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Gee, how boring? SIMS: The Movie?
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. Is it just me or does the idea of a SIMS movie sound like a bad idea? I mean, how boring can this be? 20th Century Fox has the rights to make the flick with a screenplay by SCARY MOVIE 3's Brian Lynch. I have about as much interest in seeing this big screen translation as I do in seeing BRATZ from Lionsgate later this year. Who thinks up this shit?
Readers Talkback
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Sims suck, thatss all
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Sims wow
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-before a sims movie is made. this is an outrage.
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warcraft rules
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Is there some sort of moron-sauce being put in Starbucks coffee in Hollywood these days?
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--and it will officially be the first film in history that was deemed 'worst movie ever' before cameras rolled.
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What the fuck are they smoking?! Hey let's do Frogger the movie or Pong the movie! They'll do a SIMS movie for godsake's but not Halo? Who's bright idea was this anyway? Hey, Hollywood exec., look in to that desk of yours, you know the one you never look in to. There is a pile of ORIGINAL screenplay's just waiting to be read. "Sims: the movie". Jeeez, stupid studio executive ass cock fucks....
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I'm game.
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And it SCREAMS of Steve Carell as Larry!
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http://sh.roosterteeth.com/archive ... not as good as Red vs. Blue I admit, but assuredly far better than this will be.
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I hate it.
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Robert Rodriguez's "Sim City".<p> Bratz will roolz, but only if it's a Hard-R. Or better still, a "soft NC-17"
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What a load of balls.
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Give it to the weird guy. He could create a really fucked up Sims movie where these people start to realise that some one is controling there world. it'll be like the truman show but darker.
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The MI story would be a kickass movie, especially with POTC fresh in peoples mind. It could be The Naked Gun of Pirates movies. And Chris Elliot has to be in it, as something. Either that or Space Quest. Janitors in space? Cinema gold.
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For real? How much coke were they snorting that day? Sims? What are they going to do film a bunch of losers trying to pick up computer chicks at bars? Like seriously... Thank God John Rambo is coming out. Seriously.
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Michael bay is in talks to direct.
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Nah, nothing could make that bizarre idea work.
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Why are you guys knocking this? We have no idea how it'd be done, but that doesn't mean it can't be done well.
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Rated XXX.
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May 25, 2007, 6:30 a.m. CST
Perhaps this is that much-mooted new Carry On Film
by Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling
...and they're pulling Joan SIMMS out of retirement/mothballs.
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...and they're pulling John SIMM out of retirement/mothballs.
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...is run by a bunch of SIMpletons.
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I might just get my Donkey Kong - The Motion Picture film after all..
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The Sims speak gibberish so it's right up Mel's alley.
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thinking about it that sounds pretty good. "dwab dwab dwabba dwab"
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If Jodie Foster is attached to this, maybe we are getting that prequel origin movie.
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Seriously,this film is gonna suck.And its gonna suck hard!But if theyr gonna let it,they may as well add Uwe boll in the hopes of making it go all the way past shit and back to good.
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DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY
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i hope it's at least nc-17
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...I'm there. Mostly because my wife and daughter play the shit out of it.
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then cause fires to break out.
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it runs 18 hours.
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enemy move 25 battleships in and out of one space.
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I think that it could work with the right pitch. <p> I can almost see it now. It could be a comedy parody of something like "The Real World" or "The Osbornes". <p> Five people from different walks of life sharing a house and competing for a $1mil prize. How long before they kill each other or the house kills them? You could even spin it so that you've got one very dysfunctional family that's asked to successfully "play house" for one season to win $1mil. Will they "out Brady" the Brady's or will they go all Bundy? <p> Not my most original idea, ripping off elements from the Truman Show, "reality TV", & the Brady Bunch, but I do think that a Sims movie could work. <p> It just needs a good comedic pitch, some half-way decent hack writers, and maybe Will Ferell as the psychotic patriarch.
