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Massawyrm Is So Bored By SHREK THE THIRD That He Can't Even Make A Dick Joke About It!!
Hola all. Massawyrm here.
There’s nothing worse than a sequel that was clearly made just for the money. Not because there was more story to tell or because people where demanding it. But because the studio knew that anything with the original film’s title would have an opening weekend so large that the word gargantuan would have to be pulled out, dusted off and used to describe it. And when the net is cast out and writers from all across the land are summoned, not a one is able to find a real story to tell with these characters who have, over the course of one, maybe two films, fully realized their arc. Yet the studio presses forward anyway. And you end up with a film like Lethal Weapon 3.
Yes, Lethal Weapon 3. Remember how awesome Lethal Weapon was? Which was then followed up by the coolness of Lethal “Diplomatic Immunity” Weapon 2? God, man. They fuck you at the drive through! They fuck you at the drive through! Good times, man. Good times. But remember how unbelievably lame it was when the third film got going and from out of nowhere Joe Pesci shows up? And you were like Dude, what the fuck are you doing here? You were cool in the last movie and all, but come on. This is part 3. It’s time to move on. But they didn’t. It was like a one night stand who refused to leave and kept asking you to take her home to meet your parents. It was everything you loved about the first two, without any of the magic that made you love them. And it sucked.
Well, friends. Let me introduce you to a little slice of lameness called Shrek the Third. There’s not really a whole lot to say about it. Except that it reminded me a hell of a lot of Lethal Weapon 3. It’s certainly not terrible. Nothing goes awry, nothing violates any of the rules and there isn’t a single piece of this which will make you hate yourself for watching it. But it isn’t anywhere remotely close to anything I could call good. As they say in Hollywood. It is what it is. And what it is happens to be the milking of a dry tit. There’s nothing left. Shrek is over. Every joke to be made has been made, every bit of fun to be had in Far, Far Away has been had. It’s like the last hour of the party after all the interesting people have gone home.
This is the film you throw into the DVD player to amuse the kids while you do something far more interesting. Like your taxes. Or the ironing. And honestly, had this gone direct to video with the intention of being for kids, I’d have no real issue with it. I’d watch it and remark Huh, that was kind of cute. I can see why they didn’t release it in theatres though. Except that they did. And this movie is so not playing on that level.
There are no jokes here. It’s not funny. It tries to be cute every now and again, and the occasional gag shows up, but there’s never a punchline, never anything to chuckle at. And all the while the film struggles to give something to do to every character who has ever shown up in the series – and in true Lethal Weapon fashion, also introduces us to brand new ones. Trouble is, there’s nothing for ANYONE to do. Donkey and Puss are back, but they’re so superfluous that you almost forget that they’re there. Hell, there’s so little going on that they have to steal one of the oldest gags in the book to try to keep them involved in the story. And even then you couldn’t muster enough to give a shit.
And to make matters worse, what plot devices they do work in never amount to much. There’s a big twist betrayal that they kind of forget to wrap up – or hell, bother to really explain – and then they pretty much steal the ending whole hog from The Pirate Movie without being so cool as to have a song like “Give Me a Happy Ending, Every Time.” It’s a cinematic shrug and a sheepish grin saying “Well, you came and watched it, didn’t you?”
And for fucks sake, this movie has some of my very favorite people in the world in it. If you were to tell me that there was an animated film with John Cleese, Eric Idle, Mike Myers, Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Seth Rogan and Eddie Murphy, I’d say fuck yeah. Sign me up. But I wouldn’t for a moment believe that it was THIS movie. It’s like DreamWorks set out to personally introduce comic geniuses to the concept of mediocrity. Well, they can consider their work here done.
If your kids dig Shrek and are jonesing for it, they’ll probably have a good time with it. But you won’t. Fortunately, we’ll all have forgotten that we’ve seen it by Tuesday.
Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.
Massawyrm
Got something for the Wyrm? Mail it here.
