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More TRANSFORMERS Reviews Blow S#!T Up Real Pretty!!

Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here. All of the noise and controversy over TRANSFORMERS is going to reach a peak in the next week and a half, and I still haven’t had a chance to see it. But every single person I know who has seen it seems to agree on one thing: the spectacle is genuinely worth seeing. Now, I’ve talked to people who didn’t care much for the film overall. But I also talked to one guy tonight who just lost his mind for it, saying he’ll see it another five times in the theater. And we continue to get reviews in our inbox, and we’re hearing a fair sampling of reactions there as well. Some have seen it at international premieres, and others at trade or junket screenings. Check this one out, for example, from Madrid:

Hey Harry, long time reader, first time poster. Last night was the premier of Transformers here in Madrid, Spain, and I was lucky enough to get a couple of tickets. Before the movie started, Michael Bay and Shia LaBeouf took to the stage, and Michael Bay said something that after watching the movie I agree with 100%: "We got Shia really cheap...but after this movie, you'll see he's a movie star". I'll keep this review mostly spoiler-free. As a kid I was a big Transformers fan. When I heard they were making a movie, I was fairly excited, though cautious, after all, a movie about toys cannot be very good right? Well, after watching a couple of trailers, I was pretty excited, so last night my expectations were quite high. I must say I had a BLAST with the movie! Something I wasn't expecting: this movies is funny! And I mean that in a good way. I knew Shia was a very good comic actor, but I really did not know Michael Bay could have such a goofy sense of humor. The movie works. The movie works because the characters work...no wait, forget that, the movie works because the fucking robots work! After 2 1/2 hours, I would still feel really excited every time I saw a transformation. There is this one moment where it happens with a police car very quickly, I mean in no frames, and it's just really awesome. I was also pleasantly surprised to see the movie take its time. In fact, Megatron only appears in the last 30 mins or so. I think it was wise of Michael Bay to spend such long time building up tension and just hanging out with Shia in school, showing us what a nerd he is, when he gets his new car,... Then, the last 40 mins or so, the movie goes APE SHIT. It's just non-stop action with really badass fights from secret base, to highway (in what is in my opinion the best action scene I've seen in a long time), to city,.... What didn't work? In my opinion, towards the end, the movie is a little overkill. All the restraint and building up of tension just explodes into this massive 40 mins of non-stop action. I think very few directors can manage such prolonged time of action (James Cameron comes to mind), and while Michael Bay does a terrific job, for me personally, it was a bit overkill. There were also a couple of sub-plots that I feel the movie could have done without. Every time it jumped to one of these sub-plots, I just couldn't wait to get back to Shia's story (maybe the fact that Shia's character is always hanging out with Megan Fox's character had something to do with it....). I was also never quite convinced with Optimus's lips...especially when he looked so cool with the face shield on. And the design of the Decepticons in their robot modes were sometimes a bit confusing...at times it was hard to tell one from another (then again, it was late and I had had a very long day at work). Also, story-wise, there were a few things left unexplained and the ending was a bit rushed (not to mention sequel-friendly). But when you're having so much fun, who cares? I cannot wait to see this again. It's funny that for all the big action scenes this movie has, it is small details that I am reliving one day after with a big grin on my face: (MINOR SPOILERS) the police car transformation, awesome shots of the Autobots in their car modes driving through the desert, Megatron flicking with his fingers a couple of pedestrians, Bumblebee choosing an appropiate song to help Shia woo Megan Fox (for me, the best scene in the movie)... (END OF MINOR SPOILERS) So, all in all, this was a very cool movie. I don't think ANYONE has the right to ask more from this movie. It should meet most people's expectations. In a summer of disappointments, this is really welcomed. I'm probably not discovering anything new here, but expect this to be the biggest movie of the summer and maybe of the year. If you post this, call me Imagineer. Greetings from Spain!

Now, some of you might call that review apologist, but I don’t think that’s the case. I know a lot of people who love the first JURASSIC PARK, and while I think there are some great scenes in that movie, I think there’s also a lot of material that’s just lame beyond words. Yet people have a huge fondness for the film, flawed script and all. And there are still plenty of people who love ID4 because they had such a good time watching it, and no amount of complaints about logic change their enjoyment of it. So keep that in mind. I think it’s going to be unfortunate that the people who seem most unhappy about the film are the ones who have spent the most time obsessing over it pre-release, while general audiences may find themselves having a better time with it. Let’s see what this next reviewer thought:

Hi Harry, I met you (and Papa Geek) a few years ago when I worked with TheOneRing.net to organize the line party for the Trilogy Tuesday LOTR marathon at the Gateway theater. You may or may not remember, matters not - just wanted to say how's it going? And congrats on your engagement! Anyway, 3 1/2 years later, I'm in Los Angeles and working for Sideshow Collectibles - dream job for a geek like me. There are some definite perks that come with working for the top collectibles company in the industry, such as making a few contacts and getting to see some pretty awesome movies before the general public. Transformers was one of these. I figured you guys might be interested in the review I posted on the Sideshow site, as anything Transformers-related seems to strike a great (dis)chord in your fanbase, which is always fun to watch. Basically, I'm a trustworthy source - NOT A PLANT, people... sheesh, I've never seen more cynics in my life than those silly, sad TBers posting in your last Transformers review thread who refuse to accept the reality that this movie rocks. In fact, you can guarantee that I'm not a plant, as I'm cheering for a film which is based off of a property made by a company (Hasbro) which could be called a competitor of my own! Words cannot describe how great I think this movie is. I went in with absolutetly no expectations, and was blown away by the sheer fun of the whole experience. Clapping-your-hands, giggling-with-glee, bouncing-up-and-down-in-your-chair type of fun. And yes, cynical crazy people, the story is good too - it really draws you in. Some of the editing and music styles are not my favorite, but if you don't have a ball watching this movie, you are dead to me and should probably just shoot yourself now to ease the pain of your bleak existence. Here's my short review! Share it, covet it, ignore it, whatever. Just go see Transformers when it comes out - I dare you to hate it. Later, dusty

Then there’s this one, from last Friday’s junket screenings in LA:

Hi dudes, long time reader, first time caller. This weekend I was lucky enough to see The Transformers by Michael Bay (Pearl Harbor) and Steven Spielberg (Schindler's List) and it TOTALLY kicked my balls through the wall in state of the art digital sound!!! WHOAH! That's all I can say. FUUUUCK!!! So here are my two cents. I know your time is valuable so I won't waste your time telling you what I ate for breakfast and how long I jerked off in the shower and all that. When I got there there was a HUGE line and everyone was stoked! I saw at least five guys with goatees and an Autobot logo t-shirt and four with goatees and a Decepticon logo and one without a goatee. But mostly it was not nerds and goobers, just regular people ready to have a good time for a summer popcorn flick! They checked for cameras, cell phones, etc. You know the drill. So we waited for the movie to start in the theater and you could tell there was some palpable tension. Was it gonna live up to the hype. A lot of talk about if they could pull off the flames on Optimus. I was like nerds, PLEASE! It's based on a toy! It's not supposed to be Shakespeare. That's why it has flames, if it was shakespeare there wouldn't be flames but it's not Shakespeare so there is flames. That's just the reality of it. Besides I have a tribal tat on my left bicep that is very similar to Optimus's flames. And I'm thinking of getting one on my back but I'm not sure yet but probably I will do it. So fuck you guys. First of all let me say this is not designed to win Oscars or NAACP Image Awards. So all you pretentious fuckers can go suck a male weiner. Not every movie has to be "good" or have "brains" or "heart" or "soul" or "make sense" or "tell a good story." This is not supposed to win awards and I am positive that Michael Bay will fire three assistants and go on a huge bender if it's so much as nominated for an Oscar for visual effects or sound effects editing. Let alone a Blockbuster Award, Nickelodeon Kid's Choice or MTV Award for best kiss. To be fair it already won one award at this year's MTV Awards but other than that it is NOT designed to win awards! Stop holding everything to such a high standard. Besides, MTV doesn't even play videos anymore, why should we care about awards. Well when the lights went down everybody just about shit their pants. You could tell everyone was loving it except for some of the girls. I don't want to be "politically incorrect" but this movie is not for cunts or fairies. It's for REAL MEN so it's about cars, exploding, punching, Michael Bay's gorgeous sunsets, the friendship between Tyrese and Josh Duhamel, etc. Like 300, you'd have to be gay not to get hard from this movie. You already know the plot (there is none) so I will cut to the chase. The Transformers can be summed up in one word: THE ROBOTS PUNCHING EACH OTHER IS AWESOME!!!!! Like all of Michael Bay's movies you can tell there is action going on by how things are moving on screen. He cuts away and the camera is all like ZOOOM and then BAM! And sometimes it's all smokey or there is fire and destruction. And I was like "FUCK YOU HATERZ!" The action is so balls to the wall that you can't even tell what happens in a lot of the battles, or who is involved, so you will want to see it again and again. Like Tyrese said this is the best action director of all time so what did you expect. When the fuck is this coming to Blu-ray is all I have to say. But this is the kind of movie you have to see with an audience. At this screening everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY, was cheering pretty much from beginning to end, except during the parts with the main human characters. Shia Lebouf is not that bad, if you liked Disturbia you will like him. Although the one character I liked was Megan Fox, TOTALLY HOT. I was like "I would jizz all over that!" and everybody agreed that I totally would. When Optimus transformed himself in front of Shia in the alley everybody in the theater just started high fiving each other, even complete strangers. I'm not exaggerating, my hands were sore before it even got to the fight in the city. TOTAL GEEKGASM. I reached for my popcorn and I could tell there was kind of a bulge there. I was self conscious but I sort of squeezed it a little but I did not stroke it per se. It was through the pants I'm not some pervert. The lighting, shading and reflection on these graphics is some of the finest, most photorealistic computer generated imagery to date. Hats off to the wizards at Industrial Light and Magic. If they don't get an Oscar I will be PISSED. Bonecrusher is my favorite, Megatron is only at the end but he looks sick as hell. But of course everybody likes Optimus. I don't see what all the complaints are about the little boombox guy, you have to have something for the kids otherwise kids won't be able to enjoy it. The robots and transforming is obviously for the adults but it's over the head of a lot of the kids so they have the little Jar Jar character for them, or for the women who go. From what I could tell the effects and score were complete, but some of the humor and talking was temporary I assume because it was pretty terrible, I don't think they would release it like that. But that is not what it is about anyway this is popcorn movies, you don't eat popcorn to a movie with characterization and dramatic situations. You eat popcorn to movies where robots fucking transform! why would you nerds expect shakespeare it pisses me off. I was fully erect and you guys are like but it's different from my precious cartoon. FUCK YOU. If you like the great popcorn movies like ID4, Mummy Returns, Armageddon or National Treasure you will want to fuck the shit out of Transformers, just bend it over and just start thrusting, you know. This is NOT for you film school professors and snob critics who want everything to be a snoozefest like Floating Weeds or The Godfather. Go back to the library, egghead. This is for people who are the real fans! I can't wait to watch it again with my frat brothers, they will literally explode when they see the freeway scene. You don't have to be a geek to have a geekgasm and just spray geek cum all over the movie's face and tits. This movie will be FUCKING HUGE. I know you will say I'm a plant but I don't care, this is easily the best movie I've seen since Crank. If I have one complaint, it is too long, why do movies have to be so long it's hard to sit still sometimes. Still, I GUARANTEE this will open number one at the box office. Mark my words. Harry if you use this call me LamborghiniCountacheStill#1.

See, I thought CRANK was a mild diversion at best, so I’m not sure “best film since CRANK” really carries any weight for me. But here’s another guy who was at the same screening, the last of this batch of reviews:

Michael Bay was in attendance at my screening of Transformers, Friday night in Hollywood. He stood up, right before the film started, and yelled, “I’m here to make sure it’s fucking loud!” And holy shit was it ever! But was it good? Well, I walked up to him, after the screening, shook his hand, and said, “Thanks for the great fucking movie.” So if you want the short and quick of it, there it is. I’ll be going into some light spoilers, so be warned… Transformers reminds me of Independence Day. I know a ton of people that say “Gawd, that movie is sooooo bad! Let me point out all the holes to you…” And they’re not wrong. It’s got holes. But goddammit, I sat next to some of them when it came out, and they were cheering along with everybody else when that fucking dog jumped away from the explosion in the tunnel. You know the part. As tired a cliché it is to say a movie is a “popcorn flick”, so “just sit back, and enjoy the ride”, there’s a reason a cliché is a cliché- it’s consistently true. With that said- The film itself has GIANT plot holes, and if you sat down and nitpicked it, you’d find MANY things wrong with it. However, if you just sit back, and enjoy the ride, you’re going to have a great time. The film opens with a voice over of Optimus Prime, talking about this and that, setting up the McGuffin. Whatever. It was Optimus Prime telling you shit, and this was enough to get the whole crowd cheering. As the film gets going we’re introduced to a ton of characters, fast. If there’s one complaint I have with the film, it’s that things/people/robots get set up WAY too fast. In some scenes, a Transformer is introduce for about 10 seconds as he says, “I’m on my way!”, which leaves you going, “Where the fuck did that tank come from?!?!?” But then you’re like, “Fuck it. The more, the merrier…” And just go with it. Shai LeBouf does a nice job as your stereotypical geek, Sam, whose only dream is to get a car. Oh, and to bang the way-too-hot-for-him Megan Fox. So Sam gets a car, which just so happens to be a robot in disguise named Bumblebee, and the adventure begins. As a fan of the original Transformers, I’ve always felt that the designs for the movie were too busy, and though I loved the movie, I still feel the same way. There are times where there are multiple robots on screen (esp. during the end fight), where I lost track of who was who, due to the similarities of some of the designs. Though I must admit that the one thing I thought would bother me the most, lips on Optimus, didn’t bother me at all. Sure, I would have preferred the face shield the entire time, but whatever. It worked. Overall as a summer film, this film did it for me. It was exciting, funny (even if the kidsy jokes, which I won’t going where a little much), and had some visuals we have never seen in a film before. (I will say that it made me sad that the ol’ cliché that “the black guy always dies” is true, even if you’re a Transformer.) From a ’Formers fan standpoint, if you can get past the designs not being what you grew up with, there’s a lot in there for you, esp. if you’re a hardcore fan. Hearing Prime say shit like “Roll out!” or “One shall stand. One shall fall,” got the geek hairs on the back of my neck standing. Oh, and Megatron’s first line? Fucking classic! I can’t wait to see it again in a few weeks. Yes, in a few years, after it’s been on DVD for a long time, everyone will be saying shit like “where did that one robot go at the end of the movie? Or that other one? Or all those little ones?” or “why did Bumblebee Bee start talking out of nowhere? So stupid!”. But you know what? I’ll remember sitting next to them, as they cheered when Optimus starts talking, and the title “Transformers” comes up on the big screen. Thanks for reading, shaithis77
Readers Talkback
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  • June 21, 2007, 7:10 a.m. CST

    1st

    by raine204

    1st

  • June 21, 2007, 7:17 a.m. CST

    Holy Christ

    by Aquatarkusman

    A human being actually wrote this sentence: "Bumblebee choosing an appropiate song to help Shia woo Megan Fox (for me, the best scene in the movie)." Was it "Lady" by Styx? Have fun, 13-year-olds!

  • June 21, 2007, 7:18 a.m. CST

    Megatron...

    by Midnightxpress

    ...looks awful, but the rest of the movie looks good popcorn fun, nothing too great, best bet PG-13 Starship Troopers...

  • June 21, 2007, 7:19 a.m. CST

    Kick Ass!!!!!

    by azzezino

    I have high hopes for this film.

  • June 21, 2007, 7:19 a.m. CST

    Haha - Wow...

    by MetaFreePhorAll

    Looking the fuck forward to this movie, I don't care if it skews young and dumb, I'm expecting Bad Boys II with robots and really...that's enough, for me...

  • June 21, 2007, 7:20 a.m. CST

    Can't wait, but you're right

    by kkqc9934

    First impression will be awesome and then the details will begin to ruin it. Still, its a journey we've made before and we still keep coming back for more.

  • June 21, 2007, 7:22 a.m. CST

    Sometimes, during a disappointing...

    by Kid Z

    ... movie summer, the only cure is a big, stupid-ass Michael Bay movie!

  • June 21, 2007, 7:24 a.m. CST

    Bah...details.

    by raine204

    Look, Im no "artiste"..I dont care if its going to solve lifes mysteries.... Just give me a brawl, heavy dose of destruction, some corny lines ala 80's action style, some eyecandy tities somewhere, and a most viscious kicking soundtrack/musical score and Im a happy movie go-er. The rest of you go watch lady in the water of something..... :)

  • June 21, 2007, 7:34 a.m. CST

    LamborghiniCountacheStill#1...

    by Zarles

    You're a shithead. How many goatees were there again?<p>Shithead.

  • June 21, 2007, 7:36 a.m. CST

    The 3rd reviewer is a plant!

    by DerLanghaarige

    The others not.

  • June 21, 2007, 7:39 a.m. CST

    i know it will open number 1

    by supercowbell 4 cant stop the cowbell

    with over 70 mil. im just curious to see how muchit will make overall. 300 mil maybe if the movie doesnt dissapoint

  • June 21, 2007, 7:39 a.m. CST

    YET AGAIN YOU HATERS GOT IT ALL WRONG!

    by bongo123

    again i laugh at you and your lame ass excuse about how this movie was going to be shite, fucking G1 designs my arse! enjoy crying into your fucking frosties cause you were so fucking wrong

  • June 21, 2007, 7:40 a.m. CST

    "great popcorn movies like ID4, Mummy Returns, Armagedd

    by MRJONZ72

    and I quote... "If you like the great popcorn movies like ID4, Mummy Returns, Armageddon or National Treasure" ....okay okay I didnt see National Treasuer...but um I wont say anymore.

  • June 21, 2007, 7:43 a.m. CST

    but despire what I said before

    by MRJONZ72

    even though Im a huge fan of the original G1 and I question some of the robot designs..the trailers got me hyped to do see this.

  • June 21, 2007, 7:43 a.m. CST

    Oh my god. Can this idiot hear himself?

    by lost.rules

    "Not every movie has to be "good" or have "brains" or "heart" or "soul" or "make sense" or "tell a good story.""-Uh....WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!!!!!!!

  • June 21, 2007, 7:43 a.m. CST

    Great Popcorn movies

    by MRJONZ72

    Star Wars, Empire, Raiders, Predator, Robocop those are great popcorn movies. LMAO Mummy Returns.

  • June 21, 2007, 7:45 a.m. CST

    Christ, this is my nightmare come true.

    by Horseflesh

    It's like karma is paying me back for making all those jokes about retarded babies.

  • June 21, 2007, 7:47 a.m. CST

    Oh, and this movie will be number 1 for one week.

    by lost.rules

    Then Harry Potter comes out to ruin Michael Bay's day. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Cocksucker!

  • June 21, 2007, 7:47 a.m. CST

    What

    by outlawdsx

    the fuck? There is no way that Lamborghini review is real....in a "there is no way someone like that exists" not a "plant" way. I mean I had a good laugh and all but seriously.....what the fuck was that?

  • June 21, 2007, 7:47 a.m. CST

    that guy is really gay though

    by supercowbell 4 cant stop the cowbell

    movies dont have to make sense to be good? WTF

  • June 21, 2007, 7:49 a.m. CST

    Remember back when Spielburg would have SPIT on Bay?

    by Horseflesh

    Before CG edits in E.T. That's what this feels like to me.

  • June 21, 2007, 7:52 a.m. CST

    Dude, how 'bout a spoiler warning next time!

    by UGABugKiller

    You deserve a big old red "ASS" sign slapped across your face (like Conan does it) for telling us the "black" transformer dies. What a douche. Thanks for telling us all that Jazz dies you f-ing turkey!

  • June 21, 2007, 7:52 a.m. CST

    The guy who liked Battlefield Earth says,

    by lost.rules

    "Not every movie has to be "good" or have "brains" or "heart" or "soul" or "make sense" or "tell a good story.""- Right on, Brother! Now, tell me. How was that movie Gili?

  • June 21, 2007, 7:54 a.m. CST

    LamborghiniCountacheStill#1

    by lost.rules

    ASS!

  • June 21, 2007, 7:55 a.m. CST

    Expert40

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    You should be glad you didn't read much of the other TF talkbacks since the 'fanz' who all read the leaked script went out of their way at every opportunity to give every element away. Including that little nugget. So chill.

  • June 21, 2007, 7:56 a.m. CST

    Star Wars, Empire, Raiders, Predator......

    by raine204

    Dude, your talking about the best of the best popcorn movies ever! EVER! Those types of movies only come around say once every 5 years. Now thats no excuse for Hollywood to give us Trash, but seriously, You really think, at this point, Hollywood can give us another classic without it being a sequal. I dont know, maybe that Shanara series if done right, but??? seriously, watch the movie, have fun. Thats what their about.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:01 a.m. CST

    TheAllSeeingEye...

    by UGABugKiller

    ... yeah, I know, but I've been avoiding spoilers on this flick and the Bourne flick because I actually wanted to go into a movie and be surprised (I ruined Knocked Up for myself and am still kicking my own ass for doing so). Just saying, a spoiled warning would have been appreciated.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:01 a.m. CST

    Yes, movies still have to be "good"...

    by ballyhoo

    ... No matter what genre they are. They still have to be good. Too many people seem to be giving this movie an okay just because it has, to them anyway, good action. Aside from the fact that Bay's action has never been something that I liked, I can't ever just gloss over story and characters and drama. I'm guessing a lot of this hype right now is from the experience, very similar to what happened with Harry's Godzilla review.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:04 a.m. CST

    LamborghiniCountacheStill#1 is not a PLANT!

    by unclemeat

    He just has the IQ of a plant.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:05 a.m. CST

    STILL NOT A SINGLE ACTUAL REVIEW OF THIS MOVIE!

    by tile_mcgillus

    These are not reviews of the movie but of a 1/3 of the film. Does anyone else see that? 1/3! To all the reviewers: a review should critique either positive or negative, the whole movie. I am curently holding my breath in faux anticipation for an actual review.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:06 a.m. CST

    "this movie is not for cunts or fairies."

    by landster

    Nice to see personal opinions conflict with writing an actual review.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:06 a.m. CST

    the more positvie the review...

    by foree forehead

    ...the more awful this movie sounds.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:07 a.m. CST

    expert40 YOU SPOILED THAT FOR ME

    by supercowbell 4 cant stop the cowbell

    ass

  • June 21, 2007, 8:08 a.m. CST

    "Like 300, you'd have to be gay not to get hard"

    by unclemeat

    Yes, because if you get hard watching 300 muscled guys in thongs you are a real macho man.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:09 a.m. CST

    That 3rd review is completely stupid.

    by MonteCristo

    'Not every movie has to be "good" or have "brains" or "heart" or "soul" or "make sense" or "tell a good story."' Oh really? Since when? 'Like 300, you'd have to be gay not to get hard from this movie.' So, you're telling us that we would have to be gay if we DIDN'T get hard-ons by a bunch of half naked men running around?

  • June 21, 2007, 8:17 a.m. CST

    Tile Mcgillus

    by Montag666

    You're not hallucinating. You are right. There hasn't been one real review of this movie on this website yet. And MRJONZ72, thank you for making a list of GOOD popcorn movies. I'm sick of these idiots thinking that popcorn is supposed to mean "completely stupid, but still looks cool". Seriously AICN, what the fuck is up with these "reviews?"

  • June 21, 2007, 8:17 a.m. CST

    so we should expect...

    by almostgrown

    Ironhide to say "Awwwwwww Helll No!! and Perceptor will show up with an Imac to defeat the decepticons with a computer virus, the aerialbots fight over Arcee's affection in Hawaii, Prowl and Jazz bust a drug operation in Miami and Skyfire recruits the constructicons to go blow up an asteriod hurtling toward Earth?

  • June 21, 2007, 8:17 a.m. CST

    ASS!!!

    by UGABugKiller

    expert40 looks sheepishly at the camera when suddenly, a huge, red ASS is slapped over his face! He looks over to Max sitting behind his drums, silently shaking his head.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:24 a.m. CST

    Why dont you fucking haters SHUT THE FUCK UP

    by bongo123

    WITH YOUR CIRES OF PLANT AND FACE FACTS... You were fucking wrong and that Michael Bay was the perfect choice to make this movie and all your fucking stupid lame ass ideas of near G1 designs, so called fucking origins stories and everything else in between your cries of "wwwwaaaaahhhhh" have come back to haunt you, why? cause this film sounds like a fucking blast that caters to everyone but you fucking dickhead fanatics

  • June 21, 2007, 8:26 a.m. CST

    These are GayBay-Fans Praising this shit, Not TF Fans

    by JaySmack

    "Not every movie has to be "good" or have "brains" or "heart" or "soul" or "make sense" or "tell a good story." " and (this is my personal favorite) "the best movie I've seen since Crank. " I think that perfectly sums up the mentality of the people who are heaping "praise" this turd of a flick. Though PLANT is a much better term. Admit it Bay, you're LamborghiniCountacheStill#1! And what a great following Bay has, and exactly the kinds of folks I'd expect to praise him. People who think the Godfather sucked because it had a story and was good, but Transformers is great because it has no story and is not good. Maybe George Orwell should have called his novel "2007" instead of "1984." BTW, isn't it kind of funny how only the RAVE reviews of this movie get put up on this site? And none of the reviews slamming it? Funny how it always works out that way...

  • June 21, 2007, 8:28 a.m. CST

    SOunds like the inital reviews for PHANTOM MENACE

    by jhpiii

    THese reviews are looking awfuls suspicious. Everyone saying the movie is eye candy but has litle substance. And when it comes down to i. THat's what a movie is suppose to be about. I'm sorry but this site is starting to seem very nypocritical, and I am a LONG time reader. But in one breath, everyone talks about how GREAT Brad Bird is at bringing a great story to the screen, and makes it a visual art. Then in the same breath they talk about who cares about story as long as you got great eye candy. All I can say to the staff of AICN is selling out, usually starts with giving (slightly) giving u on your basic principles, for $$$, connectionsthen one day, you look back, and someone s telling you, you've given up on all of them. Hope its worth it. Im sticking to mine, I want a move ie that's more than eye candy, PHANTOM MENACE was great eye candy.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:30 a.m. CST

    Even I have to say...

    by Pawprint

    That Lamborghini guy's review was an apologists wet dream...<p> However, the positives just keep rolling in, the 'haters' keep crying plant; it's all good!<p> Now, where were we?! :-)

  • June 21, 2007, 8:31 a.m. CST

    SELLING OUT leads to the dark path

    by jhpiii

    Once down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny - Yoda

  • June 21, 2007, 8:31 a.m. CST

    FUCKS SAKE LIGHTEN UP, ITS A SUMMER POPCORN

    by bongo123

    MOVIE, nothing else, just pure unadulturated robot mayhem, what the fuck is there not to like? fucking stick to your comics you wankers if you want a deep meaningful story out of a fucking 80's cartoon

  • June 21, 2007, 8:35 a.m. CST

    FOr those who say its just SUmmer Popcorn Movie ...

    by jhpiii

    Obviously are fans of Fantasic Four, Xmen 3, Phantom Menace, Daedevil and would rather watch Mission Impossible 1 2 or 3 instead of The Incredibles.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:36 a.m. CST

    Ah I cannot wait for this

    by godzillasushi

    The third review was a little rediculous btw. 40 minutes of non-stop action, im there.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:36 a.m. CST

    ID4, Mummy Returns, Armageddon....

    by Romoehlio

    now THIS??? I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IN!!!

  • June 21, 2007, 8:37 a.m. CST

    and just so you know: BAYHEM!!!!

    by Romoehlio

    why couldnt they push the relaese to, like, TODAY??

  • June 21, 2007, 8:38 a.m. CST

    RE: FUCKS SAKE LIGHTEN UP, ITS A SUMMER POPCORN

    by ballyhoo

    So was Godzilla.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:39 a.m. CST

    Yack and Others requesting a balanced review..

    by Pawprint

    The short review with the link in it - the guy actually breaks his review down into good/bad etc, and justifies why he thought that.<p> One of the criticisms seems to be 'too intense!' LOL!

  • June 21, 2007, 8:39 a.m. CST

    I AM NOT A PLANT

    by Imagineer

    Mine is the first review posted. I watched this yesterday in Madrid, Spain, and I enjoyed it. Might I add I hated Crank and thought the Mummy Returns was the worst movie ever made? And no, this movie is NOWHERE near such classics as Jaws, Raiders, Empire, Star Wars. Those are not just good popcorn movies, those are some of the best movies ever made in my opinion! And in response to JaySack, The Godfather is one of my favorite movies! That doesn't mean I can't enjoy a fun summer movie like Transformers...does it??

  • June 21, 2007, 8:40 a.m. CST

    Hated FF4, cant see whats was wrong with X3,

    by bongo123

    phamtom menance was ok and daredevil was watchable, never understood the hate for X3 it had some real cool set pieces like the part where professor xavier gets whacked... man that was fucking cool... oh right you comic fiends hated it cause wolverine wasnt wearing yellow spandex, just like optimus isnt some fucking 80's boxy lorry...

  • June 21, 2007, 8:40 a.m. CST

    I love these reviews....if

    by lionbiu

    I love these reviews....if the movie is half as entertaining as these 'reviews' I will be there opening night, lol. 'BEST MOVIE SINCE CRANK' JESUS H. CHRIST get this person a DVD player and some DVD's stat.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:41 a.m. CST

    Sometimes you want to see a "film"...

    by Kid Z

    ... something with a good story and substance... sometimes you just want to see giant robots smashing shit up. Michael Bay makes that sort of mindless eye candy... call them "flicks" instead of "film." After being disappointed with, hell, every major release so far this summer... I'm ready for some mindless fun. At least I know Shia LeBoef won't attempt a dance number and Optimus Prime and Megatron won't sit down at the end and have a nice cry. As for all the "Transformers purists"... get a fuckin' life. The robot designs aren't friggin' gospel and they had to be updated for live action and modern day sensibilities. Optimus has flames painted on him... so fuckin' what? If Bay listened to you morons he'd have to have all the human characters having big, poofy hair and wearing Members Only jackets because the cartoon was made and took place in the 1980's. You're all idiots, shut up!

  • June 21, 2007, 8:41 a.m. CST

    Real TF fans are boycotting this movie!!??? lol

    by bongo123

    what all fucking 10 of you nerdy fuckwits are gonna sit at home and watch the fucking cartoon? fucking losers, gorw up.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:43 a.m. CST

    Transformers and these plant reviews...

    by jhpiii

    is the calssic example, of how Studo exec, vies movie goers nowadays...mindless drones, who will watch anything regardless of substance, as long as its a) animated, b) something blown up, or c) a remake of a really good film

  • June 21, 2007, 8:43 a.m. CST

    These Plants Are Killing AICN Credibility

    by JaySmack

    We know the only thing this turd has are SFX, so where are the "other" reviews Moriarty was talking abuot, the REAL reviews that go into what's wrong with this flick? Guess there's just not enough time to post them too, huh? Only the ones Bay has written.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:43 a.m. CST

    Montag666

    by tile_mcgillus

    Thank god someone else saw that. It is getting to be the pink elephant in the room for AICN. That makes nine reviews that have said the exact SAME thing. All have been sparse of details. Called the action some form of "Explosion Fest" and intentionally ignored the story or dismissed it. I am not crying plant, but just wondering why...<p> There ar about 1 hour and 15 minutes completely unaccounted for.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:45 a.m. CST

    "I can't wait to watch it again with my frat brothers"

    by jabbathegriffin

    That one killed me.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:47 a.m. CST

    Why the fuck dont ya just go and watch the fucking

    by bongo123

    movie yourself and make your own mind up you fucking drones, what you need someome to tell you the whole fucking thing... ever here of keeping some suspense or surprise when watching a movie and besides if you need someone to tell you whether or not you should go see this, you are clearly not the market this is aimed for, you need to be told to jump of a fucking bridge if your not gonna go see this based purely on those kick ass trailers and these crazy ass fan reviews

  • June 21, 2007, 8:48 a.m. CST

    They Praise TF But Can't Tell You Anything About It

    by JaySmack

    Amazing how the PLANTS on these boards tell us what a great flick this is, but don't say a word about the plot. At least one of them was honest enough to admit there wasn't one. But hell, this is a Michael Bay dungheap, we already knew that. OK, we've seen the "flood" of postive reviews of this flick, all 6 of them, where are the negative reviews? Seems almost like there's some sort of informal ban on them, doesn't it?

  • June 21, 2007, 8:48 a.m. CST

    Itll be nice to wacth....but a few months later

    by jhpiii

    Eveyone will be describing this summer as diappointing with the exceptionof PIXAR...because movies like this leave you with nothing. I mean it won't be the Pink Panther, but it'll be ID4, great to watch, then turn it off.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:49 a.m. CST

    Like 300, you'd have to be gay not to get hard

    by filmcoyote

    300 was all mostly naked oiled up men in their leather underwear slapping each other on the back. If that made you hard reviewer #3 then i'd say you protest too much. Transformers rocks nonetheless. Oh, yeah and same reviewer since when do films not have to be good? Surely the one thing they do have to be is good otherwise they are, well, bad! Not a great insight I know but still!

  • June 21, 2007, 8:50 a.m. CST

    Are AICN trying to kill Transformers??

    by lionbiu

    Because these reviews are hardly selling this film at all. I am hoping for a enjoyable film but it would be nice to see one review which is balanced and at least ways the negative and positives while explaining the story.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:50 a.m. CST

    First Reviewer, I trust you.

    by lost.rules

    I'm sure this movie is mediocre fun like you said. It's not going to blow us away. It just annoys me when plants like the last guy post reviews. The best movie since Crank? Are you fucking kidding me?

  • June 21, 2007, 8:50 a.m. CST

    First GODZILLA, then PHANTOM MENACE, next TRANSFORMERS

    by jhpiii

    nuff said..

  • June 21, 2007, 8:51 a.m. CST

    "I can't wait to watch it again with my frat brothers"

    by JaySmack

    I think he meant to say "babysitter." I doubt that anybody who likes a Michael Bay flick is even out of middle school yet.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:54 a.m. CST

    Crank was a great movie

    by Rat Fink

    it ranks with the best like Jean-Claude Van Dame's Knock Off and Uwe Boll's Blood Rayne. Cinematic Gold!

  • June 21, 2007, 8:55 a.m. CST

    it TOTALLY kicked my balls

    by lost.rules

    "So all you pretentious fuckers can go suck a male weiner. Not every movie has to be "good" or have "brains" or "heart" or "soul" or "make sense" or "tell a good story." The film itself has GIANT plot holes, and if you sat down and nitpicked it, you’d find MANY things wrong with it. However, if you just sit back, and enjoy the ride, you’re going to have a great time."- IT'S OFFICIAL. THIS GUY IS THE BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG IN THE WORLD!

  • June 21, 2007, 8:56 a.m. CST

    Kidz

    by JaySmack

    After being disappointed with, hell, every major release so far this summer... I'm ready for some mindless fun. Bay's work isn't mindless, it's RETARDED!

  • June 21, 2007, 8:58 a.m. CST

    The best movie since Crank

    by lost.rules

    .

  • June 21, 2007, 8:58 a.m. CST

    So are we going to get a review of this movie...

    by PwnedByStallone

    from someone who isn't a knuckledragging mouthbreather or a corporate shill?

  • June 21, 2007, 9 a.m. CST

    If this movie turns out to be worse than POTC3, or ...

    by jhpiii

    FF2, or Shrek 3, then I will lose all faith in AICN reviews ...except for Moriarty....and just look for indie reveiews on the web.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:02 a.m. CST

    why argue anymore....the

    by lionbiu

    why argue anymore....the film will make a bajillion dollars and everyone will have a favourite transformer....lets all just join the darkside. THIS IZ SO COOL. IT PWN UR AZZ IT DA FUCKIN SHIZNIT BITCHZZZZZ!!!

  • June 21, 2007, 9:03 a.m. CST

    shit i forgot all about Quartermain

    by Rat Fink

    what a great movie. I love the character Umslopogaas. Should've won an oscar.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:04 a.m. CST

    GurzEon go cry into your G1 toys you fucking child

    by bongo123

    er.. thats all i got..

  • June 21, 2007, 9:04 a.m. CST

    Maybe they should just post Michael Bay's Review

    by jhpiii

    just cut to the chase...instead of giving us plants, and insulting our intelligence.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:04 a.m. CST

    shaithis77, you are a

    by Fenrisulfr

    shaithis77, you are a fucking cunt.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:05 a.m. CST

    Lamborghini...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...is an obvious plant. Before you start screaming how I'm a "Bay hater" for saying so, let me just say that I'm one of the people who's actually looking forward to the movie. That doesn't mean I endorse every positive review that comes out. <p> I despise plants on an equal opportunity basis.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:06 a.m. CST

    GurzEon...

    by Pawprint

    Real TF Fans SHOULD watch this; at least that way if they DO hate it, they're speaking from a position of strength.<p> WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH! I fucking LOVE these TB's!

