Cool News
SPY HUNTER fans prepare to be sad...
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. Guess who's directing SPY HUNTER? Let me give you some hints...
-This person's last film is a remake of a cult classic also involving fast cars.
Know it yet? How about another clue...
-This person has directed video game adaptations before.
You're about to get it... it's on the tip of your tongue...
-Uwe Boll is the only director to make this one look competent at all...
That's right! Paul WS Anderson is now attached to direct SPY HUNTER. I guess he couldn't get enough car chases out of DEATH RACE...
No word on if The Rock is still on the project, but we do know that Anderson is having the script rewritten. Thoughts?
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or not to first, that is the question.
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I was almost looking forward to this. Not so much anymore.
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yeah the complex mythology of a tiny car with guns and the bullet proof bullies will be ruined. PWS raped my NES!
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Cooking in this or has he chickened out when he saw WS comming on board?
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Well this sucks. Then again everything he directs sucks.
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Which it is.
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I don't really like the Spy Hunter series anyway, but still... chalk one up on a list of movies I won't be seeing.
I much more upset about him attatched to Castlevania. -
The car was the main character in the game. So, now thay have to make some stupid backstory for the driver, his organization, the love interest who is probably somehow tied to the main villain, not to mention the villain him/herself. And, lets not forget about the crazy car... which will never outdo anything that's been in a Bond movie already. GIVE UP!
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It's a 20 year old video game where a car moves back and forth. I'd be more disappointed if Anderson were directing Frogger.
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Resident Evil was pretty good too. SO don't hate...CONGRAGULATE!
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As shitty as he is, Paul Anderson is a far better director then Uwe Boll. I think the filmmaking hack hierarchy goes something like this: Micheal Bay > Brett Ratner > Paul Anderson > Ed Wood > Uwe Boll
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Leo Dicaprio dropped out of the project
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he just looks like a guy who gives alcohol to minors and then does stuff
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How do these guys keep getting work? When I do a shitty job, it's not like my bosses come running with bonuses and trinkets of praise. WTF, mate?
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Doc, I said that Uwe Boll is the only director out there that makes WS look good... that would fit your hierarchy, wouldn't it?I never really followed Spy Hunter much either, but it definitely has its fans. And there have been many Spy Hunter games since the original. It's a continuing series.
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tom hanks has recently left the project due to a conflict with the pickle or maybe the bun, sources were unclear
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Nicely done.
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First he's doing Castlevania, then Death Race, then The Long Good Friday(which made me really really angry, and now he's doing Spy Hunter? What the fuck is he doing? He's like a goddamn franchise wrecking ball.
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This film was destined to suck, this just confirms it!
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At least we can laugh at him. Paul Way Shitty Anderson just pisses me off.
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"Sorry, this screenplay doesn't suck enough. Could you give it another pass, only with more suckage this time?" I wouldn't worry to much for the Rock if he left the project--I hear Rob Cohen wants him to play Sir Pixelot in the big-screen version of Adventure (with Jeremy Irons as the voice of Rhindle).
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Please don't let WS do the PG-13 remake of "Deep Throat."
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I've played the games and don't recall much of a story. Oh right, driving into the back of a moving truck is a plot these days. I wait five years for a new David Lynch movie but I can count on this crap being made every ten seconds. Thanks Hollywood, you suck!
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Or is she too pregnant with PWSA's spawn to appear?
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Frankly, he's not a bad director. Even at his worst, he's just generic like Brett Ratner or Mark Steven-Johnson - nothing remotely offensive about him, just bland and workmanlike. At his best, he knows how to stage good, tight action sequences and write a a better-than-average "Ten Little Indians" scenario. The guy's never made an outright completely BAD movie (though Soldier was dangerously close), but the Internet has turned against him because sites like this one spew the Party Line of bile at him so much that everybody's just fallen in line, which is really fairly typical. I mean, a lot of people hate Tom Rothman now because of this web site, and I wager that maybe 15% of them actually understand WHY they hate him. It's really quite sad, but pretty standard Internet bullshit.
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Whoever wins, all lose.
