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Capone Says OCEAN'S 13 Is Like Perfect, Well-Timed Sex!!


Hey everyone. Capone in Chicago here.

I'm not exactly sure why, but one or two people on the planet we're real big fans of OCEAN'S TWELVE. I happened to think it was a scream, and even upon a repeat viewing recently I was captivated by the free-for-all attitude of the piece. It was always my feeling that the whole point behind the OCEAN'S series is that director Steven Soderbergh and his marvelous collection of mega stars and lesser-known actors was this playful, unconventional approach to storytelling.

The scripts were always loose, while the stories were complex (or at least pretended to be complex), but the real point of the plot was to give the actors a place to show us that they could be goof balls and look great doing it. I love that throughout these films, we catch the ends of conversations or just the punchline of a joke, leaving us to wonder what the hell these guys were talking about that led them to that particular line of dialog. Forcing your imagination to run wild like that over things that have nothing to do with the main storyline is just one of the reasons I've enjoyed this series so much. Oh, and I should probably mention at this point that OCEAN'S THIRTEEN is far and away the best of the bunch.

Just to give a quick overview of the proceeding (the fun of this film is in the details, and I'm not spoiling those), the gang is re-assembled in Las Vegas once again, this time to avenge a swindle perpetrated against one of their own (Elliott Gould's Reuben) by the city's most powerful and feared hotel giant Willie Bank (young newcomer Al Pacino, sporting a hair color that scares me in its Trump-like manner). He's about to open the most ornate and exclusive hotel on the strip (The Bank, which is beautifully CG'd right into the heart of Vegas). The gang is warned that revenge scams are dangerous, but they are determined not so much to rob Bank of his wealth for their own gains, but simply ruin him as a businessman by rigging nearly every gambling game in his casino at the Grand Opening so that the house never wins. So, where are Tess Ocean (played by Julia Roberts in the first two films) and Isabel Lahiri (Catherine Zeta Jones)? In one line of dialog, we are told that this is not their fight. Nothing else needs to be said on the matter, and their presence is not missed.

I find it ironic that my biggest complaint about other three-quels this summer has been the overcrowding of their stories. But for some reason the fairly crowded OCEAN'S THIRTEEN doesn't feel too bloated. The characters are stepping over each other, and each crewmember's storyline is largely kept separate from the others as they work on their part of the scam against bank. By removing two key players from the last film (Roberts and Jones) and replacing them with Pacino and his right-hand bombshell Ellen Barkin, the cast size really hasn't grown at all. And there are a few unexpected players in this film, some of whom appeared in previous films and whose presence hasn't exactly been advertised. Do yourself a favor, and don't go to IMDB to ruin the fun.

One of the more impressive plot points is bringing Andy Garcia's Terry Benedict back into the fold as a part of the scam against Bank (the gang needs his financial backing). It's not surprising that he'd want to bury a competitor, but don't think for a second he's not looking for a way to get back at Ocean even while he's assisting them.

I've gone this far without mentioning George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon or any of the other regulars, all of whom absolutely rock here. For some reason, it's always Damon's characterization of the insecure Linus that I find most fascinating. He's so desperate to prove himself and rise from the shadow of his legendary, previously unseen father (who is finally revealed here) that he provides a nice counterbalance to the cocky nature of the some of his comrades. In other words, he's the most human. But putting Clooney and Pitt in a room together always makes me laugh. You probably have seen the scene in the trailer where Rusty (Pitt) catches Danny (Clooney) in his hotel room watching "Oprah." But that's just the beginning of a scene that gets funnier by the second. And in the film's final moment, which takes place at an airport, these two men deliver one line of dialog apiece aimed at each other that will make your ears do a doubletake.

I have to give director Soderbergh credit for getting a fairly subdued performance out of Al Pacino, whose volume rarely gets above normal conversational levels. The only thing scarier that a dangerous man screaming is one who isn't, and that's how Pacino plays Bank. Of course the film gets silly and outrageous, but that's part of its charm. It makes the ridiculous seem plausible and even preferable. I know that Soderbergh and Co. have said they made this film to make up for any shortcomings the last one may have had, and that they wanted to go out on a high note. If that's the case, mission accomplished.

