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ON THE LOT!! D-LIST!! BAD GIRLS ROAD TRIP!! Your Tuesday TV Reality!!
I am – Hercules!!
I can’t handle a steady diet of “American Idol,” but I can’t get enough of “On The Lot” (even when Michael Bay is guest judge)!
Last week was a good week for frozen-coathanger boy.
I gather the filmmakers only had five days to shoot their shorts, which goes a long way toward abating hatred, but not quite all the way. IF you know what I mean.
Here’s how I’d rank last week’s sorry lot:
1) Sam Friedlander’s “Broken Pipe Dreams” I think satirized bomb-defusing scenes. It looked amazing, but seemed fundamentally ill-conceived. What are the chances a guy would entangle both his sleeves in the threads of two hand towels the moment his engagement ring lands in the toilet? It was the best of last week’s five, but I think the whole thing would have worked a lot better had Friedlander simply framed the whole thing as a stress dream.
2) Hilary Graham’s “The First Time I Met The Finklesteins,” about the Irish girl who meets her boyfriend’s obnoxious Jewish parents, probably went in looking for a Woody Allen vibe, but came out looking like Nazi propaganda. “If I wanted an Irish girl on my food, I’d have Kelly straddle a brisket!”
3) Adam Stein’s inert “Dough: The Musical” needed a lot more dancing, and the only idea in its head seemed to be that the word “dough” could mean money or cooking matter.
4) Shalini Kantayya’s piece-of-shit (documentary? docudrama?) “Laughing Out Loud: A Comic Journey,” about the bald homosexual unfunny Indian comedian, probably should have had a laugh in it. “You have to believe in yourself,” the comedian advises. “And you have to be bold and be yourself.” Such bravery. Such insight.
5) “Resident cutie” Trevor James’ “Teri,” about the (Australian?) guy who fantasizes about what his blind date will be like, was badly written, badly directed, badly acted and punchline-free.
Here’s how the pre-voting went:
“Broken Pipe Dreams” got Carrie Fisher’s vote.
“Dough” got Garry Marshall’s vote.
“Laughing Out Loud” got Michael Bay’s vote, and the votes of the most contestants (four) not competing last week.
“The First Time I Met The Finkelsteins” was voted as least favorite by the most contestants (four) not competing last week. (I think. The contestants didn’t raise their hands very high.)
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Also on the reality front, I point out that something called “Bad Girls Road Trip,” starring three of the 10 girls from “Bad Girls Club,” premieres tonight on Oxygen, which I think is one of those shameful women’s channels. I’ve never seen an episode of “Bad Girls Club,” but the clips on E!’s “The Soup” always looked hilarious. Oxygen is marathoning, I believe, 21 half-hour episodes of “Bad Girls Club” today immediately prior to the premiere of “Bad Girls Road Trip.”
And I remind Kathy Griffin’s six other AICN fans that “My Life on the D-List” airs its second episode tonight. Kathy insists she is not gay, but I believe she could teach the bald Indian fellow something about homosexual comedy.
"On The Lot" 8 p.m. Tuesday. Fox.
"Bad Girls Road Trip" 10 p.m. Tuesday. Oxygen.
"My Life On The D-List" 10 p.m. Tuesday. Bravo.
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But wish the format was so much better.
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Jun 12, 2007 1:09:45 AM CDT
Project greenlight should have been the template
by talkbacker with no name
Not american idol! It's fun seeing the movies, but more of the film making process would be good. Guess it's zack's short tonight? That boy has talent and perfect for dreamworks. He's won it already really.
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and I'm a guy AND straight...(not surprising here on AICN, but for Griffin's fan base in general, I'm definitely in the minority)Mirajeff, I know you'll read this. I write you some stuff about the show I work on, and I got some more gossip! I saw a certain person expose himself to everyone in attendance at his or her birthday last week!write me back, brother!
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http://video.bravotv.com/player/?id=114961
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Why make us wait a week for the results show? and I thought Bay did a good job judging, at least he gave decent advice.
Dough ftw -
If you can't say it here, where can you say it? Come on, spill the beans, old bean. Who got their cock out? It wasn't Roseanne again was it?
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Well, they did shoot it in five days, but according to "Entertainment Weekly," it's not quite new, original content, but instead it's work they submitted originally, you can read more on that here: http://tinyurl.com/2gz482. But I really like this show, and it's a shame it's getting the rating's it's getting....
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the fact they have dumb downed the whole concept. It's like film making for morons. They should show the average person how you make movies, show them tv doesn't have to all be ameican idol vote off crap. God, they spend for time giving out phone numbers than any thing else. It really gets my goat, man!