  • June 21, 2007, 9:06 a.m. CST

    Yawn

    by Innocent bystander

    I'm getting a bit tired of "as a fan of the original...".."as a kid I grew up with..." reviews. The only thing that manages to do, is completly alienate me as a reader who didn't care about transformers growing up..I can't relate to the writers expectations and point of view one bit..I don't give a shit about flames, lips and how Ultra Doombots gun doesnt sound right...The only thing I care about is if it works within the context of the film and not how it works compared to some old cartoon. Skipping that shit would work out great for everybody..The 'true' TF fans who got their panties in a bunch and don't want it compared to the cartoon, and us infidels who couldn't care less about the cartoon (going out on a limb here and assume I'm not the only one)

  • June 21, 2007, 9:07 a.m. CST

    Reading a list of WORST SUMMER BLOCKBUSTERS

    by jhpiii

    Michael Bay occupy 3 of the top 10.....so we know what to expect.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:08 a.m. CST

    But, where's the cat fucking?

    by lost.rules

    I'm not paying good money unless I see some serious cat fucking action. I'm counting on you, Shia!

  • June 21, 2007, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Michael Bay's CUNT ARMY

    by Fenrisulfr

    is getting bigger everyday. How many of them would love to take his cock down the throat?

  • June 21, 2007, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Yes Jaysmack! Yes!

    by Pawprint

    Now cry 'CONSPIRACY!'<p> There have been literally THOUSANDS of shite reviews of this film, and they're ALL being witheld - from YOU in particular - by the same people that flew a remote-control plane into the Pentagon. They are also Jewish Freemasons.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:09 a.m. CST

    Nice quote from the Lady over at sideshow...

    by bongo123

    My prediction: It will go down in history as one of the best, if not THE best, summer blockbuster of all time. When a movie so perfectly combines the greatest effects, the most incredible sound, and the coolest giant alien robot fights ever captured on film (all while resurrecting the geeky, Transformers-loving kid in all of us), who can argue with that?

  • June 21, 2007, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Those fucking Freemasons

    by Rat Fink

    fuckin cult

  • June 21, 2007, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Optimus says to Shia,

    by lost.rules

    "Hey, man. Let's fuck some cats!" Shia says, "Hell, yeah!"

  • June 21, 2007, 9:12 a.m. CST

    The Cult of Michael Bay

    by Fenrisulfr

    is rising.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:12 a.m. CST

    Michael Bays HATER ARMY shrinks day by day

    by bongo123

    till somewhere in someones basement a small collection of wankers all sit around clutching there G1 toys while watching the original cartoon chanting "we wont go see it, we wont go see it" that'll be you fucking lot in a couple of weeks, all fucking 10 of you

  • June 21, 2007, 9:12 a.m. CST

    So, Yack Backer...

    by Pawprint

    Do you think you'll see this now? Even just out of morbid curiosity?

  • June 21, 2007, 9:13 a.m. CST

    "My name is Optimus Dick Lips"

    by Rat Fink

    and Michael Bay totally fucked me in the ass!... This is an actual scene in the movie.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:13 a.m. CST

    THE BEST MOVIE OF THE SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by lost.rules

    Untill, Harry Potter comes out a week later. Suck on that, Michael Bay!

  • June 21, 2007, 9:14 a.m. CST

    I've never been a fan of

    by Fenrisulfr

    I've never been a fan of Transformers. But I sure as hell HATE Michael Bay's visual diahrrea !

  • June 21, 2007, 9:14 a.m. CST

    "Suck a male wiener"? Is there any other kind?

    by boba_rob

    Oh, and PLANTY MCPLANT PLANT! Just wanted to say it! Can't wait for this movie. Looks awesome!

  • June 21, 2007, 9:15 a.m. CST

    GurzEon, you know what you remind me of...?

    by Pawprint

    "If Mori even gives it a little positivity in his review, i done with this place." <p> I read that as:<p> "If somebody who reviews for this site say they like it, I'm gonna stamp my feet and go home - and I'm taking my football with me.."

  • June 21, 2007, 9:15 a.m. CST

    Hey Paw

    by Yack Backer

    Yeah, I think there's a good chance I'll see it. Look, I am all for the coolness people are describing in these reviews. If the movie is that much fun that it doesn't matter all the other stuff is terrible, then I'll take it for what its worth.<p> I still think an oppotunity was lost in this film-- you can make a great action flick that is not offensive to an audience's higher brain functions, but this better be one seriously fun motherfucking movie for me to get over that fact.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:16 a.m. CST

    And until further notice, NANCY DREW is getting my $10

    by Yack Backer

    I'll take my DREW ticket and sneak into the TF theater.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:16 a.m. CST

    Shia's cat fucking has been well documented on TMZ

    by lost.rules

    Actually, it's just a joke from the other TINO Talkbacks.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:17 a.m. CST

    LOL Yack Backer!

    by Pawprint

    "Man, that'd have to be one charming mo-fuckin' movie.."!<p> ;-)

  • June 21, 2007, 9:17 a.m. CST

    Gotta Love the people who

    by JUSTICE41

    Gotta Love the people who don't get the Talkbacks yet. The more you guys yell shut up the harder they will yell Plant. Talkbackers are like babies, they will always go against the grain on purpose just to get a rise. They'll all be there opening weekend and will tell us so by giving opinions even though they all declared the movie shit. hahaha Just go with the flow and let the Talkbackers Talk.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:19 a.m. CST

    I think I'll give my money to 1408 again, and then

    by lost.rules

    sneak into TRANSFORMERS. Ha! Take that Michael Gay!

  • June 21, 2007, 9:19 a.m. CST

    You know what Irony is Yack?

    by Pawprint

    Irony is when you go to watch it and shit yourself with absolute geek joy and pronounce it the best film EVER.<p> Then *I* go and see it and enjoy it about as much as any (straight) man would enjoy being anally fist-fucked by Hulk Hogan!<p> Yeah, you knew where I was going with that!

  • June 21, 2007, 9:21 a.m. CST

    What's funny is that I am starting to hope its awesome

    by Yack Backer

    Which sucks because if it really is the mess that I have predicted, then I will have had my chain jerked AGAIN by this movie. I gotta keep my head clear on this thing.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:22 a.m. CST

    I saw it too...

    by Howling_Fantods

    and it's fucking awful. Bumblebee pees on John Turturro, man. This aggression will not stand.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:23 a.m. CST

    Quit trying to get my hyped Paw!!

    by Yack Backer

    Fuck man, if you're not on the DreamWorks payroll, they better find you and hire your ass.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:24 a.m. CST

    READ THIS REVIEW OF PHANTOM MENACE SOUNDS FAMILIAR!!!

    by jhpiii

    http://www.aintitcool.com/node/3560

  • June 21, 2007, 9:24 a.m. CST

    PLANTOCALYPSE NOW

    by Stuntcock Mike

    "Best movie since Crank" Yeesh.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:24 a.m. CST

    Ah, ya see, when I see Howling_Fantods post

    by Yack Backer

    I get worried all over again. DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY for not being a clearly awesome filmmaker that I wouldn't have to doubt this movie as much as I do...

  • June 21, 2007, 9:25 a.m. CST

    A scene from Transformers...

    by lost.rules

    "Meow." "What's that Mr.Kitty? You want me to fuck you?" "Meow." "O.K. If you really want me to." Shia's character proceeds to pull down his pants, and inserts his penis into Mr.Kitty. Right before he reaches climax, his mom walks in. Shia looks panicked and says,"My bad."

  • June 21, 2007, 9:27 a.m. CST

    http://www.aintitcool.com/node/3560

    by jhpiii

    THISIS IT

  • June 21, 2007, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Third reviewer = joke, not genuine, fake, PLANT!

    by darrenspool

    "TOTAL GEEKGASM. I reached for my popcorn and I could tell there was kind of a bulge there." "I know you will say I'm a plant but I don't care, this is easily the best movie I've seen since Crank." "you will want to fuck the shit out of Transformers, just bend it over and just start thrusting" "why would you nerds expect shakespeare it pisses me off. I was fully erect" "You don't have to be a geek to have a geekgasm and just spray geek cum all over the movie's face and tits." God, that's PATHETIC! Doesn't this site know how to weed these plants out? The first review is shocking. The second sucked. The third is obviously a joke. And the fourth: "The film itself has GIANT plot holes, and if you sat down and nitpicked it, you’d find MANY things wrong with it. However, if you just sit back, and enjoy the ride, you’re going to have a great time." PLANT! Don't tell me to enjoy it - Tell us you enjoyed it, wanka.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:30 a.m. CST

    "(Jar Jar) adds depth to the plot."

    by Yack Backer

    That's the funniest shit I have read all day.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:31 a.m. CST

    Relax.....

    by MJAYACE

    As a child of the 80's I think this flick looks to be the hit of the summer (although Harry Potter looks great as well). I am personally happy to even get a Transformer's movie at all.. Bay's films are not that bad. I have been entertained by all of them. Yes even Pearl Harbor. It could have been a thousand times worse folks-- Paul W.S. Anderson or Uwe Boll could have got their hands on this. Problem is all you late 20 and 30 something fan boys want your childhood entertainment to be 100% matured to what you are now. Give it up guys and realize that your childhood is gone.. Nothing will be like the "First time". That's why you all whined and bitched about the prequels... Just enjoy it for what it is.... Or become a filmaker and do it yourself. One thing though, make sure you keep your AICN handle present so future geeks can evaluate your transformation.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:33 a.m. CST

    That third review is just some guy fucking with you

    by El Mamerro

    That's not a plant, he's not even trying to sound convincing. If anything, I'd say he's an anti-plant, trying to pass off as a dumbshit fratboy and perpetuate the stereotype that only this kind of people would enjoy a movie like this. Seems to be working, from what I'm reading on the TB so far.<br><br> That said, glad to continue to see everyone falling over themselves trying to reconcile their unwavering belief that this movie will be shit with the fact that so far all roads point towards it being a goddamn blast of a movie.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:34 a.m. CST

    Another scene from Transformers...

    by lost.rules

    At a rustic bar, Shia and the other Autobots are playing pool and drinking heavily. That's when a young cat walks in and orders a drink. The Autobots and Shia look at the cat very interested in the cat's body. Cut to fifteen minutes later, in a scence that is fairly reminiscent of the film The Accused, Shia is raping the cat on a pool table while the Autobots circle around him chanting these words, "Fuck that cat! Fuck that cat! Fuck that cat!"

  • June 21, 2007, 9:34 a.m. CST

    Obviously Mori picked the "Crank" dude's review

    by Yack Backer

    to boost TB responses. This is an "entertainment" website afterall. Mori, you whore.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:35 a.m. CST

    Jesus, No Yack!

    by Pawprint

    I couldn't read that lamborghini guy's review because - as I said - it seemed suspect even to ME, but PLEASE tell me he didn't say Jar Jar adds depth! :-o

  • June 21, 2007, 9:36 a.m. CST

    zbobroberts, you're right

    by Yack Backer

    "Best movie since CRANK" is the new catchphrase.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:37 a.m. CST

    Nah, Paw, that was a quote from a PHANTOM MENACE

    by Yack Backer

    review that jphiii linked to above. It would have been better if that Jawa dude from 1999 said "The Phantom Menace is the best movie since he yet-to-be-made film CRANK!"

  • June 21, 2007, 9:37 a.m. CST

    C'mon, people. We should give TINO the benefit of the

    by TheManWithTooManyNames

    doubt . . . until the bit-torrent download becomes available. <p> What!?! Do you think I would pay money to see it? Are you taking crazy pills? Have you been hovering up Bolivian marching dust again? <p> I've been through this before when people were bragging on about how great ID4, Armageddon, Hostel, and those Mummy films were. No way, sucker, I'm not falling for it this time. I won't be handing over $10 to fund some guy's coke habit, until I can vouch for the film myself, especially one that's a Bay film. <p> And for anyone who wants to lecture me on film piracy, I say fuck Hollywood for producing such dross. Don't let it make money from lazy storytelling. Fuck Hollywood when it thinks it can fuck the audience over. Fuck Hollywood in the ass until the man-milk spills out of its mouth. <p> Eventually Hollywood will learn that if it wants to make a profit from this entertainment racket, it'll have to abandon the fallacy that CGI, and choppy editing can alone save a film, and consider another neglected element called story.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:39 a.m. CST

    Wow, ALL rave reviews

    by The Decider

    Either the movie is really good, or, the movie is really good.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:40 a.m. CST

    THis the PHANTOM MENACE Review link

    by jhpiii

    http://tinyurl.com/3y9zwb

  • June 21, 2007, 9:41 a.m. CST

    The movie is really good...

    by C00L DUD3

    at least I sure hope so!!!

  • June 21, 2007, 9:41 a.m. CST

    BumblePEE

    by Howling_Fantods

    You think I'm joking, but at one point, Bumblebee undoes a valve & leaks all over Turturro...Optimus says, "Bumblebee, stop lubricating on that man." I'm crappin' you negative. Just you wait.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:43 a.m. CST

    You know what?

    by nonsensical

    Unless I get a review from Yackbacker or Superninja or even Pawprint. I'm not buying into it anymore. <p> On another note my niece wanted to see FF2 last night so I took her. Turns out it's not terrible. It's not great and the fact that there is no physical Galactus on screen kinda irritated me, but I liked it none the less. Dialog is campy, but for me I've always felt that the FF were a bit campy. About the only real complaint I have for this movie is that it was too short. It could have run about fifteen minutes longer and actually showed Galactus and then this film would have been much better. <p> Oh and when I say Galactus I mean the guy in the purple costume. I read some of the reviews on this site and the ones that bashed the film really latch onto the smallest things wrong with performance or delivery. Really my only complaint of this film, other than the lack of Galactus, was that I wanted more. Just a little more story or fight or something. <p> Just... a little... more. <p> Oh and as of this moment Yackbacker speaks for me. Though I think I'll be using my money for Die Hard instead of Nancy Drew.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:43 a.m. CST

    "When the fuck is this coming to Blu-ray ..."

    by howaboutanicecupofgofuckyourself

    I stopped reading that guys review as soon as he said that. Jesus christ. he'll be buying the game on his PS3 then.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:44 a.m. CST

    I cant wait for this to

    by lionbiu

    I cant wait for this to open..the talkback will be f(gunshot) insane

  • June 21, 2007, 9:46 a.m. CST

    Hey nonsensical

    by Yack Backer

    As always, your faith in me warms my cold, cynical heart. I agree with you re: FF2-- dumb, amusing but not terrible. See, we're on the same page!

  • June 21, 2007, 9:46 a.m. CST

    is Yackbacker still pretending he wont be first in line

    by howaboutanicecupofgofuckyourself

    He's been saying that for awhile now huh

  • June 21, 2007, 9:47 a.m. CST

    Thanks Yack Backer...

    by nonsensical

    Oh and good to actually be on at the same time. How've you been?

  • June 21, 2007, 9:47 a.m. CST

    QUotes from PHANTOM MEANACE Review..sound familiar...

    by jhpiii

    <ul> "George Lucas is pure genius, as for me, this film is the greatest film that I've seen yet." "I'm pissed at the people who said they found Jar Jar to be annoying, because he wasn't." "I'm pissed at the people who stated that Jake Lloyd was monotone and couldn't act, because he could act. He was fantastic!" "In fact, this film was filled from front to back with more stuff than all three of the first Star Wars films combined! " "Jar Jar Binks:he provides great comedy in all the right places. " "Jake Lloyd did a wonderful job. Every scene he was in was great. " "The story was so well crafted" "Natalie Portman impressed the heck out of me." "Jar Jar adds depth to the plot. In fact, this is the first time I've seen a special effect that could act."(OMFG!) AND THE INTRO TO THE REVIEW FROM AICN - "(For those worried that he may be a plant.... He isn't.) "

  • June 21, 2007, 9:47 a.m. CST

    I'm good, nonsensical

    by Yack Backer

    At work, blowing off my responsibilities to hang out in the TBs. Life is good. Now, if I could only get the redhead in the office to sleep with me!

  • June 21, 2007, 9:48 a.m. CST

    we will all see it...FACT!

    by lionbiu

    we will all see it...FACT! There is no denying it everyone will see it than bitch how hollywood keeps on making crap...very sad!

  • June 21, 2007, 9:49 a.m. CST

    Cool...

    by nonsensical

    I'm doin' the same. Though for me it's a blonde. The last redhead I dealt with was... um... socially inept.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:50 a.m. CST

    Yay! First the ultra cool DH sequel and soon TF!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    After those shitty letdowns (read: Spidey 3 and Pirates 3) it seems like the summer is save.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:51 a.m. CST

    Oh...

    by nonsensical

    I almost forgot about the really hot Chinese beauty. That's who I really want... but she's very shy and timid. So, I'm taking my time with her. I can wait until she's comfortable with me. She's really that hot.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:53 a.m. CST

    I hate this review

    by Darth Fart

    Entertaining films can be smart, but after reading this review makes me wonder: ************************** If you like the great popcorn movies like ID4, Mummy Returns, Armageddon or National Treasure you will want to fuck the shit out of Transformers, just bend it over and just start thrusting, you know. This is NOT for you film school professors and snob critics who want everything to be a snoozefest like Floating Weeds or The Godfather. Go back to the library, egghead. This is for people who are the real fans! I can't wait to watch it again with my frat brothers, they will literally explode when they see the freeway scene. You don't have to be a geek to have a geekgasm and just spray geek cum all over the movie's face and tits. This movie will be FUCKING HUGE.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:54 a.m. CST

    Homophobia Rules!

    by Reynard Muldrake

    To reviewer #3...Get out of the closet and embrace it - because if you thought 300 wasn't eye-candy for your so-called 'fairies' and that a general spectrum of people can't enjoy awesomeness in your stereotype world...then if you don't get out of the closet, at least get out of your house (parents' basement) and meet some real people. Of all kinds. In other news, god I can't wait for Transformers - Robosaurus live at the Drafthouse!!!

  • June 21, 2007, 9:55 a.m. CST

    nicecupoflongtalkbackname

    by Yack Backer

    Word.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:01 a.m. CST

    pathetic.. all ya....

    by bl80

    Do you really think anyone gives the slightest fuck if you go see the movie or not? no one does. no one cares.. and while you are at home playing with your G1 toys and masturbating to Screetch's latest porn, the rest of us that want to be entertained will be at the movies have a great time. .... anyone that claims 8 to 10 bucks is too much to spend a couple hours being entertained with whats going to be the action film of the year is either A> unemployed or B> fucking retarded or C> both.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:02 a.m. CST

    Wow! Nonsensical!

    by Pawprint

    Faint praise! Cheers my man.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:03 a.m. CST

    The reviews are hilarious....

    by RevSick

    the film itself sucks but "GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS!", it's like the scene in Family Guy where he convinces people in congress to do things just by going "C'mon".

  • June 21, 2007, 10:03 a.m. CST

    All these reviews say the same thing

    by zilched

    FX was awesome but everything else about the movie sucks. They should just put the movie out with only the FX bits. "Transformers: ILM Demo Reel"

  • June 21, 2007, 10:04 a.m. CST

    I know I'm going to regret this...

    by Pawprint

    but it actually elicited a genuine snigger of mirth from me when I read the line,"BumbleBee, stop lubricating on that man".<p> Fuck, I'm sorry but I found that quite funny.<p> I'll get back in my pot now...

  • June 21, 2007, 10:04 a.m. CST

    Duplicitous objections - (dōō-plĭs'ĭ-təs, dyōō-)

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    "I don't want to see a Transformers movie that simplifies the franchise. I want gritty action, hard r rating. I want a movie that stimulates the mind rather than a simple action movie that just has robots blowing shit up "real good". I want to walk away from the theater actually thinking about the issues raised in the movie I just watched. Incidently I didn't like FF2:ROTSS because there was no galactus in it. Nothing smacks of gritty, intense and serious action than a planet sized man in a big gay hat"

  • June 21, 2007, 10:05 a.m. CST

    I also like that....

    by RevSick

    ....they admit they're getting reviews that are not positive and go figure they aren't posting them.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:06 a.m. CST

    Third reviewer = Repressed homosexual

    by darrenspool

    "it TOTALLY kicked my balls through the wall" (sexually overjoyed by Shia?) "I won't waste your time telling you ... how long I jerked off in the shower" (sexually overjoyed by Shia?) "I saw at least five guys with goatees" (Too busy looking at men?) "All you pretentious fuckers can go suck a male weiner." (So being gay is bad?) "This movie is not for cunts or fairies." (So again, being gay is bad?) "It's for REAL MEN so it's about ... gorgeous sunsets." (So real men are gay) "You'd have to be gay not to get hard from this movie." (So getting hard over Shia isn't gay?) "Megan Fox, TOTALLY HOT. I was like "I would jizz all over that!" and everybody agreed that I totally would." (you need people to confirm you're hetrosexual?) "When Optimus transformed himself in front of Shia... TOTAL GEEKGASM. I reached for my popcorn and I could tell there was kind of a bulge there. I was self conscious but I sort of squeezed it a little but I did not stroke it per se." (Good God!) "You will want to fuck the shit out of Transformers, just bend it over and just start thrusting" (What the hell goes thru your mind?) "You don't have to be a geek to have a geekgasm and just spray geek cum all over the movie's face and tits." (Geekgasm? Geek cum? What are you confessing to?)

  • June 21, 2007, 10:07 a.m. CST

    By the way

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    I wasn't having a go, i just found it hilarious that people say they can't take this movie seriously because it's simple and in the same breath complain that the FF2 movie didn't have a huge camp villain appear at the end....

  • June 21, 2007, 10:08 a.m. CST

    zilched... No the reviews DON'T say the same..

    by Pawprint

    ..thing. Yes, lamborghini's review is somewhat dodgy, and should probably be ignored, but the others are good.<p> One of the criticisms is even that Bay spends a bit too long building up tension. If that's true, then it can't be ALL bad...

  • June 21, 2007, 10:14 a.m. CST

    In fact...

    by Pawprint

    The more I read other people's quotes from 'The Third Reviewer', the more convinced I am that it's a very, VERY good spoof of one of Harry's reviews, or a spoof of the sort of person some people are expecting to enjoy this film.<p> I don't think it could be a plant - NOBODY on this site would be stupid enough to think that was a genuine review, and I'd like to think the studios know this.<p> If this guy is SERIOUS, then he has serious sexual hang-ips and mental problems - or - he's just trying to 'ape' Harry's style.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:15 a.m. CST

    So, it sucks?

    by Thylacine

    So all the reviews admit this is a badly made film, with zero characterization. None of them talk about the Robots as characters- but damn if it wasn't "funny" and full of teh 'splosions. Yeah, this film has suck all over it. I'm also amazed at the angry attitude most of these reviews have. They're so defensive. Dreamworks must be paying these jerks overtime.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:15 a.m. CST

    Not really praise Paw...

    by nonsensical

    I'm just saying that I want a review from someone on this site that's here fighting for their side. I don't care if we don't agree or not just someone who's been here enough to believe or trust if you will. <p> You make that list.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:16 a.m. CST

    Thylacine..

    by Pawprint

    "None of them talk about the Robots as characters"...<p> I think you'll find they DO! <p> One of the reviews makes significant mention of the robots as characters generating emotion in the viewer.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:17 a.m. CST

    "Snoozefest like Godfather"

    by jackalcack

    and "can't wait to watch it with my frat boys" What a massive fucking twat.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:19 a.m. CST

    I'm gonna rap up the adaptation today at work...

    by RevSick

    ...I'll be back with a real review of the material as written in novel form later tonight.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:19 a.m. CST

    Dusty's Review, Thylacine...

    by Pawprint

    "But it isn't simply eye candy that makes this movie great. You will laugh, you will cheer, and you may even shed a tear (there's a scene featuring Bumblebee that particularly strikes a chord - you will really CARE about these 'bots). When Optimus Prime starts philosophizing, you'll nod in agreement and think, "No wonder they are so advanced - these alien robots speak the truth, and so eloquently too!" And finally, the performances are excellent"<p> There you go.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:20 a.m. CST

    Dirrrrty

    by Dangerousapple

    Somehow the line "When Optimus transformed himself in front of Shia in the alley..." sounds kinda dirty. It made me smile. However the following sentence "(I) reached for my popcorn and I could tell there was kind of a bulge there ... I sort of squeezed it a little" is downright disgusting.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:21 a.m. CST

    And the haters have been silenced. hahahahaha

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    Every single review is saying the same thing just as I thought. That this movie fucking kicks ass and is going to make a boat load of money. And I bet dime to dollar all the whiners who were on these TBs will be waiting in line for their tickets on July 3rd lol. I am so fucking stoked I got permagrin on my face just thinking how awesome this is going to be to see on the big screen. Finally a real Summer movie!

  • June 21, 2007, 10:21 a.m. CST

    Whoever thinks The Godfather is a snoozefest...

    by TiVo1138

    can fuck off. But Transformers will rock.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:22 a.m. CST

    Hey, Thanks Nonsensical!

    by Pawprint

    It's nice to make a list other than the 'shitlist!'.<p> That said - I like to think you'd know I'd tell you the truth when it came down to it, and to admit that I'm wrong.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:22 a.m. CST

    TheAllSeeingEye...

    by nonsensical

    Was that directed at me? <p> I don't remember saying I wanted all that in the Transformers movie. <p> I do think that Transformers could have been much closer to the source material. <p> As for FF2, well I expected campy so I wanted campy. Plus I think it would have been better if the giant campy purple man had shown up.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:23 a.m. CST

    I wanna say that again...

    by Dangerousapple

    "When Optimus transformed himself in front of Shia in the alley..." It really does make me smile!

  • June 21, 2007, 10:26 a.m. CST

    Will be as good as HIGHLANDER V : THE SOURCE...LOL

    by jhpiii

    WHat a year for movies.....Hollywood get a clue

  • June 21, 2007, 10:27 a.m. CST

    I'm sorry, I just can't let this go...

    by jackalcack

    Lamborghini if you're reading this and you, in fact are a real person who visits AICN regularly and would therefore probably want to read the talkback to your review, I think I speak for everyone here when I say...YOU'RE AN UTTERLY INEXCUSABLE, BREATHTAKING, AWE-INSPIRING CUNT!!!!

  • June 21, 2007, 10:27 a.m. CST

    It would make a great cliche TB line too...

    by Dangerousapple

    "When (insert name X) (verb Y) himself in front of (name Z)in the alley..." See? Much funnier than 'I just got off the phone..' OR 'X has chosen HDDVD because..'

  • June 21, 2007, 10:29 a.m. CST

    When Bly-ray phoned himself in front of HDDVD...

    by Dangerousapple

    No wait, that´s not quite right...

  • June 21, 2007, 10:29 a.m. CST

    Awesome....

    by RevSick

    "When Don Murphy unzips himself in front of Shia in the alley..." it is fun.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:35 a.m. CST

    Guys, relax....

    by DarthBakpao

    there's life outside the talkback... why spend so much energies and hates here? It's not like it is going to be the end of the world... Uwe Boll's Thundercats, now that would be apocalypse coming

  • June 21, 2007, 10:35 a.m. CST

    I'm looking forward to an actual cognizant and

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    professional review. I could give a shit if these reviews are legit or not. They are just poorly constructed and ignorant beyond reproach. But the movie does sound "wicked fucking cool yo!". Are any of these reviewers high school graduates?

  • June 21, 2007, 10:36 a.m. CST

    Liking your work, Dangerousapple...

    by Pawprint

    "When Nipples on the Batpod phone flames on Optimus in front of Little Miss Sunshine in the alley, Kurt Russel laughs..."<p> That IS fun!

  • June 21, 2007, 10:36 a.m. CST

    Whether you like the phrase or not

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    lots of apologies in those reviews....

  • June 21, 2007, 10:38 a.m. CST

    That didn't actually tell me anything...

    by Thylacine

    Does that mean Bumblebee is sad, or Optimus is really smart, like all the characters in the Matrix? Thus far this looks to be a total waste. I can't wait for it to come out, bomb, and let all the Transfans move on to something better.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:39 a.m. CST

    Not particularly Nonesensical

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    But your post certainly made me think. You have everyone on here crying out that this is a big dumb movie. Last talkback one idiot even said he wanted gritty. Then i saw your post about FF2 and it just made me think; FF2 sucks because there isn't a big galactic sized guy in pointy hat but TF sucks because it's not serious. Makes no sense to me is all.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:42 a.m. CST

    TheAllSeeingEye, it's a question of expectations

    by Yack Backer

    The first FF movie set the bar so low, anything that didn't make you vomit was a step up from the original/.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:50 a.m. CST

    Yack

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    I'm not saying the first movie didn't suck; it most certainly did. I'm just pointing out the weirdness that abounds in talkbacks and how excuses seem to be thin on the ground.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:54 a.m. CST

    As Yack said...

    by nonsensical

    plus, I think that if Tim Story had the balls to make a movie that stayed close to the source then we would have seen Galactus and it would have worked. <p> As it stands the movie was fun but lacked that one thing to make it better. Plus, as I said I've always felt that FF is campy at it's core so it's what I expect to see. The story is pretty good and campy. Way better than the frist one, but missing that one thing that makes it all just a little better. <p> Transformers on the other hand is about a war between two factions that spills out onto the earth. At least it could have been, instead it's two rival teams led by feuding brothers hunting down a cube to make electronics come to life. It didn't need to be all serious, but it could have stayed much more true to the source. <p> It's not that it sucks because it's not serious, but more that the story could have been better.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:55 a.m. CST

    Thin? Nah man, you can go EVERYWHERE!

    by Dangerousapple

    "When Scotty beamed himself in front of Kirk in the alley"

  • June 21, 2007, 10:56 a.m. CST

    Did someone leave the Baby Bio out?

    by photoboy

    I see lots of plants growing.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:57 a.m. CST

    Watch the Academy give the FX Oscar to WETA again!

    by DarfurOnTheRocks

    ILM does not get enough respect!

  • June 21, 2007, 10:59 a.m. CST

    TO HEWHOCANNOTBENAMED

    by Imagineer

    Hey HeWhoCannotBeNamed, to answer your question, after finishing high school, I studied Electronic Engineering, and then did a Masters in Telecommunications. After working for a major Telecoms company for a year, I now work for Deloitte. I am Spanish and yet speak and write English better than you. What do you do?

  • June 21, 2007, 11:03 a.m. CST

    They're not plants, just morons

    by Ricky Henderson

    That guy's second review he posted the link to is actually pretty decent however.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:03 a.m. CST

    Wud duh?

    by Dollar Bird

    The more I read that 3rd review, the more I think it HAS to be tongue in cheek. No one really thinks that way, right? Even the most meat-headed of Chads wouldn't write that and then send it in to this geek haven of a website. Sweet mother, that was just a wretched, wretched review.<p>I was wholeheartedly against me seeing this film for a long time. Mainly b/c Michael Bay movies give me a headache. But then I heard Peter Cullen interviewed on that comic book podcast and he was SO nice that I wanted to see the movie just to give him some money and love. Then I read these reviews, see the hubris of both sides of the TF camp posting in the TBs, and am glad I'll be out of town when it opens. Chances are, I'll never see it. When I get back home from the wild woods of "up nort", it'll be Harry Potter time. <p>You know, as lame of a hope as this is, all I really wanted out of this film was Cullen, Welker, and the dynamic between Starscream and Megatron to be intact. As far as I'm concerned, getting one out of three ain't all that good. (And no, one throwaway line from Megatron does not count as "the dynamic".)

  • June 21, 2007, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Free kool-aid!!! Drink it up!!! Guyana Grape

    by 1178Hunterbosser

    <p>Yum yum- straight from Dreamworks/Paramount/GM/Hasbro marketing- served up in a daisy cup.</p><p>Guaranteed to satisfy even the lowest of expectations-now with more cliche's and a 1/3 less robot film time.</p>

  • June 21, 2007, 11:05 a.m. CST

    By the way the male usage isn't ALWAYS more appropriate

    by Dangerousapple

    "When Conan 'o Brien jokes herself in front of Andy in the alley..."

  • June 21, 2007, 11:09 a.m. CST

    I fucked LamborghiniCountacheStill#1, in the mouth...

    by samuraiyao

    You piece of shit... Just give us a review of whether its good or bad. You don't have to criticize other people about their enjoyment of movies. Fucking bitch, i'm going to kill you...

  • June 21, 2007, 11:10 a.m. CST

    Surely I've got better things to do, but fuck it...

    by jackalcack

    When Paulo shits himself in front of Nikki in the alley

  • June 21, 2007, 11:14 a.m. CST

    "you'd have to be gay not to get hard"

    by spiteface

    ...right, 'cause gay people don't like explosions and action, they're only into interior design and make-over shows. uh-huh.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:14 a.m. CST

    I'll keep it short... when I was a kid...

    by Heckles

    Get the point assnecks! No one cares about your childhood. Make with the review, chop chop.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:18 a.m. CST

    Thanks for the Blu-ray mention

    by AlwaysThere

    It will be a great experience at home in November or December of this year.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:18 a.m. CST

    I like Armageddon and won't apologize for it

    by ScamsAndFlams

    So I'm guessing I will like this. What I realized is that Bay movies NEED the cheesy, often shitty moments like crackers on Liv Tyler or that dreadful Aerosmith song... granted, Armageddon had a LOT of those elements. But look at The Island, which tried to be oh-so-serious, and sucked oh-so-hard. I hope Bumblebee picks the most insanely emo, whiny love song I've ever heard in my life, preferably sung by washed-out rockers who were never that good in the first place. And then the camera swings around Billy Bob Thornton's frowny face.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:22 a.m. CST

    Third Reviewer is my personal hero

    by ScamsAndFlams

    That was the most beautiful fuck-you to this site and its readers I've ever seen. God bless you sir.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:22 a.m. CST

    yeah spiteface

    by half vader

    and God knows they don't like looking at oily musclemen getting all hot and bothered! That one is going to be a gay classic down Oxford street (gay capital of Australia) for years to come. Any money there's a 300 float at next year's Mardi Gras.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:22 a.m. CST

    Voices?

    by darkslab

    nobody has commented on how the voices sound. i'm sure Optimus is great, but what about Megatron? Does Hugo Weaving really deliver?

  • June 21, 2007, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Lamborghini is actually Axel Rose

    by half vader

    AXEL-IN-DISGUISE! Will he ever come out of the closet (in his whit spandex bikeshorts)?

  • June 21, 2007, 11:24 a.m. CST

    lol, always the hate towards michael bay

    by SithAboveAll

    i dont know why so many of you hate on him so much, seriously. i'm sure everyone here could do so much better than him.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:32 a.m. CST

    RE: spiteface

    by Dangerousapple

    Very true! But that's also makes it funny. This reviewer thinks getting hard (lterally!) off a machine makes you a heterosexual. I my mind, it makes you a machinefucker. Hmmm... "When LamborghiniCountacheStill#1 jerked himself off in front of Optimus Prime in the alley...all the gay men switched the channel to Oprah"

  • June 21, 2007, 11:33 a.m. CST

    LamborghiniCountacheStill#1 needs an ass kicking!

    by Redbox

    I hope this movie is good, I really do. Optimus Prime is the SHIT! But I hate apologists who say everything is pretentious because people want movies of quality and scripts with hints of character development. Fuck the "Keeping It Real" assholes who think intellectuals are just a bunch of people who go around reciting poetry. If you're proud to have no taste and the IQ of horse shit that's cool, just makes you less of a threat in life. For the rest of us who don't have to wallow in shit, and act like a pig in order to prove we're not "pretentious fuckers" we will enjoy great films and great popcorn films without having to worry about excepting whatever crap Hollywood tries to insert. I love being an intellectual redneck! Cheers!

  • June 21, 2007, 11:34 a.m. CST

    YackBacker has chosen Transformers...and here's why

    by howaboutanicecupofgofuckyourself

    because everyone else has and he doesn't want to be alone. Again.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:40 a.m. CST

    A Spielbay Film

    by ludmir88

    i don't want to feel stupid watching a movie. ID4 was just a waste of my time and money. Forgive me brain!!!!!!!

