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Massawyrm Giggles At The Giddy Fun Of BLACK SHEEP!!

Hola all. Massawyrm here. God I love this fucking movie. Sometimes, just sometimes, you are gifted with a little gem of a film that is so much fun and has zero pretense about what it is trying to accomplish, that you can't help but give yourself over to it. Make no mistake about it, Black Sheep is trying desperately to grasp at being Peter Jackson's Dead Alive (aka Braindead), but the magical thing about it, is that it succeeds. This film is deliciously, diabolically and deliberately fucked right the hell up. I mean, it's about killer sheep (or zombie sheep), hell bent on eating the flesh of man while a ragtag group of survivors try to escape the farm they are contained in. How can that not be the plot of, like, the best fucking movie ever? Okay, so there I go off into the land of hyperbole, but what isn't an exaggeration is just how much fun this is. The key point to this is that the film knows exactly what it is. It's a clever monster spoof not unlike Tremors in that it both plays by all the rules of the genre while also having its fun with it. I mean, they're sheep. That eat people. While those that survive their bite turn into….wait for it…weresheep. Oh. Hell. Yes. It's a goofy, outrageously hysterical farce that grabs hold of you and says "You're either with this or you're not, but were going full speed from this point on with or without you!" There's homage. There's over the top gore. There's high comedy. I laughed, I stomped, I howled. This movie would not let up. It is actually the most fun I've had in a theatre all year and quite possibly the single best midnight movie of its era. What really sets this apart, however, is just how high its production values are. Usually films of its ilk suffer from a crippling lack of a real budget, but somehow, probably based upon the pitch alone, they managed to get WETA to do the sheep creature effects. So WETA added their demented touch, making these sheep positively deranged and looking far cooler than they have any right to be. This is a very special kind of kitschy cool that you don't find but once every few years. A special treat for anyone who is a fan of this kind of film, you should pretty much know now whether or not this is for you. If the mere mention of man-eating sheep doesn't send a giddy little geek shiver up and down your spine, odds are this will just be too silly and hard to swallow. But if you perked up at the very mention of the films conceit, then you need to not walk, but run, to the nearest theatre showing this. It's a film that begs to be shown at midnight at the Alamo Drafthouse with a pitcher of Shiner and 20 of your closest friends. You will laugh. You will stomp. You will howl. Highly Fucking Recommended. Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em. Massawyrm
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Readers Talkback
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  • June 21, 2007, 6:16 a.m. CST


    by darth girlfriend

    you shouldn't let your 7-year-old nephew say "fuck" so much in his reviews.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:17 a.m. CST


    by captainhamsack


  • June 21, 2007, 6:20 a.m. CST

    Massawym isn't seven, he just writes like a 7-year-old

    by splungiest

    And, yeah, he is the very worst thing about this site.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:24 a.m. CST

    This reviewer is the Dane Cook of AICN

    by darthuser

    without the popularity or charisma.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:28 a.m. CST

    I started counting in this movie and fell asleep.

    by MKiro

    Sheep. Were-sheep. Bah! I mean, Baa!

  • June 21, 2007, 6:50 a.m. CST


    by half vader

    At least it sounds like it'll be worth the lo-o-o-o-ng wait.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:53 a.m. CST

    I saw the trailer for this last week

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    I didn't know anything about it, thought it looked like the greatest film ever made, and then was very disappointed to find it wasn't out on DVD anywhere. Gutted, I was. Still, it's good to know it's on the way.<p>Evil sheep! How can that not be great? Greater, even, than Fantastic Four!

  • June 21, 2007, 6:55 a.m. CST

    P.S. Is Spandau Belly around?

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    If you're reading this, Spandau Belly, I wanted to let you know I saw Anything Else the other night and you were right. Very good film. Not up there with Woody's best, but pretty enjoyable all the same. I liked Biggs in it (even if I did want to slap him for much of the film) and Christina Ricci was good, too. Man, I loved her and then I hated her, which is a good thing.<p>Anyway, thanks for tip, buddy.<p>P.P.S. Sheep and that. Totally on topic.

  • June 21, 2007, 7:46 a.m. CST


    by Massawyrm 1

    You're actually still trying to convince people that you don't have multiple accounts? Nice.

  • June 21, 2007, 8:28 a.m. CST

    Clarify, Massawyrm

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Who is the dude? I'd hate to think it was me...

  • June 21, 2007, 8:55 a.m. CST

    Nope Frank,

    by Massawyrm 1

    It ain't you.