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since in the TB for D-list last week I mentioned the show...easy to put it together and for me to get fired...it's not too risque a story, just people discussing balls and cisco adler and then deciding to compare balls...all while I'm setting up my camera! I didn't have any batteries in it anyway, but I still wouldn't have shot...balls are not nice to look at in HD...
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Don't let Harry hear you saying that! hehehe sorry big H, couldn't resist.
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Jun 12, 2007 2:22:05 AM CDT
Looking at that T-shirt.... you know with Rainn Wilson
by greigy just wanted to say
Is it just me or is he the weak link the US version of The Office. The reason the UK worked so well was that there were NO "Comedy Caricatures", these people were genuinely believable. The cast of the US seemed to embrace this and to be honest were pretty damned excellent. Except Rainn Wilson who seems to be playing a comedy cliche grotesque. His performance is out of step with everyone else in the cast. He just didn't get it.
You see we look at Steve Martin and weep openly at the mediocre trash he does these days. A great talent stuck in a mediocre film. Well this guy this opposite a mediocre talent out of his depths with superior performers.
Nothing personal just his performance (not the character) bugs the hell outta me -
I felt the same but he really grows on you after watching loads of them. But he is no gareth that's for sure.
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Once they changed to the American Idol format instead of the behind-the-scenes style, they lost me... and millions of others from what i understand. I love moviemaking, but that show is shit.
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Jun 12, 2007 5:24:11 AM CDT
I agree with most of what you said, WeinerPenis
by talkbacker with no name
I think the buggest mistake was letting the public vote. The english guy that got booted the other week had the possibilty of becoming a new Edgar Wright if given the chance and let's be honest, only Zack has the real talent to make it in hollywood.
I've said it once and I'll say it again - Project Greenlight is how you make a show like this. Let's just give the win to Zack and get Project Greenlight 4 into production. Man, PGL 3 had me hooked from start to finish. Even though the finished 'Feast' film was a bit fo a mess, the process of getting there has so fantastic. -
I hope tonight's show features the premiere of GETTA RHOOM! PART 2: HELLRAZER. It would of course continue the adventures of the Nerd in the afterlife, where he sees The Devil and God talking with each other and tells them to "GETTA RHOOM!"
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That's just pretentious and dishonest Anglophilia. Why don't you go watch about 30 episodes of AbFab and then NOT Mind the Gap and DIE.
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It's far from pretentious and dishonest Anglophilia. He is just a more realistic character in my opinion, bud, and made me laugh a lot more. I have love for both shows in their own way. No need to be zenophobic prick about it all.
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My favorite advice of the last episode was Bay essentially telling someone their movie was all style and no substance. Hahaha! If anybody knows about that... I'd say "damn you, Michael Bay", but I love ya too much, Mikey. With your long hair and "cool" leather jacket.
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http://tinyurl.com/36gzcr
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It's inevitable.
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First of all, it's Xenophobia. Second of all, British is not a race. Third of all, I myself am English.
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Herc writes about this show as if he cares about it. I guess he does. How did THAT happen? I tried, god knows I tried. And as a writer I found some of the first episode, though bad TV, very informative. But then it became, well, ass...
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That all may be true, but you are still a little prick, darling.
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Hercules is obviously one of those ignorant tools who thinks musicals are all about dancing, blithely unaware that there is a reason they're called "musicals" and not "dancicals": THE MUSIC!
The song was very clever and in the vein of "Little Shop of Horrors" or Buffy's "Once More, With Feeling" episode. To have more dancing would've interrupted the flow of the song, but a naif of the genre like Hercules wouldn't know that, would he.
As for the show, it's hard to believe that a pro like Mark Burnett has so badly screwed the pooch. They change the hostess from a nobody to a nobody who looks like a giant-sized Eva Longoria, but annoying. The challenge shown at the end of the 2nd episode was never followed up on in favor of the one-minute comedies and then they ruined everything with the drawn-out "results show" format which crammed 7 minutes of content into an hour-long package. And they wonder why the ratings are down?
And where the heck is Spielberg during all this? His NAME is touted, but he couldn't bother to show up to say hello to the wannabes in the first episode?
This could have been an interesting and entertaining show, but its execution has shot itself in the feet so many times, the next hit will have to go into a kneecap. Too bad. -
"...clearly, they were cast more for their televisible traits..."
