Cool News
Weekly Recap of the events that were...
Hey folks, Harry here. As usual the 'post-Oscar Hollywood Doldrums' have struck the big publications... This was evident in their inclusion of two stories about me.... otherwise known as scraping the bottom of the barrel. So here's the WEEKLY RECAP which I actually appear in.... Scarrrrry....
TAKEN FROM VARIETY AND HOLLYWOOD REPORTER VIA REUTERS
ELSTON NOTE: I'm just bulleting the recap this week as there was less
movie news than usual (Tinseltown is still high from the Oscars, I
guess), but I expect next week to be back to normal. This recap is not
without it's charm, however...
* James Van Der Beek ("Dawson's Creek") and Dylan McDermott ("The
Practice") will star in TEXAS RANGERS for Dimension Films about a group
of young rangers charged with "cleaning up" the West. The project was
supposed to be the last film directed by Sam Peckinpah.
* New Line will partner with Beacon Communications on the Kevin Costner
pic 13 DAYS.
HARRY NOTE: I have it on very good authority that Francis Ford Copolla is very close to signing on as director of 13 DAYS... If he does... he may very well win an Oscar for this film. It's that good.
* Tom Sizemore joins Woody Harrelson, Antonio Banderas and Lolita
Davidovich in the boxing flick WHATEVER HAPPENED TO HAROLD SMITH? Peter
Hewitt (THE BORROWERS) directs the British comedy.
* New Line picked up the comedy pitch ADAM HENRY by Ben Queen and Seamus
Rane about an aging Secret Service agent who must look after an
eccentric fan of the president during his visit to the city.
* Morgan Freeman will produce/star in THE CONJURE MAN DIES, an
adaptation of the 1932 Rudolph Fisher mystery novel. Kevin Hooks
(PASSENGER 57) is attached to direct. The story is set during the 30s
Harlem Renaissance and centers around an investigation into the murder
of a psychic.
* Nicholas Hynter (THE CRUCIBLE) may direct a ballet drama currently
titled CITY BALLET which follows three hopeful ballarinas and their
fight to succeed in one of the world's greatest ballet companies.
* Richard Kwietniowski (LOVE AND DEATH ON LONG ISLAND) will direct the
gambling thriller NO LIMIT based on the Gary Ross book.
* Adam Rifkin (DETROIT ROCK CITY) will direct the horror/comedy MUNCHIES
about anorexic girls who find a craving for human flesh.
* Bijou Phillips (upcoming BLACK & WHITE), half-sister of Chynna
Phillips, joins the cast of the untitled Cameron Crowe pic. Jason Lee,
Noah Taylor, Fairuza Balk and Anna Paquin are all names being mentioned
for the ensemble.
* Howard Stern man soon star in THE ADVENTURES OF FARTMAN written by
J.F. Lawton (PRETTY WOMAN, "VIP"). Stern would play a would be
journalist whose colon is laced with a nuclear cocktail which turns his
digestive system into "an odorfire Three Mile Island."
* Joan Allen will play Irish journalist Veronica Guerin in THROUGH THE
SKY FALLS about an investigative reporter killed after writing about
Irish mobsters. John Mackenzie (THE LONG GOOD FRIDAY) will direct the
Michael Sheridan script.
* David Levien and Brian Koppelman (ROUDERS) will adapt Mark Helpin's A
SOLDIER OF THE GREAT WAR for Edward Norton who'll coproduce and star for
Miramax.
* Giovanni Ribisi will join Nicolas Cage in GONE IN 60 SECONDS for
producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Dominic Sena.
* James Cameron is off the PLANET OF THE APES remake. Michael Bay is in
discussions to come aboard the project for Fox.
* Tom Cruise will finish MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE in time to start MINORITY
REPORT in July. Spielberg will then follow MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA (both
films to entirely film in L.A.).
* Eric Fleming will direct the comedy WIDE AWAKE about two high school
geeks who try to meet girls by forming a rock band.
* Rob Zombie is in talks to write/direct THE LEGEND OF THE 13 GRAVES, a
horror film for New Line and Madguy Films.
* Tim Robbins may join Gary Sinise and Don Cheadle in MISSION TO MARS.
HARRY NOTE: Mission To Mars is being directed by Brian DePalma, couldn't let that go without comment.
* Paramount Pictures is picking up MACE AND MARDI for Jodie Foster and
Mel Gibson to produce and possibly star about a neurotic married couple
who work as bounty hunters.
* Jim Carrey may star in ME, MYSELF AND IRENE which the Farrelly
brothers will direct from a script they co-wrote with Mike Cerrone.
Carrey would play a state trooper with a split personality. His
competing personalities fall and fight for the same woman when he
doesn't take his medicine.