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Finally!
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Second. Check out yakoo for the new TF's trailer. It rocks.
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trailer trailer......
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Shrek, the Turd.
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first, Spiderman 3, now Shek 3. Hope Pirates 3, Oceans 3 (okay 13), Bourne 3, and Potter 3 (okay 5) hold up.
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now that was a grab for money. weapon 2 i forgive because renee russo was super cute.
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I damn near killed 'em.
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aint it cool late again? shame
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...looks kinda...ahem...good!!!
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the first one was ok and kinda original but this one just looks awful,I never saw the 2nd one which looked equally awful but I heard it was ok.Just remember in 2010 here comes Shrek 4.Oh boy.
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The only third movie installments I can recall really enjoying, and standing the test of time are Goldfinger and Rocky III. Jedi and Sith are just okay. Spidey 3 is just okay (in my book, most seem to deplore it). I can't think of any other good ones right now. Hey ludimir, that's the same TSFMRs trailer they've been playing with all kinds of movies over the last four months or so. Unless I was lookin' in the wrong place.
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.....I am so dreading this. My Kids have done nothing but talk about this turd since seeing the trailer. My weekend will be spent seeing this P.O.S. and trying not to fall asleep.
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Not really. I completley agree with Wyrm except for one point: it does break the rules; it goes soft. The first Shrek was praised for being subversive, yet this turkey plucks every single twangy heart string in the song book. There's not just a teen sidekick, but babies, tons of babies. And not just Ogre babies, but freaky Donkey/dragon sprites. All the old jokes get dragged out through the mud once again. Not just weak but aggresivley awful.
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trans-f...-formers trailer is live!!! and it looks like starscream is going to be totally badass.
still, the japaneserobotoneliner didnt do much for me -
Me, I find the idea of Batmanuel in a Batman movie absolutely hysterical, but then again, I'm easily entertained...
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there'll be a Shrek IV? I mean, it's not like Mike Meyers has been doing anything else lately.
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WHY YAHOO HD VIDEOS DOESN'T WORK WITH ME I WANT TO SEE TRANSFORMERS SECOND KICKASS TRAILER ON HD NOW!!!! BUT THE STANDARD ITS OK. AND I SAID KICK ASS???
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I hate to say it but it did. My son wants to see it. Being 7 he doesn't have the G1 experience and in fact doesn't really hold much regard for what I've shown to him. Kids will eat this up, guaranteed.
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Transformers looks great.
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May 17, 2007 12:45:47 PM CDT
All of the Shrek films were made just for the money.
by mysteryperfecta
Do you think the first film had a story that needed to be told? This isn't about returning to a dry well; an engaging story well-executed could have conceivingly been built around the established characters. Toy Story 3 will be made just for the money, but if the people at Pixar do what they do, it will be worthwhile.
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It sucks that my son wants to see this POS. I hated Shrek 2 and really didn't see why people praised it like they did. Now comes Shrek the Turd.
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is probably the red book example of a shitty third installment for a movie franchise. Anybody think of another?
As for Lethal Weapon 3, the inclusion of the drool-inducing Renee Russo made up for some of Pesci's silliness. She had like, breastseses and karate kicks, and was rilly rilly pretty. -
went batshit crazy for the final. let those robots totally destroy the city!!! not just a block, the whole damn thing.
but its bay, he leveled some cities nice once before!
and by the way....lips on optimus -
Revenge of the Sith is easily the best of the prequel trilogy (and the third best Star Wars film overall in my book). Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban is still hands down the best Harry Potter film. Trois Couleurs: Rouge was the best of Kieslowski's trilogy. JJ Abram's Mission Impossible 3 was arguably better than either 1 or 2 and so was Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. Some people think Return of the King is the best Lord of the Rings trilogy - personally I don't agree, but i do think that it's another instance of a film trilogy whose final film doesn't fall down completely (as is, unfortunately, so often the case).
