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Tuesday Brings The First Post-Marty Edition Of ON THE LOT!!

Published at:  Jun 26, 2007 2:35:34 AM CDT

I am – Hercules!!


Handsome Kenny Luby – who directed the laughing cabbie short and the drunken snow-walker music video – competes another day.

He owes his unlikely survival perhaps to Marty Martin, who may have earned the wrath of voting film geeks everywhere by calling Carrie Fisher rude in front of a national audience.

How I ranked last week’s weak crop of entries:

1) “Sunshine Girl,” from frozen-coathanger boy Zach Lipovsky, depicts a youngster who plucks the sun from the sky, only to lose it under her bed. Strong visuals helped obscure the fact that the short didn’t have much of an idea at its core.

2) “Lucky Penny” mastermind Will Bigham’s dialogue-free “Glass Eye,” about a dog that eats and excretes a magic minicam, was bland but not unwatchable.

3) Mateen Kemet’s “Lost,” about the newly-successful filmmaker who learns - just before proposing - that the girlfriend is already married, was, to put it kindly, unambitious and way fuzzy about what it was trying to say.

4) “Blood Born,” from Jesus-loving “Getta Rhoom” auteur Jason Epperson, manages to take a sci-fi premise loaded with potential - a guy discovers his blood can cure cancer – and do next to nothing with it.

5) Jessica Brilliant’s “The Orchard,” the one about the a guy in the plaid shirt who cuts some branches off a tree, demonstrates again that the best-looking “On The Lost” contestants are the least qualified to be there.

As none of the filmmakers sassed the judges last week (and votefortheworst.com is championing Luby), I gather Brilliant will soon be available to apply to new, more welcoming reality shows.











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    Readers Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 1:22:36 AM CDT

    "calling Carrie Fisher rude "

    by shermdawg

    Hey, you'd be in a bad mood as well if you looked like her nowadays. Her appearance on Smallville? Frightening.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 1:28:12 AM CDT

    She's a talentless hack and waste of space.

    by bioforge

    But rude ? Not really.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 1:55:03 AM CDT

    Carrie Fisher .....

    by otto maddox

    the Paula Abdul of On The Lot

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 2:04:41 AM CDT

    Carrie Fisher, what else?

    by oceanlizard

    The only thing of interest on this show was that comment.

    And Carrie Fisher is not rude...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 2:12:05 AM CDT

    What's with the Fisher hate?

    by zorak5

    She has way more talent than any of the contestants on the show. None of them can write a decent story.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 2:16:56 AM CDT

    Who In Pete's Name Is Still Watching This

    by topaz4206

    Do they have a banner ad on here or something?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 2:17:29 AM CDT

    Why did he call her rude?

    by silentp

    I kind of... stopped watching awhile ago.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 3:25:44 AM CDT

    he called her rude

    by volstaff

    because she was criticizing his short and he was being arrogant with her, then she said something like "well obviously you're your biggest fan" or something like that.
    To me, I have yet to see anything that was particularly interesting, but somehow still find myself watching..
    Actually I think Fisher is more like the Simon Cowell of the show. She has no problem telling someone that their short is a piece of shit.
    Marshall is a little more diplomatic, and the guest director/judges seem to be the wishy washy bitches.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 4:24:59 AM CDT

    Yeah the girl who went to film school is gone

    by z 008

    Any news on who shows movies this week?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 6:24:36 AM CDT

    Because this is the kind of shit Herc watches...

    by sledge hammer

    ...that's why it always gets a talkback. Sad innit? Of course the fact that Herc rarely contributes to these talkbacks, and the glaring reality that pretty much no one else gives even half a rat's fuck about the show apparently matters little.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 8:21:52 AM CDT

    On the Lot

    by chest_rockwell

    and no big love talkback? What the fuck is going on around here. Last night's big love was a GAME CHANGER.... C'mon herc, get your fucking act together. If you are gonna have talkbacks for tv shows over the summer, the ones that are mandatory should be JfC, Big Love, Entourage, etc. Not this reality tv shitfest with double z list celebrities playing simon cowell, who maxxes out at a c list celebrity himself.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 8:44:08 AM CDT

    Luby has to go!

