Hey everyone. Capone in Chicago here.

I will begin my brief review of the third Shrek installment by throwing some statistics at you and dropping a few famous names. It took four people to write Shrek the Third (not including the guy credited with the "story" and someone else credited with "additional screenplay material.") It took two people to direct the movies. Those are my stats. Here comes the name dropping. Those who return: Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas, Julie Andrews, John Cleese, Rupert Everett, and Larry King as Doris. Those who are new: Eric Idle, Justin Timberlake, John Krasinski, Ian McShane, Cheri Oteri, Regis Philbin, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Amy Sedaris, and Seth Rogen (!). In case you didn't notice, there are quite a few very funny and talented people on this list. And each and every one of them spent a great deal of time and received a great deal of money to bore the fuck out of me for 80-plus minutes.

Shrek the Third is not a complete and utter disaster; on occasion, it has its moments. Banderas' take on Puss in Boots is still the funniest thing in any of the these films. And when Puss and Donkey (Murphy) switch bodies for a time, Banderas even makes Donkey funny for once. There's a sequence in which the gingerbread man's life flashes before his eyes, and it's hysterical. And Eric Idle's spastic take on Merlin the magician is so odd that you won't be able to laugh. But much like Spider-Man 3, Shrek the Third suffers from overcrowding. Thankfully, there is only one running storyline here (unlike S-M 3), but it feels like the writers were forced to bring back every face and voice that has ever appeared in the previous films, and then add 97 more characters to keep things fresh. Instead, the result is cinematic claustrophobia.

I like the idea of bringing in some of the characters from the King Arthur legend into the Shrek world, but Justin Timberlake (who I've liked a great deal as an actor in the last six months) is utterly wasted as the young, unpolished "Artie," and he offers no real comic flare to the film. The same can be said for just about every new character added to this new series (with the exception of Idle). Granted, it's kind of amusing to see Princess Fiona having a baby shower attended by the likes of Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Cinderella, and Rapunzel. There's a cattiness to the event that made it feel more like a sorority bitch-fest than a party comprised of fairy tale leading ladies.

Still, the worst crime committed by the makers of Shrek the Third is that it doesn't feel like they care about these characters anymore. There's a laziness about the plot and the performances that is undeniable. Even the pop culture references and song cues seem tired, obvious, and played out. If this series were a TV show and featured a pregnant Fiona storyline and a doubling of the cast size, it would be accused of jumping the shark, and that's precisely what watching this film feels like. I'm not even saying that the Shrek series is beyond saving. I'm still moderately interested the Shrek Christmas television special planned for this December and Shrek the Fourth (or whatever it will be called) in 2010, but these projects have got to have better scripts that breathe a little life and depth into these characters. This one feels like a place holder.

Capone
capone@aintitcool.com