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LATE AGAIN?? you know a talkback of the transformer second trailer. shame
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...he's all of nine years old. And HE gets to grope Megan Fox and I don't?
Pixar kicks ass. Notwithstanding A Bug's Life, all their pictures have been brilliant, with the two Toy Stories, Nemo and Incredibles being my faves (and my kidseses'). Toy Story was just f*cking brilliant. When's the third one of that gonna drop, for chrissake? Is Andy gonna take Woody to college or not? -
The Transformers Trailer looked cool as shit. This thing is so going to own the asses of everything this summer.....oh and don't look now but another AICN thread just got hijacked!
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Sometimes I wonder how we as a species have survived as long as we have when I hear shit like this.
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I get chills just watching them transform. Come on people Michael Bay, Flames, or not you're going to see that.
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coooool!!!!!!!! but it's just a trailer. oh yeah bonecrusher looks awesome!!!!!
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Damn that movie must have been the turd of turds.
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is going to direct shrek 4
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cause that was god awfull
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These Shrek movies suck balls. I've been dreading this one the entire year because my kid is making me take him to see it. I've even tried to play the "it's supposed to be awful" card and it ain't working. I've gotta go. No IFS, ANDS, or BUTS about it. I'd rather be stuck going to the bridal shower my wife gets to go to. That's how bad I DO NOT want to see this garbage.
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milking a dry tit?
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I think Last Crusade tops Temple of Doom, but still pales to Raiders. So it was a step back in the right direction at least, and a fitting trilogy capper. I haven't seen any Potter movies OR Fast n Furious (don't laugh). I enjoyed the LoTR films, but they were so long and meandering that I can't distinguish one from the next enough to say which was best. It takes a real man of a geek to sit down and say, "I'm bored--I think I'll watch a LoTR movie." Those take a lot of committment.
Oh, I should say that Matrix Revolutions was a disappointing third outing, much the way Spidey 3 appears to be. High expectations, low satisfaction. The Enforcer was a strong third time around for Dirty Harry, but the original and second (Magnum Force) are the best. I think we all know how we feel about Supes III and Batman Forever. I think I would agree that Sith could be the best of the SW prequels, although I liked Neeson's Qui Gonn a lot and missed him. Nah, you know what, I can't say it's the best. They're all kinda the same to me in retrospect. Sith was just SO focused on Anakin and his change, which was necessary, but I couldn't take that actor, Hadyn Christensen. -
I've always found them very very lame.
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...there is news about the Transformers Trailer at AICN? Or the fact they have cast two more for Nolan's Dark Knight? Guess there is just too much fallout from a certian ABC TV series still falling to be concerned with cool news.
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I POSTED IT FIRST!!! Where's my bah-bah?
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May 17, 2007 1:01:05 PM CDT
And that new Transformers trailer just gave me wood.
by allpowerfulwizardofoz
Fuck you to anyone who says that new trailer looked like shit. You have to be a real moron to not have enjoyed that. Christ this movie looks like it will be the best action movie ever to hit the screen. I don't think I have been this stoked for a film since Star Wars Episode 1 came out, and yes I know I know.... it did not live up to the hype. But see with Transformers I am not looking for a deep plot, I am looking for ass kicking live action robots and that's exactly what it looks like Bay is going to deliver.
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Or atleast i remember i did. It was one of the 1st movies i ever saw in the cinema so maybe that had something to do with liking it...
nah balls to that notion, I liked it! It had my favourite pc game at the time "3 stooges" and I remember wanting to try dog biscuits by the end of it...
sherk 3/sequels was/are always gonna suck, they should have stop after the first one...but that's like flush 1 billions dollars down the toilet so ya can't blame them -
There were three of them and they were great...
Well.....Curly Died and then Shemp came back and it was still ok.....come to think of it...Shemp died and then the 3rd Curly sucked. Damn you number 3!!!! -
transformers trailer looked awful........I am officially completely turned off Transformers.