    by silver screen surfer

    His films have been unwatchable!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 9:04:13 AM CDT

    the audience is rude --

    by vadersabre

    whenever fisher tells it like it is and she's subsequently booed. what she said to the tree-chopping nyu girl was harsh, but spot on, IMO. The fact that we have to still endure both her and wacky-cabbie for another week is horrible!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 9:27:54 AM CDT

    Kenny is being helped by

    by jimmy_009

    votefortheworst.com. And I think I'll skip the rest of this series. I gave it a shot.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 10:14:09 AM CDT

    "my least favorite thing since puberty"

    by shigeru

    didn't Fisher say that to tree-girl? That was pretty hilarious.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 10:18:53 AM CDT

    Why do people type "IMO"?

    by mister man

    If you're expressing your thoughts, it's obviously your opinion. Is this some way to avoid responsibility or ownership? Have an opinion, but say "it's only mine"?? Does it negate what's being said?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 10:24:43 AM CDT

    Starting this week...

    by darshn22

    They're going to be showing films these guys shot while "On the Lot." I have a feeling these shorts in general will be much better.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 11:49:45 AM CDT

    We still get a fucking ON THE LOT talkback?

    by imfixingtodie

    But no ENTOURAGE? No JOHN FROM CINCINNATI? (Which sucks, but I want a place to debate and discuss its awfulness). What the fuck?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 11:56:13 AM CDT

    Carrie Fisher is the worst reality TV judge ever.

    by stormwatcher

    Man, can she just say a sentence from start to finish without heming and hawing and stuttering and just plain acting like she's got Parkinson's? I wish she'd died young so that when I watch StarWars I am not reminded of what she became. A crappy judge who writes crappy copy. Hello her Oscar writer stint sucked.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 12:40:23 PM CDT

    Marty

    by antonphd

    He just made the one single mistake you don't make with judges: he got defensive.

    With the way Carrie has been completely humiliating contestants it's not hard to see why the defensive one's are pissed at her.

    But fuck it all. This is by far the worst produced show ever. It took how many weeks for them to realise that nobody could hear the host at the begining and give her a microphone?! Amatuer hour is coming from the producers.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 12:51:25 PM CDT

    Yeah Marty was defensive

    by neo zeed

    and it's not a good look on reality TV. However his shorts looked the most professionaly filmed (along with the Sunshine Girl guy). Give the guy a script and he'd probably do a good job. Many working directors never write their own material.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 12:56:32 PM CDT

    My take on last week's films

    by big jim

    Sunshine Girl was probably the best of the lot. Not much of a story and the adult actors were terrible, but good visuals and a cute kid made it enjoyable.Glass Eye was also quite good. Seeing things from the eye's POV was well done. Too bad it was predictable. Is there anyone who didn't see where the eye would end up?Lost was ok, a decent releationship film, kind of hard to do in 3 minutes. It shows promise, but I think the director might find more work as a writer than a director. Watching I thought maybe what we were seeing was an entire relationship (meet, fall in love, fight, break up) take place over one meal. But it seemed to be more like 3 minutes of a much larger story, or the end of one.I liked Blood Born, sort of. The visual style was way too distracting. I believe it was Wes Craven who said he had the impression the main character was stoned, but didn't think that was the director's intention. I agree. Also, I think maybe the story was a bit too ambitious for 3 minutes. But it did get a "gasp" from the audience at the end, which means they were somewhat invested in it.The Orchard sucked, and sucked hard. Kenny's piece of crap pseudo student film was bad, but at least in it something was going on. Nothing happened in The Orchard. This woman is not a good director. She should have been gone after her last film, the one where all the people were trying to change the lightbulb. It sucked too. She had one set, and only 3 or 4 camera setups. Just because your time is limited doesn't mean you have to limit your creativity. She needs to go. Everything she has done so far has been flat and unimaginative.Hopefully the hostess will be wearing a more flattering outfit this week. And by more flattering I mean more cleavage.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 2:09:31 PM CDT

    Marty wasnt that original.

    by snakecharmer

    All of his stuff looked like a Tony Scott rip off. Compare his stuff with Domino and Man on fire. His attitude sucked but I don't blame him with the judges he had to deal with. lates

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 2:11:00 PM CDT

    Blood Born

    by defunct gamer

    Blood Born was absolutely terrible. Sure the Orchard was bad, but at least it wasn't preachy. And he set the thing up by explaining his faith and how in love with God he is ... which always annoys me. Oh man, this guy needs to be voted off immediately. Sadly I have a hunch that he's the one that is going to win (based on his faith and where he's from).