Uh, yeah, it's a TV "reality" show. Have you watched them before? These shows are far away from anything real. They're contrived to make their participants "televisible". If the directors that made it this far are the best of the televisibles, can you imagine what those who didn't make it would have been like? That's why it's probably best to just watch a completed film, not the behind-the-scenes drama. Likely, not every set is as exciting and entertaining as a David O. Russell's. -
Hercules is obviously one of those ignorant tools who thinks musicals are all about dancing, blithely unaware that there is a reason they're called "musicals" and not "dancicals": THE MUSIC! The song was very clever and in the vein of "Little Shop of Horrors" or Buffy's "Once More, With Feeling" episode.To have more dancing would've interrupted the flow of the song, but a naif of the genre like Hercules wouldn't know that, would he.As for the show, it's hard to believe that a pro like Mark Burnett has so badly screwed the pooch. They change the hostess from a nobody to a nobody who looks like a giant-sized Eva Longoria, but annoying. The challenge shown at the end of the 2nd episode was never followed up on in favor of the one-minute comedies and then they ruined everything with the drawn-out "results show" format which crammed 7 minutes of content into an hour-long package. And they wonder why the ratings are down?And where the heck is Spielberg during all this? His NAME is touted, but he couldn't bother to show up to say hello to the wannabes in the first episode?This could have been an interesting and entertaining show, but its execution has shot itself in the feet so many times, the next hit will have to go into a kneecap. Too bad.
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Whenever I see inane comments like AnimalStructure's, it's always telling that while they're crapping on one person, they usually don't bother to submit which filmmaker's meet their approval.It's kinda hard to take criticism of one of the most successful filmmakers ever if it's coming from someone who spanks to his autographed photo of Uwe Boll, ya know?
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this show actually showed how these movies are made? I could give a rat's ass about a short film that someone had only 5 days to make. They are ALL crap, I have not seen one that I want to go tell anyone about. Yeah, some might be well made, and there are obviously some that are better then others, but in the end, they all are just awful. They should of focused every episode on the actual MAKING of the films, and the drama that comes along with that. That would of been more imformative and dramatic. As it stands right now, only watching these pathetic short films is as painful as stabbing my eye balls with a fork. Here is one person not watching that crap show again.
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I hate to see only the shorts. The only way to go and root for these people is to see to what limits they have to go to create them. It is so boring to see a scripted resultshow with only the shorts! We need to see the process. For example:
They should either extend the show to two hours and show both making of and the flicks or broadcast one episode each day. Every day we get a 30 minute episode showing how they try to make their films leading to the tuesday resultshow. Much like Big Brother. A daily update followed by one big show each week. That way we can relate to the contestants. Now they are just puppets of a scripted event. Abused for popular television. Showing their journey gives us at least the chance to care. At the moment, I don't care. And the host should say OKHEY a little less often, okhey?? -
Schindler's List. Saving Private Ryan. I SAY GOOD DAY, SIR.
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you'll find all he does is jump into a talkback, crap on everything in a nonsensical way, claiming something ludicrous.in other words: a flamer. he just wants attention, so like you would with a toddler, just ignore him.but do google him...for his "greatest shits"...pretty funny stuff, some of the things he's claimed. the best is that conservatives championed the civil rights movement while the liberals did nothing. that one was particularly insane.
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flame on, brother!as for turning down the reality TV gig, I would have been shooting camera, and also doing some editing on B-Roll...so yeah, I might have been working 60 hours a week. but more importantly, it was a shitty job. principles aside, I wouldn't have any free time or flexibility to work on any productions that I was actually excited about.you can call me a kid if you like, I don't care. I'm 27, I'm doing fine here in LA. I'm working a lot, networking, and I've got exciting stuff lined up. I just bought an HVX200, and I'm going to be shooting an indie crime film in Mexico in July and August with that camera, and later in the year, I'm going to be working on more stuff around LA. I'm working with an indie film collaborative here as well, shooting camera on a TV show, and doing freelance work for a PR firm shooting red carpet events.if that translates to you as "going nowhere fast", then so be it. everything else you say is nonsensical, so why should your uninforned, misguided estimation of my career be any different? bottom line, you're still just a crazy guy that has to make ludicrous statements just to get attention. so let's have some more. honestly, even if I find it annoying when you try to make fun of my life, when you don't even know me...I actually don't mind your senseless rantings about film. it's honestly entertaining. Spielberg's a hack? I mean come on...you're either a complete idiot, or you're jsut flaming. if it's the former, I wish you luck. if it's the latter, kudos to you for keeping the shtick up for so long.flame on, brother...flame on...
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On the lot sucks and AnimalStructure is a trolling goof.
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I saw one of Zack's ore lot films (I hear it's the one that got him on) at a film fest here in Vancouver and it was great...
I asked my friend who worked on the fest and she sent me this
www.crazy8s.cc
the short he did on here was all in one take... pretty cool... -
What a douchebag. His style is horrible. Fast jump cuts are tired and boring, asshole!
