Cool News
From the 'You Read It Here First' Department: HE-MAN the movie confirmed!!!
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. Yep, that's right. The trades are running with a story this very morning that Moriarty broke last Friday (CLICK IT HERE TO READ THAT STORY!). So, what's the news?
As we reported, Justin Marks (upcoming VOLTRON and STREET FIGHTER) is writing, Joel Silver is producing and Warner Bros is distributing.
Oddly, the trade stories don't have much new information, just that (of course) He-Man hasn't been cast yet and that the pitch was selling it like a kiddie version of 300... which could be really bad.
I grew up with HE-MAN and as much nostalgia as I have for the Dolph Lundgren movie, it never came close to being anything remotely like the cartoon. I mean, a He-Man movie with hardly any Eternia? I want Cringer/Battle Cat, dammit! Hell, I even want Orko! Yeah, you heard me. Orko.
I think there's a potential for a great HE-MAN fantasy flick that has not been tapped. I'll keep my fingers crossed that these guys pull it off well. Thoughts?
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por fin el primer comentario
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REALLY?
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Justin Marks = voltron was an awesome movie....
but S.F = sucks ...so I hope he will write a decent script -
Now THAT would be great.
Kurt Russell - Liono
Michael Clarke Duncan - Panthro
Angelina Jolie - Cheetara
Brad Pitt -Tigra
Or something. -
lol sorry
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I'm not even sure what that's supposed to mean.
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sorry ... long day at work
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And SHE-RA is such a lesbo.
Bring on the sexual confusion! -
No pageboy haircut = flames on Optimus.
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get ready parents.
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May 24, 2007 4:45:56 AM CDT
Say, how about a hard R version of The Little Mermaid?
by boondock devil
Verhoevan should be all over that one. As for He-Man they're so off... they should go back to the original concept which was a kiddie version of Conan. By Crom.
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I suppose you have go the kiddy route with a film like this, although I'd prefer if they took the whole thing deadly seriously and went for that R rating and whatnot, but still called it He-Man. That could be funny as hell.Will there be masters of the universe? I hope so. Man At Arms and that. Snake Boy or whatever.
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i have the power!!!!!!!
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i'm confused
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There's just no way there can be a faithful adaption without it being kind of goofy and weird. If anything they should go with a new animated series of movies. Perhaps even go with the TMNT and Gatchaman route and make that sucker a cg movie.
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Yeah, we don't get enough of that shit already.
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I grew up with HE-MAN but that movie with cortney cox was so bad,whats the fucks up with gwildor??..defantly a poor mans orco.
Watching the cartoon again when the best of dvd hit i couldnt even watch them,HE MAN is so gay its pathetic.I have no intrest in this right now. -
Yeth yeth
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Millius must come back!
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i'd like to know how theyre going to tackle the subject that (the very gay, pink-shirted) prince adam looks EXACTLY like he-man (what a gay name). he doesnt even have any spectacles to throw people off. he just changes his clothes to become his alter-ego.
buti do want to see a live action trap-jaw, whiplash, etc... -
Guys, check this out. If we're going to see a live-action He-man movie, I hope they would consider going in this direction. Though...a kiddie version of 300 doesn't sound so encouraging. Really blew my mind though. I believe this guy is currently re-designing X-men. Art by Marko Djurdjevic
http://tinyurl.com/2mjouy -
sorry
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Y'know, He-Man and Skeletor are already two (2) characters! And I'm sure there will be at least two more! And these characters are not from Earth, they are from Eternia! So that will confuse the hell out of the viewers!
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mmmm....Cheetara.
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I grew up on He-Man too, but come on. How about a movie for 2008, not 1988. ....That said, can they get Heath Ledger to play Skeletor?
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Reinvent the whole fucking thing so He-Man is totally badass. Fuck, then have some ugly motherfucker play hordak. Story sounds good anyway.
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I grew up on he-man and my inner child wants to see a faithful he-man movie adaptation with all the trimmings (orco! battlecat! castle grayskull!).However on the other hand , if a he man movie was faithfully done with all the trimmings would it still appeal to me as it would have when i was a kid ? I mean come on , Talking cats? Half naked Muscle men dressed in space age bondage gear? A hero called "he-man" ? Would i be able to see past such a child freindly concept? Would i be embarressed to go see it without the company of a 6 year old cousin ? Time will tell. I 'll keep my eyes on this project.
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...this won't be over quickly. I am not your He-Man.
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I checked out those designs . I didnt really like the designs for the heroes (emo he man ? no thanks ), but the villain designs were brilliant, particularly buzz off and clawful. You can see evil-lyns tities and everything !