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 2:23:49 PM CDT

    Marty wasn't original, but he ripped off pretty well

    by neo zeed

    At least his stuff didn't look like an SNL digital short (as opposed to some of these shorts). I find nothing wrong with ripoffs as long as you do it well. The story wasn't compelling, so maybe he's not a writer. Tony, Ridley, and countless others never wrote their own scripts either.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 2:24:18 PM CDT

    IMO

    by schih thayde

    You're all fairies.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 2:29:13 PM CDT

    Ripping off

    by snakecharmer

    If you don't write your own stuff and the visual is all you bring to your short but you rip that off, then you kinda suck. God, what a run on sentence. haha. Anyways, this show would have been pulled weeks ago if it weren't for the people like Spielbergo, attached to it. lates.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 2:49:26 PM CDT

    I was really disappointed by "Sunshine Girl."

    by a goonie

    I've been enjoying this show so far (sure, the host sucks, some of the judging is questionable, and many of the movies are quite poor, but I still find myself nicely entertained for the hour... plus critiquing the movies is good fun) and since they split the remaining fifteen people into three groups of five, I've been eagerly anticipating Zach's (aka Frozen Coathanger Guy) next movie. So I was excited for last week's episode since Zach was returning to the spotlight. Then he screened his movie titled "Sunshine Girl" (hate the title, since it's so damn similar to "Little Miss Sunshine") and it totally blew. I couldn't believe it. Especially since he was talking about how this movie was going to show Spielberg that he could really tell a story and that he was worthy of working with him. All I got from the movie was the notion that Zach could take a mildly intriguing idea and suck whatever creative life it had right out of it. There were only three actors in the movie and really only one that had to do anything at all and yet the acting still managed to feel forced and unconvincing. Directing kids is tough, but if you can't pull it off and find the right kid, don't force it. Unfortunately, Zach decided to go with a young girl as his lead and, as a result, his protagonist was entirely forgettable. The voice-over work by the parents, though, made the little girl look like a seasoned pro. As for the story, while it was a potentially intriguing idea, the whole thing felt rushed, skimmed over. I know it's just a short movie, but in that case, it is imperative that the storyteller choose a story that can fit within the confines of a few minutes. That said, I don't think "Sunshine Girl" could have been stretched much longer, since there really wasn't much there. Basically, there was a girl who didn't like reaching under her bed and was supposedly afraid of the dark (though I only know that because Zach said it prior to the movie rolling) and then she one day put her hands outside and stole the sun. Instead of, you know, freaking out, she calmly sat there and seemed pretty content. Then she dropped the sun-ball under her bed. Oops! She then walked out of her bedroom and, within that ten-second time-span, all fucking hell has broken loose. The TV is on and the news reporter seems to think the world is coming to an end. Oh what is a little sunshine-stealing girl to do? Well, naturally, she walks back into her room and calmly retrieves the sun-ball from under her bed. She puts the sun back and all is well in the world. Well, except for everything that just happened is kinda retarded and so hurried that it comes across as more laughable than awe-inspiring. In the end, I never really felt that the girl had anything more than a mild aversion to sticking her hand under her bed, so when the climactic moment came when she had to overcome her fear and retrieve the sun, I never really felt like it was that big of a deal. Ultimately, I didn't believe any of what was going on and that's the main reason it didn't work for me.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 2:51:51 PM CDT

    That Ghetta Room guy is so awful...

    by danielkurland

    Did you see he was wearing a "Ghetta Room" shirt the following week? Ridiculous. Carrie Fisher just meanders in her comments, and Garry Marshall just makkes some joke, or makes some nonsequitor. The guest judge is the only real one to listen to, nevertheless, I enjoy the show, and wish I was competing, as I don't see that much talent in these videos. Although, next year I'm sure it'll be much harder to get into the competition, if the show even returns.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 2:54:18 PM CDT

    Also, the competition better eventually...

    by danielkurland

    have them all directing the same script. So many of these shorts suffer from these guys just being terrible writers. If the contest truly is about directing, then put that ability up to bat, as opposed to the whole gamut of skills involved with filmmaking.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 3:10:37 PM CDT