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it's still the only decent movie he's made.
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...the Peter Gunn theme song. There's no such thing as a fan of that naff game. It's as much a game as painting a wall is a game.
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I see some psychedellic pontential for some old games getting made into films, imagine something like the Super Mario Bro.'s Movie, but with guys with bombs.
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Since, you know, he liked AVP and thought it was the best of the sequels after Aliens.
I personally agree. It easily is the best out of that, Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection. -
I actually thought they began filming on that at some point. I was looking forward to it.
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of the plot?! I mean god, can he really fully flesh out on a big screen a car going forwards and side to side and occasionally going into a tractor trailer? This seems like it might be too much for him. Come on people if there was movie better suited for him it was this. I don't hate the guy, he has his faults, but I'm much happier about him tackling this than "The Long Good Friday".
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I love Anderson's movies!! I wasn't that excited about this movie before, but now I'm game!
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Ah well, everybody likes the 'Peoples Champion'... even if his movies DO stink to Heaven and back. I actually enjoyed a few (FEW) small (VERY SMALL!!) parts of AvP as well.
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Granted I'm not trying to be a prick here but who cares about crap ass Spy Hunter anyway?I vote AICN open up a porn dvd talkback...thoughts on that gents?
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I hope so...
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The adaptation of SPY HUNTER might get royally fucked up. What's next? Is some hack director going to take an axe to a sheriff vs. wild animal script written by a nascent USC grad who happened to blow the right Lions Gate exec? Because THAT I could not handle, people. It has to stop somewhere.
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... I told it P.W. Anderson was directing, then we both heard Uwe Boll laughing so I guess it was okay.
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I knew what it was before I even opened the article just by the tone of the link. Paul Shitserdon should be out of work.
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YUCK!!!
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how this has yet to become a movie is beyond me. it may not be well known as other games, but it does have a fanbase. but then again, it would be a clusterfuck of a film.
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There has GOT to be better stories out there.
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Spy Hunter? I mean... it could be a neat film, but seriously, no one gives a crap about that series.
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Abderson has done some good popcorn flicks... Resident Evil (best of the series), Mortal Kombat, Event Horizon (a personal favorite)... I'd even throw AvP in there. Could be worse news... as for Spy Hunter, haven't played any of them since the original... loved that theme song lol
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part. The 007 movies always make the CIA/US spy network out to be the comedic dumbasses.
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Next thing you know, Uwe Boll is gonna direct 'The Legend of Zelda'..
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Well, if nothing else we finally found the guy who actually liked Event Horizon. Oh, and that theme song was the theme from "Peter Gunn" written by the late, great Henry Mancini.
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Whoever said that Ed Wood was a worse director than Anderson. Ed Wood's movies are comedic genius. Plan 9 From Outer Space is one of the greatest comedies of all time. Anderson makes shit. Regardless of money, I still don't realize how these people find work. Uwe Boll has never made a movie that is even watchable. But, I have to say. As cool as Alone in the Dark, or BloodRayne could have been in the hands of a somewhat competent director, nothing compares to what Anderson did to Alien vs Predator. Nothing. It is my single most hated movie. Worse than Battlefield Earth, worse than Alone in the Dark, worse than anything. You can't make it on Earth, you can't make it in the present day, you can't not have space marines. Most of all though, you can't retcon the mythology, you have to expand on it. Anderson is shit, he has lots of ideas, and they're all stupid. I want to feed him laxatives until he shits all over the floor, and then shit on his shit, and then rub his face in his shit that I also shit on, and then cut his stomach open dn take his shitty intestines and strangle him with them. And then I want to fart in his mouth. That would be the only payback for Alien vs Predator.
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I think Ratner is generally harmless. So what? He made the Rush Hour movies, a Lecter movie that was at least better than Hannibal, and the worst of the X-men movies. He's a below average- mediocre filmaker, but I don't believe he's actually a threat to the art of film; which Anderson and Boll most certainly are.
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FUCK YOU PAUL ANDERSON!
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Felix Leiter, the "Brother from Langley," was hardly a comedic dumbass.