  • June 21, 2007, 11:49 a.m. CST

    Can y'all relax with the hate...

    by RichieRich

    ... when you haven't even seen the fucking movie. haha....losers.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:54 a.m. CST

    popcorn movies can be good or bad too

    by mrdinky

    This is one of the dumber reviews I've ever read: "If you like the great popcorn movies [sic] like ID4, MUMMY RETURNS, ARMAGEDDON or NATIONAL TREASURE you will want to fuck the shit out of Transformers." THE MUMMY was a popcorn movie. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN was a popcorn movie. GLADIATOR was a popcorn movie. LORD OF THE RINGS movies were popcorn movies. The original STAR WARS trilogy were popcorn movies. T2 was a popcorn movie. ALIENS was a popcorn movie. Hell, even TOP GUN was a GOOD mindless popcorn movie. The difference? the latter were all GOOD popcorn movies. ID4 was a fucktarded ripoff of WAR OF THE WORLDS and V - anyone who watches any sci-fi couldn't NOT see that; forget about the "logic" of the movie; that's not even it's problem; it's problem is its producer and director are hacks. THE MUMMY RETURNS was completely void of the RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK mix of playfulness and seriousness that made it's predecessor a great summer movie. ARMAGEDDON was just gawd awful. it was like watching the SW prequels (also bad popcorn movies, btw - EP3 is debatable), where the idiots-that-be tried to tell this "convincing" love story in the middle of an obvious brain dead, fx laden action flick - that ruined any kind of ride the movie might've taken me on. NATIONAL TREASURE is the only semi-respectable movie on that list, and it wasn't all that fun. However, it wasn't boring and, like THE MUMMY, kept things light.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:55 a.m. CST

    "True fans"

    by Staldo

    LamborghiniCountache sounds like the most logically impaired, half-retarded fucksock com major fratboy on the planet,(yeah, I had a goatee, but shaved it off, you genetic mistake)but the ass that said you can't be a true fan and see this movie is almost as idiotic. Who the fuck made him the keeper of the big purple book of Transformers fandom? Transformers is about robots from Cybertron who disguise themselves as animals and vehicles from other worlds and the good guys are usually led by a dude named Optimus or Prime, or Convoy. That's all the continuity I need. You can stick with your first two seasons of the cartoon as the only form of transformers you'll accept, but you must live in a pretty boring-ass world. I'm sure you love sitting through gems of episodes like "the girl who loved Powerglide" and that one where Prime gets hunted by a british safari guy. The '86 movie probably even pissed you off, because it had, you know, character designs that were a departure from the first two seasons, and new characters. Much like the first issues of the comic back in '84, this movie begins with a kid who has sneaking suspicions that his car is alive. I appreciate that deference to source material, stuff a lot of people who call themselves fans have probably never read. That's why I'm seeing this movie. In between explosions, the new movie even explores aspects of Transformers never before mentioned. What part of the planet Cybertron is Ironhide from? This movie knows and you don't. THE TORUS STATES OF PRAXUS, BITCH.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:59 a.m. CST

    86 movie

    by mrdinky

    to be fair, and I liked rodimus and rodimus prime, but who DIDN'T hate that a little shit like rodimus replaced optimus prime? i mean...he's optimus prime! he IS the transformers. and the show brought him back cuz they realized this as well.

  • June 21, 2007, noon CST

    but what about the Transformers?!

    by Pagz

    Jesus. There's only 1 thing I'm interested in with this film, and not a single reviewer touched upon it, how telling. How much does the movie focus on the story of the actual transformers as opposed to the dorky kid? The trailers, and these reviews, lead me to the conclusion that little to no time is spent on the actual story while the majority of the film is spent on the story of Shia lewhatever. That's not what I'm interested in seeing. The humans should be marginal characters at best in this film. Transformers was never about humans, it was about robots dammit. I just wanna know, am I gonna hand over my 10 bucks to see some dumbass kid deal with being a kid and pine after a seemingly unattainable girl and shit like that, and he just happens to buy a robot car for some reason, but enough of that, back to the kids? Fuck that.

  • June 21, 2007, 12:01 p.m. CST

    Worst movie ever... I LOVED IT!!!

    by JusticeSabre

    Yo... Can I write a review for this shit after I've downloaded it? <br> <br> MBFL.

  • June 21, 2007, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Hey, it could be worse......

    by Jak0lantern01

    Starscream could escape at the end because Optimus is too busy raping that mental patient Megatron.

  • June 21, 2007, 12:19 p.m. CST

    Yeah, I was gonna make a comment about the gayness of

    by Jak0lantern01

    300. I mean, do you like gladiator movies?

  • June 21, 2007, 12:30 p.m. CST

    You idiots think the third review is real

    by ScamsAndFlams

    WOW, I am STUNNED, STUNNED at the level of naivete in this talkback. STUNNED I TELL YOU. GET HELP IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!

  • June 21, 2007, 12:30 p.m. CST

    Maybe it's just me...

    by Bubba Gillman

    ...but I think that Lamborghini guy is actually giving it a bad review. It reads like a parody of a Neil Cumpston or Vern review. Or maybe I'm giving the guy too much credit.

  • June 21, 2007, 12:33 p.m. CST

    Jaysmack...

    by Kid Z

    ... Okay... some nice, mindless, droolingly retarded fun! Fun amped to the level of Corky-ness! There, I admit it!

  • June 21, 2007, 12:34 p.m. CST

    ultimate irony

    by Staldo

    I'm sure somebody has brought this up before, but what if,on the off chance, this movie does really well, and they make Transformers sequels, and in one of them Optimus dies and is replaced by Rodimus Prime, who changes into a 2012 hybrid Porsche or something, WITHOUT FLAME DETAILS. Then people could kick up the shit, saying "No Flames on Rodimus=Flames on Optimus=Nipples on the Batsuit" Nobody actually would of course, because most people think Rodimus sucks anyway, but it's funny to think about

  • June 21, 2007, 12:34 p.m. CST

    everybody in the theater just started high fiving each

    by DarthBakpao

    other, even complete strangers... any stranger dare high fiving me would meet their gruesome deaths, unless they're hot chicks...

  • June 21, 2007, 12:41 p.m. CST

    Scamsandflams...

    by Staldo

    After rereading that thing,I am stunned by my own naivete. It reads like dialogue from the frat aliens on ATHF. I am willing to forgive myself though,because there really are TENS of THOUSANDS of human beings with mental processes exactly like this. Only they can't spell or type, so this would have had to be a freak savant-type.

  • June 21, 2007, 12:42 p.m. CST

    What about the chest bumping fat kids? Were they there?

    by Ricky Henderson

    These reviews are completely unauthentic without portly children chest bumping each other.

  • June 21, 2007, 12:43 p.m. CST

    Bumblebee has chosen Camaro... Here's why...

    by i pwn teh suk and i pwn it well

    'Cos it's yellow with black stripes, y'see, and seeing as his name is Bumblebee, kind of a no-brainer really. I mean, when his proto-form first glimpsed that 1974 automobile, he must have thought the gods were smiling upon him that day, huh? Through the medium of his car radio, he taps into 'The Lady in Red' by Chris de Burgh..."you lucky, lucky Earth ladies, someone is getting laid to-nite-ah!" (Extract from Feb 2004 draft; Authors: Orci and Kurtzman (Copyright))

  • June 21, 2007, 12:50 p.m. CST

    Wait, you DON'T like Jurassic Park?

    by zikade zarathos

    What is lame about that movie? This plus your declaration that Brad Bird is the planet's greatest director has me thinking you fell and hit your head at some point this month.

  • June 21, 2007, 12:52 p.m. CST

    Yes, was the film CHEST BUMPINGLY good?

    by finky089

    And I'm not talking about Megan Fox... <p> Because if to fat 15yr old kids were jumping up and down slapping their fat manboobs together over this film, I just can't be convinced that it's any good.

  • June 21, 2007, 12:52 p.m. CST

    Jesus is weeping right as we

    by lionbiu

    Jesus is weeping right as we speak because of Michael Bay and his power over geeks everywhere. He is a false idol and more talk of him will just cause a global disaster...head the warning

  • June 21, 2007, 12:53 p.m. CST

    its funny

    by Bouncy X

    these few people trying so hard to convince others to not see this, and trying so hard to show their dislike...it reminds me of those guys who try so hard to be "manly" and then you eventually find out theyre really gay. i'm not implying the "haters" are gay, but i am implying they probably wanna see it but are afraid to admit it. of course this is just my OPINION, its not fact so i wont get all upset over any of it.

  • June 21, 2007, 12:53 p.m. CST

    Jurassic Park will make Transformers look like ass!

    by lost.rules

    And it won't be hard to do.

  • June 21, 2007, 12:54 p.m. CST

    TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO!

    by finky089

    I know, MNG loves to protect the baby seals, but... <p> TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO!

  • June 21, 2007, 12:54 p.m. CST

    This will make allota $$$$

    by SlickyVonBoner

    from repeat viewings. Most movies are a see-once then maybe rent it later deal. This will have so many cool scenes you'll want to re-see-it. Like Star Wars, Jurassic Park. I haven't been this excited for a movie in a while.

  • June 21, 2007, 12:57 p.m. CST

    Chest thumping fat kids

    by Jak0lantern01

    Just brings about mental images of pure chaos and mayhem in a movie theatre. It could only be accompied by such things as flying popcorn and rolls of toilet paper streaming through the air.

  • June 21, 2007, 12:58 p.m. CST

    Seriously, Bay apologists. Name one good movie he made.

    by lost.rules

    ?

  • June 21, 2007, 12:58 p.m. CST

    Bouncy X, these days it's really quite the opposite

    by finky089

    Most of the people trying so hard to convince people about this film is coming from those who are HELL BENT on telling everyone how "great" the film is, depsite admitting the plot, acting, and story sucked or was convoluted. <p> The people who see this lowest common denominator schlockfest for what it is spoke a LONG TIME AGO, and though we continue to make th epoint when brought up, are not the ones shouting the loudest about Bay's film anymore. That's the folks who are repeatedly mistaking "mindless" entertainment as "good filmmaking".

  • June 21, 2007, 1 p.m. CST

    This movie will not make alot of $$$.

    by lost.rules

    One, the writing will be so terrible that no one will rewatch till it comes out on DVD. Two, Harry Potter comes out seven days later. Michael Bay is fucked!

  • June 21, 2007, 1:01 p.m. CST

    Damn you, finky089!!!

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    How can you live with that much blood on your hands?!?!

  • June 21, 2007, 1:01 p.m. CST

    Jak0lantern01, now that sounds like entertainment!

    by finky089

    I picture that scene in Airplane! where Elaine ever-so-subtley breaks the news to the passengers that they need a pilot and all the passengers go beserk. And you get the half naked lady run across the screen just for the chaotic hell of it. <p> Sometimes I miss the classic Zucker Bros. movies...

  • June 21, 2007, 1:03 p.m. CST

    MNG, it's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it

    by finky089

    Jobs = a means to an end <p> Ironically, once I've saved up enough blood money from JLo so that I can retire, I plan to become a benefactor of PETA.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:04 p.m. CST

    Lame JP

    by Staldo

    things lame about Jurassic Park 1.the word "veggiesaurus" 2.T-rex roaring as "when dinosaurs ruled the earth" banner flutters in front of her 3.I.obnoxiously beeping PCs, II.presumed audience ignorance of computers 4.girl going insane over "interactive CD-ROM"(some leeway on this one. They were cool in'93) 5.T-rex tears open SUV to get two children when there is an invalid triceratops in the field over yonder. 6.Dinosaurs like to eat everything except people's hands, apparently. 7.shot of birds at the end, suggesting "dinosaurs are still alive, in our hearts, and birds are almost as cool." No, no they're not, and neither were the sequels.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:06 p.m. CST

    That thread is going to be known as the official

    by Jak0lantern01

    Kamala, FUCK OFF thread. Too funny. It'll be up there with the notorious Bob Clark/Big Chill remake talkbacks.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:09 p.m. CST

    Still waiting on someone to name the good Bay film.

    by lost.rules

    Anyone?

  • June 21, 2007, 1:11 p.m. CST

    The Rock

    by Jak0lantern01

    Oh, and I just watched Armegeddon again, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. Actually entertaining in a braindead, macho, testosterone-ish sorta way.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:13 p.m. CST

    LamborghiniCountacheStill#1 must be retarded

    by the_pissboy1

    To say that story, characters, etc matter not. Fuck, just give us a compilation of fight scenes in movies. Hell, let's make movies into little more than cumshots.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:13 p.m. CST

    finky089

    by Bouncy X

    i do agree there as well, the ones pushing so hard to say it'll be awesome and stuff probably are trying to convince themselves. thats why while i do think it'll be good, i'm not doing that stuff. i'll see it and if its good then it is and if its not then its not. its just a movie, i've seen many good and many bad and a few looked good but werent and a few looked bad and werent. thats just movies for ya. but i dont understand the fierce "attacking" on either side though. if you truly think it'll suck then enjoy ur opinion and dont go see it. and if you truly think i'll rock then enjoy your opinion and go and see it. but why get so upset or angry when other people disagree? but the reason i brought up the negative people in my first post is because it seems they cant even accept other people might wanna see this or enjoy it. they think anyone who doesnt share their opninion is less worthy. i mean when i read those reviews up there and saw them compare to other popcorn movies, i KNEW people would start attacking them for their tastes. like god forbid someone likes a movie you though was bad. anyway everything everyone is saying in these transformers talkbacks (myself included) is just pointless and we're all repeating ourselves. those who wanna see this will, those who dont will not. the end.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:16 p.m. CST

    staldo and jurassic park

    by Bouncy X

    just wanted to say, this is just my opinion but that shot of the birds at the end i think was just to promote the whole "dinosaurs evolved into birds" theory. because if i'm correct, at the time the movie came out it was a pretty new theory.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:19 p.m. CST

    the_pissboy1 IS retarded

    by ScamsAndFlams

    because he thinks that review wasn't a brilliant piece of satire.<br><br>And lost.rules, no matter how much I agree with your name... the good Bay film is Armageddon.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:20 p.m. CST

    lost.rules

    by Ricky Henderson

    A good Michael Bay film would be The Rock. Runners up are the Bad Boys movies and to some extent, Armageddon. And if you don't think this flick isn't going to make a shitload of money this summer, then I've got a bridge I'd like to sell you.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:20 p.m. CST

    dinosaurs evolving into birds

    by ScamsAndFlams

    was not a new theory when jurassic park came out. at all. read books.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:21 p.m. CST

    As much as I'm going to hate this film...

    by TinSpider

    It pains me to say it will make a killing at the box office. ID4 is one of my most hated films. I cringed several times it was that bad. Pretty to look at though, but not pretty enough to stop me getting my money back.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:21 p.m. CST

    Yeah, THE ROCK was fun

    by Yack Backer

    Bay's other movies don't stick to my ribs at all. As for $$$, I'm going to predict it will make a total of $275 million domestic.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:21 p.m. CST

    Shit I forgot about the Rock

    by ScamsAndFlams

    that's the best one. then Armageddon. Wow, THE ROCK. classic.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:22 p.m. CST

    John Carpenter's Jurassic Park

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Spielberg should let Carpenter do a remake of Jurassic Park (Carpenter could keep the story closer to the source novel, like he did with The Thing).

  • June 21, 2007, 1:25 p.m. CST

    I love the respect "Armageddon" is getting here

    by Ricky Henderson

    I actually used to own the Criterion double disc DVD edition of "Armageddon." Then one summer I leant it out to a girlfriend who later dumped me and never returned the disc. Our favorite song was "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith from the soundtrack. I cry a little every time I hear that song on the radio. So sad. "Armegeddon" has a special bittersweet place in my heart as a result.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:29 p.m. CST

    The Rock= Classic? Jurrasic Park=Stupid?

    by lost.rules

    Huh. I have different tastes than you gentlemen. Good day to you.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:35 p.m. CST

    The Best since...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Uh...'Crank'? Holy shit. Okay, sometimes, there's people who say things like that and they're joking. Some people preface a review of a flick with some vow that they aren't film snobs and other hoo-hah. But, when you go through the whole review and say nothing about the flick that can't be gleaned from the trailer, and finish up with 'It's my favorite since CRANK', I have to blink and wonder what the hell I have to do to become a reviewer for this site. First, no more fucking Ritalin. Second, no more fucking decaffinated sodas. And Finally, FUCK YOU, MLA HANDBOOK...out the window you go! I appreciate the need to say how cool the movie was, but I didn't hear anything in the review about the acting, the plot, and most of all the plot. Man, I love shit getting kicked down by giant robots. Though, to be fair, all of my arguments for the flick have been about judging it before seeing it. I still want to see the flick. But shit, man tell us something about the plot...something about the content. Sigh. Anyway, thanks for the effort...And Testarossa forever, dawg. ;)

  • June 21, 2007, 1:38 p.m. CST

    Ricky Henderson

    by Jak0lantern01

    No offense, but I'd kick you in the balls right now if I thought you had any. "Cry a little every time...." you hear a song on the radio that reminds you of a chick that dumped you? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DAYS WHEN MEN WERE MEN?! Sorry, you left it open......

  • June 21, 2007, 1:39 p.m. CST

    LOL @ "Fuck You, MLA Handbook"

    by Ricky Henderson

    ...quality stuff there. I've absolutely had it with AICN giving the podium to 13 year olds (or 30-something man-children). Do yourself a favor kids: learn the goddamned language before putting your thoughts out there for talkbackers to rip apart.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:42 p.m. CST

    Uh, I was being sarcastic Jack0lantern...

    by Ricky Henderson

    Go back and read that post again. The only true part of that statement was that yes, I once had a girlfriend, and yes, I loaned the Armageddon DVD to her and never got it back. So no offense taken my thickheaded friend. Cheers.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:44 p.m. CST

    I was just messin' with you

    by Jak0lantern01

    Besides, you never know. I think I accused an entire group of talkbackers yesterday of having their mothers still wipe their butts for them on one of the HALLOWEEN tb's.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:48 p.m. CST

    Both I and ScamsAndFlams have said it already.

    by Bubba Gillman

    The Lamborghini guy review is a parody. It actually appears that he's trashing the film if you read it in that context (assuming he's actually seen it).

  • June 21, 2007, 1:49 p.m. CST

    cute simpsons movie trailer

    by lionbiu

    http://tinyurl.com/yxhtab Now back to the transformers debate...who is winning?

  • June 21, 2007, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Bouncy X, agreed- it's all been said

    by finky089

    the horse has been shitkicked all the way to the glue factory and presently can be seen holding together the floor tile on whic the two fat kids bumping chests ove summer movies stomp mercilessly upon. <p> Cheers

  • June 21, 2007, 1:56 p.m. CST

    This is a nice Michael Bay answer:

    by ludmir88

    Q: How did you balance the needs of your vision as a filmmaker with those of Spielberg and those of the fans? I noticed that there are definitely some Spielberg elements to this film. Bay: Listen, I make my own movie, I don't have someone tell me what to do. I've always been inspired by Steven. I was not a Transformers fan before I signed on to this movie. I think I was two years older when the toys came out, so I just discovered girls then instead of Optimus Prime. I think he is trying to tell us something here.

  • June 21, 2007, 2 p.m. CST

    Thank You, Ricky Henderson...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    I am, however, a thirty year old man-child. If none of you have visited it yet...Google "UK" "TV" and "LINKS" and save yourself money in the long run. Here's my review of RENO 911: Miami....If you like the show, and sort of ignore the fact that none of this is scripted for the most part, and respect the types of actors who do that ad-lib stuff, this flick is a good ride. Definitely a rental, and you might want to own it if you're a completist for RENO 911. Also, the scene with the Rock nearly made me piss myself. The sex scene is just as good, and you will never think of watches in the same way again. At least, you won't wear a watch while fucking. Shit. The plot is simple, the RSD goes to Miami for a conference, and are excluded from the main festivities by the dickhead police that are already there. Think the very basic plot of Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise. Now, imagine what the guys from 'The State' would do if they wrote 'Nerds In Paradise'. There you go. You either think 'I'm gonna dip my balls in it!' is pretty fucking funny, or you don't. If you liked Wet Hot American Summer and MTV's The State, then you're pretty much wired to like this flick. 4 out of 5 for the former...if you don't like The State 3 out of 5. .....See? That's a simple review. I didn't have to talk about fucking the movie, or stroking my hog to the movie, but I did get a wee bit scatalogical when I said that I nearly pissed. Note that I didn't say I had to piss into my extra large barrel of Wild Cherry Pepsi, or stick a finger into my anus while I masturbated to the flick. I did now, but I didn't HAVE to. That's the difference. And on a final note: Bumblebee is an advanced technological creature according to Angelina Jolie's Dad. So, he's helping Shia eff this chick? That would be like me assisting my cat eff the pillows on the couch, right? Anyway. I plan on seeing this...not in a theater. But, definitely eventually catching this. Also, I'm going to see Live Free or Die Hard in the theater. Only that movie could give me the bravery to tackle that fucker from HR who stole my fucking chicken nuggets. Fucker.

  • June 21, 2007, 2:07 p.m. CST

    Re: Henderson and Aerosmithy...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Man, I know what you mean. That movie came out when my ex and I got divorced. We have a son together, and when that song came on I got a little misty too, but it was more for the end, where that dude that played the gay hit man in Punisher comes back to his wife and kid....I know, I got all weepy over a cliche'd disaster movie...sue me. But, Ricky, don't let the fuckers get you down, it's hard to admit we have emotions...that love can affect us in all kinds of ways. Armageddon was successful, and it did teach me a little about love...I LOVE the fact that it takes an asteroid the size of Texas to KILL DIE HARD! FUCK YEAH! Anyways, blah blah, Transformers, yadda yadda, flames on Prime, bleargh bleargh, Tomboy Beanp--oh, wait...what? We're not doing that one anymore? Gotta eat? Oh, it's fat kids bumping...yeah...okay. Whatever. See more movies.

  • June 21, 2007, 2:18 p.m. CST

    Review

    by DocMHumphrey

    Nothing like penial comparisons and erectile functions to describe films. I'm glad that 1 out 3 people that review on this site think that's how we all convey ourselves.<br> <br> I'm sure there's plenty of both genders as well as others that have other sexual orientations can enjoy films without "hard-on inducing" references. This is why people that are enthusiasts of 'geeky' material are pigeon-holed and stereo-typed into being sexual-deprived deviates.<br> <br> John Cleese and Eric Idle once said (this is not verbaitim) in an interview that you can only use the 'shock' factor once in a film or show and then it's done.<br> <br> So basically, don't tell the everyone on a site (especially when reviewing a film) that you want to 'jizz' on Megan Fox, no matter how attractive you think she is. I'd rather hear about the 'review' since that's what we're here for. Go write your juvenile smut somewhere else.<br> <br> Hell, over on the "Live Free or Die Hard" Review, the reviewer spend more time talking about some hot Asian guy and Kevin Smith's clothing than he does the movie.

  • June 21, 2007, 2:18 p.m. CST

    micturatingbenjamin

    by Jak0lantern01

    I guess you didn't read my response to Ricky's post, did you? :)

  • June 21, 2007, 2:22 p.m. CST

    You people are acting like this response wasnt expected

    by IndustryKiller!

    I certainly expected it. There is no amount of idiocy that can come out of the filmgoing, television watching, or music buying public that can surprise me. Nor does this same idiot public's enjoyment of a film at all justify it. What are some other things general audiences enjoy? Well they think Crash is a true examination of racism, they watch American idol and Dancing with the Stars, they made Fox News the #1 news network. There is absolutely no end to the propensity for crap. Of course people will come watch it and like it, like they do with every single awful Michael bay film or any single awful film that goes boom. Just look at the Star Wars Prequels, Spider-Man 3, X3, Fantastic FOur 1 and 2, and Ghost Rider. Transformers like the others will be defended at first and then as the hype tapers off people will come around, and those of us who are right will be ready to say I told you so. Popularity has absolutely nothing to do with the quality of anything. In fact popularity and quality are usually quite adverse to one another. Those of us against the film have made our points clear, backed up with examples from the film, and reasons why the source material is being bastardized. The apologists have done absolutely nothing but say "Its a giant robot film it doesn't have to be anything but robots fighting to be great." That is all the solace I need to know that I'm on the right side of this fight. Cheers.

  • June 21, 2007, 2:28 p.m. CST

    If ANYONE tried to high five me during a movie.......

    by Rantman

    I'd leave them hanging.

  • June 21, 2007, 2:32 p.m. CST

    wow

    by Staldo

    I think that fake review LamborghiniCountach..whatever his name is was engineered as the ultimate trigger of geek rage. Because, lets face it, geeks go to college all proud of themselves, and then they see that cunts just like that fictional reviewer made it in as well.

  • June 21, 2007, 2:33 p.m. CST

    The reasons The Rock is a classic

    by ScamsAndFlams

    1. nicholas cage. acting. 2. sean connery's accent applied to dialogue like "winners go home and fuck the prom queen" and "womack, you piece of SHIT!" 3. things blow up and look cool in between scenes of nicholas cage and sean connery acting with one another.

  • June 21, 2007, 2:35 p.m. CST

    I fully expect bedlam in the theater when I see TF

    by Ricky Henderson

    Chest bumping fatties alone will not suffice. I fully expect and am looking forward to supersoaker fights, uncontrollable flatulence, stray goats wandering around, explosive robot diarrhea, movie ushers in full riot gear, cat fucking, mass suicides in the theater, laser pointers, and some fat dude wearing an optimus prime helmet. If I do not see any of these things I will be sorely disappointed.

  • June 21, 2007, 2:36 p.m. CST

    hey lost.rules

    by Automaton Overlord

    The Rock had references to Led Zeppelin and the Beatles. Thats the only positive I can think of, like a single grain of gold dust in a pile of corpses and feces.

  • June 21, 2007, 2:39 p.m. CST

    Hey...My nards...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Will not be touched by any of youse guys. For real. And wow, I only got my 2nd Degree High School Diploma (AA in English). Sometimes, I wonder if the fraternal organizations, the Greek-themed brotherhoods in college are just a way for closeted homosexuals to work out their strange overly-hetero power fantasies on one another before being ushered into the corporate realm by their ne'er do well relatives. Or, is it just a bunch of guys who want to fucking hang out and be part of a group rather than be just another douche in the dorms with a guitar pretending to be 'underground'? I rushed SigEp and got in, even though I didn't actually attend the school where the chapter was located. Rush was the nicest week of my non-college life. Most frat guys I met were fucking cool, if insecure, about the wider world. Some were dicks, but then, I realized that joiners are a collection of all kinds of people. Service fraternities were actually filled with some of the most intolerant dillholes I'd ever met. They looked down their nose at just about everyone. Fuck, nothing was like Revenge of the Nerds...it was like movies lied to me or something. But the main point is...leave my balls alone, please. Thank you.

  • June 21, 2007, 2:42 p.m. CST

    hey ScamsAndFlams

    by Automaton Overlord

    while I disagree about Cage's acting(in the rock) I don't remember any dialogue that cool. I'll have to give that movie another chance.

  • June 21, 2007, 2:42 p.m. CST

    micturatingbenjamin: Optimus Prime was a DKE

    by Ricky Henderson

    True story. Did you know that?

  • June 21, 2007, 2:43 p.m. CST

    Why is it a real shame when we've read the script?

    by superninja

    Which is actually a legitimate basis for having an opinion about a movie. <p> No one has ever said others wouldn't love the film, either. <p> It's a matter of whether or not it's 1) a good movie (the script suggests otherwise), and 2) a good Transformers movie. It can be the former without being the latter.

  • June 21, 2007, 2:44 p.m. CST

    The Rock...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Uh, let me say this...I have never seen the Rock..but if one more of you assholes says that 'Ghost Rider' sucked, I'll...well..frankly, I can't do much from here. But I liked Ghost Rider, dammit...because Nic Cage, bless his heart, wanted to be a fucking superhero so bad, he didn't give a shit what hero or who was making it. I can respect that...I would have respected it more if the only superhero flick he got offered was Man-Bat or Werewolf by Night. That shit would have been off of the chain, out of the yard, across the street, and biting the throat out of the neighbor's kid! I still have to see the Rock...If it's anything like Con-Air, I might like it. Yeah, and fuck you guys right now for dissing me for liking Con Air...I like that flick. Funny shit happens, and that dude from Dangerous Liasons is a killer named Cyrus in it, so fuck y'all. That flick was fun!

  • June 21, 2007, 2:46 p.m. CST

    Ricky...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Now, you know they don't let Jews into DKE. ;) Kidding. Totally kidding. I don't think Prime's really Jewish.

  • June 21, 2007, 2:56 p.m. CST

    I think Nicolas Cage is a

    by Automaton Overlord

    I think Nicolas Cage is a great actor,......but, I just find him totaly unbelievabe in roles where he is supposed to be "bad-ass" or a scientist or someone really smart and important. I know perfectly well he IS smart in real life, but it just doesn't read on screen. Its kind of a catch 22 because most big budget movies have a protagonist of this type.------ Raising Arizona? Adaptation? Kiss of the Vampire? AWESOME.

  • June 21, 2007, 2:56 p.m. CST

    Weak defenses by haters

    by DocMHumphrey

    Yesterday, I went and watched half of the first season of G1 Transformers. Wow. I enjoyed it, but character development? Come on! Bumblebee, Optimus, Jazz, Starscream, Megatron, and Soundwave (counting lack of personality as a difference) are the only ones with any interesting character. The others are just all carbon copies of each other. <br><br>Dialog = Horrible.<br> <br>Story = O.K<br><br> People complaining that Rachet doesn't have any lines in the film; look at the facts:<br> First Epidose Pilot Rachet lines: 2<br> 2nd Episode Lines: 1<br> <br> Sit down and answer these questions and spell it out for us all (I brought this up on other talkbacks and no one responded):<br> 1. Would you like things like Prime's trailer just to disappear off-screen or their guns to fall out of the sky?<br><br> 2. Would you really want to see identical Ratchet/Ironhide? Do you want them to be mini-vans in an action flick?<br><br> 3. When was the last time you actually sat down and watched the animated film/series? That is cliche/terrible dialog, so that if you're complaining about the Bay Film's dialog that you haven't seen/heard, you have to be as stringent in comparing the series dialog to the film as you are about other facets that you drone over.<br> <br> In all honesty, you can't sit there and say 'source material batardized' until you have seen the film and still feel that way. If those main characters strike the same emotional chords with you and you walk away from it happy, then the film didn't 'bastardize' anything. If anything 'BeastWars' is more of a bastardization than this film could ever be.<br> <br> By far I'm not being an 'apologist' for anything, I haven't seen the film and why should I apologize for anyone involved for making the film. Why should they? A great example would be God apologizing for making Atheists. You have a choice to go to the film or not.

  • June 21, 2007, 2:57 p.m. CST

    Nicolas Cage was the Dominator....

    by micturatingbenjamin

    In Kiss of the Vampire...Cage for Morbius in SM4!!!

  • June 21, 2007, 2:58 p.m. CST

    Best film since... "Crank"?!

    by kikuchiyoboy

    OK. That scares the crap out of me. That movie sucked balls. I'd even go as far as saying Harry's balls. =)

  • June 21, 2007, 3:01 p.m. CST

    If this is the best film since Crank...

    by broken ring

    Can we expect Shia or Tyrese to fall out of a helicopter for 10 minutes?

  • June 21, 2007, 3:02 p.m. CST

    Doc...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Hear hear! Holy shit! G1 Transformers...here's a line from episode one: "We're at least 35 Megamiles from the base!" Megamiles. Fucking MEGA FUCKING MILES! Nothing in the goddamned cartoon was meant to be for grownups. Nothing. Not a thing. When you take a property that was at its core designed to sell toys by Hasbro and Takara (Oh, and haters of this movie, your precious G1 Transformers were some other fucking toy from Japan by Takara, and then were blended into all kinds of other shit...Fuck, Go Bots is more original than Transformers) (I am also writing my will for stating that opinion, because these fuckers are about to tear me to pieces.) I'm telling you that this movie has as much to do with Transformers as it can without being fucking more stupid than the source material. There, I said it. The toys were kickass and clever, but the show was not particularly well written, nor well plotted. What about that little fucking car that lives in Prime's ass? Is he in the movie?! What about Jazz?! Is he voiced by Scatman Crothers?! I need answers people !!

  • June 21, 2007, 3:06 p.m. CST

    Not every movie has to be "good"...

    by DarthCorleone

    ...or "tell a good story."<br><br>If that's not apologist, I don't know what the hell qualifies anymore. Movies are a narrative device. They tell stories by definition. The damn story better be good, which leads to the more general remark that a movie doesn't need to be "good." Do I even need to respond to that?<br><br>Look - there's enough decent buzz now that there's a chance I'll see this at the theater. But I swear if this thing sucks - as most of Michael Bay's films do - then it's the last time I give him the benefit of the doubt.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:08 p.m. CST

    haha, thanks for that jhpii

    by wash

    "George Lucas is pure genius, as for me, this film is the greatest film that I've seen yet." LOOOLLLSZZ. Oh man, I'd love to find that guy now and ask what he was smoking.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:10 p.m. CST

    Hardcore G1 Fan's Transformers...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Would have Ratchet's head be a fucking sticker. HAHAHAHA! I had Prime, the Pterodactyl Dinobot, and the black SUV and the Green Jeep. My folks bought them for me at Zayre's. Then, I got into pro wrestling and then I got these massive rubber wrestling figures that just basically stood there ands posed, unless you whipped them at someone. Or fished them out the bus window on a string and watched them bounce all over the damned place. Roddy Piper didn't bounce well, but George the Animal Steele and King Kong Bundy bounded all over the damned place! Ahh...those were the days. There should be a Hulk Hogan Rock And Wrestling Movie directed by Michael Bay...they could put all kinds of flames on Hogan's man-boobs covered in that orange leather that he calls skin! I'm off to write the script!

  • June 21, 2007, 3:11 p.m. CST

    DarthCorleone, yeah, I am waiting for someone

    by superninja

    to defend that one. Hey, you can like crap, but just admit it's crap.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:14 p.m. CST

    "..not for cunts or fairies..."

    by DirkD13"

    I'm in.<p>By the way, Michael Bay is not the greatest action director of all time, it's Kurosawa. Contemporary? well it'd be James Cameron (this is fact by the way people, so don't srugue).

  • June 21, 2007, 3:16 p.m. CST

    I hope you understand what i mean by "acting"

    by ScamsAndFlams

    when i say "nicholas cage acting" i hope you all know what i'm talking about. seen the new wicker man? yea, that acting.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:17 p.m. CST

    Superninja

    by micturatingbenjamin

    I like crap. This does look like mindless entertainment junkfood. And it is, after all a flick about giant robots from space. Wait, it's about fucking giant robots from space based on toys. So, if there's more to the story than: Giant Robots from Space come to Earth and Start Making With the Destruction, I'll be pleasantly surprised. If I get in there, and it's a fucking Merchant Ivory film with robots, I'll be unpleasantly surprised. It doesn't have to be Goethe to get my motor running in terms of Giant Space Robot Movies. I mean, at least its not one of the fifteen hundred Ultraman movies!

  • June 21, 2007, 3:17 p.m. CST

    Best film since Gigli!

    by kikuchiyoboy

    "Megamiles" Hee hee. That's some funny stuffy. Iloooved the cartoon but have it seen it since it aired. I've watched the movie countless times. Nothing beats the music que for Unicron... Mr. Orsen Wells. I bet he could have really eaten an entire planet in reality. Man did that guy balloon.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:19 p.m. CST

    stray goats wandering around

    by Jak0lantern01

    I definitely missed that in my "Fat Kids Thumping Chests" post. Possibly the funniest visual in that scene of popcorn flying, toilet paper tossing that I left out. Fucking goats wandering around the theatre. LOL!

  • June 21, 2007, 3:20 p.m. CST

    I agree that the cartoon is bad

    by Bryan

    I tried watching it not too long ago, and couldn't even get through a full episode. The movie (the old animated one) is more fun and has better animation, but is also full of ridiculous shit like the entire soundtrack and the part where the Autobots all dance.<p> But if they're going to make a Transformers movie I don't see any reason why they couldn't take the basic concepts and try to handle them more intelligently than the show did. Before Michael Bay was involved they said it was "one of the producers of X-Men" so I got my hopes up. I never liked X-Men either but they found a way to make a movie that appealed to non X-Men fans like me while also staying true to many of the core concepts and characters that the fans are obsessed with. That's what I was hoping for. I wish they had taken what works (warring alien robots crashland on earth, mistake vehicles for the native species and disguise themselves), ditched what might not translate (Megatron turns into a handgun, Soundwave shrinks into a radio) and tried to improve on the cartoon. And of course have some of the designs at least superficially resemble the old ones so that you can have a nostalgia factor. The issue for me is not that they didn't do a literal translation, it's that they seemed to have jettisoned everything because it was dumb and then replaced it with different things that are equally dumb.<p> And more importantly to me, the Transformers I remember liking as a kid was about robots. There were a couple of human characters, they wore construction helmets and nobody liked them. I would think that in the era where fantasy epics and pirates are the biggest blockbusters it would be considered okay to have a fantasy about robots, but I guess not. It has to be about hollow human characters who run away from robots.<p> Oh well. I'm certainly not devastated, but it seems like a missed opportunity to me.<p> p.s. And the idea that every robot has to have a mouth in order to convey emotion is an insult to the animators working on the movie. If they can't convey emotion through posture and movement, which is an animator's job, why not find better animators?