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Aw, just take your kid and enjoy the time together. That's what I'm having to do. Complain to yourself silently about the money you spent on it and concessions later. I'll do that, too. It is our constant fatherly teaching that will educate our children about the true merits of cinema, and of giant fighting robots. Your brother in parental pain, Abom.
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Harry doesn't want a 2000+ long talkback. Yes, the movie will have killer action. Giant transforming robots doing shit that would be unimagineable without CG. Awesome, I tell ya'.
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aint cool (old) news? come on!!!
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I think Crusade is the weakest of the Raider trilogy myself - too many of the faults of Jedi (a 2nd death star, a 2nd mythical quest involving nazis in the desert, etc). Matrix Revolutions is another example of the 3rd movie being the weakest in the trilogy (I actually thought the 2nd matrix film was actually pretty interesting, but Revolutions was just shit). It's a shame about Shrek 3, though. I thought Shrek 2 was actually funnier than Shrek 1.
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Props man.
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They should make a movie about the real Shrek from the book since it's so much better than the movies. Only problem is it would be about 5 minutes long. I haven't seen any of them since the first one and it just made me sick how they butchered his character. Shrek should never be nice.
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May 17, 2007 1:07:15 PM CDT
The TF trailer looks like SHITE! DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY!
by simplesandwiches
Not really...it looks awesome. Just getting ya'll prepared for the whiners.... We need to get some whiners near tents with some dyn-o-mite, who's with me?
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there needs to be a place where all these fanboys can go say what they need to say at will on this site...oh hang on, its called "THE ZONE" geeez...but that said, you have to log in to access the zone, balls to that! :-p
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I could not agree with you more. It's going to be beyond awesome. Seems the cry of those who want to complain is being silenced with every new trailer and tidbit. Tonight will be the real test with the 1st screening for the public. Cannot WAIT to read the TB on that experience and soooo jealous I cannot be there.
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sucked ass. I don't care what the Wachowskis (SP?) said, they never planned on the complete explosion The Matrix had. They never planned it as a trilogy so when Hollywood came calling throwing money and naked nubile virgins at them wanting a sequel, they went into the basement and threw that shit together on the fly.
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"Wah - Optimus has flames!" "Wah - I don't like Shia!" All I can say is GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS - FUCK YEAH!
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I don't see any official second full-length trailer. Can someone link it?
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..and tied to Mike Meyers is Goldmember. It had some solid laughs..I liked the subtitle bit, the shadow scene (tho cribbed from the second), molee, molee , MOOLLLEEE, and Michael Caine looking dapper..but just felt like one time to the well too many. Of course, there's talk of a fourth.
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http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/transformers.html;_ylt=AlGxJWSrvfhUJ6qqfi4KiuhfVXcA
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Saw Shrek 3 last week. I was not a big fan of either of the first two, but The Third is virtually unwatchable.
Lethal Weapon, while the weakest of the 4, is still pretty damn entertaining. -
She didn't show up till 3. I love Pesci's story about his pet frog in # 4, too.
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fuck shrek ..the Transformers trailer kicks ass, you almost have to put it in slow motion to get all thats going on there. I have to say that shia is one of the better young actors around.. the dude has acting and comedic chops-hes never annoying or lame to me like alot of other young actors... and is funny in the Bobby movie,among others.
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Don't see this film. Send your money to Spidey 3.
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Not ROGAN. Normally I wouldn't harp on a spelling error but a) I've seen Seth Rogen's name misspelled too many times on this site and b) Rogen flew out to Austin for the Butt-Numb-A-Thon screeing of KNOCKED UP, so he deserves the respect.
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There was nothing good about that movie. I still love the first one. And the 2nd one was okay because it had Sarah Michelle Gellar back in her hot as shit days.
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for movies! Fucking Spider-Man 3, Shrek 3, Pirates 3, Bourne 3, Die Hard 4....and theyre all dropping like fucking flies one by one! SM3=misfire, DH4 = PG-13....man this is so lame. If bourne gets bad reviews...I dunno what I'll do, probably nothing, but still...Artistically speaking the 2000's have been fucking void.