    Rip off is a negative term

    by neo zeed

    It's just influence. Without artists copying each other styles we wouldn't have had the Renaissance. Art styles are not sacred. I'm not even a big fan of the nu-Tony Scott style, but it did influence Wayne Kramer on Running Scared (a movie that made better use of his style IMO) Although Marty does need to take that title VISONARY off his website though. lol C'mon bro: some HUMILITY is a good thing. Yes, even in Hollywood.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 4:30:52 PM CDT

    I liekd this show better

    by samblackchvrch21

    in the first 2 to 3 episodes, where they were more behind the scenes of the film making process and watching these up and comers at each others throats to work together, but also compete against each other in the same time. Then the show turned into a stoopid Idol Results show EACH WEEK. Gone were the clever and insightful look of the production process behind the scenes and we were welcomed with the attractive, but dumb as nails host. Who intros the movies.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 7:25:03 PM CDT

    No, Ripoff is probably more accurate

    by thefutureoffilm

    Martin was ripping off Tony Scott films directly, he took the look,etc...and even the subtitles! Therefore Martin had no style of his own, just one that he enjoyed watching. If he had copied that style, he would have taken that Tony Scott template and made it his own, adding and taking away from it. I mean, Quentin Tarantino copies, he steals, but he takes those stories or elements that he steals and adds and takes away from it. Marty Martin was one of the worst on the show, if he was his own D.P., then I'd definitely say he could work as one, as a editor? He could get work cutting trailers. As a director? The closest he'd get is managing a Blockbuster. Don't get me started at Luby.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 7:38:11 PM CDT

    Sperm bank film . . .

    by prozacmorris

    Was from In Living Color, years ago.

    Still pretty funny, though. Lynne Shaye rules.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 7:40:22 PM CDT

    I shouldn't say it was "from In Living Color" . . .

    by prozacmorris

    But that show did feature a similar segment.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 7:59:02 PM CDT

    Zach for the win!

    by browncoatjedi

    This was his best film so far.

    The rest were pretty unfunny. Cavemen hopping around a Mustang? What was the point of that?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 8:20:58 PM CDT

    Cavemen film would make a good car commercial

    by big jim

    That's what it seemed like to me. The brain one was sick and twisted and deserves points for that. The baby-making one was dull and I don't think I heard so much as a chuckle from the audience. Sperm bank could have used a better ending but it was, for the most part, well shot. The Dr In Law was funny but could also have used a stronger ending. Was also well shot and well acted. Die Hardly Working was great. Great shots, great overacting by the characters. Hit the right level between deadly serious and goofing around. And nice to see that the special effects kid used audio effects this time instead of visual ones. Easily the best of the bunch.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 9:23:46 PM CDT

    Eli Roth is the guest judge on next week's episode

    by brucecampbell

    No i'm not kidding. he'll be judging the horror movies. i can't wait.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 10:42:45 PM CDT

    This is a better version of Zach's film

    by hrivnak

    http://tinyurl.com/3bx9vk

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 10:47:44 PM CDT

    As far as summer tv shows go

    by creedsthoughts

    This one sucked me in and is semi-watchable.
    Hostess is hot, but makes me cringe when she speaks. When she tries to be clever... her timing is off or something. I'm waiting for Luby or someone to cop a feel next time she paws all over him/her during the feedback portion of the show (ghetta room!).
    I wished the guest judge would've reached over and slapped Carrie Fisher just like the exposed brain dude did at the end of the "humble pie look on his face" director's film. The woman is painfully inarticulate for a screenwriter. Maybe someone could write a "how to give constructive feedback" script for her to read, which would cut the show down to 1/2 hour.
    Garry tees up some decent, funny one-liners usually. I like how he's turning into a dirty, perverted old man on the show by commenting on the host's outfit (or lack therof) and hitting on some blonde sitting behind him who's probably young enough to be his granddaughter.
    I liked the first film by the Indian looking gal. The reaction shots were good. Lots of funny foreign language dialogue.
    The last film by "frozen coathanger" guy (whoever coined this term deserves a beer) was clever and funny. His audio sound effects were good and he had decent actors (last shot was a bit weak, though). I suppose his next film will be completely absent fx and dialogue to prove that he can direct "novice films".
    I thought I saw a thin line of drool coming out of his frozen rictus during the judges' feedback (maybe the hostess had her hand on his ass or something and he was just frozen with joy).