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Whoever wins ... we lose
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Movie to watch drunk and laugh at as I am sure Spy Hunter will be. If they made it R I'm sure it could be cool. But it won't so it will suck because Anderson might work well with an R rating... Wait was Resident Evil rated R? Yeah it was wasn't it? Never mind we're fucked. How does this guy keep getting work? AVP didn't do that well did it? And I thought Mortal Kombat and Event Horizon were serious bombs?
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He couldn't direct fucking traffic, Christ the world is fucked up.
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The closest thing Anderson made to an ok movie was Mortal Kombat, but he again fucked it up. How are you going to make a Mortal Kombat movie and have no epic battle between Scorpion and Subzero? Too much Sonja and Johnny. And you would think Liu Kang was the only character in the game. Bull.
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A movie based on a VIDEOGAME might be shitty?!?!? You DON'T SAY!!!!!
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I like Event Horizon as well. Now...there's TWO of us! Hah!
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You "first" people are fucking idiots. And even bigger idiots when you try to be "first" and don't make it. Let me explain something to you. Being "first" is for winners. Not you assholes.
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"We have no hope of getting the Knight Rider license from Universal."
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What the fuck is SPyHunter? Dunno, but Paul WS Anderson really is a fuck head. I wish he'd die.
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Resident Evil was great, AVP was pretty good although it could've used a larger budget, Mortal Kombat was good, Event Horizon was outstanding... Solider was meh, but you can't win 'em all.
He's got a great track record with me, I'm down. -
I DON'T CARE WHAT ANDERSON DOES AS LONG AS HE DOESN'T TOUCH CASTLEVANIA. LAST I HEARD HE WAS OFF THE PROJECT, BUT SOMETHING TELLS ME HE IS GOING TO PURSUE IT. MY FIRST DIRECTORS CHOICE FOR CASTLEVANIA IS ALEX PROYAS. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?
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I would take a movie directed by Paul W.S. Anderson ANY day of the week over any film directed by that smug piece of crap Uwe Boll. I am okay with this and am hoping for a movie with semi decent action to say the least.
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Anyone remember that game? That game just kicked ass. I loved how that ship would fly down and put rockets on your car.
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spy hunter is nothing
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Jun 02, 2007 12:24:46 AM CDT
Just great, something we don't need and isn't cool news
by cyberbeavis1326
I like what macktheknife01 said, "PWS raped my NES!" LOL That reminds me of a Tarintino quote, "If I wanted all this computer effect stuff, I'd stick my dick in a Nintendo." Those words conjured up that line man, thanks for that laugh. Seriously, can we forget this film please. The orignal was good, so was the sequel. After that, SNES, and the recent versions have been horrible. Make a "Stryder" movie, but give it to a competant director though, not this guy.
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So I know he's capable if he chooses to be. That said, Spy Hunter just doesn't seem interesting enough to fill an hour and a half of movie time, IMO.
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Jun 02, 2007 12:30:15 AM CDT
Sorry I loved Mortal Kombat and Event Horizon.
by allpowerfulwizardofoz
I did not like AvP at all. Solider was mindless fun and Resident Evil was not so bad it was unwatchable although the sequel stunk. So over all I've not really hated on this guy as much as I have seen him hated on this website. He has had some hit and misses with me. It's about half and half.
Mortal Kombat was fun, and Event Horizon is a classic in my personal opinion and his best film by far. He's really not THAT bad of a choice for this type of movie. It will at least be worth a DVD rental.
There is much much worse. Yes Uwe Boll and don't forget Aaron Seltzer. I haven't enjoyed anything those two have put out in the ways of directing. I could add more to that list but I don't feel like it. -
Also, "Event Horizon" was a decent sci-fi horror film and "Mortal Kombat" was stupid and fun and still to this day is the best video game adaptation (which is really, really sad). I don't know, the only glimmer of hope I have for this flaccid, useless film genre was "Halo" produced by Peter Jackson and directed by Neil Blomkamp, which according to Peter Jackson, is still alive and kicking: http://tinyurl.com/ypreal.