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It cuts to the chase and tells it like it is. I mean, who thought that this was going to be anything more than a cash in. Hell, the first one sucked balls.
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Just a thought...
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He calls it like it is. He wouldn't pull a Harry and make lame excuses for Spiderman 3 just because he's got the studio's cock in his mouth. Massa would take the cock, but he wouldn't be afraid to bite it off if he had to. I respect that. Shrek like all the big movies this year is going to suck. After Spiderman gave me a bleeding ulcer and 28 weeks later pissed me off with its stupidity, I've given up on the big movies. They are dead to me. Shrek, Pirates and especially TINO are going to suck donkey balls. I'll wait for Knocked Up and Superbad thank you. Damn you Michael Bay, damn you.
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"It’s like the last hour of the party after all the interesting people have gone home." So, you're saying that if I'll only enjoy it if I go the extra distance and get really over-the-line, falling-down drunk? Well, OK then.
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1. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. 2. The aforementioned Trois Couleurs windup. 3. Return of the King. 4. Revenge of the Sith (just a notch below ESB, and superior to ANH).
I know for certain there won't be a fifth until Nolan completes his Batman trilogy. -
Good lord people, the name of the film is SHREK. It's not SHERK.
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who cares if Joe Pesci was in it again...Riggs was still a badass, plus you had the hotness of Rene Russo!!
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And one of the greatest endings of a film series I know. It just rounds it up perfectly. No! We're family!
3 is also just fun, but not as good as 1 2 and 4. -
right
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The film was good, not AS good as the others, but still damn fine.
Particularly when Murtaugh went all bad-ass revenge 'cause he killed a kid. Good stuff. -
The first Shrek film had all of these great little jabs at the bloated Disney empire. It was a fun little movie, nothing that really changed the world, but it was entertaining at least.
The second film felt watered down, almost as if you could tell they wanted to stretch this thing out as far as they could and make as many films with the same material as possible.
Now the Shrek franchise has become exactly like the Disney Company that it first set out to mock, and in record time. Now Shrek is everywhere you look with the half dozen assembly line sequels, the spin-off projects, the TV specials, the amusement park rides, the video games. Then you figure in all the other half-ass CGI films that have been released by studios like Dreamworks in the last few years, all trying to capitalize on the market opened up by the success of the first Shrek. One could argue that the Shrek franchise and all of its lame imitators has even become worse than Disney, here in the post-Eisner era. -
Or a PIECE OF SHIT LIKE SPIDER-MAN 3!. Pirates 3 will own.
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Sorry Aintitcool and fans, but I call copycat on Capone's review. First of all, there's absolutely NOTHING remotely detailed about the movie. This is Aintitcool...we're used to hyperbole.
Second, I call copycat because as I was reading this work, I noticed several, several similarities to another published review...on CNN of all places. Don't believe me? I'll provide the link:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBI Z/Movies/05/17/review.shrek/in dex.html
...several ideas, including Gingy's "life flashing before eyes", Fiona's "baby shower" and "Idle's Merlin" are all sacrosanct from the CNN piece. Read both and TELL ME this isn't at least suspicious?
It's one thing to hate a film on factoids, but that shouldn't have anything to do with blatant intellectual THEFT. Harry, pull that review, otherwise the hammer will come down on you. Please everyone, read both reviews...
Thanks. -
for the rest of eternity. I thoroughly enjoyed the first one. It took a second viewing but there really is a lot there and it's pretty damn clever when it wants to be. The second one looked like it was going to be a send up of Hollywood's obsession with beauty and then forgot about that theme the moment it brought it up. From there on it was pretty much a rehash of the first.
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Glad you guys are finally starting to come to your senses. Shrek was never supposed to become famous. It was supposed to be one of those forgettable CGI movies. But for some strange reason it became a hit. Some Americans will eat anything.