But this is one of the few franchises I would love to see continue. Every element of this movie works in perfect unison with every other. It's like watching a well-choreographed dance routine or having perfect, well-timed sex. OCEAN'S THIRTEEN is as carefree as it is ambitious, and its nearly two-hour running time flies by in an instant. When it's over, you'll find yourself desperate for more. All sequels should try this hard to be great.

Capone









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Reader Talkback

FORST!
by vezner2007
Jun 8th, 2007
09:34:58 AM
I would still absolutely do Ellen Barkin
by Abominable Snowcone
Jun 8th, 2007
09:37:38 AM
it's funny you should mention that Abom...
by just pillow talk
Jun 8th, 2007
09:40:58 AM
Man, this movie scares me.
by GrantChastain
Jun 8th, 2007
09:41:07 AM
Grace-less
by Forrest75
Jun 8th, 2007
09:43:42 AM
Well-timed sex?
by Franklin T Marmoset
Jun 8th, 2007
09:43:56 AM
Yeah, 12 sucked...
by vezner2007
Jun 8th, 2007
09:44:01 AM
Capone has chosen BlueRay... here's why...
by NachoNegro
Jun 8th, 2007
09:48:01 AM
Just saw it today
by slfricky
Jun 8th, 2007
09:49:13 AM
Capone said what?
by ByTor
Jun 8th, 2007
09:55:14 AM
Al Pacino has chosen HD-DVD..., and here's why:
by Pound Sand
Jun 8th, 2007
09:59:15 AM
Hitler has chosen BlueRay..here's why..
by Lour Reed luvs Frank Zappa
Jun 8th, 2007
10:02:05 AM
Topher Grace. Stupidest first name, ever?
by Lour Reed luvs Frank Zappa
Jun 8th, 2007
10:03:21 AM
Pound Sand
by Franklin T Marmoset
Jun 8th, 2007
10:03:52 AM
Holy crap, Linus looks just like Matt Damon!!!!
by Nice Marmot
Jun 8th, 2007
10:04:24 AM
No
by Franklin T Marmoset
Jun 8th, 2007
10:05:16 AM
"Lour" Reed bags on Topher's first name?
by GrantChastain
Jun 8th, 2007
10:05:50 AM
Chastain
by Lour Reed luvs Frank Zappa
Jun 8th, 2007
10:09:11 AM
Franklin
by Lour Reed luvs Frank Zappa
Jun 8th, 2007
10:09:49 AM
Also
by Lour Reed luvs Frank Zappa
Jun 8th, 2007
10:11:13 AM
Finally
by Lour Reed luvs Frank Zappa
Jun 8th, 2007
10:12:32 AM
hey lour
by ByTor
Jun 8th, 2007
10:17:04 AM
Lour Reed luvs Frank Zappa has chosen HD-DVD...
by NachoNegro
Jun 8th, 2007
10:17:26 AM
Thanks nacho for proving my point
by Lour Reed luvs Frank Zappa
Jun 8th, 2007
10:20:20 AM
Xander Berkeley has chosen HD-DVD... and here's why...
by NachoNegro
Jun 8th, 2007
10:23:41 AM
don't go to IMDB to ruin the fun
by SlickyVonBoner
Jun 8th, 2007
10:25:40 AM
Clooney, Pitt, Damon et al...
by Lacloake
Jun 8th, 2007
10:32:33 AM
Sums up the Oceans perfectly
by Angry Golfer
Jun 8th, 2007
10:34:16 AM
Damn you Link!
by Lacloake
Jun 8th, 2007
10:35:02 AM
Lour: Topher's fanbase
by ByTor
Jun 8th, 2007
10:36:19 AM
Perfect, Well-Timed Sex
by palewook
Jun 8th, 2007
10:37:06 AM
Yeah, bullshit
by shitstorm23
Jun 8th, 2007
10:46:11 AM