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Will Bob Newbie wake up for work in time to take a shower?! Or will he have to go his job as a research assistant all smelly and in his pajamas?! Oh, no! He's just peed on the floor and passed out. On a side note, I always got bored with Sims and would make one of my characters go nuts and wall the other alive a la "Cask of Amontillado".
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I just read the Variety article, since I'm a kneejerk reactionary and I wanted to make that Bob Newbie joke before I actually knew anything. The article says that Lynch wrote and directed "the upcoming" Big Helium Dog which was made a zillion years ago with Kevin Smith and some of Broken Lizard. So does that mean it's finally going to see the day? Or could this all be a hoax?
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Why the hell not? And where's the Oregon Trail, or Carmen Sandiego movies while we're at it??
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why even bother with the straight to dvd release
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Instant hit, I tell you. Instant hit.
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if all the characters talk in sim language.
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He could turn this into a voyeuristic drama of human tragedies and conflicts in the small, closed space of a building. Paul W. S. could write the script.
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I will however take Pong as a substitute if Tetris proves too edgy in the current turbulent political atmosphere. Regardless, both of these games are just screaming for cinematic attention! Come on Hollywoodland, wake up and get to it damn you!
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Two ancient computer programs. Our world. Bill Gates couldn't stop them...CAN YOU?? Pong: Possessing the ability to drive its opponent mad with repetitions of the 'boop' sound effect. Notepad: charging along in a blind rage allowing Windows users to type in one size of one font in one line of one page. No matter which one wins... we lose. On topic: I have no idea what this news even means.
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...thought it was "SMS - The Movie". Now there's a concept... BOYF saves GIRLF in NBD against the H8.
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May 25, 2007, 9:31 a.m. CST
Honestly in this age of Indy 4 and Tomb Raider: Pitfall
by Cletus Van Damme
A pitfall movie could be good. Bruce Campbell as Pitfall Harry, a poor man's Indy Jones.
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In a Kaufman 2 reality sort of way. Too tired to use my imagination more than that at the moment.
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Cripes
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minus Judd Nelson's all-emcompassing nostrils?
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I see no relation to the game. just a label to grab whoever spends more than 6 hours a day on that game. though it sounds more stupid to do it live action. But believe ,e its gonna have that desperate housewives storyline with a lot more wanna be funny rubbish in it, in a setting similar to the one in Edward Scissorhands.
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Blah blah blah.
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Get this fucker on this project...NOW!
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Now there is a project with near limitless possibilites.
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May 25, 2007, 9:56 a.m. CST
Fall 2008, Jessica Alba & Nic Cage will HUNT THE WUMPUS
by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports
Nic's going to shoot it with a crooked arrow so he can make a toupee out of it.
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The more this is the best thing ever. The plot thickens: Two characters get stuck in a doorway because they both tried to walk through at the same time. Hopelessly trapped! And yes. This definately should be in sims' speak. Could you imagine the screenplay?? I know if I was an exec and that landed on my desk the reaction would be "WHAT IS THIS MADNESS??!! Somebody needs to greenlight this shit!"
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And then I fart on a biscuit and feed it to my neighbor's dog while spraying his kids with the water hose.
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Starring the voice of Hal as the Chessmaster
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THAT is a movie I'd watch, just for the supreme fucked-uppedness of it. All Simlish, no subtitles, and all sorts of intimate and non-action moments with the protagonist, like taking a bath, making lunch, sitting down for 2 minutes reading a book, watching TV for a few minutes... Just fuck with the audience! <p> And make sure to make EVERYTHING in Simlish. All the dialogue, all the music, all the signs and lettering; EVERYTHING. And I mean it-- NO subtitles. Leave the audience to figure out what's happening by paying attention. This could be awesome if done by someone with a twisted sense of humor and no regard for his audience. It could be a big "fuck you" film, which would make it a cult classic.
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scary movie 3 was the best one, right? I'm interested...although because the Sims are just characters doing day to day activities, nothing special, (unless you count making children "special") you can pretty much make up anything for their story. It could be funny. I'm predicting the most successful videogame movie of all time.
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Estay Blahkedu!