Less activity this week, but still some interesting stuff. Cameron
off APES, Stern still with FARTMAN. *** Giovanni Ribisi is becoming
the busiest man in Hollywood. *** MUNCHIES. The concept cracks me up.
*** Morgan Freeman is attached to CHIEF and now THE CONJURE MAN
DIES...makes me wonder about the status of RENDEVOUS WITH RAMA. ***
PLAY IT TO THE BONE and TEXAS RANGERS. Need more info. *** Jason Lee
might be in a Cameron Crowe pic? Very cool.
Quite a week, folks. Early in the week I was sent an anonymous
scoop about the flick CHERRY FALLS currently shooting in Virginia. The
scoop said the film should receive a hard R due to content (unless its
tames a bit in post production). It centers on some murders of some
high school virgins. Sounds like a pick me up kind of flick.
On Wednesday, I had the pleasure to take in Kevin Smith's
appearance at Virginia Tech this week. He told some gutbusting stories
and interesting tidbits (looks be involved with a MAGE flick, but you
didn't hear that from me) and showed a sweet rough cut of the trailer
for DOGMA. I was not disappointed--neither was the audience based on
their reaction. Some say the film may bring consequences not unlike
PULP FICTION did five years ago--meaning it's fresh and powerful. This
pic is easily one of the top five most anticipated films of the year.
Kevin said the film will be submitted to the Cannes Film Festival within
a week or two. Look out.
Finally, the Hollywood Reporter mentioned one Harry Knowles has
agreed to play himself in the road-trip comedy FANBOYS written by Ernie
Cline. The story follows a group of fans from Ohio who plan to break
into George Lucas' Skywalker Ranch hoping to see a rough cut of PHANTOM
MENACE. Anything you want to add Harry?
HARRY NOTE: First off, I can't believe the Hollywood Reporter is just now getting around to printing that casting tidbit... I mean.. gosh, I was talking about that back in November of 1998. The latest on FANBOYS is this... Since the initial postings about the film on the site, some investors have begun talks with Ernie and his producers. It looks like things will progress till the movie can be shot with real live Panavision cameras! No further details right now, but there will be more... as soon as I hear from Ernie Cline! Yes, I do play myself (hey... not like that... well... not on camera anyways)
'Til next week...
Elston Gunn (elstongunn@hotmail.com)
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Woo-hoo! I can't wait for MISSION TO MARS! Brian De Palma is the greatest director working today in my book. This one sounds like a cool pic, what with Don Cheadle, Gary Sinise, and (hopefully) Tim Robbins. I'm there opening day!
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Why is Howard going to do Fartman? I have seen Private Parts, and remember the beginning when Howard is embarrased after Fartman first appears at the MTV Music Awards. This film will disappear after the second week, after Stern's fans see it. I enjoyed Howard Stern's performance in Private Parts. Yes, he played himself, but he was great on screen. I even remember Eddie Murphy and the director of Private Parts(I forget her name) wanted Howard to take a big role in Dr Dolittle, after his big screen performance. Howard, think twice about doing this film! We know you dont need the money.
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I loved Private Parts, and I watch the Howard Stern E! show at least a couple times a week. But this Fartman thing bothers me. I don't know, I just hope that they don't go too heavy on the whole farting thing. That's all. Howard's fart obsession is funny when used conservatively on the show. But a whole 2 hour movie full of farting and fart jokes... well, that just doesn't appeal to me at all.
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If you think you're dreading FARTMAN now, wait until you read the script. It's been available for years at comic conventions, etc. I swear, there's not a SINGLE laugh in it. Not one! This is one of the few projects I can imagine saying, "I HOPE an enormous team of anonymous hacks is brought in to 'funny it up' " (as Ernie Bushmiller used to say). Keep in mind I'm a big fan of Howard's and have listened every day for years.
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If you think you're dreading FARTMAN now, wait until you read the script. It's been available for years at comic conventions, etc. I swear, there's not a SINGLE laugh in it. Not one! This is one of the few projects I can imagine saying, "I HOPE an enormous team of anonymous hacks is brought in to 'funny it up' " (as Ernie Bushmiller used to say). Keep in mind I'm a big fan of Howard's and have listened every day for years.
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I'm a little leery of this flick. Howard describes it on his show as Austin Powers-like, a sendup of superhero films. But what really has me worried is that since the success of The Waterboy, Howard thinks there is a huge market for "dumb" movies. He didn't see Waterboy (neither did I), but he thinks that people will fall over themselves to see this one. If he makes it as dumb as possible, as he thinks Waterboy was, I'm afraid this could be a misstep in his otherwise remarkable career.