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Hmmm...I make it to about one movie a summer and this sounds like it ain't going to be it. I'm thinking Pirates is the the way to go.
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but part 4 was horrendous! Worst part three has to be Superman 3 though. Austin Powers 3 was really ass too. Nobody in the theater laughed at that shit.
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I can think of some 3's that are better or as good as their preceeders; MI:3, Goldfinger but only about 5 million more that DOA. The odds aren't good, folks.
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Oh, yes... yes I do. And then came Die Hard. Good times, man, good times.
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Part 3 just didn't come together well. Lethal Weapon are movies about cops solving crimes. The characters deal with different personal problems in each installment but these movies don't begin and end with a character's arc, they begin with a crime and end with the case being closed.
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I bet you wrote that before you saw the actual film, as there isn't anything resembling detail to be found in your review. Or reasoning. Argumentation. I know it's just a kids movie, but come one -- there's no evidence here that you even saw the fucking movie.
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Your avatar is funnier than the whole movie, Wyrm.
However, I have something to confess. I kinda want a third kid, maybe a daughter and Shrek 3 got me sentimental with the baby talk. A bad movie sucking up to my vulnerability. I ended up actually liking it. -
The Chinese immigrant plot was all over the place, Danny/Mel/Pesci were rambling like loons, The Chris Rock character secretly married to Glover's daughter? Part 4 blows. Part 3 was weak but at least it was a lil' more organized.
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You'll find most of my reviews read that way. I try to remain pretty much spoiler free, writing more about the experience and thematics so you can enjoy the review and learn about the film without having to have the experience of the film ruined. But now that you've read it, watch the movie and come back and reread it. It'll be pretty clear that I saw the film. My editor saw me at the movie - I don't think I really need to prove I was there. =P
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I really dug it. Now Lethal Weapon 4 was a total mess.
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I'm glad Massawyrm replied in regard to how he wrote his review. I have a buddy who loves comics, I get all of my info from him cause I never got onto comics when I was a kid. Plus, he's a movie lover. But he refuses to come to websites like this because he wants to be surprised by the big screen adaptations. I used to assure him that the reviews and talkbacks were mindful of that, but lately, it seems like no one can write a 'review'. A simple set-up of the characters and the basic premises, while keeping all of the critiques of the film very general (ie. the last act falls apart due to autodrive and the cliched 'villian describes to the tied-up hero the whole plan' gag, etc..). Instead we get talkbackers and reviewers who ACTUALLY DESCRIBE THE MAJOR FUCKING DETAILS OF THE SCENES!..Like Homer walking past the line of moviegoers shouting out Luke's father was Darth Vader, wow......Point is, Massawyrm can give you pros and cons of films/TV shows without having to post a spoiler alert (why is it that reviewers/talkbackers are just giving plot details without caring to post spoilers lately? And when you check em', their defense is "Well you ARE in a talkback, what did you expect?). Anyway, good review,Wyrm...sorry about this long-ass post, but it's 2am and there's nothing on TV...shit...
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Fuck you, Leathal Weapon 3 was awesome. The evolution of the "fuck you" speech was awesome.
"Well, you know what I say. They fuck you at the hospital, okay? They fuck you at the hospital! First they drug you, then they fuck you and when they're done fucking you along comes the insurance company and fucks you some more! Ten Dollars for a fucking Aspirin!"
And then to the evolution in LW4:
"They fuck you with cell phones! That's what it is! They're fucking you with the cell phone. They love it when you get cut off. You know why, huh? You know why? 'Cause when you call back - which they know you're gonna do - they charge you for that fucking first minute again at that high rate!"
:P -
The WORST of all the CGI fairytale movies. Even "Ella Enchanted" was funnier than that.
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My brain needs a little more coffee this morning.