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Somebody had to say it!
But seriously im raiding my parents house after work tonight as they have all my old He-Man figures stashed in there loft, Consider me very f#cking excited for this!! -
Laurence Fishburne as Panthro Uma Turman as Cheetara Neal McDonough as Tigra John Glover as Jaga Jack Black as Snarf Terry O'Quinn as Lynxo Gilfred Gottfried/The Boogeyman (WWE) as Mumm-Ra Oliver Platt as Slythe Willem Dafoe as Jackalman JK Simmons as Vultureman Ron Perlman as Monkian Shermdawg as The guy who'll be first in line HELLZ TO THE YES.
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JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN AS FLINT!!! YES FLINT!!! FUCK DUKE!!!
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NO CHESTPLATE NEEDED, THE CELTIC CROSS WILL BE SCARS!!! ugh.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEcd71Hfpy8 Part 2 is flagged, so ya gotta log in to see. ;)
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Will some of you people visiting this site write some original screenplays so they'll STOP making films based on garbage? Please? Or will we allow "them" to subject us to a film version of every crappy TV show and Saturday morning cartoon solely based on the fact that those programs are presold, have name recognition...which is inane logic, because Herpes and the Clap have name recog, but I don't want to see them bigger and badder than ever before.
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No free publicity from Falwell.
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A couple of weeks ago a girl I know told me she read in one of the crappy papers over here that Brad Pitt would be playing He-Man. As if.
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a pointless remake, trying to capture the nostaglia market
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But I have no idea what a kiddie version of 300 is supposed to look like, I don't even wanna comprehend that. The 80's version of He-man was really, MST3K cheesy kinda fun, so this new one can't be any worse than that. Now if you really wanna make a remake from an 80's cartoon then i would go with "Captain N: The Game Master".... bwahahahahaha I can't believe I said that with a straight face.... god i need coffee
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I have been working on a project to make an original Castle Greyskull toy into a computer server...got everything mounted and just missing a CD/DVD drive at this point. I even bought Point Dread with Talon Fighter and modded that into an external USB drive with a wireless router and USB hub. I also have a Man-E-Faces figure which I hollowed out and fitted a webcam inside so that his face is the cam. Way cool. Maybe the new movie will make my Server Greyskull worth something.
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Sure he's old but who cares? Anything is better then Dolph right?
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They should use them same shots of He-Man running over and over like Filmation used to do.
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Doug Jones as Skeletor
Jason Statham as Beast Man
Lance Henricksen as Man at Arms
Parker Posey as Evilyn
Leelee Sobieski as Teela
Wee Man as Orko -
OR JIM CARREY
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in the history of tv cartoons. DUNCAN - MAN AT ARMS!
Who ever plays he-man. He will have to say I have the power and mean it. He- man is so camp. Joel Silver should set-up a she-rah movie and set in the modern world. She-rah the crime fighter. -
and it wrecked his career. ditto. for courteney cox. Her career was saved when she starred as herself in friends. Dont believe me. privately all other cast members said that Monica and courtney were in distinguishable.she was the one who negoitiated their deals with the network. Hmmmm. Is she gay. I wonder. Courtney cox denies this but. there was all this brughahahahahaha about that failed show she did where she kissed Jennifer anniston. He-man is cery campy. who knows....
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Have sat down and watched one of those cartoons lately? Go to you tube, and you'll see they're horrible. Just horrible. It's amazing the kind of stupid shit you love when you're only five years old.
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Orko was the greatest. And he's just MADE for CG animation. Gimme pure simple '80s cartoon Orko, not the fancier 21st century version with the stupid pattern on his clothes.
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Watch The Unexciting Adventures of Unemployed Skeletor!
Found on youtube and at www.myspace.com/unemployedskeletor
Also available,40+ "Blogs of Evil"
I think there funny,ofcourse I can be weord sometimes....don't judge.Who the hell am I kidding,this is the AICN talkbacks!;)
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The new He-Man cartoon that came out a few years back was a great updating of the original. I never understood why it didn't seem to catch on and become very popular. Stupid-ass kids.
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is the real question on my mind
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He WILL be cast as Prince Adam. Or at least considered. You know it and here is where you saw it.
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whoever said or says heman isn't as good as remembered or whatever is wrong. i baught the first season and the final season dvd's so far and i can tell you that yes the final season is hilarious junk, no real storylines, just skeletor messing around withheman just for the sake of being evil, but the first season has awesome fantasy plots and good characterization. the last season has an episode where heman and man at arms shrink down inside a computer though... it rules!