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It sounds like they're going in a more meta route than one would initially think. I imagine it will be something like Adaptation, a movie about playing the game rather than a movie based on the game. (Note: I haven't actually seen Adaptation.)
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...just keep Uwe Boll away from it. Maybe get that Twyker guy from Run Lola Run to do it, and put a lot of philosophical subtext in about decision making, fate, etc. Or they could get Pixar to do it in CGI... just some random thoughts.
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#include <iostream> using namespace.std; int main() { int sims = boring; while (sims == boring} { cout<< "What the Fuck?\n" } } return 0
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... dude, you're making Sylar look rational.
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MYST 3D, now that would rock as a vid game adaptation.
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SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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So will this be reverse-Pleasantville meets Tron, Truman Show meets Stepford Wives, and is there any way that Luke Wilson WON'T be involved? Because this sounds like something he'd do.
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Seriously, this is the dumbest idea ever.
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It'll be about a bunch of people living their lives and doing mundane things, until one day they realize their actions/decision are being controlled by a bunch of omnipotent beings and they must find a way to regain control of their own destinies...directed by Spike Jonze
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Or just give it to Uwe Boll.
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It will be 4 hours long!
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Also, they should do a Mail Order Monsters movie. It would rock.
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...the moment where the main character pees on the floor and then falls asleep will get a huge laugh in the trailer. That's a $20 million opening weekend right there.
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They just did an episode where two of the protagonists latched onto a computer system that let them run civilizations, design their hairstyles, tweak their dislikes, and everything else. Turned out they were linked into two civilizations on the same planet. McKay, the guy who has a crush on Carter on SG-1, made all of his female "characters" have her blonde hairstyle. So you can do something creative with the concept. But hey, it's a Hollywood spinoff/tie-in project, so what are the odds?
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If they're going to turn one of his games into a movie, why not just wait until Spore comes out? That would actually make a decent movie if they treated it as a faux documentary about various alien lifeforms, and how they live and survive.
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Rated R for strong language, racism, and homophobic rants
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i can so see them doing some sorta Click ripoff...having the game exist in the movie and then somehow, they're able to control real people with it...or something similar...lol
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Plot thickens more: One Sim ends up trapped - swimming in a pool for days on end after a mysterious divine presence deletes the pool ladder. I'm telling you. I would see this movie-film.
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please make this, i'd like it as a lord of the rings ripoff like say, eragon?
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Kane Kosugi played Ryu Hayabusa in DOA, get some pornstar to play rachel, Briana Banks yeah!!
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Best idea I've hear in a long time Van Buren. You need a tag line though.
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Just think how exciting that would be! It would feature a young blonde hero who teams up with some rascally comedy pirates and they'd set sail to find a secret of some sort. It would have a voodoo priestess in it who would surround herself with freaky stuff in jars, a ghostly villian who looks sorta decomposing and there's be grog and cannons and stuff....Hollywood, if you're listening, this would be the perfect vehicle for someone like..erm... johnny Depp..... Wait a second...
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HA HA HA HHHHAAAHH..... What, they're serious? HA HA HA HA HA HA...
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This needs David Lynch. Now, back to it. Peter Jackson for JLA!
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well, if the justice league movie can get green lit...
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Somebody has to do the worst movie of the year...
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it was all a cover up, THEY BURIED E.T.!!
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dont eat yourself
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Weirdly enough, I'd thought about the idea of a Sims-type script a while ago... What if it's from the POV of the Sims, and one of them slowly comes to realize he's nothing but a digital toy? What if he found a way to affect his life while his "creator" wasn't playing? Done right, it could be like a digital version of The Truman Show. Smart and funny and dealing with existential ideas.