    Peace out.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 11:00:02 PM CDT

    Hey that was Ashley from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

    by neo zeed

    In that bad short film. I got into one lil' fight and my mom got scared n' said,"You're moving with you're auntie and uncle in Bel-Air!"

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 26, 2007 11:05:39 PM CDT

    Another Week ...

    by defunct gamer

    Another week and another way of casting off the loser. Is this the fourth way of telling somebody to pack their bags? First it was a full hour long snoozefest where they got rid of three people. Then they made them wait until the end of the show. The next week they told them right at the beginning. And now the loser doesn't even get kicked off in front of an audience. I'm afraid what they'll do next week ... they'll probably not say a word about the cast away and act like he/she didn't exist.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 27, 2007 12:24:24 AM CDT

    different exit

    by mazzke

    Since this was the first week where they gave each director significant resources for a film made between one show and the other, they probably had to tell them at the beginning of the week instead of at the results show. Otherwise, they'd have to fund a short every week that had no shot of every being on the air.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 27, 2007 6:25:52 AM CDT

    You know how I can tell you're gay?

    by chest_rockwell

    You watch On the Lot, and then discuss it on AICN. Where's our fucking hbo show talkbacks? Big love? Entourage? JfC? But we get tb's for this reality show bullshit?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 27, 2007 8:51:56 AM CDT

    Is it me, or that hostess look like Jelena Jensen?

    by cromulent

    Yeah I got nothing else on this show /shrug.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 27, 2007 9:41:01 AM CDT

    Zach kinda ripped the concept from Spaced

    by evil hobbit

    I mean, the fake shooting and all. He did a good execution though in a funny setting. The only using original camera angles. The other movies where, imho, not funny at all. I realy loath Shalini's smiling. Irritating as hell. Now give us a Big Love talkback!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 27, 2007 11:05:31 AM CDT

    Die Hardly

    by zarniwoop

    I thought Die Hardly was pretty severely ripped off from this banned Xbox 360 commercial ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNuRQmvykwk ).

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 27, 2007 11:07:00 AM CDT

    Die Hardly (2)

    by zarniwoop

    Remove the spaces from the link above, or search youtube for "banned xbox 360 ad".

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 27, 2007 11:45:49 AM CDT

    Zach's film

    by garrydavid

    Zach's film was similar in concept to a short story by Bentley Little. But in Little's story the office employees divide into warring factions and attack and kill each other for real using office supplies. It's caustically funny, whereas Zach's film was terminally cute, which is the guy's fatal flaw. That and treacly sentimentality.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 27, 2007 11:47:30 AM CDT

    Correction

    by garrydavid

    I meant to write "kill each other BY using office supplies," goddamit.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 27, 2007 12:49:51 PM CDT

    Garry David...

    by fish tank

    I'm a HUGE short Horror story fan. I remember that Bentley Little story. I initially had the same reaction ;-)

    Little's story was fantastic.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 27, 2007 4:04:12 PM CDT

    I think we get a talkback because

    by talkbacker with no name

    You keep posting on it! Don't post here if you don't support a talkback for it...easy innit.
    I hate this show but keep watching it and posting about it...weird innit.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 27, 2007 5:31:04 PM CDT

    Yeah we have seen zach's concept quite a few times...

    by talkbacker with no name

    ..before. But he did it well. Maybe not as well as 'spaced' but still pretty good. I get the feeling he hasn't seen the spaced one, so fair dues to him for coming up with it...if he did see it then damn him to hell!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 27, 2007 6:26:03 PM CDT

    done with this

    by dusted

    i realized that this show isn't getting any better. if i wanted to watch shitty short films i'd sit in on a film school tech class. took it off the dvr list. done and done.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 27, 2007 7:52:45 PM CDT

    it's liking watching a car wreck

    by ewokstew

    you don't really want to look but you can't seem to turn away. That being said. I watch it every week.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 27, 2007 11:03:20 PM CDT

    BrillHART

    by ektalon

    It's Brillhart, not Brilliant. Jebus!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Jun 28, 2007 2:52:25 AM CDT

    This show's still on?

    by sithmenace

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