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The Rock as He-Man, I could see that working. Let's NO-ONE can talk cheese like The Rock, NO_ONE!!!
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May 24, 2007 7:25:35 AM CDT
And the Thundercats movie MUST be titled THE SAMOFLANGE
by stalin vs predator
"What the fook is a samoflange?!?", you ask? And THAT is the correct question to ask.
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The Rock as He-Man, I could see that working. Let's face it NO-ONE can talk cheese like The Rock, NO_ONE!!! (slight typo, damn wireless keyboard!)
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Furthermore, where is the live Disney movie. They could redesign Mickey and Donald to be "grim" and "gritty" and "creepy" and "gothic". Because that's what the 15-year-olds (in mind, not body) like and want, right?
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There's your damn He-Man movie! Been there, done that. Hollywood once again reminds us of their great lack of originality.
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If they leave any of the major players out, they suck.
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May 24, 2007 7:31:56 AM CDT
Oh, wait, seriously, something needs to be explained.
by stalin vs predator
Are they basing it on the real "Masters of the Universe" or on that pukesian cartoon remake garbage that ran on TV a couple of years ago and, thankfully, was canceled soon after its debut...?
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There's nothing you can do with the idea. Masters of the Universe did as much as they could with that worthless idea.
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I kinda liked the old Dolph Lundren movie. Sure it was pure 80's cheese, but it was pretty fun. Plus, it had Principal Strickland from Back to the Future, which I always found pretty neat.
Besides, to all those Gwildor haters, Orko didn't suck any less. His whole gimmick was based on the fact that he was lame, remotely cutesy, and you never saw his face (kinda like that dude from Home Improvement.) He was basically Snarf in a scarf. -
his calendar is wide open to play the role he was born for.
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there was a study in the 80's that showed that kids who watched He-Man became violent to their fellow human. That spirit needs to be kept in the new movie. Lots of VIOLENCE!! The best description is a futuristic version of Conan the barbarian who massacres a technological enemy with a sick sword (a'la Stormbringer) and a manicness like the Hulk. If they cant do that then He-Man will not work.
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Alright the first movie sucked balls like-but Frank Langella was FANTASTIC as Skeletor. Seriously, it was a brilliant campy villain performance, which is all you can expect from a He Man movie. Dont y'all remeber-
"Oh what consequence are you now? This planet, these people, they are NOTHING TO ME!! The universe is POWER!! PURE-UN-STOP-ABLE POWER!!! AND I AM THTA FORCE, I AM THAT POWER!! KNEEL BEFORE YOUR MASTER!!"
seriously, twas great. Dolph was shite though..... -
and not have it look completely stupid. I mean, you'd have to depart SO FAR from the look, costumes, and even NAMES for it not so be totally gay. C'Mon, "Ram Man"? "Skeletor"? Even just "He-Man?!??" This is gonna look more like a bigger budget Roger Corman movie.
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Vin Diesel in a horrible neon yellow wig! Also when are we gonna get our Bionic 6, Silverhawks,Bravestar,Go Bots, Jayce and the wheeled warriors and Jem movies. Can anyone else tell me of any other crappy 80's cartoon that could be made into a movie?
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"Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword"...uh huh. I'm sure we all remember *that* day, huh guys?
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I don't like to quote John Byrne, but he once said that MotU the Movie was an excellent interpretation of Jack Kirby's Fourth World (New Gods, Darkseid, etc.) to the big screen.
And if you think about it, it really makes a heck of a lot better sense considering all the "new characters" they added for no apparent reason. -
WTF are these guys smoking that makes them think that this is a slam dunk. They only people who even know who the hell He-Man is are guys my age---over 30, and they will make PG-13 movie that we can drag our kids to. I didn't even like He-Man, I was a Transformer kind of guy and my kids think I am geeked out for wanting to see that, your kids will think that you have closeted sexual issues if you drag them to see this.----phew I am done.
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He still looks great at 60 as he showed in Rocky Balboa and the trailer for John Rambo. The movie could be about He-Man in his later years. Why does it have to be a younger guy? The Rock would be predictable casting. Sly in the lead and as director would rock!
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He-Man decapitates Skeletor.
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do they?
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Prince Adam and He-man are NEVER in the same room at the same time! WTF? Anyone else notice this shit? Something's going on... You think they could be involved in the Kennedy assassination in some way?
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...is to make it along the lines of Princess Bride. Serious in the right moments, but with an overall whimsical feel.
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cue overly-hyper, retarded fanboy excitement.
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Why not just make it x-rated. You know its just going to be gay porn with bad special effects anyways.
