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Tuesday Brings The First Post-Marty Edition Of ON THE LOT!!
I am – Hercules!!
Handsome Kenny Luby – who directed the laughing cabbie short and the drunken snow-walker music video – competes another day.
He owes his unlikely survival perhaps to Marty Martin, who may have earned the wrath of voting film geeks everywhere by calling Carrie Fisher rude in front of a national audience.
How I ranked last week’s weak crop of entries:
1) “Sunshine Girl,” from frozen-coathanger boy Zach Lipovsky, depicts a youngster who plucks the sun from the sky, only to lose it under her bed. Strong visuals helped obscure the fact that the short didn’t have much of an idea at its core.
2) “Lucky Penny” mastermind Will Bigham’s dialogue-free “Glass Eye,” about a dog that eats and excretes a magic minicam, was bland but not unwatchable.
3) Mateen Kemet’s “Lost,” about the newly-successful filmmaker who learns - just before proposing - that the girlfriend is already married, was, to put it kindly, unambitious and way fuzzy about what it was trying to say.
4) “Blood Born,” from Jesus-loving “Getta Rhoom” auteur Jason Epperson, manages to take a sci-fi premise loaded with potential - a guy discovers his blood can cure cancer – and do next to nothing with it.
5) Jessica Brilliant’s “The Orchard,” the one about the a guy in the plaid shirt who cuts some branches off a tree, demonstrates again that the best-looking “On The Lost” contestants are the least qualified to be there.
As none of the filmmakers sassed the judges last week (and votefortheworst.com is championing Luby), I gather Brilliant will soon be available to apply to new, more welcoming reality shows.
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Hey, you'd be in a bad mood as well if you looked like her nowadays. Her appearance on Smallville? Frightening.
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But rude ? Not really.
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the Paula Abdul of On The Lot
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The only thing of interest on this show was that comment.
And Carrie Fisher is not rude... -
She has way more talent than any of the contestants on the show. None of them can write a decent story.
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Do they have a banner ad on here or something?
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I kind of... stopped watching awhile ago.
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because she was criticizing his short and he was being arrogant with her, then she said something like "well obviously you're your biggest fan" or something like that.
To me, I have yet to see anything that was particularly interesting, but somehow still find myself watching..
Actually I think Fisher is more like the Simon Cowell of the show. She has no problem telling someone that their short is a piece of shit.
Marshall is a little more diplomatic, and the guest director/judges seem to be the wishy washy bitches. -
Any news on who shows movies this week?
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...that's why it always gets a talkback. Sad innit? Of course the fact that Herc rarely contributes to these talkbacks, and the glaring reality that pretty much no one else gives even half a rat's fuck about the show apparently matters little.
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and no big love talkback? What the fuck is going on around here. Last night's big love was a GAME CHANGER.... C'mon herc, get your fucking act together. If you are gonna have talkbacks for tv shows over the summer, the ones that are mandatory should be JfC, Big Love, Entourage, etc. Not this reality tv shitfest with double z list celebrities playing simon cowell, who maxxes out at a c list celebrity himself.
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His films have been unwatchable!
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whenever fisher tells it like it is and she's subsequently booed. what she said to the tree-chopping nyu girl was harsh, but spot on, IMO. The fact that we have to still endure both her and wacky-cabbie for another week is horrible!
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votefortheworst.com. And I think I'll skip the rest of this series. I gave it a shot.
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didn't Fisher say that to tree-girl? That was pretty hilarious.
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If you're expressing your thoughts, it's obviously your opinion. Is this some way to avoid responsibility or ownership? Have an opinion, but say "it's only mine"?? Does it negate what's being said?
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They're going to be showing films these guys shot while "On the Lot." I have a feeling these shorts in general will be much better.
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But no ENTOURAGE? No JOHN FROM CINCINNATI? (Which sucks, but I want a place to debate and discuss its awfulness). What the fuck?
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Man, can she just say a sentence from start to finish without heming and hawing and stuttering and just plain acting like she's got Parkinson's? I wish she'd died young so that when I watch StarWars I am not reminded of what she became. A crappy judge who writes crappy copy. Hello her Oscar writer stint sucked.