  • June 21, 2007, 10:12 a.m. CST

    Another shitty review from Massawyrm...

    by Err

    How long until we get an actual review from you?

  • June 21, 2007, 10:15 a.m. CST

    Oh and Massa...

    by Err

    I'm not a reviewer for this site. You are. I'm a talkbacker. I'm not supposed to be entertaining. You however are a reviewer and you rarely do that. You don't review movies. You don't write anything that comes close to a review. So the burden of proof is on you to prove that you can actually write a decent review.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:24 a.m. CST


    by Massawyrm 1

    What the fuck are you on about now?

  • June 21, 2007, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Sheesh guys, why all the hating?

    by brokentusk

    I actually thought that review was pretty good. What else did you people want from it? A complex examination of the plot? While I do prefer Moriarty's reviews to Massawyrm's, I have to say that Massa's reviews are the second best on this site. Quint writes about two paragraphs (usually) and Harry somehow manages to make every review disgusting, while also praising nearly every film he watches. I mean, I'm all for giving every film the benefit of the doubt, but Harry gives a lot of films high praise for the oddest reasons. Anyway, keep on truckin' Massa, ignore the bitches.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Peter Jackson lovefest on this site.

    by GQtaste

    You'd think Pete Jackson was the fifth Beatle by coming around this site! Everyone of you guys sucks his dick blackwards and forwards too much!

  • June 21, 2007, 11:35 a.m. CST

    I didn't include Vern on the list....

    by brokentusk

    Because Vern, while being a fucking hilarious reviewer, doesn't usually review anything on this site besides Steven Segal DTV titles.

  • June 21, 2007, 11:44 a.m. CST


    by Err

    In a previous attempt by you to review a film, you claimed that as a talkbacker, I was un-entertaining. You said that my posts were essentially childish and boring. The thing is, as a talkbacker, I don't have to entertain you, I don't have to be adult or intelligent or whatever standards you think need to be set for talkbackers. However, as a reviewer, you do have standards. Standards such as writing a review that actually reviews a movie. A bitch fest about why you hate a movie is called a rant not a review.

  • June 21, 2007, 12:11 p.m. CST


    by Cobbio

    Ease up on Massawyrm, all you's. You might not think he's the greatest reviewer ever, but he generally gives a credible, non-spoiler-ish, energy charged summation. I often disagree with him, but I also often laugh my ass off at some of his descriptions.<p> Thanks for the review, Massa. I saw the trailer for "Black Sheep" a few months ago and basically did a double take. Fucking killer sheep? The conceit of it cracked me up. Good to read it's actually as funny as advertised, with high production values. Those New Zealanders are insane!

  • June 21, 2007, 12:17 p.m. CST

    Ah, but err...

    by Massawyrm 1

    <p>a smarter man would argue that the flaw in your arguement lies in the fact that while YOU do not have to read ME, I do in fact have to read you as part of my duties to those readers with actual questions or legitimate commentary, and that it is not out of bounds for me to ask someone like you - whose sole purpose in reading my reviews is to illustrate how they are not to their liking - to be a bit more entertaining and astute in doing so.</p> <p>The fact that you have no concept of the varied schools of thought on film critique and review is best exemplified by your statement that I do this and you do not.</p> <p>I was just asking for you to be slightly entertaining so that I didn't just ignore you entirely. And you're right, you don't have to be if you can't be. But don't expect anyone to actually take your sorry ass seriously either.</p> <p>Come back and see me when you get all that sad shit in your life worked out.</p>

  • June 21, 2007, 12:45 p.m. CST

    Cobbio & Brokentusk

    by Massawyrm 1

    Thanks for the kind words, guys. You're exactly the guys I write these for.