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I mean really. It wasn't part of a continuing story and like the Lethal Weapon movies, after two, they do get tired. Outside of LOTR (already written), I see very few movies that can pull it off (I'm looking at you, Spidey!) Back to point: Don't be surprised. Now on to some friggen Pirates!
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I think a better example of milking something that was a completed story might be:Die Hard 2orDie Hard 3: The Die Hard That Wanted to be Lethal Weaponand I'm going out on a limb here and sayingDie Hard 4: If Every Other 80s Action Franchise is Getting Ressurrected So Can We!Die Hard is the most obvious example of a great film that was never meant to be a franchise and the sequels happened because of all the reasons Massa listed (people will see anything with that title etc.)
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May 18, 2007 8:20:42 AM CDT
No one needs to introduce Eddie Murphy to mediocrity
by reynard muldrake
His comic genius found it on his own loooooong ago.
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My girl wants to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time.
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saw the sneak preview last night...i mean, it's an animated children's flick so i was fairly entertained, but i remember sitting in the theater for the second and nearly choking to death on laughter. what happened? with the exception of maybe the afore mentioned gingerbread man flashback scene, all the film makers got out of me was a couple of chuckles
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They made ONE sincere animated film (Prince of Egypt is almost 10 years old)and everything else has been the same smug,sarcastic, "we're the hip studio" pile of crap. Stop winking at the audience long enough to tell an actual story. From what I've seen so far, Bee Movie looks like more of the same.
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I'm guessing you haven't seen Dreamworks FAN-FREAKING-Tastic Over the Hedge? Because that's everything you're asking for here. Adorable, funnym great story and an intriguing message. Check that out.
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I put Over the Hedge in the same camp with the other celebrity joke fests they pass off as animated films.
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I definitely don't want to see this movie though. I didn't like Shrek 2 that much, either.
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Lushly animated (in 2-D!), well-voiced (fine work by Kevin Kline and Kenneth Branagh) and damned hilarious. It outstrips the SHREK series, even (dare I say it) the first one. And lest we forget Dreamworks' collaborations with Aardman.
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Wonderful animation, good voicework, and the SMOKING HOT CHEL.
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This movie is totally uninspired. Nothing new is added to Shrek's world at all. It's all about the Kingdom of Far Far Away again--frankly I missed Dulock--mixed with the plot of the first one only substituting Justin Timberlake's Prince Artie for Fiona (minus the love story or the comedic chemistry or the magic curse twist), and a tired "oh, time for a baby" sub-plot. The jokes are mild to nonexistant--just about all the laughs to be had are in the trailer, and those weren't huge ones either. I also got that direct-to-video vibe--Massawyrm, you hit the nail on the head. What idiots though it was a good idea to use the supporting villain of the last movie as the main villain of this one? It's not like they were setting us up for anything in Shrek 2 with Prince Charming, so Shrek 3 plays out like the revenge of Cinderella's Stepmother in Cinderella 3, as if Prince Charming was such a classic villain we had to bring him back. I'd rather have seen his mum or Lord Farquaad over him. Although oddly, death seems to be very final in Shrek's world because they kill off John Cleese as the king, and both the previous villains seem to be very dead and gone. No ghosts or anything--which is very odd since they aren't killing off the dead weight. The Prince does seem to follow with almost the same death that Farquaad had--I guess he died, Dragon was involved and everything--but by then I felt kind of sorry for him and wanted him to kick Shrek's ass. I was also very put off by how bland the character designs were for the other villains that the Prince enlists to overthrow the kingdom. Playstation 2 extras is all they were. Meanwhile, Shrek and Fiona barely register anymore. Apparently after marriage the only interesting things left to do with them were meeting the in-laws and having kids. Glad to know Hollywood knows so much about relationships! Of course Shrek and Fiona have barely any scenes together once Shrek goes off to find Artie. And how do you have a high school in Shrek's world and not get in a ton of Hogwarts jokes? It's not that they didn't have stuff to spoof, they just lacked any inspiration to try.
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