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I would love to be a working in director in Hollywood right now, because based on these pieces of crap, I'd know my job was safe for a long time.
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...tonight. Personally I thought most of them were pretty dreadful, but I did like "Polished." Granted it could have used some better pacing and the editing needed to be tightened up a bit, but compared to the other films, I thought it was the best.
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did someone get kicked off? If so, who?
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that guy marty is the biggest fucking bust off to ever walk the face of the earth. that is all.
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Which is a shame because it had a LOT of potential. You could go to any film school in the country and pick up a dozen kids with more talent than these hacks. For fucks sake, what the hell is that jackass Kenny doing on the show still? This show now has zero credibility, which is saying something since it's got Steven Spielberg's name all over it.
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Last night?
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Do you really think Schindlers List, Saving Private Ryan, Munich, or The Color Purple are the works of a hack? What exactly does studio hack mean...and how the HELL is Michael Mann not a studio hack after his putrid shitbowl of a movie called Miami Vice? Last of the Mohicans feels real studio too. And then...what is your problem with studio films at all? Good things do come out of the system you know. And just because someone words under it doesnt mean they are a hack. Brett Ratner? Yes ..hack. Michael Bay? Also a hack..but I dont think you can call Spielberg a hack. Your one of those pompous film snobs....bashing anyone thats not an irrational "genious". In the meantime your missing alot of good cinema.
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Jun 13, 2007 10:01:26 AM CDT
I find it amusing that most of AnimalStructure's
by talkbacker with no name
favourite directors think Spielberg is the man, yet AnimalStructure thinks he's a hack. hahaha you silly little twerp!
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Your approach to work seems pretty logical, not sure what Manimal has a problem with. What is "an ignorant film buff"?
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way to argue opinion. How old are you? You can say Miami Vice was avant garde action or I could say it was a good but ultimately flawed film, guess who wins? Both of us, you seem to have your period and in the mood to fight, maybe you should see a therapist. And since you have never met any of the people you speak of maybe you shouldn't elaborate on who cares about the film they made either. also, telling someone they have nothing new to a genre is ignorant as fuck, you don't even know what his idea is, why don't you tell every kid who wants to be a filmmaker to fuck off because whatever they have in mind has been done before, and then you could watch the same couple movies over again and again. You are the definition of a troll. I feel bad for the people you hang out with, it must be depressing as fuck.
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the results of the vote before she announced it? She announced the loser after the commercial break. But just before the break she was standing between the two who were in danger of going home. She said "after the break we will find out who is staying and who is leaving". But when she said "who is staying" she turned towards the woman and clearly looked at her. And then when she said "who is leaving" she gave a slight nod in the guy's direction. It seemed fairly obvious the person who was safe was the woman.I think last week's group, on the whole, were much better than this week's crop of movies. Marty Martin's was nothing more than his attempt to copy Tony Scott's style. And it was a poor attempt at that.Kenny should be gone. Half the time I tought I was watching a music video, the other half I thought it was a beer commercial. Perhaps if he had gone to film school he would have gotten films like this out of his system. Maybe he is wrong: maybe you do need to go to film school to be a director. I think he could have a future in music videos and TV ads, but not in Hollywood making commercial films.
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Anybody spewing that much venom, obviously has some bitter bones to pick. Ranting and insulting others is not equivalent to expressing an opinion. Too many people think "making movies" is about auteur films at Sundance...give it a rest. Anybody out their busting his ass to work real projects, from the bottom up, deserves credence. Screeching and stomping in here, with an anonymous name, does not. These chats have made everybody suffer delusions of grandeur. AICN used to be about film lovers communicating - not smart-ass, faceless dick-heads polluting the discussion.
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have you read his script? Have you asked what his idea was? NO. So until you have an idea of what he is talking about, you can't say its stupid, that's really ignorant and hating just to hate. You are the one yelling at everyone for their opinions on Spielberg, and now your saying you are allowed to have an opinion, you crossed the line of intelligent debate with your opinions and turned into flaming, pissed-off, pretentious film asshole before you even got in this talkback, maybe you should look in the mirror buddy, you are a hypocrit.
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Art Film geeks are a funny bunch. Damn those people who watch movies for entertainment! They're ruining the entertainment industry! Anyways, this show is really starting to piss me of. The judges are useless; they should have chewed the shit outa Kenny but instead they had to make sure they don't lose future viewers (for this show or their independent projects) by insulting their favorite "film maker." Carrie's odd aside about the hostess having a crush on Kenny made me want to vomit just a tad. Only thing these "film makers" are learning is how to tool it up in Hollywood. But I think the major problem is that the judges assume since the contestants are there they must be good instead of having them prove themselves every week. Even American Idol doesn't assume talent until proven innocent.
