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See Biel's Ass!! And Some Other Stuff, Too!! Tonight On MTV!! It's What Television Was Meant For!!
Merrick here...
Here's some hard hitting journalism, and scoopage at its finest.
Tonight at 11pm (Eastern/Pacific - which always confuses me greatly) MTV will air two minutes of the Adam Sandler/Kevin James movie I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY.
This is the movie about two male firefighters who pretend to be married in order to solve a pension snafu. It features Rob Schneider as a Chinese guy, which is kind of disturbing.
What's most important here is that Jessica Biel's ass will (evidently) make an appearance during this footage.
I've never been a huge Jessica Biel fan, but...I must say..this hiney is curvyliciously agreeable. So say we all?
The footage will appear during a two minute segment sandwiched between THE REAL WORLD and ROAD RULES.
Do I recall correctly that...sometime way back in the dinosaur days of "reality" television...THE REAL WORLD actually seemed kinda/sort not contrived, and almost felt "real"? These days, it's so over the top...so extreme...so ugly in its frivolous, superficial, party bozo mentality...it's absurd.
Oh well, I guess that's what sells. Partying...and Jessica Biel's ass (extrapolate this sentence to its logical, and intended, conclusion).
Tonight at 11pm (Eastern/Pacific - which always confuses me greatly) MTV will air two minutes of the Adam Sandler/Kevin James movie I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY.
This is the movie about two male firefighters who pretend to be married in order to solve a pension snafu. It features Rob Schneider as a Chinese guy, which is kind of disturbing.
What's most important here is that Jessica Biel's ass will (evidently) make an appearance during this footage.
I've never been a huge Jessica Biel fan, but...I must say..this hiney is curvyliciously agreeable. So say we all?
The footage will appear during a two minute segment sandwiched between THE REAL WORLD and ROAD RULES.
Do I recall correctly that...sometime way back in the dinosaur days of "reality" television...THE REAL WORLD actually seemed kinda/sort not contrived, and almost felt "real"? These days, it's so over the top...so extreme...so ugly in its frivolous, superficial, party bozo mentality...it's absurd.
Oh well, I guess that's what sells. Partying...and Jessica Biel's ass (extrapolate this sentence to its logical, and intended, conclusion).
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+ Expand All
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Really?
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Like...well, all the other Jessicas. Except Rabbit.
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Butterface my ass. Raise your standards man, she's gorgeous.
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Man, I was hoping to see a bit of butt crack at the very least. Olivia Munn dressed as Leia was 10 times better!
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She is definitely MY favorite Jessica!
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yeah, she's attractive but there are hotter chicks a few clicks away on the Internet...and they are naked and taking it in on their faces.
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Seriously...her acting blows and she's not that hot.
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if Jessica Biel is a butterface, then I'd love to bury myself in butter!!!
She's got a nicer face than that hag Kirsten Dunst! I've loved her photos ever since that magazine spread where we saw her nips back in the late 90s when she was trying to get fired from "7th Heaven" -
of folk who bought the texas chainsaw cause she was running about it that white tshirt but it would take a lot more on show for me to be buying this one.
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and a HOT body. I can't judge her acting because I have only seen her in roles as a decoration. But I thought she did well in The Illusionist in a thankless and two dimensional role. All in all, me likee.
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But it's been a great week.
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She's got a GRREEEEAAAATTTT ASSSS
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It was called "Strange Bedfellows" and starred Paul Hogan. Released in 2004 and directed by Dean Murphy... True!
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It might share a similar concept but I don't think it's based on that film. I read Payne and Taylor's script and thought it was pretty damn funny. I feel like people are forgetting about this one this summer. It's being overshadowed by the big guns like Transformers and Potter and when people think about this summer's big comedies, I feel like the buzz is around Knocked Up and Super Bad and to a lesser extent, The Simpsons Movie, although I'm surprised by the relatively low expectations for that one. Point is, this R-rated movie could do big business. It may not be family friendly like Click, but all 3 of these stars have followings. People can relate to Kevin James. He's been consistently funny for years on King of Queens and I think part of the reason Hitch was so successful was because audiences wanted to see James succeed and find love with a woman who would accept him in spite of his(physical) flaws. People will always show up for the Sandman and I'd follow Biel to the end of the Earth, so long as Stealth wasn't waiting for me there. Mark this one on your calendars. I cannot possibly foresee being let down by this one. And having interviewed Jessica twice, I can say without a doubt that she is NOT a butterface. She's absolutely gorgeous and pretty down to Earth for someone who's been in the spotlight since she was a teenager. I mean, she went to Tufts. How unpretentious can you get? You wanna talk about Jessicas who are overrated in the looks (not to mention talent) department? I got one word for you. Alba.
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Jessica Biel is definitely one fine piece of tottie.
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HA! This Talkback belongs to you. You win, sir.
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going to look any different than it does on the picture you have on here or the trailer that's everywhere else?
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Has already become a thing of internet legend. Whether it will fade off like Sanjaya's sisters magic boobs or live on to become an overused meme remains to be seen.
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How much? And give it to me.
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Let's compare!
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Or not. But Biel kicks untold ass. :D
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even after 24 ended its season. But you're out there if you think Biel's a butterface. And DAMN YOU, telly1138 for stealing that 'if she's a butterface' ;)
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Sandwhiched between real world road rules? That garbage is still on? Tell you what though, Biels got a downright durrty scooper. There are thing I'd do with that scooper and a sandwhich.
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I saw a trailer for this movie... Sandler is pretending to be gay so Biel walks around in undies in front of him... then places his hand on her breast and says they're real... the trailer did make me want to see the movie, if only for a 30-foot-tall image of Biel in panties...