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It's gotta go the whole fucking LOTR fantasy-reality route. Put He-Man in jocks, no prob. Big motherfucking sword. I mean, HUGE fucking sword! Swing it round then power that bastard up! "BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL! I HAVE THE POWER!" Could easily work. And I don't think it lacks originality. He-Man is a known character so it's worth it. And imagine him riding Battle Cat!
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it could be badass if done by the right people. this one could be the origin story and i'd have no problem with that. it's redoing the superman origin story that i have a problem with, over and over and over again. i would like to see it R but the star wars's were mostly pg and they were fine. personally i'd like to see a remake of YOR the HUnter from the future.
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You KNOW you want to hear that news.
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Forget He-Man! We just want to see Orco!
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Man at arms is green
He Man is shirtless
Teela is wearing essencially a bathing suit
And Orko has NO Lips!!!
I swear if they put flames on Battle Cat Ill cry -
...and slap a blond Bruce Jenner wig on The Rock...and awwwaaay we go! In case you don't realize it this is supposed to be funny, & not to be taken as serious ideas. Neither should making this movie (unless it's cg w/the understanding that it's for kids like the recent TMNT). This thing on? These are the jokes here folks...
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ceERPc3pyw
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flames on Battle Cat gotta eat!
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It was bad slang when it was coined and an even dumber concept when the used it to name an idiot cartoon character. I sort of lost faith in peoples intelligence when it became a popular cartoon. It's beyond me. I didn't see the Dolph Lundrgen version and won't see this, either.
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Genocide against all nerds. Stop this comic book-to-bad film madness!
The guy's already writing VOLTRON and STREET FIGHTER. Can we not get UN sanctions against this kind of shit? -
How many 80's toys are they going to make into movies? How about Go Bots or MASK?
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Then it will suck! Or actually be really great. Maybe somewhere in the middle.
I think Patton Oswalt should be Orko. -
...that this media-fed nostalgia for substandard garbage (Transformers, He-Man, Ninja Turtles, Dukes of Hazzard, whatever)- that only existed as a hook on which to hang toy and cereal ads and target people's wallets through their children- is one of the biggest factors contributing to the realization of the world of IDIOCRACY. Please read some books, watch something that didn't come out of Hollywood or from your childhood, when it was ok to not know any better. Maybe read a newspaper (or, better yet, google some news that isn't processed through major media outlets) and learn something about the people who are campaigning for the right to take over ruling your lives next year. Maybe if you pay attention, you'll get someone honest and competent this time around. Am I ranting? I guess so, but He-Man? Come on, folks! I'm a geek too: I am as excited as hell about The Dark Knight and Iron Man, just to name two. Maybe that makes me a hypocrite, but at least I draw the line somewhere. At least I have a filter. Get some standards, and help save the future, like a good-guy robot or something.
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Prince Adam sucks.
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An updated He-Man movie would be great. It must be darker with no sissy furry underwear and lame haircut. I can see He-Man, CG Orko and Battlecat, a really scary looking Skeletor and sexy as all hell Evil-Lyn with barely anything on. She can do her magic thing. The Sorceress will need work as her thing in feathers would look really bad live action. Dear god, if they pull off Castle Greyskull in all its gothic, weird looking glory then consider my theater seat permanently stained.
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It isn't really that great of a series. I loved it when I was like 4. But man, have you watched that crap lately? He runs like a fag (Not that there's anything wrong with that) The love people show for He-Man is based entirely upon nostolgia.
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I can't see anyone else as He-Man, now that I've thought of him...
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ugh...
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Seriously, they'll screw this up.
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He-man is awesome because of it's fantasy/sci fi mix. Nail that, and you're golden. The 80's He-man movie was shit because it went all sci-fi and no fantasy.
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...was virtually unwatchable. I don't understand anyone's appreciation for this utter piece of crap. It shouldn't have even been called Masters of the Universe. There was NOTHING from the figures/cartoons except for a god awful He-Man and an equally shitty Skeletor? Gwyldor??? What the fuck was that? Earth setting? Are you kidding me? Complete shit. And this is coming from a true Masters/He-Man aficionado. I still have EVERY ONE of the action figures stored away in the attic. My love for Masters/He-Man could not get any bigger, but that atrocity of a film from back in the 80's was a disgrace in every sense.
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Okay, this is more of a remagining.