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All the Frogger and old game references inspired me to create two fake movie trailers. Sentences starting with an * should be read in the movie guy voice. Dig Dug: To Hell and Back *All Dig Dug Wanted to do was dig in the dirt “I’m going to dig farther than anyone’s ever dreamed of!” *Until one day, he dug too deep, and unleashed an unimaginable evil “They’re everywhere Dig Dug! Help!” *Now, all Dig Dug wants to do, is unearth an asskicking “I have to finish this!” *He’s traded in his shovel for a shotgun, “They’re all around you!” *And he won’t stop until the threat is buried “DIRT NAPS FOR EVERYONE!” *Dig Dug: To Hell and Back *Tunneling your way June 20th Frogger: The Return “We can rebuild him, we have the technology!” *The frog is coming back, and this time, traffic doesn’t stand a chance “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?? WHAT KIND OF TWISTED S.O.B. WOULD GIVE A CYBORG FROG A JET PACK AND MISSLE LAUNCHER?!” *This summer, the road kill hits back “Oh my God, what is that?” *One Frog “We have to find a way to stop him before it’s too late!” *One Mission “He’s coming back around!” *One Hundred Ways To Kill “He’s taken out the bridge!” *Revenge is a dish best served with frog legs “We’ve only got one shot at this!” *Frogger: The Return *In Theatres Everywhere August 2nd
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youch.
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rated Puzzle
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With pirates being so popular today, it could work. As for Street Fighter... I think that would work better as a Heroes type tv show.
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if they made it like tron, and had real people trapped inside the game dying gruesome deaths
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A Spike Lee Joint?
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seriously i always thought someone would do that one. has it been done before?
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based on the videogame that was based on the latest movie that was based on the prior videogame that was based on the first movie that was based on the initial videogame.
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give it to a smart director (maybe Michel Gondry) and this could be pure genius you could have people living next to the poor guy keeps wetting himself, people could disappear from school suddenly anf people just accept he went to military school. Babies appearing in the background of shots as a matter of course, kids who just never grow up. people suddenly performing completely irrational actions for reasons they can't really explain, as if they just got the idea into their head, every house has the same furniture (unless that family is richer than yours then they have the sofa with comfort:7) it would probably have to get abit Trueman show after that though
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Come on! The Legend of Zelda would be a great movie franchise in the hands of the right filmakers.
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Haha.
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Is to go the Truman Show/Stranger Than Fiction route, where people begin to realize that their lives are a video game and their actions are being controlled by others. It needs a great script and director to work.
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Take a look at Baudrillard's (recently deceased, unfortunately) writing about the way society reproduces something over and over until it becomes the original itself, yet has no grounding in reality. Like this stupid shit. Early 90s--"Hey let's make a game based loosely on the mythology of persians, a nice side-scroller, we'll call it prince of persia" Mid 90s--"Hey let's start remaking old movies" Early 00s--"Hey let's start remaking games, that prince of persia looks good (?)" By this point just about no one knows the prince of persia series yet is exposed to some movie based on an obscure copy/abstraction of persian mythology. It just becomes more and more meaningless. Just an increasing lack of originality, with fewer reference points, going on autopilot until society self destructs. Cheers
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*Shots of Jet Li walking with and kissing Holly Valance* Keiji Thomas was a man who made peace with his past, and tried to live happy with the love of his life...*Shot of a man whose face cannot be seen* However, his past demons...*Shot of Holly while being kidnapped by a big man* caught up with him *Jet Li talks on his cell phone* WHERE IS SHE? WHERE? *shot of Holly gagged in a chair while crying, then shot of a huge dojo-like building* She's at our old playhouse, Keiji...or have you forgotten? *Close up of Li*...Mr. X... *Shot of Li in front of the dojo, while lot's of guards come to fight him him; he fights back while Mr.X talks* You have 24 hours to come and rescue her. Oh, and the gang is aching to see you again *Quick shots of: Jin from LOST as the Stick Fighter; an unknown Australian actor as the Boomerang Fighter; Michael Clarke Duncan as Mr. Big; Verne Troyer as the Black Magician* They never forgot you...*Li fighting the Knife Throwers while Mr.X still speaks* You will pay for what you did! TO ALL OF US! *Quick shots while orchestra plays: Li watching in horror a swarm of Killer Bees coming towards him; Dwarfs ready to pile up on him; a Boomerang hitting Li in the face; Holly being undressed against her will; Clarke Duncan throwing a Punch at the camera; the Dojo burns while Li and Mr.X fight; Troyer reaching a snake from a bag; a dragon opening his smokey mouth and last scene is Li throwing a High Kick while screaming HIYA!!!!* Black, then *KUNG-FU MASTER - THE MOVIE *Quick shot of Mr.X's face revealed to be Chow Young Fat* DIE!!! *Coming in 2008* Rated R *
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Prince of persia is pretty much based off of popularized stereotypes about "the persia of yore" from the hollywood system, so here you go again- another disgusting example of reverse bottom feeding to no end. Just think of that scene in starship troopers where the brain bug sticks its thing in your head and suchs the brains out. The schlupping sound..