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He just made the one single mistake you don't make with judges: he got defensive.
With the way Carrie has been completely humiliating contestants it's not hard to see why the defensive one's are pissed at her.
But fuck it all. This is by far the worst produced show ever. It took how many weeks for them to realise that nobody could hear the host at the begining and give her a microphone?! Amatuer hour is coming from the producers. -
and it's not a good look on reality TV. However his shorts looked the most professionaly filmed (along with the Sunshine Girl guy). Give the guy a script and he'd probably do a good job. Many working directors never write their own material.
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Sunshine Girl was probably the best of the lot. Not much of a story and the adult actors were terrible, but good visuals and a cute kid made it enjoyable.Glass Eye was also quite good. Seeing things from the eye's POV was well done. Too bad it was predictable. Is there anyone who didn't see where the eye would end up?Lost was ok, a decent releationship film, kind of hard to do in 3 minutes. It shows promise, but I think the director might find more work as a writer than a director. Watching I thought maybe what we were seeing was an entire relationship (meet, fall in love, fight, break up) take place over one meal. But it seemed to be more like 3 minutes of a much larger story, or the end of one.I liked Blood Born, sort of. The visual style was way too distracting. I believe it was Wes Craven who said he had the impression the main character was stoned, but didn't think that was the director's intention. I agree. Also, I think maybe the story was a bit too ambitious for 3 minutes. But it did get a "gasp" from the audience at the end, which means they were somewhat invested in it.The Orchard sucked, and sucked hard. Kenny's piece of crap pseudo student film was bad, but at least in it something was going on. Nothing happened in The Orchard. This woman is not a good director. She should have been gone after her last film, the one where all the people were trying to change the lightbulb. It sucked too. She had one set, and only 3 or 4 camera setups. Just because your time is limited doesn't mean you have to limit your creativity. She needs to go. Everything she has done so far has been flat and unimaginative.Hopefully the hostess will be wearing a more flattering outfit this week. And by more flattering I mean more cleavage.
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All of his stuff looked like a Tony Scott rip off. Compare his stuff with Domino and Man on fire. His attitude sucked but I don't blame him with the judges he had to deal with. lates
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Blood Born was absolutely terrible. Sure the Orchard was bad, but at least it wasn't preachy. And he set the thing up by explaining his faith and how in love with God he is ... which always annoys me. Oh man, this guy needs to be voted off immediately. Sadly I have a hunch that he's the one that is going to win (based on his faith and where he's from).
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At least his stuff didn't look like an SNL digital short (as opposed to some of these shorts). I find nothing wrong with ripoffs as long as you do it well. The story wasn't compelling, so maybe he's not a writer. Tony, Ridley, and countless others never wrote their own scripts either.
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You're all fairies.
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If you don't write your own stuff and the visual is all you bring to your short but you rip that off, then you kinda suck. God, what a run on sentence. haha. Anyways, this show would have been pulled weeks ago if it weren't for the people like Spielbergo, attached to it. lates.