I want them to remake CLASH OF THE TITANS. I can't think of a better film to revisit with today's technology. Sure, the old stop motion will always hold a place in my heart – but I want to see the CGI version. -
It has all of the elements of great mythology. They just need to be sure to keep it fun and play up the archtypes. And I'd like to see Orko, too. If they want to make him less annoying that would be nice, but I like the overall function of the character and his design. They'd better keep the basis for the iconic designs. I don't want to see Eternia looking like Scotland or something and He-Man looking like he escaped from Teen Beat.
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the older more mature version of Adam (who will eventually be King of Eternia) mystically brought into the present. At least, that is how I would explain it.
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Yes, the animation and budget were limited but they told great stories about important ideas. Unlike today's cartoons which are about a whole lot of nonsense. I would be quite happy to plant a child in front of He-Man cartoons instead of Pokemon.
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You can't have a He-Man movie without Fisto. The character name alone will bring in the audience.
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"You will believe a Camaro can fly..."
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I know it's not hard to take He-Man seriously, but I don't care. It'll be fun for me.
Get Langella back to play Skeletor! -
(henrydalton): Angelina Jolie as Cheetara is correct. You win the award for "spankworthiest casting." (epitone): He-Man sucks so much -- I mean, I refused to watch it even as a kid; there was not one good thing in that show or any of its spinoffs [except maybe that SHE-RA episode where the young dragon wanted to fuck the human girl, but even that was so bad that I couldn't watch it, even back then] -- how are you going to do it in a PRINCESS BRIDE way? How can you do something half-seriously if there's nothing to take seriously? I have a much better idea: hire Mike Hodges and have him do it a la FLASH GORDON. Maybe cast Ornella Muti as Evil-Lyn or whatever. I would totally watch that. (Stalin vs. Predator): What the fuck is a Samoflange? If there's a TC movie it should have one name only: TC: REVENGE OF THE TECHNOPEDE. Of course the episode with the Technopede stank, but the animation was amazing. Incidentally, the only way you could do a TC film is to have Leonard Starr write it. He was literally the only good writer on that show. (darrenspool): The giant-sword idea is actually good, but it has to be really ridiculously enormous -- like the sword the "hero" of BASTARD carries around, where he actually has to carry it over his shoulder. Then he swings it and wipes out a dozen guys at once. That would be pretty awesome actually.
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Can't go wrong with a parallel universe and a hot sister.
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Stallone will be to busy making a Lincoln Hawk sequel
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May 24, 2007 1:39:25 PM CDT
A seriously bad idea. How about a Hard-R Thundercats?
by allpowerfulwizardofoz
Unless they made a serious adult He-Man movie there is no way this could work. It sounds like shit. Personally I would love to see a live action ass kicking Hard-R Thundercats movie get made. I am sure someone out there is working on that idea right now. Yeah right.
THUNDERCATS HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! -
Steve Austin as Man-At-Arms! Heh-heh!!
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incestuous relationship. That got really weird in the cartoons.
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May 24, 2007 1:50:47 PM CDT
And just to be the dick that gets this started.
by allpowerfulwizardofoz
Thundercats IMO has WAY more Mythology and development of story lines potential then Transformers or He-Man combined.
They could do soooo much more with that series if it was made into a live action film series and done right. The stories were rich in detail and the characters were fantastic. -
They better have it.
And where is John Woo to direct? 90% of my previous interest was the curiosity of him directing. -
I'm glad to see that not every geek here is a retard. These cartoons might have been fun and exciting for you when you were a kid, but dear God do those cartoons suck when you watch them now. I don't care how much of a man child you are, leave your childhood behind and focus on getting a "hard R" Captain Power movie made!
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The Super Naturals, ThunderCats...I mean really what next, duck tales?
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a fucking he man movie!? jeez bring on the fucking nerds for this one...
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That line must be in the film!! Masters of the Universe the movie still ranks as a classic to me. Beastman scared the SHIT out of me when I was a kid! This has my vote of approval!
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Those are apparently the ultimate fashion statement in Eternia.
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must play Snarf in the Thundercats movie! Also, He-man is so fucking gay.
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you can't have a He-Man movie. Thundercats can deviate from the character designs a big, though. Lion-O would look like he's in clownface.
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becoming a man instead of an arrested adolescent with bodily function metaphors?
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of those hairy shorts to Conan's face. But you take advantage of He-Man's kindness - unkind!
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Anyone gonna start up about the source material? Because I remember nothing about the cartoon but some oozing gayness.
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I'm not a fanboy by any means, but I am really starting to get sick of the Hollywood treatment to established stories they are "adapting" to film. Give me a break, they must really get off on themselves as artists to think it is ok to butcher the source material. I read that the story line they are currently pushing is for He-Man to be a soldier who stumbles upon a magical sword in an alternate universe of Eternia and Skeletor is a tyrant trying to erase magic with his advanced technology. What a load of crap! Don't adapt a movie if you are not going to just use the name and a couple aspects. There is nothing wrong with taking liberties when you just have to, but come on now, you have to go by the established story! Someone needs to smack these studios around and knock them off their pedestals they are on.