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http://forums.trivialbeing.net/index.php?act=ST&f=31&t=5484
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Haven't people learned their lessons with these bullshit movies based on video games!? Jeesus christ, they ALL SUCKED! Every last one of them including Mortal Combat. The biggest nightmare of course being Street Fighter.
I haven't even bothered renting Doom on Netflix. -
a boring and inferior set-piece placed in the movie for a cute twist and to prove how GREAT Bond is (ah yes, let me also play the Sychophant and have whatever drink he just made up as well to show my "sheep"ish side) at Poker and how much he wasn't.
The writers might as well have had him tied to train tracks in a dress and had Bond come riding in on a horse to save him with a chuckle.."Oh you CIA guys never learn..." -
pwsa doesn't bother me all that much. what's the big guff, chet?
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...but he's just doin that one to get his passion project, RYGAR, off the ground.
I DO wonder why it is this hack even knows how to drive a car, let alone negotiate a film deal...but fuck him as long as he's restricted to this 14 year old shit. Well, now that I think about it he DID destroy both the Predator and Alien franchises....PRICK! -
someone would finally make Horace Goes Skiing: The Motion Picture. A boy can dream...
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Like it or not, Michael Bay is the last 80's action director. He's no master storyteller but there's a certain fun and child-like style to his movies. Mindless, well crafted 80's action. He's actually perfect for the Transformers.
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althought I am drunk, this still sucks! SUCKS!!! go mad city!!!
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this is gross and smells like throwup.
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Just had to say nice work, Mack.
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I don't think a bad director can really do much extra harm to such a poorly-conceived movie. Don't studio execs have better scripts they can develop, better franchises they can milk?
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though fans of spy hunter probably have it coming
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...period, AVP was some of the absolutly worst film making hollywood has to offer, it was a stupid pathetic cash grab from a guy who's film making has absolutly no soul what so ever.
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The CIA/US spy network ARE comedic dumbasses, up until Campbell's Casino Royale, that was the most realistic feature of the Bond franchise... The CIA is not only one of the world's most famous acronyms, its also the world's most famous oxymoron.
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PLEASE??!!??
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Fighter Hayabusa and The Great Puma are BOTH holding out for MORE MONEY!!!
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Jesus Christ. Spy Hunter was a fucking simple-ass arcade game that I used to play in the lobby of a grocery store as a kid, while my mom went shopping. What about it, exactly, screams "Make Me Into A Movie"???????? Movies based on video games may be the absolute lowest form of "creativity" extant. Having said that, where the hell is the Pitfall Harry movie series we've all been holding our breaths for? I won't be able to die until I see a live action Pitfall Harry vine swing over some crocodiles while bellowing the Tarzan Yell.
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Wackybantha, I submit that if anything should be a new catchphrase it should be Moriarty's "hippest cat in the room" post from a week or two ago. I'm not even hatin'. I love beat-speak. I've been calling people "cats" for years now. I've gotten most of my friends saying it. One of my friends' mom has even just recently started calling people "cats." It's hilarious. Anyway... hippest cat in the room. Learn it. Live it. Love it.
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There are ghosts in dem dare underground caves!
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It's always the same thing. That's all they know as the worse directors of all time. Anderson and Boll. Speaks volumes about a typical geek's experience with movies. How original...
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Everytime Anderson attaches himself to a videogame adaptation, we should raise a glass in celebration. Some other script somewhere has just been saved and might now have a chance at being made by a talented director. PlayStation films are like a kind of movie Phantom Zone, and they keep guys like Anderson and Boll from doing too much damage. I mean, those types of films are going to be shit anyway, so why not leave them to it?
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Jun 02, 2007 3:55:07 AM CDT
My level of zero interest has gone into the negative
by birdys piano teacher
yup.
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At least one genre classic could remain unsullied, Death Race deserves far better talent for it's remake, the potential's there for something special.
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Starring Daniel Day-Lewis.
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I still think Uwe Boll is the worst of all time. I'd rather watch an endless loop of Ed Wood films than a single Uwe Boll one.