  • June 21, 2007, 12:51 p.m. CST


    by Err

    See, you started out good but then dived into the retorts of 5th graders. I'm not versed in the many schools of film critique? What school of film critique teaches you to drop the "f" word in your reviews? And actually Massawyrm, I have to read your reviews. Do you know why? Because I like to hear what everyone thinks about all movies. But say, for argument's sake, that I don't have to read your reviews. You, in turn, don't have to read what I put in the talkbacks. If I entitle my post with the smart-aleck-y "another shitty review from Massawyrm" and you know that it is coming from me, no outside force other than your own curiosity forces you to read what I wrote. In that respect, your argument is flawed. At the same time, it is not out of bounds for me to start asking you to write something called a movie review. Your movie reviews do in fact suck because they barely form anything close to an actual review. For example, in your review of Evan Almighty, you didn't even or barely touched on Lauren Graham's character or John Goodman's character. You didn't even go into how Morgan Freeman did. No, in fact, you touched somewhat on Steve Carrell's character and touched on Wanda Sykes' character only for the fact that she gave you a chuckle or two. The fact that you say that I have no concept on the varied schools of film critique is an assumption and in posting that line you have indeed tried to make an ass out of me and also made a complete ass of yourself. You assumed that I have no concept of film critique but you have no proof. And you want me to talk to you when I get the "sad shit in" my "life worked out?" Dude, I'm engaged, holding down a full time job, and go to school full time. I am completely self sustaining and have been since I was 19/20. But please, Massawyrm, continue your little rants and your attempts to defend your pathetic writings, it amuses me and I love to see you get angry over my comments.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:14 p.m. CST

    I sure hope so soylent...

    by Massawyrm 1

    This is a film geek movie that I WANT people to see and get. If the folks in the limited cities get out and see it, we might be in luck. And don't you worry about me, my man. I've been doing this for almost seven years now and these angry college kids come and go. Anyone who claims to be happy, but then spends this much time on someone like me, who they consider to be an untalented hack, have deeper issues than I can ever solve. This is pretty much all I'm qualified for. But sometimes, on days like today, I occasionally like to poke the trolls and watch them explode. That was fun.

  • June 21, 2007, 1:23 p.m. CST

    I honestly don't recall, soylent

    by Massawyrm 1

    I saw this a few months back. Although there is one moment that I HOPE TO GOD makes it. It's so over the top....

  • June 21, 2007, 2:16 p.m. CST

    Experiment 626

    by Massawyrm 1

    Agreed. I'm praying that Harry and Tim have gone after 'The Tatooist' for Fantastic Fest, because I must see that motherfucker forthwith.

  • June 21, 2007, 3:15 p.m. CST

    My favorite part about Massawyrm's reply to Soylent

    by Err

    was how he pretty much took what I said about me having fun at watching Massawyrm blow up and seeing him turn it around and claim victory over the argument. Truly brilliant. I've never seen that done before.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:03 p.m. CST

    Wow, Err...I really got to you

    by Massawyrm 1

    Dude, one of us posted our life story in response to a snarky comment. Victory need not be declared. Troll.

  • June 21, 2007, 4:53 p.m. CST


    by Err

    I find it lovely that you are so taken with my comments considering that there are others that feel the same way as me and have posted such but you feel the need to respond to only me, oh ye who reads all and replies to all. Oh, and I see Massawyrm, so because I take the time to defend myself against one of your "snarky" comments, I'm automatically a loser? Hmmm...I love the logic behind that. I hope you continue to utilize such brilliant logic in your other reviews which people will continue to bash for the exact same reasons I have outlined.

  • June 21, 2007, 6:44 p.m. CST


    by BillyPilgrim

    Did Err just try to eat his own face? Err is more proof of folks not understanding wants and needs. You WANT to read the reviews you don't NEED to read the reviews.

  • June 21, 2007, 7:05 p.m. CST


    by Err

    I never once said that I need to read his reviews. I said that I have to read his reviews. It is true that it is solely based on want because I like to hear what everyone has to say about a particular film. I already said that, but nowhere did I say "need" or "want" or confuse the two. You might have inferred something based off of what was typed.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:01 p.m. CST

    Re: Err

    by Cobbio

    Err, you're not winning any fans at all with your OC personality disorder. If you are OC, I suggest taking your meds and then commenting on the film "Black Sheep," which means presenting your opinion unattached to Massa's comments, or you'll soon be getting banned for assholery by the AICN powers that be.<p> Your choice.

  • June 21, 2007, 9:28 p.m. CST

    Aintitcool = pussyland

    by leolo

    And without sex. Just people with PMS because someone likes gore, the other likes Bay, another Eli Roth, and a whole bunch of sissies that wanna preserve morality and McCathist jibberish. I think the percentage of people that have sex in a healthy manner and lives through this site is extremely low (counting myself, of course)

  • June 22, 2007, 12:07 p.m. CST


    by Err

    Thank you for warning me about the ramifications of posting an opinion on AICN. I was not aware that posting an unpopular opinion gets you banned. Thanks for that info. Also, I'm not on AICN to win fans. And not to mention where the hell OCD came from?