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I liked one scene in the old He-Man movie, where Skeletor says, "Show me!" to his underlings and all those galaxies and planets zoom by on a huge monitor filled with hexagons and finally show someone's house and he says, "There! That's close enough." Or words similar.
I'm curious how a Thundercats movie would work... I keep thinking the protagonists would look like they were from the musical Cats with stuff painted on their face. -
simple - tie-in potential, pure and simple. potential tv show, fast food deals, comic book re-introduction, the cingular verizon cell phone, toys, video games, and on and on and on. Lest we mention the complete dearth in hollywood of original ideas. they better pre-sell the shit out of this b/c it aint making jack shit domestic.
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Lundgren is available!!!! hahahahaahaha who cares really!!!!!!!!!!!:|
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When I saw the headline, I thought, "this could only work if they make it a good camp-fest like Street Fighter or Xena." So, it makes sense that Justin Marks is attached. Except that, unless you're referring to the game, Street Fighter (1994) was penned and directed by geek-screenwriter extrordinaire Steven E. de Souza. OK, so SF is not the greatest flick in the world, but quite fun, and wasn't it the great Raul Julia's last film? (The scene where you see his Gen. M. Bison character painting "sad clown" self portraits was golden.) This re-tooling sounds like a perfect project for the OLD Sam Raimi. And, yes, BRUCE as Skeletor AND He-Man, a la ED:AOD!!! Actually, this is a role that does seem to have the name "Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson" written all over it. Of course, the effects and action must rock and, for that matter, there should also be a lot of metal on the soundtrack, so maybe The D should do the score.
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Seriously ... why the hell would anyone make a He-Man film over Thundercats. Thundercats was superior in every way to He-Man. Come on ... the Eye of Thundera vs. the Power of Grayskull. The eye wins every time.
Shit, back in the day Transformers and Thundercats were the Knight Rider and A-Team of the animated world. That's what I'm talkin bout.
Lion-O and Cheetara FTW! -
So I read to the end of the Vartiety article and saw that Justin Marks is adpating the Street Fighter v-game for a NEW, highly anticipated, re-make of Street Fighter: the Movie. Will wonders ever cease?
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and so are we for watching the shit they make.
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relationship that was hinted at in the cartoons for the kids? Cause that's gross.
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why don't they make that into a movie?
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... and makes Skeletor He-Man's brother, makes Skeletor look like a pile of scrap iron, puts flames on He-Man and has a joke where Battlecat pisses on someone it should be OK.
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When you can model it after a SERIES of movies that are filled with unique and extravagant characters, plus deep and rich storylines that are much like the Masters of the Universe. A Disney film about Pirates.
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In the ghetto, after the nuke went off in year 4579, and have He man be a psych patient. His enemies are also psych patients and they all believe they are on planet Eternia, and they have bloody fights over turf and women. They all want to sleep with the sexiest woman alive, a horrible diseased mutant to our eyes. Skeletor should be a skinny pimp with AIDS and the witch should be a voodoo hooker! He man's battlecat should just be a vision he sometimes catches a glimpse of when turning a corner. A metaphor of his penis if you will. He should also have visions when having sex with Orco, and when he's smoking shrooms together with Man at Arms, a guns dealer who he befriended while in jail! The movie must be a hard R and cater to old fanboys. It has to be real and understand the subtext of what He-man and The Masters of The Universe is all about! Sex, drugs and hip hop! But purists, worry not! The characters should only fight with swords! Hopefully they should all speak in russian and ghetto spanish! I can all ready picture the ending: Skeletor lying on the floor of the disco (The Universe Disco) bathroom holding his severed penis, while He-man returns to the dancefloor, victorious, now disguised in full crossdressing gear, as Princess Eve! a fucking classic in the making i tell you!
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Turn that "Can you hear me now?" fella in those Verizon ads into a film character. Can you imagine the adventures of Verizon Man as he travels the country, a la the Hulk TV series or the Fugitive...but, for heaven's sake, please respect the source material.
I think there's enough material there for a trilogy. Film One: Origin Story. Film Two: Verizon Man battles that Cingular orange guy. Film Three: Verizon Man gets brain cancer and dies, and at film's end, comes back as a ghost...setting up the next trilogy: The Adventures of Ghost Phone Guy...can you see me now?