At least Event Horizon was a halfway decent movie (although it's been so long since I last saw it, I could be talking right outta my ass). I will say this, though...Paul WS Anderson and Uwe Boll are the devil. Literally...the devil left the toasty confines of his inferno and decided to give us all a taste of what eternal damnation truly feels like by subjecting us to the films these fuckers have made. -
PWA is not an awful director. He's serviceable, and if they hired someone who could write to do the script it'd be decent and watchable. Its having him write that is the problem.
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Somehow this adaptation of a lame game series turned from John Woo+The Rock (= mildly interesting) to Paul W(ill) S(uck) Anderson + Noob (=below zero interesting)? Looks like I can move along now.
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drascart
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I would actually be interested in a movie based on Elevator Action 2, which was a pretty cool game with great spy action, although you'd need to make the characters have more personality than the generic archetypes of the game. And Rygar's recent PS2 upgrade has shown that could work, too. I'm intrigued by your suggestions in ways that I don't think you intended.
Oh, and as for Anderson "destroying" the Predator and Alien franchises... um yeah. Both of them were already dead, especially Predator. Anderson revived the franchises by creating a movie that, like it or not, made more than Alien 3, Alien Resurrection or Predator 2 ever dreamed of making. It's just a damn shame the direction that Fox has chosen to take that with AVP2. But I give Anderson props for expanding the Predator mythos in an interesting new direction with that whole backstory of hunting grounds on earth and using humans as slaves who worshipped them... that was pretty cool. -
I hear ya (or read ya rather)...I could see how you'd think I was talking about their worth in monetary units with my own use of the term "franchise", but I was actually referring to their individual worth to me as a fan of the series of films. It doesn't really matter to ME that AVP made more money than Predator 2 did. I don't like it or not. It's null to me. Shitty movies make alot of money from time to time, most of America is rather stupid...but that's a whole other can of beans. Video Games shouldn't be movies...that's why they're video games. The rare exceptions are those that are nostalgic enough to warrant one...I thought Resident Evil was cinematic enough AS a video game...didn't need it to be a movie. Or Silent Hill...what's the point?!?!
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Now that I know there are actually people that'd be willing to see it. I thank you, NinjaRap...
EXT.
ELEVATOR FILLED BUILDING - NIGHT -
an underground facility, 3D maps and a repulsively unappealing female lead....just like EVERY SINGLE FUCKING FILM HE HAS EVER MADE!!! oh well, at least its happening to Spy Hunter, so who really cares?
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That's some funny shit mate!
And the minute Anderson steps in front of the camera for Castlevania, I'm pulling the trigger. -
And he gets alot.
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I totally enjoyed RESIDENT EVIL and I think SOLDIER would benefit more with a 'Director's Cut' on DVD. Why are his films always cut to shit? MORTAL KOMBAT would've fared better if they left scenes in, or shot a few better. Paul's version of MK is still heads above the studio abortion known as 'Annihilation' that was rushed into production. Indie Paul is better than studio Paul. Nuff said!
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billions. So what some of you seem to be saying is that There should never have been a cross over between The computer gaming industry and hollywood.
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Before you get upset, I'm talking about the John Woo who got swallowed up by Hollywood and became one of the worst hacks ever. As bad as Anderson is, I don't see how him replacing Woo is a bad thing at all. The film will still suck of course but at least there won't be any groan inducing slow motion doves in it.
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It had to be said.
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Interesting that AICN loathes anything Anderson-related, but puts Zack Snyder on a pedestal for 300 - which was absolutely horrendous (if _real_ film critics are to be believed - and common good sense IMHO). As far as I'm concerned, they're pretty much on the same level when it comes to putting on a shallow-as-hell dumb-as-fuck action spectacle.
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That is all.
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Howbout a Bump"n"Jump action movie that would be awesome man.
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... but has anyone even bothered watching any of his stuff? I know I haven't. If anyone has, tell me is it funny-bad or just bad-bad?
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I smell a classic thread full of sarcasm and fanboy genius. Keep it going guys!
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That depends on which of his flicks you watch. HOUSE OF THE DEAD is definitely funny-bad. ALONE IN THE DARK is very, very bad-bad. BLOODRAYNE is somewhere in between.