  • June 21, 2007, 3:20 p.m. CST

    Such a pity..

    by teh awesome

    I'm posting for the first time EVER. So many of us have forgotten what it feels like to be kids. We ALL, as Transformer fans, should be unified and excited about this movie. Something we've been wanting for a long time has been given to us, and a lot of effort has been put into it. We should trash after we've seen it, and I will be seeing it, I'll be there at the first midnight showing. I'm not expecting a deeply moving experience, and why would you expact that from a Transformers movie. No, I'll be attending the show as a kid again, I can't wait.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:21 p.m. CST

    Seriously, who cares about the MacGuffin?

    by DocMHumphrey

    Hitchcock himself said that the MacGuffin or storyline on paper could mean nothing at all, as long as the characters developed.<br> <br> How horrible could it be if we became emotionally involved with Bumblebee's relationship with Sam? Maybe Prime's leadership and strong beliefs can be conveyed to us emotionally? People like Superninja can read a script all day and comment on a film they've haven't seen, but if even one person in that theatre walks away with a connection to the characters is what is going to equal success with this film. That's what made countless movies with bad concepts/scripts/ideas work...Star Wars, Batman, Spider-man...etc. It was the fact that we wanted to be those characters or identified with them in some fashion.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:21 p.m. CST

    srugue??

    by DirkD13"

    WTF? I meant argue.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:22 p.m. CST

    Plants!

    by Big Dick

    There all fucking plants, every single one! It's impossible for TINO to be enjoyable. In the name of Jesus Christ, Optimus has flames! Damn you Michael Bay! You raped my childhood!

  • June 21, 2007, 3:22 p.m. CST

    Whoa...

    by teh awesome

    I need to mix in some grammar.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:28 p.m. CST

    Armageddon & Jurassic Park

    by mrdinky

    I can't believe people are seriously trying to compare Michael Bay to Steven Speilberg. I actually liked JP a lot, so I can't use that as a comparison. But I HATED AI and thought MINORITY REPORT was completely forgettable. Either one of those movies blows ARMAGEDDON out of the water at every level, from script, to camera work, to acting. (I love Bruce Willis, so it's not like I want the acting to suck). Bay is a rank amateur compared to Speilberg. It's insulting to even consider a comparison. It would be like comparing Michael Bay to Uwe Boll. Bay makes mediocre movies that could've been great. Boll makes the turds that line STV shelves all across the world.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:31 p.m. CST

    Whatever came of "MCMVIII"(not sure of his actual) dude

    by kikuchiyoboy

    Maybe he saw it and liked it. Maybe he just imploded.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:33 p.m. CST

    A Transcript

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Operator: 911 Hello? Me: Yes, hello, Operator...Uh...I don't know how to tell you this. I'm actually pretty embarrased. I'm calling to report a rape. Operator: A rape, sir? And where are you now? Me: Oh, at home, looking at the internet. And what appears to have happened is, that by painting flames on a giant robot truck, somehow Michael Bay managed to rape my childhood. Operator: Wait, what? He raped your what? Me: My...(sobbing) my whole childhood! HE brutally ripped my childhood's anus with his flames on Optimus Prime and his thumping modern music soundtrack!*wheeze* I mean, I don't understand it! Why would he be so cruel! Operator: Man. That sucks. You said Michael Bay did this? Didn't he direct Bad Boys II: The Embaddening? Me: Yes...That Michael Bay. But now, 'Shit just got real...' IN MY CHILDHOOD'S ANUS!! *uncontrollable weeping* Operator: Well, that sounds terrible, sir, but I must advise you that we can do NOTHING about you or your childhood's anus, even when it's been raped. Me: BRUTALLY RAPED! Operator: Yeah, 'brutally' raped. Anything else to report? A murder? Any REAL crimes? Me: Just the appalling grammar in these talk backs. Operator: Okay, sir, thanks for the call, please kindly fuck off now before I call the cops, and they take you to a place where your adulthood gets raped. ........THE END........(Or is it?) Dunh Dunh DUNH!

  • June 21, 2007, 3:33 p.m. CST

    Scarecrow in The Dark Knight

    by Colonel Activity

    http://www.superherohype.com/news/topnews.php?id=5895

  • June 21, 2007, 3:35 p.m. CST

    That Lambourghini guy really likes cock apparently.

    by a goonie

    He could barely get through a single thought without mentioning his dick and how erect he was. Oddly enough, despite that creepiness, it was a pretty entertaining read. I love the spastic attitude, but yeah, that's a lot of cock.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:37 p.m. CST

    micturatingbenjamin

    by superninja

    Fine, but there are plenty of examples of films that are both good (not Goethe) and entertaining without having to sacrifice quality.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:38 p.m. CST

    Don't despair now...

    by i pwn teh suk and i pwn it well

    I hear that on the DVD there is going to be an hour-and-a-half documentary called "Why I Put Flames On Optimus: The Reasoning Behind The Fire" in which Michael Bay kisses the feet of homeless men and explains how his creative decision to put flames on a toy robot echoes the teachings of Buddha and draws similarities between him and heroic Autobot leader Optimus Prime. Because we couldn't think for one moment that Bay put flames on Optimus simply because he liked them and they look cool now, can we?

  • June 21, 2007, 3:40 p.m. CST

    HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

    by lost.rules

    I love these Talkbacks. Michael Bay is an Assclown.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Lame Borghini *could* be Don Murphy...

    by Stalin vs Predator

    ...but he's not. He's just a sad, pathetic little thing. Which should end its miserable existence today.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:45 p.m. CST

    HAHAHA

    by misterWINKIE

    I have been coming to this site for a VERY long time....but ~rarely~ post...but I must admit these lines quoted from LamborghiniCountacheStill#1--- "I was like "I would jizz all over that!" and everybody agreed that I totally would." and "I saw at least five guys with goatees and an Autobot logo t-shirt and four with goatees and a Decepticon logo and one without a goatee." and "Optimus transformed himself in front of Shia in the alley everybody in the theater just started high fiving each other, even complete strangers." Man...where does AICN find these people.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:46 p.m. CST

    I fully expect bedlam in the theater when I see TF

    by finky089

    Ricky Henderson- that is a true vision of awesome absurdity. I wanna go to the movies in NYC with you, buddy. <p> Are you and Yack (and others?) still planning on getting bombed and seeing TINO?

  • June 21, 2007, 3:48 p.m. CST

    If You Haven't Seen This You Need To

    by MegaFormer

    Some pretty cool interviews with Michael Bay, Shia LeBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, and Tyrese Gibson. http://video.accesshollywood.com/player/?id=121488 http://video.accesshollywood.com/player/?id=120564 http://video.accesshollywood.com/player/?id=120565 http://video.accesshollywood.com/player/?id=25416

  • June 21, 2007, 3:50 p.m. CST

    Superninja

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Define quality. Superb acting? Brilliant cinematography? Set design? Script? I like Revenge of the Nerds. It was funny, and because it's so dated, it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it. I think that the Godfather was awesome, because the acting in it was great. It was a little doughy, but still an awesome movie. However, it's less an aperitif than a full course meal with all the trimmings. Which, my compadre, is why Thanksgiving is only once a year. I could sit down and watch 300 again this afternoon or Ghost Rider, or even Grindhouse (half of it anyway) and be cool with that, its like a sandwich and some Doritos...delicious, delicious Nacho Cheese Doritos.... But I would want to set aside time to appreciate a flick like Godfather or Usual Suspects or hell, even Casablanca...which has the very first Han Solo in it in the form of Humphrey Bogart against the damned dirty Nazis. What you said there, was that there are films that are both good and entertaining. Now I put it to you, are there films that are Bad and also entertaining, and in fact sacrificed quality? Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, The Stuff, Night of the Creeps, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, The Young Hyena...I could list a lot more movies that are bad...consistiently on every level, and still very much a source of entertainment: Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon, Short Circuit 2, Footloose, Fucking STREETS OF FIRE! (Sledge hammer duels FOREVER) The Legend of Billie Jean. See? When it comes to aesthetic, it's in the eye of the beholder, not some rigid rules on what's good or what's bad. What's good for you and me or you and no one else isn't going to be the same for people that share chromosomes with you much less perfect strangers on the interwebs. Anywhoo...there's my list of bad movies that are also entertaining...and I leave you with: Dolemite. Another shitty movie that never ceases to entertain me.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:54 p.m. CST

    Dolomite

    by DocMHumphrey

    What a fine flick. I used to watch him kicking the gun out the one guy's hand and throwing the other into the trunk anyday.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:57 p.m. CST

    LamborghiniCountacheStill#1 = Bay

    by superninja

    <>

  • June 21, 2007, 3:57 p.m. CST

    Crank

    by Fenton Meiks

    Is the worst film I've seen since Highlander 2, and I've seen Robot Jox and First Wives Club since then. Statham should be crucified. Literally. Looking forward to Transformers a great deal now. There has to be one quality summer flick, might as well be this. Certainly won't be Die Hard With A Shit Director.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:58 p.m. CST

    MacGuffins

    by Staldo

    MacGuffins are interchangeable objects meant to move the plot along. I hope I'm not spoiling too much by saying the allspark/energon cube actually transcends the status of a MacGuffin in that it serves a purpose. The thing causes electronic devices to "evolve". Under the direction of a superior intellect, it causes them to evolve into new transformers. If its power is without direction it results in the birth of mindless robotic monsters.(Wow, that could be a metaphor for SFX in movies) Hope I didn't spoil too much. To hear you talk, most of you won't even see the film. But MacGuffin is overused in thiscase.

  • June 21, 2007, 4 p.m. CST

    So, Megaformer, you don't work for AH do you?

    by finky089

    just giving them so free PR? <p> sorry but cynicism is a requirement around these parts.

  • June 21, 2007, 4 p.m. CST

    micturatingbenjamin

    by superninja

    I'm not really argueing against any of that, you know the movies are bad, that's what's funny about them. But do you think Bay is trying to make a deliberately bad movie?

  • June 21, 2007, 4:05 p.m. CST

    I love that apologists have to twist our arguments

    by IndustryKiller!

    Notice not one of them addresses the script in any fashion. Which has been our main complaint from the very start. Nope just more charges of pretention, which I'm assuming is due to their own self-conciousness about their own tastes. I love this new argument attacking the original cartoon and thereby, they assume at least, they are deconstructing our argument. It would be like attacking anyone who didn't like X3 by saying "Oh I suppose you are pissed because they didn't put DAZZLER in the movie, huh, HUH!!??" And if you are bitching about dialogue in a 1980's cartoon then you better be back here bitching about the dialogue in the film, which is not any better. Moral of the story is, quit making baseless attacks at us by way of assuming what we wanted this film to be and start defending the film itself if you want to be taken seriously.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:06 p.m. CST

    The Assumption that good movies..

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    Feature high quality acting, stories and scripts is completely destroyed by the existence and popularity of the first Star Wars movie. Everyone with the exception of Alec Guiness and Peter Cushing could have been replaced by cardboard cut outs which could have delivered their roles better. The script itself was pure baloney and it borrowed heavily from Hidden Fortress. It was pure cheese. Absolutely fan-fucking-tastic cheese but it wasn't in the same league as Casablance, Lawrence of Arabia or Apocalypse Now. Having a great, quality movie is not the same as having a cool movie.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:08 p.m. CST

    Flames on LamborghiniCuntachStill#1=Haterz @ TF opening

    by Lamerz

    That's right, biatches.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:10 p.m. CST

    Superninja

    by Colonel Activity

    Who cares about this shit-heep? THE SCARECROW IS IN THE DARK KNIGHT!!!! AICN scooped by The Colonel once again. THE SCARECROW IS BACK, N***A!

  • June 21, 2007, 4:11 p.m. CST

    TF Wars: Attack of the Apologists

    by Lamerz

    Fuckin nerds ...

  • June 21, 2007, 4:12 p.m. CST

    TF Wars: Revenge of the Haterz

    by Lamerz

    Fuckin bigger nerds ... Bay raped my TF love like GL raped my childhood!

  • June 21, 2007, 4:12 p.m. CST

    But micturatingbenjamin

    by IndustryKiller!

    At least you have the wherewithall to look at something that is bad and admit that it's bad but appreciate it on an ironic level. Many people simply don't have the brainpower to make that distinction. That's why they get mad when you criticize certain films. With that said Transformers didn't have to be one of those "Good but only on an ironic level" movies. My friend made a comment the other day, he said "I was walking by a Transformers poster today and I realized that I'm probably going to end up owning it on DVD. I'll put it right between my copies of Manos: Hands of Fate and The Man with the Screaming Brain." In other words it will be filtered into his lowest of B-movie sections. And he's right, that is exactly where it will belong. but it makes me sad because it could have been more than that. Do I think it could have been a brilliant dictum for the ages? no of course not. But certainly more than the Michael bay garbage we are getting. At least better than "so bad that its good"

  • June 21, 2007, 4:13 p.m. CST

    Fair argument regarding the cartoon

    by Jak0lantern01

    I have both seasons 1 and complete second season on DVD. Yes, there are some lame episodes like turning Spike into a TF(you think they can do that to Shia?) and the corny dialogue, but it's a cartoon. There are also some really kick ass episodes, like The Ultimate Doom (which would make a great movie, by the way). Heck, I was watching the 3 part Ultimate Doom and even my wife put the book she was reading down to watch saying that it was pretty good (coming from a woman, nonetheless). The point is, they should have capitalized on the iconic images and stronger points from both the cartoon and the comics to make this movie. There is some solid material there, and only Hollywood could drop the ball and screw it up, like with the designs. The Seekers and Skywarp are just too iconic in appearance. But saying that, I am looking very forward to this movie, and I'm sure it will be a great popcorn flick, the way it should be. Who knows, if it makes enough $$$, perhaps they can fix some of the designs for the sequel (they can shapeshift, you know). Maybe Skywarp and Thundercracker won't have chicken legs.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:14 p.m. CST

    TF Wars: Return of the Fuckin Normal People

    by Lamerz

    Maybe some people can just wait until it opens, go watch, and make up their own minds ... and not kill themselves if it is not instantly the best geek movie since Empire Strikes Back.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:15 p.m. CST

    The review from the junket

    by Aqua-Mega-Cock-Man

    That guy is a moron. He has brain damage. I had to stop reading his shit after the first paragraph. I read the rest and will continue to remain neutral until I see it next Thursday night.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:16 p.m. CST

    Bad vs. Intentionally Bad

    by micturatingbenjamin

    No. I don't think Bay or any of the people who sunk their dollars into something like C.H.O.M.P.S. are saying to themselves, 'hey let's make a shitty robot dog movie that MBM is going to laugh about at parties in twenty years' I think they thought the flick would be a fun kids movie, and a spectacle that people would want to see. Bay himself wouldn't come in here and say 'Transformers' = 'Bridge on the River Kwai' just because both have explosions. Bay would defend his creative vision of a disposable icon like the Transformers property and say 'I did it the best justice I possibly could given the source material'...this is why people make Bible flicks. Even when people hate them, the source is so compelling that people forgive the truly weird or scary versions of the stories or ridiculously applaud the awesome spectacles when it might not be totally deserved. Short answer, no, I don't think Bay intends to make bad films, he intends to make Bay films, and if you don't like Bay films, you won't (most likely) like this film. I liked Bad Boys II...I liked Armageddon and ID 4...that being said, I liked American Beauty...I didn't much care for Requiem of a Dream, and I really like anything David Lynch does, because he can take an old dude coming in and bringing someone a glass of warm milk the most surreal experience on television. But again, I'm just as happy watching 'Night of the Comet' or 'Class of 1999'. I was brought up by lower middle class parents, one a genius and the other a bit of a dummy. So, my right and left brains work together in a way that's different from yours or anyone else's...and your background may be fractionally different or different in orders of magnitude. All of this though, ultimately comes down to what your aesthetic is. It's hard to judge art that way, because it's visceral. And we bring as much of our own prejudices to it as it brings its own mediocrity to the table. I can't believe I'm this fucking chatty about a flick about ROBOTS FROM SPACE...but anyhow. I don't think any film maker intends for movies to be bad...except Uwe Boll..He's a douche. And the guy who made Troll 2. Fucker hurt me with movies. I didn't think that was possible.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:16 p.m. CST

    Theallseeingeye

    by IndustryKiller!

    You're dead wrong. No one disputes that Han Solo as portrayed by anyone but Harrison Ford wouldn't have been a classic character for the ages that he is. in fact I would say he trumps Cushing and Guiness, but since they are so commonly known as being brilliant classic actors they get all the credit. And if Fisher and Hamill are so replaceable try picturing them replaced by Portman and Christensens awful performances from the prequels. It would put a mightly different spin on things.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:17 p.m. CST

    finky089, you wanna chill wit Rickey and me?

    by Yack Backer

    Oh we are most certainly going to see this thing after a few cocktails. Seriously, let me know if you're down.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:18 p.m. CST

    PS

    by Aqua-Mega-Cock-Man

    FUCK YOU MICHAEL BAY! Even if I end up enjoying the movie that doesn't take away from the fact that YOU are a DICKBAG.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:19 p.m. CST

    Megatron's master Plan

    by Staldo

    Megatron's master plan would also be a good movie. Megatron is basically satan in that episode. One of the jet decepticons(don't remember which) is heard to say "Let us teach them a lesson in SORROW!" before a bunch of them swoop in and destroy a city, with people fleeing in terror. It also shows humans to be basically sheep, as they are misled into accepting the decepticons as good and banishing the autobots from Earth by an evil politician whom Megatron promised control of two cities.(he makes the guy a slave just like the rest of the humans in the autobots' absence, of course.)

  • June 21, 2007, 4:19 p.m. CST

    IndustryKiller!, it's probably also no coincidence that

    by finky089

    none of the "apologists" seem to have even read the script. Funny how they can try to make the "how can you criticize a movie you haven't seen" argument, but they can criticize a script (a shitty one) that they've never read.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:19 p.m. CST

    Baseless?

    by DocMHumphrey

    So right now you're standing on your Script soapbox. I haven't read the script. I haven't seen the movie. I'm not an apologist. My argument is this:<br> <br> If you feel this strongly about something you haven't seen or something that you will not see, then don't complain about it.< br> <br> If your entire opinion is based off the script that is based off a cartoon that touched on generalizations and archetypes fine.<br> <br> Which comes to the conclusion: Why all the hate for something you haven't seen and something that is based off of a cartoon that had a great premise, but poor execution?<br> <br> This movie has a great premise. What if robotic alien lifeforms, that can transform themselves into object as a disguise come to Earth and interact with humanity. Interesting.<br> <br> Also, if the movies sucks then I will complain too, I just haven't seen the movie and I will see it. I just don't want to sit on here and rant 'TINO' and look the part of the fool because you haven't seen the movie.<br> <br> Logic<br> Do you like vanilla ice cream?<br> Nope. I hate it.<br> Have you tried it?<br> Nope.<br> Then how do you know that you hate it?<br>

  • June 21, 2007, 4:19 p.m. CST

    Ford's Solo in A New Hope was some pretty good-bad

    by Jak0lantern01

    acting. It really was. Way over the top and the cheesey dialogue was delivered with more cheese. But he was way awesome. He was solid by Empire.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:20 p.m. CST

    correction, finky, ganymede loved the script

    by Yack Backer

    And that begs the question: Where is that fucking lunatic? Did the men in the white coats finally catch up with him?

  • June 21, 2007, 4:21 p.m. CST

    micturatingbenjamin

    by superninja

    In that case, I was hoping for something a little more Star Wars (OT, of course) and a little less Michael Bay. It's the same thing with superhero films, people always make excuses because of the medium of the source material, when there really is no excuse, it's just repackaged mythology. <p> Michael Bay may be good at making things explode, but he really is not a good storyteller, or great at creating memorable characters (in a good way, anyway).

  • June 21, 2007, 4:23 p.m. CST

    Yack, I'd love to but I'm 3000 miles away

    by finky089

    Thanks for the open arms invite, tho. <p> It was actually Ricky's compelling vision of theater chaos that so moved me to really wanting to be wherever I needed to be to see that. Seriously, I picture that scene from Airplane! with jello and boobs shaking and people assuming "crash positions". <p> Somethign else I'd also expect to see in a theater showing Michael PH Bay presents: Transformers is the old lady who sits next to Ted Striker and barfs herself into a skeleton from Airplane! 2 <p> I think that's enough Zucker referencing for now.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:23 p.m. CST

    DocMHumphrey

    by Yack Backer

    The script doesn't exist in a vacuum. The script is THAT bad. 90% of those that have read it agree. That's where our concern is based. Is that so unreasonable? It's the SCRIPT for crissake, not a casting decision that pisses us off.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:25 p.m. CST

    DocMHumphrey

    by superninja

    Why are you offering counterpoints about TF when you've never even read the script? Shouldn't you wait until it opens and pay $10 and discount everything you've seen, read and heard so you can see how the script turned out for yourself? Anyway, why do you care what we think?

  • June 21, 2007, 4:26 p.m. CST

    I've been wondering that Yack

    by finky089

    I even made a TINO shirt for him months ago on Zazzle. <p> I wonder if he, like Krack and others, got banned and since been re-handled. I should take a look back over this TB and see who's been extra-loving to the film. It could be him. Or perhaps he's already camped out in line for theater seating somewhere??

  • June 21, 2007, 4:27 p.m. CST

    Jell-O® boobs are fun!

    by Yack Backer

    Word up, finky-baby!

  • June 21, 2007, 4:27 p.m. CST

    Ricky, you stole my thunder for the description of

    by Jak0lantern01

    theatre chaos. DAMN YOU, RICKY HENDERSON! ;)

  • June 21, 2007, 4:27 p.m. CST

    Note for the All Seeing Eye...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    First, love your work on the back of the dollar. Kick ass. :) But on to my comment. Look, man, I get to say that the G1 Transformers shit was a lot of shit in a pretty package. I get to say that because it was true, and if that shit is the source material you're working from, then what are you going to expect with a modernized piece of crap? If I say that my parents were both black, chances are, I'm going to be black. If one of my parents were black and the other were white, the chances are changed as to what I would appear to be...Unless this movie removed every trite thing from the source material, and replaced it with a Michael Chabon/Mario Puzo written masterpiece, and the subject matter changed fundamentally...it would still be just as crappy as the source material. Also, I said in other talk backs that I don't judge a movie by a script, I judge a flick by what I saw. And then, according to my tastes, I will either see it again and recommend it, or I shrug and realize that I'll have to be more careful with my entertainment budget. If the script sucks, then what I'm going to watch is what George Lucas defined as his film talent: Creating Silent Movies with soundtracks. He said this about all of the Star Wars flicks, that you could watch them and know what the hell was going off with the sound turned down...(It kind of helped with the synopsis scrolling up at the header of the flick, but hey, he's George Lucas, and I'm an unpublished author)...This flick, is fireworks, plain and simple.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:27 p.m. CST

    Staldo, that would've made a great movie

    by superninja

    and very topical as well.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:28 p.m. CST

    I don't think he's back under a new TB name

    by Yack Backer

    He was so proud to be gany... and damn was he a fun guy to war with. I miss that crackhead.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:30 p.m. CST

    IndustryKiller

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    I'll concede Harrison Ford as being worthy of note but the difference was Harrison Ford actually had some ability to act; there's a reason why he went on to make huge blockbusters and Hamill and Fisher didn't really do anything ever again; aside from the cocaine i mean. That said, I remember reading a Lucas Biography that detailed how he hated every single one of Ford's comments about the original script; it's no secret that Ford actually ad-libbed alot of his lines. What was the saying again? "You can write this shit George, but you can't speak it"<br><br>Which leads me onto the script. Star Wars' script does read poorly. It's fucking woefully bad; at least when we read it now we have the ability to use the movie as our reference. Hand it to anyone who'd never heard of Star Wars, (yes, impossible i know), to be made to day and they'd be shown the door. I'll always maintain that even the worst of scripts can be stellar with the right cast. While Mr.TheBeef isn't reknowned for his roles, I am happy to read that his performance is fairly notable in the movie and thus, I believe he might make it work<br><Br>As for the prequels, there is no doubt in my mind that both Christiansen and Portman are capable actors. Lucas had the money this time round to bring in recognisable talent. I know for a fact that Ewan McGreggor can act his socks off. But the prequels suffered from Georges ego. He's completely unable to act and he's totally above listening to any constructive criticism. I'm sure if McGreggor had tried adlibbing his lines in Eps I, II & II he'd have been escorted off the set. In short Lucas is a total cock.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:31 p.m. CST

    What I want to know is...

    by ChickenDelicious

    When is Neill Cumpston going to review this film? :D

  • June 21, 2007, 4:32 p.m. CST

    So far (as usual on films like this...)

    by DocMHumphrey

    The scripts that have been on-line don't match and have inconsistences with the comic adaptation, the novelization, and any of the reviews on this site. I haven't seen the shooting script with dialog. I want to see the film and judge it after I have seen it. Period.<br> I just don't understand where the basis is for the intense hatred of something you haven't seen yet.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:33 p.m. CST

    I really think gany is camped out in line for TF

    by finky089

    like it's Episode I all over again. I mean, he was so adamantly nuts over it, I really think this film might have been like his ultimate experience. I just hope he didn't put on purple nikes, drink some purple Kool-aid and wait for the Haley Bopp comet to come around like a giant protoform Optimus Prime turd in the new movie, Michael PH Bay presents: Transformers.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:33 p.m. CST

    Col, re: Scarecrow in DK.

    by superninja

    Good news. I though Cillian was good in BB.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:33 p.m. CST

    Colonel Activity

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Thanks for the Batman news. Fantastic!

  • June 21, 2007, 4:34 p.m. CST

    I think Ganymeade wrote the third review

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Where did he go?

  • June 21, 2007, 4:34 p.m. CST

    Talkback Logic

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Talkback Logic Q: Do you like vanilla ice cream?<br> A: No I hate it. <br> Q: Have you ever tried it before? <br> A: Nope. But vanilla ice cream, I read that's the new one created by Jerry Bruckheimer...it's nothing like the original..."getting kicked in the nuts by a thousand milk cows". I swear the guy's raping my childhood. <br> Q: But...that's not ice cream. <br> A: That's what I'm saying! <br>

  • June 21, 2007, 4:35 p.m. CST

    micturatingbenjamin

    by JaySmack

    Are you listening to yourself? Of course Transformers didn't have the most sophisiticated dialogue. Neither did Speed Racer, but I imagine they won't give a script written for 7 year-olds. And I'm STILL waiting for someone to tell me what this movie is actualy about. In the review for Bordertown the reviewer told what the story was about. Every other movie review does. But with this film all we get is, "robots fight each other." And you expect me to pay 10 bucks to see that? Are you fucking nuts!?

  • June 21, 2007, 4:35 p.m. CST

    The scripts online match just fine. There are

    by superninja

    some leaked pages of the shooting script, there is not that much material to make it that confusing for you, nice try.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:36 p.m. CST

    that should say

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    *unable to direct....not act* duh..

  • June 21, 2007, 4:36 p.m. CST

    Well, "more than meets the eye" is not good dialogue

    by Yack Backer

    Not when its used multiple times in the TF script. Or when the sexy ex-NSA "genius" sasses the Secretary of Defense on his ugly tie. Or when Tyrese has to yell at a fat black woman in a pawn shop while a robot is killing people outside. The TF script is bad in many parts.<p> What's so bad about the original STAR WARS script? "Could someone get this walking carpet out of my way?" I think that's good-natured goofy banter. The TF script doesn't accomplish that-- at least on paper. Trust me, AllSeeingEye, if you read it, you'd se where these two scripts don't compare.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:37 p.m. CST

    ganymede's T-shirt

    by finky089

    I made it especially for his sake. But perhaps I should have picked a shirt style that had sleeves which tie together in the back. http://tinyurl.com/2y667k <p> Of course, there's always the standby TINO! shirt. <p> http://tinyurl.com/362bou

  • June 21, 2007, 4:37 p.m. CST

    Here's the link to some Scarecrow filming pics

    by Colonel Activity

    It looks like he's got a new gang. You can see the burlap sack and everything. Awesome!http://www.superherohype.com/news/topnews.php?id=5895

  • June 21, 2007, 4:39 p.m. CST

    finky, that gany shirt is hilarious!

    by Yack Backer

    I may just have to get one.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:41 p.m. CST

    Whats wrong with the Star Wars script?

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    THREEPIO <br>"I should have known better than to trust the logic of a half-sized thermocapsulary dehousing assister..."<br><br>You and I have the benefit of playing that scene back in our heads when we read that. It works because Daniels is a capable, and very camp, actor. Anyone who'd never seen the movie and read that 1 line would call it shit..instantly.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:42 p.m. CST

    thanks for the links, Colonel!

    by finky089

  • June 21, 2007, 4:43 p.m. CST

    Am I listening to myself!?

    by micturatingbenjamin

    It's my favorite fucking pastime! Holy shit! Are you paying attention to how many times I post?! It's clearly obvious that I love to listen to myself. :) A word on the subject of Speed Racer, however. That was actually a pretty sophisticated cartoon, translated from another language. There were characters, plots, and *gasp* sub-plots. In a cartoon. Transformers was designed by cynical Japanese guys who understood that American kids would buy a third-rate cartoon show about first rate toys allied with shitty corporate Americans at the height of their corporate shittiness writing for little mini-consumers. I have said what I know about this film: Big ass robots kicking the shit out of one another and causing serious collateral damage. Some are good and some are bad. Shia LeBouf owns one of them, and then the bad ones proceed to pwn everything else in sight. To see a giant fucking robot scorpion kick the shit out of tanks, jets, etc....AND to hear The OG Optimus' voice on the screen, fuck yeah, this movie gets my money...once. Repeat business? That depends on if it's any good. And if it's shitty, hey, I have legs, and a brain, and can leave the theater, and ask for a ticket to see something else...Nancy Drew, maybe. My fiancee said it was alright.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:43 p.m. CST

    I read the script

    by Staldo

    And I'm no "Apologist" I'm not apologizing for anything. I disagree with you. I could just as easily call the kneejerk dipshits "original series apologists" or "blocky robot apologists" or even "waaah, there's too much time in the script before the transformers show up and start fightin'" apologists. That is all. good things in the NON-FINAL script include: 1.The delayed revelation of the transformers. With a concept this insane, I think it is a good move to help people come to terms with it before yanking the curtain aside and revealing a bunch of fifty foot robots. Think the Matrix. It would have been so much cooler if the movie opened with Neo swallowing the red pill, wouldn't it. 2.The human interest. Your view of the dialogue is utterly, utterly subjective. Crash's dialogue wasn't that great,and that movie won an Oscar.You haven't heard the dialogue spoken, and you don't know what changes were made. 3.The robots. They seem like real characters, definitely not giant metal monsters, although they are capable of immense violence. They are admittedly short on dialogue, but in an interview with Roberto Orci from a few days ago he said they had him writing new robot dialogue until just a few weeks ago. http://www.iesb.net/index.php?option=com_ezine&task=read&page=1&category=2&article=2718 Finally, I saw this clip, along with others. Excuse me for getting excited. I just kept saying "What did his car do? WHAT DID HIS CAR DO? IT FUCKING TRANSFORMED! The script just doesn't seem that bad to me. http://www.iesb.net/components/com_xevidmegafx/Xe-VidMegaV2.swf?mymovie=http://www.iesb.net/newvideo/flash/tffc6_VP7_1Mbps_Stream.flv&infotext=Transformers%20Film%20Clip%206&stretch=0&automode=1&thumbsbg=0x7C7C7C&movieID=http://www.iesb.net&texton=1&scalefull=yes

  • June 21, 2007, 4:45 p.m. CST

    DocMHumphrey, you're confusing hate with disappointment

    by finky089

    I think mostof the "repeat" TBers here (the list is too long to call out everyone) are more DISAPPOINTED with the way this movie turned out. It's not blind hatred for it, so much as it is expressing disappointed sentiment about "what could have been" if the material was in more caring hands, instead of someone who's biggest care is 'splosions! <p>

  • June 21, 2007, 4:45 p.m. CST

    No integrity

    by DocMHumphrey

    Superninja - Because of the post you sent to me says everything wrong about Talkbackers like yourself.<br> <br> You generalized yourself 'we' as a group that makes up there mind on something they haven't even seen. The script is one piece of a film. The only thing I care about is people that fill the forums with nonsense and hate and act like their opinions are 'better' than everyone else's.<br> <br>Everytime Superninja and the 'we' that she mentioned posts anything here, you remind me of Jack Black's Character from 'High Fidelity'. You come across as elistest and that no one else's opinion matters.<br> <br> I'm not saying this as any kind of attack and I have been read AICN for a long time, and I know that I new to the talkbacks. I don't want to start any sort of flame war.<br> <br> At least most of your negativity and posts don't include male genitalia references.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:46 p.m. CST

    I also don't think Carrie Fisher and Mark Hammil

    by superninja

    are horrible actors. The dialogue is just like serials.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:50 p.m. CST

    link again

    by Staldo

    for some reason the previous one won't work. http://www.iesb.net/components/com_xevidmegafx/Xe-VidMegaV2.swf?mymovie=http://www.iesb.net/newvideo/flash/tffc7_VP6_1Mbps_Stream.flv&infotext=Transformers%20Film%20Clip%207&stretch=0&automode=1&thumbsbg=0x7C7C7C&movieID=http://www.iesb.net&texton=1&scalefull=yes

  • June 21, 2007, 4:51 p.m. CST

    DocMHumphrey

    by superninja

    You are commenting on our comments about a script you haven't even read. Where is your point other than to say you don't like the fact that I have one based on having read the script?

  • June 21, 2007, 4:52 p.m. CST

    A Test...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    I'm curious...for all the people who think this is going to be a kick ass movie, what's your favorite action flick? For all of you people who are 'disappointed' with this vision of the Transformers property...what's your favorite action flick? ALL time...only one. Just one flick to top your ladder of flicks.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:53 p.m. CST

    Staldo, most of your argument comes down to opinion

    by finky089

    You're not right or wrong. And if you feel that what you've seen is exciting, that's cool. Movies should be enjoyed, so if this is going to be an enjoyable experience for you, great. I wanted certain things for this movie that never came to frutition, and probably were never meant to despite Spielberg and Bay saying originally they were staying close to G1. I never expected it to be totally G1 and I think some of the changes that have been made to characters actually work okay. But the cheap way in which the story was "crafted" (I use that term loosely), the crappy dialogue, and most of those robot designs (I'm sorry but THEY ARE Giant Metal Mosters- Look at Megatron. Look at Bonecrusher. etc) just fell way short of my expectations. <p> But I'm not telling others not to see it. I'm not saying people who "like" the film, or think they will like it, are wrong. Just voicing why I don't feel excited for it the way I would have liked to feel.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:55 p.m. CST

    Raiders of the Lost Ark.

    by superninja

    <>

  • June 21, 2007, 4:55 p.m. CST

    micturatingbenjamin - fav action flick

    by finky089

    Of all-time: Raiders of the Lost Ark

  • June 21, 2007, 4:57 p.m. CST

    ARGUE NERDS!!!!

    by BadMrWonka

    argue for wonka...that's it...flames, bay, explosion, reviews....yes!!!

  • June 21, 2007, 4:57 p.m. CST

    my favorite action flick

    by Staldo

    First Blood, unless you admit animated flicks. Then, 1986 Transformers movie.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:59 p.m. CST

    on a side note:

    by BadMrWonka

    the LamborghiniCountacheStill#1 review is obviously a joke. no human would write things like that unless it was poking fun at people who write things SORT OF like that.<p> but I honestly can't imagine Mori would post that in any seriousness...I think he's just messing with us...

  • June 21, 2007, 5 p.m. CST

    After tallying the votes...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Fuck Transformers...Harrison Ford kicking Nazi ass rules, I'm staying home and watching 'Raiders'....'They call him Bellosh'....Fucking classic. I would have to agree with that. Constant action, plausibly fantastic McGuffin, and a fucking whip.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:01 p.m. CST

    Nothing beats that final scene in Saving Private Ryan.

    by kikuchiyoboy

    C'mon. That's an action movie with a wonderful story.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:01 p.m. CST

    Uuhhhh

    by AllieJamison

    Lamborghiniguy really made me wish for a good Neill Cumpston review.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:02 p.m. CST

    Great action movies

    by Yack Backer

    JAWS, ALIEN, RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, STAR WARS, THE FUGITIVE, JURASSIC PARK, DIE HARD, THE TERMINATOR, THE MATRIX, GOLDFINGER, CASINO ROYALE, SPEED, LOTR, BACK TO THE FUTURE, THE WILD BUNCH, GLADIATOR, THE INCREDIBLES, BRAVEHEART, THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY... to name a few.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:02 p.m. CST

    Missing the point

    by DocMHumphrey

    Yeah you've said you read the script. Point.<br> <br>Based upon this you have concluded you will not see the film, because you feel that it is inane and nothing can salvage it. Point<br> <br> What I am saying is this, you can go to a film and enjoy it for what it is, even though that this specific plot line has been done before, or it has a bad joke here or there, etc...I can agree with you on these points.<br> <br> In the end, I will go see the movie so that I can have a honest opinion of it, because, in the end, I have seen the movie.<br> <br> If you have not seen it, or choose not to see it, you can't really have any sort of opinion of it.<br> <br> You can however, share your opinion of the script all you want, because you have read the script.<br><br>I had a discussion once about who was the best James Bond. I said I liked Timothy Dalton, because he is closer to the Bond in the books, as well as I liked his delivery. The people that I happenned to be talking to said that he suckeed and was horrible. I then asked them if they had seen 'The Living Daylights". They all replied, 'no'. I said go rent it and watch the film. A couple of the guys later on ended up really enjoying it.<br> <br> That's my whole argument. You have to see the film in order to cut on it or praise it. I have neither said praise or hatred or disappointment of the film.<br><br>Personally, I like most of your comments and I find them interesting. I had several informative talkbacks with Regular and others.<br><br>It's just a shame to see so much garbage thrown around on here when we can't even get on decent review on this damn movie. (minus genitals or erections)

  • June 21, 2007, 5:03 p.m. CST

    Saving Private Ryan

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    The first guy who gets shot in the head when the ramps drop on the boats at the start of the film used to be my next door neighbour. That is all :S

  • June 21, 2007, 5:13 p.m. CST

    TOO SOON!!!

    by Pageiv

    The script won me over, flame on...