Somebody, get me Peter Jackson! Only he has the genius to realize this vision with the proper respect. -
Cate Blanchett. Seriously, have you seen that woman lately?
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80s cartoon movie binge?
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Should be either anime (already done) or pure CGI. Although a live action/CG Dhalsim would be cool...but there ain't NO ONE big enough to play T. Hawk and Sagat properly. And brother, if they make the hadouken fireball look like a wet spark again, there is gonna be some real bruisin'.
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first it was late 60's and 70's TV shows getting made into movies, now we see 80's cartoons and toys getting their shot at the big-screen. God help us when Hollywood begins catering to the aging nostalgia-seeking children of the 90's. This is an ever-downward spiraling situation and yet further evidence that our doom is indeed nigh.
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There is NOT potential for a great He-Man flick. I'm sorry.
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it's the news that He-Man is now on the retreadmill. I'm waiting for "Alf: The Motion Picture." HA!
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May 24, 2007 10:51:53 PM CDT
It can only work as a comedy that mocks the material!
by bob cryptonight
The whole HE-MAN concept is devoid of anything creative...except as a means to sell toys. THAT'S the angle they should take!
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Or Harry Potter for that matter. They're the same types of stories, they never get old, been around since the beginning. It needs to be all ages, forget Conaning it up. All ages does not mean childish (see Bay's "updated" Transformers for an example of how to do it wrong). The only difference is you don't have the same budget limitations and 30 minutes in which to tell a story. Really, this shouldn't be that hard to make. Castle Greyskull, relucant boy hero, skull faced hack tyrant, Snake Mountain, fight for control of planet. Order vs. chaos. Giant cats that talk and mutant warlords.
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maybe something along these lines? http://tinyurl.com/33rezy
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Dolph as He-Man, despite the accent, was actually pretty good. Visual-wise. So was Man-At-Arms, Teela, Evil Lynn, Skeletor and Beast-Man to a certain extent. The characters were visually pretty damn good, and even the acting was pretty close to the source material...
BUT, the whole Earth setting, Gwildor, plot, musical key to the universe, etc. was just plain miserable!!!!
If you took the things they got right mentioned above, actors and all (Skeletor would need some retooling... Beast-Man too), and placed them in a plot driven flick true to the source material (Eternia, Orka, Castle Greyskull, etc.) then it would have worked. But the movie as a whole was just PUKESHITFUCKSUCKY, for lack of a better word. It's doable... NEEDED? Probably not. But doable. -
Are we gonna get a Thunder Cats flick next????
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You all have been watching that I Love the 80s episode rerun way too much.
He-Man's implied love interest was Tee-La. That's why they made She-Ra his sister...they didn't want to conflict with that. And did any of you actually think "gay" when you were watching it as kids? NO. This big guy kicking the snot out of Skeletor's monsters...it was great.
And John Woo is great. I hope he directs. All complaints towards him are unwarranted. He did not write MI2. -
and become She-man and Him-Ra.
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Everyone check out his post above and the url: http://tinyurl.com/33rezy
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... to get the fan boys' money.
Was He-Man that big?
I remember watching it as a kid and thinking to myself, "This ain't shakespeare." But I did enjoy it. -
...there are only about 100 better fantasy properties that you've never touched. I liked He-Man as a kid, but what about giving a first shot to Dragonlance before we resort to this lunacy?
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than watch fucking cartoons and read comics!? he-man is the stupiest idea for a movie, the male lead is a fucking barbarian wannabe... this is the 21st century that shit was cool when we were kids hence to update to transformers to make it slightly more appealing to kids these days not people like you who somehow cling to these fucking childhood memories.. and who the fuck is gonna admit to being a big he-man fan these days? it was fun when you were kid, were meant to be adults now
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I am surprised and kinda shocked that so many people here are negative about a MASTERS movie !!!! That's what I wanted for years. This franchise need a great movie. I don't like "300" that much but the look of the film is the best for a He-Man film !!!!!!!!!!
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He-Man wakes up, realizes the whole thing was a dream, turns off his TV and suddenly - in a burst of metareference - Skeletor disappears.
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He could be quite a creepy little thing; a sort of mini-Nazgul with unearthly magical powers and the humor could be sort of sublimated and inhuman; like Data or Spock in Star Trek. But Skeletor HAS to be a bit petulant and frustrated, like Alan Rickman as the Sheriff of Nottingham; that's the character.