Lour, we're not talking about the TB circle jerk...
by GrantChastain
Jun 8th, 2007
10:47:54 AM
Gid, God, whatever.
by shitstorm23
Jun 8th, 2007
10:48:16 AM
Topher
by JacksParasites
Jun 8th, 2007
11:04:58 AM
I wonder if "Sea of Love" will be playing
by SkeletonParty
Jun 8th, 2007
11:06:42 AM
Well it is a stupid name, I admit..
by Lour Reed luvs Frank Zappa
Jun 8th, 2007
11:08:56 AM
Topher is a great name. It is a nickname for...
by SkeletonParty
Jun 8th, 2007
11:12:41 AM
Is Barkin still a bombshell? Her body looks ..
by Borgnine JR
Jun 8th, 2007
11:20:36 AM
Lour
by NachoNegro
Jun 8th, 2007
11:21:16 AM
Ocean's Next...
by elizabeth hasselbeck
Jun 8th, 2007
11:23:47 AM
I hope they do an "Ocean's Infinity"
by SkeletonParty
Jun 8th, 2007
11:23:55 AM
Ellen Barkin is a sexy tomboy prizefighter.
by SkeletonParty
Jun 8th, 2007
11:26:45 AM
lol SkeletonParty
by NachoNegro
Jun 8th, 2007
11:27:56 AM
Nacho, let us start on a script.
by SkeletonParty
Jun 8th, 2007
11:39:11 AM
Don't get me wrong - I think Ellen Barkin is great
by SkeletonParty
Jun 8th, 2007
11:52:47 AM
but... but....
by Obscura
Jun 8th, 2007
11:59:22 AM
what, nobody laughed at PFILF?
by SkeletonParty
Jun 8th, 2007
12:05:17 PM
I went to imdb and I didn't see Topher Grace.
by gusborwig
Jun 8th, 2007
12:05:20 PM
I felt that Ocean's 13 was the best of the three
by Razorback
Jun 8th, 2007
12:19:52 PM
Ugh
by BizarroJerry
Jun 8th, 2007
12:22:50 PM
I met Barkin several times. She's a stereo-type.
by Negative Man
Jun 8th, 2007
12:30:18 PM
Clooney
by michyfergi5
Jun 8th, 2007
12:31:14 PM
Better Than 12 But Not By Much
by genrefanboy
Jun 8th, 2007
12:43:05 PM
There's nothing Topher than well-timed sex.
by Snookeroo
Jun 8th, 2007
12:55:55 PM
Ocean's 7,000 MySpace Friends
by Dwide Shrewd
Jun 8th, 2007
01:02:23 PM
Ebert gave it 2.5 stars but you wouldnt know it........
by Cotton McKnight
Jun 8th, 2007
01:05:10 PM
Wow, Negativeman, thats unbelievable.
by Cotton McKnight
Jun 8th, 2007
01:07:00 PM
Funny comment that makes me forget I suck in real life
by gride9000
Jun 8th, 2007
01:23:23 PM
Ocean's Twelve
by Bob of the Shire
Jun 8th, 2007
01:30:24 PM
I picked lazerdisc, heres why:
by gride9000
Jun 8th, 2007
01:33:43 PM
lets start a band called Cloony
by gride9000
Jun 8th, 2007
01:35:10 PM
George Clooney tribute act:
by palimpsest
Jun 8th, 2007
02:00:00 PM
Topher Grace
by Dopenose19
Jun 8th, 2007
02:01:48 PM
My Dad has chosen Betamax...Here's why
by boba_rob
Jun 8th, 2007
02:27:36 PM
Ellen Barkin looks like the kind of woman
by Borgnine JR
Jun 8th, 2007
02:28:29 PM
An Ellen Barkin cocktail
by palimpsest
Jun 8th, 2007
02:45:24 PM
shoulda gone direct to dvd/vhs imho...
by theonecalledshoe
Jun 8th, 2007
02:51:07 PM
As someone who loved 11 but hated 12...
by TheGreenStyle
Jun 8th, 2007
03:19:20 PM
Also...
by TheGreenStyle
Jun 8th, 2007
03:30:49 PM