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Mann respects the Berg. I respect both film makers in their own right. You get no respect from anyone here (or in the otuside world I would imagine).
no more questions your honor! -
Know I have to head that one off.
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what are you talking about? I'm SHOOTING the movie. I didn't write it, and I don't expect it to break a lot of new ground. it's just a decent, $2 mil independant movie. it's a JOB. I bought this HD camera specifically to get jobs like this, lower budget films that want a decent look for cheaper. and a week after I bought the camera, I got this job. you simply have no idea how things work, and you make yourself sound like a whiny brat when you try to attack me in areas you clearly have no idea about.you're the same as a lot of confused TB'ers who love to spout off, but have no idea how life actually works in the industry. I'm new at it myself, but at least I'm here, I cna claim some level of experience. I don't counsel people on skydiving, since I have never done it and know nothing about it. but that is basically what you're doing.you're implication is that, at 27, having been in LA for less than 2 months, I should be making groundbreaking, jaw-dropping masterpieces? and if not, I can't claim to be on the right track with my career? that is so ignorant, it almost makes your civil rights/conservatives speech seem halfway logical.I turned down a shit job that would just be shoveling reality TV shit for a year or more. an indie crime film in mexico is a nice happy medium between making great films (which hopefully I will do one day), and reality TV. bottom line, as much as our opinions differ, and as much as some of the senseless things you say make you look foolish, nothing you say makes you look dumber that when you deride me and my career for reasons that are so inane and illogical, I can't imagine you actually believe them. I wouldn't actually believe you truly subscribe to any of your opinions, some of them are so outlandish and illogical, except for the fact that you're so smarmy and self-righteous, you bring it back into the realm of believability.by the way, I'm trying to get on a movie starting in September that's going to be edited by Julie Janata, whom I meet through one of my internships here last month. she saw a few shorts I had made, and I reccomended a book to her that she ended up loving, and she said she would reccomend me as an AC on a new project. do you know her? she worked as an editor with Micheal Mann on Heat...does that get me a pass, you asshat?
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pretty hard to believe anyone that works in the industry could actually think a DP doesn't have creative input on a project...then again, you have proven yourself time and again to be working against logic and reality, rather than with them...so your either a liar or an idiot...I'm kind of 50/50 on what I would guess at the moment. any more non-sensical statements you'd like to barf out in order to sway me one way or the other?
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I'm still 50/50...tell me more about your position in the inddustry, that should push me one way or the other...
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"Of course a DP is creative, but at the end of the day the majority of people don't know who you are, and you also take orders from the director and maybe even the producers. They seek your input, but you don't have final say. A director, or more, a writer/director is a MUCH more creative job than merely knowing about lenses and f-stops. But in the end, I wish you luck, you'll more than likely become yet another useful douchebag of L.A. But hey, at least you tried, right? Isn't that what your friends say?" ------------------- Without DP's, Hollywood would have nothing to shovel onto screens around the world. Maybe the DP's should just revolt.
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don't bother...talking logic to AnimalStructure is like spitting on a forest fire...
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...you didn't answer BMW's question: What esteemed job in the entertainment industry do you have that we can all aspire to? Since you seem to "know" everything about it and down talk anyone who even TRIES to be a director…or a writer…or a DP…what is it that you do? What great films have you made?
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come on man, fake subtelty is not your strong suit. I would love to write and direct a feature someday, I'm just not in a hurry. I have 2 shorts in a total of 6 film festivals at the moment (which I wrote and directed), I won 2 grants from short film work, and one of my films is showing at VisionFest here in LA in a little while. I"m also up for a Kodak Grant there as well. I'm not a hack, just because I don't think Spielberg is a hack. I ask again (even though the TB is no longer on the front page) what do YOU do, that gives you such lofty insight into my career?
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these shorts in 5 years. but they've been absolutely beneficial in getting work, interest from agencies, etc. if I get the Kodak grant, that will be huge.I'm sorry you're so disenchanted with Hollywood. I'm not very eager to get involved with it, I've been trying to allign myself with more colborative independent filmmaking organizations liek the filmmaker's alliance, just because they seem to be more devoted to actual quality than guaranteed money return. (or, ANY money return, in some cases). but your disillusionment is yours, brother. you can't assume that someone who comes along is necessarily a hack, just because you've had a rotten experience in the system.it just seems petty. and considering, as you say, you've given up on even trying to squeeze quality out of the system, well, it seems overly petty to begrudge me my shot.
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