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On the bright side, Andy Serkis will be doing the mo-cap for the Smicks.
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and if Anderson is directing I know it'll bomb.
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in his name......WASTE of SHIT
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3 out of 5 of his movies aren't bad. Mortal Kombat, Soldier, Event Horizon. They're not that great, but soldier is pretty fun, and event horizon is good. Even Horizon is what Doom should have been. There are worse directors out there.
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This movie is most prolly gonna suck. I think Spy Hunter shouldn't be made into a movie in the first place...the original arcade game is a classic...and one of the recent games i played on PS2 was ok...but this isnt a series that should be turned into a movie...same goes with The Sims.
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This just in, M.Night Shamalan is not directing Hogan's Alley anymore. No word if Mark Wahlberg (Hogan) and Christopher Walken(Main Boss 2# are still attached.
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With Will Smith as the rider and Martin Lawrence as the bike.
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It will be part of a minimalist series that will also include "Oregon Trail"
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I want to see Aronofskys take on Stroker.
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The newest Resident Evil? I wasn't sure if it was released yet or not and how many of those has PW Anderson helmed? I wish he would have went more with the game version of AVP complete with Space Marines and some continuity of the other films,thats my main complaint with him. I don't compare him with Uwe cocksucker Bolle mainly because I think Anderson wants to do kick ass geek films but he doesn't have the brains to go to the fans of the source material and find out what they want. Instead he listens to the studio heads and waters it all down. I know it's not the popular opinion but I belive if Anderson would pull his head out of his ass and go to a comic con or even get a name on this site and just look for what the fans want out of there favorite game/comic property he could do something with it. He has potential.
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I accept it: MI6 is a world-beater with its reality based Super-Spy "00" program. Ok, maybe not. ;).
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Kid Icarus! I find myself tending to agree with the WS and Ratner apologists. There's a difference between bad and boring. It seems like we forget that MOST movies suck. Field Of Dreams was nominated for Best Picture. The bar is not that high. What's more disturbing is the ammount of cash the studios throw away on this stuff! All they're making is dumb action spy movie with The Rock and a cool car. They can't give a grad student ten grand to type that out? They feel the need to shell out for a license 85% of the pop. hasn't heard of? Smart.
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They should make a film of System shock, would be great and Bioshock is lookin amazing,get the rights to it now!
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cheap ass film
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I'm serious. I'd pay good money to see that.
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How would the movie be any better.
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The best catchphrases will always be the ones that originate with Harry not liking a movie for the single most absurd reason (ie not liking Wrong Turn because there weren't any "dead raped deer in the forest," or when he didn't like Matrix Reloaded because for some reason there weren't any vampires or werewolves.) Granted these movies were bad in their own right, even though Matrix Reloaded has grown on me in recent years, but HeadGeek disliked them for these absurd reason. Henceforth the greatest catchphrases originating on aicn for me will always be "There's not enough vampires and werewolves." and "but will there be dead raped deer?"
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If Spy Hunter has to be the sacrificial anode of shitty director projects in order to protect more valuable properties that he would otherwise be attached to, that's not so bad.
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Contra: The Movie.
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Why not?
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You know you want it.
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Brandon Lee has backed out of playing Thomas due to a small case of death and Shia LaBeauf wants his Mr. X role rewritten. This leaves Liv Tyler (Sylvia) as the only unproblematic star attached. Who wouldn't be? 8 Million bucks to be strapped to a chair for a month?? SIGN ME UP, BABY!!!
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AAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW. Right, like a Spy Hunter movie would work. The only people that'd see this are the lowest common denominators and asian kids. And that is the stone cold truth.
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MAKE IT HAPPEN.
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Just wonedring.
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I love video games, and I love comic books, and I love movies. . . But comic books, with their storyboard-like construction and deep plotlines are often translated to film badly. . . And you guys want MORE movies from video games, which have 1/16 the plot and detail of a good comic book? WHY?
What makes something like Spy Hunter and other video game movies really stupid is that the games themselves are often based on a TV series or movie. So they are a condensed, stripped-down version of a movie in the first place!
