Review

Harry reviews QT's EURO SEX COMEDY tribute to the Original Alamo Drafthouse!

Published at: May 15, 2007, 4:38 a.m. CST by headgeek

Hey folks, Harry here… Tonight something sad began to happen to me. As I watched Tim introduce Quentin to the stage of the Original Alamo Drafthouse – it hit me, I’m only ever going to see this happen, one more time. For many in the room, they’ll see it, twice more. Me, I’m off to Romania on Saturday – and I don’t get to attend the SWINGING NIGHT on Mother’s Day, perchance. When Tim League hit the stage tonight, he felt it to, he said, “This is the first time I’m feeling the end of this space.” – and at that moment – I felt an energy of loss in the room from the audience. You could just sense it. Tim then changed gears towards talking about the fact that these 3 nights with Quentin are not just a tribute to Quentin’s own QT-fests – but also to the spirit of the Weird Wednesday and Terror Thursday programs that have existed for well over a half decade. Tim called those years a Golden Age of Cinema exhibition, one he hopes to continue. Then Mr League stressed the importance of attending the triple feature in its entirety. To really enjoy the experience of these very rare prints with a perfect host and audience. Well… technically – that’s a lie. Tim didn’t say that. Tim said that if you got an emergency message from your mother that she laid upon her deathbed, fuck that, she wouldn’t screw up your evening… but IF that were to happen and you were to have the fucked up priorities to leave, well, you’re a fucking pussy. Then Tim told us what the final night of the Alamo Drafthouse – the original would be. The first event would be a classy multicourse feast to the film, THE BIG NIGHT, this would be followed by a screening of EARTHQUAKE in Sensurround – supported by an additional 50,000 watts of sub woofers – to shake the very pillars of heaven and hell. Then… for the very last film to grace this legendary screen… It will be a film that I first saw at WEIRD WEDNESDAY… a film called NIGHT WARNING. I then programmed it to play BUTT-NUMB-A-THON with Bo Svenson attending that screening. Well – for this very last screening at the original Drafthouse, Tim is bringing in Susan Tyrell – who, in NIGHT WARNING gives the very most fucked up disturbing sphincter revolting cult nightmare performance off all fucking time. She’s ICK like swallowing raw rancid washed up whale blubber on 110 degree beach in August. And if you’ve never seen the film… and you can be there for that last screening. Pony up bitch, the film will fucking own you. With that, Tim brought up Quentin Tarantino – and Quentin said, “NIGHT WARNING as the last film, that’s some perverse shit!” Then he paused, looked out at the audience with a Shiner in one hand and the microphone in the other and in a tone, I’ve never heard from Quentin, he said, “I kinda can’t deal with the fact this place is closing soon. So let’s just forget that shit for now and enjoy the night.” The night’s theme was EURO-SEX COMEDIES. And for the night, Quentin said he’d have better luck mentioning the Euro-hotties not in these films, because the list of those in these films is simply too many to name. He then ran through: Elke Sommers is not onscreen tonight. Senta Berger is not onscreen tonight. Ursula Andress is not onscreen tonight. Around that point my notes left off – and began with the fact we had Raquel Welch, Barbara Bouchet, Jeanne Moreau, Marisa Berenson, Marisa Mell, Britt Ekland, Edwige Fenech, Sydne Rome, Michele Mercier, Elsa Martinelli and that was off the top of his fucking head. Crazy. He then teased us… that if we stayed all the way through the evening, that in the second Sex Comedy Vignette film tonight (meaning film made up of many thematically aligned short films) That contained within THE WORLD’S OLDEST PROFESSION – there would be a future film, showing how prostitution in the future would be like, and it was created by Jean Luc Goddard and called… simply… ANTICIPATION. I know I was teased. Then Quentin began the proper introduction for SEX ON THE RUN aka CASANOVA AND COMPANY (title you can find the DVD under) aka SOME PLAY IT COOL… play on Tony Curtis’ own SOME LIKE IT HOT. Then Quentin did a call out to me, which he wasn’t intending he let us know, but when I wrote up the QT4 Sex Night coverage, where he first played this film for us, I had apparently written something that stuck with Quentin as a funny kinda way of describing and getting people ready to see the film. Quentin said, “Harry noted that this film came during a low ebb in Tony Curtis’ film career, but having said that, we should all be so fucking lucky to have such a low point.” Then he quoted Woody Allen as saying if he could be reborn as anything, it’d be Warren Beatty’s Fingertips. He also noted that SEX ON THE RUN contained his second favorite lesbian scene in film history. His first fave is in AMUCK between Barbara Bouchet and Rosalba Neri. Note for those of you out there that don’t know… These are not hardcore Lesbian scenes with Christmas ornament dildos and butt-to-butt pogo fucks, this is the world of EROTIC film – that teases you and sets up a very good evening between you and your lady. That said, his third fave is in BLOOD SPATTERED BRIDE – which does indeed rock. My groomsman, Johnny Wad gave me an autographed by Barbara Bouchet and Rosalba Neri dvd of AMUCK… thus, the Wad rules… cuz I’ve seen Quentin’s fave Lesbian scene – and I agree that it’s a mighty awesome Lesbian scene. Having said all that – this took us into the first feature of