught a lot more of the stuff on second viewing, and it clearly shows G1 fans have been involved in the production. TRANSFORMERS is easily more in tune with its origins than a great deal of other comic-based movies, and I'm saying that as a die-hard fan in the presence of the original Prime, Starscream and Jazz in their G1 packaging! Most of the plot holes are either unimportant or can be explained away. My major gripe is the music, which came across super bland to me. Not bad, just boring, uninvolving.

  • July 2, 2007, 7:39 a.m. CST

    Mace Tofu

    by Tubbs Tattsyrup

    It's not a long-lens trick. Seriously, you've got Shia running along inside a building with Megatron knocking the shit out of the floor right behind him from underneath. Shia is JUST out of reach. Then he gets to a staircase. Looks up the 50-odd floors. Two minutes later, he's at the top of the building, and Mega is not there yet. WTF??

  • July 2, 2007, 7:42 a.m. CST

    the worrying thing about these MAN CATS spinoffs

    by Lost Prophet

    is that they are all too feasible. <p>Also coming soon- BIG MAN CAT: 12 semi retarded man cats are locked in a house, made to perform asinine tasks and behave like cretins. Catnip will be supplied regularly to ensure arguments and (hopefully) drunken tabby sex. One will be voted off each week by the audience. Produced by endemol to be aired on Sky1 (or Fox in America).<p>On transformers, I do understand that they are probably less vomit inducing on the screen, but all I will be able to think of is "oh, shit here comes (x bad joke)". MY own fault really and I have (or should have) learnt a valuable lesson about reading scripts. I also hate Bay films.

  • July 2, 2007, 7:51 a.m. CST

    I still think you're overreacting

    by Vicenzo

    The car chase makes the Mason character less believable. He hasn't been in a car for 30 years yet he drives the Humvee like there's no tomorrow. I liked how the Stanley Goodspeed character was handled. He's FBI. He's had three weeks weapons training. He knows how to fire a gun, but he's hesitant to do so, and this shows in the only scene where he fires a weapon -- in order to save Mason's life. He doesn't engage in a gunfight once, as you wrongly stated. Then there's the chemicals. He diffuses all but two rockets just before he's almost killed. The job he was hired to do. One is fired into the ocean. The last one is diffused by Goodspeed in the lighthouse. I can't see any flaw in the character except the unexpected Ferrari driving skills. Yet the scene is so much fun that I'll happily suspend disbelief.

  • July 2, 2007, 7:58 a.m. CST

    Just preaching to the choir

    by Omar B

    Just preaching to the choir man, my girlfriend and I have been waiting for this for months and it's finally here! I must admit when the first reviews started rolling in I got concerned about the supposedly unintelligeble story I got the prequel novel and the novelization just to make sure there's nothing I am not totally clear on.

  • July 2, 2007, 8:13 a.m. CST

    might do that.

    by Lost Prophet

    But it could get me divorced as the wife thinks this is an utter anathema and symbolic of the decline of western civilisation.

  • July 2, 2007, 8:16 a.m. CST

    T2? The Matrix? STAR WARS?!!!!!

    by lost.rules

    Come on! It's not that good. It's just visually arresting. I remember when ID4 came out, and everybody OOOhhhh and AWWWEEEEEDDD at that. I don't think it will be remembered as a classic. Just stupid fun.

  • July 2, 2007, 8:21 a.m. CST

    "This is 100 times better than Armageddon."

    by lost.rules

    That's not saying much.

  • July 2, 2007, 8:25 a.m. CST

    "This is 100 times better than eating shit from a can."

    by kikuchiyoboy

    Hee hee. Can't wait. Sounds like a big fun movie.

  • July 2, 2007, 8:32 a.m. CST

    Roger Ebert gave it Three Stars

    by lost.rules

    It's actually a really funny, and great review. Be seeing this tommorrow.

  • July 2, 2007, 8:48 a.m. CST

    Good review, but then Mori has to go and...

    by dead youngling

    hurt my feelings by saying the 1986er was shite. That movie was just a bridge to end the old generation and begin a new one.

  • July 2, 2007, 8:54 a.m. CST

    dammit i have to wait weeks for this

    by Mr_X

    but thank god this summer is not a complete washout. thanks mori for the review, it kicks all the haters into place. all the threads we've had about the movie it was the same old shit with these guys. they hated it with a venom before they actually saw it and complained about the raping of their childhood just because they read the script. <p> it was so god damm annoying not being able to enjoy the hype without a running battle on why it was gonna be shit. i always had faith that it was going to be the blockbuster of 2007. thanks</p> <p> and to the haters.... you're flogging a dead horse, time to run with your tail between your legs </p>

  • July 2, 2007, 8:55 a.m. CST

    Yeah, the 86 movie depends on whether you watched the

    by chrth

    show. Didn't watch the show? No point to watching the movie. Loved the show? The movie was f'ing awesome.<p> ARISE RODIMUS PRIME!

  • July 2, 2007, 9:02 a.m. CST

    Transformers just got 4 * out of 4 in the local paper

    by The Decider

    They must've been bought off too.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:03 a.m. CST

    *** Buy your tickets early! This flick will open HUGE.

    by JDanielP

    I... can't... wait! And my bucket of popcorn is going to be as HUGE as this movie.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:04 a.m. CST

    MCMLXXVI is gonna have an Anton Ego moment.

    by kikuchiyoboy

    "There is joy in my life again"

  • July 2, 2007, 9:07 a.m. CST

    Glasgow gets bombed yet no Orange Homeland Security

    by BringingSexyBack

    Alert? Just goes to show you how fucking evil the Bush Administration was when they were ringing the alert button every other week prior to the 2004 election. What a bunch of treasonous cocksuckers.<p>Back on topic, Transformers sounds like fun. I'm waving the white flag and will go see it Thursday. With my Die Hard ticket though ...

  • July 2, 2007, 9:09 a.m. CST

    Just got my tickets for the 8

    by kikuchiyoboy

    Man oh man. It's been a while I've been scared to death of a movie, but at the same time excited. <br> <br> Ever since Phantom Menace and Reloaded it's hard to go in to a movie thinking it's just gonna rock.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:10 a.m. CST

    "My review will up later today" (translation)

    by ShallowGrave

    Gotta wait to see what the other critics are saying on rottentomatoes before I go out on a limb and give it a positive review

  • July 2, 2007, 9:12 a.m. CST

    Peter Jackson for JLA. Michael Bay not a bad "plan B".

    by JDanielP

    And everybody should know that there is NO WAY IN HELL that the WB are going to have AMERICA in the JUSTICE LEAGUE title, unless they chose "JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA" ...ONLY...for the USA release. Internationally, it will be "JUSTICE LEAGUE". Count on it. And I called it when the project was first announced.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:14 a.m. CST

    Ebert said he would've given it Four Stars

    by lost.rules

    But he said they drag out the fight between Optimus and Megatron for too long, and that the movie should've been twenty minutes shorter.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:18 a.m. CST

    no one was paid off...

    by Reynard Muldrake

    sure, some of you may think that the reviews are a little TOO positive, but if that's the case, it's the added relief reviewers have after the shit overstuffed nonsensical letdowns of the other "proven" franchises this summer - spidey and pirates - so they're adding a little whipped cream to their completely authentic enjoyment of a well done and fun Transformers flick. so shuttup already.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:19 a.m. CST

    Actually, Bay would be great for JLA

    by BringingSexyBack

    JLA can't be a serious movie like Superman or Batman. It should be an over-the-top ensemble movie, and that's right up Bay's alley.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:23 a.m. CST

    Joel Siegel died?

    by PwnedByStallone


  • July 2, 2007, 9:26 a.m. CST

    Optimus (Major Spoiler Alert)

    by lost.rules

    Don't read the New York Times review, if you don't want the ending ruined for you. I'll just tell you that they didn't like it.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:32 a.m. CST


    by JaySmack

    "It’s just that this is not that cartoon. They are totally different, with different characterizations, different dramatic arcs, different mythology at play." So in other words, it's NOT Transformers. Which begs the question, why not just call it something else? Bionicle perhaps, because that's what it look like. This site is run by studio Plants and tools. Shameless.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:32 a.m. CST

    One RT review wrote, "Better than Sex." to describe it

    by lost.rules

    Obviously, he's never had sex before.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:34 a.m. CST

    To the Brits: Your Homeland Secretary Jacqui Smith

    by BringingSexyBack

    has some big tits.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:35 a.m. CST

    Zombie ... it's at 70% Fresh, not 99%

    by BringingSexyBack

    That means it's passable. But in a year with POTC3 and Spidey 3, it might as well be Oscar-worthy.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:37 a.m. CST

    she's also corrupt, useless and pig ugly

    by Lost Prophet

    big tits are not the be-all and end all

  • July 2, 2007, 9:39 a.m. CST

    basically, the point is is that

    by Lost Prophet

    It is a pretty kick ass action film. <p>flawed, but kick ass- just not a lot to do with Transformers. <p>Am I correct?

  • July 2, 2007, 9:39 a.m. CST

    Is it true

    by Leopold Scotch

    that this doesn't come out in the UK til July 27th, and Ratatouille doesn't arrive til fuckin October? If so, I'm extremely annoyed and demand an explanation.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:40 a.m. CST

    Good Honest Review

    by ck37

    Have seen the film twice in the past week, Came out in Singapore on the 28th. I think I will sum it up this way, Bay said he had a 150 million to work with here. I bet he used every dime. The CGI Is astounding but I would love to see what he could do with a budget like Spiderman 3 or pirates. I think at the end of the day A larger budget dedicated to CGI would allow a more fleshed out story among the Autobots and Decepticons.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:43 a.m. CST

    I'm predicting 3,000 posts for this TB

    by lost.rules

    Maybe less if Harry posts a review. But who cares what he thinks? If the movie had been Micahel Bay sitting on a toilet taking a shit, he'd be telling you it was the greatest thing ever.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:51 a.m. CST

    "If this was just a little

    by JaySmack

    "If this was just a little smarter, a little less based on coincidence and convenience, this would be on par with some of the best work of action cinema." you just got through spending over 15,000 words explaining this pile of CGI-laden dogshit, but you think all it needs a "little" work? The Rock didn't need a little work, did it? How about Pearl Harbor. If you really thing this movie is Transformers, then why did you spend over eight pages of webspace trying to explain how it is? Shouldn't it be obvious this is Transformers? Kiss Bay's ass all you want he's never gog to let you be in one of his movies Mori. This film is shit, and you know it. It will only appeal to retards and "Turn off your brain at the front door" types who appreciate SFX, and nothing else. This movie has exposed why so many movie bloggers are dumb as rocks, and perceptive as a retarded goat. "This version’s convinced me, and if it manages to alienate the fans who have been waiting for this since childhood, that’s a shame. But I think there will be plenty of new fans who replace them." Only if they're as retarded as you. This movie has only ONE thing going for it, it's NAME! If this movie was named anything other than Transformers (which it should be, this is NOT Transformers) we wouldn't even be talking about it. And that "new fans will replace the old ones," bullshit. Oh, is that why so many of these remakes have crashed and burned at the box-office? You're a retarded tool who likes CGI, and as long as the SFX are flashy you'd be drooling over it regardless. You don't know what you're talking about. So STFU! The G1 fans are the reason a movie has even been made, why the frnachise has endured so long. You don't see them making a Beast Wars movie or a Beast Machines movie, do you? Moriarty is a plant, and this site exists to pimp shitty studio flicks in exchange for free swag and a couple of preview screenings.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:53 a.m. CST

    Trancefarmers: The Movie - for Mori

    by ye olde shiza

    Great stuff, Zombie Solutions. And Moriarty ... just look at all of ZS's posts. The reason people like Transformers: The Movie, or at least the reason I like it, is because it's totally ridiculous! The Eric Idle robot who owns a planet full of trash? Sharkticons? Ba weep grah nah weep ninny bong. The kickin' 80s soundtrack helps. I mean, the movie's just beggin' to be up there with other cult classics like Blood and Donuts, Redneck Zombies, Wham Bam Thank You Space Man, and Petey Wheatstraw.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:58 a.m. CST


    by Kevin

    Great review.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Yeah, if Bay was given just 20 mil more

    by kikuchiyoboy

    he could have made 20 Citizen Kanes wrapped in a giant robot movie. =)

  • July 2, 2007, 10:01 a.m. CST

    I am by no means...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...a Michael Bay fan. Nor am I a Michael Bay hater. As for the Transformers, they leave me cold. I felt nothing for the cartoon show other than disdain, and like Mori, I think the 1986 movie is mind-bogglingly awful. <p> Do I respect the fanboys' views on the subject? Not really. At least no more than I respect trekkies or furry porn fans. I know this is probably "bad" of me, objectively speaking, but I can't help it. There's just something so endlessly obnoxious about how some of the worst ones have been carrying on here for months. At first I didn't really care, but the more I read of their posts the more I wanted them to be disappointed, because I find the apoplectic rage of fanboys denied to be very funny. <p> If it's any consolation, I find the fury of fanboys who fanatically defend geek properties which I personally enjoy to be equally hilarious. <p> So far, I have heard nothing which has lessened my interest in the film. If anything, Mori's review has even piqued my desire to see it.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:02 a.m. CST


    by Lost Prophet

    yes, but Troma films (Redneck Zombies) are deliberately bad. TINO is an OK action movie (from all accounts) with some flaws. <p>Not the same at all.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:06 a.m. CST

    Doc P

    by Lost Prophet

    that's the thing. I have no attachment to TF either way, but I hated that script with a passion, generally despise Bay films, and thought Murphy's nervous breakdown was apalling. I did think that row about Optimus being a true American hero was ridiculous, and I also thought apologists arguments about why it was going to be great were puerile to say the least. <p>However, Yack & Messi's damascene conversion has actually piqued some interest and Mori's review cemented it. It sounds like it might actually be worth watching with a few beers for a laugh.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:10 a.m. CST

    The 86 movie was...

    by lost.rules


  • July 2, 2007, 10:12 a.m. CST

    Lost Prophet: "just not a

    by SeanPerna

    Lost Prophet: "just not a lot to do with Transformers"? Don't know who said that. It's transformers through and through.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:13 a.m. CST

    I think either Messi or Yack did

    by Lost Prophet

    forgotten. Sorry. If that is the case then I stand corrected.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:17 a.m. CST

    Moriarty. I said "Bayhem"

    by messi

    but i got it from someone else here. But i didn't mean that in the chaotic sense, I meant it more humourously. The blackout scene is perfectly directed, the pacing and cutting is just right with the music, and that shot where skorponok pops from blackout's back is pure love. But that long shot of blackout just destroying everything is what blew the fuck out of everyone.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:17 a.m. CST

    Lost Prophet

    by BendersShinyAss

    Dude, there are moments in this film that are straight out of those first glorius episodes. Standing on the hoover damn, the robots blasting power stations. Workers and general screaming running people. The tag along kids - who actually have a legit story reason for being where they are. And when those autobots are driving through the desert... oh man.... that was transformers reality. Not to mention the actual transforming- that shit is outragously cool. blocky transformers? bahahahahaha!

  • July 2, 2007, 10:18 a.m. CST

    This reminds me of the scene from Clerks 2

    by lost.rules

    Randall was right. The cartoon was shitty. HAHA! G1 lovers can SUCK IT!

  • July 2, 2007, 10:19 a.m. CST

    Fair Enough

    by Lost Prophet

    I stand corrected. Wish I could remember where I read that now.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:20 a.m. CST

    not to mention Jazz does the same thing to brawl

    by messi

    as Kup in the animated movie with blitzwing.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:22 a.m. CST

    Mori was oh so right...

    by blindedbythelies

    ...about those nostalgia goggles. I loved Transformers: The Movie when I was a kid, which of course got me to buy the movie on VHS a few years ago (it was a few years ago ok. Relax!). Damn it was bad. Having said that though: BAH WEEP GRAH NAH WEEP NINNY BONG!!!

  • July 2, 2007, 10:27 a.m. CST

    It's funny...

    by SeanPerna

    There are three camps of haters for this movie: Those that expect it to be "Citizen Kane", those that expect it to be "Transformers: The movie(1986)", and those that go off on some political tangent about toy and car commercials as if that's at all relevant. The rest of us have fun and enjoy TRANSFORMERS this summer.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:27 a.m. CST

    BendersShinyAss blocky wouldn't work?

    by messi

    watch this.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:29 a.m. CST

    I'm sick of this (SeanPerna)

    by Lost Prophet

    For the millionth fucking time: <p>WE DON'T EXPECT IT TO BE CITIZEN FUCKING KANE <p>The script (tht I admit was a mistake to read) was sub-retard level. Messi says that it is mostly gone now.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:32 a.m. CST


    by messi

    they were aerialbots and they transformed into SUPERION! and Superion actually beat the crap out of Devastator.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:36 a.m. CST

    Lost Prophet

    by SeanPerna

    hold the f-bombs, I didn't direct that post at you. I read the script today. It's god-awful and has been changed extensively for the movie. Plus most of the rumors of how crappy things were going to be turned out to be unfounded (they never talk of the "energon cube" for example). I think that's where a great deal of the hate is coming from; people making up their minds before seeing the actual movie. Why? You people are just ruining it for yourselves. I limited myself to watching 1 trailer.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:36 a.m. CST

    What's wrong with this review...

    by Vadakin

    It can be summed in with Mori saying to go read the prequel novel if you want that's just bullshit. <p> You shouldn't have to read a prequel book just to understand who the transformers are, what their relationships are etc It should be done in the movie itself. But with most of the TF's having fuck all to say (especially Decepticons) and the focus being on humans, there was never a chance of that happening. Let me try to put this in words you'll understand... <p> Imagine Spider-Man 3 was actually Spider-Man 1 and the movie had no explanation of how Peter got his powers, how his relationship with MJ developed and had very little detail on the story between him and Harry and why Harry hates him. <p> So Peter is going to propose...Harry shows up as the new Goblin...but actually the first Goblin since there was no Goblin shown before that...and Uncle Ben is dead for no apparent reason except in the couple of vague flashbacks in the movie. <p> Would you write a review that recommended that we read a prequel novel that details Peter and MJ's relationship, Normans time as the Goblin, Uncle Ben's death, the rise of Doc Ock etc? want those stories to be told in the movie. <p> The same applies to Transformers...the rivallry between Megatron and StarScream, the bond that exists between the Autobots...even Megatrons sadistic and cruel nature and unending desire for power and control shouldn't be reduced to a prequel novel...they should be in the movie. <p> I agree with you Mori, TF:The Movie was shit but the one thing the cartoons and comics had was a developed relationship between the transformers...they were the stars and the focus was squarely on them - on who they are and what they represent. <p> TINO may have some cool action, butI honestly can't put my faith in any review or reviewer who basically says "oh the story was shit, the script was shit...but shit blows up so it's a good movie", which is what all these positive reviews are saying. <p> And apart from effects, there is no comparison with Jurassic Park...the T-Rex was the monster in a monster movie...the dinos were there to provide thrills and spills and showcase new technology...but the Transformers are supposed to be living sentient beings who don't just chase humans...they interact with them, talk to them. They have their own feelings and thoughts. Spider-Man is more than just a masked superhero who says fuck all and saves people...he's a person with personal issues and feelings. The fact that I have to go and read a prequel novel to find out who the characters are just shows how wrong the writers of the movie were with Transformers. <p> I don't blame Bay for it actually...the blame lies with Spielberg and the writers. There may be some great action in the film, but it's not's a generic robot action movie...Transformers In Name Only. <p> TINO

  • July 2, 2007, 10:36 a.m. CST

    Moriarty the animated movie

    by messi

    how could you not not like the scene otpimus does his heroic thing and owns 7 decepticons then fights megatron, it's special because in hindsight it's optimus' final hurrah and he's making way for new (toys) but the way it's constructed, it's done to be special. and then the death scene, one of the most emotional death scenes ever. When does the hero die. When the fuck does Optimus Prime die, impossible.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:36 a.m. CST

    had too much coffee Zombie?

    by Lost Prophet

  • July 2, 2007, 10:44 a.m. CST

    "in on the joke"??

    by messi

    I don't get it.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:44 a.m. CST


    by Lost Prophet

    my main objection to this so far is based on the script- various accounts have said that 80% has been used or bugger all has been used- whatever. <p>However, what I want is some quality- I despise the turn your brain off to enjoy it line of criticism. Maybe I am fucking po-faced, again whatever, but it is possible for a film to be both smart and action packed. <p>I honestly feel that any film that tries to milk "humour" out of a sequence with a dog pissing on a robot, and then later on a robot pissing on someone else is lazy and weak as they are essentially recycling the same lame toilet-wall humour. <p>Fuck it, call me po-faced and perhaps I am getting cynical. I freely admit that I would not think like this if I hadn't read the script, but I just can't get over it. No matter how good Messi says the Starscream sequence is. <p>It does stand a good chance at making it into my films to watch when shitfaced pile (as when in that state my brain doesn't work anyway so all the shit that usually bothers me doesn't), but is that the mark of a good film?

  • July 2, 2007, 10:47 a.m. CST

    Hotdamn, it might be good!!!

    by Cameron1

    Yackbacker's review had me intrigued, now Moriarty's has me sold. And it sounds like it's Bay who's elevated what is a really lame script...that's pretty shocking but I'm very happy about it.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:49 a.m. CST

    psyched to see this

    by Ricky Henderson

    argh, why do I have to wait until tomorrow night before I can see this?

  • July 2, 2007, 10:50 a.m. CST


    by messi

    Ohh don't get me wrong. I love Devastator and he's one of my all time favourites, just the idea of him is fucking awesome. I love Superion too but Devastator is fucking Devastator.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:51 a.m. CST

    lost prophet

    by messi

    I have said many times before it's not a leave your brain at the door type movie, that is ID4, this is more entertainment that is fulfilling more like Jurassic Park, but this has robots you get attatched to so more like Spidey 1.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:53 a.m. CST


    by brassai2003

    How could you gloss over those awful scenes with the Autobots SNEAKING around the back yard. C'mon man. this movie sucked. Bumblebee pissing on John Tuturro? This is your idea of a great summer movie. You hit on a lot of the same compliants I had inmy review (which you posted (Greenhouse) thanks dude!) But don't lead people astray. this movie stinks. and will appeal to the base "fart joke" audiance out there. Sad.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:53 a.m. CST

    I know messi

    by Lost Prophet

    and the problem is that I shouldn't have read the script. I reread your review and some of the things that bother me are still in there- I think you fell head over heels for the Starscream sequence. <p>Just out of curiosity- were you banned? and if so how did you get back?

  • July 2, 2007, 10:58 a.m. CST

    TOO SOON!!

    by Pageiv

    Is there a Weird Al song like the first movie?

  • July 2, 2007, 11:01 a.m. CST

    The script

    by SeanPerna

    I'll give you a small non-spoiler example of how the script has changed. At the start of the movie, you've got a crew of soldiers talking of life "back home". In the script, when one of them mentions his daughter, the other guys tear up and gulp with envy... in the movie, they laugh and mock the dude for acting so emo. That perfectly represents how pretty much every line of dialogue and much of the action has changed for the better in the final product. I don't think a great movie necessarily has to be "smart"; but it needs to be congruent and spirited. Transformers has that. I know all the evidence points against it, but can't you just wait and see for yourself? With every minute you guys spend building up the hate, you'll be less able to enjoy the movie when you get around to watching it. I'm yet to see someone exclaiming "TINO" who have actually SEEN the movie. Look, I have all the UK comics, most of the episodes on DVD, the original movie on DVD, the toys, the posters. I know the lore. I'm a fan, and I say, if you're still going on with the TINO BS after having watched the movie, nothing will please you save for an exact replica of the '86 title.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:03 a.m. CST

    Jurassic Park

    by PirateEmery

    Mori, I do have to say that your reviews are top-notch. For the most part, I usually end up agreeing with your statements. Your reviews are the reason why I keep coming back to AICN.<p> The part of this review that worked as a checkmate as to whether or not I'd like this movie, lies in the comparison between this and Jurassic Park.<p> Along with the original Star Wars and Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park is one of my most favorite movies of all time. A special part of my childhood is dedicated to dinosaurs, while other kids worshiped superheroes and Power Rangers. I was reading dinosaur books when I was 2, so it isn't much of a stretch to say that this film rocked my world. It took MONTHS to try to convince two parents and a nanny to take a 3 year old into a scary PG-13 movie.<p> Jurassic Park was not a movie to me. It was a shrine, a monument to Dinosaurs. Someone saying that Jurassic Park sucked would be akin to someone pissing on a devout Christian's Bible.<p> This is how hardcore Transformers fans should take this movie. It isn't an adaptation. It's a shrine/monument to an era. Velociraptors are supposed to be 3 feet tall, yet in the movie they are 6 feet tall. Optimus Prime is supposed to be flame-less, yet here he is.<p> So, let's all keep this in mind when we see it today/tomorrow/day after depending on when it opens in your neck of the USA. This is not an adaptation of the comics nor the cartoons. It is a memorial, a culmination.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:04 a.m. CST

    evidence = I meant early

    by SeanPerna

    evidence = I meant early indicators (toys, cars, bays, etc)

  • July 2, 2007, 11:09 a.m. CST

    Jurassic Park blew

    by Lost Prophet

    Heh. <p>Sean- there are still people crying TINO. Check out the big reviews page. <p>I believe you and Messi and co about the changes, but I really wish I hadn't read that script now, as the thought of paying $20 for this makes my skin crawl. I'm being stubborn about this. <p>When I said smart I was being lazy- I actually meant not retarded and not full of plot holes.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:10 a.m. CST

    No one calls Soundwave un-chrasa-matic!

    by ye olde shiza

    Just had to throw that iron in the fire. One of my favorite stupid lines from TF: The Movie. I love that movie ... and I do indeed love the judges/rotating skulls ... weren't there three of them (paralleling the Fates?) ... Transformers is all about character for me. The Decepticons were like watching "Time Bandits," but with inept robots who undercut and make fun of each other instead of midgets. People who can't laugh at either of those movies, well ... that's okay. But the new Transformers will be good. It just won't be stupid. Oh, and Cars old-guy routine was totally ripped off from Transformers: The Movie's Kup. He's the original crotchity piece-of-shit car, long before Paul Newman's salad-dressing frothy mouth stole all Kup's good lines ...

  • July 2, 2007, 11:12 a.m. CST

    Lost Prophet

    by PirateEmery

    You suck.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:13 a.m. CST

    In fact!

    by ye olde shiza

    That whole movie plot was stolen from Transformers: The Movie. The relationship between Kup and Hot Rod was the precursor for Pixar's snoozer.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:14 a.m. CST

    cheers. I didn't say it sucked though

    by Lost Prophet

    Right. Off home (back under my bridge after that dismal piece of blatant trolling)

  • July 2, 2007, 11:16 a.m. CST


    by ye olde shiza

    Speaking in all commercial advertisements ... great! I know there's a nugget of cultural satire somewhere in that ... I just can't muster the energy to bring it out and bolster Transformers: The Movie as a transcendent, oft-misunderstood, piece of fine art!

  • July 2, 2007, 11:18 a.m. CST

    PirateEmery--I agree

    by dead youngling

    TF is a shrine to my childhood and this movie is a representation of that shrine, but not the whole thing.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:21 a.m. CST


    by ye olde shiza

    WOuld you like to beg for your lives? It sometimes helps ... but not often.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:35 a.m. CST

    I'd love to see a movie that makes me feel something

    by Lour Reed luvs Frank Zappa

    Let me know when one of those comes along.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:35 a.m. CST

    The mood music for Unicron ...

    by ye olde shiza

    was awesome. And Orson Welles can be proud to have made TF: The Movie his last project on Earth. In Heaven, I'm sure he's making a sequel, and God is directing.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:37 a.m. CST

    It was nice of the Autobots to give the Dinobots a job

    by ye olde shiza

    I mean, who else would have ... it's good to see that Autobots Human Resources had some spots to fill with mongoloyds. They need work, too.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:38 a.m. CST


    by messi

    ....Optimus. <p> that was one special moment, still inspiring to this day.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:41 a.m. CST

    Transformers 2 = Dinobots and DEVASTATOR!!!!

    by messi

    Do it like the dreamwave comic where Devastator just destroys everything. And also have that bit where optimus drives up, transforms in mid air and then shoots Devastator on the chest making him fall down.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:44 a.m. CST


    by ye olde shiza

    You're a funny guy. If the rest of my day is filled with Rabid Grannies, at least this morning was filled with a million references to ridiculous cartoons.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:47 a.m. CST

    The only hurdle to that idea ...

    by ye olde shiza

    Would be for Michael Bay or Hasbro to make a mongoloyd look "cool!" Oh wait ... Bay already did that for Nic Cage. Let the mongoloyd robot toyline begin!