  • June 21, 2007, 5:16 p.m. CST

    Perhaps I will not have a point on the final product

    by superninja

    but implying that you cannot have a valid opinion given the amount of material available about this film is ridiculous.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:17 p.m. CST

    ok what the fuck?

    by sokitome

    Since when did people consider the movie "CRANK" good? Honestly that piece of shit was one of the worse movies i'v ever seen. I mean cmon if u guys like crank than I guess you don't need a movie to have a good story or make any logical sense (like when the gang appears out of thin air at the end of crank). P.S. Anyone else bothered by the fact megatron is only in 30 minutes of this movie according to reviewer 1.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:18 p.m. CST

    I would like to see a real review of this film as well.

    by superninja

    So far these reviews are a little thin on details. If the film is able to overcome the script I will be happy to admit this, I just have my doubts.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:19 p.m. CST

    Doc, can you give an example of the garbage

    by superninja

    thrown around?

  • June 21, 2007, 5:21 p.m. CST

    I'd like to see a real review

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    Which translates roughly as "I'll reserve judgment until I read a review that more reflects my own opinions of what this movie really is.<br><br>The second guy who posted a review on sideshows website seems credible enough; isnt that real enough for you?

  • June 21, 2007, 5:24 p.m. CST

    AllSeeiingEye, not really.

    by superninja

    It again doesn't have many details and praises the movie even when it complains about it.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:27 p.m. CST

    Megatron's 30 Minutes...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Is infinitesimal. If the movie is six and a half hours long. I think the movie's two hours...so that's like twenty five percent of the movie. There you go.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:27 p.m. CST

    reviews are fucking joke

    by sokitome

    if you're gonna put plant reviews in please don't insult our intelligence like that lamborghini guy's review. Jesus Fucking H Christ what a dumb fucking plant!

  • June 21, 2007, 5:28 p.m. CST

    Why is this movie still not rated?

    by superninja

    Because it's so loud?

  • June 21, 2007, 5:29 p.m. CST

    The best movie since. . .

    by Big Dick

    "Ultraviolet". I love the part where she kills the entire Japanese gang by dodging their bullets when they run up to shoot her and they shoot their gangmate instead. I love how the fight starts by a guy behind her blasting his leader in the face! Awesome!

  • June 21, 2007, 5:32 p.m. CST

    In other words

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    they don't complain about it enough. If the same reviews were flipped around and each review concentrated more on the negatives and only had afew positive things to say, I'm sure they'd be most satisfactory. But they don't, so naturally, they suck.<br><br>micturatingbenjamin - logic will get you nowhere here, but a fucking great point all the same.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:33 p.m. CST

    No, if someone just outright hated on it, I would

    by superninja

    be suspicious of that as well.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:33 p.m. CST

    infinitesimal?

    by sokitome

    you're kidding right...the main bad guy is only in 25% of the movie, so if starwars only had vader in the last 25% it's ok, or let's see, hans in die hard in only the last 25%, or belloq and the dude with glasses in raiders for only 25%...Jezus.. I guess u do deserve this flick.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:34 p.m. CST

    DocMHumphrey, I respect your points, but

    by finky089

    sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I wouldn't know because I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker. <p>Know what I mean?

  • June 21, 2007, 5:35 p.m. CST

    Or Darth Maul. . .

    by Big Dick

    Oh, never mind.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:36 p.m. CST

    Raiders- hell yeah

    by finky089

    Toht, I never would have guessed. <p> Superninja, your epicurean tastes for pop culture shine through once again.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:37 p.m. CST

    What I am looking for in a review is what I am always

    by superninja

    looking for and that is what is the film about - what it is communicating in terms of ideas, the characters - are they substantial why do you love or hate x or y, is the plot interesting - can you buy the overall premise, is it clever, etc., and the quality of filmmaking overall - is it shot in an interesting way, is the storytelling good. I could care less if it's a blockbuster or an arthouse film.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:38 p.m. CST

    Other Lessons I Learned From RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK

    by finky089

    6 kadan high is about 72 inches

  • June 21, 2007, 5:38 p.m. CST

    regularface

    by sokitome

    well said my friend, well said.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:39 p.m. CST

    RAIDERS Lesson #3

    by finky089

    You must take back 1 kadan to honor the Hebrew god whose Ark it is <p> And Toht, you made an excellent point up there.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:40 p.m. CST

    RAIDERS Lesson #4

    by finky089

    Asps...very dangerous

  • June 21, 2007, 5:41 p.m. CST

    RAIDERS Lesson #5

    by finky089

    Keep your eyes closed when the Ark is opened.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:41 p.m. CST

    Raiders's script also happens to be perfectly

    by superninja

    economical and totally awesome. :) I'm sure it's pure coincidence the movie is so good!

  • June 21, 2007, 5:43 p.m. CST

    What If This Movie Does Badly & GayBays Fans Freak?

    by JaySmack

    We've heard how these GayBay fans are "jizzing" all over themselves and "masturbating" over the trailers. Look at the ignorant legions Bay has unleashed on decent society. He's slipped subliminal signals in the movie that only someone with the I.Q. of a rotten turnip will respond to. And they're repsonding, aren't they? If this movie only does say, 30-40mil opening weekend I imagine there will be mass-suicides as the legions of GayBay FanBoys (AKA Bay ToyBoys) will stop jizzing and masturbating on each other and instead choke on their 5 gallon jugs of booty-lube. Those of us in the sane world who like good movies, and TF coincidentally, will merely have a good laugh as natural selection weeds out the retards. We'll simply bide our time until a good version of TF is made into a movie. Batman fans waited 50 years for Tim Burton to get it right, and 15 more for Chris Noaln to get the franchise back on track. I give it ten or so years until Bay's imminently forgettable schlock-fest is handed to someone with some sense.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:43 p.m. CST

    Quick Indy IV question for you folks

    by finky089

    Did you read a rumor a while back about an un-dead Abner Ravenwood possibly being in the new movie? <p> Not sure I like the sound of that retconning.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:44 p.m. CST

    if it's true

    by finky089

  • June 21, 2007, 5:44 p.m. CST

    AFI

    by sokitome

    when the AFI did their list last night I thought Raiders should of been at least top 20. IT's sad to say that bay will get my money becuz i will go see it unfortunately, cuz i refuse to see a pg13 die hard more than a bay transformers.(at least with transformers i wont' be able to compare it to any previous installments)...dam this summer sucks

  • June 21, 2007, 5:46 p.m. CST

    Toht what were some other lessons you learned from it?

    by finky089

    Perhaps that the sun hits the Map Room about 9 in the morning? <p> LOL, I love that "take back one kadam" line, too.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:46 p.m. CST

    WHAT THE FUCK?

    by kirttawesomio

    Three reasons not to see Transformers "I knew Shia was a very good comic actor, but I really did not know Michael Bay could have such a goofy sense of humor." "In fact, Megatron only appears in the last 30 mins or so." "I think it was wise of Michael Bay to spend such long time building up tension and just hanging out with Shia in school, showing us what a nerd he is, when he gets his new car,..." WHat THE fuCX?! After reading that I just gave up on the review and had to go piss myself for a few minutes. Now I'm writing my response. This fucker doesn't have a clue.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:49 p.m. CST

    Reviewer #3 is intentionally being ironic

    by DrDestructo

    You've all been had, and I can't believe you fell for it. "some of the humor and talking was temporary I assume because it was pretty terrible, I don't think they would release it like that" -- Classic!

  • June 21, 2007, 5:49 p.m. CST

    you know why it's better since Crank ?...

    by ludmir88

    because they have a better sex street scene : Optimus and Shia in the alley.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:53 p.m. CST

    JaySmack

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    You might as well ask "what if the pope steps down and sets up shop in a gay brothel in amsterdam?". That too is a pointless question since it'll never happen either. Anyone who thinks this movie WON'T make money is deluding themselves. Jesus, I think even the most venemous posters actually acknowledge that fact.

  • June 21, 2007, 5:55 p.m. CST

    Tightest Movie Ever?

    by Big Dick

    That's mighty bold claim don't you think?

  • June 21, 2007, 5:56 p.m. CST

    Indiana Jones Fans

    by Big Dick

    You guys are lucky. The director is producing this film!

  • June 21, 2007, 5:59 p.m. CST

    Raiders teachings. . .

    by Big Dick

    If you try to take the bling when you ain't ready then drop it like it's hot.

  • June 21, 2007, 6 p.m. CST

    Raiders of the Lost Ark - clearly the best action movie

    by Lamerz

    ... of all time. An absolute classic. "Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?" <P>Die Hard 1 ranks up there as well. Another classic. "No fucking shit, lady. Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?" "You ask for a miracle. I give you the F B I."

  • June 21, 2007, 6:02 p.m. CST

    Indeed....

    by Quintus_Arrius

    Aquatarkusman, Zarles, lost.rules, foree forehead, GurzEon, Montag666, JaySmack, jhpiii, ballyhoo, tile_mcgillus, zbobroberts, PwnedByStallone, Fenrisulfr, zbobroberts, Rat Fink, Yack Backer, Howling_Fantods, Stuntcock Mike, darrenspool, howaboutanicecupofgofuckyourself, RevSick, zilched, IndustryKiller, BringingSexyBack – you racist cunting cunt-digger, JaySmack and kirttawesomio – FUCK ALL OF YOU, YOU DUMB STRETCHED OUT CUNT FUCKING HERPES CARRYING FUCK-HEADS. <P> See you in line... <P> Oh wait, I’m British – you dumb Bush loving mutha-fukers!

  • June 21, 2007, 6:03 p.m. CST

    Don't wear heels while tomb raiding.

    by superninja

    <>

  • June 21, 2007, 6:04 p.m. CST

    Never trust a monkey.

    by superninja

    <>

  • June 21, 2007, 6:04 p.m. CST

    By the way...

    by Quintus_Arrius

    ... looks like TF is about to save the summer. Bay you fucked up coke snorting wanker - sounds like you may've pulled it of!

  • June 21, 2007, 6:06 p.m. CST

    Raiders of the Lost Ark Lessons:

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Never trust Alfred Molina. <br><br>Never trust the French<br><br>Never trust the Nazis<br><br>Mercedes makes a shitty hood ornament<br><br>Never bring a sword to a gun fight.<br><br>Indiana is a big baby when it comes to snakes<br><br>Karen Allen can sure drink, boy. And is still drinking to this day...Good God...did you see the interviews with her on the DVD? She has some kind of genetic distress...or she peeked at the Ark...damn.<br><br>John Rhys Davies is the finest British / Egyptian Actor in the history of the world<br><br>The Ark can burn a Nazi emblem off of it, but cannot simply explode the sub taking it to Nazi Whore Island<br><br> God is funny. God waits until the very last moment to unleash his wrath, and then...only when the bad guys think they're at their moment of triumph, does he unleash his heavenly anger<br><br> Actually, I learned that last one from the bible...There's more probably...Like, John Williams should have written the US National Anthem.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:06 p.m. CST

    Quintus_Arrius - wow, aren't you an idiot?

    by Lamerz

    Considering Bush's approval ratings are under 30%. If you are gonna rip Americans, try to do it a little better, you stupid Limey. <P>(and no, that's not an attack against all British)

  • June 21, 2007, 6:06 p.m. CST

    I thought. . .

    by Big Dick

    "Requiem for a Dream" was pretty tight and also "The Matrix" for an action movie sample.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:06 p.m. CST

    superninja

    by Quintus_Arrius

    You fucking ape... fuck off!

  • June 21, 2007, 6:07 p.m. CST

    But did it get any fat kid chest-bumping of approval?

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    Without that, the movie is dead to me.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:08 p.m. CST

    Lamerz

    by Quintus_Arrius

    You done fucking your cousin?

  • June 21, 2007, 6:10 p.m. CST

    DrDestructo, I agree with you, I'm sure he

    by superninja

    had a great time writing it.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:10 p.m. CST

    Quintus_Arrius - Oh, I see, that was a redneck joke!

    by Lamerz

    Wow, too clever. Sorry, you still lack wit.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:11 p.m. CST

    Citizen Kane is the tightest movie ever made

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    Lessons: Don't end up being a dick to people. Go sledding instead!

  • June 21, 2007, 6:11 p.m. CST

    Oh yeah...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    I also learned that you probably shouldn't pick up superheated metal in your bare hand, no matter how vaguely German/Japanese you are.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:12 p.m. CST

    Spielberg/Lucas

    by Big Dick

    I think Spielberg still has it. As long as Lucas doesn't have total power over something then he's still good.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:13 p.m. CST

    Citizen Kane

    by Big Dick

    most overated movie of all time

  • June 21, 2007, 6:14 p.m. CST

    Lamborghinicountach

    by Happyfat73

    Dude.. I could see what you were trying so desperately to do. You thought you were being ironic and clever, and the review probably took you days to write. You just didn't quite make it.</p> Keep working on it little buddy, until then, leave the humourous irony to Neill Cumpston, he's a helluva lot better at it than you.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:14 p.m. CST

    Wait, weren't we ripping this space robots...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    a new asshole? What happened, we're no longer in the Trust Tree? I don't...what...I like movies. This one will RULX0RxXZ. There. TalkBack on Track...BayGays...Rooooolll out.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:15 p.m. CST

    Lamerz

    by Quintus_Arrius

    ... you're not a redneck???? Well excuse me!

  • June 21, 2007, 6:15 p.m. CST

    Lamerz

    by Quintus_Arrius

    ... so did she like it?

  • June 21, 2007, 6:16 p.m. CST

    Sad Fuckers

    by barnaby jones

    All you haters do is piss and moan, if it's not TF, it's Die hard 4 ! NEWS FLASH - If the rest of us don't like something, we just ignore it and MOVE ON ! Jeez, get a life.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:18 p.m. CST

    READ THSI REVIEW FOR PHANTIM MEANCE.. sound familiar...

    by jhpiii

    http://tinyurl.com/3y9zwb ....Same crap reviews posted...Jar is great, Jake Loyd is great, Natile Portman is great, but what happens months later.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:19 p.m. CST

    lol - great "teachings" Toht

    by finky089

    Sorry, I got a call (yeah, I'm still at work for another hour and a half) <p> "Sometimes you wish you spoke Hovitos" - it should be on an Indy Anniversary one-sheet poster.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:21 p.m. CST

    Hating on haters = having a life? Ha ha.

    by superninja

    <>

  • June 21, 2007, 6:22 p.m. CST

    Quintus_Arrius - you are the motherfuckers with the

    by Lamerz

    royal inbreeding. You all started that shit a long time ago. Shit, if a king wasn't doinking his kid, then he was marrying his cousin.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:23 p.m. CST

    Who cares if people don't like it. There aren't any

    by superninja

    laws (yet) that we are required to agree with you on everything.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:24 p.m. CST

    superninja

    by Quintus_Arrius

    Fuck me.... you still here?

  • June 21, 2007, 6:25 p.m. CST

    Yes, robert. I am.

    by superninja

    <>

  • June 21, 2007, 6:25 p.m. CST

    i felt compelled to say something...

    by barnaby jones

    it seems to be the same thing everyday round here at the moment. Consider me gone.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:26 p.m. CST

    Lamerz...

    by Quintus_Arrius

    ... glad to see you're carrying on the tradition - dumb fuck.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:26 p.m. CST

    Lamerz...

    by Quintus_Arrius

    ... glad to see you're carrying on the tradition - you dumb fuck.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:27 p.m. CST

    had to say that twice

    by Quintus_Arrius

    just in case..

  • June 21, 2007, 6:27 p.m. CST

    OK I haven't read the Talkbacks

    by Phategod2

    I stopped reading the second one when douche bag started going on about his tribal Tatoo I figured 1 of 2 thing is going on here Either Niel Cumpston is writing all of those reviews or There are too many Idiots with Computers, Tickets to see Transformer screenings I mean, What the F does Bay's Street team do look for the Dumbest Mofo coming out of theaters to give free tickets to, These are some of the Dumbest Sumummabitches I've ever read.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:30 p.m. CST

    The Rock was undeniably silly

    by the_pissboy1

    Bad writing, bad actors and bad, bad action direction. Bay should be hung simply for playing a part in the monkey-cam bullshit chase scene involving the lumbering POS Hummer and the Ferrari. The idea of an old fuck like connery swimming through the bay...lol.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:34 p.m. CST

    Quintus_Arrius - Just cuz your dad is also your

    by Lamerz

    grandfather doesn't mean everyone else does that shit. <P> You are still a fucking retard with lame ass jokes.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:36 p.m. CST

    oh shit...

    by Quintus_Arrius

    ... that makes us family dude. I'm gonna go kill myself...

  • June 21, 2007, 6:37 p.m. CST

    Lamborghinicountach - I went back and read your review

    by the_pissboy1

    Yeah, I stopped reading it because it came off as too much like the fanboy (read normal AICN) reviews I see here. Further in you do go so apeshit you must have been playing with the style of the Head Geek and his legion of sycophants. My apologies. All the poorly written reviews on AICN have made me rather cynical about the web and film reviews. Sorry...

  • June 21, 2007, 6:37 p.m. CST

    i mean..

    by Quintus_Arrius

    ... how else would you know? Cunt.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:40 p.m. CST

    Let's Hear It For The "Stupid Movie!", A Transcript

    by JaySmack

    Statement made by a Bay-zombie waiting to see a sneak preview of Transformers. "Hi Mr Bay. I want to see a stupid movie this weekend. Not just stupid, but braindead. The more stupid the better. I want something so retarded it makes Dumb & Dumber look like Citizen Kane by comparison. Give me lots of explosions, lousy acting, shitty dialogue and jokes cornier than a Leave It to beaver All-Day Marathon. Just dump tons of Special effects and explosions on this shit and I'll eat it up. Pssst! I got a bunch of othre friends who have the same request. They're the ones over in the corner drooling on themselves and jizzing on the walls. Don't stare." Behold, the unvarnished genius of the fuckheads who are "eagerly anticipating" a movie that even they know nothing about. These morons who declare their LOVE of "stupid movies." When people talk about the "Dumbing Down of American: it's not just a slogan, it's a FACT!

  • June 21, 2007, 6:42 p.m. CST

    Quintus_Arrius - That's great how you had to follow up

    by Lamerz

    with another post to get your point across since it apparently wasn't clear in the first one. It's like: "Haha, get it? Let me explain the puchline. Get it?? GET IT??? HAR HAR HAR" <P>Idiot.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:42 p.m. CST

    Lamerz, Im off to beed now...

    by Quintus_Arrius

    .. and i'm gonna dream of you momma give me a cushioned blow-job with her toothless grin. Nighty-night.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:44 p.m. CST

    Still Waiting For Those "Balanced" Reviews

    by JaySmack

    Oh, and by the way, are we ever going to get those "balanced" reviews Moriarty mentioned? They sure seem to be a long time in coming.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:48 p.m. CST

    Now Accepting Reviews For Transformers

    by JaySmack

    Now Accepting Reviews for Transformers. Only those who LOVE Michael Bay and hate good stories need apply.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:48 p.m. CST

    WHERE'S NEILL CUMPSTON??????

    by Johnno

    TELL HIM TO GET HIS LAZY ASS OVER TO A SCREENING AND REVIEW THIS FLICK!!!!

  • June 21, 2007, 6:48 p.m. CST

    Quintus_Arrius - thanks for leaving another stupid,

    by Lamerz

    tired joke before you take off. Glad to know that everything is still right in the world.<P>Pssst, here's a hint ... most Americans are not happy with the sellout President Bush, dumbass.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:51 p.m. CST

    Don't worry Lamerz..

    by Quintus_Arrius

    .. jus had a few tonight is all. No hard feelings my dear yanky cousin... <p> Fear not my dear friend, we think Bush is a wanker too... <P> O SAY, CAN YOU SEEEEE, BY THE DAWNS EARLY LIIIGGGHHHT.....

  • June 21, 2007, 7:27 p.m. CST

    one word: THE ROBOTS PUNCHING EACH OTHER IS AWESOME!!!!

    by Phategod2

    Thats wher I stopped again this is THE dumbest review of all time. This has got to be Niell's Sarcstic wit.

  • June 21, 2007, 7:33 p.m. CST

    Neil Cumston is the new Beatles.

    by superninja

    Everybody wants Neil!

  • June 21, 2007, 7:36 p.m. CST

    Phategod2

    by ScamsAndFlams

    That line is where I stopped and said this is the BEST review of all time. Then I read the rest of it, which was equally hysterical. I fucking LOVE LAMBORGHINICUNTHATCH#48. Seriously once you get over yourself and realize the review is humorous, you'll see the comedy gold.

  • June 21, 2007, 7:41 p.m. CST

    Download & Save New TV Spot!

    by wadi77

    http://tinyurl.com/2yb3m3

  • June 21, 2007, 7:49 p.m. CST

    yeah Humerous in a "Dumb-as-abag-of shit-covered-rocks-

    by Phategod2

    bashed-over-the-head-of-baby-monkeys" type of way.

  • June 21, 2007, 7:49 p.m. CST

    Mountain Dew + Transformers

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Anyone seen the toaster TINO?

  • June 21, 2007, 7:50 p.m. CST

    VARIETY REVIEW

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Dig.<P> http://tinyurl.com/2e7xjw

  • June 21, 2007, 7:55 p.m. CST

    GET IN LINE NOW FOR PUSSY ON OPTIMUS!!!

    by PUSSY ON OPTIMUS

    Is it me, or are the apologists getting more agitated as opening day nears?

  • June 21, 2007, 7:59 p.m. CST

    Hey Pussy

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Actually, I think it's the other way around.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:04 p.m. CST

    It's you. . .

    by Big Dick

    and your mom.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:08 p.m. CST

    Mr. Nice Gaius

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Thanks for that review link. Love the final thoughts. <P> No wonder Bay needed a team of editors, who succeed in making the fight sequences exciting spectacles, though toward the end they all tend to become just a mess of flying wreckage and random explosions -- the outcome is always predictable, if the movements themselves remain unexpected. Sound is cranked up to mega-decibels; if the action doesn't generate stomach tremors, the bass lines will. Overly grand music used halfway through, during Bumblebee's subjugation scene, seems to confuse it with the pic's climax.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:11 p.m. CST

    HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Did you catch my post in the other TFer thread? (I see that one has drifted off the board in favor of this one - shocker.)

  • June 21, 2007, 8:14 p.m. CST

    ScamsAndFlams

    by Happyfat73

    Correction: The review WANTS to be humorous. This guy wants to be Neill Cumpston, but lacks the comedic chops for it. </p> I give him an "A" for effort and a "D" for execution.</p> Sorry, but there was a yawning chasm between his intent and the final result. Now bring on the REAL Neill Cumpston review.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:16 p.m. CST

    YackBacker

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Variety is always one of the more obtuse and difficult sells in the biz. The bold stuff tends to be their bottom line. Not bad.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:17 p.m. CST

    Variety Review

    by Big Dick

    Jay Weissberg is a plant!

  • June 21, 2007, 8:18 p.m. CST

    I guess this is aimed at the haters...

    by Monty 16

    Variety: Adult dweebs still enthralled by the figurines' facile mythology have flooded the Web with complaints that the franchise has been tampered with to form a (relatively) cohesive plot, but most viewers either won't notice or won't care. At the center of the tale is Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), an average 11th grader psyched about getting his first car -- a mysterious, beat-up yellow Camaro that lot owner Bobby Bolivia (Bernie Mac, in a brief role) has never seen before.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:28 p.m. CST

    Mr. Nice Gaius

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Which post in the last TF TB ? Your response to me (today at 12:26:00 AM) or another one? I still have it up as a matter of fact.... <P> This really has been crazy, hasn't it? All these diatribes over a children's movie? I'm more than guilty myself, but wow if this film hasn't sparked quite a few heated discussions. <P> I began visiting this site long after the SW prequels had come and gone. Was it just as crazy or moreso?

  • June 21, 2007, 8:38 p.m. CST

    Thanks Yack

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    I'll just stand behind you and nod my head since I couldn't dream of posting something that well put/written. Be well.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:39 p.m. CST

    HWCBN

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Yeah, I think that was the one (Old Pulteney). It was a little late when I posted so I wasn't sure you even saw it.<P>And yes, this TRANSFORMERS business is bordering on insanity. I can't really recall when I've seen something so divisive on AICN.<P>It reminds me of...when I won't mention him. Heh.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:39 p.m. CST

    That should read "well I won't"...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...Geez.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:41 p.m. CST

    FUCK'n LOOOOSSER

    by Lord Soth

    LamborghiniCountacheStill#1 you're a fuck'n loser, I thought you were going to spare us the info on how many times you jacked off, or what you had for breakfast... fuck face! We don't need details on how you stroked it through your popcorn bag, or how many cock sucking goatees you were eyeing in line. Retard! You sure that butter on your popcorn wasn't your frat boys' cum offerings? Faggot! Looks like you need to take a break from fucking you frat boys hairy asses and get yourself some real pussy...Goddamn every 12 year old and their cock sucking cousin is a film critic now...

  • June 21, 2007, 8:46 p.m. CST

    Thanks, Lamborg. I wasn't sure who Spielberg was.

    by Bronx Cheer

    Having "Schindler's List" follow his name in parentheses helped me recall who the fella was. And best movie since "Crank?" You're not a plant, but you sure are laying down some jive.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:48 p.m. CST

    My script for the fans

    by Big Dick

    (Bumblebee) Hey Spike. What are you doing? (Spike) I wanted to get Sparkplug a gift for his birthday. (Bumblebee) Lets go to the energon mines. There's all kinds of cool stuff there. (Spike) Yeh! Soundwave is on a mountain and ejects Lazorbeak. (Soundwave) Lazorbeak eject! Mission, infiltration! Lazorbeak follows Bumblebee and Spike. They get to the energy mines. (Spike) Look! A cool rock! (Bumblebee) That would be perfect for Sparkplug. Lazorbeak is behind them and causes a rockslide and traps Bumblebee and Spike. Soundwave is back at Decepticon headquarters and is talking to Megatron. (Soundwave) Megatron, Lazorbeak found the secret Energon mine. (Megatron) Attack! Back at Autobot headquarters. (Ironhide) Prime! We got a distress signal coming from the secret energon mine! (Optimus Prime) Autobots, roll out! Autobots meet Decepticons right before they get in the entrance for the secret energon mine. Autobots and Decepticons fight. Autobots win and rescue Bumblebee and Spike. Back at Autobot headquarters. (Spike) Sorry I couldn't get you anything for your birthday. (Sparkplug) It's OK. It's the thought that counts. (Bumblebee) Next time lets just go to the store. This gift put us between a rock and a hard place. (End Credits) Happy now!

  • June 21, 2007, 8:49 p.m. CST

    Mr. Nice Gaius

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Yeah bro' I read it. Appreciate the sentiment.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:51 p.m. CST

    Irony, thy name is Lord Soth

    by Happyfat73

    At least lamborghinicountach was trying to be ironic.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:52 p.m. CST

    YackBacker...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...no apology would be necessary, dude. I agree with HWCBN = well said.<P>I have to say though that nostalgia can be the deathknell for many an endeavor. And I find it strange what people appear to have taken from the G1 show. It's not always the same thing(s).<P>That being said, if sequels are made, I too feel that the bots should come more to the forefront. And I do think that would be a given after the first installment/introductory chapter.<P>The key factors being that the robots will have already been introduced, we'll have seen the human viewpoint of their arrival, we'll know the setting, and most importantly...<P>...this is CRUCIAL...<P>the sequel budget will be HUGE. Bots 24/7, baby!

  • June 21, 2007, 10:04 p.m. CST

    Yeah, BSB.

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Are you seeing this or what?

  • June 21, 2007, 10:05 p.m. CST

    Dusty is a goddess...

    by obi-bear

    Loved her review...not over the top, but still says it's a fun time at the flicks. Lookin' forward to it...

  • June 21, 2007, 10:06 p.m. CST

    THE CARTOON HAD A BETTER PLOT

    by Screentime

    http://tinyurl.com/2kb39t

  • June 21, 2007, 10:11 p.m. CST

    ganymede2010 is gone

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    or is he? That screen name has been banned, but I have an idea who he may be now.... Is he this crazy about everything, or just TINO?

  • June 21, 2007, 10:47 p.m. CST

    ghost rider

    by El Borak

    i am the biggest gr fan of all time and i finally saw it. HOLY LORD WAS IT AWFUL!!!! MARK STEVEN JOHNSON (OR WHATEVER THE FUCK HIS NAME IS) SHOULD NEVER MAKE ANOTHER MOVIE... EVER!!!!!!!!! i felt like i was watching my grandma get raped. gr deserved so much more respect than that! MSJ IS GREEN SHIT!!!

  • June 21, 2007, 10:56 p.m. CST

    any link to the script?

    by El Borak

    thx ahead of time.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:01 p.m. CST

    I want Cumpston's review...

    by Boober

    He'll cut through the skewed perceptions of hater and fanboy alike...like a burcher in a slaughterhouse. Beef, it's what's for dinner...

  • June 21, 2007, 11:02 p.m. CST

    Variety review

    by superninja

    So they just reinforced what we've been saying all along. I like how they take a swipe at the internet fans and call the source material facile, but yet can't bring themselves to say the same about this movie. The reviewer seems rather bored with the whole thing.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:07 p.m. CST

    Thanks for posting it anyway, MNG.

    by superninja

    <>

  • June 21, 2007, 11:10 p.m. CST

    What I expected.

    by lost.rules

    ID4 fun. Sure, you like it the first time you watch it. Then, after repeat viewings you realize how stupid it is. Although, Variety is positive about most of their reviews. Oh,well. Get in line for the Michael Bay suckfest this summer. I'll be there too.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:10 p.m. CST

    I guess it's possible. I think the whole Variety

    by superninja

    review was extremely condescending, like they were holding their nose while reviewing it. I can't stand people that think being in the cartoon or comic book medium means the source material is stupid or facile. Your average WB show is 100x more facile.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:14 p.m. CST

    thanks yack

    by El Borak

    i'm reading halloween right now. it wouldn't be that bad if it were a stand alone film about a different guy and not mike myers. oh well, it's already made.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:18 p.m. CST

    Well no wonder he only reviews Indie movies

    by superninja

    and was hired to review Italian films. Why did they have him review a Bay film?

  • June 21, 2007, 11:36 p.m. CST

    all the crap that's come out this summer...

    by kirttawesomio

    ...should form into one giant colossal piece of crap and become the most expensive crappy film ever made. Kinda like the Construct-o-cons made Devastator.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:40 p.m. CST

    where are the haters now?

    by ominus

    where are the haters now? ahahahaha damn i cant wait for the movie.come on come on

  • June 21, 2007, 11:41 p.m. CST

    where are the haters now?

    by ominus

    where are the haters now? ahahahaha damn i cant wait for the movie.come on come on

  • June 21, 2007, 11:57 p.m. CST

    where are the haters now?

    by ominus

    where are the haters now? ahahahaha damn i cant wait for the movie.come on come on

  • June 21, 2007, 11:58 p.m. CST

    where are the haters now?

    by ominus

    where are the haters now? ahahahaha damn i cant wait for the movie.come on come on

  • June 21, 2007, 11:59 p.m. CST

    where are the haters now?

    by ominus

    where are the haters now? ahahahaha damn i cant wait for the movie.come on come on

  • June 22, 2007, 12:08 a.m. CST

    I can't wait for it either, heh heh.

    by superninja

    <>

  • June 22, 2007, 12:27 a.m. CST

    Just got back from work and just read the book...

    by RevSick

    ....review will follow, this is gonna get technical.

  • June 22, 2007, 12:28 a.m. CST

    So superninja....

    by RevSick

    ...if you could compare my notes with the script to gauge for similarities between the "early, so early everything has changed" script and the book that would be much appreciated

  • June 22, 2007, 12:32 a.m. CST

    and oh yes.....

    by RevSick

    ...there will be spoilers

  • June 22, 2007, 12:39 a.m. CST

    100x more facile?

    by Colonel Activity

    I'd say puerile, but that's just me. Saying things like that gives me a rictus grin, yes yes?

  • June 22, 2007, 12:58 a.m. CST

    Rev, that script wasn't "so early everything changed"

    by IndustryKiller!

    Nothing whatsoever suggests that. In fact just about everything suggests the opposite. I have no idea where you are getting the "everything changed" bit. So much for wishful thinking.

  • June 22, 2007, 1:02 a.m. CST

    I finished Mr. Lamborghinicountach's review

    by Phategod1

    Just a few comments: Please for the love of God tel me this guy is making a statement I can't be lieve anyone is that big a douche. <par>2: I have not read a single review that made me want to see this move or make me think its anything more the teenage explosion porn

  • June 22, 2007, 1:12 a.m. CST

    SPOILER! Book Review Part ONE! SPOILER!

    by RevSick

    So we start the book with a bit about the Allspark coming to earth, nothing to major here but a decent start. This leads into an expedition in 1897 by a Captain Witwicky, yes that's right, Sam's great-great grandfather, and guess what he finds, Megatron. Yes that's right as coincidence would have it Sam's the great-great grandson of the man who discovered Megatron frozen in ice. Right here you're already asking me to suspend an awful lot of belief with this but oh well it's not bad but it's certainly cheap.? <p> This leads to the inital attack by Blackout, now this had me pleasantly surprised, however, it lasts a scant three pages and is pretty much everything you've seen on tv, a little bit with Frenzy but that's about it for what you haven't seen yet. This also gets us our first glimpse of the Sector Seven business, which is just a brief bit on a screen nothing major. I get what they're trying to do, the whole secret government agency thing, got it, it was good for a few seasons of the X-Files but other than that it's just kind of hokey, I mean it certainly didn't help Alone in the Dark when they used the same plot device hell I believe Uwe's was Section 713 maybe they know each other. You get a couple of glimpses of a robot other than Frenzy but not much you also get a little of Skorponok eyeing his prey a little, but not much. <p> After this we get into Sam's story. I don't know where to begin on how completely bad this whole arc is, I mean the sector seven crap is pretty bad but this is just sloppy and plagaristic of a dozen other films. His whole introduction consists of him in class staring longingly at Mikela who is seated next to her current boy friend, cue stereotypical muscle headed football jock, yup that's the direction they went with it. Oh it gets better, he's snapped out of it to make a presentation about his great-great-grandfather, and during this the jock gives him shit, which gives the writers the opportunity to throw in the hot chick defending the dork against the jock boyfriend routine. It's at this point I want to huck the thing across the sales floor, but I soldier on. Sam gives his presentation and surprise surprise is held after to have a talk with the teacher about his lackluster presentation that leads to him begging the teacher to give him an A cause that's the only way he's going to get his car. I mean really this is what they came up with? I mean really now, they couldn't have come up with something a little different from every other teen movie ever made. <p> So this gets us into the car lot scene, which really makes me think they wrote this after they cast the damn thing because Bobby Bolivia reads like Bernie Mack, the manerisms the dialouge everything sounds like it was tailor written for Mack, it's generally a forgettable scene, it's really there just to explain how Sam get's Bumblebee. There's a moment where Bolivia is trying to get them to pay five grand for a beat up Camero, they say four, he says no way and get out of the car, then Bumblebee tags one of the other cars with his own door, then when Bolivia persists sends out a soundwave that blows out all the windows and headlights of the other vehicles. I wouldn't have had a problem with the scene except for the fact that through the bulk of it Sam bags on the car untill right about the time he's told he can't have it, that and when the sonic boom goes off Sam and his dad start to take off frightened by what happens but when Boliva tells em four grand is ok they stick around and buy the car. What the hell was the point of having them freaked out at all if their fear is going to be quickly swayed by the offer of a good deal on a car he really didn't want or like in the first place. By this point we are 50 pages into the book with only 3 pages of robots.

  • June 22, 2007, 1:16 a.m. CST

    So far so good Revsick

    by IndustryKiller!

    That's exactly the script I read so far. Pretty terrible.