Nice Marmot
by BadMrWonka
Jun 8th, 2007
03:48:28 PM
I hate to say this about Barkin...
by BillEmic
Jun 8th, 2007
04:42:51 PM
like a guitar solo, this smacks of an indulgent jerkoff
by HypeEndsHere
Jun 8th, 2007
05:20:04 PM
Hype
by BadMrWonka
Jun 8th, 2007
05:36:24 PM
Fun vs. Self-indulgence
by BillEmic
Jun 8th, 2007
05:43:23 PM
Barkin = LHBILF
by Lando Griffin
Jun 8th, 2007
05:51:31 PM
LHBILF = lol
by SkeletonParty
Jun 8th, 2007
06:39:29 PM
Though I only find these movies mildly entertaining
by superninja
Jun 8th, 2007
06:48:35 PM
Best Special Effects of the Year
by Wed Vid Guy
Jun 8th, 2007
07:33:51 PM
special effects
by Halfbreedqueen
Jun 8th, 2007
07:35:02 PM
So how much did they pay you for this?
by Johannes
Jun 8th, 2007
08:21:54 PM
"Hey, let me know if this Ocean's thing gets indulgent"
by Pound Sand
Jun 8th, 2007
08:50:31 PM
Ocean's 12 was SHEEET
by DarfurOnTheRocks
Jun 8th, 2007
08:58:59 PM
I never saw these Oceans movies...
by Orionsangels
Jun 8th, 2007
11:31:00 PM
previous not precious
by Orionsangels
Jun 8th, 2007
11:31:45 PM
Frenchie was underutilized.
by PirateEmery
Jun 8th, 2007
11:34:59 PM
Orion, if you are aware that Clooney, Damon and
by superninja
Jun 8th, 2007
11:52:28 PM
I say good riddance to Roberts and her...
by rbatty024
Jun 8th, 2007
11:58:04 PM
Yeah, not too believable that Danny would go to
by superninja
Jun 9th, 2007
12:45:09 AM
I loved her from "The Big Easy." I had a crush on her
by GQtaste
Jun 9th, 2007
01:09:30 AM
Okay, the hotel was CGI
by ewokstew
Jun 9th, 2007
01:54:40 AM
Was it the hotel that Clooney is
by 9banned0.5furious
Jun 9th, 2007
02:19:11 AM
Just got off the phone with Ocean's 14
by Motoko Kusanagi
Jun 9th, 2007
03:35:41 AM
Can we please stop fetishizing movies?
by Dominic-Vobiscum
Jun 9th, 2007
08:18:37 AM
Viggo's Balls...
by Bass Bastardson
Jun 9th, 2007
11:21:45 AM
Oh and Cotton...
by Bass Bastardson
Jun 9th, 2007
11:23:08 AM
i agree with the above
by mrjoker
Jun 9th, 2007
11:31:14 AM
Spiderman 3 is like getting fucked by a 300 pound
by lost.rules
Jun 9th, 2007
11:39:53 AM
POTC3 is like a blowjob from a saber tooth tiger.
by lost.rules
Jun 9th, 2007
11:41:20 AM
Hey, here's a plot twist:
by Jango Fart
Jun 9th, 2007
12:30:00 PM
Lost.rules, please keep it coming
by BillEmic
Jun 9th, 2007
03:03:06 PM
major typo in first phrase of article!
by ulcer
Jun 10th, 2007
01:01:59 AM
liked it
by bluetunehead
Jun 10th, 2007
01:37:55 AM
Worse than I was expecting...
by a goonie
Jun 10th, 2007
01:32:50 PM
Compared to...
by RichieRich
Jun 11th, 2007
11:44:03 PM
part 4 please
by RAWHEAD RALF
Jul 2nd, 2007
05:35:16 PM
a goonie is right...
by just pillow talk
Dec 17th, 2007
06:54:46 AM
funny you should mention Buckaroo
by just pillow talk
Dec 17th, 2007
11:22:53 AM

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