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I've been enjoying this show so far (sure, the host sucks, some of the judging is questionable, and many of the movies are quite poor, but I still find myself nicely entertained for the hour... plus critiquing the movies is good fun) and since they split the remaining fifteen people into three groups of five, I've been eagerly anticipating Zach's (aka Frozen Coathanger Guy) next movie. So I was excited for last week's episode since Zach was returning to the spotlight. Then he screened his movie titled "Sunshine Girl" (hate the title, since it's so damn similar to "Little Miss Sunshine") and it totally blew. I couldn't believe it. Especially since he was talking about how this movie was going to show Spielberg that he could really tell a story and that he was worthy of working with him. All I got from the movie was the notion that Zach could take a mildly intriguing idea and suck whatever creative life it had right out of it. There were only three actors in the movie and really only one that had to do anything at all and yet the acting still managed to feel forced and unconvincing. Directing kids is tough, but if you can't pull it off and find the right kid, don't force it. Unfortunately, Zach decided to go with a young girl as his lead and, as a result, his protagonist was entirely forgettable. The voice-over work by the parents, though, made the little girl look like a seasoned pro. As for the story, while it was a potentially intriguing idea, the whole thing felt rushed, skimmed over. I know it's just a short movie, but in that case, it is imperative that the storyteller choose a story that can fit within the confines of a few minutes. That said, I don't think "Sunshine Girl" could have been stretched much longer, since there really wasn't much there. Basically, there was a girl who didn't like reaching under her bed and was supposedly afraid of the dark (though I only know that because Zach said it prior to the movie rolling) and then she one day put her hands outside and stole the sun. Instead of, you know, freaking out, she calmly sat there and seemed pretty content. Then she dropped the sun-ball under her bed. Oops! She then walked out of her bedroom and, within that ten-second time-span, all fucking hell has broken loose. The TV is on and the news reporter seems to think the world is coming to an end. Oh what is a little sunshine-stealing girl to do? Well, naturally, she walks back into her room and calmly retrieves the sun-ball from under her bed. She puts the sun back and all is well in the world. Well, except for everything that just happened is kinda retarded and so hurried that it comes across as more laughable than awe-inspiring. In the end, I never really felt that the girl had anything more than a mild aversion to sticking her hand under her bed, so when the climactic moment came when she had to overcome her fear and retrieve the sun, I never really felt like it was that big of a deal. Ultimately, I didn't believe any of what was going on and that's the main reason it didn't work for me.
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Did you see he was wearing a "Ghetta Room" shirt the following week? Ridiculous. Carrie Fisher just meanders in her comments, and Garry Marshall just makkes some joke, or makes some nonsequitor. The guest judge is the only real one to listen to, nevertheless, I enjoy the show, and wish I was competing, as I don't see that much talent in these videos. Although, next year I'm sure it'll be much harder to get into the competition, if the show even returns.
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have them all directing the same script. So many of these shorts suffer from these guys just being terrible writers. If the contest truly is about directing, then put that ability up to bat, as opposed to the whole gamut of skills involved with filmmaking.
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It's just influence. Without artists copying each other styles we wouldn't have had the Renaissance. Art styles are not sacred. I'm not even a big fan of the nu-Tony Scott style, but it did influence Wayne Kramer on Running Scared (a movie that made better use of his style IMO) Although Marty does need to take that title VISONARY off his website though. lol C'mon bro: some HUMILITY is a good thing. Yes, even in Hollywood.
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in the first 2 to 3 episodes, where they were more behind the scenes of the film making process and watching these up and comers at each others throats to work together, but also compete against each other in the same time. Then the show turned into a stoopid Idol Results show EACH WEEK. Gone were the clever and insightful look of the production process behind the scenes and we were welcomed with the attractive, but dumb as nails host. Who intros the movies.
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Martin was ripping off Tony Scott films directly, he took the look,etc...and even the subtitles! Therefore Martin had no style of his own, just one that he enjoyed watching. If he had copied that style, he would have taken that Tony Scott template and made it his own, adding and taking away from it. I mean, Quentin Tarantino copies, he steals, but he takes those stories or elements that he steals and adds and takes away from it. Marty Martin was one of the worst on the show, if he was his own D.P., then I'd definitely say he could work as one, as a editor? He could get work cutting trailers. As a director? The closest he'd get is managing a Blockbuster. Don't get me started at Luby.
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Was from In Living Color, years ago.
Still pretty funny, though. Lynne Shaye rules. -
But that show did feature a similar segment.
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This was his best film so far.
The rest were pretty unfunny. Cavemen hopping around a Mustang? What was the point of that? -
That's what it seemed like to me. The brain one was sick and twisted and deserves points for that. The baby-making one was dull and I don't think I heard so much as a chuckle from the audience. Sperm bank could have used a better ending but it was, for the most part, well shot. The Dr In Law was funny but could also have used a stronger ending. Was also well shot and well acted. Die Hardly Working was great. Great shots, great overacting by the characters. Hit the right level between deadly serious and goofing around. And nice to see that the special effects kid used audio effects this time instead of visual ones. Easily the best of the bunch.