We don't need a HALO movie because it's a stripped-down, poorly-scripted video game version of Aliens. We don't need a HITMAN movie, because it's already a watered-down version of several movies like Leon and La Femme Nikita. We don't need a SPY HUNTER movie because the game was JUST THE CHASE SCENES from a James Bond movie, turned into a video game.
This is stupid. You know it's stupid. Instead of making a remake of a remake, why not just watch the movies that influenced the games in the first place?
What's next? "Rocky: The Movie: The Game: The Movie" ..? -
I used to make fun of this whole genre by casting the Burgertime movie, too. (Old talkbacks should show it). My best choice:
Mr. Pickle: Christopher Walken
Now, picture Walken's voice as he talks to Peter Pepper (played by Jack Black, as suggested by JusticeSabre):
Mr. Pickle: I'm Mr. Pickle. This is my associate, Mr. Egg, and my other associate, Mr. Hot Dog.
Peter Pepper: Nods, clutching his pepper shaker.
Mr. Pickle: You've got all wrong, Peter Pepper. All wrong. My boys don't like what you're doing here-- Making these giant-ass burgers-- And I don't like it either. It's got no class, man. No class.
Peter Pepper: Hey, now--
Mr. Pickle: Your attitude's all wrong. Can't you see it's irritating Mr. Hot Dog? It gets under his skin; Makes him mad. You gotta respect us, Peter, or we'll make your life hell. I'll have to send Mr. Egg after you, and you do not want that, my friend.
Peter Pepper: [stares in disbelief] -
Starring Christopher Walken, this one-man show features the starship captain as he deals with a perplexing conundrum:
Captain: Look at all these Asteroids! Geez! Will you look at `em all? Asteroids! Everywhere! I shoot them, and they just turn into more, smaller Asteroids!
[Zapping, shooting, etc.]
Captain: Gahh! That's it! The last of the Asteroids! Now, my friend, I'll do away with you and--- HOLY JEEZ! Where did all of these Asteroids come from?
[Repeat script three times, then go to the following line]
Captain: Hey! It's a UFO. The little bugger is shooting at me! Take that! Ha! HA HA!
[Repeat script from beginning ten times] -
The tagline is, "I Don't Understand that Word."
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i will never see this movie
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Really? What is 80s about his style? Certanly not the low angle camera circling around the actors, slow motion with pompous rock ballads, explosions every three seconds, car chases where you can't see anything, quick shaky cam shots of actors in said car chases saying one liners, and as Vern would say reflection of an explosion in Nic Cage's sweat. Anyway, while we're talking about Paul What Script? Anderson, has anyone seen his first movie Shopping? That one's supposed to have car chases, so I wonder if it's any good? There was also a crappy tv movie with ghosts that he directed a few years ago.
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You know you want it...oh, wait...
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All you haters prepare to get...prepare to...'nother chance...wait...god I can't even kid MYSELF anymore [cries into hands].
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An old-school PC instead of video game, but hell, make a franchise of it, for Space Quest IV owns ALL your asses. Brad Pitt as Roger Wilco.
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It could have been Uwe Boll directing this movie.
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See above.
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::cue Don LaFontaine:: "This fall...one man...will discover...that the key to ultimate power...can be found by going...UP. UP. DOWN. DOWN. LEFT. RIGHT. LEFT. RIGHT. B. A. START."
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Uwe's films are nigh unwatchable.
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Eddie Murphy is signed to star as ALL of the blocks
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I meant Tetris
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Even if it's a 5 minute SNL sketch... I need to see this made WITH Walken and Black.
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Oh, who am I kidding... Heh
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Why not? Hollywood has obviously not ONE FUCKING ORIGINAL IDEA LEFT IN IT'S HEAD!! All they know how to do is snatch up old franchises (no matter how small) and resurrect them as HOLLOW BLOATED CRAP to make a quick buck. Who gives a crap about this film?