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Maybe their aproach will be more in the line of A.I., you know, with people getting their SIMS, a society where you dont really know who is a SIM and who is real, and then you realize that you are a SIM yourself and you find yourself in the Sixth Day.
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90 minutes of this alien with a sticky ball picking up bigger and bigger items until he rolls up the world. Make it happen
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I can only express puzzlement that borders on alarm...
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Gotta be that douche....
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Calling something "The Movie" is so low rent. Zippidy-do, yah?
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...are only one notch above LARPers, filkers and furry porn fans on the geek scale.
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It won't work, it just really won't work. Stupid, stupid, stupid. The whole point of Sims is that YOU CONTROL THESE CHARACTERS. Watching the game is boring...unless you actually play it. P.S. Michael Bay, thanks for ruining Transformers.
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they sleep on the roof, shower in the yard, make prank phone calls and get in fist fights with their neighbors, become criminal masterminds, neglect their children, paint pictures of toilets, have last names like "turd" and "dumpy", look for ghosts and aliens, and the women have sex with eachother. I think that would be a good movie.
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they move on to peripherals, components and programming languages. SERIAL BUS:THE MOVIE, 250 MB ZIP DRIVE:THE MOVIE, VISUAL C++: THE MOVIE.
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I swear I recall seeing on this site, or maybe another one, that there was a plan to bring a live-action 'Pac-Man' film to theaters. Did this finally fall through or is it still in pre-production? I don't see how either that game or The Sims could work as a movie, let alone be made into a film and not fail miserably. So, does anyone else remember the Pac-Man movie rumors?
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I wonder what their fucking target audience is? Who the FUCK asked for a Sims movie?
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It looks like you're writing a movie. Would you like help?
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May 26, 2007, 8:06 p.m. CST
This movie needs to crossover with other video games
by Magical Jew Eyes
For instance, the silent dude from GTA III could steal the family car and drive it to Raccoon City. The sims have to get it back by fighting Umbrella mutants and the Pac Man ghosts, all while trying to get the high score. It will be a cinematic tour de force.
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- Starring who else but Shia LaBeouf! That fucker gets everywhere.
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So you think this is a bad idea for a movie? I can think of a hundred bad ideas that Hollyweird churns out every year which you guys think rock. Why is this any different?
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it's also better than HALO!
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Cuz it's got gun n explosions n shootin' n stuff. That's why it's better. Never mind STORY! Wish they'd stop making films outta video games and for that matter COMIC BOOKS. Give us all a break.
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rated nc-17, natch
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how about..writing something? something NEW?? If I see another movie based on a videogame, comicbook, themepark, historic character, comicbook based on a historic character, 70's tv show, 80's cartoon, etc etc etc Im gonna bang my head againt a wall until I die. So that means Im gonna die soon.
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and you're exactly the target demographic for Bratz too. They must be so disappointed you're not interested. Either that or they don't give a shit what you think, you self-important twit. Sheesh.
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May 28, 2007, 4:27 p.m. CST
Since It's Coming From the Writer Of SCARY MOVIE 3....
by ThePhantomPenis
It could be funny. They are probably going to make it a comedy!
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but come to think of it Sims is even better.
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Thankyou.
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Greenlit this morning.
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