  • July 2, 2007, 11:50 a.m. CST

    Golden Retriever with an Ice Cream Cone?

    by ye olde shiza

    Fuckin' ridiculous. And I can't stop thinking about how great it would be to see that on the screen ... in fact, 3 or 4 minutes of it just looking at and slobbering on the camera, stupidly. That would throw off the audience.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:51 a.m. CST

    Bad Boys 2 is EASILY Bay's worst movie

    by Razorback

    Which just goes to show you that Mori is out of his fuckin' mind. Still, Transformers is probably awesome.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:54 a.m. CST

    Lost Prophet

    by messi

    i asked moriarty what happened and he fixed it for me since i didn't do anything, my posts got deleted, but i'm back. and yes the starscream sequence is just ahh incredible. the blackout sequence is also incredible, everything you look for in an event movie, put you on the edge of your seat, get your heart racing.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:55 a.m. CST

    ZombieSolutions hates the fountain

    by messi

    which means I hate him, he doesn't even rate the score which had motherfucking Mogwai. But the cunt does love Children of Men though. CHILDREN OF FUCKING AUTOBOTS!

  • July 2, 2007, 11:56 a.m. CST

    But can they really do Devastator since he's in this

    by RevSick

    one as a tank? I suppose if they made him like the head or something like that? Messi your thoughts?

  • July 2, 2007, 11:58 a.m. CST

    I'll probably be renting the video game tonight

    by RevSick

    maybe playing it will win me over although I'll be a little pained that they got Welker for Megatron in the game but use Weaving for him in the movie, and I still think he sounds like Unicron from the letterman clip.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:02 p.m. CST


    by messi

    I doubt people will notice, and they will totally forget about it by the time he merges and screams "PREPARE FOR EXTERMINATION". Fuck yeah. they will just know him as that motherfucking giant robot.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:02 p.m. CST

    What the hell is wrong with you people???

    by Kloipy

    One of Stephen King's great works is about to be murdered by the guy who did Wrong Turn! Where is the uprising?

  • July 2, 2007, 12:04 p.m. CST

    Mogwai means the movie rules

    by messi

    it's the unexplained rule of life. Mogwai could score the next ' series'(epic movie, date movie) and it would be a masterpiece. What's wrong with death is the road to awe, maybe someone who is not a misanthropist who sees no hope in humanity nor existance wouldn't get it. <p> CHILDREN OF FUCKING MEN!

  • July 2, 2007, 12:05 p.m. CST

    I know most people won't care Messi

    by RevSick

    I was asking more if you also thought he sounded like Unicron, should have been more specific on my part.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:05 p.m. CST

    Reminds me ...

    by ye olde shiza

    When my friend and I were coming up with off-the-wall Transformers ... like the second and third string Transformers who don't get their own movie or toys. Toilet bowls. Catapults. Barbara Walters.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:06 p.m. CST

    Unicron music

    by messi

    when Unicron transforms Megatron into galvatron, that eerie emotional doom music is so embedded in my brain, I heard it when I was 4 and have never ever forgotten it. Optimus' death scene also had great music. But Optimus lives...for the most part. With Flames. So he's hotter than ever.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:07 p.m. CST

    I don't get it

    by messi

    are you talking about Megatron or Devastator?

  • July 2, 2007, 12:09 p.m. CST

    And I'm sorry but the Fountain is great film making..

    by RevSick

    ..also think it's Aronofsky's best work IMO. It's got his trademarks but it's also his most cinematic work. He's always had great scores working with Mansell and Mansell can really utilize talent well ala using Kronos Quartet for Requiem for a Dream.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:11 p.m. CST

    Megatron with Weaving's Voice...

    by RevSick

    ...sounds like Unicron to me. As far as Devestator I was wondering if you thought they can do Devestator in the sequel with him being in this one as a tank. Sorry still caffening up and waiting for the workers to get in hear so I can let my poor cat out of the bathroom.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:11 p.m. CST

    Word-up, ZombieSolutions

    by Yack Backer

    It's all about CHILDREN OF MEN. How this site and others in the film geek community don't talk about this movie more is bothersome, to say the least. What's worse is that the Academy and AFI can't fucking process its brilliance. For shame.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:14 p.m. CST

    Also an amazing flick....

    by RevSick

    ...I think it's more akin to old school sci-fi like Soilent Green, which I think we need more of. Not that I'm complaining about the Star Wars/Star Trek school of sci-fi, but man it'd be great to get more old school sci fi like that.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:18 p.m. CST

    Mori continues to be...

    by eppdude

    one of the sole reasons I continue to visit this site. I always love the revs, Mori. Thanks for the good work.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:19 p.m. CST

    The Haters thing just needs to go away....

    by RevSick

    ...a hater is someone who is going to bash it and never admit if he/she was wrong and not saying that there aren't any out there. But I do not thing anyone wanted this movie to fail they wanted it to be better than what they were getting. Perhaps better isn't the right word, but I think they wanted it to have more thought into the story/characters and not just stuff splodin pretty. I think most of us who've been labled as haters are more than willing to admit if we're wrong, probably more so than the appologists would be willing to admit they were wrong if the movie does indeed suck.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:20 p.m. CST

    Fuck you, McWeeny

    by Frankenblogger

    'Transformers: The Movie' is awesome. <br /> YOU suck.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:21 p.m. CST

    The more I think about it...

    by tile_mcgillus

    We, the "haters" or whatever you want to call us, were saying we did not agree with certain directional choices and the disregard for the source material. We felt as if the movie was being treated as a vapid popcorn flick. <p> <b>We were exactly right. </b> <p> Now that doesn't mean we win a prize or get a cookie because the "apologists" knew the same thing. The difference is that they were fine with the direction.<p> It has a lot to do with expectations and what the individual looks for in a movie. Now it is obvious that the majority of people are more than happy to go and sit and enjoy the movie. Even if the story has no meat because they are not going for that reason. Completely understandable. <p> I think I am just underwhelmed with the story aspect. Everyone knew from day one the special effects would be drop dead gorgeous, and the fights....A number 1. We were just worried about the story and its impact...and the "designs". Then when we get answers about things like "Because I said so" (Bay and the flames) it is very disconcerting. So I will not give my money to Michael Bay because of the attitude and approach he took with something I love. I will see it eventually and for free. Just not this week. I still have yet to see DH4. I am a little behind.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:21 p.m. CST

    I think Sunshine is going to be another great piece of

    by RevSick

    old school sci fi, very asimov meets clarke. It's like 2001 mixed with The Gods Themselves.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Michael Bay's Transformers > FARSCAPE

    by Yack Backer


  • July 2, 2007, 12:24 p.m. CST


    by ye olde shiza

    The Fountain is the director's cock-explosion on screen ... I'm glad he got it out of his system, but someone please rein that man in. With source material, he's good. Without boundaries (and he said not having cash was a boundary, but I don't think so), he just flies all over the fuckin' place. The Fountain was very symbolic, sure, but that doesn't make it good. I once wrote a short story after I'd read too much Thomas Pynchon, and I wanted to just push the symbolism and metaphor to a point where I spent three pages in one room, while one girl was asleep watching shit happen, like pieces of Shredded Wheat bloating in a bowl ... I tried to characterize the passage between life and death in things like the time it takes for water to drip out of a faucet. The end was metaphysical mumbo-jumobo that had no logic to it ... and no real ending. Just an open window into what? <br><br> The best comment about that story - "art for art's sake - a new take on writing." Most comments about that story - "what the fuck?" <br><br> I learned my lesson, and I just hope that Aronofsky learns his ... symbolism isn't meant to be manually inserted. It's meant to happen along the way, a happy accident. When you try to make a movie as dense as The Fountain, and in making it, you keep adding different shit that symbolizes an amorphous nothingness, ala death, afterlife, whatever else we don't know shit about or have any reference point to, you get a movie that's fuckin tripping on acid but doesn't really take you any closer to answers at the end. People defend that as art. I say it is indeed art ... art that fails. You didn't see Mark Twain or Ernest Hemingway writing a bunch of lucid bullshit, yet they still made very powerful statements about life and death. So do many artists, and I think Aronofsky is capable of this, but he needs someone to critique him and beat him with a stick first. Children of Men is a good example of a movie that makes a lot of big statements, but does so in a very strict chase-movie format ... <br><br> Okay. Enough of my ranting. More about the Transformers!

  • July 2, 2007, 12:25 p.m. CST


    by Mattyboy122

    You refer to Bay as having films in the Criterion collection as if that means anything? Bay's films stick out like a sore thumb on their list. All Criterion releases come with an essay book, and the essay on Armageddon was written by one of his college professors. And if that isn't bad enough, the essay is totally apologist (and really, desperately reaches to find reasons to consider this film important, like calling Armageddon a celebration of the working man). Furthermore, his professor justifies the selection of the film because it introduces all of the characters at the beginning. So the film does what every film is SUPPOSED TO DO in the beginning. Magnificent. So basically the film was selected for no reason other than Michael Bay probably handing some cash over to inflate his ego. The Rock MIGHT be justifiable (but behind much better action films like Die Hard, French Connection, Wild Bunch, Dirty Harry, etc), but the folks at Criterion are so snobby that their selection of such a low-brow director's work makes the whole thing suspect.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:29 p.m. CST

    anthony anderson good?

    by BadMrWonka

    come ON Mori, yells at his grandma, does little dances with his brother, makes jokes about the police, eats donuts...he's the worst part of the film!<p>I'll give you this though, this is the first legit role to admit that the military porn actually worked for them. to me it was "AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!!" Team America shit, but done for real. <p>this movie was a joke. I'm starting to get how people had "an experience" watching it, and jsut sort of went , "yeah!! AWESOME!! WHOA!!!" but I'm beyond understanding how anyone, especially someone like you whose opinion I respect, can honestly claim it's a good film. I just don't get it.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:29 p.m. CST

    Yackbacker History will have the final word on COM

    by messi

    remember when blade Runner came out, granted Blade Runner didn't have the film community in pure worship mode but still. The 80's had Blade Runner, the 90's had The Matrix, 00's have CHILDREN OF FUCKING MEN! <p> History may also shut up my cousin who said it wasn't a good film, it had holes in the script and the dialogue wasn't good. He then said he loved Blood Diamond and I said "it's ok, it's Edward Zwick, better than Last Samurai but not that good" and he goes "and you liked Children of men?" then I said "you'd get beaten up by filmgeeks for saying that". feed him to the AICN dogs.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:29 p.m. CST

    um, Transformers the movie was pretty bad

    by Ricky Henderson

    Not sure why it gets so much love, especially since it went and destroyed an iconic character soley for the purpose of selling new toys. The movie is a complete mess--especially the french robots or whatever they were. Leonard Nimoy as Galvatron? Please. A sleepy Orson Welles voicing Unicron? Gimme a break. Rodimus Prime was a travesty. Sorry folks, but that movie almost destroyed the entire franchise.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:30 p.m. CST

    He didnt' get the original that's fine

    by RevSick

    I'm not going to begrudge him that, his review is more for the people who aren't well versed in TFs.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:31 p.m. CST

    Transformers: The Movie is not the right comparison

    by Jak0lantern01

    If we can forget about toys and have to disregard the comics, at least look back to the television series leading up to TF:TM. The cartoon really had some entertaining episodes (Heavy Metal War or The Ultimate Doom, anyone?). TF:TM really was poorly done, I don't know why every critic review insists on going back to it for comparisons.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:32 p.m. CST

    The Animated Movie

    by ManosTHOF

    The animated movie has a lot of nostalgia for me and I still think it rocks, but it sacrificed the best things about the series (Optimus Prime, Starscream) in order to make the cynical move to liquidate an aging toyline and go on to a new one. I don't believe it captured everything that was good about the series. However, it did have the sense of mortality that the series lacked (except for a few episodes based on Prime near-death experiences). If not for sequences in the film like the Junkions fixing Ultra Magnus with some Turtle Wax, the film wouldn't have undermined itself so much. That scene was something right out of "B.O.T." or "Autobot Spike", among the cheesiest of the episodes of the series....... Mori hit it head on for me when he mentioned Prime being the ethical role model. If Bay's movie gets that right, it would go a long way to winning me over.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:33 p.m. CST

    The reason they go back to it

    by RevSick

    is because it's usually their only frame of reference, they were either too old for the cartoon or didn't have kids at the time. So they only thing they have to go off of is the film.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:34 p.m. CST

    "at my local pharmacy/video store..."

    by Zarles

    LOL. Say hi to Barney Fife for me the next time you get arrested, okay Opie?

  • July 2, 2007, 12:36 p.m. CST

    The reason they go back to it

    by messi

    is because it's surprisingly adult compared to the normal cartoon, it was dark and desperately hopeless for the good guys and they killed off Optimus Prime, and then the other G1 characters. yeah it was to sell new toys but it was still poignant, to kill off Brawn, Prowl, Ironhide and Ratchet within the first 5 mins was ballsy. Then the wonderful scene of Optimus going to fight Megatron. It's a great animated movie in it's own merits.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:36 p.m. CST

    Light shows.

    by Barry Egan

    I think Mori hits this nail on the head. These CGI heavy action movies are just elaborate light shows. I would compare it to a fireworks show -- pretty to look at and completely forgotten as soon as it's over.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:38 p.m. CST

    Im starting to smell the

    by huggerorange

    Im starting to smell the rotting corpse of Spiderman the end of this week transformer's box office receipts will make the stench unbearable.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:39 p.m. CST

    Moriarty, what's the script flaw with The Rock?

    by epitone

    As preposterous as the movie is, I generally find the story pretty tight. It's the only Michael Bay movie I've ever seen and, in all likelihood, the only one I will ever see.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:41 p.m. CST

    I missed the Transformers boat

    by Mattyboy122

    I was too young to get into it,plus I spent most of my childhood watching movies, not TV. But recently I saw the animated Transformers movie and it is pretty awful. The 80's rock, Rodimus Prime, Unicron, etc. However, I can see why some people would still regard it highly for nostalgia's sake (Prime whipping Decepticon ass before he fights Megatron was pretty cool). That said, I won't be seeing Bay's film because I thoroughly dislike Bay and his movies. This has the potential to be his best film solely because of Spielberg's influence, but if Bad Mr. Wonka is right, the Berg's influence dissipates pretty early on. Enjoy the flick if you me it just looks like ID4 with aliens that transform into cars.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:42 p.m. CST

    Yes, the first 15-20 mins of TF:TM is good

    by Jak0lantern01

    but it's all downhill from there. Maybe the battle against Unicron is ok, but everything in between is gag-worthy and incoherent. Looking forward to seeing Bay's spectacle tomorrow night, though. And yes, the Roger Ebert review is very friendly toward the movie. Hopefully it's not due to the meds he is surely on these days, God bless'm.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:49 p.m. CST



    Care to make any bets here chumps?

  • July 2, 2007, 12:50 p.m. CST


    by ye olde shiza

    You're correct! Pynchon is a fuckin' behemoth of a writer ... with a brain that just runs loops around other people's. All that was frustrating at first, as a guy who thinks he can write pretty well, but then I just realized I wasn't good enough yet to go a-rambling in my stories like Pynchon could. I needed more fundamentals first, but I don't regret trying either ... and I don't think The Fountain will be such a bad thing for Aronofsky, unless he doesn't take the criticism to heart. If he doesn't hear what people think, he'll likely turn into an M Night-scale egomaniac.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:52 p.m. CST

    Anyone who uses the suffix "-INO"

    by ledbetter51

    ...for anything is a douche. It's a stupid, bullshit, lazy non-argument. Sorry, it just annoys the shit out of me. Carry on.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Every. Single. Review. mentions all the flaws.

    by Horseflesh

    I'm just gonna fucking give up on movies. "Good" has never been as subjective as it is these days. I'll say it again, this entire TF fiasco has been a fucking nightmare and if I ever meet Don Murphy or Michael Bay I'm gonna spit in their coke and say, "There, now I ruined something YOU were enjoying."

  • July 2, 2007, 12:56 p.m. CST

    i'm not sure about COM

    by Kloipy

    it was good social commentary, but i didn't get that affected by it. It may be that I was in a lot of pain when I watched it, or from first hearing about it and then hearing glowing reviews everywhere that my expectations were just too high. It was a wonderful example of direction and cinematography, and yet it just didn't resound with me like I thought it would. Most of the movie was just Clive Owen running around trying to hide the pregnant woman. Then getting shoved through prisons and customs and then running and hiding. People seeing the baby and changing their minds about life. I understand the importance of the message, I just didn't think it was done the right way. I know people will probably will hate me for my opinion, but that's how I feel. Spoilers< the end where Clive Owen dies was so predictable and cheesy. And I thought it was one of the worst endings I had seen in a while.

  • July 2, 2007, 12:57 p.m. CST

    Douche ...

    by ye olde shiza

    Not to start any arguments, but what's the origin of calling someone a douchebag. It seems to me that being an apparatus that enters the vagina, then squirts all over, would be commended, not condemned ... <br><br> Unless you're Dane Cook ... it's obvious to see why he calls people douchebags. Because he's homosexical, and a woman's vagina frightens him mortally.

  • July 2, 2007, 1:09 p.m. CST

    RE: The Rock & Why It Collapses

    by uss cygnus

    Okay...I agree with Mori about the first act of the film and Nic Cage. Where I start to take umbrage in "The Rock" is the fact that the film flatly LIES about American Soldiers being "Left to rot outside Baghdad", and that the only operations Marine Force Recon carries out are "illegal" ones. We have NEVER sent combat troops into China since the commies took over. Not during Korea, not ever. MacArthur was relieved of his command in part because he was NOT allowed to cross the border in Korea to attack the ChiComs. We do not abandon or leave behind our soldiers. Period. End of line. Also, all the laser guidance for our smart bombs in Gulf War 1 were lazed by aircraft or by Navy SEALS or Delta Operators, and all were extracted safely. So, the main argument that Hummel has for committing treason is patently absurd to begin with. Also, an entire platoon of SEALS would not be stupid enough to walk themselves into an ambush as they did in the shower room, walking into a perfect ambush site where an enemy would have an elevated firing position over them, even if they thought they were entering undetected on the prowl. SEALS are smarter soldiers than that. Also, the fact that these rebellious and supposedly disciplined Marines randomly start shooting the SEALS up without a command to fire...And we can also talk about how the Air Force flies F-18 fighters in this film, an aircraft which is exclusively flown by the Navy and Marine Corps...And the fact that artillery and naval gunfire could have easily bombarded the prison structures containing the rockets (who's locations were established by the thermal sat photos in the FBI command cented) into rubble without the Marines being able to defend themselves, and without warning...

  • July 2, 2007, 1:10 p.m. CST

    alright, I change my mind...

    by BadMrWonka

    Transformers is great. there are no glaring plot holes, the script is not compelte shit, and the pacing is absolutely perfect. what changed my mind?<p>Tegujai Batir<p>when he wrote, "Michael Bay's Transformers > self-pwning haters", the sheer poetry and individuality of's beautiful...and then, as if that wasn't beautiful and persuasive enough, he followed it up with, "Eat crow, retards!" beautiful. so compelling. where did he comes up with haters and subsituting the p for an o in "owned", sheer genius!<p>keep up the good work,'ll change the world. one pwned hater retard at a time.

  • July 2, 2007, 1:13 p.m. CST

    the whole greater than Farscape thing is a bit unfair

    by RevSick

    One you're talking TV show to Film, plus your talking poorly funded TV show to Large budget film. In it's entire run I don't think the calculated budget of every episode of Farscape came even close to the reportedd 150 million it cost for Transformers. So it's a bit dodgy to compare the two.

  • July 2, 2007, 1:14 p.m. CST

    wow, uss cygnus

    by Ricky Henderson

    I'd love to hear what you thought about Bay's treatment of NASA in "Armaegddon." That was all factual and true to established aeronautic practices, yes?

  • July 2, 2007, 1:16 p.m. CST

    Realistically I'm going to hold most of the blame

    by RevSick

    on the writers and Hasbro on this. Hasbro wanted a new toy line (hence the new designs) fine whatever but I read an interview with the writers that basically said they were getting so much shit thrown at them they couldn't think straight. So they tried to please all interests by adding everything including the kitchen sink into it that had been requested so I lay any blame for the weak story on them. Bay is Bay you get what you expect out of him.

  • July 2, 2007, 1:17 p.m. CST

    Another Tick For The Shit Column

    by topaz4206

    I was NUTS for the Transformers as a kid. I even cried once when my neighbor got a 3-foot Optimus Prime from Japan.<br><br>I bought the 20th anniversary DVD a few days ago, and I'm sad to say I had to force myself to sit through it.<br><br>But that hasn't dampened my spirit -- I'll be at the midnight showing tonight with a flask of Patron in my pocket, and ready for a good time.

  • July 2, 2007, 1:20 p.m. CST

    by the way, did anyone read the awful NY Times review?

    by Ricky Henderson

    Manohla Dargis is a complete idiot. She goes in with an agenda and gets stuff wrong. Here's what she says: "There, under the desert sun, muscly, sweaty military types (Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson) clash with an ominous helicopter that converts into a mysteriously angry critter with an articulated tail like that of a scorpion." <br> <br> I haven't even seen the movie yet, but isn't that part about Blackout being the scorpion factually incorrect?

  • July 2, 2007, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Duck Tales:The Movie

    by Kloipy

    Yippee Ki Yay Mother D(quack)ker

  • July 2, 2007, 1:28 p.m. CST

    Manohla Dargis > FARSCAPE

    by Yack Backer

    Hehe, just kidding Tallulah Backslap. <p> Umm, why A.O. Scott didn't review this movie is beyond me. But nobody really tries with the NYT staff anymore. Anthony Lane actually liked it though... I think...

  • July 2, 2007, 1:33 p.m. CST

    Fanboy Psych 101

    by Cold Winter Wind

    "Nostalgia Goggles" finally caused it to click. As a proud fanboy of all things Geek, I realize that the first time I got 'burned' by a movie adaptation of a comic, I kept pickin' at the scab until figured out why I was disappointed with the movie. I mean, it was well made, had good performances, etc., etc.,... - but it still fell short. I realized that the problem wasn't the movie, the problem was my unreasonable expection that the movie would generate the same sense of mind-expanding wonder at the limitless possibilities of what COULD be, not just what IS. I was young then. Now? Not so much.

  • July 2, 2007, 1:37 p.m. CST

    A.O Scott is an idiot.

    by messi

    how this dickfuck won a Pulitzer is beyond me, basically says any dumb cunt can win won. Such a non objective reviewer.

  • July 2, 2007, 1:37 p.m. CST

    Heh, but what does David Denby think of it I wonder?

    by Ricky Henderson

    I still remember his laughably bad write up of ROTS. It was like the man had never seen a star wars movie before...

  • July 2, 2007, 1:39 p.m. CST

    The animated movie...

    by frostyxc

    Is a piece of shit. So what? I guess since I grew up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and I can have fun watching Z-grade movies that I don't mind admitting that I still like it. The first 20 minutes are awesome, though. I still get chills when the Decepticons jump out of the crippled Autobot ship coming down to Earth and Megatron tells them to attack. The image of all of the jets transforming to go after the Autobots just gets me in the deepest part of my geekzone. <p> As for the new movie, I don't think I will be calling it a piece of shit any time in the next twenty years. It looks good to me. Rock me, Amadeus.

  • July 2, 2007, 1:49 p.m. CST

    The animated movie is crap except for the attack

    by superninja

    on Autobot City which is cool. However, you must admit you need some investment in the characters at that point for it to matter, Mori is right. <p> I don't think Bumblebee pissing on people is a characterization improvement, however.

  • July 2, 2007, 1:54 p.m. CST

    The animated film had its moments...

    by RevSick

    I think that had they scrapped the soundtrack it would have helped the tone of it

  • July 2, 2007, 1:58 p.m. CST

    Lest we not forget...

    by Christopher3

    Ebert loved "Spawn."

  • July 2, 2007, 1:59 p.m. CST

    oi don't even mention spawn

    by RevSick

    there's a piece of cinematic afterbirth if ever i seen.

  • July 2, 2007, 1:59 p.m. CST

    So Mori says, the movie sucks?

    by Thylacine

    ‘Cause that's what it sounds like. I'm afraid no one here reviewing this film, gets just how far they've lowered the bar. Don't apologize for dumb movies by saying "Well, the source material was dumb, so it's okay." You slap them in the face and say "No, never again." This could have been a really awesome, Robots on Earth, Robots in space, crazy wild sci-fi movie. Instead we get a movie that thinks Robots peeing on people is funny. That's where the movie-makers' minds are at with this. Piss jokes and breasts. Don't let anyone fool you, this movie is a complete misfire. The only way they think they can save its box-office now is to market it as "remember Jurassic Park, remember the spectacle?" Maybe someone will someday make a Transformers movie about the Transformers, not Shia (I got a hardon for my car) and his amazing pissing car.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:02 p.m. CST

    The animated film IS crap

    by PervOmatic

    But fanboys will apologize for their nostalgia trips until they are blue in the face. I grew up liking the toys, cartoons, and comics but even back then I was savy enough to realize that it was all marketing.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:06 p.m. CST

    Bought the Tranformers cartoon movie...


    For my kid for 3 quid in a bargain bin and he wanted it off after half an hour of messed up, badly drawn confusing waffle and he likes cartoons and is a kid so it must be shiiittte! <P>at least this has shithot effects to gawp at!

  • July 2, 2007, 2:08 p.m. CST

    I predicted Mori would give this movie a good review.

    by superninja

    Just a feeling I had in the tone of his posts prior to its release. He was attracted to it, not repelled! Hahah.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:08 p.m. CST

    I predicted Mori would give this movie a good review.

    by superninja

    Just a feeling I had in the tone of his posts prior to its release. He was attracted to it, not repelled! Hahah.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:10 p.m. CST

    The 86 movie

    by Thylacine

    At leas the cartoon movie took place all over space. At least it treated the Robots like characters, and centered the story around them. At least the Robots were a diverse group of characters who change (physically and personally) through the film. Sure it was a toy commercial, but at least it new what it was about. “Robots, who are characters, fighting Orson Welles, the planet eater.” It was a cool idea, made only so so with cheap animation (although cooler in concept than the film's designs) and the 80's limited grasp of animation writing. It was sill a better idea than this piece of shit.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:10 p.m. CST

    He was being awfully condecending to the anti-bay camp

    by RevSick

    at least imo.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:10 p.m. CST

    Sorry for the double post.

    by superninja

    I'm not claiming he had made his mind up prior to the release like some people do about the people running this site. I am just saying he liked what he saw.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:13 p.m. CST

    Yes, that's true.

    by superninja

    It's because he doesn't care about the source material. He had no stakes in it.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:14 p.m. CST

    Spawn was better than SM3 and Ghostrider combined

    by Kloipy

    for the Violator scene alone

  • July 2, 2007, 2:15 p.m. CST

    Re: Armageddon Vs. The Rock

    by uss cygnus

    "Armageddon" is a joke, a ridiculous and implausible comic book fantasy of the highest degree. "The Rock" tries to push itself as a story which is plausible and somewhat it-couls-happen-here realistic. Ergo, I hold "The Rock" to a different standard of criticism than I would "Armageddon". That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:16 p.m. CST

    There's still no need to be a dick about it

    by RevSick

    there's alot of silly things we dorks do but even stuff i find silly as a dork I'm not going to give someone shit if that's their thing.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:17 p.m. CST

    "This is not a toy commercial... "

    by jfp2007

    It isn't? Have you walked into a Wal-Marts or Targets lately? There is TF movie and non-movie merchandise everywwwwwwwwwwheeerreeeeeeeee!!!!