  • June 22, 2007, 1:28 a.m. CST

    SPOILER! BOOK REVIEW PART DEUX! SPOILER!

    by RevSick

    So after the car lot we get into the hackers. All I have to say is, WHY!? What was the damn point, oh the point is they bring them in to essentially try and translate MODEM SQUELCH! Yup that's right you heard right they bring them in to have them translate Modem Squelch, are you fucking kidding me? So we're introduced to them through a cab scene where via a lap top she is somehow able to change all the lights to green and give out a groan worthy Star Trek joke "See all the pretty lights, that means Warp Speed." After the quick intro we jump back to the left overs of Blackout's attack roaming through the desert, no, it's not Skorponok time, we're just letting you know they're A-OK and also has us introduced to one of their wives in a brief flash to one of their wives and children cause that makes us give a shit. That's the only reason we jump back to them, just to let you know they're there and that one of them has a wife and kids, well no shit I'm sure alot of them do we don't need it spelled out for us. It adds nothing to the story and really only lasts about two pages. <P> After this little bit we jump right back to Sam, who's plotting and schemeing how to improve his ride to get girls. If you didn't get the point that he's an awkward dork with awkward dork friends, this scene will solidify it for you, it will at an amazingly great length, this goes through the adventure of him taking the car out and about, and to get crickets at Petco. This gets him into a run in with the jock and Mikela, which is just dumb, derivitive, and just more of the same from every teen movie ever made. This winds up leading to the scene with Mikela working her way over Bumblebee's engine, it's also the first bit of Bumblebee helping via the radio. This whole passage is just stupid, there are no other words for it, just stupid and pointless and adds nothing to the story what so ever. By this point we are 86 pages into the book, where's all this robot action, I'm over a third of the way through and there's been one three page bit with a robot so far. Giant Fucking Robots indeed.

  • June 22, 2007, 1:31 a.m. CST

    The script

    by Colonel Activity

    You'd get a better script if you dropped a stack of papers and a pen into a monkey cage.

  • June 22, 2007, 1:57 a.m. CST

    Staldo, With 2 quiet, low key posts...

    by Pawprint

    'pwns' the fucking lot of us - 'haters' and 'apologists' alike.<p> Beautiful.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:06 a.m. CST

    SPOILER! PART THREE SPOILER!

    by RevSick

    So the next thirty or so pages are a bit of a hodge podge as they jump around alot. We sart on Air Force One this scene intro's us to the president, another really just kind of unnecissary story line, but oh well, this basically takes the frenzy on Air Force One bit and intercuts it with the hackers trying to stop Frenzy from hacking their systems, which low and behold he finds out about Sam's great great grandaddy and Megatron. Now as a plot point, it somewhat works, but are you really trying to tell me that a robot in disguise would be so disruptive of our by all logic stone age technology that a hacker on our planet would be able to tell what the fuck he was doing? We also in this section get Bumblebee taking off on his own and Sam thinking his car was stolen, filing a report with the cops, being freaked out by bumblebee and leaving his parents a voice mail confessing the copies of Busty Beauties is his and it's just bad. After the cops arrest Sam the cop even acusses him of being on the "goof balls" yup, the cop accusses him of being on "goof balls" what fucking year is this, do cops still talk like that, I thought this was all about making it real, well the last time I heard someone use the term "goof balls" to describe dope of any kind they were either in their eighties or recorded in the 1950s. <p> After that whole section of literary diareah we get to Skorponok's attack, finally some action too bad in a book of 300 pages it takes up twelve, and most of it is focused on the people. So once again I say, Giant Fucking Robots? Where all I see are people. Now while from what I've seen of Skorponok ILM's work looks great but is this the extent of what we're going to see, a robot jumps out and then we spend the rest of the scene focused on the soldiers and not the "Giant Fucking Robot"? <p> This whole section ends with Sam sitting on his bed sad that his car is gone, untill he decides to visit his buddy and that his only means of transportation is a pink bike his mom owns. Never mind that the dialouge is all about how he bought Satan's Camero and how it's trying to steal his soul, he decides to ride his mom's pink bike. Now this was a guy who was so self concious he was going to turn down his car cause it looked shoddy, and you expect me to believe he's going to be seen in public on a pink bike, riiiiiiight. At this point we're now 130 pages into the book and have had a total of about 18 pages of robots, hmmm, something not adding up here I'd say.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:11 a.m. CST

    Ok the book EXACTLY mirrors the awful script

    by IndustryKiller!

    But then again to the apologists it wont matter. If it had two minutes of giant robots fighting it's worth it to them.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:21 a.m. CST

    The Torus State of Praxus?

    by AbsumZer0

    Oh, I get it! Torus = Taurus = because he has a bull's head. And that explains the accent and rugged attitude, right? So according to the intricate mythology of the film where does Jazz originate? The Blackus state of Gettous? When people complain about the cluttered designs and poor resemblance to their G1 namesake's it's "well G1 sucked you faggot, they couldn't make them look like that or they'd look childish and unrealistic", but when they complain about the weak plot, cliched characters, and cheesy dialogue it's "well, what do you expect? The cartoon was cheesy!" Yeah, nice standards you've got there. "She may be a mental handicap with the mind of an 8 year-old, but she's got a grown woman's boobies! Score!" I'm also fairly sure Lamborghinicountach's review was meant as tongue-in-cheek parody. People just didn't recognize it as such because it's so spot-on accurate.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:42 a.m. CST

    SPOILER PART FOUR SPOILER@!!!!!

    by RevSick

    I'm going start abreviating a bit now cause if I keep going into detail like this I'm going to pop something in my brain due to how insipid this shit is. <p> We jump right back in with the hackers this time she's getting her buddy in on the act, why, do we care, probably not, it's filler time. <p> We then jump back to Sam on his Mom's pink bike, he notices Bumblebee is trailing him and takes off trying to elude his car, this causes him to wreck in front of Mikela, she does the whole are you alright deal, he says he's losing his mind and is off again. She gives chace on her Vespa, which how this kid can pedal faster than motor vehicles is beyond me, but this shit is obviously written by stoned apes so I digress. He winds up under an overpass and we finally get to some TF on TF action. That's right the much Ballyhoooed Bumblebee/Baracade fight. So at page 143 we get to our first real transformation. So if the film is two and a half hours, you have an hour and 15 till you really get your first full transformation. But once again the bulk of the action is spent concentrating on the people, not the "Giant Fucking Robots" once again, this also is where we get the Sam kicking Frenzy's head like he's a star fucking athlete scene as well. This whole fight lasts seven pages and ends with Sam and Mikela deciphering Bumblebee's radio speak as to what's going on, and them getting him a new body. <p> We then jump back to the hackers, do we care, not really, we are here for "GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS!" right, not story, not that any of this plot is any good anyway. <p> So anyone else noticing someone missing from the story so far, why that would be Optimus Prime, he's missing in action because he doesn't show up till page 163! Over half way through the fucking book and that's when Prime first shows up. So we're good and past the hour and a half mark and we finally see prime, all I have to say is what the fuck! And he's basically introduced to us along with the rest of the autobot gang, in a bad montage of everyone landing in varying areas and finding their car form and meeting up with Sam, Mikela, Bumblebee and Optimus. It's at this point Optimus reveals the actual plot, or what the plot of the movie should have been from point A. the Decepticons want to take over the earth, we didn't need all the other bullshit about Sam's love life, or hackers or government agencies, just Decepticons want to fuck up your shit and the Autobots want to save it and live peacefully with you. But oh no that wasn't good enough we need to follow humans around a movie called "TRANSFORMERS" for 90% of the fucking film. Great job hacks. Oh but it doesn't stop there we get the painfully hiding 50 foot robots in your back yard scene, we get Sector Seven taking Sam, his parents and Mikela into custody as well as Bumblebee, we get them being rescued from Sector Seven from the autobots so we can revel in lines like "Oh Wow, you A-holes are in Tu-ruh-bull." are you fucking kidding me!? By the way we are now 207 pages into the book. With less than about an hour left in movie time.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:47 a.m. CST

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    "What didn't work? In my opinion, towards the end, the movie is a little overkill. All the restraint and building up of tension just explodes into this massive 40 mins of non-stop action. I think very few directors can manage such prolonged time of action (James Cameron comes to mind), and while Michael Bay does a terrific job, for me personally, it was a bit overkill." <BR><BR> IMO that just SCREAMS plant! Hilarious! Basically saying "there is almost TOO much action!!" as a complaint! LMAO!!

  • June 22, 2007, 2:48 a.m. CST

    script vs novel

    by pigshit

    you know the novel done from script don't you. They don't watch the movie and pause it every 30 seconds to write everything down

  • June 22, 2007, 2:51 a.m. CST

    Two words why TF will not be as huge as you think.

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    HARRY. POTTER.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:55 a.m. CST

    BringingSexyBack + IndustryKiller!

    by Quintus_Arrius

    Are you racist? Or is your neck just crimson in colour? <P> IK - see you in line - fucker!

  • June 22, 2007, 3 a.m. CST

    The first 30 min of Fantastic Four 2 was useless

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    They could have cut out everything right before the wedding ceromony and it would have been a better movie for it. Just filler all the way up till then. Mr. Fantastic stretching up in the dance club and looking into the camera is cringe inducing.

  • June 22, 2007, 3:09 a.m. CST

    Spoiler! Fifth and Final to be followed by a summation.

    by RevSick

    So shortly after the "TU-RU-BULL" line we get our E.T. moment of Bumblebee getting taken away by the evil general, oh and we get Bumblebee peeing on someone, and people thought the fart/poop jokes in Phantom Menace were bad, looks like these guys like R. Kelly a little too much. <p> So now everyone is at the base, including the army guys, the hackers and sam, mikela and sam's family, what the fuck kind of mickey mouse bullshit is this, everyone winds up at the same fucking place. Next thing I know Michael Bay will be talking about how the underlying tone of the film is Syncronicity, fucking bullshit right there. It's not untill page 225 that we finally see Starscream in jet form just briefly so we can go back to Sector Seven and find out that this is where Megatron is and also the Alspark. This is where the scene with someone bringing their PDA to life and it going crazy pops in, but most importantly it brings Megs back to life with his first words "Insects". But this doesn't happen till page 241 so the film has maybe fourty minutes left. <p> Pretty soon all hell breaks loose as the other robots arrive and shit takes off from there, but once again the majority of the action is background to whatever the human characters are doing. <p> The big end battle, ah yes, the one all the apologists love to bring out whenever they argue with a "hater", it takes up 36 pages, however, lets disect this a little shall we. 36 pages minues 8 pages to deal with what the hackers are doing, wait make that seven and a half cause there's about a paragraph where they deal with frenzy, and you get 26 and a half pages. Megatron and Prime battle for a few pages, Jazz is killed rather unceremoniously, not that we gave a shit anyway, and Sam winds up taking out Megatron with the Alspark. So there's your big battle it takes up 26 pages of a 291 page book, that's less than ten percent of the book. <p> The whole thing ends with everyone pretty much living happily ever after, Mikela dumps the jock for Sam, Optimus declares that Cybertron is dead without the Alspark and they have to live on earth and sends a message out to the other robots that Earth is their new home, we also get the President telling everyone that this should all be covered up, really, so no one else but the few people directly involved happened to see the "Giant Fucking Robots!" attacking shit, oh wait, I guess they wouldn't cause they're barely in the fucking story! So that's the end of the review and I will summarize in the next post.

  • June 22, 2007, 3:11 a.m. CST

    Wow

    by Monty 16

    Some of you guys, for better of for worse, have been posting hundreds of times for weeks to berate a movie you have not seen yet. Some of you are downright obsessed with a movie you hate already. I dont know if its going to be a good movie yet for I have not seen it. All I can say is from what Ive seen so far theyve done a great job. They had to create this from the ground up, its a huge untertaking and it looks damn good. Could they cater to everyone's idea of what it should be..of course not..but it will be sucessful in bring transformers to this generation on a large scale. All in all I think the Jurassic park metaphor is kind of right on. <br> Some of you could have written and produced YOUR version of transformers with the amount of time and effort you spend bashing this one...that you havent seen yet. I think it would be great 3d animation is very accesible to the masses..or you could go brothers quay style with some toys..there could be a contest here on aicn and we could put superninjas up against yackbackers short. <br> Don't be an art critic, but paint, there lies salvation. - Paul Cezanne

  • June 22, 2007, 3:13 a.m. CST

    regularfacetoht

    by Quintus_Arrius

    The mere fact that people appose any/this movie and then bothers to turn up at a/this TB suggests a morbid curiosity at the very least and will therefore see this movie - hence the statement you dumb fuck!

  • June 22, 2007, 3:15 a.m. CST

    Monty 16

    by Quintus_Arrius

    Amen!

  • June 22, 2007, 3:17 a.m. CST

    So there we go......

    by RevSick

    ....we have a story about military guys. A story about a kid, his car, and the quest of every dorky kid to fuck the hot chick. A story about a couple of hackers. A story about a secret government agency. But wait, I thought this film was Transformers, but they only seem to occupy about 20% of the actual story. Oh that's because it's a poorly written cash grab, using a known licence that no one in the production gives two shits about. So they just cut and paste a dozen different story lines together leaving out the "GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS!" They barely have any character or precence and are mostly dealt with in automobile form for the bulk of the film or in the background. Most of the sequences with them are so short they are hardly worth noting and most of them you've seen on the ads. All I can say is please don't believe the hype, and punish these hacks for lazy writting, poor direction, no artistic vision, lying, false advertisement, and general shennanigans. Don't check your brain at the door for the flashy lights and pretty pictures that will make up maybe 40 minutes of a two and a half hour shit fest. Expect more milage from your dollar than just fancy CGI, make them work for your dollar. Thank you and good night.

  • June 22, 2007, 3:35 a.m. CST

    Regular...

    by RevSick

    ...exactly, I was very much looking forward to this at first, hell I didn't mind Bay at first either, not my first choice but he splodes stuff real good. So I thought maybe Spielberg would rein him in a little, looks like the ole berg just attached his name for the paycheck on this one and went on to bigger better things. But it really wasn't untill Murphy's b.s. that I checked out of line on this one.

  • June 22, 2007, 3:37 a.m. CST

    regularfacetoht

    by Quintus_Arrius

    Whats the matter with you dude? I don't give a flying-fuck if you or anybody else sees this movie. My general point is - shut the fuck up, you prick! Or in other words wait until you see the motion picture (if you indeed decided to) and if you don't like it burn the hell out of it, is all! Look, it just makes me smile that something as small as 'Flames' or 'Pussy Lips' will deny many of the aforementioned 'Haters' the POSSIBILITY of enjoying what COULD BE a good movie. <P> You know, I'm a movie fan like you (otherwise you wouldn't be here) and I'd like everybody to be happy and when they're not, it makes me sad... I care about you, dude... Not in a 'dick up your arse hole' kind of way but as a fellow geek.

  • June 22, 2007, 3:37 a.m. CST

    Revsick you come of like some sort of demented

    by bongo123

    hardcore G1 nerd, you really do... i mean WTF!?!? your hatred for this movie borders on the insane, you havent even seen it yet and your preaching about staying away.. fucking hell mate, you need a good dose of fucking reality coupled with a good few hours of sunlight.. its a fucking movie you wanker nothing else, stay at home with your comics and optimus pj's you fucking child and get over it.

  • June 22, 2007, 3:39 a.m. CST

    bongo123

    by Quintus_Arrius

    Amen brother.

  • June 22, 2007, 3:39 a.m. CST

    ITS A FUCKING MOVIE YOU MORONS ABOUT ROBOTS

    by bongo123

    have to get that off my chest each and every day reading the posts from you taliban fuckers

  • June 22, 2007, 3:41 a.m. CST

    I just read the book fucktard!

    by RevSick

    It's horse shit, it's poor writing and the fucking "GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS" are in it for maybe a fraction of the fucking story. Remember that's what it, a "GIANT FUCKING ROBOT" sploding shit extravaganza, well it makes up about fifty pages of a 300 page fucking book, that is based on the shooting script, that is why I recomend staying the fuck away.

  • June 22, 2007, 3:44 a.m. CST

    Why the fuck would anyone who wants to see

    by RevSick

    "Giant Fucking Robots" want to sit through a two and a half hour shit fest for maybe fourty min of neato CG is beyond me but if you want to pay ten bucks for it be my fucking guest.

  • June 22, 2007, 3:52 a.m. CST

    I decided to be fair...

    by RevSick

    ...I gave their story the benefit of the doubt, went in with an open mind, hell I even thought the first chapter was alright at best, but it spiraled downward from there. I'm sorry but if you're going to call a movie Transformers you better fucking have some Transformers in it and not just in the last half hour, or brief glimpse/fast cut bullshit either. The characters are cookie cutter, the plot is cobbled together from a dozen other sources and not very well at that. If the book had even been somewhat tollerable I would have checked it out, but it can't even get in more than a few scenes with the Transformers in it, hell most of them don't even show up till the story is almost two thirds over, that's crap. So if you want to watch a film about a kid trying to get the hot chick, hackers, military types, etc. than be my guest but I wanted to you know see a Transformers movie.

  • June 22, 2007, 3:54 a.m. CST

    Any movie fan worth his salt will be first in line to..

    by bongo123

    ..see this just for the sheer fact that nothing like this has ever been shown before on the big screen, come on big fucking transforming robots kicking all shades of shit outa each other hung together by the bare minimum of script, sounds like a complete blast to me and i for one cannot for the life of me get why you idiots out there hate it so much... you should be thanking the fucking gods that someone made it and that those people were spielberg and bay, the 2 people best equipped to throw money at it and make it the Jurassic Park/ID4 of 2007 which is perfectly fucking fine in my book.

  • June 22, 2007, 3:56 a.m. CST

    RevSick

    by Quintus_Arrius

    Dude, I respect that fact that you MAY dislike this movie. It's cool, each to their own... I really mean that brother. But what I can't understand is that you've spent so much time on th TB's over the weeks, took time to read reviews on other websites as well as this one, took more time to read the book, took even more time to give us a transcript of the movie based on the book you took time to read yet the real test or how 'good' or 'bad' this movie is won't be taken by you. <P> That's just weired. <P> Or will I see you in line too?

  • June 22, 2007, 3:58 a.m. CST

    And another thing, why in the holy fuck of fucks

    by bongo123

    would you totally ruin the movie going experience by reading a script and every single fucking thing about a movie thus ruining any suspense and making your mind up before actually seeing the fucking thing??? i mean, when you get a hot women home (as fucking if) do you pop of into the toilet and knock one out before actually having sex, thus rendering the whole fucking thing a pointless sweaty exercise??? why would you do that!?

  • June 22, 2007, 3:58 a.m. CST

    You know who else makes arguments like that...

    by RevSick

    ...Uwe Boll. "you guys should be glad I'm making video game movies cause no one else is blah blah blah" I'm not going to be standing in line for his shit fests either.

  • June 22, 2007, 4:01 a.m. CST

    I'm putting it into some perspective....

    by RevSick

    ....every good review says everything is shit except the robots, ok, so where are the robots, they are hardly in the fucking story, so if they're the only good thing in it, and they're hardly in it, it's a bad fucking movie.

  • June 22, 2007, 4:03 a.m. CST

    RevSick

    by Quintus_Arrius

    Your funny.

  • June 22, 2007, 4:05 a.m. CST

    Also,

    by RevSick

    the reason I read sites like this is so I don't get stuck in a theater, wasting my money, on a film that is dissapointing. There have been plenty I've read the books before they came out and all the news and such that I saw and were very pleased with, but there are some like this that shape up to be shit and I pass. I'm tired of spending ten bucks on shite that is just bad product. If the story is good then it doesn't matter what pictures you see or if you read the book, that's why the novelizations come out before the film. But if the story sucks, why would I even bother. As I said, I read the book to be fair, I checked my bias at the door and gave it a chance to win me over, it didn't. And I wanted to stick it to the people who's only argument to the film being good is "Giant Fucking Robots". They're barely in it so that's the deal.

  • June 22, 2007, 4:05 a.m. CST

    RevSick

    by Quintus_Arrius

    Who hurt you, dude? You wanna talk about it?

  • June 22, 2007, 4:07 a.m. CST

    Revsick dude you really need to step back and

    by bongo123

    examine your shit mate, i really think theres something wrong with you mental wise, your far to fanatic about this to be a sane normal adult, i mean actually writing all that crap on a transformer talkback of all things!!?? you have waaaay to much time on your hands, but you will be proven wrong along with the rest of the crazy fucks on this website when this movie makes loads of money and you know what, Michael Bay will be doing the sequal HAHAHAHA fuck i bet that shits really going to keep you awake crying at night... brings tears to my eyes thinkng about that one... i cant wait for the MICHAEL BAY RAPED MY CYBERTRON cries

  • June 22, 2007, 4:09 a.m. CST

    No one hurt me dude....

    by RevSick

    ...but when the only excuse I see for people saying the movie is going to be good is "Giant Fucking Robots" I call bullshit. And when I go and check out the book and low and behold the "Giant Fucking Robots" are barely in it I consider it a buyer beware sort of situation.

  • June 22, 2007, 4:10 a.m. CST

    regularfacetoht

    by Quintus_Arrius

    This is not a shrouded question, so please bare with me here.... Are you going to see this movie? <P> Seriously now...

  • June 22, 2007, 4:12 a.m. CST

    Dude I've never said it's not going to make money...

    by RevSick

    ...it'll do the same as the rest of his films. Big opening weekend with a quick drop off. And don't worry dude I got plenty of shit going on in my life, just some time my leasure time is spent here, sometimes it's video games, sometimes it's writting, sometimes, it's photography, sometimes drawing lots of stuff really. Just I can do more than one thing at a time unlike alot of people. Shit this whole time I've been working on several other project, just how I work, probably comes from my work with Kaufman at Troma, but I digress.

  • June 22, 2007, 4:12 a.m. CST

    As for hardly any robot time in it... so fuck, id

    by bongo123

    gladly pay $10 just to see the fucking trailer on a huge screen, its $10!! big fucking deal, $10 (bring your own candy if your gonna be a tight cunt) plus 2 1/5 hours of your oh so precious time, and what do you get out of it? 30 maybe 40minutes of some serious special effects specticle? thats worth the door price alone, but then again that $10 could buy you a new transformers comic which has such great characters, deep story and fantastic action and then those 2 1/2 hours could be better spent cleaning all your original G1 toys...

  • June 22, 2007, 4:14 a.m. CST

    A box office hit...

    by TinSpider

    isn't nessercerly a good film. Look at that shitfest Phantom Menace for example. Shit script, Poorly developed characters and a huge fan base with huge expectations. Sound familar? Transformers will make tons of cash but I doubt it will be on many people's favourite movie list two years from now.

  • June 22, 2007, 4:14 a.m. CST

    Actually, I value my money a bit more than that...

    by RevSick

    ...ten dollars is gas in my car, it's food on my table, it's rent for my apartment, it's food for my pets, so yeah, ten bucks is a bit much for thirty minutes of cg I can watch at home when it hits Blockbuster or Cable.

  • June 22, 2007, 4:16 a.m. CST

    Why "No one has to shut the fuck Up":

    by Phategod1

    Because this is AIC fucking N this is talkback you asshole and everyone here has the right to express there opinion preconceived or fact based about this or any other project so you cromagnon mouth breathing Apologetic assholes can fuck off, Join a Transformers website where everyone participates in the movie circle jerk and praise every bull shit clip,review, and bit of info you little lowest common denominator brain can handle. Until then crawl back into whatever 3rd world country with lack of freedoms you either live in or deserve to live in the next time you get the notion to tell someone to shut the fuck up for expressing there opinions

  • June 22, 2007, 4:16 a.m. CST

    RevSick

    by Quintus_Arrius

    OK dude. I concede... you're not going to see the movie, still don't make any sense why all the 'research' but hey, if you have the time... (like I do today - day off work - yay!). <P> Here's a serious question for you, dude. Which of the summer blockbusters already released do you think will do the best business?

  • June 22, 2007, 4:19 a.m. CST

    If I do see it at the cinema...

    by TinSpider

    I'll pay for a Harry Potter ticket. But because the UK has to wait almost a month for it's release I'll probably get a bootleg from dodgy dave from down the pub.

  • June 22, 2007, 4:19 a.m. CST

    Of the ones already released

    by RevSick

    probably Spiderman 3, it's a hair shorter than Pirates and I think it's got a more universal fanbase than Pirates does, but I think it's pretty even on that account.

  • June 22, 2007, 4:21 a.m. CST

    And I never said I would NEVER see it....

    by RevSick

    ...just not in theaters.

  • June 22, 2007, 4:23 a.m. CST

    Phategod1

    by Quintus_Arrius

    Shut the fuck up! <P> Cunt.

  • June 22, 2007, 4:23 a.m. CST

    Look a theatrical release

    by RevSick

    needs to be held to a higher standard, they need to earn that ten bucks plus snacks, and that goes for the theater chains to enforce a comfortable viewing environment, but bottom line is they need to earn my dollar, and that's through quality storytelling, not intelligent, not smart, but QUALITY, i.e. entertaining, sucks me into the story, not "hey look at the flashing lights and the pretty images flashing on screen" That's my opinion but hey if shiny objects are your thing then once again be my guest, but I'll be waiting for Dee Vee Dee.

  • June 22, 2007, 4:25 a.m. CST

    WOW! This is still going on?

    by lionbiu

    WOW! This is still going on? Seriously this movie will open huge and than dissappear after a week..just enjoy the ride and than forget about it. Seems like a cotton candy movie and I wont be seeing it but I am sure all of you arguing will.

  • June 22, 2007, 4:29 a.m. CST

    WOW! This is still going on?

    by lionbiu

    WOW! This is still going on? Seriously this movie will open huge and than dissappear after a week..just enjoy the ride and than forget about it. Seems like a cotton candy movie and I wont be seeing it but I am sure all of you arguing will.

  • June 22, 2007, 4:36 a.m. CST

    Gods bless you, LamborghiniCountacheStill#1

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    May the great goddess Fortune rain a torrent of gold coins into your jizz-covered lap! That is, without doubt, the funniest plant review I have ever read. You had my respect at "Not every movie has to be "good" or have "brains" or "heart" or "soul" or "make sense" or "tell a good story", then I became aroused when you insisted Transformers is for REAL MEN and not for 'cunts' or 'fairies', and then I fell in love when you slipped in the phrase 'palpable tension'.<p>It will be along time before anyone tops that one, buddy.

  • June 22, 2007, 4:40 a.m. CST

    WOW! This is still going on?

    by lionbiu

    WOW! This is still going on? Seriously this movie will open huge and than dissappear after a week..just enjoy the ride and than forget about it. Seems like a cotton candy movie and I wont be seeing it but I am sure all of you arguing will.

  • June 22, 2007, 4:45 a.m. CST

    RevSick

    by Quintus_Arrius

    I meant seeing it in the cinema - my bad! (Hey was that line in the book?). With all the time, effort and research you've put in you owe it to yourself to hate this movie on a screen, whatever the size. Happy days my dear American cousin. Hai,l the TF haters!

  • June 22, 2007, 4:48 a.m. CST

    Indeed....

    by Quintus_Arrius

    ... I say Hail!

  • June 22, 2007, 4:56 a.m. CST

    Quintus_Arrius

    by Phategod1

    Suck my taint You whiney Bitch ass fuck.

  • June 22, 2007, 5 a.m. CST

    Phategod1 why do you come off sounding like some

    by bongo123

    sort of flag waving redneck? and come on Rev admit you'll be going to see this on the big screen, you just know you'll slip into a weekday showing in disguise for some secret bay love

  • June 22, 2007, 5:08 a.m. CST

    Phategod1

    by Quintus_Arrius

    You know, thats exactly what I said to your momma.. <P> You Cunt.

  • June 22, 2007, 5:19 a.m. CST

    You got me born

    by Phategod1

    and in the deep Miss. j/k but serious You too are prime definition of apologist. "it's just $10. You don't seem to get it, why the fuck do you reward Mediocrity whether it be $10 or $2 you keep giving them your money they'll keep making shittier and shittier movies.

  • June 22, 2007, 5:24 a.m. CST

    Phategod1

    by Quintus_Arrius

    Seriously... are you NOT going to see this in a 'multiplex' near you? <P> You spend way too much time here not too.

  • June 22, 2007, 5:26 a.m. CST

    Phategod1

    by Quintus_Arrius

    And are you indeed a redneck?

  • June 22, 2007, 5:26 a.m. CST

    hey phategod do you get broadband into that trailer?

    by bongo123

    or is it still 56k? just curious what the jerry springer brigade get speed wise...

  • June 22, 2007, 5:30 a.m. CST

    Phategod1

    by Quintus_Arrius

    Cut any eye-holes in any white sheets lately? You and BringingSexyBack (or whatever the fuck his name is) planning to hang anybody down there in the dirty-dirty south? eh?

  • June 22, 2007, 5:33 a.m. CST

    Honestly NO

    by Phategod1

    I don't care about this movie DO you the most entertaining part of tis movie' These Talkbacks, THe fact that I have had pissiing matches with senoir members of the staff, there Sycophants, and trolls like you, I've had good civil discussion with fellow transformer fans, Both those who will and will not support this movie. I'm not looking forward to this movie for 1 simple reason it will mean the end of these massive talkbacks. Other then That I have no interest in "Micheal Bays' Tranformers" Oh yeah the Double Wide is Comcastic.

  • June 22, 2007, 5:34 a.m. CST

    Phategod1

    by Quintus_Arrius

    You planning on cutting any holes in some white sheets today? <P> Are you and BringingSexyBack (or whatever the fuck his name is) planning on hanging anybody in the dirty-dirty south today? Eh?

  • June 22, 2007, 5:37 a.m. CST

    Is that 'no'...

    by Quintus_Arrius

    ... you're not a redneck then? See you line, you bastard.

  • June 22, 2007, 5:38 a.m. CST

    Who knows wha the day holds

    by Phategod1

    Your new here aren't you?

  • June 22, 2007, 5:39 a.m. CST

    I now know what SN

    by Phategod1

    Goes though when people thinks shes a dude.

  • June 22, 2007, 5:39 a.m. CST

    Nope

    by Quintus_Arrius

  • June 22, 2007, 5:41 a.m. CST

    No way...

    by Quintus_Arrius

    ... are you a girl!

  • June 22, 2007, 5:42 a.m. CST

    $10 is like 5 quid from where i hail from phate, its..

    by bongo123

    not a lot of money for over 2hrs of entertainment, it would get me 2pints o guiness so for $10 i get to see big giant robots fighting it out with humans getting in the way on a seriously big fucking screen... now come on man, anyone who likes sci-fi or popcorn summer movies has gotta be into seeing that shit on that big screen

  • June 22, 2007, 5:43 a.m. CST

    Anyway My

    by Phategod1

    Mega massive Grammar attack # 9 million has left me Beat I'm going to bed I'll see you all later tonight Hey Yack We got to get together one Night with Rickey H and Drink Fine Loggers or something.

  • June 22, 2007, 5:44 a.m. CST

    bongo123

    by Quintus_Arrius

    I do believe that Phategod1 may be of the female species.

  • June 22, 2007, 5:46 a.m. CST

    Phategod1

    by Quintus_Arrius

    Sleep tight.

  • June 22, 2007, 5:46 a.m. CST

    One more thing

    by Phategod1

    Most of us "haterz" or what ever Buzz word you want to throw around want more then "Popcorn Summer" movies we actually want a intelligent well acted movie. Scroll up and read through this and the Other Tb regarding Transformers and you'll see what I mean Good night or morning all peace.

  • June 22, 2007, 5:47 a.m. CST

    You mericans are a tight bunch of bastards..

    by bongo123

    no offense, but fuck me throw some money at shite once in a while i mean your president is throwing the vast majority of your money away at shite so you may as well get in on the action... big huge robot action!!! :) yeah im gonna miss these talkbacks also, its what amuses me in work while er.. working, but you know what this site is like, the next crazy ass nerd flick is just round the corner...

  • June 22, 2007, 5:47 a.m. CST

    and you may be as wrong as too left shoes

    by Phategod1

  • June 22, 2007, 5:50 a.m. CST

    the final one sheet

    by supercowbell 4 cant stop the cowbell

    http://www.superherohype.com/news/topnews.php?id=5899

  • June 22, 2007, 5:51 a.m. CST

    intelligent... well acted.... its a movie about bloody

    by bongo123

    robots, its not the godfather for crying out loud! its stupid dumb entertainment for kids, you know like the original fucking cartoon

  • June 22, 2007, 5:53 a.m. CST

    UWE BOLL IS A DICK RIDING FAG IT

    by supercowbell 4 cant stop the cowbell

    its been confirmed

  • June 22, 2007, 6:22 a.m. CST

    If it's like Jurassic Park or ID4, I'm sold!

    by Lord_Soth

    <strong>Sound cool!</strong>

  • June 22, 2007, 7:23 a.m. CST

    Just reading all of the night shifts posts...

    by Ricky Henderson

    Strong work wackjobs. Finky: Yack and I down for a NY area AICN viewing of this. Get on a plane damnit. 3000 miles is only a few inches on a map. Jack: yeah buddy, I snagged your idea and essentially expounded on it, adding more bedlam. Other things I fully expect to see when I catch TINO: Michael Bay introducing the flick by snorting lines off of a hindu cow's ass then proceeding to fuck aforementioned hindu cow while the audience cheers him on, sex-offender yodelers performing the Transformers theme song, a small chasm opening up in the theater floor from which the devil's minions burst out, ninjas scurrying around in the theater air vents (the ninjas are on fire of course), an hot robot on robot orgy in the projection booth, vending machines with beards in the theater lobby, The corpse of Frank Welker hanging from the rafters by a noose, and me, Rickey Henderson, completely losing my shit when I sit my ass down for 2.5 hours of Transformers insanity.

  • June 22, 2007, 7:27 a.m. CST

    Looks f-ing fantastic! Just to rub it in on you Rev-Si

    by MJAYACE

    Relax dude. You take this movie stuff too serious. Go spend some time in Iraq or Afghanistan if you want something to get passionate and real about. People are dying, starving or getting blown apart all over the world and you are so pent up about a f-ing movie. I read the book too and it wasn't that bad. It was a typical novel based on a movie. Other than in DC in the beginning a Former was in pretty much every scene in one form or another. No it wasn't a balls out fight every five seconds but the actions scenes should translate well on screen. Looking forward to it.

  • June 22, 2007, 7:40 a.m. CST

    Indeed Phate

    by Ricky Henderson

    Rickey's down for hanging out and drinking loggers. Followed by a Tranformers costumed log jamming session. Hot hot hot...

  • June 22, 2007, 7:51 a.m. CST

    Moriarty's movie "ProLife"

    by rsdigi

    Drew, did you really write this episode of Masters of Horror? I want my 30 minutes back (I didn't watch it all) Do you really think 15 year old girls "listen to records" now a days? Come on!

  • June 22, 2007, 8:17 a.m. CST

    too much focus on shias story -

    by Doc Zoidy

    too much focus on shias story and nowhere near enough robot-on-robot ultra violence. no soundwave = no chance of me giving a shit about this film till i can see it at home . im not gonna spend good money to go to the cinema and watch my childhood icons being raped of all their character and appeal on screen.

  • June 22, 2007, 8:20 a.m. CST

    I just read that Variety review

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Are all their reviews like that? Very smug, although not without some insight, and then it kind of stopped mid-flow. Very strange. I'll stick with Vern, I think.<p>Anyway, it seemed to confirm it's an okay bit of fun with some really good effects, which is about as much as you can hope for. Mind you, it's getting depressing to see that even professional reviewers seem to be drastically lowering their standards when it comes to the summer blockbuster stuff. They pay only a cursory amount of attention to the story aspects, as though we shouldn't even expect a decent story from this type of film. Who knows, though - maybe they're right?

  • June 22, 2007, 8:39 a.m. CST

    LamborghiniCountacheStill#1 = BAY HIMSELF!!!

    by Mogwai Democracy

    i'll bet you anything Bay himself wrote that review! i'm totally serious!! that just REEKS of Bay!<br><br>snort for the edit.

  • June 22, 2007, 8:56 a.m. CST

    Does Megatron have the same orthodontist as . . .

    by TheManWithTooManyNames

    Kirsten Dunst? Just askin'.

  • June 22, 2007, 9:35 a.m. CST

    TINO fact # 1

    by TheManWithTooManyNames

    Megatron appearance is delayed until the third act because those shady government scientists from Sector 7 spend the majority of the movie trying to fix his teeth. <p> Scientist: "God damn it, this won't do! Get me Donny Osmond's orthodontist!"

  • June 22, 2007, 9:40 a.m. CST

    Let's Not Hate Michael Bay...

    by Mr Gorilla

    Let's instead hate the idiots like the reviewer above who says taht story and character are pointless when you're blowing major shit up. Idiots like that are encouraging the studios to pound out shit.

  • June 22, 2007, 9:42 a.m. CST

    TINO fact # 1

    by TheManWithTooManyNames

    Megatron's appearance in TINO is delayed until the third act, because those shady government scientists from Sector 7 spend the majority of the movie, trying to fix his teeth. <p> Scientist: "God damn it, this won't do! Get me Donny Osmond's orthodontist!"

  • June 22, 2007, 9:45 a.m. CST

    Oops!

    by TheManWithTooManyNames

    Sorry about the double post, but the grammar nazis in me couldn't leave the first one alone.