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No i'm not kidding. he'll be judging the horror movies. i can't wait.
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http://tinyurl.com/3bx9vk
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This one sucked me in and is semi-watchable.
Hostess is hot, but makes me cringe when she speaks. When she tries to be clever... her timing is off or something. I'm waiting for Luby or someone to cop a feel next time she paws all over him/her during the feedback portion of the show (ghetta room!).
I wished the guest judge would've reached over and slapped Carrie Fisher just like the exposed brain dude did at the end of the "humble pie look on his face" director's film. The woman is painfully inarticulate for a screenwriter. Maybe someone could write a "how to give constructive feedback" script for her to read, which would cut the show down to 1/2 hour.
Garry tees up some decent, funny one-liners usually. I like how he's turning into a dirty, perverted old man on the show by commenting on the host's outfit (or lack therof) and hitting on some blonde sitting behind him who's probably young enough to be his granddaughter.
I liked the first film by the Indian looking gal. The reaction shots were good. Lots of funny foreign language dialogue.
The last film by "frozen coathanger" guy (whoever coined this term deserves a beer) was clever and funny. His audio sound effects were good and he had decent actors (last shot was a bit weak, though). I suppose his next film will be completely absent fx and dialogue to prove that he can direct "novice films".
I thought I saw a thin line of drool coming out of his frozen rictus during the judges' feedback (maybe the hostess had her hand on his ass or something and he was just frozen with joy).
Peace out. -
In that bad short film. I got into one lil' fight and my mom got scared n' said,"You're moving with you're auntie and uncle in Bel-Air!"
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Another week and another way of casting off the loser. Is this the fourth way of telling somebody to pack their bags? First it was a full hour long snoozefest where they got rid of three people. Then they made them wait until the end of the show. The next week they told them right at the beginning. And now the loser doesn't even get kicked off in front of an audience. I'm afraid what they'll do next week ... they'll probably not say a word about the cast away and act like he/she didn't exist.
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Since this was the first week where they gave each director significant resources for a film made between one show and the other, they probably had to tell them at the beginning of the week instead of at the results show. Otherwise, they'd have to fund a short every week that had no shot of every being on the air.
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You watch On the Lot, and then discuss it on AICN. Where's our fucking hbo show talkbacks? Big love? Entourage? JfC? But we get tb's for this reality show bullshit?
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Yeah I got nothing else on this show /shrug.
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I mean, the fake shooting and all. He did a good execution though in a funny setting. The only using original camera angles. The other movies where, imho, not funny at all. I realy loath Shalini's smiling. Irritating as hell. Now give us a Big Love talkback!
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I thought Die Hardly was pretty severely ripped off from this banned Xbox 360 commercial ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNuRQmvykwk ).
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Remove the spaces from the link above, or search youtube for "banned xbox 360 ad".
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Zach's film was similar in concept to a short story by Bentley Little. But in Little's story the office employees divide into warring factions and attack and kill each other for real using office supplies. It's caustically funny, whereas Zach's film was terminally cute, which is the guy's fatal flaw. That and treacly sentimentality.
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I meant to write "kill each other BY using office supplies," goddamit.
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I'm a HUGE short Horror story fan. I remember that Bentley Little story. I initially had the same reaction ;-)
Little's story was fantastic. -
You keep posting on it! Don't post here if you don't support a talkback for it...easy innit.
I hate this show but keep watching it and posting about it...weird innit. -
Jun 27, 2007 5:31:04 PM CDT
Yeah we have seen zach's concept quite a few times...
by talkbacker with no name
..before. But he did it well. Maybe not as well as 'spaced' but still pretty good. I get the feeling he hasn't seen the spaced one, so fair dues to him for coming up with it...if he did see it then damn him to hell!
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i realized that this show isn't getting any better. if i wanted to watch shitty short films i'd sit in on a film school tech class. took it off the dvr list. done and done.
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you don't really want to look but you can't seem to turn away. That being said. I watch it every week.
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It's Brillhart, not Brilliant. Jebus!
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