  • July 2, 2007, 2:18 p.m. CST

    No, it's a Mountain Dew, Ebay and

    by superninja

    Yahoo commercial.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:19 p.m. CST


    by superninja

    That's because they are defensive about liking the movie.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:19 p.m. CST

    don't forget gmc

    by RevSick

    massive product placement, even worse than the joke placement that Mike Myers does in his flicks.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:21 p.m. CST

    That's silly to me...

    by RevSick

    if you like it just say you like it. Don't try to justify it by calling the other side stupid. Just say it, I liked a bad movie, is it really that hard, hell I thought Bloodrayne was Uwe's best work, I don't need to justify it by calling out video game dorks.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:22 p.m. CST

    I wish LOTR had product placement

    by Kloipy

    Frodo turns to camera "You know what cools me down after a long day of carrying the One ring to the fires of mount doom? A refreshing Josta!" Then he gives a thumbs up and goes back to licking sam's taint

  • July 2, 2007, 2:23 p.m. CST

    Animated Rules/New Film Rules--Haters, EAT SLAG!

    by dead youngling

    I'm glad I'm living in the times of TF, SW, LOTR, and Guitar Hero!

  • July 2, 2007, 2:23 p.m. CST


    by superninja

    Could it be because the movie is junkfood? It really isn't fair to say "if you took away the CGI" because some of the main characters are CGI. But if you put humans in place of the robots, probably a real crapfest, you know?

  • July 2, 2007, 2:27 p.m. CST

    I know that...

    by RevSick

    ..I'm just saying if you feel the need to justify why you liked a bad movie by tearing down the original fan base, the source material, that's a dick move.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:28 p.m. CST

    Another issue is the trash factor.

    by superninja

    Many reviews mention the oogling of Meghan Fox by the camera as the whole point of her character. Which is expected of Bay, but in a family film? In Transformers? Then you have robots peeing on/being peed on, giving the finger, cursing, etc. Which is just pop culture trash and bums me out.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:32 p.m. CST


    by Thylacine

    "So often today, films are treated like product, and there’s a lot of product that I enjoy. I’m not above a spectacle for the sake of it. But every now and then, there are filmmakers who I trust to challenge me about what I believe every time they make a film, and I not only enjoy the challenge, but I think I am bettered because of it." Maybe Brad Bird should have directed Transformers. Then Moriarty would be willing to look at as something more than a concept in need of “spectacle.”

  • July 2, 2007, 2:32 p.m. CST

    Now hold up...

    by JumpinJehosaphat

    ...It's a little early to be crying "it's a terrible movie!" since it's not out already. This is why talkbackers are, by and large, hypocritical assholes. They idolize bad movies because they watched it as a wide-eyed, mouth-breathing 8 year old, and then crap themselves at how bad movies are today while scouring eBay for that VHS tape from their childhood. Fanboys, you are part of the system. You are not separate from it. You put Bay where he is long ago, and you keep him going. You will end up seeing this movie and you know it, you dishonest pricks.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:32 p.m. CST

    "The animation is ugly..."

    by jfp2007

    You obviously didn't watch the 80s TF movie then. The animation, for the most part, is excellent. It has a few stinker moments like every other animated feature out there (Beauty and the Beast, an Oscar nominee for Best Picture, features some of Disney's worst animation ever...just plain choppy in a lot of places). So, say whatever you want, but you're wrong.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:32 p.m. CST

    Oh, and Ratatouille was a better film.

    by Thylacine

    Go give Pixar money instead.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:38 p.m. CST

    Dammit.......Conflict building!...

    by DOGSOUP

    Rapes childhood...Mori says it's worth it!....Damn you Michael Bay....Mori won't steer us wrong!...Still looks mind-numbingly retarded....Mori didn't hate it!....."i'll never see it." trust Mori! FUCK! MY HEAD ASPLODE!

  • July 2, 2007, 2:38 p.m. CST

    The movie that hasn't lost it's beauty

    by Kloipy

    Freaked. Styrofoam cup, bitches

  • July 2, 2007, 2:40 p.m. CST

    Every review says the story sucks and that

    by RevSick

    Shia's performance is the only saving grace outside of the FX, that spells bad movie in my book.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:42 p.m. CST

    And if you want big stupid fun with nothing else too

    by RevSick

    it but pretty spolsions that's fine. It doesn't mean that we're hypocryts for pointing out the obvious in these "positive" reviews and yet can remain objective in our appraisals of it. Bad movies can be fun, doesn't mean they aren't bad movies though.

  • July 2, 2007, 2:42 p.m. CST

    Take the Spielbay Challenge!

    by Thylacine Support Pixar!

  • July 2, 2007, 2:45 p.m. CST

    Moriarty, can you please explain

    by Sith Witch

    how you manage your time? The fact that you read the Foster book on top of all the boatloads of film events and writing you do is very inspiring, especially given that you now have the youngling. I've got a child on the way and can hardly get anything done towards my film career or even seeing a single film on any given day unless I routinely sacrifice myself to only 5 hrs. of sleep per night. Any tips you can divulge based on what your "average day" is like? It'd be hugely appreciated!

  • July 2, 2007, 3:03 p.m. CST


    by messi

    Judge it by it's own merits, it's a ballsy action packed film where the good guys are virtually beaten. It has cult status because it was so dark for a kids film.

  • July 2, 2007, 3:03 p.m. CST

    You continue to disappoint Moriarty...

    by SuperRealist

    Somebody somewhere (and you know who I mean) has obviously promised to lay off his earlier threats to crush you in this biz. Has he also offered to promote some of your projects with his "friends" in town? Maybe help you get a better agent? Those are the only reasons I can conceive for this sell out truce and why you've been giving the prick so much internet ink. It's a really small town. Lay down with dogs Mori... Get up with fleas.

  • July 2, 2007, 3:05 p.m. CST

    Dark kids film

    by Kloipy

    The Neverending Story. Damn. Watching it as an adult, it's amazing what people once did for kids. Didn't treat them like they were retards and couldn't handle death. Look at the scene where Atreyu loses Artex to the swamp of sadness. That is some depressing shit. The whole oracle scene. The g'mork which he stabs to death. The scene with the mirror. Kids need movies that speak to them not down to them

  • July 2, 2007, 3:06 p.m. CST

    According to the new toy, Starscream is more G1 in pt 2

    by messi

    post the battle, starscream takes on a new disguise and has a G1 style head and a G1 paintjob, this would be aweosme.

  • July 2, 2007, 3:08 p.m. CST

    new toy?

    by RevSick

    messi you got a link to that? If we're leading up to the TF film we all wanted I'll buy a ticket in a heartbeat to make sure it gets the money it needs.

  • July 2, 2007, 3:09 p.m. CST

    The animation is ugly?!

    by Neo Zeed

    Get the fuck outta here. You can bash the story all you want (It is a mess) But that animation is awesome.

  • July 2, 2007, 3:13 p.m. CST

    Exploded it would make sense....

    by RevSick

    ...guaranteeing more recognizable characterizations of the TF's would be the only sure fire way to guarantee patronage by the so-called "haters"

  • July 2, 2007, 3:15 p.m. CST

    Sorry Mori, but you are absolutely suspect.

    by IndustryKiller!

    And no I don't mean I think you were payed or a plant or whatever. But your taste and my taste have finally completely parted ways. I would give you the benefit of the doubt here but the track record isn' exactly pristine. Daredevil, The Punisher, and Episode 3 come to mind. All inexcusably awful films, source material faithful or not, that you gave a free pass. Well it was fun trusting an editor on this site while it lasted. It figures it would be a Michael bay film that would bring it to this.

  • July 2, 2007, 3:18 p.m. CST

    Where's the Bourne TB?

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    New theatrical trailer. <P>

  • July 2, 2007, 3:23 p.m. CST


    by RevSick

    ....the minute mori started doing real work in the biz (MOH) i stopped trusting his reviews. No offense to the guy but I know how that whole world works and how in crowd it is, so anytime I always read his reviews with a grain of salt.

  • July 2, 2007, 3:23 p.m. CST

    Bravo, Mori

    by capt jack aubrey

    "It’s like watching TOP GUN if Tom Cruise played the jet." Mori, you MUST get that blurbed on a newspaper ad or the DVD box... or, failing that, you need to put it on a placard and parade the quote up and down the sidewalk in front of theaters... beautifully done, sir.

  • July 2, 2007, 3:26 p.m. CST

    And Mori, obviously well directed action isn't part....

    by IndustryKiller!

    of you're criteria for liking a film. Bad Boys II is when bay went full out MTV style quick cut editing and as a result every action sequence was fucking terrible. If you have any respect for that action genre it's an impossible point to argue. He's been on that kick ever since and I ehar it's in full force in Transformers. And he'll clearly keep doing it given what a hack he is. I'm also wondering why it's so hard for you to say that you hated Michael Bay. As someone in this industry who considers themself an artist it should be requisite to hate michael bay. but you go to great lengths to say that, While you hate more or less everything he's done except bad Boys II (once again, suspect) you don't hate him. Why? There is no perceived sense of fairness you have to be playing by here. The guy directs awful films, as you more or less admitted, and he produces awful horror remakes. He single handedly makes film a lesser art, and he does it loudly while making money of a frighteningly idiot willing public. If there is criteria for hate, I'm pretty sure that's it.

  • July 2, 2007, 3:32 p.m. CST

    IK I think it has to do more with a....

    by RevSick

    ..."don't shit where you eat" mentality than anything else. Me I shat all over when I was doing reviews (also part of why I don't do them anymore) when you write for someone who is trying to get an in to the system you can't really go on angry tiraids every time you see an awful film without getting the ole 86.

  • July 2, 2007, 3:33 p.m. CST

    And Mori why the hell would I read a prequel novel??

    by IndustryKiller!

    Why would I read a prequel novel to a movie that I didn't like? That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. If I see the movie, don't like it, why would I want to know more about the world in which it exists?

  • July 2, 2007, 3:34 p.m. CST

    The Prequel Novel is adecent read

    by RevSick

    it focuses mostly on the TF's and honestly could/should have been the actual movie IMO.

  • July 2, 2007, 3:36 p.m. CST

    something tells me it's the movie Murphy and DeSanto

    by RevSick

    wanted to make, but Bay said no way.

  • July 2, 2007, 3:45 p.m. CST


    by stvnhthr

    I've tried watching Thundercats, Speed Racer, Transformers, Voltron, He-Man, and GI Joe and they are just terrible drawn out toy commercials. Thank goodness this movie is something different. The property sounds intact, transforming robots, that is what is cool.

  • July 2, 2007, 3:53 p.m. CST

    Mori explained that he enjoyed

    by Neo Zeed

    The intentional, over the top aspect of Bad Boys 2. If you don't dig that, well then you don't. What I REALLY don't understand is Moriarty saying that TF: The Animated Movie had ugly animation. The level of detail in that movie is awesome from all the robots, gun battles, environments, etc. So the story was messy, but the ART was awesome.

  • July 2, 2007, 4:01 p.m. CST


    by messi <p> Not great but if true then a decent direction, i thought about it, hasbro will want a new design for pt 2 to sell more toys, what better way than to make them more G1, not exactly but more leaning towards it.

  • July 2, 2007, 4:01 p.m. CST

    The animation is pretty good in places in others

    by superninja

    they seem like they're being lazy. I agree that for its time it was way ahead of the curve.

  • July 2, 2007, 4:02 p.m. CST


    by messi

    If you enjoyed Jurassic Park or Spidey 1 then you might like this film.

  • July 2, 2007, 4:03 p.m. CST

    anyone remember Flight of the Navigator?

    by Kloipy

    that movie was freakin awesome when I was 5

  • July 2, 2007, 4:05 p.m. CST

    Can Megatron get his face back?

    by superninja

    Or is he dead as a doornail?

  • July 2, 2007, 4:08 p.m. CST

    megan fox

    by slappy jones

    is pretty but not pretty enough to get he free pass she seems to be getting for her appalling performance in this film. her reaction looks..her line delivery....its porno level quality.

  • July 2, 2007, 4:14 p.m. CST

    Messi, that Starscream toy is just a repaint to...

    by dead youngling

    appease hardcore fans. Nothing to do with a sequel. BUT, I haven't seen the movie yet. However, as a huge toy collector, I'm pretty sure it's just a repaint, with nothing further implied.

  • July 2, 2007, 4:19 p.m. CST

    That is much closer

    by RevSick

    I think it's the reshaped head that does it for me, it's just that simple of a change, the body fine whatever, but that face is just a scoch more Starscream, now if they do a more G1 centrick body/head for Megatron booya!

  • July 2, 2007, 4:25 p.m. CST

    Is Cyberton gone the way of Alderaan in the movie?

    by superninja


  • July 2, 2007, 4:30 p.m. CST

    even Bernie Mac??

    by kafka07

    holy shit then it must be a hundred times better 'an Armageddon!

  • July 2, 2007, 4:31 p.m. CST

    better 'an Armageddon??

    by kafka07

    No way, could never happen. ARMAGEDDON RULEZZ! (in Bizarro-World)

  • July 2, 2007, 4:37 p.m. CST


    by Mr_X

    would like some cheese to go with your whine?

  • July 2, 2007, 4:38 p.m. CST

    I think the ambitious nature of TF: Animated..

    by Neo Zeed

    more than makes up for the inconsistent moments. The character design is very detailed as opposed to the simplified figures that usually comes with animation. It's like an anime (of the non kiddy variety) where they attempt to give you a comic book level of illustrations come to life.

  • July 2, 2007, 4:41 p.m. CST

    Is this the one with the "giant fuck-off robots"?

    by Lando Griffin

    Is that what the kids are calling it? The retarded ones in the UK at least?

  • July 2, 2007, 4:45 p.m. CST

    What can I do Mr. X?

    by IndustryKiller!

    It's all I got thus far. It's at least better than being passive.

  • July 2, 2007, 4:46 p.m. CST

    Oh and Mr. X

    by IndustryKiller!

    I'll hold off on the cheese, there's plenty of that to go around in Transformers. ;)

  • July 2, 2007, 4:49 p.m. CST

    HWCBN is right, BOURNE ULTIMATUM trailer is the tits

    by Yack Backer

    Wow... I almost forgot what a smart, pulse-pounding actioner looked like. TINO! TINO! TINO!

  • July 2, 2007, 5:03 p.m. CST

    set some thing straight

    by sokitome

    ok first off Jurassic Park was garbage after the first act, The Rock, armageddon, Bad boys, Badboys 2 were all meh to meh+1; The island and Pearl Harbor are two of the worse movies i have seen in my entire life, and i have seen a shitload of movies. I will give this a chance not because of Bay but because of ILM and Spielberg. oh and IAMTHOMAS, to put Bay in the same sentence as Fellini, KUrosawa, and BErgman makes u the BIGGEST FUCKING IDIOT ever to post on this site. seriously

  • July 2, 2007, 5:06 p.m. CST

    Gen X becoming grumpy old men?

    by Neil McCauleys Crew

    "Back in the day our Optimus Prime certainly did NOT have flames and step in flowers saying my bad!"

  • July 2, 2007, 5:08 p.m. CST

    Don't be dissin' DEATH WISH III, Bodet

    by Yack Backer

    What is that, a French name? When Bronson pulls out that elephant gun and says "Dis is Wlldey" everything is right with the world. Don't believe me, watch this nugget of vintage gun marketing:<p>

  • July 2, 2007, 5:16 p.m. CST

    One more quickie Bronson DEATH WISH III clip

    by Yack Backer

    Who needs Triple-A?

  • July 2, 2007, 5:19 p.m. CST

    just to balance out the Transformer love...

    by BadMrWonka

    here's the CNN can count on them to keep their brains turned on...<p>(CNN) -- The most expensive toy commercial ever made, "Transformers," Michael Bay's live-action film about the surprisingly durable Hasbro product line, is long, loud and altogether less than meets the eye.<p> A blockbuster for 8-year-olds -- and, I guess, those older boys who never grew up -- "Transformers" will buzz its youthful demographic (the effects are incredible) but leave the rest of us wondering if Hollywood could possibly aim lower.<p> For the uninitiated, the Transformers are sentient machines from outer space. To pass undetected on Earth they assume the form of everyday consumer objects -- mostly, here, American trucks and cars -- but in their true configuration they are colossal robot warriors with the firepower to match.<p> The Autobots are the good guys, led by sanctimonious Optimus Prime. Then there are the evil Decepticons, led by Megatron, whose role is basically to blow stuff up.<p> Despite their name, the Decepticons show themselves first, with a devastating (and oh-so-topical) strike on a U.S. military base in Qatar. It's not the massacre of the troops that troubles the Pentagon so much as a stealth hack attack on their computer network. Could the Iranians have developed such cyber smarts? And where's "Die Hard's" John McClane when you need him?<p> Meanwhile, back in the U.S.A., high school geek Sam Witwicky (rising star Shia LaBeouf) is the befuddled new owner of a beaten-up yellow Camaro with a matchmaking streak. Like a certain VW love bug, the car starts and stalls at will, and likes to select golden oldies as romantic cues. It's only when Sam sees it slip away one night and transform into an Autobot named Bumblebee that he realizes this must be more than a quirky optional extra.<p> A filmmaker who has profitably plundered his own arrested adolescence in movies like "Bad Boys," "The Rock" and "Armageddon," director Michael Bay got his fingers burned two years ago with the relatively sophisticated sci-fi flop "The Island." It's obvious he's not going to be caught overestimating his audience twice.<p> Even so, Bay is the wrong man for the job, something producer Steven Spielberg should have known. Bay's penchant for designer machismo and piledriver action (not to mention wholesale product placement) doesn't sit well with the Transformers' appropriately juvenile comedy and a sub-Spielbergian suburban teen romance. Innocence and wonder -- the type of human traits fundamental to Spielberg's vision of childhood -- are not in Bay's tool kit.<p> Megan Fox, for example, who plays Sam's high school crush Mikaela, looks and sounds exactly like the 20-year-old FHM babe she really is. Mind you, unless they're moms, all Bay's women look and sound this way (just ask Scarlett Johansson).<p> But it's military hardware that really revs his engine. Bay shoots weaponry in an orgasmic rapture, always in slow motion and against the sunset. Not surprisingly, the military was happy to play its part when it came to supplying props for what often resembles a teenage recruitment film. Even the movie's theme -- hollow words about victory through sacrifice -- is pitched to this constituency.<p> Setting about the action sequences with real vigor, Bay seems to imagine he's remaking "War of the Worlds," or maybe embarking on "Terminator 4." And to be fair, the Transformers in motion are something to see -- as with several of this year's event pictures, the effects guys have surpassed themselves.<p> But the illusion is shattered whenever the 'bots start talking or the action stops. Bay tries to gloss over the infantile plot, but it would take a lighter, wittier touch to square the movie's pedestrian script with its excitable vision of impending auto-geddon.<p> At least John Turturro, who shows up at the halfway mark as an unsympathetic government operative, seems to have understood that "manic" is the only appropriate response. First he's stripped to his underpants, then a monstrous machine relieves itself all over him. After 144 minutes of "Herbie Goes to War," I knew just how he felt.

  • July 2, 2007, 5:19 p.m. CST

    what's wrong with VADAKIN and others...

    by Executor

    I vaguely remember the Transformers as a kid...I know the toys, not really their interpersonal relationships. (Because, they were...well, toys. And I don't need a backstory for toys.) But the movie was great. And Vadakin, comparing this movie's plotline to "what if spider-man 3 was the first one" is ludicrous. It's easy to figure out the dynamics and motivations for the Autobots and Decepticons, everyone is introduced quite nicely. So maybe we don't get a backstory that Starcream once stole Megatron's date to the Cybertron prom or whatever, but the baggage you're bringing to the movie is your has nothing to do with how the movie performs.<p> For those of you screaming for more of an "origin" movie...the average moviegoer isn't going to care about a war on the planet Cybertron. We care when it affects us, our planet. Which is why once they get to Earth to save us, the story kicks in.<p> It's really a fun, entertaining movie.

  • July 2, 2007, 5:21 p.m. CST

    Mori - The Rock makes absolute perfect sense

    by Tom Whitaker

    You remember those marines he got sent in with? To do all the ass-kicking heroics while he gave them the support they needed? The ones that all got shot, leaving Nic and Sean to do it themselves?</p> <p>As much as I enjoyed Transformers, it certainly works better than 'eBay'. And 'Bad Boys II' is a horrific piece of shit.</p> <p> 1. The Rock / 2. Transformers / 3. Bad Boys / 4. The Island ....and then the shitty ones. You know this to be true.

  • July 2, 2007, 5:24 p.m. CST

    HotRod should've been hung as a traitor

    by tk 421

    That bastard killed Prime in the original movie and he got away with it! When the Quintessons (sp?) resurrected Prime, they should have brought HotRod to trial as the collaborator he was and hung'em. The original animated movie also had that wierd "female" transformer thing where we were supposed to find a robot with metal tits hot. That movie sucked.

  • July 2, 2007, 5:39 p.m. CST

    The moviegoing public continues to eat itself

    by IndustryKiller!

    People continue to get dumber and demand less and less of themselves and everyone else. That's the only moral that can come out of this clusterfuck.

  • July 2, 2007, 5:43 p.m. CST

    It's "Bah Weep Gragnah Weep Ni Ni Bom"

    by ZeroCorpse

    There's no "bong" in the Transformers movie.

  • July 2, 2007, 5:44 p.m. CST

    I think the majority of the populous go to movies...

    by RevSick

    ...for one reason alone, to turn their brains off for two/two and a half hours. Face it those of us who look for more intelegent fare are in the minority on that.

  • July 2, 2007, 5:48 p.m. CST

    Learn how to critique a film

    by EjkoUSC

    1) Prior to Transformers, the only Bay film you really liked was HIS WORST MOVIE. Bad Boys II? Are you joking? I understand if you dont like Bay movies, but if you cite BB2 as the exception then you seriously dont understand cinema Which leads me to point two... Your criticisms of The Rock are 100 percent revocable. Stan is lame in a gunfight, it is not established that he CANT drive, AND he handles chemicals witch professional expertise during the mission! What astounds me is that of all possible avenues of criticism, you choose three things and completely and selectively pervert them as if no one is to notice. Oh well. You're still a more intelligent critic than Harry. Cant remember, did you like Pirates 2 and 3? Cause they were lame and anyone who did like them officially is lame and ought not be allowed to go to the movies.

  • July 2, 2007, 5:50 p.m. CST

    I'm going to see it

    by Gozu

    There have been enough generally positive reviews for me to be interested, but each one of them seems to be prefaced by "I know you hate Michael Bay, but he isn't that bad..." Damn apologists. Also, I really want to see what this "Cloverfield" trailer.

  • July 2, 2007, 5:51 p.m. CST

    This movie is retarded as Grimlock

    by iwontwin

    Just kidding, I haven't seen it yet.

  • July 2, 2007, 5:53 p.m. CST

    Hey Soylent.....

    by RevSick

    ...perhaps you shouldn't take yourself so seriously as to critique people for their spelling on a fucking forum asshat. The point is valid requardless of one misspelled word. Most people go to a movie to turn their brains off for two hours, I never said that it was a bad thing or a good thing, I was making the point that people who want thought provoking entertainment are in the minority. So before you make yourself out to be a complete jerk-off why don't you come up with a response that is more than a spelling correction before you post.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:01 p.m. CST


    by EjkoUSC

    I agree about the corrected spelling bit only because I typoed the hell out of my posting. Maybe we'd be at odds if I rocked my post, but I didnt. Otherwise I gotta say that I don't think people want to TURN THEIR BRAINS OFF. Not me. Not the people I know. Not my passive-average movie-going mom. I think people do want to feel something. They do want to be surprised. They prefer to be provoked by a movie. People dont mind THINKING. They even prefer it. But in the case of Pirates 3, I got a headache trying to keep up with that mess. Thats the wrong type of thinking. I dont think people want to pretend their idiots for 11 bucks. In fact, they prefer to feel as if they are slightly more intelligent then they really are.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:03 p.m. CST bastards!

    by DarthCorleone

    I think I'm going to have to actually see this at the theater now.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:08 p.m. CST

    IndustryKiller - i don't understand why

    by pjdon

    people can't enjoy this kind of movie and enjoy more intelligent movies at the same time.<p>RevSick said that some of us enjoy more intelligent fair.<p>I am one of those, but yet i enjoy this kind of movie too.<p>There are some people (i work with a lot of them) who only like this kind of movie. They also thought Norbit and Scary Movie 4 where the funniest movies of all time. These are what is known as retarded people.<p>Then there are people who only like high brow movies, foreign films and things that chalenge the viewer in some way.<p>I happen to like both. I think the majority of us do.<p>In my film loving head Bay is the antichrist, he goes against everything that says film is a valid and intelligent art form.<p>Yet I still watch his films.<p>Why?<p>Well because sometimes I want to watch a good film and sometimes I want to watch a big silly movie.<p>It's the same as the way sometimes i want to read a nice book and sometimes I want to play a violent action packed videogame.<p>I don't believe this kind of film is the death of an artform like some say.<p>The two polar opsite types of film can co-exsist. Smaller films get made because the studios have buckets of cash from big films to fund them.<p>All through the history of cinema studio produced crap has been at the forefront of entertainment. Every year for the last 100 years someone has probably said 'oh this is it films are all going to be shit now'. I have never found that the more 'big' films that come out the less smaller projects get made.<p>If you look at every year then there is more big buget movies but also every year more independent films get made and more foreign films get released over here.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:14 p.m. CST


    by EjkoUSC

    Oh no 'these people' is based on a quick poll I took. I took a census real quick to ascertain why people go to the movies. Almost everyone in the world responded so the numbers are in. My statement reflects those findings. I thought it would be hard, but if you really book it you can really produce a massive census in no time!

  • July 2, 2007, 6:15 p.m. CST

    The later in the day it gets, the angrier everyone is!

    by ye olde shiza

    As always, the forum devolves into people clawing each other's eyes out. We're all acting like the Decepticons! We should be more like the Autobots! We're like Devastator refusing to form in '86 movie. No love! Starscream throwing Megatron out of the spaceship into space?! Insanity?! If only you people had learned anything from the '86 movie instead of bashing its toy-selling tactics and animation style, you might be able to have a peaceful discourse today. Pshaw.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:16 p.m. CST

    EjkoUSC - most people I know

    by pjdon

    really don't like thinking.<p>In my office their favorite films of the last while are Wild Hogs, Norbit and all the crap non-descrit horror films that have emerged over the summer.<p>They always go on about how funny Little Man is.<p>As a film lover, it is very painful. I can't even recomend films, if something sounds slightly different they actually say stuff like 'oh i wouldn't like that sort of thing'.<p>In my local video shop they have big stickers on all foreign films warning that they contain subtitles.<p>If any of you have ever worked in a video shop you will understand why. A regular complaint is 'hey, this film was in a different language and i aint reading no subtitles, gimme my money back!'<p>The general public are retarded.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:19 p.m. CST


    by EjkoUSC

    Alright despite my census, you may be right. Oh holyshit a talkbacker who doesn't need to get defensive when somone has an opposing view!