  • June 22, 2007, 10:41 a.m. CST

    hateeeers,come out to

    by ominus

    hateeeers,come out to playyyyy. ahahahaha

  • June 22, 2007, 11:16 a.m. CST

    Rev, don't listen to them.

    by superninja

    It's too funny they waste as much time coming here arguing points about a script they haven't even read with people who have. Yes, why do they care so much? <p> And yes, the draft script is the one they shot, with a few minor changes, although that's not what the filmmakers were claiming - was is now? <p> Based on the story and characters this movie fails as both a movie and as a TF movie. Unless you are just showing up for the special effects.

  • June 22, 2007, 11:21 a.m. CST

    I really hated the "hacker storyline" in the script

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Why couldn't they've replaced that with a Soundwave subplot? Or a Starscream ploting against Megatron subplot? I know the answer is probably money - money they would have made back. This movie will turn a good profit (theatrical and dvd wise). I guess those proposed subplots would have been too hard to understand for the targeted demographic. I remember not understanding that simple plot device when I was a young boy. Sheesh.<P> I won't apologize for the sarcasm, but this film is looseness personified. So much potential lost/wasted. And people will line up several times to validate shoddy, mediocre filmmaking. Just like GR, FF, FF2, so on and so forth. Now the common statement is "it's a setup for some great sequels"? Way to go film lovers.

  • June 22, 2007, 11:36 a.m. CST

    the fact is that you watch

    by ominus

    the fact is that you watch the movies,you dont read them.and if the movie is pure entertainment,then the scipt has done its job.and people who should listen?some babies who have read a draft,or the people who have acctually seen the movie?i bet its the latter.

  • June 22, 2007, 11:39 a.m. CST

    and plant my ass.its a cheap

    by ominus

    and plant my ass.its a cheap excuse for the haters,nothing more.it shows how immature you are really.

  • June 22, 2007, 11:39 a.m. CST

    and plant my ass.its a cheap

    by ominus

    and plant my ass.its a cheap excuse for the haters,nothing more.it shows how immature you are really.

  • June 22, 2007, 11:40 a.m. CST

    And you know, the $10 arguement doesn't work for me

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    I'm a simple man, as evidenced by my posts, and therefore a man of principle. I will not be in line, as many like to claim, and quite frankly it's a matter of principle as I have already stated. The simple fact that it seems perfectly acceptable to pay for shitty filmmaking as long as it has "wicked cool" visual effects. Well not for me. Perhaps it's a generational thing i.e. age. Maybe I'm a grumpy old guy spouting rhetoric such as "Back in my day, films actually contained good storytelling elements blah blah blah". The proof is in the pudding as they say. Shitty films make tons of cash if they have great visual effects, and thus continue to get made. I loathe the "Blockbuster" or "Popcorn Movie" labels. I just want a good film dammit. And it rather pathetic that this film continues to get excused due solely to the Robots and Visual Effects "the likes you have never seen before". Well, that works for the general public obviously, but not for me. <P>Times change, sometimes not for the better. I personally feel American filmmaking is on a decline and has been for quite sometime. I personally see far better stuff coming out of foreign markets (UK, South Korea, Japan). That's not to say a great American made film doesn't slip through, I just see more tripe than gold. <P>But I'm a pretentious/elitist/snob/killjoy, right guys? Glass half empty? My opinion is invalid since I don't belong to the lowest common denomiator. How dare I love film and all that it is capable of.

  • June 22, 2007, 11:44 a.m. CST

    And you know, the $10 arguement doesn't work for me

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    I'm a simple man, as evidenced by my posts, and therefore a man of principle. I will not be in line, as many like to claim, and quite frankly it's a matter of principle as I have already stated. The simple fact that it seems perfectly acceptable to pay for shitty filmmaking as long as it has "wicked cool" visual effects. Well not for me. Perhaps it's a generational thing i.e. age. Maybe I'm a grumpy old guy spouting rhetoric such as "Back in my day, films actually contained good storytelling elements blah blah blah". The proof is in the pudding as they say. Shitty films make tons of cash if they have great visual effects, and thus continue to get made. I loathe the "Blockbuster" or "Popcorn Movie" labels. I just want a good film dammit. And it's rather pathetic that this film continues to get excused due solely for the Robots and Visual Effects "the likes you have never seen before" which in turn evidently excuses the shitty plot, unrealized namesake and cliched human characters. Well, that works for the general public obviously, but not for me. <P>Times change - not always for the better. I personally feel American filmmaking is on a decline and has been for quite sometime. I personally see far better stuff coming out of foreign markets (UK, South Korea, Japan). That's not to say a great American made film doesn't slip through, I just see more tripe than gold. <P>But I'm a pretentious/elitist/snob/killjoy, right guys? Glass half empty? My opinion is invalid since I don't belong to the lowest common denomiator. How dare I love film and all that it is capable of.

  • June 22, 2007, 11:46 a.m. CST

    This double post shit is obnoxiously annoying

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Sorry for that guys. I have no idea why/how I keep doing that.

  • June 22, 2007, 11:50 a.m. CST

    yeah american filmmaking is

    by ominus

    yeah american filmmaking is on a decline because we dont have the g1 toys in a big-budget live action movie.yep a toy-movie which is about mindless entertainment and not about winning oscars.jesus hollywood should be ashamed..

  • June 22, 2007, 11:55 a.m. CST

    A whole lot of someones read the script to make it

    by superninja

    into the movie. I would say that makes it an important part of the process, wouldn't you? It's the backbone of the film contaning the plot, story, dialogue and character structure. It makes a contribution to what you watch being entertaining or not entertaining.

  • June 22, 2007, 11:59 a.m. CST

    Ominus

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    You either missed my point or you are just making a snarky counterpoint for the sake of sarcasm. I believe it is the latter. The G1 toys and cartoon mean little to me. Groundwork. Plain and simple. If you can't see more possibilities within the realm of Sci-Fi than loud visual effects then there is no discussion to be had between us. <P> Take care.

  • June 22, 2007, noon CST

    The only way you and most of the others can

    by superninja

    seem to make an arguement is to put words in people's mouths.

  • June 22, 2007, 12:01 p.m. CST

    I got so excited by this review I came in my own mouth

    by Dog-Swallower

    Twice.

  • June 22, 2007, 12:09 p.m. CST

    I have no shame in admitting that I love anime

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    It seems to get slammed quite a bit on this site, but my point is I watched four episodes of Godannar last night. Very flashy, unapologetic, simple and derivative. Yet it contains more story/plot/drama than this film. You care about the characters even though the battles are formulaic/corny. If I don't care about the characters, then what's the point of the journey? Flashy visuals and effects? Booming sound? I require more. Evidently I am a minority with this outlook/thinking.

  • June 22, 2007, 12:13 p.m. CST

    What is up with saying that something translated from

    by superninja

    one medium to another justifies the lowering of standards? Does making a film based on a comic book or a cartoon give you leeway to make a crappy film?

  • June 22, 2007, 12:17 p.m. CST

    SuperNinja

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Apparently it does, according to Hollywood that is. Books, let's respect them (most of the time). Sequential Art and Video Games, fuck it. And let's not forget the remake-a-go-go that frequently plagues us as of late.

  • June 22, 2007, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Gosh, I'm really hoping for a cheezy, crappy

    by superninja

    Speed Racer movie, because, you know - CARTOON!

  • June 22, 2007, 12:32 p.m. CST

    if the movie's purpose is to

    by ominus

    if the movie's purpose is to entertain and succeeds to that,then why should we condemn it?.because it wont be a classic like alien or robocop? who gives a fuck,as long as its pure fun.cinema above all is about entertainment,mindless or thoughtfull, its about entertainment.and when the scifi concept is about huge robots,then i expect the movie to deliver first action and then drama. and superninja when u watch the movie,then talk.reading a draft doesnt give strength to your arguments.

  • June 22, 2007, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Guess it depends on what entertains you. I would

    by superninja

    think the objective is to make as much money as possible. I'm pretty sure the better the product the more it sells, not the opposite.

  • June 22, 2007, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Superninja

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Newsflash: you're going to get a cheesy, crappy Speed Racer movie because the cartoon was cheesy and crappy. Actually, make that overwhelmingly shitty.

  • June 22, 2007, 12:35 p.m. CST

    HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    by Quintus_Arrius

    You know what? I respect your post and your views... a lot. I disagree with you on some levels - I'm one of the so called 'apologists' that happens to be looking forward to this movie. I think it's going to be fun; my 8 year old is looking forward to it so much and I'm probably a little more jazzed than him about it simply because of the nostalgia. <P> Look, there must be some movies that you like, love or even cherish that were less than ... well, you know... less than! <P> You're a movie geek... you must have one guilty pleasure? Something that didnt quite make the grade when it comes to substance. <P> Surely one! <P> All I'm saying is TF could be that guilty pleasure for many on this site... even you my dear American cousin... Even you!

  • June 22, 2007, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Indeed, MNG, I don't get all the Speed Racer enthusiasm

    by Ricky Henderson

    The cartoon featuredan overly effeminate man in tight white pants and an ascot. And there was a monkey in there too I believe. Why is this a blockbuster movie?

  • June 22, 2007, 12:46 p.m. CST

    MNG, there is a good story in just about

    by superninja

    anything.

  • June 22, 2007, 12:49 p.m. CST

    RE: "Why is this a blockbuster movie?"

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    It's called nostalgia Ricky Henderson. And it's the symptom of a dying culture...

  • June 22, 2007, 12:53 p.m. CST

    RE: "there is a good story in just about anything."

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    You're kidding right? ;^)

  • June 22, 2007, 12:53 p.m. CST

    Remake-a-go-go? That is my new favorite term

    by moondoggy2u

    I'm not so sure I agree with you about films declining--for some reason, I seem to recall a slew of horrible movies in my youth. Then again, considering such posters as Ominus and Pawprint and the seemingly like-minded souls who have "reviewed" this film, I find it very hard to argue with you. Still, they do seem to be only kids, after all. <br>........................<br>Until the next positive review that contains a laundry list of what not to do when making a movie, have a nice day everyone!

  • June 22, 2007, 12:53 p.m. CST

    Speed Racer may very well turn out that way.

    by superninja

    Highly probable. The point is, making a crappy movie isn't justified just because of the source material being a cartoon. Pixar makes great movies all of the time where someone like that Variety snob might consider the premise "facile" out of the box.

  • June 22, 2007, 12:54 p.m. CST

    Bonecrusher

    by DonMagicWan

    Why an I not surprised that Bonecrusher is LamborghiniCountacheStill#1's favorite transformer? _________ (I will say that it made me sad that the ol’ cliché that “the black guy always dies” is true, even if you’re a Transformer.) <--- Doh!

  • June 22, 2007, 12:57 p.m. CST

    There's nothing wrong with being nostalgic for

    by superninja

    good things. There is a lot of great stuff in the TF premise. The filmmakers got into this movie for all of the wrong reasons. There is nothing wrong with making money, but when it comes to entertainment I think that is a lame goal in and of itself.

  • June 22, 2007, 12:59 p.m. CST

    Quintus--there is a difference between guilty pleasure

    by moondoggy2u

    and out-and-out tripe. <p>Every review of this film, including the position of the producers, up to and including the director, has been that of a modern pharmaceutical commercial. "Transformers does not contain good plotting, good characterization, good designing, good acting, or even a good script. If this film is for you, please contact Don Murphy at www.stooge.com, or check your local AICN reviews board."

  • June 22, 2007, 1:01 p.m. CST

    Quintus_Arrius & ominus

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    I totally see your points of view. Now that the name calling has ceased. That really bothers me for some reason, even though I know good and well that it all in good fun (I hope). I guess I just look at film differently now than when I was younger. In fact I do. Maybe I am losing out on something, but I don't feel that way. This film just isn't doing it for me and I see so many better possibilities than what has been executed. <P> As far as guilty pleasures go, well I've listed many in previous TBs. I just listed anime (Godannar in particular - totally a guilty pleasure) which seems to get unfairly judged. Yes there is a lot of crap i.e. the shit they show on television for children, but there is a lot of adult oriented content out there too. Not just hentai and/or eichi either - you know what I mean. My guilty pleasures usually consist of Cary Grant or Humphrey Bogart films. I like Miike films too. Do those count? Or am I missing the point of a guilty pleasure film?

  • June 22, 2007, 1:02 p.m. CST

    Warning: Transformers may cause some side effects

    by moondoggy2u

    Effects include: nausea, sinus headaches, inadvertant hair growth, loss of hair in some areas, cramping, blurred vision, discolored nail growth, and anal leakage. Consult your physician to see if Transformers is for you. <p>Bay: "I love my transformers and it has revitalized my career. It could work for you!"

  • June 22, 2007, 1:16 p.m. CST

    Man, Anaconda is excrement. You are talking

    by superninja

    about one character in a terrible movie. That does not a movie make.

  • June 22, 2007, 1:18 p.m. CST

    moondoggy2u i am only a kid

    by ominus

    moondoggy2u i am only a kid because i want to be entertained with something which but its nature is all about action and spectacle? i love good cinema with good stories and good characters and i also love cinema with good fx and good mindless action.so i believe i am not just a kid,dont you agree? but i guess its better to call names,when someone doesnt agree with your opinion.hm now who is the kid?

  • June 22, 2007, 1:18 p.m. CST

    Okay, I missed the point. Sorry.

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    I like Rounders. A lot. So there's one in context. How about Nemesis or Samurai Fiction? I got it! Everyone fucking HATES Alien 3. I love that movie to death. Faults and all. I just liked how hopeless and fitting it was. That better?

  • June 22, 2007, 1:24 p.m. CST

    Yes, but good/bad. Like Barbarella.

    by superninja

    Or Time Bandits.

  • June 22, 2007, 1:27 p.m. CST

    Zardoz. Now there is a real piece of crap

    by superninja

    worth watching. :D

  • June 22, 2007, 1:30 p.m. CST

    alien 3 is a great film.the

    by ominus

    alien 3 is a great film.the only problem i have with the movie,is that all the characters ripley managed to save from the aliens movie,they all die in the first minute of the movie.i mean what a total waste of great characters. alien4 was awful though.

  • June 22, 2007, 1:31 p.m. CST

    zardoz wih sean connery?

    by ominus

    zardoz wih sean connery?

  • June 22, 2007, 1:35 p.m. CST

    Yes, he wears a red diaper in the whole movie.

    by superninja

    My favorite part is when he pretends to fall down into the prism chamber. Or when he wears the giant Janus mask.

  • June 22, 2007, 1:36 p.m. CST

    have seen it (zardoz) when i

    by ominus

    have seen it (zardoz) when i was 15.dont remember much of it.outland rulez though.

  • June 22, 2007, 1:40 p.m. CST

    I watched The Girl in the Cafe last night.

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Absolutely loved the hell out of it. Now I've ruined the concept of telling no one, but it's a film I wouldn't go out of my to advertise that I love/like/enjoy. Sappy and formulaic, but I heart Kelly Macdonald big time and the film just worked for me. Bill Nighy was freaking awesome. <P> Okay, I'm done admitting to guilty pleasures.

  • June 22, 2007, 1:43 p.m. CST

    Zardoz is completely terrible. It was trying

    by superninja

    to be an art film but is just horribly stupid instead.

  • June 22, 2007, 1:44 p.m. CST

    I like Bill Nighy.

    by superninja

    He was the only good part of Love, Actually. They should've made the whole film about him.

  • June 22, 2007, 1:47 p.m. CST

    Ominus--its okay to be a kid

    by moondoggy2u

    But there is a reason grown tastes are...grown up. <p>My guilty pleasures? The star wars prequel trilogy, Independence Day, Dune, odd numbered-star trek films, and 2010: Oddesy two.

  • June 22, 2007, 1:50 p.m. CST

    In my opinion, Road House is THE guilty pleasure!

    by moondoggy2u

    A close second has to be Short Circuit--I just love that goofy little movie.

  • June 22, 2007, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Dune is an awesome movie, what are you talking about?

    by superninja

    :)

  • June 22, 2007, 1:55 p.m. CST

    Now see, that's what I loved about Alien 3

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    The death of Hicks and Newt in the opening. Bam! Shock to my system as a young guy. I had already read the further adventures of Hicks and Newt in the comics, so this was just another direction. Now, you could apply that same "different direction" thinking to TINO, but it's just doesn't have that kind of "great new direction" for me. It just seems lame. Call me cynical, I just think the supposed "serious" parts of TINO could have been executed/written better. Regardless of if this is a children's film or not. The Iron Giant and The Incredibles are children's films. They were wonderfully written. I don't think it's unfair to compare the execution of those two films (animated) to this one (live action). The same care could have been taken with the story is what I am trying to say. <P> The movie is in the can and it's a done deal. The fact that sequels have the potential to be better is not a great consolation prize, so to speak. They could have started out with a bang story wise and effects wise. Not just effects. To each his own in the end.

  • June 22, 2007, 1:55 p.m. CST

    Amother good guilty pleasure is Point Break!

    by moondoggy2u

    Welcome to Sea World!

  • June 22, 2007, 1:58 p.m. CST

    Sorry, ZB, Dune was a bad film.

    by moondoggy2u

    Especially if you've read the majesty that is the original source material. That film doesnt work as a self-contained film OR as a literary translation. Still, it does have its moments and thats what makes it a guilty pleasure!

  • June 22, 2007, 2 p.m. CST

    grown tastes like yours?no

    by ominus

    grown tastes like yours?no thanx man,i prefer mine.and calling me a kid just because i disagree with you,is plain immature,regardless ..your tastes.grow up.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:03 p.m. CST

    well hewhocannot i guess it

    by ominus

    well hewhocannot i guess it would have been better if they killed prime in this movie. oh wait..

  • June 22, 2007, 2:05 p.m. CST

    dune was great,but it could

    by ominus

    dune was great,but it could have been better.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:06 p.m. CST

    Dune (we, actually I, touched on that in a previous

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    TF TB). I am a huge Herbert fan and a Dune freak. I personally thought Lynch's and Harrison's were both respectful of the source material. But, apparently, many disagree. I thought both were great in their own right and I had zero problems with the liberties taken. <P> As for Star Trek, I thought the seventh and tenth installments were great. Lots of smack talk about those two. I just like them. Oh, and Deep Space Nine is my favorite ST series. Bar none. There, I've shared enough guilty shit. I keep trying to stop, but I can't.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:08 p.m. CST

    yep i agree.ds9 is the best

    by ominus

    yep i agree.ds9 is the best st series for me.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:10 p.m. CST

    Dune;

    by DocMHumphrey

    Duncan Idaho, which is a great character and who is classified as one of the best swordsmen gets taken out by a bullet in one and a missle in the other version. A missle. Those types of liberties match up with him dying fighting the Sardukar back to save Paul and Jessica. Way cooler.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:10 p.m. CST

    Dune (agian)

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Everyone is talking about Lynch's. Did anyone see Harrison's?

  • June 22, 2007, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Duncan Idaho

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    I'll agree with that DocMHumphrey.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:16 p.m. CST

    Variety review is up!

    by stoopidDclown

    Okay...Jay Weissberg at Variety has posted a positive review of Transformers. Okay you buncha fucknuts....go ahead and claim he's a plant too. Course he is. After all, no human being could possibly enjoy this film right? I mean it's soooo different than the goofy ass cartoon. I'm sure there will be cries of "fuck bay" and "sucks cock" this and "sucks cock" that. Let the retards start yelling...........................................................................now!

  • June 22, 2007, 2:18 p.m. CST

    stoopidDclown

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    You apparently have not read this TB. We discussed the Variety review yesterday.....

  • June 22, 2007, 2:19 p.m. CST

    One thing that angers me

    by DocMHumphrey

    One thing that angers me about Dune is that they portray Paul as a psychic; as always thought that since he had inherited so many past experiences and became so intelligent that his 'visions' were just very intricate and accurate predictions. Agree/Disagree?

  • June 22, 2007, 2:23 p.m. CST

    I saw Harrison's

    by RevSick

    but thought the costumes were god awful. <p> But anyhoo, Superninja not letting anyone get to me or bother me, just had to pass out after workign a 12 hour shift. I just don't get the logic of the apologists, you show them that they aren't even getting what they're claiming they're being sold and they still "but Giant Fucking Robots!" I mean literally about 50 pages in a 300 page book if you translate that into screen time that's only like 40 minutes of a two and a half hour movie and that includes the big battle at the end. And even the big battle is mostly concentrated on the humans while the robots are mainly in the background fighting. <p> And as for the guy who says there's a transformer in almost every scene, I don't count Bumblebee as the kids car with no action and concentrating on Sam the whole time as having a Transformer in the scene. Nor do I count scenes like checking back on the guys in Iraq and just knowing that Skorponok is around there somewheres. If they aint on screen, if they aren't the focus of the scene they aren't there in my book.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:25 p.m. CST

    DocMHumphrey

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    That's actually somewhat funny. Funny you should mention that I mean. I totally agree with you. I always thought, hmmm, perhaps I misunderstood Herbert's intent since it was portrayed that way in the film(s). In the end I am stubborn and continue to see it my way (and yours) and let the movies stand on their own. I still feel they captured the feel and general context of his writings though. And I loved the casting in both. Spot on for me. Didn't like the Guild Navigator in Lynch's though. Just wrong.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:30 p.m. CST

    RevSick

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    The costumes? Really. While the stillsuits were better in Lynch's, I thought they (all costumes in general) were fine in Harrison's. Perhaps I am too forgiving when it comes to Dune. Were they just ugly to you or inaccurate or what?

  • June 22, 2007, 2:34 p.m. CST

    Harrison's also had goofy acting.

    by DocMHumphrey

    The guy that played the Guildmen acted like he was trapped in the C3PO Suit acting school. The actors all had weird pantametres to there lines, just a weird choice and direction from me.<br> <br>I always viewed the Guild as very hard line negotiators that knew they had everyone at their mercy. They weren't goofy Doctor Who knockoffs or Lynch's scuba team. Somebody give those guys a kleenex.<br><br>If Harrison would have used the Lynch stillsuit design and covered them with a good hood/mask/cloak. Would have looked better.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:38 p.m. CST

    Alien 3: Not so bad post-Alien: Resurrection

    by PUSSY ON OPTIMUS

    I have more appreciation for it now, after I realized that trying to make Alien 3 more like Aliens or even Alien would have been a complete failure, a la Resurrection. There's a lot more messages being spoken in that film, whereas Alien was horror, and Aliens was action. To try and outdo either of its predecessors at what they did so well wasn't going to happen.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:41 p.m. CST

    Yep, didn't like the acting in Harrison's.

    by superninja

    I just enjoy the Lynch movie, I think it's very atmospheric and the characters are all interesting. Fantastic cast. In many ways it reminds me of Blade Runner (I am not attempting to say they are totally similar). I would like to see Lynch do more of these kinds of films just because I think we'd get some really interesting stuff. I'd even love to see his take on something like Superman.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:41 p.m. CST

    See, that's what I love about this site

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Different views on properties that aren't littered with insults and barbs. That's why I visit here. I'll re-examine the Guild members more closely when I watch the films again. Even if I end up disagreeing with DocMHumphrey or RevSick, I will have enjoyed trying to look at something in a different light and/or with a different perspective in mind.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:42 p.m. CST

    There is only one Star Trek - the Original Series.

    by superninja

    DS9 is not Trek, that is a Babylon 5 ripoff.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:48 p.m. CST

    Alien 3

    by DocMHumphrey

    The directors cut was really interesting. That's why I liked the flick. The added scene were just right. Look at the one convict that started to worship the Alien. Really weird and out there.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:48 p.m. CST

    Pussy on OP

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    That's how I look at Alien 3 too. No apologies, but all three films were just different and yet cohesive in the same storyline/universe. Resurrection was crap. They should have createed a new set of characters, not bring Ripley back. There were so many comics to cultivate from. Missed opportunity there. How long did those people hold their breath underwater anyway (during the underwater chase)? They even fucked up a cool concept like that. Sheesh.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:56 p.m. CST

    I never saw.....

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Hudson Hawk, Zardoz, Time Bandits, Anaconda, Road House, Point Break, They Call Me Bruce, 2010 or Babylon 5. Therefore I cannot comment on them. Sorry guys/gal. They just don't appeal to me. I did see Short Circuit and ID4. Horrible films. To me. Outland was cool when I was a kid, but I haven't seen it since, nor do I have any interest in it. <P> The Alien 3 Director's Cut was wonderful. Really good stuff in there.

  • June 22, 2007, 2:59 p.m. CST

    zbobroberts & superninja

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Since you guys are fans of ST:TOS, are you worried about installment XI? With what these writers did to TINO, I can tell you I am already throwing in the towel but hoping to have my snap judgement turned around. What do you guys think? Too soon, I know, but what are your immediate thoughts? Briefly....

  • June 22, 2007, 3:05 p.m. CST

    live free or die hard

    by CazcadeCarter

    I read the disturbing opinion expressed by a certain writer about DH4. I some what agree that DH3 should have been the closing to the story how many times can this guy diehard and if the movie is pg-13 that would blow being that adults love die hard I'll hold my comments until viewing the movie myself. But I will cry if this movie is a bomb.

  • June 22, 2007, 3:12 p.m. CST

    The things that have really have my curiosity is this:

    by DocMHumphrey

    The writers for Transformers have managed to anger me in the fact is that you can go to Transformersmovie.com and watch their little on-line sessions. They basically say they were fans and they're a 'writing team', so why did they feel that they had to lie about aspects of the film.<br> <br> I give Bay kudos for pulling the President Bush, "I don't have to explain myself" line for the flames. He stood up for himself, but why lie about the lips, only to retort it later. These are the things that are upsetting me. As for the Don Murphy thing, I can't find any source to read about that.<br> <br>Can someone else least lay out what he said?

  • June 22, 2007, 3:20 p.m. CST

    Memories

    by DocMHumphrey

    Use this following HTML (without spaces) < b r > <br> <br> Use two at a time to form paragraphs.

  • June 22, 2007, 3:26 p.m. CST

    MOM

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Dammit, how many times do I have to tell you? < P > only without the space before and after the P. You can do it!

  • June 22, 2007, 3:26 p.m. CST

    Transformers could open up for a good Macross Movie

    by DocMHumphrey

    Macross. That is a anime / movie adaptation I have been waiting for...at least they wouldn't have to write in the dopey teenage love, it's already there. Casting call: Tom Seleck as Capt. Global;<br><br> Would audiences buy Minmai's singing that saves our race!?!?

  • June 22, 2007, 3:30 p.m. CST

    Or prehaps...

    by DocMHumphrey

    A true blue "Starship Troopers" movie. No such thing as a remake here. The book. Period.<br> <br>I was thinking of my dirty pleasure...it has to be 'The Postman'. If that movie was released today I think it would go over a bit smoother.

  • June 22, 2007, 3:31 p.m. CST

    Macross

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Transforming Aircraft Carrier! Bay for Macross! Joking aside, it's probably already in the works..... Will Macross 7 and Macross Zero ever get localized for the U.S.? I don't think Minmai will gel with the general audience. They'll probably make it some type of The Fifth Element love saves us all kind of thing....

  • June 22, 2007, 3:37 p.m. CST

    Macross Zero...

    by DocMHumphrey

    Yeah...out of all the discs I have seen they all have a different translation.

  • June 22, 2007, 3:47 p.m. CST

    Much as I loved Starship Troopers

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    I hated it too. Maybe someday they'll adapt it proper..... Heinlein is phenominal. Friday was an very memorable read for me when I was young. Since then I have read all of his future history stories as well as many others. What a great sci-fi writer. And funny. "Ring the cash register!"

  • June 22, 2007, 3:48 p.m. CST

    Bay to Fans: Macross designs too blocky and unrealistic

    by PUSSY ON OPTIMUS

    Flames and pussies desperately needed to update franchise. Lips to be placed on Valkyries in Battroid mode to give human connection. Rendering to take YEARS!!! Bring popcorn, leave brain.

  • June 22, 2007, 4:04 p.m. CST

    That poem

    by El Mamerro

    It's funny how whenever a positive review pops up, it's definitely gotta be a plant, but then that crappy poem shows up and it's DEFINITELY gotta be real! Things are more likely to be true when they align to my views!

  • June 22, 2007, 4:36 p.m. CST

    HeWho, I really don't care. It's just an experiment

    by superninja

    more or less to me. They screwed up the direction ST went in a long time ago, if they can't get it at this point then it won't be good.

  • June 22, 2007, 5:47 p.m. CST

    Poem

    by El Mamerro

    Well, it seems to me like what the reviews are saying ring quite true as well. <br><br> Also, the previous sentence begins and ends with the same word, which makes me damn fine poet to boot.

  • June 22, 2007, 5:47 p.m. CST

    Poem

    by El Mamerro

    Well, it seems to me like what the reviews are saying ring quite true as well. <br><br> Also, the previous sentence begins and ends with the same word, which makes me a damn fine poet to boot.

  • June 22, 2007, 9:04 p.m. CST

    TINO!! TINO!! TINO!! TINO!! TINO!! TINO!! TINO!!

    by finky089

    happy weekend everyone

  • June 22, 2007, 9:17 p.m. CST

    Megan Fox

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    I'm a sucker for a lady wearing glasses <P> http://tinyurl.com/25b8c4

  • June 23, 2007, 12:12 a.m. CST

    Did Megan Fox seemed stoned

    by Phategod1

    and when is that crap coming out.

  • June 23, 2007, 12:32 a.m. CST

    Of course she is look who she is engaged to.

    by superninja

    Shia is her new favorite person. Bye bye Brian!

  • June 23, 2007, 12:59 a.m. CST

    If Shia ever plugged Megan Fox...

    by Colonel Activity

    I would literally try to kill him. Dude is ugly and doesn't deserve squirell like that. I'd maul him like a bear.

  • June 23, 2007, 1:04 a.m. CST

    Dune costumes....

    by RevSick

    I just thought they were ugly, I had no problem with the still suits I thought with the tone of the book and films that the costumes for the characters where much better in Lynch's. I mean the garb they had the imperial family on Caitan wearing were attrocious in comparison to Lynch's.

  • June 23, 2007, 1:40 a.m. CST

    Shia isn't ugly but there is certainly nothing

    by superninja

    extraordinary about his looks. He might have some screen presence. Teenage girls totally dig him, though. I am not getting it. When I was a teenager I liked Indiana Jones and Han Solo, not Ricky Schroeder (Shia's equivalent).

  • June 23, 2007, 1:42 a.m. CST

    Dang. Shia's (pronounced: shy-ah) dad was a

    by superninja

    was a mime and a rodeo clown.

  • June 23, 2007, 1:54 a.m. CST

    another positve review

    by lionbiu

    http://tinyurl.com/2apy22

  • June 23, 2007, 1:56 a.m. CST

    read the script

    by El Borak

    thought the transformer parts were cool. there just weren't very many of them.

  • June 23, 2007, 3:42 a.m. CST

    Shia is ugly

    by Colonel Activity

    I consider anyone uglier than myself ugly. Therefore, he is ugly. Also, he fucks cats...and hopefully not Megan Fox.

  • June 23, 2007, 5:28 a.m. CST

    This will own the summer...........

    by ChadMaul

    Remember when Tim Story made a similar comment when the first FF movie was about to come out? Michael Bay doesn't need to say that. I am a child o' the 80s, I fucking adore the transformers, but this isn't the toys, this isn't the cartoon, it's the movie. I don't get precious everytime Hasbro re-package the toys to appeal to a new crowd, so why should my attitude to the movie be any different. Can't w8t!

  • June 23, 2007, 7:12 a.m. CST

    Started reading the script...

    by Pawprint

    D'you know what? Didn't have a problem with it. Haven't finished it yet, but I was at work and badly hung over.<p> Yes, the "Hey, you got a perfect day.." line was a bit cheesy, but none of it honestly bothered me.<p> Typical summer spectacle fare - no less or more than I was expecting from this film.<p> Well done to MicturatingBenjamin for saying in a few posts what I've been trying to say across about 3 TB's!<p> "Define quality. Superb acting? Brilliant cinematography? Set design? Script? I like Revenge of the Nerds. It was funny, and because it's so dated, it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it. I think that the Godfather was awesome, because the acting in it was great. It was a little doughy, but still an awesome movie. However, it's less an aperitif than a full course meal with all the trimmings. Which, my compadre, is why Thanksgiving is only once a year. I could sit down and watch 300 again this afternoon or Ghost Rider, or even Grindhouse (half of it anyway) and be cool with that, its like a sandwich and some Doritos...delicious, delicious Nacho Cheese Doritos.... But I would want to set aside time to appreciate a flick like Godfather or Usual Suspects or hell, even Casablanca.."<p> Nice one - I have a pint of Aqua Vitae for you next time you're on!

  • June 23, 2007, 7:29 a.m. CST

    Zanetti's Review...

    by Pawprint

    "what could have easily been the equivalent of a crowded and loud amusement park, full of attractions and rides to choose from, turns out to be a more unified and slightly more involving film than is the norm with summer flicks, probably due to Spielberg's aggressive yet welcome creative interference."<p> So it was a Bay and 'Beard' joint effort by the sounds of it.<p> Can't wait to see this film!

  • June 23, 2007, 9:41 a.m. CST

    MoM....

    by Pawprint

    Because, as MicturatingBenjamin pointed out with his useful food analogy; sometimes people just want a nice, spicy, tasty snack - not a full three-course meal.<p> Fair enough - you might be hungry again soon after the snack, but the point is that it tasted damn good while you were eating it.<p> Bay has prepared us a nice, tasty enjoyable summer snack which should satisfy our hunger for a little while.<p> It's the difference between a summer BBQ and a big, fat Christmas Dinner. Both enjoyable in their own way.<p> By the way - my brain cells are ALL in working order, thanks!

  • June 23, 2007, 12:06 p.m. CST

    FUCK MICHAEL BAY!!!!!!!!!!!

    by lost.rules

    AND FUCK ALL OF YOU WHO DEFEND HIM!

  • June 23, 2007, 1:27 p.m. CST

    Pawprint, maybe that script is okay to you

    by superninja

    but I find it terrible in terms of creating interesting characters and story. Now if you are filling in all the gaps with the ILM images you've seen, then maybe that's enough for you, I think we could've had a much better movie.

  • June 23, 2007, 1:45 p.m. CST

    Just the race steroetypes in it was an immediate

    by superninja

    turnoff to me off the bat. Then there is the shameless product placement, when they could've explained more about the robots backstory instead and given personality details. There is just a bunch of wasted filler faux cool stuff like the hacker plot. Sam at school, the Mikelah is the hot girl that dates jock stereotype time waster, like you need setup for stuff this cliched.

  • June 23, 2007, 1:52 p.m. CST

    This should've been a war movie if they were

    by superninja

    going to use a template. Not Gremlins or ET. or MOTU.

  • June 23, 2007, 2:19 p.m. CST

    well the reviews seem to be

    by lionbiu

    well the reviews seem to be much more forgiving of the flaws...I still won't see it because it just seems far too stupid for me to enjoy but I am sure my nephews will love it.

  • June 23, 2007, 2:52 p.m. CST

    MoM... Superninja...

    by Pawprint

    MoM; "even in my fast snacks i got for quality of products and, always my main goal, to satisfy my hunger. So, even in my snack movies, i always look for nurishment. "<p> Oh well you fucking would wouldn't you?! So you NEVER EVER sit down in a cinema/in front of the telly and watch something trashy, but fun? Schindler's List or Ghandi every time for you is it?<p> "The best two recent examples i can give is Casino Royale and Batman Begins."<p> Brilliant... you seriously believe that these two films - as good as they are - are going to still be talked about in 10 years time as cinema classics? I would fucking hope not; that said - neither will this one; won't stop it being fun though.<p> Superninja; maybe that script is terrible to you, but I find it harmless and it looks like the film they've made from it will provide me with an interesting diversion and a few cheap thrills. Where's the harm? And where's the precedent that it was ever going to do any more?<p> Superninja, believe me, I say this with an element of tongue-in-cheek, but that makes it no less true; I didn't notice any racial stereotyping in Bay's TF's script, but once again I DID notice some in the original TF's cartoon - which you seem willing to overlook... PINK female robots? Now WHY would a female HAVE to be PINK?! That's SOOOO sexually stereotyped!