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I listen every morning to the stern show & really enjoyed Private Parts, too...but even if the movie has more substance to it like he claims, it's still just too juvenile a movie concept for me. I'd rather see a continuation of where "Parts" left off then this...hell, even an adaptation of "Gaytanic"!
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I saw the trailer myself at Kevin Smith's recent grand opening of Jay & Bob Silent Stash down in Red Bank, NJ. I'm looking forward to it. There was also mention of a rerelease of Clerks this year. I guess people take 5 year anniversaries seriously.
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Howard is used to hearing critics pan anything he does and that's why he is ignoring us on this one. The problem is that the fans are not with him on this one but he only thinks it's the same old critics. His butt kissing employees would never tell him it's a bad idea. I have not met one person who is interested in seeing this film. If you think everything Howard does is genius, rent "Butt Bongo Fiesta" sometime. There was not one laugh in that thing. Sure there were naked women, but that's it. When Howard does dumb comedy it's bad, really bad. Dave Letterman was the reigning King of Late Night until he did the Oscars, then in one night, he lost his audience. This will be the downfall of Howard, his critics will never let up again after they smell blood and it will be the beginning of the end. Hopefully Howard will listen to us and try smarter instead of dumber.
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First off, what makes you think a script you read years ago is the same script Howard's using?!
Second, If you have been a fan like I have, for over 15 years! you are dying to see a Fartman movie! Fartman was funny on the radio, he was histerical on the channel 9 show with the Superhero School, & he'll be fucking hilarious on the big screen!
You'll all eat your words, & smell his gas. -
What is the story with this project? No movement for absolutely ages, while Freeman and David Fincher do other projects. I can't understand it. Rama is perhaps the ultimate sci-fi novel to make into a movie - straightforward storyline, real 2001 feeling, potential for out of this world special effects, great roles. More than anything, I'm hoping for movement on this one soon. There's a massive audience for sci-fi, and Rama (the novel) is hugely popular. There's simply no reason why they shouldn't phone this one in. Fincher is definitely the perfect director, Morgan Freeman would be good in the main role (though personally Robert Duvall would be my ideal) and special effects are at a point now where the massive backdrop for the story could be realised. Anybody know anything about this project? Is it totally dead, or is it still in the offing. This is one geek who needs to know!
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First, I think Fatman will be worth the price of admission. Granted, it sounds crazy now, but I think everyone is basing their opinions on the title of the film and what they THINK the movie will be about. Let's wait until we get more information before hating it, right? These days, practically everything Stern touches these days turns into gold. He has turned down several movie offers because he is waiting for the right role. He's not stupid. Of course, he could make a fatal mistake..... As for DOGMA, I too saw the trailer in Red Bank, and man, it is sweet! This will get your heart pumping almost as much as the Phantom Menace trailers... Let's hope Miramax doesn't drop the ball on this one..
Oh yeah, and Letterman is still the king of late night television, damnit! -
Well, there is another remake poised and primed to be ruined by incompetence. I don't want to be overly critical of Bay, but he's made it difficult for me to give him the benefit of the doubt (who is this writer working on it now? I read it in Variety or HR but I didn't recognize the name). I wish Stone had made it himself way back when, it would have been great to see a smart, politically charged, character driven, sci-fi film again. I guess I'll have to settle for Bay's bombastic, overblown set pieces, and bad CGI monkeys. Let's hope Stan Winston is still involved at least.
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To all you naysayers, I shall PASS GAS in your FACE. Farting is, has been, and always will be FUNNY. Doing it in a public place when all is silent and people don't expect it is the best. Everyone's just minding their own business and then PBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBT!!! Pheeeweee!! You gotta love it! I also enjoy lighting my farts - If you really push one out it's like a blow torch. Which leads me to some speculataion - if you theoretically farted hard enough and lit it, could you perhaps lift off the ground a little? I mean, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, so I think a hard enough fart could blast you into the upper layers of the atmosphere. Ha!!! I think I should be the scriptwriter for Fartman. As you can tell, I am desperately looking forward to this flick - it may be immature, but hey it's FUNNY.
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Opening Scene - Howard Stern, in his Fartsuit, proclaims, "I am Fartman!" Bends over, and someone secretly puts a cork in his butt. Howard strains, begins to expand, whimpers a feeble "...no...", continues to expand, then EXPLODES in gore, blood, and green noxious gas. End credits, and the audience streams to the street in celebration and joy. I can hang with that.
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Attention Ernie Cline: If you haven't become a Hollywood sellout yet and forgotten about where you came from, please send an e-mail to your old friend Marc Edward Heuck. He wants to tell you how happy he is for you. Click on my handle and I'll help you find him. He's not in Columbus anymore.
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NEVER underestimate Howard Stern! This will be a very good movie!
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