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.....I want to make soup out of them....Oh yeah, and i want to drink her bath water too! Just sayin.......
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"Reign Over Me" flopped, so did "Mr. Deeds", "Little Nicky", and "8 Crazy Nights" Mirajeff. You've just been proved wrong, that not everyone will go to a Sandler movie. Whether the script is good or not, the plot sounds incredibily imbicile and quite disrespectful to gays. I also don't think movies like "Knocked Up" and "SuperBad' will do well. No matter how trumpeted up they are. "Knocked Up" will fail due to it's horrible marketing. They are not showing the funny relatable scenes in the ads. They show them on talk shows and movie specials. The average person won't watch those. Those two are adult comedies being trumped up by fanboys, critics, and internet buzz. We all know how that goes, it's very iffy. It worked for "300" but failed with "Grindhouse", "Snakes on A Plane", and even to a lesser extent "Black Snake Moan." Really "Superbad" sounds just as it's title implies, it'll be super bad. Out of things I've heard about it, it doesn't get this movie lover's love. I can't hail Seth Rogan as some new icon, I can say he can be amusing, but as a sidekick only, not a star or writer. I know I'll get flamed on here for this. In honesty, I won't care who wastes their time or breath saying how wrong I am. I just don't wanna waste my time on some idiot on here ready to bash me, without knowing me. If any of you wanna come at with a more nicer and friendly dialogue, that is welcome. I have a 99.9% hunch that won't happen. So, I'm done and out. In short, this Sandler movie sounds and looks bad, "Knocked up" won't do as well as hoped, and "Superbad" will do super bad. That's all.
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I am drunk right now its 413am in Ireland and i would fuck her dwag to get close to her. Up the ass, i wud even let it jizz on me...as long as i have her
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...wouldn't, just by chance, be "Party in Jessica Biel's ass!", would it?
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I meant to say dawg. Fuck off im drunk
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SHAME ON THEM!!!
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Well, probably. Hot and all, but would you really want to stick your willy where those two have gone? You'd be lucky if you only get a rash.
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said about Jennifer Lopez at the MTV Awards... "Thank your ass,girl! It's like Jennifer Lopez is The Commodores, but the ass is Lionel Ritchie!"
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My dick
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and yes. So say we all that her ass is awesome. Ha ha!!
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...just sadly not as good as Biel's. Plus, I had no idea from the trailers that Schnieder was playing a chinese guy... not a good sign. Thankfully Apatow and Rogan are around to save the summer with their comedies.
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God Bless you, Darren Arnosky.
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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE..
I GOTTA BONER I'D LUV TO SHOVE INTO YOU. -
anybody remember that from back in the AICN day?
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Comedies minus Evan Almighty usually don't cost a lot and if they pass 100 million they are a serious hit. I disagree that Knocked Up will bomb because it only has to make like 50 million to be a hit and most people I know are pumped to see it. Most people think Spider-man and Pirates kind of sucked so I think this will do well this weekend. Superbad on the other hand it matters on its promos and word of mouth like it won't be huge opening weekend but it might have legs. I'm seeing it that first trailer has me sold.
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I like "The Real World". I follow the participants to parties and spike their drinks. Then they wake up in slovakia to be loved with a chainsaw and clawhammers. Spolit Californian teenagers have a life expectancy of 14.
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A Teen Titans movie has been greenlighted by Warner Bros. Scooped again, AICN!
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yesterday in Long Island. Thoughts?
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O'Reilly, fa realzz? Link?
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...watch a movie strictly for a hot girl. So many people will say they'll go see something just because so-and-so is in it, even though it looks like shit. For me, this is that movie.
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culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo culo
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I'd hang up my cock and balls if i ever hit that. Every other woman afterwards would be an anticlimax.
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... her great fucking ass in Texas Chainsaw 2003. This picture confirms. Nice, very nice indeed.
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Ain't no Harrison Ford fetish, but it would definately be something to add to your resume.
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Pull the trigger of my love gun
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I saw her in The Illusionist and she won me over. I think she's one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood.
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It's called a PENIS.
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Best. Ass. Ever. I wonder how many takes it took to get that jiggly shot *just right*? "Make it jiggle a little more Jessica...this time with feeling! Let me adjust that wedgie a bit more..." Damn, to be a fly on the wall during that scene...
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If these two have "overrated" looks, then who exactly is a hot actress? I'm interested to know. I'd also like the people that are calling these two ugly to post pictures of the squirrel that they're skinned. Post them tinyurls, boys...and you have to be in the pic with the chicks. Dumbasses.
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failed? You mean a movie featuring Sandler as a manic depressive, post-9/11 Bob Dylan lookalike, schlubbing around with that hit-upside-the-head with a stupid stick look? Geez, sign me up.I don't get his appeal, although I think he peaked with Happy Gilmore, audiences seem to love the guy. Click looked awful, but still raked in coin. Pairing him with an audience-friendly co star, looks to be easy money. Directed with the, I'm sure, heavy hand of Dennis Dugan.
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Biels hot. Ender Smite rules for his question answered by Willis BTW.
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They'll do anything to get people to watch what remains of a once great cable station.
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That way we can have Jessica on Jessica fights with Biel vs. Alba. Jeez, who do I put my money on for that one?
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I would eat a yard of her shit just to get where it came from! Slurp, MMMMM....
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Very nice!
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OMG see Biel's ass! Alone! On the couch in your parents' basement!
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Rob should totally hit up Mickey Rooney on how to play a Chinese dude
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I'll show you something real
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I'll show you something real
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