  • July 2, 2007, 6:35 p.m. CST

    instruction - it's not simply

    by pjdon

    about shitty and good movies. Bay's films are not trying to be high brow and failing. They are trying to be big and dumb and they suceed in doing this.<p>A film is generally sucsesful if the director achieves what he set out to do.<p>So with TF Bay has suceeded in doing what he set out to do.<p>He could never do what say Pedro Almodóvar does but then he doesn't want to.<p>I'm sure Pedro Almodóvar couldn't make a Bay film if he tried.<p>The point is I have two different hobbies, one is watching Bay style films one is watching Pedro Almodóvar style films.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:35 p.m. CST


    by ye olde shiza

    I used to work for a Blockbuster, and you're right about the subtitles ... but as a viewer and a filmlover, now, I find it disturbing that I get asked every time I go to rent a movie, "You know this is in subtitles, right?" <br><br> It shouldn't be a big deal, I guess, but I see it like you see it, I imagine. Even fellow employees I worked with would be recommending shit like 'Date Movie,' and I kept thinking: WHY? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I would try to dissuade people, but no, it never worked. Why did Norbit make so much money at the box office, followed by Epic Movie? Or maybe it was vice-versa ... well, because the public likes shitty movies! Sure, they like some good movies, too, but there's no discernment ... there's no protest. It's just, "I'm gonna watch a movie. What's out? Some thing with this dude making fun of the pirates and all that? Far out!" <br><br> It's like Idiocracy, come to life. Why do shows like Suntan Shop or whatever the fuck it's called get greenlit? Because people like stupid shit. It's a fact of life. I hate it. Most people hate it. But we have to face it. Stupid shit makes a majority of America happy. It took six years for people to turn against George W. Bush, for Pete's sake ... imagine how long of a learning curb there is for shitty movies, then ... someone would have to watch Norbit 6,000 times before they got bored with Eddie in a fatsuit.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:38 p.m. CST

    Some films do cover both bases

    by pjdon

    You can say that Speilberg makes big movies but that they are intelligent.<p>But it's a sliding scale and Bay fits at one extreme.<p>There should always be a place for both extremes otherwize we wouldn't get the movies which fit in the middle.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:44 p.m. CST

    All arts have a rainbow of flavors

    by ye olde shiza

    Once when I interviewed a hip-hop artist who was known for attracting a backpack crowd and intelligent rhymes, he said that the rap game is just like any other community. You have your thugs, 50 Cent, and you have the intellectuals. You have variations in between. <br><br> Movies are the same. There will always be big, goofy Michael Bay movies. There will always be lowbrow slapstick comedy. There will always be art cinema that some people just don't understand a lick of, or care to watch. Vice versa. <br><br> I'm still pissed that I get asked if I know that foreign films have subtitles, though. I mean, I rented Pan's Labrynth and Apocalypto, and recently, Curse of the Golden Flower ... all three times! As an employee, when do you stop pandering to the lower intelligence quotient and try to elevate? I guess that's my only problem with shit cinema is that it panders ... there's no evolution; no effort. Let's just throw a bunch of 'splosions together, boys. Call it a night! Yeehaw.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:46 p.m. CST

    ye olde shiza - I do think

    by pjdon

    if these people where forced then they would enjoy more intelligent films.<p>Loads of people used to come into my video shop and rent some shitty new release.<p>They would complain that they don't make good movies anymore.<p>They say that they used to like films like Taxi Driver and that they don't make them type of films anymore.<p>But when you point out that there are still just as many good films made and try to get them to rent something which isn't a big release with a big star in it they won't.<p>And when they do they complain because it ws 'weird' or 'confusing' and rent Little Man again.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:50 p.m. CST

    they ask people if they know there's subtitles?

    by Bouncy X

    thats funny, i mean why do they even care? ur renting from them so all that matters is you gave your money. and if you just meant friends/family would say that to you then again who cares, YOU are watching the movie not them. people are funny.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:50 p.m. CST

    Can Harry offer his Transformers and Die Hard 4 reviews

    by BDuncan

    That was an excellent analysis by Mori and I look forward to also reading his review of Die Hard 4, plus it'd be great if Harry can offer his own analysis of both Transformers and Die Hard 4.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:55 p.m. CST

    Michael Bay's Considerations

    by EjkoUSC

    I think you just have to take into account what matters to Bay in the first place. If you watched On the Lot, his criticisms almost strictly stuck to the contestants sense of photography and style. Bay is all about jampacking each frame with as much proffesionalism and style as possible. Every shot must be the greatest shot ever photographed. A couple chatting at a diner has to be shot as if it were Lawrence of Arabia (see Pearl Harbor). My main criticism of Bay is that he DOES think we're dumb. He does think that EVERY SHOT needs to be the greatest eye candy we've ever seen, otherwise our attention wont hold. He cant just set the camera still. He cant just tone down on the music. Often its at the disservice to the scene itself. Its hard to get intimate with the characters because he never brings them down to planet earth. They must always be seen as Cinema Gods (or at least charicatures). Throw enough shit at a screen some of it is bound to stick. I think Bay is brilliant at milking the emotion out of his drama if only cause the dial is already turned up to 11 (out of 10) at all times. A long winded way of saying the man lacks subtlty. You could suggest the same of Spielberg. Bay is also probably the type of guy who slaps a lady's ass for hello.

  • July 2, 2007, 6:57 p.m. CST

    Look movies are an escape for most people...

    by RevSick

    ...hence why they just want to go and shut off their brains. Sometimes I want to be able to do that but since I spent so long doing reviews and studying film it's hard for me to shut down and just enjoy big dumb splosions.

  • July 2, 2007, 7 p.m. CST

    If The Godfather, Taxi driver, Apocalypse Now

    by pjdon

    Easy Rider or The French Connection came out today then they wouldn't get big nation wide releases, they wouldn't be big hits like they where.<p>And very few people I know would sit through them. This includes the same people who loved them on their release.<p>My dad always says he loves those films but if you show him somehting now that isn't mainstream or typical then he's all like 'what was that about, that was shit, arty bollocks'

  • July 2, 2007, 7:05 p.m. CST


    by ye olde shiza

    I think it's just hilarious ... not really. I mean, why even have a foreign section if you're going to ask people if they know the movie has subtitles. Why not just lump all movies together, alphabetically, and put a giant flaming book sticker on the front of subtitled films with the warning, 'You may be forced to watch moving pictures and read all at once.' <br><br> I wanted to test it out by renting 'Passion of the Christ.' I started lumping stereotypes together, thinking that it would be okay in a conservative video store clerk's opinion if I rented a movie about Jesus that was subtitled, but not okay if I rented a movie about two teens having sex with an older woman on a roadtrip in subtitles. <br><br> Alas ... I have yet to complete the experiment. I just can't bring myself to rent 'Passion of the Christ' again.

  • July 2, 2007, 7:06 p.m. CST

    Bouncy X - in the video shop i worked

    by pjdon

    my boss told me to warn people of subtitles. He told me not to recommend films to the wrong people.<p>It is very tempting to try and get every person who comes in to rent something different that will chalenge them.<p>The amount of people i tried to get to watch Old Boy or Save the Green Planet. It wasn't worht it, they just complained and wanted another film for free.<p>A lot of people get very pissed if they get a movie home and find its going to involve them reading.<p>THe annoying thing is you know they wouldn;t mind once they started. ou read subtitles without thinking about it. Half the time you remember a line that was in a subtitle as if you heard it. THese people all watch Big Brother on tv which some episodes are pcked with subtitles and they don't even notice.

  • July 2, 2007, 7:10 p.m. CST

    Hey Moriarty, question:

    by Orbots Commander

    How much influence, as far as his story-telling sensibilities, do you think Spielberg may have had on Bay during the movie's production? I ask this, not only because Mr. Spielberg is a producer on this flick, but also since you compared TRANSFORMERS to JURASSIC PARK.

  • July 2, 2007, 7:10 p.m. CST

    People have most definitely lowered standards ...

    by ye olde shiza

    Although, when I think about it ... didn't kids in the 50s love to watch monster flicks and popcorn westerns? I think there's always been an audience for goof-movies. I think you're right, though, pjdon. It seems like the business side of things ate the other parts of filmdom. Since studios realize they make more money by fasttracking shitty movies, letting them run for four weeks, and then replacing them with another hackfest, there's no room in the cinema for a good movie, anymore. Or if there is, it gets released in 300 theaters first, to see if anyone will respond to something that doesn't have a killer robot.

  • July 2, 2007, 7:10 p.m. CST

    EjkoUSC - i don't include Speilberg

    by pjdon

    in the Bay department. Speilberg can be restrained and everything he does has a reason and a truth behind it.<p>If you watch the performances and cinematography in Munich, Minority Report of even War of the Worlds there is true artistic meat to them.<p>There is substance. Bay does not know what substance means.

  • July 2, 2007, 7:13 p.m. CST

    ye olde shiza if you go back and watch a lot

    by pjdon

    of crap that was made in the past. Endless monster movies and kiddie westerns and cheesy horror that where made from the 20's through the 50's and on are much worse and brain numbing that TF.

  • July 2, 2007, 7:18 p.m. CST

    Spielberg Vs. Bay

    by EjkoUSC

    I never said Spielberg lacks substance. I said that one could say he lacks subtlty. I think when you pitch a movie to Bay, he responds to directing movies he can see. He will take a job because of what he could do visually. I think Spielberg's heart is in a more accesible place to people like us. He responds to the way he feels when he reads something. He wants us to feel something. I applaud Spielberg for his ability (especially lately mygod) to spice up his style. He is taking risks NOW in his career. I mean Minority Report looks like it was directed by a young man. He still lacks subtlety. Its not the worst criticism in the world. There are far greater things to lack.

  • July 2, 2007, 7:21 p.m. CST

    I figured ...

    by ye olde shiza

    I'm just trying to get a feel for the big picture. It seems like people are mad that Michael Bay and Uwe Boll make movies, but then we all watch them, regardless. And then you're saying that people have lowered there standards, and maybe they have, but then again ... if people have been enjoying and watching shitty movies since the 20s, what's the difference now? Is there any? The Covenant is just the Wolfman movie of today's generation ...

  • July 2, 2007, 7:27 p.m. CST

    May be recalling a scene from the cartoon ...

    by ye olde shiza

    But I have a memory of the Constructicons being all pissed off at one another and even upon command, only half of them wanted to form Devastator

  • July 2, 2007, 7:30 p.m. CST


    by micturatingbenjamin

    You and I should sit down for a pitcher and talk about 'guilty pleasure flicks'. This Transformers thingy? Probably gonna be a 'guilty pleasure flick'...And there are movies that are so bad they're good. El Topo. Critters. Hell, I watched the Lost Boys again, and I was almost laughing my ass off at some of the stuff in the movie. <p>Buddy, I trust your judgment on this flick, because you are SO right about Bad Boys II. That shit cracks me up every fucking time... "And you two need Jesus." C.H.U.D. and Monster Squad...the creme de la creme of 'so bad they're good'. Let's not pretend that Transformers: The Movie was good. Because I saw that shit when I was little and was like...Oh no...That fucking race car is the new leader of the Autobots?! WEAK! And who's this broad-former in pink!? My sister wouldn't even buy that! Anyway. Good review, I think you're off base with the 'so bad it's good'.

  • July 2, 2007, 7:32 p.m. CST

    EjkoUSC - exactly what i always say

    by pjdon

    Minority Report, and Munich feel like they are directed by a young guy. A young maverick.<p>Speilberg can still be fresh and exciting even after being fresh and exciting multiple times in the 70's 80's and 90's.

  • July 2, 2007, 7:37 p.m. CST

    Searching a little ...

    by ye olde shiza

    Doesn't really matter much, but I can't find any mention online of an episode where the Constructicons refused to form Devastator. I withdraw that remark from the recorded history of AICN! Although it seems like it would fit in with their individual personality types ...

  • July 2, 2007, 7:54 p.m. CST

    Enough of this Bleached out BS Spielberg

    by EjkoUSC

    That being said I am starting to get annoyed with all this colo by-pass bleach shit he started with Private Ryan. The only movie he's made since then without it was Terminal. Will be good to see him go back to some normalcy with Indy 4. Still prefer 80's Spielberg in a way but its really something that he's playing around with his craft now that he's older more so than when he was starting out.

  • July 2, 2007, 8:04 p.m. CST

    The '86 "film"

    by Bob of the Shire

    I find it hard to believe that people find that movie good. I think it's an enjoyable in the same way Plan 9 is enjoyable, purely from a "hilariously bad" standpoint. They fight chinese robots with english accents on a planet made out of garbage to Weird Al's "Dare to be Stupid" for fucks sake. If you take that shit seriously, you need to be put in a mental ward.

  • July 2, 2007, 8:08 p.m. CST

    All the music in the '86 movie

    by tk 421

    Was completely embarassing. I can hardly watch the animated movie when that 80's fluff starts playing. Come on, that whole "you got the touch!" is stupid. Especially after Dirk Diggler did it as his demo.

  • July 2, 2007, 8:15 p.m. CST

    EjkoUSC - he never rests

    by pjdon

    wheras most big directors of the 70's and 80's still make good films they feel like an old person trying to make a film.<p>Scorsesse seems intent on trying to please the Oscar crowd instead of trying to make something personal like Taxi Driver.<p>Even Ridley Scott wo makes great movies like Gladiator doesn't have the same originallity he displayed with Blade Runner or Alien.<p>Speilberg makes every movie like it is his first. He takes risks and doesn't try to simply re-create the success he once had.

  • July 2, 2007, 8:35 p.m. CST

    Are all the giant robots boy robots?

    by Bronx Cheer

    Or are there some girl robots too?

  • July 2, 2007, 8:37 p.m. CST

    I Look at it this way.....

    by closeencounter

    After Bay made The Island (ugh) and Armageddon (double ugh) there was nowhere else to go but up. Hopefully he's learned from his mistakes.

  • July 2, 2007, 8:42 p.m. CST

    Supercowbell IV The Quest For More Cowbell

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    Nothing, really. Kind of like Ender I just think it's funny to type your username.

  • July 2, 2007, 8:44 p.m. CST


    by BadMrWonka

    or he can just go sideways...

  • July 2, 2007, 8:57 p.m. CST

    closeencounter - Bay wouldn't consider

    by pjdon

    them mistakes.<p>You act like he wants to make something small and meaningful with depth and heart but keeps fucking it up and accidently making films like TF.<p>I am happy with Bay staying shit, another director can fulfil my need for intelligent cinema. Bay should stay where he is, where he belongs.

  • July 2, 2007, 8:57 p.m. CST


    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Bourne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <P> Where's the Talkback for this tightness? Sweet lord I hope this one gives the series a proper send-off. Looks good to me, but those trailers can be crafty. C'mon August 3rd! This is the flick I have been waiting for this summer. Seriously.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:07 p.m. CST

    HeWhoCannotBeNamed - look at

    by pjdon

    the cover of this months Empire magazine Matt Damon looks so hard he could beat you up with his eye lids.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:17 p.m. CST

    59% at Rotten Tomatoes...not that really means anything

    by tile_mcgillus

    The negative ones are saying it is too dumb to be taken as just fun and the positive ones are saying just shut up and enjoy the ride. I guess I was asking to have my cake and eat it too...A good script and cool action. I am crossing my fingers for the sequel to be written by adults.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:25 p.m. CST

    Yack & pjdon

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Empire cover kicks ass like it should. Scott Glenn is in this and that makes me happy. Plus, and don't mock me, but Joan Allen? If I wasn't happily married and the opportunity presented itself? I'd hit that and treat it right. Mature. I bet it's pristine downstairs. Lord, I think I just channeled some BSB there. I'm a pig, but damn if I'm not excited about this flick. It better be righteous.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:26 p.m. CST

    dead youngling i know its a repaint but with bio

    by messi

    hasbro generally decides this shit so if it's true i wouldn't be surprised.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:27 p.m. CST

    Bourne on Empire

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    "Come here. I just want to talk to you. Just talk. I promise I won't end you."

  • July 2, 2007, 9:28 p.m. CST

    How about the hardback book to the neck?

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Love it.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:29 p.m. CST

    HeWhoCannotBeNamed - there is one actor I

    by pjdon

    am most excited about in Bourne 3, who i consider could become one of the true greats and has the same presense as a young De Niro....<p>Paddy Considine...<p>Anyone who hasn't seen Dead Mans Shoes or 24 Hour Party People should go and check them out now, the man is a genius.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:31 p.m. CST

    Mo, that was, without a doubt,

    by Boober

    one of the best reviews I've read on this site. Period.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:32 p.m. CST

    supercowbell IV the quest for more cowbell...

    by pjdon

    ...only the attractive ones though.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:36 p.m. CST

    Dead Man's Shoes is exceptional

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Those who have not seen this film, see it now. Worthy of a purchase. Excellent performance by Cosidine. Just excellent. <P> And let's just dispense with the name dropping on this Bourne installment. The whole cast on this third flick is great. Can't wait. Clearly.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:40 p.m. CST

    HeWhoCannotBeNamed - hope they leave

    by pjdon

    it at this one though. I am pretty much certain it will be at least as good as Supremacy and if it is we would have a perfect little trilogy.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:46 p.m. CST


    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Indeed. As much as I love Bourne, I would prefer a tight wrap-up via this third and hopefully final film. We all know what happens when they push it to part 4. I especially don't want to see another Bourne starring Damon 15-20 years from now. Hope that trend fades away soon...

  • July 2, 2007, 9:51 p.m. CST

    This is great...

    by Boober

    All the AICN reviewers are treating this movie like its a girl that's so hot, they just can't say know when she flirts, even though they know they will fall in love and be heart-broken when she never calls them... snicker.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:53 p.m. CST

    say "no"....sheesh, proofreading ftw.

    by Boober

    ftw indeed.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:54 p.m. CST

    What up, pjdon!

    by lost.rules

    It's nice to see you in the TB. Bourne should be sweet trilogy. Hope T-formers is good. Hope, Harry Potter doesn't get slighted cause everyone is going to watch T-formers instead.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:55 p.m. CST


    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    You just made my wife and I laugh. Nice one oh witty one.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:58 p.m. CST

    I keep it quite on the HP front.

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    But I love those flicks. The more Rickman, Oldman and Gleeson, the better. Bring it on.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:59 p.m. CST


    by Shermdawg

    SHIA RULED!!!<br><br> The film however? Not so much. In fact it was even worse than the script. <br><br> Regarding the trailers, Chuck and Larry got a bigger response than "Cloverfield" which most people in the audience thought was titled "Bad Robot". :P <br><br> And what the fuck is up with that damn four minute Vince Gill Fruit of the Loom "Daddy was the Apple of my Eye" bullshit that Screenvisions is torturing us with before the flicks start? Jeebus. Just stick to tv and movie trailers.

  • July 2, 2007, 9:59 p.m. CST

    over under

    by MeshGearFoxx

    Im guessing at least 2 sequels. the first one might be ok but the second one will be half-ass.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:02 p.m. CST


    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    dammit, lack of edit function and my lack of proofreading. *sigh*

  • July 2, 2007, 10:03 p.m. CST


    by tile_mcgillus

    Worse than the script is that possible? I sure the fuck hope not.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:03 p.m. CST

    Hey lost.rules I've been devoting

    by pjdon

    a lot of time to the LOST TB. Surprized I havent seen you over there much considering your name and all.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:05 p.m. CST

    Oh and I AM PISSED, the Mt.Everest closing shot...

    by Shermdawg

    ...IS NOT in the flick.<br><br> Lame.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:07 p.m. CST

    Executor you're an idiot

    by messi

    if they wouldn't care then the cartoon logically should not have been popular and it wasn't because it was transforming toys, go bots had the same thing but only one became a cult icon. the character relationships is what made the thing memorable, everyone remembers starscream always trying to usurp megatron, and putting more of it into the film would have made it even more entertaining.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:21 p.m. CST

    YackBacker - It isn't out till the 27th July

    by pjdon

    here and i have a baby due on.......<p>27th July!<p>There is a good chance that I might not get to see it at all :(<p>I just hope it is still on in theatres in a couple of months and I can catch a showing.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:24 p.m. CST

    I NEED A CREDIT CARD!!!!!!!!!

    by lost.rules

    LEFT CHEEK! LEFT CHEEK! Haven't seen it yet, but that clip made me laugh. In a good way.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:27 p.m. CST

    Congrats on the baby pjdon.

    by lost.rules

    Just remember, Dr.Hibbert says a healthy baby can go for 50,000 dollars on the black market.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:28 p.m. CST

    YackBacker - thanks

    by pjdon

    but the girlfriend is a big fan too and i'd feel guilty if i went without her.<p>Even though it is not the film i want to see most in the world it is the only one i believe would be a completely different experiance on dvd.<p>I only have a standard dvd player, normal old school 22 inch tv (not even widescreen) and no sound set up to speak of.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:32 p.m. CST

    lost.rules - cheers...

    by pjdon

    $50,000 you say? Mmmmmm....<p>...I'm sure the Gfriend would be angry at first but I'll just buy her some make up and show interest in cusion covers and other such things and she'll forget about it in no time.<p>$50,000 could buy a lot of tickets to see TF.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:33 p.m. CST

    Where does Prime's trailer go?

    by bralli

    You ever noticed how in the cartoon the trailer would just magically pull behind Optimus whenever he changed to vehicle form? The trailer always bugged me.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:33 p.m. CST

    Allow me, DogSoup, to be the first:

    by DOGSOUP


  • July 2, 2007, 10:44 p.m. CST

    Ah, Yackbacker...

    by Boober

    the trick is not in finding the orgasm in the girl, it is getting the orgasmic girl to find you. I suggest you look for women in the medical profession or teaching profession. Freak ratio = 97%.

  • July 2, 2007, 10:46 p.m. CST

    YackBacker - not allowed to fly in the

    by pjdon

    3rd trimester, Jack in LOST taught me that. Just as Locke taught me about swadling.<p>I remember not getting round to seeing ROTK when that came out and caught it nearly 3 months later in the very last showing in any cinema in the whole of Ireland. Lucky.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:06 p.m. CST

    YackBacker - does he have a trialer in the

    by pjdon


  • July 2, 2007, 11:14 p.m. CST

    Boober - my girlfriend has an

    by pjdon

    orgasm if you look at her in a sugestive way, it's brilliant, i found the holy grail of women.<p>It suits me fine. No holding on thinking of baseball for me.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:20 p.m. CST

    Yack, forget all that...

    by Boober

    1. Not all doorbells ring when pressed. 2. Not all girls will relax enough to let you effectively ring a working doorbell. Once you eliminate those two... Anyway, am I the only one that thinks the Bourne Trilogy needs more substance? It's like the Matrix for Spies...after the first, watching Bourne kick ass betterer and sneak betterer than the next guy gets old...real villain/real threat please?

  • July 2, 2007, 11:20 p.m. CST

    Damn you Michael Bay Denis

    by messi

    Damn you Michael Bay Denis.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:25 p.m. CST

    Fair enough, Messi.

    by Boober

    Back to the topic at hand.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:26 p.m. CST

    Boober-- i like the fact that

    by pjdon

    the Bourne films don't have a typical 'bad-guy', the people out to stop bourne are portrayed as people rather than thin sketches of 'evil' people with grand plans for world domination.<p><I love the fact that you don't know where the plot will take him and that it actually explores what it would be like to be in his shoes.<p>No banging ladies and wisecracks. A true spy movie.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:29 p.m. CST

    Why G1 Fans care so much.

    by Joe Huber

    Some of the newer people to the Transformers lore just don't get it. Why are G1 fans so rabid about the "giant fucking robots"? Well I can only speak for myself, but I care because they weren't just "giant fucking robots". In the cartoon line that many of us still hold close to our hearts, these "giant fucking robots" were much more than "giant fucking robots" they were CHARACTERS. Characters we grew to care about as much as any comic-book, cartoon, tv or movie fan cares about their beloved characters. What does Spiderman mean to Spidey fans? Same for Superman, Batman etc. Why do they mean so much to their individual fans? Because the fans connected with those characters in some way. Now take any of those iconic characters and change them until they are unrecognizable. I don't mind change, really. I even bought the Spidey with real web shooting in the movies as a change that wouldn't ruin the movies for me. I just can't see Megatron, Flaming Optimus and all the Transformers look more like SCRAPformers than Transformers. Their robot modes are completely unrecognizable. Their robot modes are part of what we connected with, their vehicle modes were secondary by far (with the exception of flames on a character where flames is UNcharacteristic). It's not a minor change. It would be like replacing the statue of liberty with a huge statue of Ru Paul. So much change and it really doesn't represent what it originally did. Though I guess Ru Paul and the statue have more in common than the real transformers and this movie BAYformers. That's what it's like for us G1 fans. The only thing in common with the Transformers we knew is that these things turn from vehicles into what is supposed to be robots (are they really robots? I can't even tell what is supposed to be the faces on half these SCRAPformers). I can accept their vehicle forms being different, even Bumblebee. I can accept changes to the storyline somewhat (though not in this case where there doesn't appear to be a story). I can accept a lot of things being different from what I remember Transformers to be, but the essence of the Transformers is completely gone in this so-called movie. If some says the ORIGINAL Transformers : The Movie is shit, they just don't get it. Might as well say Batman should have nipples on his suit, Superman should not fly or have any powers but should dress up in a purple dinosaur costume. Catwoman should be completely unrecognizable. I understand changes need to be made to reach a broader audience BUT don't alienate the hardcore fans in the process, just for the hell of it as Michael Dipshit Bay does. I have a bunch of Bay's movies on dvd. I liked all the ones I have on dvd as well which is an amazing feat from what I read about him on this site. This movie however is so far from the essence of it's subject matter that it would be like taking Pearl Harbor and changing the setting to Africa and have no involvement with anything resembling the United States or Pearl Harbor. Oh wait Bay pretty much did major changes on the movie of that same name, instead of the Pearl Harbor being the primary story he made it a love triangle with Pearl Harbor being the backdrop to his Titanic-wanna-be. Too bad Transformers didn't get made by someone who actually cares about the characters.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:35 p.m. CST

    The F Word

    by United States

    I have not seen the movie yet, but, according to, somebody says the 'F' word in Transformers. Supposedly, Shia's movie mom asks him repeatedly about masturbation, and somebody says the F word. Is this true?? That's a shame, for a movie based on toys. Is it true?

  • July 2, 2007, 11:35 p.m. CST

    Damn, what a shill for robots.

    by Bronx Cheer

    How much those robots paying you, Mori? Seriously, folks, can we go one TB without someone charging the writer with receiving bribes?

  • July 2, 2007, 11:41 p.m. CST

    This movie SUCKED!

    by El Scorcho

    And to cap it off it ended with a Linkin Park song. Fucking ick. I'm sorry, but this flick is retarded, any way you spin it. Not funny, treats the audience like they're in fucking second grade, etc... Blah.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:50 p.m. CST

    good reviews

    by slkboxrman

    are all i keep hearing, and thats great in NYC and the daily news gave it 3 of 4 stars and the reviewer said there is so much action packed into every second of the movie that u would be tempted to walk out and get another ticket when its done...i never saw that said about any movie ive ever seen, even terminator 2 which i went to on the first day and the line was down the block so far i got sunburned waiting in line to see it...hopfully seeing it later tonite...!!!!

  • July 2, 2007, 11:50 p.m. CST

    United States

    by waggy

    i don't remember there being an F-bomb in the movie. there was a "mother..." so maybe that's what they were referring to. the masturbation jokes were a little surprising, but they made me laugh, so i didn't much mind. kinda weird hearing the kid behind me laughing at them, but i think the funny reaction shia gave to his mother's questions is more what the kids get out of that scene.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:53 p.m. CST


    by WolfmanNards

    There is nothing good about it. The plot at the beginning, I put up with because I thought that something cool was gonna happen later, but it didn't I sat on my ass, hoping it would get good. It never did. Its like going to see a band that you like, and a shitty band plays before it, but you put up with it because your band is about to come on stage. And when they finally do, they're not doing that great of a job, then suddenly, the other band jumps back onstage, and gets in the way while you're trying to pay attention to the guys you came to see. I don't give a fuck about the army dudes. ESPECIALLY WHEN OPTIMUS AND MEGATRON ARE FIGHTING!!!!! WHy the fuck did they cut away from that fight?!!!?! We saw like 2 punches in that fight at the end! What the fuck!

  • July 2, 2007, 11:53 p.m. CST

    He supposedly says motherf---er and is cut off

    by superninja

    before he can complete it. The Transformers family film has lots of cursing, masturbation jokes, urination jokes, mothers giving their adult kid the finger, oogling the teenage girl. Based on the toys - you know, for kids! Nice.

  • July 2, 2007, 11:56 p.m. CST


    by slkboxrman

    the bitchy homo fanboys dont die do they ??

  • July 2, 2007, 11:59 p.m. CST

    back pocket

    by slkboxrman

    that clip was funny....."you have ten back pockets!" "left cheek!! left cheek !!! left cheek" and the part where the guy asked him if he wanted a premium package... LOL funny all around, cant wait to see the film.....and im a "die-hard Gen-1" fan...

  • July 3, 2007, midnight CST

    Fuck Moriarty,

    by Turnquest

    You're a good writer, and probably the best AICN has, but you need a fuckin editor. This is ridiculuously wordy and precious little actually talks about the film itself. It also seems rather stream-of-conscious instead of a focused, snappy review. I mean, its flying robots.