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a homophobe, a moralist or a heteronormative. I have no prejudice against our fellow human beings in the GLBT community. I bear no ill will towards anyone who is homosexual or who has dabbled or has considered dabbling in that 'lifestyle'. I won't go so far as to trot out that old knee jerk liberal catch phrase "some of my best friends are..." because frankly I don't really have that many real life friends. And my own sexual persuasion and perversities are not relevant to this discussion (though I do moderate a bdsm group). That clearly established, I wish to most strongly stress that I do not mean it as a slur against the gay community, and I do not use the term as an insult, when I say that the "He-Man and the Master's Of The Universe" property is 'totally gay'. It has a clear, unmistakable and unignorable homosexual mood, feel, context, subtext and agenda. It is, in fact, as gay as a festive spring bonnet. It is a clear and indisputable fact and the truth is not an insult, it is simply the truth. The truth is "out". There.
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yo, he-man's not gay. the dude got stuck with a bad color scheme in his civilian gear, but if you check your memory a lil and think deep, TEELA was his love interest, y'know, a CHICK. that's on top of the milf factor of the sorceress and the bad girl evil-lyn. I would call the batman of my youth running around with a "boy wonder" in speedos or the all-male commune lifestyle of the transformers far more gay.
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Merman
Ram-man
Meckaneck
Fisto (If only for the name, and played by Ron Jeremy)
Webstor (Played by the dude who played Webster in the 80s sitcom)
Stinkor
If all these characters are not in the movie, then the whole thing will be akin to nipples on Optimus Prime.
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There was a female autobot. She was always after Optimus...
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Whachoo talkin 'bout, Skeletor?
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C'mon. Skeletor was as camp as a row of tents; Evil-Lyn was a drag-queen. Adam was a pansy in a pink shirt with a pussy-ass sidekick. He-Man was his muscle-daddy alter-ego. Man at Arms looked like Armistead Maupin. There was NO sexual chemistry (yes, there was in some cartoons) between Tee-La and He-Man; it was a real brother/sister kind of thing. As for Skeletor's goons; Beast-Man, Mer-man, Trap-Jaw...what a bunch of fags. It was Barbie for boys, right down to the idealised body-image. I used to make my he-Man figures hump and NOBODY ever bought Tee-la.
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unleash cosmpic power.
"This... is... ETERNIAAAAAAAA" -
and touched her with my penis. Ah, halcyon days of youth.
But yes, He-Man was magnificently gay. "camp" doesn't even begin to describe it. -
anyway WHERE'S THE GORMENGHAST TRILOGY MOVIE
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Where there really characters called Ram-Man and Fisto? I don't remember that at all. Are you sure this isn't some urban myth like Seaman Staines out of Captain Pugwash? Clearly, Napoleon Park is right. He-Man is gay.Maybe that's an approach they can take with a new film. Totally queer it up. I'm sure gay guys would like to see a big screen action hero they can relate to as well as gawp at. I don't know that there's ever been a gay-friendly action film before, unless you count those Schumacher Batmans.Batmen? Batmans doesn't sound right.
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May 25, 2007 10:48:15 AM CDT
The best He-Man bit in a movie won't be in this one...
by reynard muldrake
...because it was already in Hot Fuzz.
Conan the Barbarian was the prequel to He-Man too, so there already was a movie - he just didn't have the power of Grayskull yet. Anyway, I have as much nostalgia for my childhood as anyone (and can't wait for Transformers, etc), but it is getting a bit out of hand...can anyone create a NEW movie and a NEW idea - rather than adapting every superhero ever (again, not complaing about Batman, et al) all the time - someone make up something awesome and write it up and it will be its own cultural phenomenom a la Star Wars or Indiana Jones - which were genius for their freshness even while 'borrowing' from old genres. I know that will take studios actually taking risks... -
Brad Pitt should play him. He bulked up for Troy and would pull it off.
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i've been saying they should make one for years. only if it was done right, and by that, i mean a hard pg-13 or r rating. don't market it to kids, all of thundercats' old following is in their 20s now anyway. but thats just me.
o yea, and david spade should bulk up and get that haircut back from benchwarmers to play he-man -
And the stupid BBC ruined the Gormenghast trilogy with that rotten TV adaptation that was geared towards kids. You ever see the recent Bleak House? That's what Gormenghast shoudl be like. Like London, after the Blitz.
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...and was seen by us 5 year olds after school. No one thought there was any implied "gayness".....unless there were a bunch of 25 year olds in 1985 watching He-Man every day at 4:30, but they have other issues...
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and didn't like Transformers when they were 7. Make of that what you will.
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but the 2 I know were into transformers as children and still are, while having no love for the he-man. make of that what you will.
And my bad wolfman, I didn't know about the fem-bot. I have since been corrected.
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