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...but don't say that too loud. I guarantee some shmuck at one of the big studios is reading your post & stroking his chin right now."Hmmmm... Eddie Murphy in a Tetris movie... as ALL of the blocks..." (picks up phone)
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That´s the only thing that can compare to how much I wanna see a spz hunter movie. You could get this thing headed by Spielberg and I still would have no interest. Anyway they put of the game with the Rock what 4 years ago as a prequel to a movie?
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still the best videogame movie I have seen so Anderson certainly did something right. I hope he does the third one too, if it ever gets greenlighted.
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I enjoyed Life Aquatic
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he's no ridley scott. but, damn. i enjoy myself at his movies. i own some on dvd. bet you do to, aicn wankers. why on earth you guys continue to trash him is beyond me. jeesuss, you guys LOVE to complain. it's like reading a site written by four year olds...
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Seriously, shouldn't this movie just be an hour and a half of a dude driving around in a car that transforms into a boat and dodges shit coming at the screen ?
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and were keeping it shelved. i saw some cool artwork a while ago, probaly here, of evil military trucks or something, i liked. i haven't seen a paul ws anderson movie in a while so i forget just how bad he is to be saddened by this news yet, i'll check imdb to remember what some of his film were again and find out.
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Kurt Russel was his usual bad-ass self. Another cool thing about the movie is that the writer, David Peoples, wrote it in the same universe as Blade Runner, a movie he also scripted.
Not sure why a Spy Hunter movie is needed though. -
This guy must have pissed in somebody's soup at AICN. Yeah, he makes mostly bad movies - but why the venom? I hate to point this out, but lately John Carpenter has made nothing but bad movies too - I don't see this kind of hate whenever HIS name is mentioned.
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He is a bum, and whatever he touches, turns to what comes through. Enough said.
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He made AVP, and that was good.
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ABSOLUTE BEST VIDEO GAME MADE INTO A MOVIE EVER
END OF LINE -
Actually with a bit of imagination, I can see this being... potentially good. If you don't see a straight out literal translation to film like everyone seems to be expecting, but think outside the gameboy a little - like maybe taking a slight Existenz approach where the video game and reality start to blur at the edges... Then again, we are talking about PWS Anderson here...
ok, but for the record, the analogy above has to compare ALIEN and Predator with AVP, and I have to agree with NinjaRap - it did more for the mythology than the rest of those movies, despite having a rather pedestrian plot...
Also,I hear Lucas is in talks to do a Maniac Mansion telemovie =) -
I can't be bothered with the usual anti-Anderson rant, the man's a cretin nuff said. Anyone else wish someone would do an Altered Beast movie. I loved that game on the Sega Megadrive back in the late 80s. I reckon that could make a wicked movie.
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The Movie...Starring Dick Cheney. Comming Summer 2010.
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William H. Macy, Philip Baker Hall and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Press Release by New Line: "We are delighted to welcome Paul Thomas Anderson back to his independent, ecclectic roots with New Line version of CENTIPEDE, an epic mosaic of several interrelated characters in search of happiness, forgiveness, and meaning in the San Fernando Valley."
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Where is the love for Cloak and Dagger?????? Dabney Coleman??? hello???? Is this thing on???
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Star Castles (sort of like Ice Castles...in space)Canyon Bomber (Atari 2600 version)Joust (come on! guys flying and jousting on ostridges avoiding a pterodactyl and a lava troll?!?! GENIUS!)and who can forget the LSD inspired Q-bert!?!?!ok...maybe not Q-bert but I still think Joust would kill all film-goers.
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Starring Tom Cruise who will make them rewrite the script so it's more about scientology. Missile Command.
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Just like Speeder racer, who cares. And for the record, I'd rather sit through a Uwe Boll movie any day over Paul WS Anderson.
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Charles Nelson Riley is dead and won't be playing the guy floating down a river in an innertube...THIS JUST IN!!! His corpse has agreed to play the part!YAYYYYYYYYYYY!
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somebody please kill me, these two wastes of space and film are sucking out my will to watch movies
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I know a ton of people who absolutely LOVE the RE movies
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They already made a SPACE INVADERS movie: http://tinyurl.com/3b8nt8
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is producing Death race 3000. Directed by PWSA!
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