  • July 3, 2007, midnight CST


    by Darth Thoth

    Makes some great points. Let me first say that I enjoyed the movie. It was a great spectacle. Shia was awesome. The movie was funny. I was entertained. A great summer movie. BUT. I had major issues with it. This movie could've been so much more. So much better. As a longtime fan of the cartoon I appreciated the little nods and jokes here and there. But I would have appreciated the spirit of the cartoon being captured in the movie, more. Meaning, good mythology. A focus on the Transformers as characters and not simply pawns for action scenes. Why do we have pointless subplots with meaningless human side characters? Show the Transformers' personalities more- both Autobots (which they did some of) and Decepticons. This is why their designs mattered so much. Watching the movie I couldn't tell who was who. They were "fighting robots" and not Transformers. Also, it's not that hard to have a good script. Rewrites and edits people? Don't they read these things before production? I don't buy it when folks say you can't question the logic of the film when its whole premise is "illogical" and fiction. Hogwash. Giant transforming robots is the mythology of the world. You can still believe that and not excuse plot holes in the script as wide as a football field. Some parts of this movie are laughably bad. Again, good movie but it should've been great because what they do well they do well. I don't know. The film just seemed to drag for me. It was up and down. Jaw dropping spectable. Humor. Action. All good. But then there were stupid plot lines and plot holes that brought the movie dangerously close to turning itself into a joke. And that's the problem. That's why non G1/ cartoon show fans will enjoy this with no problem. It's simply a summer movie for them and plot holes/ bad script is ok. But for fans of the cartoon, we can enjoy this movie for the spectable but ultimately be deeply disappointed because the true spirit of the cartoon was jerked and the property was not taken seriously as Transformers but shown more as stupid robots fighting each other. That's my two cents.

  • July 3, 2007, midnight CST

    Fuck this movie

    by WolfmanNards

    what was good about it? It was blurry. Everything was shaky and blurry. There were barely any scenes with transformers in it. THE FUCKING MOVIE IS CALLED TRANSFORMERS! Why weren't there any transformers in the movie???!! WHAT THE FUCK!

  • July 3, 2007, midnight CST

    Hey supes

    by pjdon

    have you decided if you are going to see it or not now?<p>Have the positive reviews swayed you? I was on the other side of the fence to you but i can't see how people are changing their minds on this.<p>It looks like exactly what we all expected, a great Bay film.<p>I thought the Bay haters would still hate it but Messi and Yack seemed to change their views.<p>But you supes never seemed that keen on the action side of things. Not being sexist but I think you are immune from the power Bay has over us stupid boys.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:01 a.m. CST

    Just saw it

    by Incompetent Ninja

    It was better than I expected, but still not good. I saw more product placement than character development.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:01 a.m. CST

    Name-calling = really mature?

    by Joe Huber

    slkboxrman name-calling wins in elementary school and maybe an online chatroom. Asking hardcore Transformers fans not to care about the movie being ruined is like asking Star Wars fans to accept being changed from sci-fi to soap opera.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:01 a.m. CST

    It's a sad day

    by WolfmanNards

    Its a sad day when masters of the universe is better than this piece of shit. THERES NOTHING TO LIKE ABOUT IT! Fuck you monkeys that were entertained by this shit. You're like a fly to the shit. And sure millions of people will see this, and say they liked it... well millions of flies eat shit.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:02 a.m. CST

    Fantastic -- except for the ad libbed humor digressions

    by George Newman

    There are several moments in the film where Bay presses the plot pause button so that the actors can ad lib, joke, and banter back and forth. Those moments were irritating digressions. <p>The little Decepticon was a little too slapsticky for me. <p>Other than those things, this movie was Spectacular! I definitely thought that the action was great, But some of my more favorite moments were when the Autobots were simply standing still and speaking with Shia and the girl. They were awe-inspiring. It was great.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:03 a.m. CST

    Who gives a fuck about army guys?

    by WolfmanNards

    Nobody wants to know what the defense secretary is doing in his little fag bunker with is nobody characters WHEN THERE IS A FUCKING ROBOT BATTLE GOING ON?! Why did they keep cutting away from the robot battle? This was one of the smallest movies Ive ever seen. Hardly any of the money thrown at this made it onto the screen.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:06 a.m. CST

    pjdon, I like action just fine.

    by superninja

    Perhaps more in an adventure sense (romantic) than balls-to-the-wall action business. For instance, I think Top Gun is pretty much lame, but Star Wars is the pants. I don't like things dumbed down, and I don't like mindlessness. Two things this movie has, everyone admits it in their reviews and in fact praises the film for it in some cases. <p> I probably will see it at some point, but I'm not going out of my way to get it in over the holiday and contribute to its opening grosses.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:07 a.m. CST

    wolfman w/out nads

    by slkboxrman

    or whatever ur name is...obviously u didnt see the film, ill take moriaritys word over urs any day, especially since he actually saw the film and says the transformers are in most of the film from beginning to end

  • July 3, 2007, 12:08 a.m. CST

    I doubt it's as bad as MOTU.

    by superninja

    Though the story is quite similar. Frenzy is the new Gwildor.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:09 a.m. CST

    What a waste of my time

    by WolfmanNards

    All I wanted was robots punching eachother. Instead what they gave me was some 16 year old kid hitting on a 16 year old girl, who they filmed like she was over 18, and they filmed her tits and her ass like a model or porn star, fuck you for that, BAY. She's 16, don't tell the audience "yeah, you wanna fuck her, dontcha?" But whatever. Okay, the pentagon, who gives a fuck? Army dudes, who gives a fuck? Hackers, who gives a fuck? How about the robots? Every now and then you get a little bit of robots, a little bit of action, and when you do, its shaky cam blurry, fast cut, I CANT SEE ANYTHING! THEN WHEN THE FINAL BATTLE HAPPENS- THEY FUCKING CUT AWAY TO FUCKING ARMY DUDES! I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE ARMY GUYS! WHAT THE FUCK??!?!

  • July 3, 2007, 12:09 a.m. CST


    by slkboxrman

    im a bigger transformers fan than u could ever be....i prob watched the first episode on LIVE tv....and "fanboys" are the cult-like fans, and if this doesnt apply to u then dont take it personal...but overall fanboys are bitchy and annoying and never happy, and to me that pretty gay, hence the homo term....and i like calling people names when they deserve it..... sue me

  • July 3, 2007, 12:10 a.m. CST

    Spectacle... not spectable

    by Darth Thoth

    My bad but you know what I meant.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:12 a.m. CST

    I was willing to put up with all the piss jokes

    by WolfmanNards

    I really was willing to get past all of the piss jokes, just so long as I got an awesome battle at the end. Instead, they just kept cutting to the army guys. And that shitty girl towing around a handicapped transformer. All I wanted, man, ALL I FUCKING WANTED WAS A GOOD BATTLE! YOU HAD TO KEEP CUTTING AWAY! FUCK YOU! FUCK ANYBODY WHO LIKES THIS SHIT! YOURE SUPPORTING SHIT!

  • July 3, 2007, 12:12 a.m. CST

    Thanks Darth Thoth

    by Joe Huber

    Really I wanted to like this movie. As I said I am, or was, a Michael Bay fan. I got The Rock, Armageddon, Bad Boys...........even Pearl Harbor on dvd. At his best Bay can do amazing camerawork and great action which should fit an action movie, but what was forgotten with Transformers, for us die-hard fans was the characters. The non die-hards will say "it's just a cartoon, just a toy, just a comic book" well try saying that about Star Wars to Star Wars fans. The same holds true for Transformer fans. Some things could be changed that even G1 fans like myself would easily accept, the characters being unrecognizable, even the characters that should have been slam-dunk easy characters (like Prime, Bumblebee, Megatron, Starscream) are so far different that I wouldn't recognize what they were meant to be. If I never heard that this movie versions were meant to be Transformers, for real I would guess these were go-bots. And for those who don't know the difference between Transformers and Go-bots is like the difference between Coke classic and the "new" coke of the 80's.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:15 a.m. CST


    by WolfmanNards

    Dude, I wanted to like it too. None of the transformers had any characters to them. And once they transform into their designated vehicles, you forget who they are. They barely have any dialogue. They have very few scenes. Especially compared to the throwaway characters like jon voigt, john turturro, the hackers, the army guys. What the fuck? Why did they have more scenes with that one army dude, than they did optimus prime?

  • July 3, 2007, 12:18 a.m. CST

    CG ROBOTS were on screen for more than an HOUR

    by George Newman

    Before the movie began I pulled out my cellphone and prepped my stopwatch. I was going to time how much screen time the TRANSFORMERS actually got. I started and stopped that thing many many times, even for brief shot-reverse-shots. I DID NOT inculde shots un-Transformered Cars! <p> The final count came to approximately 01:01:35. <p> That is a significant amount of screentime. That is half the film's length! I wish it could have been 3/4s or 4/5s, but Half is great! That is every other second. every other 10 seconds. every other 30 seconds or a minute. Bay never strayed long from showing us the CG Robots in all their glory.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:18 a.m. CST

    I still don't understand?

    by nazismasher

    What exactly did Moriarty find so difficult about the plot of the old animated movie? The plot was so easy to understand millions of underage grade schoolers hopped up on Coco Puffs and brain fogged by Atari mania figured it out without a problem. Not a very impressive show from a supposed genious mastermind.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:19 a.m. CST

    Nite all

    by pjdon

  • July 3, 2007, 12:25 a.m. CST

    George Newman

    by WolfmanNards

    Im glad you did the stopwatch thing, man. But you must have included all the time it cut away to some nonsense like Army dudes using sniper guns watching the fight that I DONT GET TO SEE! And when they cut to the girl in the tow truck WHILE AWESOME FIGHTS ARE HAPPENING EVERYWHERE ELSE!

  • July 3, 2007, 12:26 a.m. CST

    A bigger fan?

    by Joe Huber

    slkboxrman Hard to compare who's a bigger fan. Who has more Transformers? Or who is more passionate about it? How much have you spent on your collection of Transformers? I mean the dvds, the vhs, the comics, the toys (original G1's, through current with the exceptions of Beast-wars/machines & the current movieline). I wouldn't say I'm a collector just to complete the line, I collect because I genuinely like most of the figures/characters. I saw all the episodes live as well. Every holiday/birthday or any gift I wanted during that time-period I asked for Transformers. My very first job when I was a kid I went out and bought.....Transformers. Besides my comic book & dvd collection Transformers is right up there. I liked GI Joe, Thundercats, He-man but no other cartoon based toy-line came close for me. It's funny but people can bash G1 fans all they want but for a toyline/cartoon-line that basically lasted about 3 years in America it says a lot for fans of that era to STILL be this passionate about Transformers. Maybe that's why some of us are so disappointed that this movie is made to turn hard-core fans like me away.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:27 a.m. CST

    Is this what you are talking about Wolfman?

    by superninja

    "Bay -- who has finally left his mentor Jerry Bruckheimer's apron string for this film -- has always been a stalwart supporter of shaky, choppy action sequences. But this time he has concentrated on longer, unbroken shots, as opposed to his usual fast cutting. Unfortunately, he shakes the images more than ever before. Even more annoying, Bay has decided to shine high-intensity lights directly at the lens whenever possible, thereby obscuring any remaining images. (These can be car headlights, helicopter searchlights, sunlight, or any other illuminating device that happens to be handy.) It's basically an action film wherein the action is deliberately undercut and replaced with unremitting chaos." <p>

  • July 3, 2007, 12:28 a.m. CST

    Nite, pjdon!

    by superninja

    Say hi to the little one for me. :)

  • July 3, 2007, 12:32 a.m. CST

    Superninja, YES THANK YOU

    by WolfmanNards

    YOU CANT FUCKING SEE ANYTHING! And then when you actually kinda sorta get into whats going on, they cut away to some unimportant character that is fat to a story that needs some serious trimming. So not only is it hard to make anything out, but most of it isnt even worth rubbing your eyes for.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:32 a.m. CST

    optimus prime is robot Capt. Kirk plus Capt. America

    by picardsucks

    It will be nice to have a good role model for kids again, if your around 30 we were lucky enough to grow up with alot of them, on the screen, in sports and even in government. Kids now days don't have too many to choose from in any of those categories.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:33 a.m. CST

    Fucking best movie of the summer.

    by tristeele

    Typical the haters are out in force. Thats all this site has become. Some people enjoy a movie and others bag it just to annoy the ones who liked it. The crowd I saw it with cheered and clapped throughout. I'm not sure what movie you fucking idiots saw...but the one I saw was awesome. My only complaint - I would have liked Bay to move the camera back further so we could see the action better. I don't know why directors the last 10 years or so have to have the camera RIGHT FUCKING THERE. Move it back and let us enjoy the action. Again my only complaint. Very fun movie. THE movie of the summer. Followed closely by Die Hard 4 (which also rocked). Seriously some of the action in DIEHARD was just badass. Opening apartment shootout, car/helicopter chase, dude from District B13, elevator fight. Wow I think I need to see both movies again. To the haters - Please go fuck yourselves.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:35 a.m. CST

    These filmmakers think these things of us

    by WolfmanNards

    They think either, they're so intelligent that their quick cutting and lack of geographical establishment makes sense to somebody who is on top of their game. OOORRR That we are stupid enough to think that whats going on screen makes sense . OORRRRR That we don't care if we can see anything and that we're just entertained by anything that is loud and flashy.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:35 a.m. CST

    Yes, we get it WolfmanNards, you hated it...

    by Mike_D

    You dont need to tell us 50 times.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:37 a.m. CST


    by WolfmanNards

    Dude, my audience was cheering too. I'm not saying that people didn't like it. I'm saying that this movie was shit, and that like always 70% of the population enjoys shit, and scoops it and and asks for more. So 70% of you all will like it. Majority rules right?

  • July 3, 2007, 12:38 a.m. CST


    by WolfmanNards

    I just can't express strongly enough how pissed off this movie has made me. I don't know if there will be a limit to my posting.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:39 a.m. CST


    by Joe Huber

    You got it. I mean I even tried to get past the designs, but I couldn't. Not when I just couldn't recognize some of them, I mean completely unrecognizable (Starscream, Megatron, Bumblebee). I still can't even tell which parts of Bumblebee are supposed to be his face, same for Megatron. Starscream is a monkey or something. I was disappointed when flames on Prime was the big no-no but after that things came out that were so much worse that they made the flames seem like nothing. Completely uncharacteristic (Prime should be the elder leader of the Autobots, old-fashioned, and flames are representative of younger-type characters like Hot-rod). I really tried to see past all the stuff I didn't like and even was going to give this movie a chance, but the bad really started to outweight the good 10-1. This movie really didn't take much of what was good about the Transformers besides the names. All told I will see the movie eventually from Blockbuster and it won't cost anything since I get my dvds in the mail and can exchange them in-store pretty fast. My tv is a big 100+ inch movie-theater set anyway so I can enjoy it (or not) from the comfort of my own home. No doubt this movie will be a box office success (but it could also go the way of Pearl Harbor or Superman Returns), but these days that doesn't mean it will be a good movie.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:40 a.m. CST

    I wasnt speaking to you in paticular wolf...

    by tristeele

    and as others have said we fucking GET you didn't like it. We just don't care what you think. You may have some valid points. I was sad about cutting from the Optimus/Megatron fight....I understand Bay was trying to ground it in reality with the human characters for good or bad. But again you going on and on isnt helping your cause.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:41 a.m. CST


    by WolfmanNards

    we're all in this together. Im just trying to vent.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:45 a.m. CST

    Bay fans vs G1 fans

    by Joe Huber

    I think this forum is for those who liked and hated the film equally. I understand some won't like the criticism, but if you all loved the movie and only said positive things, wouldn't it be boring? Diversity in life makes things interesting. If we were all the same with likes and dislikes this world would be one giant BORING utopia. That said..........BAYformers sucks!!! :-)

  • July 3, 2007, 12:46 a.m. CST

    Personally Wolfman

    by tristeele

    I don't have a huge interest in Transformers. As a kid I loved them til the movie and the death of Optimus. I understand alot of what people in here are bitching about. I guess from my point of view- I wanted to see Optimus. I wanted to see Megatron and Starscream. I wanted mentions of the original series....the transform sounds, Megatron bitching at Starscream and One shall Stand and One shall Fall. I got all that. I wasnt asking for much in a summer of just SHIT. I just found it to be a FUN summer movie. Which is what this summer (and last honestly) has comepletely lacked. I wanted that Jurassic Park and Independence Day feel. I GOT that. Maybe in a year or two Ill fucking hate this movie. But right now- Im pretty happy.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:49 a.m. CST

    The only Bay movie I liked pre Transformers

    by tristeele

    was Badboys 2 and 1 scene from the Rock. The Standoff between Ed Harris's men and Micheal Beines men. That shit was tense. I cant think of anything else of his I remotely liked. The guy is just not a good director.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:49 a.m. CST

    Jaysmack is a hero.

    by WolfmanNards

    Read jaysmack's post. He is the leader of the cause.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:50 a.m. CST

    Reality Transformers

    by Joe Huber

    This is what I didn't get about Bay's version of Transformers. All the scrap-metal look to the Transformers. I know he didn't want the blocky look, but it's like that fake Sideswipe commercial. I should be able to recognize a car door or window on the figure in robot mode. I can't even conceive what some of these parts are from robot to vehicle mode. I know it's "robots in disguse" but the disguise part should be that when they are in vehicle form they blend in with all the other vehicles on earth (how much does a flame truck blend in with other trucks in real life?), they don't need more disguise when they are in robot form. That part of Bay's "vision" I never got either.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:53 a.m. CST

    I hear ya, tristeele

    by WolfmanNards

    This and last summer - VERY DISAPPOINTING. Pirates 2, pirates 3, spiderman 3, Superman Returns, Fantastic four 2, Shrek 3, FUCKING SPIDERMAN 3, (deserves 2 mentions) x men 3. it's sad, really.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:54 a.m. CST


    by blackwood

    You know, I've been saying that with enthusiasm here for over a year. In one of the old, epic Trans Talkbacks I said as long as the flames on his arms didn't stop him from punching the shit out of... something-something, then I didn't give a fuck.<br><br> I just got back from seeing it, and I was right - I didn't give a fuck about the flames. And I didn't give a fuck about all this despairing fanboy acrimony we've had to wade through ever since the project was announced; or all the people who had preached so violently against cautious optimism and have now come back with egg on their faces, saying they liked it but throwing in enough caveats to stay credible; or about Michael Bay's dubious ouvre, or Shia LeBouf's Shia LeBoufiness.<br><br> I cared about seeing a movie with giant alien robots called Transformers.<br><br> And I loved it. So much.<br><br> It made me realize there are two sides to every geek - the lover and the hater. While the lover prances around with unbridled joy at the possibilities, he is constantly dogged by the hater, who skulks about in eternal disappointment, picking nits. I'm sure many geeks will give over to the dark side on this movie, tearing it apart for all it isn't what they wanted it to be.<br><br>But not me. Entirely satisfied - a well-earned ten bucks for Misters Bay and Spielberg.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:57 a.m. CST

    Seriously wolf- WTF happened to Spidey?

    by tristeele

    That movie was fucking AWFUL. Everytime I talk or think about it I hate it a little more. Venom was just TARDED. The half hour evil Peter. My friend and I laughed our ASSES off during that whole sequence. I mean seriously.....He changes his hair and automatically becomes evil Pete. TARDED. Dancing around the bar like a freak- NOONE catches that hes spiderman?

  • July 3, 2007, 1 a.m. CST

    Agree Again Wolfman

    by Joe Huber

    I went to see Spidey 3 with my brother. We were the only two in the theater. That is a first for me. I mean we had the whole theater to ourselves. Throughout the ENTIRE movie. All the Peter Parker/MJ drama ruined it for me. They spent far too much time on that than Spidey or Venom. Also, since when can sand fly? I mean without a natural wind that would cause a sandstorm? Spidey 3 suffered from actors/directors that were on the film after they stopped caring and rushed movie syndrome (fit any part 3 in a trilogy here as in Alien3, T3, Spidey3, Superman3 etc). Sadly by the time Transformers gets to a point where it is re-made/reimaged people who were passionate to see these characters in live-action film (like myself) will probably be long gone. DAMN YOU BAY!!!

  • July 3, 2007, 1 a.m. CST

    Yep, that's what I wanted in a Transformers movie.

    by Anti-fanboy

    Saw the first episode in '84, at the age of 10, and a few years later, had my heart broken, fucking shattered when those fuckers killed Prime. I looked over at my best friend in the theater, who was just weeping silently. Yeah, I love the '86 movie, but ...when Prime died... I grieved. On some level, that geek level that holds on to all that was dear from childhood, I grieved for years. But tonight... Prime was brought back in a way that I could finally accept (unlike the cartoon resurrection, which just deepened the sense of betrayal). I just wanted them to get Optimus right -- if everything else worked, awesome. I just wanted Prime to work. He did. Peter Cullen, I love you, man.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:07 a.m. CST

    Prime not enough

    by Joe Huber

    As much as I loved Optimus Prime I needed more to give this movie a chance. Even without the flames this design of Prime wouldn't have worked for me. It sounds like this movie has far too much "humor" for me which is basically saying "we aren't taking this shit serious". So-called comedy has ruined some of the comic book movies of late (X-Men 3, Spidey 3). What ever happened to taking the subject matter more serious and actually putting effort into both pleasing the hardcore fans and bringing new fans onboard (the first two Spidey and X-Men films did this). Why does Transformers (BAYformers, same thing) have to alienate the hardcore fans other than for Michael Bay to give us all the finger and make sure we don't contribute box office $ to his movie?

  • July 3, 2007, 1:26 a.m. CST


    by Darth Thoth

    I enjoyed the movie... I was just deeply disappointed. As a summer popcorn flick with great special effects, humor, action, hot girls, no real plot/ substantial story, and giant robots fighting I liked it. But as a Transformers movie it left a lot to be desired. The disappointment/ outrage you'll here is from the long-time fans who get what Transformers is about and wanted to see that mythology respected. And in this film it really isn't. I'm not hating. I'm appreciative (of a fun movie) yet honest and critical (of its shortcomings). I like Bay. He made a great summer movie. But the spirit of Transformers was missed. That's all. To me, the 1986 movie still remains the definitive Transformers movie.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:35 a.m. CST

    Bay made a believer out of me.

    by FuzzyWhisper

    For the longest time I was tempted to to wave the TINO banner as vigorously as the rest of this film's detractors. Then I actually saw it, and all my complaints melted away. Sure, there's some little things that could have been done differently, if only for the sake of the fans, but that doesn't detract from the main point: Michael Bay's Transformers is a masterfully executed film that die-hard Transfans and uninitiated viewers alike should find equally satisfying. I myself used to be a member of the former category, so believe me when I say I'm not easily impressed by modern attempts to build upon the franchise. <br><br> I just about always loathe when people monkey with my childhood (I'm looking at you, George "Eighty Percent of the Prequel Trilogy's Plot was Saved for Episode 3" Lucas). This is the first time I've felt the desire to somehow thank a director personally for doing just that. Admittedly, this is only my first impression. I'm sure I'll find plenty of things to nitpick about later. But for now, I'm convinced that Michael Bay made magic.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:36 a.m. CST

    Peter Cullen was great

    by Darth Thoth

    Prime was awesome.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:45 a.m. CST

    What a bore.

    by snakecharmer

    I watched two movies today: Live Free or Die Hard and Transformers. Both movies are considered fun but kinda dumb summer movies. Die Hard is a far better movie. The action is so much more interesting. The effects in Transformers are amazing and it has some laughs but it drags during the middle towards the end. The action is unclear during key fights scenes. I couldn't keep track of which robot was which and who they were fighting. I'm mainly refering to the first part of the fight in L.A. By the way, the movie was at Hoover damb one minute and the next minute they were in L.A.. Bay is starting to repeat himself to the point of being lame. He re-uses the dolly around the a gun fight trick, the expected freeway car chase, the cheesy moments between characters, and other moments that I can't recall now. The odd rock music choices were so out of place. Anyways, if you like it, go watch. I thought it sucked pretty bad. Bring on Bourne Identity. lates.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:52 a.m. CST


    by Joe Huber

    TINO = everyone enjoys a good shit once in awhile but it doesn't mean you have to WATCH it.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:54 a.m. CST

    Evary single hater here...

    by wash

    has never, ever kissed a girl. I wish Shatner was here right now to shame all you basement dwelling losers. The movie was fun. Funny. Entertaining. Stupid yes, but more fun than any fourth of July party you'll avoid going to so you can masturbate to internet porn and complain about shitty 80's cartoons on the internet.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:56 a.m. CST


    by wash

    yeah I know

  • July 3, 2007, 2:03 a.m. CST

    Looking back I laugh at myself during T-REX sequence JP

    by Orionsangels

    When the T-REX first appeared i was so amazed by it. I kept screaming holy shit! holy! holy fuck! holy shit! holy!!! The theater probably thought i was crazy. It was surreal looking after having grown up on stop motion dinosaurs. This looked like a heavy life animal. It was something I dreamed of seeing my whole life there it was. So Transformers the movie does that? I'M SO THERE!

  • July 3, 2007, 2:06 a.m. CST

    Haters hate because we love Transformers.

    by Joe Huber

    Us diehard fans are hating so much on this film because it represents everything that is NOT Transformers. Transformers as I remember them have a deep mythology and the characters are so different from one another. They really represented how different humans could be. If we were all the exact same this world would be boring. Why is the common theme from people who "loved" this film that we should all check our brains at the door and enjoy the shaky-cam SCRAPformers blow shit up while humans dominate most of the movie. Even the so-called crappy cartoon (for those who don't know G1) had much more characterization than Bay could fathom. A child's toyline. Just think of that. It goes to show how dumbed-down this generation is. At least our generation didn't speak down to kids as this generation does. "Show me amazing CGI (ok I know the designs are a HUGE stretch to fit amazing) of scrapmetal fighting and blowing up and I will be satisfied" is what most of you who like this film are saying. Hell even the toylines with their bios (not counting the cartoons or comics) alone had more meat to their stories than any Bay movies put together. Nuff said.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:06 a.m. CST

    I would lick the dirt off Megan Fox's toes!

    by Orionsangels

    That's how hot she is

  • July 3, 2007, 2:10 a.m. CST

    the "hater" comments arrive just on time.

    by snakecharmer

    You getting upset because I don't like the movie shows a lack of maturity on your part. I know, i know. I'm "a virgin nerd who's never left his house and, much less, touched a girl." Maybe, I just didn't like the movie. It's okay for other people not to like things you like. It's alright. The movie was interesting and funny but it gets convoluted and too busy towards the end. The "action geography" is very important for action movie. When the audience can't clearly understand what is happening, they are taken out of the movie. lates.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:10 a.m. CST

    BAD BOYS 2-style camera spin shootout was intentional

    by George Newman

    It was meant to be a joke. The film was very self-aware regarding Bay's history and style. I died laughing when I saw it.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:26 a.m. CST

    Ah Yuck

    by Nozoli Apples

    Well, I didn't really like the movie that much. First off, the effects, action, and fighting between the Transformers was for the most part cool as fuck, just too bad everything else wasn't. I got my first jolt of bad Michael Bayisms when there was a helicopter flying in front of a too bright setting sun, and then I was crapped upon with hammy music and really cheesy uses of close-ups, lame emotion(the girl crying about not leaving bumblebee etc.) and those terrible terrible slow motion moments. I was actually kind of enjoying it up until about the halfway point when I realized that the movie was never going to try and have a serious moment, even in moments where we needed them. The jokes were pretty funny at first but then I began to realize that they were apparently written with 12 year olds in mind because they just weren't funny, were too simplistic, broad, and occurred way too often. I mean we have these people who should be scared out of their minds and then we get crap like John Torturro(I love him with the Coens, here he was terrible) hamming it up so bad that it was painful. The other characters were either wacky or trying to act way too serious while spouting bad fucking lines. The dialog was bad and almost every character was lame. I know this is a dumb summer movie and that's totally cool, I just don't enjoy seeing a movie that has great action sequences and really lame stuff crammed in between. Oh and the thing about the code being on the glasses, yikes in the bad department. To clarify, I'm no huge Transformers nut so it's not as if I was hinging my life on this movie, but I honestly think it would have been a much more fun, scary, and intense movie if it had taken a more serious tone at least some of the time, and actually let us get to know the Transformers. Let's face it, we basically got zippo in terms of the personalities of the Decepticons, and Bumblebees radio frequency talk was not funny and frigging annoying. All this being said, the movie was still ok, I'd definitely watch the action sequences again but man it's too fucking painful to sit through the rest. Ladiesman217(because that is so funny), out. So did anyone see some cool costumes? One dude at our packed 11 o clock showing wore a tinfoil box and Geordi Laforge-ish glasses but that was it. Also did anyone else's audiences freak out and clap at some parts that just weren't funny?