  • June 23, 2007, 3:38 p.m. CST

    Fucking 'Goldeneye'?!

    by Pawprint

    Jesus christ... "Yes i have, but you know where the fun came from? Not from the movie itself, but from mocking it."<p> Righhhht... I tell you what; I give up. Yeah, Transformers will be a shit film with no entertainment value whatsoever. When I watch it, I'll take a knife in with me, and if I start feeling even the SLIGHTEST bit entertained, I'll stab myself in the leg. Just to make sure I get ABSOLUTELY NO enjoyment from the experience.<p> "Actually, Batman Begins is indeed in a serious position to became a classic. It already is a modern classic, and many people speak at awe of it."<p> Oh bollocks! Can the am-dram for fuck's sake - BB was a fucking good film; but by no means a classic outside geek circles. I know plenty of people now who REALLY enjoyed it, but a year or so on would have forgotten all about it. A classic is something instantly recognisable and iconic by most people right across the spectrum. If you say 'I AM your father' in a deep voice to nearly ANYONE you know, they'll know the reference; same as "Yipee-Kay-Ay, Motherfucker!", or "My preciousssss" or someone rolling under a closing door, just making it and rolling back for their hat.<p> These scenes and phrases are all part of the cuurency of pop culture and are widely recognised. What the fuck is iconic or classic about Goldeneye?!Or Batman Begins? BATMAN is classic and iconic - BB is not. Try whistling the BB theme, followed by the 60's TV theme and see which is recognised...<p> "Which seems a concept you have a hard time understanding,t hat FUN and QUALITY co-exists. In fac,t they are sinimimous. "<p> Bollocks. Schindler's List is a quality film, but pretty fucking far from fun. I found Mortal Kombat to be a fun film, but that's pretty fucking far from quality. So to say fun and quality are synonymous is horse-shite.<p> TF's looks so far - to me - to be fun, entertaining fare. As for quality? Dunno, I'll make that judgement when I've seen it. But at the moment it doesn't LOOK sub-standard.

  • June 23, 2007, 3:44 p.m. CST

    You should say it totally tongue in cheek because

    by superninja

    it's your worst arguement. :) No asked for pink robots in a TF live action movie except for people hanging out on the producer's message boards sucking up to the filmmakers. No one here has. If you're going to fill a movie about giant robots punching each other with human characters, you could at least not draw from the most asnine stereotypes.

  • June 23, 2007, 3:46 p.m. CST

    I mean, putting the President of the US in a TF

    by superninja

    movie? Snooze.... Are we still in the 80s?

  • June 23, 2007, 3:51 p.m. CST

    If they wanted to put a hacker character in it

    by superninja

    they could've made Sam one character and made the hacker chick another character who get caught up in the conflict and the hacker chick gets bought by the Decepticons. Which would eliminate the need for the crappy Frenzy character sneaking onto Air Force One.

  • June 23, 2007, 3:51 p.m. CST

    Superninja...

    by Pawprint

    Sorry! I REALLY had to use that though; just couldn't help myself!<p> Seriously though - I didn't notice any racial stereotyping. The only stereotype I really noticed (more cliche actually) was the married soldier's 'perfect day' remark. That's been done BIG TIME - in one way or another - in just about ANY film featuring soldiers away from home.<p> What's so bad about the President being in the film?! If something like this went down in the UK, I'd like to think the PM would at least be notified!

  • June 23, 2007, 3:54 p.m. CST

    Frenzy... Dunno...

    by Pawprint

    Maybe that's the filmmaker's attempt at showing how much of a threat the Decepticons are on many levels - ie; they don't just wade in and blow shit up; they can be insidious too...

  • June 23, 2007, 3:59 p.m. CST

    What I am getting at is that I wanted to see

    by superninja

    the Autobots and Decepticons attempt to persuade the audience. I wanted to see the Machiavellian Megatron ply people and nations with his appeals to greed and brute force and Optimus Prime to persuade only a handful with his sense of justice and willingness to bear hardship to help others that engenders real loyalty. <p> I wanted to see robots switch sides based on their being stranded on Earth changing the rules of the conflict and being torn between their hatred of each other and wanting to get home. Both sides plotting against each other and devising military strategies to get the upper hand or frustrate the other. A war movie.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:06 p.m. CST

    The sunglasses McGuffin is just terrible. And

    by superninja

    instantly derivative of National Treasure. Having giant robots look for spectacles to find their freakin' god cube is pitiful plot execution. <p> Frenzy just comes across as silly in the script, I'm sure he will onscreen as well. Orginally that was going to be Soundwave, they just changed the name after the fans complained. <p> I seriously do not believe you when you say you missed the race stereotypes. Not that they are not found in almost every Bay film, but they're glaringly obvious. Particularly hispanic and black.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:08 p.m. CST

    Superninja....

    by Pawprint

    Fine, but they only had a limited space in which to do this. Remember, YOU know your TF's inside out; the new generation doesn't - and this is who the film is aimed at.<p> So the filmmakers have to set not only the backstory of the robots, but also the catalyst for the film (search for mcguffin), introduce the principle human players and flesh(!) them out too, plus squeeze in as much action as they logically could, and then wrap it up in a conclusion (leaving the door open for a sequel).<p> Let me put it this way; I reckon this film is just the set-up; Megatron will be back, and the sequel will be balls-to-the-wall war.<p> Look at LOTR - first film: action-lite; second: increase in action, leads to Helm's Deep; third film: story all set up, LOADS of action.<p> BTW - did Autobots & Decepticons switch sides in the cartoon?

  • June 23, 2007, 4:13 p.m. CST

    They did in Beast Wars, I believe, but not in the

    by superninja

    G1 cartoons, unless they were just faking it. <p> I understand what the filmmakers had to accomplish, I still think the thrust of the story is poor and totally meaningless. There was no need to introduce all of those human characters, most of who are never developed anyway. <p> As for a sequel, who cares? More robots punching each other, I think this movie covers that.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:15 p.m. CST

    Transformers 2

    by superninja

    More punching, this time with new and bigger robots! <p> Uh, but what about the story? <p> More human characters, this time we got John Malkovitch to sell his soul to play Dr. Arkeville.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:16 p.m. CST

    Sunglasses McGuffin...

    by Pawprint

    Again, didn't really bother me. I actually found that to be an interesting way of introducing the McGuffin - I can poke MANY holes in it if I dig too deep, but I'm happy to take these things at face value as long as the overall package entertains.<p> You see, I genuinely could not get excited by things like their being an engine under BumbleBee's bonnet, and nor will it ruin the film for me. Same as flames on Optimus. It's ALL ludicrous anyway if you over-analyse it; the Bay film, the cartoon, the comics - all of it. But as long as I'm entertained I can forgive most things.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:20 p.m. CST

    It's a fantasy movie, but even a fantasy must

    by superninja

    operate under the logic of its own premise. Spectacles having a map location etched on them by an alien god cube or having a human character basically pull the plug on the main villain is both boring and anti-climactic.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:25 p.m. CST

    The script is just a jumble of cliches thrown together

    by superninja

    of things the writers percieve as having worked in other Bay/Speilberg movies. That's also my worry about Indy 4, that it's going to be more formulaic crap.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:27 p.m. CST

    Human Characters...

    by Pawprint

    "There was no need to introduce all of those human characters, most of who are never developed anyway."<p> Well, considering the film is set on Earth, there would have to be at LEAST one or two! ;-)<p> But seriously, this couldn't happen on Earth without any human involvement could it?<p> All the filmmakers are doing is showing the story from a human perspective, and how humans are effected by it.<p> Imagine if Speilberg had decided to include elements of the story from one of the background soldiers, as well as following the reporter we see at the crashed plane... that's all I see this as.<p> It's important to include a human element, I think.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:28 p.m. CST

    Well, I'm with you on Indy 4...

    by Pawprint

    There wasn't even a need for Indy 3, IMO.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:28 p.m. CST

    MNG said that Speed Racer is going to be crap

    by superninja

    because the cartoon was crap. But why? Every form of entertainment is either based on some form of mythology or reality, or a combination of the two. They are just ideas and archtypes, you can make a meaningful story out of anything, with any character, no matter how fantastic or absurd they may seem. There is really no excuse for bad stories other than the desire to either make money or to sell you bad ideas.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:30 p.m. CST

    Speilberg's War of the Worlds...

    by Pawprint

    "Imagine if Speilberg had decided to include elements of the story from one of the background soldiers, as well as following the reporter we see at the crashed plane... that's all I see this as." <p> I meant War of the Worlds...

  • June 23, 2007, 4:35 p.m. CST

    superninja

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Some of what you suggest as being what you would have liked to have seen in a TFer movie sounds great. There is just no way in hell you can jam it all into the movie that is supposed to introduce a franchise.<P>More and more you seem like someone who wants an entire season (or two) of cartoons stuffed into one 2-hour movie. It's not exactly a fair expectation nor is it conducive to the human perspective element of the film.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:36 p.m. CST

    Pawprint, having a human element is fine, of course.

    by superninja

    But there are ten or more human characters in the film. Most of these characters could've remained nameless and nondescript and they could've focused on two of them to make them really well fleshed-out characters. Bernie Mac's character, the hacker and her sidekick, the soldiers, all totally unnecessesary to the story they actually created here.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:36 p.m. CST

    Have only been peripherally aware of...

    by Pawprint

    Speed Racer.<p> 'Crap', is just an opinion. But generally speaking, you can't polish a turd.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:39 p.m. CST

    MNG, what I outlined was fairly simplistic.

    by superninja

    I really don't see how that is 2 seasons worth of anything. It's all character introduction, the whole plot could've revolved around Megatron attempting to take over the US power supply ending at the dam, like season 1. :)

  • June 23, 2007, 4:39 p.m. CST

    Well, from what I've read of the script...

    by Pawprint

    I think the human elements CAN be justified:<p> Soldiers are there to show the military perspective - how we are physically fighting the Decepticons, the hackers are there to show the OTHER side of the defense, and Shia is the 'everyteen', so the film's audience has someone to identify with.<p> Bernie Mac? Fuck knows!

  • June 23, 2007, 4:41 p.m. CST

    Just got the heads up on sped racer

    by Phategod1

    This speed is the son of the speed racer from the cartoon and the car is the Mach six but Racer X will appear in this one.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:42 p.m. CST

    Indy 3 was cute, but I also agree pointless.

    by superninja

    And already rehashing the best things about Raiders. Temple of Doom was on the right track, it's just that the object and the script were stupid. Indy should've just been after an object that wasn't mystical, like the Cross of Coronado. Then Berg had to get all treacly with "save the children and the village, o great white hope." Icky.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:44 p.m. CST

    That is not true, that would make John Goodman

    by superninja

    Speed Racer. Come on, dude.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:46 p.m. CST

    See, when ToD came out....

    by Pawprint

    I was only ten! So, it was right up my street; lots of humour, smattering of horror, lots of peril - just like Raiders.<p> It's only as I got older I recognised the treacle-iness, and the Indy/Short Round father/son dynamic. Still didn't ruin it for me though.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:48 p.m. CST

    The Berg just got cheezy, probably when he

    by superninja

    had kids just like Lucas.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:49 p.m. CST

    Fucking Kids ruin EVERYTHING...

    by Pawprint

    Especially GL's creative decision-making processes..

  • June 23, 2007, 4:50 p.m. CST

    Or maybe it was when he became successful

    by superninja

    and started surround himself with yes men? What if his kids are his yes men? I mean, I bet his kids run him, just like Lucas.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:50 p.m. CST

    Speed Racer...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...is going to be crap because the original material is crap. It's exactly the same scenario with "Thundercats" or any other nostalgic property built upon a shaky premise, laughable execution, and the inability to rise above Saturday morning-cartoon fare or toy advertisement.<P>"Transformers" is unique in the sense that it was able to change (pun intended) and evolve within several mediums. As the years went by, it was able to obtain new fans of ALL AGES through different designs and character incarnations.<P>This live action movie is a logical extension of that fact.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:51 p.m. CST

    Kids are fine, it's when stupid adults start thinking

    by superninja

    kids are the wisest among us instead of realizing they are supposed to be teaching kids stuff and not the other way around.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:53 p.m. CST

    THAT would not suprise me one bit...

    by Pawprint

    Problem is GL had Yes Men AS WELL as kids.... (Rick McCallum).<p> I bet during the course of PT filming McCallum lost count of the amount of times he had to grit his teeth and say, "Think about the money, think about the money.."

  • June 23, 2007, 4:55 p.m. CST

    Is Star Wars crap, too?

    by superninja

    Thundercats is basically the same idea, just dressed differently. Speed Racer is just James Bond for kids with racing as the backdrop instead of international espionage.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:56 p.m. CST

    Cartoons to Film...

    by Pawprint

    MNG makes good points there.<p> At best, Thundercats will be an interesting diversion - but it won't be a classic, by its very nature. It's a basically silly premise.<p> Unless of course they make some HUGE changes... Flames on Lion-O?!

  • June 23, 2007, 4:57 p.m. CST

    And when I say kids, I mean all-ages, not dumbed

    by superninja

    down for idiots. It just isn't loaded with sex and violence.

  • June 23, 2007, 4:57 p.m. CST

    Just as I'm about to go to bed...

    by Pawprint

    You start with the good stuff!<p> Ah, well... night all!

  • June 23, 2007, 5:01 p.m. CST

    You know what's a bad MacGuffin?

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    The Autobot Matrix of Leadership. Nice how they conveniently introduced that one in the '86 animated film just in time for Prime to bite it, huh?<P>And the Decepticons weren't smart enough to create their own Decepticon Matrix of Leadership? Do you think if Megatron had been aware of Prime's little all-powerful MacGuffin he would have wasted his time with Energon Cubes, the Space Bridge, or any other one of his lame brain masterplans? Even the explanation of what the damn thing was versus what it was capable of doing was ludicrous.

  • June 23, 2007, 5:08 p.m. CST

    RE: "Is Star Wars crap, too?"

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Superninja, that's kind of a silly question! The first time we saw anything called "Star Wars" was in the movie theater back in 1977. You either liked it then or you didn't. I'll tell you what though, the prequels are CRAP. Lucas had an already established, legendary premise; a base story that was about as solid as they come. Guess what happened when he revisited the property? He failed. He ruined the mythology, introduced pointless characters, and short-changed other ones.<P>I think the prequels have cast a slim shadow over the OT and dumbed down the franchise overall.

  • June 23, 2007, 5:09 p.m. CST

    I agree, the Matrix of Leadership is bad plot device.

    by superninja

    Bet you didn't think I'd say that, huh? Very goofy and very Japanese if you ask me (spirits of the ancestors defeat Unicron and provide magical leadership powers? Ugh.). Part of my problem with a lot of anime. For instance, I am slightly addicted to Inuyasha, but I only started watching it because I thought it was achingly stupid and nonsensical and still do, but it's also kind of funny.

  • June 23, 2007, 5:11 p.m. CST

    Nah, the OT is still great.

    by superninja

    The prequels are pure crap and make me question how much Lucas had if he ever really even had it. I think perhaps he surrounded himself with really talented people. He is probably a great ideas person, but should'nt attempt to execute his own ideas.

  • June 23, 2007, 5:24 p.m. CST

    Anyway, Star Wars is not crap it's a neat

    by superninja

    little repackaged myth. And in defense of Megatron, he is not religious, so would have no interest in the Matrix until motivated by Unicron. He makes fun of the Autobots for being religious in the movie.

  • June 23, 2007, 5:28 p.m. CST

    Never said "Star Wars" was crap...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...just the prequels.<P>I don't recall "religion" ever entering the story of the Transformers. As for the Matrix, WE didn't even know it existed until Prime removed it and gave it to Ultra Magnus.<P>When does Megatron make fun of the Autobots for being religious? I don't recall that at all.

  • June 23, 2007, 5:38 p.m. CST

    "Such heroic nonsense", as he blasts Ironhide.

    by superninja

    "Why throw away your life so recklessly?" to which Prime retorts he should ask himself that question.

  • June 23, 2007, 5:40 p.m. CST

    OK superninja...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...those scenes and lines have nothing to do with religion. That's just valiant/heroic good guys vs. evil/diabolical bad guys.

  • June 23, 2007, 5:42 p.m. CST

    The Matrix is like a connection to their creative

    by superninja

    force or god. I think it caused more problems by introducing it. Unicron is like a demon or evil spirit, it is all very Japanese. I preferred them just being a cool way to tell stories about the human condition and not trying to get too deep into it. It's like Star Wars where they started pick apart the color of the lightsabers and which powers do the Sith vs. Jedi have? Who cares, man?

  • June 23, 2007, 5:44 p.m. CST

    So you have no problems with 'The Matrix'?

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    But think the allspark is a stupid idea? They're exactly the same thing just given a different look and a different name.

  • June 23, 2007, 5:48 p.m. CST

    Just to clarify here

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    The Matrix is more than just the spirit of the Transformers god, it was infact the device used to give life to Transformers. The cartoon never adressed the issue properly but did mention it. The comic did go into details which is why Megatron was forever capturing Primes head to make new decepticons. The AllSpark, from what I gather from the prequel comic, is exactly the same device under a new name. Whaddya know? Those Orci and Kurtzman guys DID read the comic.

  • June 23, 2007, 5:51 p.m. CST

    MNG, okay, that's fine, perhaps I am reaching

    by superninja

    but if you examine the philosophies in the movie I think you might agree that it sets it up as a religious vs non-religious conflict. I am talking about the movie here (the t.v. show was more good vs evil and did'nt get into it).

  • June 23, 2007, 5:53 p.m. CST

    RE: "The Matrix is like a connection..."

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Sounds like you're confusing the Matrix story with different mediums that amended the story later on. In the G1 movie and cartoon, The Matrix was simply the "wisdom of past Autobot leaders" downloaded into a single "device". No god was involved.<P>Unicron's origins have apparently been changed over time as well. Ultimately, he's become an albatross of the franchise. No biggie though.

  • June 23, 2007, 5:53 p.m. CST

    AllSeeiingEye, me and MNG were actually

    by superninja

    in agreement that the Matrix was always a dumb idea and were discussing it, that's all.

  • June 23, 2007, 5:55 p.m. CST

    MNG is it like ancestor worship but it could also

    by superninja

    give life force to animate robots, so I would call that a god force. Which is common in Japanese storytelling.

  • June 23, 2007, 6 p.m. CST

    "Till all are one"

    by superninja

    Eastern religious philosophy. Everything has some kind of idea behind it.

  • June 23, 2007, 6:05 p.m. CST

    Are you kidding me?

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    'Till all are one' refers to the end of the civil war; when there are no more Autobots or Decepticons, just Transformers. It has absolutely NO religious connotations or undertones. It's no where near as deep as you're giving it credit.

  • June 23, 2007, 6:13 p.m. CST

    Still wouldn't call it religion though.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    If the Matrix later morphed into a device used to create new robots, I could see the somewhat religious connotation. However, it seems more of an object of power and not of a spiritual significance.<P>"Till all are one" - definitely has a Eastern philosophical ring to it. However, I imagine the idea behind the statement is based more in the notion of peace - the day when their race (which had been fighting for millions of years) would cease to be at war.<P>It's really apples and oranges.

  • June 23, 2007, 6:16 p.m. CST

    Till all are one

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    Is as religious as "Remember the Alamo".

  • June 23, 2007, 6:22 p.m. CST

    It's the same thing as The Force they just borrowed

    by superninja

    from it, I am not saying it defines TF or anything like that.

  • June 23, 2007, 6:27 p.m. CST

    Ahhh But thanks to the Prequels

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    The Force is no longer mystic OR religious; those fucking Midichlorians!!

  • June 23, 2007, 6:30 p.m. CST

    Come on, AllSeeingEye, Prime making prophecies

    by superninja

    about the chosen one who lights their darkest hour, the collective memories of all primes who came before him? In the comics the Matrix was a fragment of the creator god. <p> Regarding "Till all are one", I guess it could mean until Cybertron is united, but why do they say it right after Prime dies? It could mean till everything is one like in Eastern religion.

  • June 23, 2007, 6:32 p.m. CST

    Yeah, Lucas really sucked all of the fun right

    by superninja

    out of the force. A real finger to the fans, that midichlorians bit. Still doesn't make sense I don't care how detailed SW addicts get.

  • June 23, 2007, 10:06 p.m. CST

    Memories-Of-Murder...um... WHAT????

    by moto

    Dude, I gotta say... you come off as being 100% full of shit. Saying that you may watch less "worthy" movies on TV, but only to mock them. Only to laugh at the crap that is made. What a ridiculous and arrogant statement. <p> The fact of the matter is, different movies are loved and hated by different people for difference reasons and different tastes. There's not one person who can declare that all that they love is the ONLY thing to love and everything else is beneath what they love. <p> There are levels of quality out there, but there are also levels of filmmaking. Some movies are created to showcase an action packed ride to make audiences laugh and cheer, rather than having to involve themselves in an extreme compelling and detailed storyline. Sometimes people just want to have a good ole time. Sometimes they just want to laugh at dumb jokes and dumb humor, thus the success of the early Jim Carrey movies. <p> Your idea of cinema is so unrealistic. It's entertainment. There are art house movies yes, but cinema was created to entertain. That was the whole purpose. So people could go into theaters, forget their troubles, forget the problems in the world, and be entertained.

  • June 23, 2007, 10:10 p.m. CST

    Superninja...question...

    by moto

    Okay, so according to a post or two above, you said "Temple of Doom" was on the right track. So I'm assuming you found that to be at least a somewhat entertaining movie, right? <p> But, you then go on to say that the problem with it was the script sucked. So unless I'm wrong, and I may be, you showed interest in "Temple" even though the script sucked. And you think the Transformers script sucked obviously, so why couldn't Transformers, despite apparently having a bad script, be entertaining as well? Even though it may not be the exact movie that you wanted.

  • June 23, 2007, 10:39 p.m. CST

    Moto

    by Big Dick

    You must be Don Murphy, you plant, Bay apologist. Only joking. I agree with what you say about the variety of cinema. It's hard to say that everything has to be "deep" when the first movies were images of ordinary things such as train going along the tracks, people working, etc. Now for some reason everything has to be a Woody Allen movie or something.

  • June 23, 2007, 10:45 p.m. CST

    Moto, no what I meant was that Temple was on

    by superninja

    the right track in terms of the overal concept and story, and that the script sucked and yes, it's a bad movie with some good parts.

  • June 23, 2007, 10:49 p.m. CST

    Of course you can make different levels of cinema,

    by superninja

    no one is arguing against that. Raiders is not trying to be Lawrence of Arabia, for example. But it's still a great adventure movie and well made.

  • June 23, 2007, 10:56 p.m. CST

    sw

    by El Borak

    i love all sw. call me crazy or deluded but i love em.

  • June 24, 2007, 1:18 a.m. CST

    Superninja...

    by moto

    Gotcha. Just needed clarification.

  • June 24, 2007, 1:20 a.m. CST

    And for this whole Moto is Shia thing?

    by moto

    Nope. Wouldn't mind working next to Transformers and frickin' Indiana Jones though!

  • June 24, 2007, 3:10 a.m. CST

    MNG.....

    by RevSick

    ....if you read my point by point through the book you'd see that the TF's are only in a slim fraction of the story itself, most of it is of the humans. I don't konw bout you but when I go to see a movie called Transformers I kinda want it to be about Transformers. There are at least five different storylines going through this thing, it's just a jumbled mess. It's like the writers were getting so many ideas thrown at them from all the different parties that they didn't do their own thing and just threw everyone's ideas in the thing and called it good, too bad it's not.

  • June 24, 2007, 7:26 a.m. CST

    Bay es gilipollas

    by CuervoJones

    Greeting for Spain.

  • June 24, 2007, 7:29 a.m. CST

    Like 300, you'd have to be gay to get hard from thing

    by CuervoJones

    Come on, 300 is The Gay Movie of this decade!

  • June 24, 2007, 10:45 a.m. CST

    RevSick

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Did you address me earlier with regards to the book? My apologies if I missed it.<P>Well, I'm refusing to read any point-by-point synopsis of the film. (That includes the novelization and comic adaption.) I don't want the damn thing spoiled in its entirety before I see it.<P>At the TFers fansites, I've already seen the people who have attended the advanced screenings (Australia, etc.) discuss the similarities between the film and novel/comics. Apparently, there are things in the book that are not in the movie. And there are scenes in the movie that play out differently than how they are described in the book/comics. I don't know how this affects the actual Transformers' screentime. But it's already been stated that the robots are in the movie much more than people were lead to believe.<P>You guys should read what the "ranters" over at the TFer sites are saying now that they've seen it.

  • June 24, 2007, 10:52 a.m. CST

    new spot at comingsoon

    by Monty 16

    Optimus and Megatron go at it sweet..oh and fuck you guys you want to create some sort of shallow,internet,identitiy for your self by obsessivly (and I mean obsessivly) hating a movie that you havent seen. <br> You throw out these inane arguments like comparing the mytholigies of Lord of the rings and Transformers. One is a literary property known and loved for generations with a rich and detailed world to draw from. The other had its hayday as a cartoon/commercial for toys..robotix,bigfoot and jem..Even the comic,which I owned every issue of, became a glorified toy commercial after issue lets say 45...it was after Grimlock and Blaster fought for leadership of the autobots on the moon. <br> It doent matter what anyone says to you ..it doesnt even matter if the movie is good ..the five or six of you attack this project with an unyielding, Republican-like zeal.<br> I wanted to come on and talk about the new spot where we see megatrons arm canon and stuff but know you guys are doing the same sad back and forth ...jesus...its made..its done, see it, dont see it, but get over it and get over yourselves. Say what you want about his movies he's out ther fucking making those movies and built a career doing so. The best you can do is try to build an identity trashing his. <br> Schindler's list...wow comparing a movie about transforming robots to a movie about the holocaust..I hope that was a joke..sorry to break it to you Optimus Prime was never the most compicated character. A lot of you have the right Idea but you want them to make transformers something it NEVER was..not even in the last movie. Whatever I can type till my fingers are blue...but I'm just not as passionate about it as you guys sorry you win I just want to see Optimus and Megatron fight.and happy to do so..thats what I remember transformers being about. Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons! The comic had much better stories than the TV show ever did..issue 17 and 18 into the smelting pool when we go back to cybertron for the first time was AWESOME and would have made an awesome movie...but I can totally see why they went this route..if you cant well godspeed. That's very sad, passionate ,close mided,self serving, sometimes funny,and yes very republican.

  • June 24, 2007, 10:57 a.m. CST

    Memories-Of-Murder

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    If you think Michael "Crash-Bang!" Bay is going to make a Transformers movie soley about a kid trying to get laid or that Bernie Mac is going to have more screentime than Bumblebee...you are sorely mistaken.

  • June 24, 2007, 11:02 a.m. CST

    damn the closeup of the ironhide

    by Monty 16

    transformation is nice

  • June 24, 2007, 12:16 p.m. CST

    Memories of Murder... the art of SNOBBERY

    by moto

    Usually I'm ready to bombard and bombard a person like you, trying to make you see reason that your opinion is not the only one that exists. But it's clear to me that your snobbery, for lack of a better word, is typical of your upbringing, thus you'll only see one point of view... yours. <p> I read posts and see people defending movies that I hate. Movies that I just don't understand why people like. But you know what? That's how it is. We all like different movies for different reasons. There's nothing wrong with that. Your insistence that the movies you like are the only movies to like because you like them and because you declare them to be of excellent quality is just asinine, ignorant, arrogant, and just foolish. And I'm willing to bet that everyone here at this site reading your preachings of excellence agree. <p> Why do you think these popcorn movies that come out year after year make so much money? Because people want to be entertained. Yes, people can be entertained by classics like Schindler's List, but there's a reason that that particular film wasn't as financially successful as say NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM (not defending this movie mind you... not a big fan of it), which quality-wise wasn't close to comparing at all, but entertainment wise it offered what people desire most when visiting the theater. Escapism. <p> When it comes down to it, the only issue I have with a person like you is that you don't look at other people's point of view and you don't understand that there is not one single definition of a great movie. It involves the collection of personal likes, personal needs, and personal beliefs. It's funny to see a person like you standing on your soap box like some dictator of cinema, insulting people's likes and dislikes. To top it off, Transformers-wise, you're judging a movie so harshly that you haven't even seen. In the end, who cares... but you remain to be nothing more than a snob who doesn't take into account anyone else's viewpoints. You are the end all be all in your world. <p> Let us all have a moment of silence for Memories of Murder. May he try not to take himself so seriously, me he see the world through other people's eyes for once in order to grow as a human being. <p> Yeah, I'm an asshole. Sorry folks, I just fucking hate snobs who belittle and mock someone else for liking and enjoying a certain movie. <p> And I love the Goldeneye approach as an example of pure quality filmmaking (enter sarcasm). You like it, that's great. I actually like it as well (although it doesn't hold a candle to Casino Royale in my opinion). But what an odd choice for your defense:) Yes, the image of Famke Janssen's character killing her victims by crushing them with her thighs is right up there in quality with Liam Neeson's heartbreaking plea in Schindler's List, "I could have saved more." LOL!

  • June 24, 2007, 1:07 p.m. CST

    You guys are insane with this war

    by Phategod1

    I wish There was a way bring peace to these TB's but I know it wont happen seeing as some people are here to actually troll and some actually are the lowest common denomintor but cant we all just get along.

  • June 24, 2007, 1:52 p.m. CST

    MoM is "irrealistic"!!

    by half vader

    Snigger. Yes I'm 4 years old. Ironic though that he talks about the "target of mockery". O.K. rip me a new one, I deserve it. <p> "Mouth breeder"???! Ewwwww!

  • June 24, 2007, 2:14 p.m. CST

    Fans are the only fans...

    by pwn3dun00b

    I beleive that Transformers will be an awesome movie, filled with eye candy and tons of action, but it seems that the only people I know that are siked about this movie are about 18 and grew up watching the show. I'm worried that the movies only fans are going to be them and not make that much money. Of course you have to consider the people that will just go see it and the people that will go because it got good reviews. I can defiantly see this movie making a lot of money but I don't think that there will be thousands of people lined up waiting to see the movie. -Pwn3dUn00b

  • June 24, 2007, 4:02 p.m. CST

    I was like "I would jizz all over that!"

    by Hella

    and everybody agreed that I totally would.

  • June 24, 2007, 4:03 p.m. CST

    This gets a 100% on the Suck-o-meter

    by football

    I don't buy any of this hype. And those five guys with goatees in Autobot t-shirts giving eachother high fives were retarded plants. I should've known this movie was coming out when the Big Mac I was eating yesterday transformed itself into a lousy filet-o-fish!! Fucking movie tie-ins!!

  • June 24, 2007, 4:05 p.m. CST

    Besides I have a tribal tat on my left bicep

    by Hella

    that is very similar to Optimus's flames. And I'm thinking of getting one on my back but I'm not sure yet but probably I will do it.

  • June 24, 2007, 4:10 p.m. CST

    I don't want to be "politically incorrect"

    by Hella

    but this movie is not for cunts or fairies. It's for REAL MEN so it's about cars, exploding, punching, Michael Bay's gorgeous sunsets, the friendship between Tyrese and Josh Duhamel, etc. Like 300, you'd have to be gay not to get hard from this movie.

  • June 24, 2007, 4:34 p.m. CST

    LamborghiniCountacheStill#1 is probably gay

    by septic sef

    "A lot of talk about if they could pull off the flames on Optimus. I was like nerds, PLEASE! It's based on a toy! It's not supposed to be Shakespeare. That's why it has flames, if it was shakespeare there wouldn't be flames but it's not Shakespeare so there is flames. That's just the reality of it. Besides I have a tribal tat on my left bicep that is very similar to Optimus's flames. And I'm thinking of getting one on my back but I'm not sure yet but probably I will do it."-dude,thats like the gayest thing since brokeback mountain

  • June 24, 2007, 7:53 p.m. CST

    So, you liked the tribal tat line?

    by Immortal_Fish

    How about the goatee stuff? Way better visual than fat kids chest bumping, don't you think?<P>It's true -- AICN will put up anything you throw at them without checking into it. Not "just about" anything. ANYthing.

  • June 24, 2007, 11:39 p.m. CST

    Any reviewer who causes "The Godfather" a snoozefest...

    by successor

    <p>...should have their right to critique revoked for all time. How anybody can call "The Godfather" boring is beyond me. Remember Michael killing Sollozo and McCluskey in Louie's Restaurant? Or Sonny getting gunned down in the causeway? How is that boring? Or the scene where *gasp* Vito and Michael talk about their family life and Vito warns Michael of the assassination attempt? Or the baptism massacre near the end? How silly of Coppola to include actual scenes where the people are developed into three dimensional characters whom you can care about?</p> <p>If Michael Bay directed "The Godfather," you'd probably have 50 Cent or Shia Lebouf playing Vito Corleone and have two hours of mobsters smacking hoes and snorting coke and shooting Tommy guns into cars. Not to mention about fifty billion incomprehensible cuts that make it impossible to tell that what's going on.</p> <p>Michael Bay is the worst film director working today. And I don't know how anybody with half a brain can trumpet his movies as high art or even good entertainment. You want the former or the latter, go watch "The Godfather," or "Jaws," or other films made by directors with talent.</p>

  • June 25, 2007, 2:01 a.m. CST

    MoM...

    by Pawprint

    Well, I could respond - but why bother when moto has said all that needs to be said.<p> You ARE a snob; I bet you're one of these people who listens to really obscure bands, hoping that they hit it big in the mainstream, so then you can tell everyone you liked them ages ago when they were good.<p> "Oh, and by the way, i showed your posts to an american pal of mine, and he swears that your posts detray, without a shadow of a doubt, that you are in fact an american pretending to pass as an english... and failing miserably at that."; Shit the bed, that is such a frighteningly ludicrous statement on so many levels! You're so anxious to discredit me for looking forward to this film that you're showing my posts to people?! Well, you can tell your American pal that when I read your post this morning, as I was sat in my British Army uniform, at my desk in Osnabruck, Germany, I had a good snigger to myself and wondered which one of you was the biggest knob!<p> I mean, if your 'pal', says I'm American and pretending to be English, well I must be then, eh? Done and dusted - that's me sorted.<p> Not only are you a snob, you are an intellectual lightweight, and slightly hysterical, by all accounts.

  • June 25, 2007, 2:05 a.m. CST

    Monty16...

    by Pawprint

    "You throw out these inane arguments like comparing the mytholigies of Lord of the rings and Transformers.... Schindler's list...wow comparing a movie about transforming robots to a movie about the holocaust..I hope that was a joke.."<p> Monty16... please actually READ the posts concerned - NO-ONE is comparing TF's to LOTR OR Schindlers List; they were being used as examples in various discussions.<p> Besides, I have probably FORGOTTEN more about LOTR than you'll ever know.

  • June 25, 2007, 11:08 a.m. CST

    Pawprint

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    Just ignore MoM, he's a total cockbite who just loves to see his own posts on screen; they must have just got the Internet in whatever shithole town he lives in. He said I wasn't English last talkback, same with another kid. He's a total arsehole of the highest calibre and the truth is, for all his 'high brow' opinions he doesn't have the first clue about movies. Total cock.<br><br>Infact, you can see how desperate he is by the fact he registered for a new screen-name. It's Successor now apparently. Nice try, shame your poor comprehension of the English language gave you away, "causes"? Hmmm...and this is the guy who supposedly knows when someones English or American. While I usually refrain from being so petty I can't help it in his case; I hope his fucking cock drops off and he gets some awful disease because, since I can't find him to give him a good shoeing, I'll just have to settle for that.

  • June 25, 2007, 1:36 p.m. CST

    Bay interview in Wizard

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Well, he certainly is an asshole. He even mentions a "study" of AICN talkbacks. Worth a read to those of you interested. A proud man to be sure. "laughing all the way to the bank"

  • June 25, 2007, 11:33 p.m. CST

    It was a typo

    by successor

    <p>In my haste, I typed a word wrong. It happens. Also, I'm not mom with a new handle. I've posted on a few occasions over the years.</p> <p>As for Bay, I stand by my previous assertion. Bay is such a bad director that he makes Joel Schumacher look like Ingmar Berman. And anybody who calls "The Godfather" a bore should have their pulses checked.</p>

  • June 28, 2007, 3:37 a.m. CST

    LamborghiniCountacheStill#1...lame review

    by Executor

    Is it just me or is that second to last reviewer, LamborghiniCountacheStill#1, one of the biggest douchebags I've ever read? Seriously, it's a wannabe Vern review with none of the humor. I'll say it again...douchebag. <p> p.s. saw the movie tonight, awesome summer movie.

  • June 28, 2007, 7:40 a.m. CST

    Just saw it in Sydney Australia

    by RadWon

    Have to say it rocked. Not 'Batman Begins' or 'Aliens' Rocked but it rocked all the same. Just check you hater, nitpicky ways at the door and go in with a clear mind. Story/Plot: Hmmm Wow factor: yes, killer CGI Action factor: yes, only one or two "what time is it?" moments. Acting: Not tooo bad. Shia was good. Believable but why is blondie and fat black guy in this movie again? Optimus Primes Lips/Flames: forgotten. Like I said check your ego, hate-it-at-all-cost, nitpicking at the door. Check it out. It's the new blockbuster of the (your) summer. Take a bow.

  • June 28, 2007, 8:16 a.m. CST

    Same..saw it at George St

    by couP

    Un-fkn-believablE! Transformers ftW! The sessions were all sold out here in Aus where I went, and it better make a crapload in the U.S., coz unlike the other three farces this year that have made a crapload, this actually deserves to. Bring on the sequel!

  • June 29, 2007, 3:34 p.m. CST

    drone sighting

    by dopepope

    http://tinyurl.com/2hnlaj Is this related to Transformer movie hype? Anyone know?