  • July 3, 2007, 2:30 a.m. CST

    Instruction I am a Hater

    by Joe Huber

    Where this movie is concerned. I hate what they've done to something I waited years for. Imagine waiting all those years for the Spider-Man movie only to see it's not Peter Parker and has nothing to do with spiders, climbing walls or webbing bad guys up. I'll always have the comics and cartoons to watch (and the only movie I will acknowledge as the TRUE Transformers movie). I just hate all the wasted opportunities. The potential flushed down the toilet because some vision-less pricks saw a brand name and wanted to make $$$ off of it. Let's face it, without the name Transformers this movie wouldn't do shit at the box-office. Bay or no Bay. Spielberg or no Spielberg. This movie is making it's money on name alone. It's damn well not from good direction, plot, storyline or excellect clear camera-work. Without the names Transformers, Optimus Prime, Megatron etc, this movie would be Go-bots and would do about as well as that toyline did.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:35 a.m. CST

    Every single person who liked it disclaims it with...

    by IndustryKiller!

    "it was big dumb fun, and I had fun". So in other words the special effects are fantastic and everything else is mediocre. Which is what we've been saying for months. How are more people not complaining about the quick cut editing action? It just proves that todays moviegoing audience has completely lost site of what makes good genre.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:47 a.m. CST

    I mean, really ...

    by sigh

    krack <br> not krack <br> meltedfacetoht <br> regularfacetoht <br> explodedheadbelloq <br> regularheadbelloq <br> quitbanningme

  • July 3, 2007, 2:49 a.m. CST

    How the mighty have fallen

    by Joe Huber

    It's such a shame. I used to be a huge Spielberg fan. From JAWS to ET, Jurassic Park, Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan, Band Of Brothers, and many other movies he directed, produced or otherwise endorsed. With this film I lost all faith in Spielberg. How could he put his stamp of approval on something like this? His lie about being a Transformers fan is so apparant. See-thru like one of Britney Spear's tank tops. I mean come on you really think Spielberg ever touched a Transformer? Before Hasbro begged his ass to do a film Spielberg only thought a transformer involved voltage and circuit breakers. I bet he couldn't name ten of them. Michael Bay I expected this crap from. He's the definition of shallow. Spielberg I once admired, but I lost respect for him endorsing this garbage. He could have made a better Transformers film than Bay in his sleep.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:51 a.m. CST

    Messi, Yack, Superninja you guys on....

    by RevSick

    ...just got back from the drive in. Figured you'd want to hear my take.

  • July 3, 2007, 2:52 a.m. CST

    I want whatever the AICN staff is smoking

    by Spastic Retard

    Just got back from a midnight screening and I HATED this movie. Hated it. There isn't one full minute out of nearly 2 and a half hours without a product placement. Transforming Xbox 360's, cellphones and soda machines? This was ridiculous. The plot was non-existent. I've given up all hope on Michael Bay ever making a good movie. I thought with Spielberg producing he could create a decent film, but I thought wrong. What was there to like in this piece of crap movie? Nothing. I give up. There isn't going to be a film to save the summer. This summer sucks. And as for Drew's review -- huh? This movie IS Godzilla, it IS Independence Day and it IS very, very Michael Bay. It has more fast cuts than he's ever put in a film before. How could you even consider this a step up for him? I've never once enjoyed a Michael Bay film and this movie certainly didn't change my mind. If you're a fan of Bay, you may have fun with the movie. But don't be fooled. This is Michael Bay through and through and I have no idea what Moriarty watched, but it wasn't this movie. Very disappointing. I want my $21.00 back.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:11 a.m. CST

    $21? Good lord!

    by Joe Huber

    I hate to sound like Chris Rock on In Living Color (where he keeps trying to buy food or drinks dirt cheap) but damn. $21? For this crap? How many tickets and food/beverages did that buy? Did you see the previews before going to see the movie? From all the commercials I seen for this movie, not ONE had any kind of storyline to sell. It was just all meaningless action. Scrapmetal that is supposed to be transformers. No wonder the kids today don't care about the current toylines. It's because they suck!! At least the first generation of transformers fans had characters, storylines, plots to buy into the toylines. That kinda died out after Transformers The Movie when characterization took a backseat to turning out toys with little or no character to them. After that the original toyline & cartoon died off. That should tell you something. Even when the cartoon was at it's worst it had more characterization and thought put into it than Bay's movie version.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:13 a.m. CST

    "Peter Cullen has sold out by appearing in this dreck."

    by Shermdawg

    lol. Sorry, but if you were an aging voice actor who asn't exactly a household name, and was given the oppurtunity to take the lead role in a big budget summer blockbuster with probable sequels as a part of the deal, you'd "sell out" too. <br><br> Of course the film was crap, but what isn't these days? I applaud Peter for taking part in the film, because his voiceover (like I said) along with Shia channeling Michael J. Fox, are the only reasons to see it.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:16 a.m. CST

    $21 for 2 tickets, nothing else

    by Spastic Retard

    $10.50 a ticket. No popcorn, candy or pop. Just Bayformers. The ads looked like shit to me, too. But I was a fucking sucker and fell for Moriarty and Capone's reviews. Never again. I shoulda stopped trusting this site's reviews as soon as Harry spewed all over Godzilla. Speaking of Harry -- is he dead or something? Haven't seen him posting here in a long time.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:19 a.m. CST

    Transformers KICKED ASS

    by antonphd

    I'm not going to excuse this movie by calling it big dumb summer fun. It was big kick ass fun period!<p> <p> I gotta say that I never thought Transformers could be more than a cartoon show but I stand corrected. This was a kick ass(if maybe too loud at times) movie! I grew up on the original cartoon and this felt as an adult like how it felt as a kid to watch the cartoon.<p> <p> This isn't a exact duplicate of the original cartoon. It's it's own telling. But I honestly can't say that anything except maybe another hour of character development would make it better. It was just plain... fucking fun!<p> <p> I really only went to this because of the AICN reviews being so positive and I am not dissapointed.<p> <p> I'm sorry to the guys who didn't enjoy the movie. It's great fun for everyone else alive. The audience I was with LOVED it and heartily cheered at the end!<p> <p> Best Line: <SPOILERISH> Were you... you know?<p> <p> Optimus Prime is the Mother Fucking Ma..chine!!!

  • July 3, 2007, 3:25 a.m. CST

    Got a question for whoever read the script...(SPOILER)

    by Shermdawg

    In the script, during the final batte with Megs, didn't Optimus tell Sam to shove the "Allspark" into Megs' chest?<br><br> If so, they retardedly changed it for the flick, and the more I think about it, having Optimus wanting to sacrifice himself and leave Megs to slaughter who knows how many people is the dumbest moment, in a film full of dumb moments, and a prime example (no pun intended) of how the film is even worse than that god awful screenplay. <br><br> "Sam, I gie up, just jam the "Allspark" into my chest. Megs will still be alive, and he'll probably squish you within a few seconds of doing so, but look on the bright side, there won't be anymore Mountain Dew machine trannys walkin' around, and it will leave a spot for Hot Rod to take my place in the sequel."

  • July 3, 2007, 3:29 a.m. CST

    I feel for you

    by Joe Huber

    I really do. We've all been ripped off by films we thought could be good or people told us was good, but we didn't like anyway. Trust your eyes & ears. I never trust critics because I tend to disagree with them. Especially these days when they can be bought and sold with a promise of future previews or inside access. Critics are fans just like us, but loyalty to movie fans doesn't mean a thing to them. I basically read reviews for entertainment purposes only. I trust my own eyes and ears and if a Trailer or teaser can't sell me on a movie, anything someone says or writes won't be able to get me in the theater. At the very least a movie should be able to turn out a commercial that gives you reasons to see the film other than CGI alone. These days I don't even trust movie trailers because they can make crappy movies look interesting (take all the best moments in the film and highlight them for the commercial). Sadly I used to like Michael Bay films so for him to not capture my box-office $ is a loss of someone who would usually see his films. Then again his recent films left a lot to be desired. I couldn't even watch The Island on any of the premium channels because there was nothing I found interesting to draw me in. I could have basically watched the movie free, but it looked so bad I couldn't bring myself to do it.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:36 a.m. CST

    Spidey 3 vs Transformers

    by Joe Huber

    As bad as Spidey 3 was (and I was looking forward to it) at least Spidey looked like spidey. Can't say the same for Transformers where most of them look like current versions of Johnny 5 from Short Circuit. Actually I take that back, that would be an insult to Johnny 5.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:36 a.m. CST

    Whoa, whoa, whoa. I will respond.

    by Shermdawg

    I've been more han vocal over Smallville's faults, but even with them, it's far superior to what Singer tried with te franchise. <br><br> And regardig Shia channeling Fox (Michael J., not Megan...although I'd like to channel er. ;) ) obviously you musta stepped out to the concession area, or restroom during his scenes back at the Witwicky house when he was searching for the glasses. His manic, and almost improvised performance was dead on Alex P. Keaton. Don't deny it.<br><br> Shia's the man.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:37 a.m. CST

    Well here goes.....

    by RevSick

    As alot of you know I've been a huge detractor of this film since the Megatron images came out. Not so much because of the designs but because of Don Murphy, then I heard more and more about the story and then I read the book and was even more solidified in my opinion that everything outside the fx was shite. Well I just got back from the drive-in and I actually liked the film. I am man enough that I am able to admit that I was wrong about it being complete garbage. <p> Here's my take on it, and no I'm not going to make the "it's stupid so it's good" argument. The film has alot going for it, the problem is there are elements that grind it to a painful halt. There are two movies going on here, Transformers and Sam Witwicky: The Quest For Poontang. One story is good, one is bad and slow, guess which one? That's right Sam and Mikela is the worst part of the movie. It's the biggest problem I had with the film period. It completely kills the pace of the film everytime they feel the need to focus on the romantic subplot of Sam and Mikela. Bottom line, it does not fit, most everything else fit, the military guys, the hackers, the government, even the moments where it was just sam and bumblebee fit, but the stuff where it's this amalgam of Transformers and Herbie the Love Bug is so painfully slow and out of place it just kills the pacing. I get what they were doing, trying to get the female audience, but let's face it putting twenty minutes of romantic subplot into a film isn't going to immediatly make little girls run out for Transformer tickets or toys. It works about as well as putting a twenty minute car chase into the latest Lizzy McGuire movie to try and attract boys, ain't happenin. I also think they were trying to add some breathing room to the film, but this film doesn't need breathing room, it needs to move and be on point and the romantic interludes take it off point.<p>I think that the performances where fair to good with Shia LeBeouf being the stand out but he also has the most to work with. The Mikela character is nothing more than eye-candy and alot of her elements in the finale could have easily been swapped for one of the military guys, well except for the shmultsy stuff that would be a different movie all together then and it'd probably be on Logo. But once again the romantic subplot was completely out of place in this film and should have been removed to help the pacing and keep the film on track. <p> However, even with a romantic sub plot that takes up a good 20 to 30 minutes over the two and a half hour film it never jumps the track completely. It only detracts in the moment you are watching and is soon forgoton as you get back into the story at hand about the impending autobot/decepticon mayhem.<P> I think in the hands of some more capable writers the sequel could be the film this one could have been, and I think Michael Bay has done his best work even though it is riddled by alot of his trademarks, the difference here is that he's obviously not taking himself seriously here and that helps. I think if the sequel is a more Transformer centric storyline with minimal human element (let's face bay can't do people) then I think he could do a great job with the material, but the writers need to step back a minute and think about what movie they are writting and not try to please every studio talking head wispering into their ear.<p>The fx were great, top notch work as expected and even channeled through the AM reciever the sound was great.<p> there are only a couple of moments that I found cringe worthy outside of the romantic stuff, the kill bill riff is just played out, and I will always shudder when I hear someone say "My Bad". But even with all that I had a good time and will probably take my mom too it cause she's a sucker for tacky sci-fi flicks.<p> Here's to hoping for more diciplined writers for the sequel.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:46 a.m. CST

    "Green Lantern 24 guy was better in his briefness."

    by Shermdawg

    HOW DARE YOU mistake "Aaron Pierce, Agent of Shield" for Hal Gardner!!!

  • July 3, 2007, 3:52 a.m. CST


    by Shermdawg

    I'm still disappointed they cut it.<br><br> And seriously, can we do away with "FLAMES ON..." and substitute that with "LIPS ON..."? The lips were waaay worse.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:52 a.m. CST

    Bay films unwatchable

    by Joe Huber

    Bay can't direct actors but he can direct robots? Let's face it Bay can't direct PERIOD. Some of his best movies are driven by star power. Without Bruce Willis Armageddon is..........unwatchable. Even with him it's hard to struggle through the movie. He puts that movie on his back and drags the fx and other stars. Without Will Smith Bad Boys would have never sold tickets. The 2nd film is even worse. I tried watching it once and couldn't stomach the storyless movie. Without Sean Connery & Ed Harris along with Michael Biehn The Rock would be unwatchable. All these movies I LIKED. I got them all on dvd, but NONE of Bay's films hold up over time. I even own Pearl Harbor and I can't pop in one of those dvds and sit down and actually watch the movie again. I can go see them in the theaters one time and after that have no interest in seeing them again. To me the strength of a movie doesn't relie on how I feel at the moment, but whether I want to watch the film again and again. The few times I watched a Bay movie more than once all the mistakes stick out like a sore thumb and I ask myself "Why did I like this in the first place?" Most times the answer is the actors. Sure as hell isn't the director.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:54 a.m. CST

    And the cop scene could have been cut done

    by RevSick

    or removed completely for another way of doing it, it was just dull and not funny.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:58 a.m. CST

    He can direct the robots

    by RevSick

    because he's just directing the scenery, and the stuff splodin, ILM is making the robots, hell ILM should get a co-director credit on this thing. He does alright here with capable actors, Shia, the guy who plays the dad, if he has a capable actor he can do alright, but when you have people who are only eye candy and not very good actors then he can't do anything with em but make em look pretty.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:01 a.m. CST

    "if the sequel is a more Transformer centric storyline"

    by Shermdawg will cost a bajillin dollars. And that'll never be in the cards, not just for the budget, but for the fact that Spielberg, Bay and no one in Hollywood, or at least no one involved with this franchise thinks that it could work without some sort of human element grounding it. So get used to the phrase "TINO!", you'll see it for at least two more films it looks like.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:07 a.m. CST

    I think the TINO thing is going to be going away soon

    by RevSick

    To be honest when the Transformers are on screen it feels like Transformers. Even when it's just one robot attacking a base, you get the feeling your watching Transformers, but you really get that feeling when they start interacting with each other/sam on more of a person to person basis.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:12 a.m. CST

    God Bless Peter Cullen..

    by Redfive!

    But this film blew dog. I knew the Transformers would not be front and center and that crappy characters who nobody cares about would be.BRING ME THE HEAD OF MICHAEL BAY AND SOMEBODY PLEASE PUT TO SLEEP THE WRITERS OF THIS WHILE YOUR AT IT.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:12 a.m. CST

    God Bless Peter Cullen..

    by Redfive!

    But this film blew dog. I knew the Transformers would not be front and center and that crappy characters who nobody cares about would be.BRING ME THE HEAD OF MICHAEL BAY AND SOMEBODY PLEASE PUT TO SLEEP THE WRITERS OF THIS WHILE YOUR AT IT.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:14 a.m. CST

    For awhile there, I honestly thought TINO was...

    by Shermdawg

    ...short for Tarantino, over his little altercation with Murphy.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:14 a.m. CST


    by TheNorthlander

    It's not "big, dumb fun". It really rocks, but I don't think most people see it's aimed at kids. It's the same kind of movie as Flight of the Navigator only with absolutely massive crazy action sequences throughout and made with today's technology. But it does have some E.T. moments and the screenplay is not bad. In fact, the story progression has better buildup than most movies you see nowadays. It flows really well and the act changes never feel forced. The midpoint doesn't slow the movie down. You know those exposition scenes that are always necessary in movies but have a tendency to feel really contrived? They don't here, because they're entertaining. It works, and it's not dumb. Anyone who says so should try writing a few screenplays.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:16 a.m. CST

    Dude Northlander....

    by RevSick

    ....I just watched the movie and the romantic subplot brings the movie to a grinding halt. If they removed it it would have kept up a great pace without slowing down. The romantic subplot did not fit at all. But the rest of the stuff works, just not the Sam/Mikela plotline.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:19 a.m. CST

    If you cut from him buying the car

    by RevSick

    to bumblebee taking off by himself then it would have flowed much better. Instead you start out this fast pace action flick and then screech to a halt to cover a storyline that doesn't fit and is hardly even touched upon in the entire second half of the film.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:23 a.m. CST

    I wish they had cut the worthless hacker&Frenzy bits...

    by Shermdawg favor of developing the army unit's characters.<br><br> Frenzy's design was beyond bad, and the only redeeming moment was him trying to act all casual while escaping the airport.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:25 a.m. CST

    ways to identify a fanboy/hater

    by slkboxrman more than ten times in one talkback...not counting replies to other messages.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:25 a.m. CST

    Dude shermdawg

    by RevSick

    I'll agree Frenzy's design is bad, it's too busy and very cluttered. But I'll take Frenzy and the Hackers over the bad romantic smultz anyday. BELIEVE ME, you'd want it that way too. The Hacker stuff translates a bit better onscreen but alot of that is how it's cut, it's paced so quick when it comes to the army/hacker stuff that it's paced alot better than the script/novel.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:28 a.m. CST


    by RevSick

    it's a talkback, it's kinda pointless if nobody posts, jack ass.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:28 a.m. CST

    ways to identify a fanboy/hater

    by slkboxrman

    #2.......overly negative, saying how there are too many "cuts" when most reviewers, professional and amateur say there are less"cuts" than any of michael bays movies....

  • July 3, 2007, 4:29 a.m. CST

    ways to identify a fanboy/hater

    by slkboxrman

    #3......incessant whining about transformers "mythology" as if its right up there with the bible.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:30 a.m. CST


    by RevSick

    have you even watched the fucking movie yet to where you can add to the conversation or are you just going to be a fucking troll?

  • July 3, 2007, 4:30 a.m. CST


    by slkboxrman

    yea as long as u post something relavent and not the same dribble over and over and over and over and over..... get it ? got it ? good

  • July 3, 2007, 4:32 a.m. CST

    Dude did you read my fucking post about watching

    by RevSick

    the fucking movie jack ass, apparantly not. I said I liked it you tool, go up and fucking read the fucking post fucktard.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:34 a.m. CST

    We're trying to have a conversation about the merits

    by RevSick

    of the film as a whole. It's not fucking perfect, there are bits and pieces that don't fit, but it's a good piece of entertainment. So if you're not going to read the posts and just be a troll please just fuck right off so that those of us who want to have a conversation about the film can.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:35 a.m. CST


    by slkboxrman

    seein said movie tonite....dont have to SEE it to know it will be amazing.....the TROLLS are joecooler, industry killer, wolf w/out nads...who have nothing but there own silly opinions which havent changed for a long time...why should seeing the movie change their opinions, they were spewing the same crap, word for word before it came out...i doubt they actually saw u said its a talkback, so i can post crap like any other member, thanks , now go away .....peace

  • July 3, 2007, 4:35 a.m. CST

    so basically Rev

    by Lost Prophet

    the flaws in this film all derive from the shitty script? <p>Quelle fucking surprise. Glad you enjoyed it though

  • July 3, 2007, 4:37 a.m. CST

    Lost Prophet

    by RevSick

    It's a shitty read, but plays out well on screen. The only part that doesn't make it is the romantic subplot. Everything else translates alot better on screen than in print.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:37 a.m. CST

    wasnt pickin on u REV

    by slkboxrman

    i read ur post, ur not a troll..i mention those by name....FYI i do read the posts, but i see the same names over and over and over and over and theyre sayin the same thing over and over and over, gets annoying....i actually enjoyed ur post dude

  • July 3, 2007, 4:38 a.m. CST

    Seeing the movie could change their opinion Slkbxrman

    by RevSick

    it changed mine. The script is a terrible read, the book just as much, but most of it translates well on screen.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:39 a.m. CST

    even the moron pissing jokes?

    by Lost Prophet

    and "my bad". That shit makes me die inside.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:40 a.m. CST


    by slkboxrman

    all scripts are a "terrible read" ive read many because im studying to write screenplays...they really werent meant to be read like a novel per say

  • July 3, 2007, 4:40 a.m. CST


    by RevSick

    if you see the same names over and over you don't have to read or comment on their posts. If there is someone who is just not getting it and isn't going to add to the conversation then you don't have to talk to them, or adress their shit.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:41 a.m. CST

    My bad was cringe worthy....

    by RevSick

    ...the piss joke is so quick if Optimus didn't tell Bumblebee to "stop lubricating" on the guy you probably wouldn't have noticed he was peeing on him.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:42 a.m. CST


    by slkboxrman

    the scrolling past all those posts are what kills try to ignore em but i see em out of the corner of my eye...

  • July 3, 2007, 4:43 a.m. CST

    But realistically Lost Prophet

    by RevSick

    the only thing that fucks up the flick is that Sam/Mikela plot. It doesn't fit and slows everything way the fuck down.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:44 a.m. CST

    Welp I'm out....

    by RevSick

    ...I'm gonna crash, later.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:46 a.m. CST

    "dont have to SEE it to know it will be amazing"

    by Shermdawg

    Wait, are you really that easy of a sell?<br><br> Jeez, sorry for you.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:47 a.m. CST


    by Joe Huber

    You don't have to see crap to know it's crap. It stinks. Like this movie. I normally have an open mind about movies and most everything in life. I have hundreds of dvds so that should show I like a lot of movies. To prejudge something like this I have to be convinced how bad it is. I tried to give this film every opportunity to prove me wrong. It failed. Even crappy movies have fooled me from time to time with good commercials. Transformers couldn't even do that. From someone who loved Transformers as much as I do you have to go out of your way to alienate me. Bay & Murphy did that. Blame them not me. I was looking for every reason for them to prove me wrong. They couldn't. I'm not a "check your brain at the door" kinda guy. I think more of Transformers than Bay's "Giant fucking robots" theme. They are more than that to me. The characters are diverse (or they were before this movie) and that is the real shame of this movie. We don't get to see that. I enjoy a good story over pretty CGI (though none of these robots are even that) anyday. Call me old-fashioned but I like to be entertained by a good story and not just flashy/shaky camera-work. I know style is given more credit than substance these days, but I still enjoy a good story. I just know when Michael Bay is involved I will not be getting one.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:48 a.m. CST


    by Lost Prophet

    smells like a film in dire need of a fast forward button. Especially seeing as all praise still admits the plot is wafer thin. Fuck it, if I get a way to not pay for it and see it I will, and if I don't hate it I'll be more than happy to eat some humble pie.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:52 a.m. CST

    Give it time...

    by The Lonely Dachshund

    All those people saying this movie rocks will be eating their words in a few months. Just like last summer when Superman Returns came out. Remember all those saying “No, really. It has some flaws but…” Now we’re hard pressed to find anyone who thinks SR was even worth a second viewing. Remember when King Kong came out? A lot of people defended that one too. I honestly think Transformers will go that way as well: people who want to love it and want to prove the haters wrong will stand by it now but given enough time and once the hype dies down, everyone will admit the truth: Transformers had some really cool effects but was ultimately failure. It looks cool but once you get past the effects, there’s nothing else. Not even for an action film. Can anyone really watch Bumblebee piss on John Turturro and say this movie rocks? Can anyone watch that Mountain Dew machine transform into a robot and say this movie isn’t just one giant product placement commercial (Nokia phones, anyone)? And about those effects but am I the only one who kept thinking “Please lock down the damn camera and stop cutting away when the robots are on-screen!” Bay spends lots of time staring at Megan Fox’s body but doesn’t seem to care about showing us the robots. And I forget who said it in this talkback but I agree: the ending sequence in the city was a complete mess. I couldn’t tell who was fighting who and where. (How did Shia get from the bottom floor of that building to the roof using only the stairs and still beat Megatron AND Optimus Prime?)

  • July 3, 2007, 4:57 a.m. CST

    Just last week I mentioned this...

    by Shermdawg

    "These days studios rely to much on effects to sell a film rather than back in the 80's when you had interesting stories, characters, and premises to warrant them, or to make up for the lack of the technology at the time (or budget). Films of that era are ultimately more rewatchable than just about any sci-fi flick released within the last ten years. Hopefully since video games are catching up and in a few cases surpassing the visuals of film, more people will get a stomachache from all of that eyecandy (er, eyeache?) and Hollywood will be forced to change their ways."<br><br> But then again, unless we get better directors, good screenplays won't make a shit of a difference.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:04 a.m. CST

    Once again, Michael Bay Denis has proven that he is...

    by polyh3dron

    King Of The Forced Romantic Subplot... It is his one trademark that I can't stand.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:07 a.m. CST

    Well said Shermdawg

    by Joe Huber

    You hit the nail on the head there. I hate to be cynical more than anyone, but I refuse to lower my expectations to meet the garbage being put on movie screens. I LOVE movies. I spent thousands of dollars on vhs tapes before spending thousands more on dvds. On top of that I rent 6 movies a week (blockbuster) and watch movies on premium channels. To turn me off to a movie you have to go out of your way. Transformers has always been high on my list of interests. To get me to not want to see this film you have to completely disregard anything I liked about Transformers. Bay and company did that. Also you are right again Sherm in that a good story would be just as bad with a bad director. Unfortunately it is hard to match good stories with good directors these days. Usually one of them is a let-down.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:11 a.m. CST


    by Lost Prophet

    Although video games are catching up in terms of visuals I actually think they outplot most summer flicks. Seriously, some of the depth of characterisation in games pisses all over that in Spiderman 3- and that is not exceptional.<p>Other than that- spot on man.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:12 a.m. CST

    GibsonUSA Returns post in Massa's tb...

    by Shermdawg

    ...tickled the shit out of me.<br><br> "This movie F'N SUCKED!!!!! YOU ALL LIED TO ME!!!!!!!!!! <br><br>I am f'ing pissed!What the F*** was that??????? <br><br>This webpage was hyping up THAT CRAP?????? It was just 2.5 hours of stupid jokes! It was embarassing! The only redeeming quality was the very very end, but by then the lame cheesy jokes already killed it.<br><br> WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME????? <br><br>Seriously, why did you lie to me?? Yes, I had been trashing the designs, but I repeated over and over again that I hoped the movie itself would be good. You guys got me hyped up. WHY????? NO, it's not even good for a mindless movie. It's not good for ANY movie. The whole crowd walked out depressed. Live Free was so much SO MUCH better. OMG how could you lie to me......"

  • July 3, 2007, 5:15 a.m. CST


    by Shermdawg


  • July 3, 2007, 5:18 a.m. CST


    by Lost Prophet

    think of poor Gibson and his broken dreams. You heartless cads

  • July 3, 2007, 5:18 a.m. CST

    Funny shit

    by Joe Huber

    I gotta admit I was down about this movie, but that post made me laugh. I feel sorry for the guy, but damn that's funny.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:30 a.m. CST

    "And I must say the script is vastly different..."

    by Shermdawg

    No it's not. Everything they tinkered with was minor.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:33 a.m. CST

    Bay was Spielberg's bitch; just like Tobe Hooper...

    by Zardoz

    Oh, no I di'int! Ooooh-we! I'll wait a couple of weeks and then sneak in for free for this one. Maybe I'll pay for "Sicko" and see TF FOR FREE!

  • July 3, 2007, 5:42 a.m. CST

    Gany- just out of curiosity

    by Lost Prophet

    Given the conversion of the likes of messi and Yack, if you had honestly disliked the film would you have said so?

  • July 3, 2007, 6:04 a.m. CST

    I dont need VERN WARNING BSB and all haters

    by Phategod1

    steer clear I saw this (FO FREE) and it suck gigantic floppy donky dick I'll elaborate later its 7 AM and I havn't slept yet peace bros.

  • July 3, 2007, 6:22 a.m. CST

    Of course he liked it

    by Lost Prophet

    quelle fucking surprise. <p>It would have been more interesting if he had hated it. <p>i know I am repeating myself, but work is dull today.

  • July 3, 2007, 6:30 a.m. CST

    The wife is American

    by Lost Prophet

    and I tried to pull independence day to get the day off. <p>They laughed at me. <p>It was terrible. When the MAN CATS take over there will be vengeance. <p>PS- I'm with Roddy Doyle regarding jazz: It's musical wanking.

  • July 3, 2007, 6:40 a.m. CST

    It doesn't rain inside strip clubs

    by Lost Prophet

    at least not water. <p>Yuck. Sometimes I even disgust myself. Sorry.

  • July 3, 2007, 7:09 a.m. CST

    Just saw it last night...

    by Ricky Henderson

    For all the bitching we did about the script for months and months this was a much better movie than any of us deserved. If you'd approached me a year ago and told me that I'd be praising this movie, I'd call you bat-shit crazy and give you a popsicle. My oh my, how things have changed. <br> <br> See, they completely nailed Prime, which was what sold the movie for me. Cullen's voice wasn't quite what it used to be, but the paternal warrior/poet vibe is definitely there. I'm not sure why people are complaining about the Turturro/Voight acting, because both performances fit the tone of the movie perfectly--bombastic & witty. And suffice to say that visions of Megagan Fox's midriff have been properly stored in Rickey's spank bank. <br> <br> It turns out that Bay's flag waving style was a terrific match for this property. I wish he could hold the camera still a little bit more, but that's really my only gripe with Bay in this flick. If Dreamworks is smart, they'll chain him to this franchise for the next 25 years because this man WAS MADE to make movies about giant robots hitting each other. The movie doesn't hold back: not on the action, humor, or heart. If you haven't already, go see it pronto. It's a huge kick to the man-balls.

  • July 3, 2007, 7:59 a.m. CST

    P.S. my full review can be found hither:

    by Ricky Henderson<br> <br> After seeing this movie, I'm starting to see why it was so damned hard for the early reviewers to write something without sounding like plants. But hey, I gave it a shot.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:06 a.m. CST

    WolfmanNards you fucking idiot

    by messi

    you fucking lost the plot once you said 'smallest movies you've ever seen' you fucking idiot. I could name thousands of films smaller than this. if this is one of the smallest films you've ever seen then the only films you have seen must consist of the lord of the rings trilogy, transformers and star wars. This is an incredibly expensive looking film. some of the complaints you have are because they didn't have enough money.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:09 a.m. CST

    The 80's Transformers fans last night ate that shit up.

    by kikuchiyoboy

    People were hollaring and shouting. People were clapping and saying "yeah!" Half the time while the crowd screamed, all I kept thinking to myself was, "is that an arm?" Sometimes I wasn't sure what I was looking at. I couldn't stop giggling in my head. I kept thinking "I can't believe they made Transformers into a movie. I'm probably surrounded by 500 geek boners right now". A movie this big should not make me wander beyond the screen. As much as I liked it, I didn't know what they were cheering about. Yes there was action happening, but some scenes just looked like a bunch of metal on metal. Like sticking your head in a trash can. They cheered for that, but not for "roll out"? Come on! I must be getting old. <br> <br> I'm also an 80's fan. I used to make my own little transformer films with some stop motion action. I really really liked the movie. Not loved, but really enjoyed it. The converging stories was a good way to try to bring tension and introduce characters. The moment everyone converges should have been the "here we go" moment, but it wasn't. The problem is that Bay never gives his films room to breath and let characters get comfortable with the world he has created. It's like talking to a coke addict for 2.5 hours. You're just like "Waaa? Wait wait back up. take a pill and slow it down". When Bay does pause in his films it's like he's just not confident enough to let the actors or character really have a quiet one and one with the audience. Instead he throws 3's Company situations at the audience cause he thinks we're gonna leave if we're not laughing or going "wow". <br> <br> Part of me wonders what if Saving Private Ryan was never made. I loooved that film, but everyone has bastardized the camera work in that film. And one thing no filmaker has been able to grasp is by the last scene in, Saving Private Ryan, we had characters we cared about. And one MAJOR thing no one realizes is that Kaminski actually pulls back from the action. We actually get a feel for the environment before all hell brakes loose. There was actual method to the mayhem. There was an actual arc for the cinematography. It was a build up from the overwhelming action to a final showdown in which the audience now had a clear view of the action. But action filmakers don't seem to get that. It's shaky cam shaky cam. <br> <br> I enjoyed Transformers, but definitely can see why one wouldn't. Like I said before how do you make a film that's essentially about an alien race looking for food? I amazed they were able to actually make a decent film out of an 80's cartoon. They brought to life things I loved. Transforming is bad ass and Prime is a dignified hero. But didn't like the gen x feeling of the other autobots and while some of the action was amazing there were some I couldn't tell an anus from elbow. <br> <br> If the final scene was better orchastrated this would have been a great movie. It's not a bad introductory into some wonderful characters. My biggest surprise was how badass Starscream was. Starscream kicked all sorts of ass. <br> <br> That's my 2 cents and a couple nickel and dimes. I really wonder what Brad Bird could do with this franchise.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:09 a.m. CST


    by messi

    i cannot believe you thought ths same mikaela bits were boring, dude if you weighed it down, it lasted a total of 10-15 and in a movie that last 145 is that much? I actually thought it was some of the best parts, paced really well and just enjoyable to watch.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:11 a.m. CST

    I got called a PLANT

    by messi

    it is hard to believe though, it was so hard to write my review without sounding like a plant and also excruciatingly fast as an AICN talkbacker to get it in.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:11 a.m. CST


    by tile_mcgillus

    I want to read you review. With all the "hater" conversions it will be interesting to see what you think...<p> Still have not seen it...dont plan it for awhile. I can only take so much pain...FF2 & SPM3 almost killed me.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:14 a.m. CST


    by messi

    I really think if Bay had more money it would have been an even better film. Some films, like when Prime says "one shall stand, one shall fall" I bet Bay wanted to have Optimus say it to the camera but money didn't allow it. I can only imagine how big the next one will be.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:17 a.m. CST

    Indeed, messi

    by Ricky Henderson

    I juse read your review (I had avoided all the TBers reviews until I'd seen the film) and you summed things up perfectly. Some of the jackasses here at AICN will yell "plant!" if George Lucas himself comes to their house and tells them what he thought of Transformers. Good review--strong work buddy.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:18 a.m. CST


    by messi

    read the script again. i'm halfway and the dialogue is almost entirely different and that made a massive impact on the movie. MOTHERFUCKING BIZZARO IN SEPTEMBER!

  • July 3, 2007, 8:20 a.m. CST


    by tile_mcgillus

    Dude. What the hell is going on your head right now. After your review for the film was lukewarm at best you seem to be really pushing the film right now...Did it sweeten with time?

  • July 3, 2007, 8:20 a.m. CST

    well some people

    by messi

    didn't like my review, i should have pointed out that I was writing it from the point of view of an AICN talkbacker who was a long time detractor. I'm not Roger Ebert, I don't trust real reviews, I judge for myself, my name is messi and i'm here for TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:24 a.m. CST

    Well Tile

    by messi

    My review was written for talkbackers about their concerns of the movie, notice i never mention certain performances or talk about the army bits, because i was letting people know about the film in general and all the stuff they wanted to know. but yeah i have seen it again and i really really like it. The Edith Piath movie is out soon and I would seriously use that cash to watch Transformers again. Fuck it. Movies are for fun and this was fun. Its the reason i used to go when I was younger. Fucking AICN almost changed that. But things like Starscream's air battle is why you go to movies, so you walk out saying 'that was fucking crazy' rather than 'i like how they captured the essence of post modern berlin and juxtaposed it with post 9-11 themes'. Fuck that. Starscream fuckers.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:27 a.m. CST

    Yeah the fights look amazing...

    by tile_mcgillus

    I figured the fights would just fucking blow your sicks off. I mean it is robots fighting, and transforming. That is why we liked the cartoon as kids, that very concept. It is the story and Independence Day REDUX that scares me.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:28 a.m. CST

    Transformers 2

    by messi

    Soundwave. Blitzwing. Astrotrain. Thundercracker. Skywarp. Rumble. Shockwave. Constructicons. <p> Sideswipe. Sunstreaker. Wheeljack. Hound. Dinobots. <p>You know it.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:29 a.m. CST

    It is true messi

    by Lost Prophet

    defending this film has made you more enthusiastic for it. You also refer to the Starscream bit solidly as an outright justification a lot more than you did in that review. <p>I called you foilage but was just messing around, sorry man.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:31 a.m. CST

    No way

    by messi

    the ID4 bit i can only think of is in hoover damn and that lasts all of 2-3 mins. ID4 was a real dumb movie, i was about 11-12 and even then I thought some parts were just dumb and empty. This is not, some shots yeah, but not as a whole. The story is actually good and I don't think they could of done anything else for an introduction movie, where the converging storylines builds the movie to the mega ridiculous climax of TOTAL FUCKING DETSRUCTION. The sequel however now has the pathway to use more of the cartoon which they should, the idea of the war being for natural resources would be perfect.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:33 a.m. CST

    Nah it's not justification

    by messi

    it's just fucking awesome. Ohh and the blackout scene. I think most people don't really think about it since it's the first scene and there is so much after it, but really, that's an incredibly original spectacular scene that puts whole movies to shame. The first 5-7 mins of Transformers was better than the entirity of Superman Returns.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:34 a.m. CST

    Just "OK"

    by ScotFree

    I like watching both good "films" and mindlessly fun "movies," and I went into Transformers expecting the latter. But even then, I was kind of disappointed. Shia was good, Megan was VERY nice to look at and there were moments and scenes of badassery, I'll admit, but the action was undermined by too many extreme closeups - you couldn't tell what was going on most of the time. I went to see this with a friend of mine, and we agreed that the fight scenes could have used more distance shots. I wanted to SEE what was going on between Megatron and Optimus Prime, not just blurry close up shots. That said, I liked the inclusion of the army guys more than I expected to, the gimmick of Bumblebee using the radio to 'talk' worked a LOT better than I expected to (Im not talking about him choosing songs for Sam, Im talking about him using broadcasts to subtitute for his voice), and the movie was funnier than I expected. It's definitely not the worst movie I've seen this summer (that would be Spiderman 3), but it's not the best either. 2.5/4 here. It was fun, but I think it could have been much more.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:35 a.m. CST


    by kikuchiyoboy

    Yeah it seemed "squeezed" Maybe that's why no one really shouted when he said "roll out" It was kind of just thrown in. Either way Iths film is a decent first entry. <br> <br> After seeing the little Jukebox Decepticon I definitley can't wait for Rumble. He could be a fun kick ass character. <br> <br> I'm definitely up for a sequel.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Anthony Anderson

    by lionbiu

    really kills the movie....could not stand his character for more than 10 seconds. I still say this was a average movie with amazing action/CGI

  • July 3, 2007, 8:36 a.m. CST

    seriously though messi

    by Lost Prophet

    smashing yourself with a hammer is better than SR. <p>This has a feel that peoples enthusiasm for it is so intense that it will burn out.<p>as will the hatred for it.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:36 a.m. CST

    Oh and BTW...

    by ScotFree

    Anyone who claims that Moriarty is shilling for Bay or that he was paid off for this review has clearly not been paying attention to this site (or Moriarty) for the past few years. Just laughable.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:37 a.m. CST

    Oh and BTW...

    by ScotFree

    Anyone who believes that Moriarty was paid off for this review or that he is a Bay apologist clearly hasn't been paying attention for the last few years. It's just a ridiculously laughable accusation to make.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:39 a.m. CST


    by ScotFree

    for the double post - I'm new at the TB thing... Completley missed the 'Caching' warning. Baby steps. :)

  • July 3, 2007, 8:43 a.m. CST

    I don't know prophet

    by messi

    the general public are loving this and not the 'yeah i liked it' but the 'i loved it', i don't think the enthusiasm will burn out, I'm objective about things and it's just an enjoyable well put together movie. I'm as shocked as you are that Bay possibly made a decent movie.

  • July 3, 2007, 8:44 a.m. CST

    Superman Returns cost $200 Million

    by messi

    it had 2 action sequences. The Plane Rescue and Return to Krypton which was not used but cost $10 Million. Singer cranks that piece of shit out for $190 on screen yet Bay Cranks Transformers out which has about 13 Action sequences for $150 Million??? What the fuck man?!

  • July 3, 2007, 8:45 a.m. CST

    Yes, but I remember the general public

    by Lost Prophet

    loving ID4 which frankly smelt. Not to mention Forrest Gump

  • July 3, 2007, 8:46 a.m. CST

    where did you get $150m from?

    by Lost Prophet

    I thought it was more. Didn't SR cost more than that as well?

  • July 3, 2007, 8:57 a.m. CST

    But people still fondly look back at ID4 as a fun film.

    by kikuchiyoboy

    The sequel is the clincher for this. I dug this movie but they need to let the characters breath. With more dough they can have those extra frames dedicated for charatcer and not just "the boom". <br> <br> Only time will tell. Bay had the touch. What can you say?

  • July 3, 2007, 9 a.m. CST

    ********** What I want to know is..... **********

    by JDanielP

    .....which one of you numb-nuts are going to fetch me a refill on my giant bucket of popcorn, halfway into this movie? And don't forget the napkins or I'll send you back...'cause you know I'm going to have butter all over my face, from cramming popcorn in by the handful.

  • July 3, 2007, 9 a.m. CST

    not that many do

    by Lost Prophet

    and nowhere near as many that raved about it.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:06 a.m. CST

    True LP.

    by kikuchiyoboy

    My favorite summer film will always be Aliens. I was young when I saw it, but it never gets old. What a great friggen movie. Whatever happened to those nicely developed epic action films?

  • July 3, 2007, 9:07 a.m. CST

    The next 20 movies will flush out the characters more

    by Ricky Henderson

    Because that's what i'm pretty much expecting. I expect Dreamworks to tell Michael Bay to be somewhere they can reach him for the next few decades. Or they go the Harry Potter route and hand off each new film to a new director every time. Either way, I'd be shocked if they cut the franchise short by just making a trilogy. Shocked.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:16 a.m. CST

    People can complain as much as they want...

    by FuzzyWhisper

    ...but Michael Bay's going to be laughing all the way to the bank. And for once, he completely deserves it. I couldn't care less how many talkbackers trash this genuinely excellent film, because the fact that it's being embraced by the general moviegoing public--you know, the ones that actually <i>matter</i> when they open up their wallets en masse--brings a big smile to my face. And make no mistake, it's for each and every one of you who has taste poor enough, humor dead enough and minds dull enough to condemn Transformers. <br><br> Have fun choking on your own rage about parts two and three. Meanwhile, I'll be giving thanks that nature hasn't cursed me priggishness.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:17 a.m. CST

    Insert the missing "with" at your own pleasure.

    by FuzzyWhisper

  • July 3, 2007, 9:25 a.m. CST

    "And make no mistake, it's

    by lionbiu

    "And make no mistake, it's for each and every one of you who has taste poor enough, humor dead enough and minds dull enough to condemn Transformers." What a stupid comment....I have seen the movie and it aint that great. It's not awful but pretty much on par with ID4 or T3.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:26 a.m. CST

    are you sure nature hasn't cursed you with priggishness

    by Lost Prophet

    what about twattiness?

  • July 3, 2007, 9:30 a.m. CST


    by tile_mcgillus


  • July 3, 2007, 9:34 a.m. CST

    Lost Prophet

    by FuzzyWhisper

    No, I think I'm good. But I appreciate your concern. No one's made up a pejorative term for me before, pumpkin.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:35 a.m. CST

    no problem mate.

    by Lost Prophet

    Give me some time and I'll find another.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:43 a.m. CST


    by Shermdawg

    FAVORITE FUCKING FILM THIS SIDE OF EMPIRE STRIKES BACK! <br><br> I can totally understand bringing ID4 into this (that flick shits all over Trannies though), but FORREST GUMP!? I know you weren't directly comparing the two Lost Prophet, but dammit, I loves me some Gump. Don't be knockin' Gump in a talkback that don't call for it. <br><br> Save that shit for the next talkback that deals with a mentally challenged individual. Y' Vin Diesel.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:44 a.m. CST

    Thanks, LP.

    by FuzzyWhisper

    I'd love to further indulge in this stimulating conversation, but I'm actually pretty secure with my own opinions, even if they don't win the approval of esteemed critics like yourself. Enjoy the rest of the talkback.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:47 a.m. CST

    sorry sherm- was out of context

    by Lost Prophet

    I just remembered it as a film that people deemed to have grown worse with time. First one that leapt to mind.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:47 a.m. CST


    by just pillow talk

    did you practice that in front of a mirror reading it out loud before you typed it? <p>LP, can we all call you pumpkin from now on?

  • July 3, 2007, 9:51 a.m. CST

    This is out of context and will probably get me banned

    by Lost Prophet

    Fuzzywhisper: <p>"I'd love to further indulge in this stimulating conversation, but I'm actually pretty secure with my own opinions, even if they don't win the approval of esteemed critics like yourself."<p>Every so often a pompous fool of the highest order crawls out of the woodwork to condescend and generally behave like an utter prig. I'm glad your secure with your own opinions, and am also ecstatic to have your permission to stay in the TB. <p>I would also like to thank you for your lucid, erudite and utterly patronising diatribe featuring phrases such as "minds dull enough" and finallly wish to express my eternal gratitude that I have been graced with a few measly lines that truly represent your genius. <p>Thanks, really, thanks.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:53 a.m. CST

    if you want pillows

    by Lost Prophet

    provided you kiss me afterwards. And pay fuzzy some royalties.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:56 a.m. CST

    fine, I'm easy

    by just pillow talk

    The royalty thingy I'm not too keen on though...<p>It's good that fuzzy enjoyed the movie since he's not too "uptight", at least according to what he posted in Massy's review TB. Whew!

  • July 3, 2007, 9:58 a.m. CST

    the rod up his ass has a rod up his ass

    by Lost Prophet

    what a prig

  • July 3, 2007, 10:56 a.m. CST

    Sherm, FORREST GUMP sucks donkey dick

    by Yack Backer

    Sorry, you WB-lovin' pansy. 'Tis true!

  • July 3, 2007, 10:58 a.m. CST

    Finally read this, Mori...

    by Zarles

    ...and you're spot on. Harry's review pales in comparison.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:01 a.m. CST

    hey yack

    by Lost Prophet

    I hate the gump but am willing to accept that Americans love it

  • July 3, 2007, 11:16 a.m. CST

    I'm not sure who loves the Gump

    by just pillow talk

    Sherm does, and that's cool. But I don't know of many people who do or refer to it as a classic.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:19 a.m. CST

    I thought it was just a british thing to hate it,

    by Lost Prophet


  • July 3, 2007, 11:22 a.m. CST

    nope pumpkin (royalty paid)

    by just pillow talk

    I'm American, and I sure as hell don't like it. I don't know if it sucks donkey genatelia...perhaps a medium sized dog's dick. Maybe a lab or something.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:22 a.m. CST


    by RevSick

    ...the pacing of the film was great till it screeched to a halt to do those lame herbie the love bug moments that just didn't fit. It also didn't fit just because of the tone of everything, piss jokes, shit blowed up, masterbation jokes, touching romance just don't work with it. But the biggest problem for me was how it completely obliterated the pacing everytime they went into it. Plus I think it was an unnecessary storyline, you could have dropped it and still had her character start into the main story while Sam is on his pink bike. They changed it alot from the script, but it still just didn't fit in the story.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:26 a.m. CST

    where's he gone. Feel need to school him again

    by Lost Prophet

    I despise it. On every level. It really does chow down on donkey balls.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:27 a.m. CST

    watched Gump once in the theater

    by RevSick

    and i can live with out it for the rest of my days.

  • July 3, 2007, 11:59 a.m. CST

    Harry's review

    by Lando Griffin

    just reinforced why Mori is the only one to be trusted here

  • July 3, 2007, 12:06 p.m. CST

    perhaps giving himself a pep talk in front of

    by just pillow talk

    the mirror?<p>I stand corrected, the majority have declared that it sucks donkey dick. Sorry RevSick, but I'm lumping you in that category since you would be happy never seeing it again.<p>On topic here, not sure if I want to see Transformers or not. My wife asked me if I wanted to see it, and I mumbled that I'm not sure. She thinks it's cool that a Sikorsky helicopter is in it, or at least they came up with a robot that turns into a Sikorsky helicopter.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:25 p.m. CST

    Oh no need to appologize on that pillow

    by RevSick

    When we saw it my friend and I walked home and by the time we got home we were pissed we'd lost three hours to that trite bullshit. I'll have to agree with the author of the book, they turned him into the lucky retard who just stumbles from point to point without any understanding of what the fuck is going on, and the whole AIDS thing was just stupid.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:26 p.m. CST

    I think it's worth seeing in the theater

    by RevSick

    I would just prep yourself for the shitty romantic subplot that slows everything down.

  • July 3, 2007, 12:42 p.m. CST

    yeah, I'll probably end up seeing it

    by just pillow talk

    Just not immediately.

  • July 3, 2007, 1 p.m. CST

    Better reviews here

    by LittleDudes Transformers was fucken awesome.

  • July 3, 2007, 1:17 p.m. CST

    Liked Superman Returns...

    by RevSick

    ..although it did drag at points, namely the end

  • July 3, 2007, 2:23 p.m. CST

    I got a busy day but

    by Phategod1

    I tried writing a review but I dont think Harry got it I'LL write another Tonight when I get home.

  • July 3, 2007, 3:47 p.m. CST

    Um, does Jazz actually say, "I'm Jazz, b!tch?"

    by superninja

    What is wrong with people?

  • July 3, 2007, 3:51 p.m. CST

    Even when the Transformers cursed in the

    by superninja

    animated movie, they were not trashy. So the TF have been indocrinated into trash pop culture by the sounds of the review I've read. A number of them have called the film crass or trashy.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:06 p.m. CST

    superninja - surely the original

    by pjdon

    TF reflected the times in whih it was made.<p>Some one could have said it was 'indocrinated into trash pop culture' back then.<p>There was probably people who despised current culture in the 80's the same a lot of us despise current culture now.<p>You might not always like the current state of society, the fashion, the music etc but it is the reality of the times we live in and should be represented in films.<p>People will look back on our time and see it with the rose tinted glasses we view past generations.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:08 p.m. CST

    I don't recall Jazz calling anyone bitch superninja

    by RevSick

    It really is alot different from the script and the novel and the only part that did not translate well was the Sam/Mikela stuff and the Herbie the Love Bug aspects of Bumblebee during those scenes. Everything else translated to screen alot better than it read.

  • July 3, 2007, 4:39 p.m. CST

    No Bourne or Golden Age TBs?

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Do they not rate attention here? Or is it just All TINO, all the time?

  • July 3, 2007, 5:11 p.m. CST

    Since I'm the only sane voice of reason on AICN...


    (...okay, that was just an attention-grabber. I'm just as insane and unreasonable as anyone else in the TBs.)<p> But I would like to say that I loved the hell out of the film, though not for the reasons I thought I would. I knew I was going to enjoy the hot robot-on-robot action promised in the ads and trailers, but I didn't think I was going to be so entertained by the non-robot portions of the movie. The Shia & Fox scenes were --for my money, anyway-- surprisingly watchable and fun. The silly Bumblebee gags made me laugh, the military/government parts weren't all that exciting, but mercifully quick enough not to drag down the proceedings. I did think Turturro was over the top and too silly for how the rest of the film played, but I gave his aspect of the movie some leeway simply because he's the Al Pacino of off-kilter character actors and he was trying to earn his money.<p> Flames on Optimus? I didn't care. Lips on Optimus? I didn't like them, but they're not such a big problem. Lack of Decepticons in the movie? A problem. Though they did wreak SERIOUS fucking havoc after their introduction, I really would have liked it better if there were more Deceps out in full force throughout the movie. <p> And as much as I think Mori's review is accurate and Harry's review is pure lunacy, I do kind of agree with Harry that the full-on action in the third act (and thru most of the film, actually,) could have been less of an onslaught and more concisely thrilling. I really couldn't get the word "Bayhem" out of my mind watching the third act. I know now why everyone repeats that word in their reviews, because it really was mayhem. The fights were melees, and only rarely did they give you something to really feast on, like the Prime/Bonecrusher sequence or Starscream's dogfight. And even those scenes were way too short, I thought. It was mostly just big robots wrasslin' around with each other, knocking into cars, buildings and whatnot. Did I enjoy those scenes? Yeah, I did, but I thought all that was missing from most of them was a little bit of imagination, and it could have made all the difference. And by comparison, I mean things like: Nightcrawler's White House attack in X2; The Burly Brawl in Matrix Reloaded; The Prodrace in TPM; Legolas taking down a whole oliphant (with soldiers) in ROTK; The Xavier School invasion in X-2; The T-1000 mimicking the floor tiles and forming the body of the night security guard in T2; Schwarzenneger on a horse chasing a terrorist on a motorcycle through a hotel in True Lies; The Nightcrawler / Rogue rescue in X2. Scenes like that. Scenes where it isn't just an expression of the idea of the film's attraction (movie about big robots fighting featuring scenes of... big robots fighting...) but something, some twist, some out-of-the-box idea that burns a particular scene into your mind using the tools inside the story. Just that much would have made a big difference to me.<p> But again, I did like the action, and was pleasantly surprised by the non-action scenes, happy not to be horrified by the funny stuff (let's face it, humor is not Bay's forte... I have to give him credit for letting the actors find the funny. Namely Shia and his parents and hell, even Bernie Mac.) I actually even liked the scenes with Frenzy. I don't know why there's so much Frenzy-hate by people. He wasn't what I expected from the movie, but at least he was a distinguishable character. More than I could say for Barricade. And the underuse of Starscream is a flat-out crime, but I'm hoping they'll make up for it in the next film.<p> So... am I crazy or does anyone else agree with my foolish ramblings?

  • July 3, 2007, 5:19 p.m. CST

    A short amendment to my post--


    One fair example of a "memorable scene" in TF was the "Scorponok vs. the Soldiers" sequence. It was pretty thrilling, had some humor to it, had some good tension, and I liked that it was more like a monster movie scene rather than simply a "big-ass robot destroying things" kind of scene. That's what I'm talking about: It didn't have to just be robot-car fights robot-jet. There was room to stretch out a bit and give us some stuff we didn't expect going in, like a big-ass monster leaping out of the sand and ripping people apart. It had something different than the rest of the movie. I just wish they had considered more twists like that through the rest of the script.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:52 p.m. CST

    pjdon, that is very true, but

    by superninja

    don't make it right.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:57 p.m. CST

    pjdon, also the reviewers seem to be honing in on

    by superninja

    that it's a movie about toys for children. Now, you and I know that the TF fan base consists of a lot of adults and it's not just about the toys, but I think it's fair to say this film is being marketed to children. The toy shelves are filled with TF toys. <p> That's why I find the cursing, the finger, the urine jokes, the oogling of a teenage character, inappropriate. Of course you can find these in many films marketed to kids, but I think they're crass as well.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:58 p.m. CST

    superninja - it's just that people look back on films

    by pjdon

    from say the 80's and see the styling in something like the Warriors or Escape from New York and think that it is not contemparary.<p>They forget that things we consider cool now in an 80's film like Kurt Russels leather waste coat where just as contemparary as an I-pod or whatever now.

  • July 3, 2007, 5:59 p.m. CST

    Thanks, Revsick.

    by superninja

    It was probably someone in the talkbacks just making a joke.

  • July 3, 2007, 6 p.m. CST

    I'm not talking about fashions, I'm talking about

    by superninja

    a philosophical attitude that is deliberately crass. I think it would be difficult to deny this about Bay as a filmmaker.

  • July 3, 2007, 6:04 p.m. CST

    superninja - it does stink of a more cynical

    by pjdon

    time having the main female character so seductive when in a film like Back to the Future in the 80's you wouldn't have had something like that.<p>But firstly kids these days are different, this film is for them the same way the original series was for us.<p>Plus Bay wants to get the teenagers in as much if not more than the kids.<p>Like I said before it is representitive of the times we live in now, for better or for worse.<p>The 00's equivelent of an 80's girl in a leather jacket with bunches is someone like Megan Fox i suppose.

  • July 3, 2007, 6:17 p.m. CST


    by FuzzyWhisper

    I definitely agree. The slower scenes didn't kill the movie for me, which I'd worried might happen. They were actually engaging, which came as a bit of a shock. I can see why Shia's gaining popularity. He's strong in a lead role that could have come off as really cliche. The pacing was pretty well balanced too. That's another action movie potential pitfall that was handily avoided. <br><br> I think you're on the money, for the most part, as far as the action scenes are concerned. The Starscream air battle in particular ended far too soon, but what we did get was stunning. That huge melee at the end was sort of expected, and not just because Bay was in the director's chair. What's a giant robots movie without a crazy over-the-top brawl? I think that's probably what a lot of audience members wanted to see, and it was definitely delivered.

  • July 3, 2007, 6:19 p.m. CST

    superninja - agreed, the man has no

    by pjdon

    restraint or taste. And is possibly not the best example to prove my point. <p>But people do jump on things just because they are contemarary a lot of the time. They seem to want every film to be set at least 10 yrs ago with no link to the real world in which we live.

  • July 3, 2007, 6:24 p.m. CST

    Transposed my words there.

    by FuzzyWhisper

    I meant "potential action movie pitfall."

  • July 3, 2007, 6:42 p.m. CST


    by TiNSeLToWN TeRRoR

    ....Mori's review. I always seem to agree with him. Ever since day one. Probably cause Mori was a projectionist at a theatre and so was i.HAHA. Anyways Bay is Bay. Deal with it!

  • July 3, 2007, 8:58 p.m. CST

    It was ok, but it was'nt as riveting & exciting as..

    by glodene

    The English Patient or A Room With A View. It could've used Ralph Fiennes and Emma Thompson as the leads to give the human scenes more gravitas...With that Nebbish Shia and that Vapid (little) Tart Megan attempting to emote was akin watching an ep of the Power Rangers. I guess i just prefer Michael Bay's earlier efforts, suchas The Rock, Armageddon & his (Citizen Kane - like Masterpiece) Bad Boys 2 before he sold-out.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:31 p.m. CST

    Gump = Sappy slice of americana and quotable quotes.

    by Shermdawg

    Not to mention it has a great soundtrack/score, great cast, and woderfully shot. But it's a Zemekis film, so thats almost always guaranteed.<br><br> Too bad he didn't helm Trannies, which I heard recently he was in the running to do so.

  • July 3, 2007, 9:35 p.m. CST

    Also, Deep Impact pwns Armageddon.

    by Shermdawg

    Gump & Impact = character driven flicks. Sue me for liking them, and flame on, you Human Torch wannabes. ;)

  • July 3, 2007, 9:41 p.m. CST


    by messi

    I have to disagree, most people are saying the romantic subplot was one of the films stronger points because it was funny(it wans't that long either) and this film wouldn't have gotten as much positive reviews if it didn't have it, the general public loved these scenes, if it didn't have these scenes it would have felt empty and been more ID4 and Fantastic Four than memorable.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:35 p.m. CST

    Shermdawg, I'm with you.

    by superninja

    I would take good characterization over great CGI any day of the week.

  • July 3, 2007, 10:39 p.m. CST

    JJ Abrams movie Tailer Cloverfield

    by islander

    I loved the movie Transformers (saw it today) but I could not stop thinking about the JJ Abrams untitled movie trailer. Looking on the web I see it has a working title "Cloverfiled". I am sure it has appeared on this site. does anyone here have any info?

  • July 3, 2007, 10:41 p.m. CST

    How was having a girl sit on his lap a strong point?

    by RevSick

    How is a lame riff of Herbie the Love Bug a strong point. It painfully slowed it down for me and was out of place with the movie. I think the Sam character would have been better served by building his character around the car not the girl. That's the relationship we're supposed to care about him and bumblebee not him and the girl.

  • July 3, 2007, 11 p.m. CST

    I saw this today and it was ... a PLETHORA!!

    by Dr.Sonus

    Awesome. And I'm an 80's kid - Transformers Fan and all - And I loved It. Sure there's Bay Bullshit to be found littered around, and a lot of glossing over Superstars like Starscream and Devastator - They were benched for nearly the whole game - and no real memorable nor distinguishable voices - except of course Prime. I also heard the robots refer to Prime as Optimus - which was wrong cuz he's just good 'ol "PRIME" back at the garage. But Shia - the sold it with his Cajun/Jew motor mouth and ILM stole it with their over-the-top superfly-Jimmy-Snuka-Stuffed-to-the Rafters-of-Supernova-inducing-Seizures-of-SUPER-Jumbo-ACTION-Effects. Damn, that's a LOT of Hyphens. If El Guapo asked me if there was a Plethora of Hyphens - I would have to modestly agree like Jefe. Seeing it again tomorrow -

  • July 3, 2007, 11:56 p.m. CST


    by RevSick

    ...that's my point exactly, trim up about twenty minutes worth of romantic interlude crap, and getting the extra hacker and viola much tighter.

  • July 4, 2007, 12:31 a.m. CST

    OK here's Phategod's take *SPOILER*

    by Phategod1

    I thought about this today about how to write this should I try to do it like a pro or right for the Talk backers. I've decided to say the hell with it, and just give it to you straight. Let me start with the positives Shai- as far as the Humans go, picks this movie up and carries it on his back being a veritable Atlas. Optimus Prime and Megatron are the only Transformers that got any real characterization. Prime is as noble as ever and You get a sense of how great a disdain for humans Megatron has especially in one scene where Megs and Prime fall of a roof and when Megatron comes to he's surrounded by humans and Megatron says "disgusting" and flicks a human. I said from the beginning it didn't matter what they looked like as long as they acted like the transformers I know and they (Optimus and Megatron) did Optimus looks like a tool with lips(and keeps them 99.9% of the time, even battles)and Megatron IS Megatron Even though he looks like a candelabra on steroids(and Since you cant tell who is doing the voice it didn't make sense to have Weaving do the voice over Welker).<p> Now for the Bad parts. And man is there allot. The Autobots I'm pretty sure have distinct characters that separate them; You can tell by the few lines they have which they all have English accents (save for Jazz the Black one) But the poor decepticons, they have even fewer lines and none that tell us anything about them other then there names. every other Human performance other then Sam fit your A typical Action Movie you have the funny paranoid Black stereo type, The Government official who doesn't believe shit stinks still he's standing in it, Hot school girl who dresses way to slutty (I know I'm getting old because my first thought when I saw her was were the hell are her parents.) and the rest are here on Bay Isle. The fight scenes are as Indecipherable as any Bay movie You really can't tell what the hell is going on when the Transformers fight each other except for the death blows, and Ironhide suffers from Micheal-Bay-Matrix-rip-off-itis. Also Bay needs to go back to film school and attend those lessons on Editing he missed the scene where BB fights Barricade Did I miss the part where BB gets a Megaman gun or the scene when Sam sees Bumble bee in robot for the 1st time Piss poor editing. And then there's the plot the Allspark resembles Vector Sigma but makes no sense why the hell would it be here on earth, and if it bring Machines to life why not make a army of autobots and what happened to Starscream frenzy, and barricade. And one John Tuturros overzealous Head of a secret government organization (Brent Spiner did it better in ID4)this has got be John's worse role ever. <p> in short if your not paying attention to anything this is greatest movie of the summer If Optimus Prime is the only character you care about this is greatest movie of the summer But the truth is this is just another Over hyped over produced Bay movie alot of people are saying this has to be seen in theater but I think its the other way around I don't know what format Dreamworks has chosen but your best bet is to get a 42 to 50 incher HD wait till it comes out for one pick up a player and enjoy your ability to slow down that short ass scene where Optimus Fights Bonecrusher, Or the scene where The Autobots go to get the Allspark then they see bumble bee with a military convoy and with no rap they just follow suit. Or the scene where Optimus RUNS from U.S. spycopters . But as I said before the best way to see this movie is for free or not at all.

  • July 4, 2007, 1:13 a.m. CST

    I applaud the majority of the pre-release "haters"


    ...for giving fair assessments and honest criticism now that they've seen the movie. It almost seems like they don't want to admit they like it, but can't flat out say they hated it. I was pumped to see it, enjoyed watching it, but I am starting to see some of the many plot holes people have been mentioning. But I have to admit, if all the early detractors of the film continued to mercilessly hate on it, and giving it no credit, I'd be much more convinced that I enjoyed it more, just to spite those being closed-minded. Kudos to Messi and Phategod (and others whose names I've forgotten) who have been fair in their comments about the film.

  • July 4, 2007, 1:35 a.m. CST



    Hey, I know you said this MANY posts ago, but I wanted to respond. <p> You said: "all scripts are a "terrible read" ive read many because im studying to write screenplays...they really werent meant to be read like a novel per say" <p> I disagree. It's true that most of them don't "read" well, because they're basically just blueprints. But if you get a James Cameron script or a Cameron Crowe script in your hands, THOSE are worth reading. Especially Jim Cameron. The guy writes page-turners, literally. He speaks to you as a reader, not just in industry shorthand and camera directions. He's just a damn good writer. And he's definitely the guy I emulate when I'm writing.

  • July 4, 2007, 1:41 a.m. CST

    Question for anyone who sat through all of the credits:


    The last shot I saw was (trying to keep this spoiler-free) one of the TFs flying off out of the atmosphere. Was there anything else after that? I wanted to sit through all of the credits, but had to take a monster piss ever since about the time Bumblebee gets captured. So did I see the final shot or was there a coda at the end? Thanks in advance to anyone who can answer.

  • July 4, 2007, 2:21 a.m. CST

    One more thing

    by Phategod1

    One more Positive no one agree with me on is Frenzy, Not for what he was but for what he could have become. If they would have given him the voice of a punk kid from new york he Would have stole the show. the Kill Bill thing was as a annoying because It was a iant Car commerical as is 75% of the whole movie. But the way BB pulls up and The camera catches the Camaro badge is just a insiped as the transforming Moutain Dew machine, Nokia Phone, and X-box 360. And here's the thing I love Mountain Dew, Nokia's, and I have a X-box 360. But with The Prouct placement Bayed Whored the Shit out of this movie.

  • July 4, 2007, 2:22 a.m. CST

    End Credits

    by islander

    TF flying off was the last bit of film. Credits finished rolling, nothing new at the end.

  • July 4, 2007, 3:53 a.m. CST

    What I Like About The Action...

    by drew mcweeny

    ... is, for the first time, I appreciate the way Bay stages it as mayhem instead of as carefully laid out, one turn after another. Many fight scenes in film, especially some of the best loved ones, aren't terribly realistic, cheating in order to clearly step through each beat for the viewer. Bay's best sequences in his various films are the ones where he lets things get out of control. The freeway chase in BAD BOYS 2 starts controlled, then gets bigger and sicker and more frantic, and I think that's what I like about it. Same with the scene at the end that's lifted from Jackie Chan's POLICE STORY. It starts as a carefully laid out stunt playing field, then turns into fucking madness. <P>Well, that's the third act of TRANSFORMERS, and I tend to think that if giant aliens that aren't terribly concerned with collateral damage started to throw down in the middle of the city, it would feel more like this. <P>Would I have enjoyed it if the fights were more like something that Yuen Wu Ping put together? Like an actual mo-cap Bruce Lee style throwdown? Sure. And in another director's hands, that might be what we got. Just... not this time. I don't think there's just one right way to shoot action. I never have. But I think this director has done it wrong in the past on many occasions, and this time, I think he gets it right. <P>Oddly, I don't feel the need to insult anyone who feels differently, even if they've already "called me out." I enjoyed the film. Shamelessly. As in, without shame. It's not a guilty pleasure. I just thought it was a pleasure. <P>Not the greatest film of all time, mind you. I'm not picking a camp and planting a flag and hurling superlatives by the cannon-full. Just fun. Enjoyable.

  • July 4, 2007, 6:04 a.m. CST

    Bay once again shows his total ineptitude

    by Sheeld

    The guy cannot create wondrous moments, or properly build up scenes. He has no feeling whatsoever for flow, whether in the story as a whole or in a particular scene. He just throws the kitchen sink at you and thinks that's what will awe the audience. Look at the introduction scene of the alien pod in Spielberg's War of the Worlds; THAT is how to build up an awe-inspiring action sequence. With Bay it just starts and stops, without ever creating a truly memorable moment. Honestly, amidst all the spectacle in Transformers, I can't remember one specific moment that truly stood out. Most scenes were actually laughably handled, as Vern astutely describes in his right-on-the-money review. It's not often that I think Mori gets things wrong, but favorably comparing this in any way, shape or form to Jurassic Park is just ridiculous, blasphemous almost. That movie had some of the greatest visceral scenes in action cinema history, truly memorable moments, as well as cool characters and a simple but effective plot. Transformers doesn't have any of that. And The Rock is easily Bay's most enjoyable work (the script flaw thing doesn't hold up at all) - it seems he just gets worse and worse as his film grow bigger and bigger. I wanted to like this so badly, but this movie was a disaster. The fx were great and Shia admirably held his own, but everything else was just awful. Vern is right, Mori is wrong. Terrible, terrible movie.

  • July 4, 2007, 6:43 a.m. CST

    re: What I Like About The Action...

    by mr. brownstone

    In theory what you are describing is a great approach to the final battle. In practice it was very hard to follow what the fuck was going on... so there was little tension. I love the idea of chaos incarnate on screen, trust me... I just don't think Bay pulled it off in a compelling way.

  • July 4, 2007, 12:56 p.m. CST

    agreed Brownstone

    by Phategod1


  • July 4, 2007, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Uber Geeks are Dumb

    by Mr_Satan

    First off, I loved the movie. I am a fan of the 80 cartoons and of Beastwars. TF: The Movie was dumb.. Get this I own it and love it no matter how stupid it is, and it is stupid. If you didn't watch the cartoons you wouldn't understand what was going on in that movie, so I see why he wrote that in his review. This movie didn't have all the characterizations correct everyone knows that. There could have been more sneakyness on the part of Starscream against Megatron. And Optimus could have gotten more time to explain why things got to that point between the decepticons and the Autobots but it was moving at to fast a clip for that. Unless you want another 3 hr movie on your hands. I don't. I thought it answered the periferal questions about the subjects fine for the time frame that was being covered in the movie. There will be a sequel and I will see it. You know how I know it was good not just because of the bigg fucking robots blowing shit up.. My wife who doesn't like action movies was actually claiming it was the best movie ever. And she doesn't even like the Transformers. She grinned from ear to ear with the awe inspiring first transformation from Truck to Optimus Prime.. There were those moments in the movie. You people are to damn jaded. I'm not a godamn plant either. I just love the movie. I want to see more. I want Fucking Unicron and Shockwave and Soundwave. If you haven't guessed I like the Decepticons more than the Autobots. This movie is fucking awesome. If you didn't like you have a stick up your ass the size of Megatrons Cannon. Till All Are One!!!!

  • July 4, 2007, 3:10 p.m. CST

    About the original movie, Mori...

    by jsarnold513

    The thing about the original Transformers movie that makes it incomprehensible to someone who wasn't a kid when it came out is that the movie is essentially a *sequel* to the cartoons. It builds upon what had been established over the previous two seasons of the show, and if you were five and six years old and had been spending literally a third of your life with those characters, seeing most of them get toasted within the first act was pretty damned heart wrenching. Then you have the epic final battle of Optimus Prime, who was the classic heroic character: noble, compassionate, and reluctant to use violence but a badass when he had to--all the while never coming off as boring, pretentious, or preachy like so many other purehearted heroes. Prime's death in the original movie was a defining moment for born in the late 70s and early 80s, our own personal "Ol' Yeller" moment. The first act of that flick was awesome. The second and third, in retrospect, were pretty weak, but the spectacle was great. I think the original's place in our hearts is built mostly off the first act and the fact that, once the show was pulled off the air after '87 the movie was the only part of that story available to us. Imagine if, for 20 years, the only Star Wars flick available on TV, VHS, or DVD was ROTJ. No ANH, no ESB. It's rep would have only grown, like TF: The Movie. The comics definitely had their moments, and I used to love them, but Simon Furman was no Stan Lee, and for me they always felt like they were just surrogates for the cartoon. As for the new movie, I think you pretty much hit it on the head. I loved it, I now understand how so many old timers who grew up with the 60s Batman must have felt about Batman Forever. The movie has problems, but it sure as hell delivers on the same thrills and nobility that TF gave me when I was a child. Even if there are some major changes that annoyed me, they still got the feel right, and they did Prime justice--the two most important things. Hopefully they re-design Megatron for the sequel and explore the mythos and sheer awesomeness of the TF in more detail.

  • July 4, 2007, 3:41 p.m. CST


    by TiNSeLToWN TeRRoR

    I mostly agree with you on all your reviews! I just saw it a 2nd time...And it's even better!

  • July 4, 2007, 10:44 p.m. CST


    by messi

    that's what you think but to most people this film is very memorable with very memorable parts, starscreams air battle is the first that comes to mind, and not just me but general public.

  • July 4, 2007, 10:45 p.m. CST


    by messi

    I don't get it. That scene with the lap was pretty sincere and even then it was a max of 2 minutes, you can't stand 2 minutes? You know what really feels slowed down, is in superman returns, when supes goes to stop the bank robbers and does NOTHING and then it cuts to some other scene. that is shit editing and pacing.

  • July 4, 2007, 11:02 p.m. CST

    Never said Superman Return was perfect....

    by RevSick

    ...and no I can't stand 2 minutes when it doesn't fit. They just got attacked by robots and the first thing he does is try and get her to sit on his lap. It was just dumb. But that part that slowed it down the most was the shit with the lake. You could have cut that, jumped to bumblebee taking off for the first time, and still had her chase after him on her vespa, plus, what the fuck would he care if her dad was a car theif or she had a juvee records they've been talking for two days and he just wants to get in her pants.

  • July 4, 2007, 11:11 p.m. CST

    Transformers Delivers

    by D-Man

    Saw the first show of the day on the 4th. The place was packed. The ushers were grinning when they tore our tickets to go in saying, "That movie's good!" The movie rocked. The crowd was into it. The special effects are better than anything I've seen in a Spider-Man or Pirate movie. ILM should get a special oscar for this one. Can't wait to go back and see it again!

  • July 5, 2007, 9:18 p.m. CST

    Paint drying

    by Dingbatty

    My favorite part was when the Autobots were standing around in Sam's dad's garden for, seemingly, a quarter of the film, peering in the windows. Soooo exciting! Roll out!

  • July 5, 2007, 10:22 p.m. CST

    I've always been a fan

    by chiahead

    And I LOVED this flick. I think I loved it most of all because of Peter Cullen. It was totally all about his voice overs man. Anyway, my two cents.

  • July 6, 2007, 8:30 a.m. CST

    a song for you...

    by longevitymonk

    (sings to the tune of the Transformers theme...) "Mi-chael Bay! Jacks off in your eyes!"

  • July 6, 2007, 11:41 a.m. CST

    You "Film" snobs. Bite.

    by Mr_Satan

    You are all nerds and yet you don't like seeing your cartoons and comics brought to life.. AT ALLLLLLLLLL. Nothing ever pleases you. You knuckle dragging, none vagina getting, lack-luster life living, mother basement dwelling troglodites. Get over yourselves. This movie kicks you in the nuts and gives you starbursts after the pain has subsided. This movie did what it was supoosed to do. Introduce Transformers to the public in a whole. To the men and women and children who have no idea who any of these characters are. Also to get those who didn't like the Transformers to come in and say " You know what I was wrong, They kick ass." It did that. I am a G1 fan I own the TF: The Movie. I didn't like Rodimus Prime. I hate that that the toys are made of plastic and aren't die cast metal like the originals. I on the other hand love this movie. It was loud and it had big frikkin' robots blowing stuff up. So as of now one of the best movies of the year, should be garnering more respest from supposed fans. You people aren't fans of anything just bitchers. If your not bitching about something your not happy. Why is that? I haven't read anything you people wrote in a year and I see why now. Your a bunch of ass's. Go watch a weird sub titled foreign film. That makes less since then the popularity of Paris Hilton. Go see none "kids" films of you can't stand whats happening to your precious characters. I for one will see this movie again. TIll All ARE ONE!!!

  • July 6, 2007, 8:48 p.m. CST

    Mr AnimalStructure

    by Mr_Satan

    I am not going to be called a moron by a goon who lives with his mother. Punisher with Lundgren yes it bit so did The Masters of The Universe and Elektra and Daredevil and Fantastic Four. But guess what I still don't care. The movies were made someone tried to do the characters even though they didn't get the characters. Still someone tried to do it. They unlike others don't just flap there gums about something they think would be awesome they "tried" to make it. You sir are an ass. You think I care one bit about how bad it was. If it weren't for those people at least trying to make these films we would be stuck with noone movies good or bad. You can bash all you want but thats all you can do. And you should go back through and look at the first and second season of the G1 Transformers and see that it wasn't as amazing as we all remember. The plot with the Decepticons coming to Earth for Energon and transforming oil into energon cubes is ridiculous. But you think that is gold. Your just a closet Go-Bots fan and you just want to see Leader-1 attack Optimus Prime for being cooler then him in all his many different forms. I for one enjoyed the movie because my Transformers are out there for the public to love. As I stated before, if my wife likes something thing the public in general likes it. She is my barrometer to whether or not I'm being to geeky over things. Your mom doesn't help you like that. I'm sorry for your plight but once you use some acne medication go on a diet and get a new wig for your bald spot maybe you'll meet a nice girl and she can tell you it's not as bad as your geekness thinks it is. And by the way the word is shit. If you feel everything needs to stay G1 then you must wonder how are they going to turn a 50' tall Megatron into a 3 foot pistol, or the same could be said of a non-existant Soundwave. Do you even think of anything other then how cool something would be. The animators and artist worked overtime working on how something would look functionally even though I think Megatron looked horrible. It wourked next movie and thank god for all us morons out here there will be one. You will see something bigger and louder and better than this. I'm gone till I can burn you next time. Till All Are ONE!!!!!

  • July 7, 2007, 12:13 a.m. CST

    There you go again

    by Mr_Satan

    Quite interesting you are. My wife is quite real and she's lovely. I never said it sucked I just said it wasn't the way you remeber it. Same for Thundercats or GI Joe. Anyway. Focusing on the humans to much I'll give you that but it's a start. And unlike you most regular non-geeks don't like to focus on the robots or aliens. Look at what you consider a good movie. EH hmm lets say Alien. It focused on the humans. Hm another "good" movie Terminator also focused on humans, same for Predator, Enemy Mine the fifth element even Star Wars focused on humans. Look Animal, I'm many things a jerk, short, hen pecked, and often angry for said reasons. But I do know one thing you can't take out the human element with every day people. People need to identify with something or they tend not to feel anything for the characters. So stop your whining about all the humans and enjoy giant fucking robots blowing shit up. Maybe next time they have more interactions between the decepticons and autbots and less human interest for your liking. By the way they are working on a Alien VS Predator 2. I'm sure it will have humans in it too.So just stay away from it. Oh yeah there is a little movie called Star Wars, stay away from that the main characters human and so are most of the other characters.Fucking people ruin everything.

  • July 7, 2007, 4:25 a.m. CST

    Moriaty >>>>objective than other reviewers

    by P2Rock

    I think his review is about right. I am, was probably still am a Bay hater. There is something arrogant about the style he makes movies and conducts himself. But, I enjoyed the shit out of transformers (despite flames on optimus) and think that this was an honest fun kickass movie. This film was far from perfect and one wonders what might have been without some of the awkward unnescessary slapstick comedy and a sharper script. Also all the annoying Bayisms were present with the disorienting moving camera and other cliches. But I think he stayed true as much as possible to the characters and did not massively deviate from the source material and in doing so kept the elements that made transformers what it was. On my first viewing I couldnt help but notice the flaws and somewhat spoiled my experience. But on the second and third viewing I found myslef just enjoying thefilm and anticipating the highlights of the films, essentially the Robots. Good bless Peter Cullen and his Wonderful voice. I dont care if you dont like this film or micheal Bay, there is some stuff in this movie that iss simply on precedented in term of effects and action. It is worth watching purely fro the transformations themselves. Also I have to agree with mori regarding the OG transformers movie. I watched it last week for nostalgic preparation for the Bay film and on viewing realised the film was not that great at all. I think it was it was anaside from the real G1 storyline which was drew everyone to the franchise in the first place. Bay respected the source material and tried to stay faithful to it , as opposed to the outdated crap singer pulled off with SR last year where he thought he knew better than comic writers. So Mr Bay thanks for Optimus and peter cullen and thank you for taking the material seriously. Please take on as much constructive criticism as you can and get a really good script for a sequel. Granted I dont think you can get away with script that shitty again for a sequel as characters (robots) need to be developed as well as a strong mythology. This was easily the most entertaining movie for me in the last two years. I am glad I did not see Harry's transformers, focusing around Lebouf cause that wouylda really pissed me off. This is about the robots. Well I really woulda liked to have reviewwed this, but I feel that this has got a bum wrap, especially from harry who digs a lot of crappy movies like FF and alsorts of bullshit. His commments were fair but simply noty consistent with other reviews. Fact is this moviue was entertaining and was visual spectacle that surpasses anything done in the last couple of years and for that this movie has earned its money and given me hope that an even better movie can be made.

  • July 8, 2007, 3:46 p.m. CST

    Michael Bay cannot Direct!

    by TheDudeinLA must have lost your mind. This was easily one of the worst directed films in history. I walked out of the theater mad. Can Bay just slow the fucking camera down? Tell a freaking story? And I'm not talking about dialog. He can't tell a visual story. James Cameron would eat him alive. I couldn't tell one robot from the other...they all were a blur. It was hand held Hell! Please let me see the freaking robots go at it! I could rant and rant...why bother the movie has made a shit everyone duck and get ready to have more hack shit dumped on you! Thanks for living up to your name Moriarty!

  • July 10, 2007, 10:59 a.m. CST

    Unashamed child of the 80s and Transformers lover here

    by Movietool

    And I loved this flick. I loved the cartoons, I own them on DVD as well as the movie. I watch them every once in a while for nostalgic purposes. I grin the whole time - but I also recognice that they both sucked. The '86 movie is a total disaster, having no plot beyond "introduce new transformers so we can sell some toys." Bay's movie was absolutely what I wanted out of a Transformers movie: 2+ hours of giant robots beating the piss out of each other. Shia Labeouf: awesome. Robot design: awesome. Megatron belittling Starscream: awesome. Peter Cullen's voice work: awesome. Including the all-spark: awesome. Setting part of the movie at a Dam: awesome. Optimus telling Megatron that freedom is the right of all sentient beings: awesome. The finale: awesome. Some of you are mad about how ravage was played for laughs? Are you serious? The original Ravage was a tape cassete that turned into a panther. Am I supposed to get mad because they didn't treat that source material seriously? I understand how some people hate the "shaky cam" action that Bay uses - but for myself, I thought the action was great and some of the most believable special effects ever. ILM wins the oscar hands down this year. I believed these robots were there, in the real world. I believed that the people underneath them would be pulp if they got stepped on. I could feel the weight of these robots as they pushed and pulled each other around in battle, throwing each other into buildings. Cripes, they even made lines like "one shall stand and one shall fall" actually sound believable. They even included some actual Transformers mythos, like the all-spark, for God's sake. I'm sorry if you wanted a more faithful adaptation, but if you're all that dissapointed I suggest you go back and watch the original cartoons. I found the movie MORE respectfull of the source material than I was expecting. A great effort. Bring on the Bay-directed sequel.

  • July 11, 2007, 12:22 p.m. CST

    Transformers while fun had

    by jonnynyc

    Transformers while fun had so many racial stereotypes I felt like I was watching ‘Birth of a Nation’.

  • July 12, 2007, 8:16 a.m. CST

    T2 meet T3 meet Aliens meet MIB meet Armageddon

    by stamper

    meet Pearl Harbor. It's a watchable movie, but only once. As Harry says, all the characters arcs are forced. The stealing from other movies border on cannibalim (I mean, one is programmed to destroy the young boy, the other is programmed to protect ! sounds familiar ?) It's the monster child of Bay / Spielberg, a laboratory baby with eight arms. My god, if people like this movie, the world is really a bad place to be.

  • July 21, 2007, 10:42 a.m. CST

    Mori, it wasn't better than Jurassic Park

    by darthflagg

    Don't know what you were smoking to make you think that. There was more awe in one glimpse of the T-Rex than in the whole of Transformers. It was pretty good for a Michael Bay film, though.