the night. I didn’t take note of the trailers that played this night, sorry, but we went into SEX ON THE RUN. Before attending this evening, I couldn’t remember if I’d seen any of the films tonight, but yes, I’ve seen and reviewed SEX ON THE RUN. That said, this was a different experience, mainly because I was seeing it with Yoko – and this is the exact reason to see sixties and seventies EuroSex comedies. To have a beautiful woman that you’re dedicated to… watch a film like this with… well, she was giggling in that naughty giggle way, that gals do that let’s you know… YUM, you know? These sort of films are quasi-European cousins to the Russ Meyer films in many ways. Tony Curtis isn’t the young vital version of himself, the man that landed Janet Leigh. Rather this is an older man that isn’t as “tight” as he once was, but ya know… there isn’t a single chiseled beach bod in the whole affair. And throughout the night, it tends to be goofy, quirky guys getting in the sack with gorgeous Euro-tarts. And in this film, watching Tony Curtis work… well, you’ve never seen a man so glad to be working. I’d love to bring Tony Curtis to Austin sometime for a series of his films – and on the first night, I’d show this and Spartacus --- and then ask him, which he had more fond or fun memories making. There’s no doubt, he’d be prouder of SPARTACUS, but I doubt there was ever a more fun movie to make, than Tony Curtis in SEX ON THE RUN. The sheer beauty of these hotties… throughout this evening had even my blushing fiancée commenting on how gorgeous they were. And there’s nothing more awesome than the girl you’ll be calling wife soon, telling you how gorgeous someone like Jeannie Bell or Britt Edland is. She definitely gets it! feature #2 Quentin hits the stage with, “Is tony curtis the man or is tony curtis the man? The day my career goes in the toilet, that’s the toilet I want to go in!” Quentin also mentioned that SEX WITH A SMILE was our next film. And one, directed by the hand and eye of Sergio Martino, which many of us know from his thrillers like TORSO, but is possibly more well known for his sex comedies like this. Quentin then mentioned that the theme for this film, made of many smaller films, was REALLY SEXY EUROPEAN ACTRESSES and FUNNY ITALIAN COMEDIANS… like Tomas Milian and Marty Feldman. He told a story about how Barbara Bouchet said that everytime she worked with Sergio Martino he always placed oversized eyeglasses on her, to fulfill a fetish of his. I can see that. She looks damn sexy in them. Then, Edwige Fenech was apparently the Producer’s mistress, but then she has a sex scene with the producer’s brother… and when Quentin and Eli Roth were watching this film, they said to one another, “Now this guy knows how to live, man!” The most important thing about the film according to Quentin was… that it is just fucking funny and the damn girls are hot. And the babes and the laughs never ever let up. And having seen the film now, I have to say… A-MEN! During the first segment, which featured a very bizarre looking Tomas Milian – and Edwige Fenech… after about a minute on screen, Yoko whispers… “She’s gorgeous.” And the comedy was funny and the scenes were hot. The telephone exchange of fantasies, they’re funny fantasies, yet honest enough to be hot… which isn’t hard with Edwige making Jolie look like SNL’s PAT. She’s not only hot, but her pilot light is lit and she’s raging to go. She’s in heat and that’s communicated in a thousand unspoken invisible pheromones that she ignited in both males and females. The second segment… featured Marty Feldman… and it’s fucking genius. There was a very lovely and hot Dayle Haddon in the segment… but Feldman’s BUSTER KEATON-esque bodyguarding, but with that beautifully insane, funny gaze of a crazed determined clown… He can make you laugh, static. Just his walk. His movements, his body language was so precisely hilarious that it was quite stunning. This segment is absolute genius. Absolute Genius. And it literally cockblocked the impact of everything I saw for the rest of the night, save Racquel Welch and Goddard… but more on that later. The segment is simply a BODYGUARD story. But you’ve never seen any bodyguard like this. Fuck Costner, this is who you want. The last film of the evening was THE OLDEST PROFESSION. Quentin hit the stage a final time – and told us this film was about prostitution throughout the ages… with each segment being directed by a different director, but the only ones he could remember off the top of his head was Jean-Luc Godard and Philippe de Broca. The other directors were Claude Autant-Lara, Mauro Bolognini, Franco Indovina and Michael Pfleghar. The film features a caveman era sequence, the period of the French revolution, the 1890s “Gay Nineties,” Modern Paris and the future. Quentin left us with the knowledge that the Godard one is fantastic, but when you watch the film, it’ll take a while to figure out what the fuck is going on… not only that, but that for a while on that segment, you’ll feel you’re watching the worst actor ever, that “this guy sucks” but then you’ll go, “oh, that’s why he sucks, Ok!” He then gave the caveat that you might not like it, not everyone likes Godard. Then Quentin left the stage for the final time this Thursday night. It’s not 6:30am. My brain is getting tired, but I’ll power through this. Why hit this so quick, so intensely? Well… Because someone should. Over my association with Quentin and his screenings, I’ve passed on these titles, his intros – and have in turn allowed many of you to live through my tales of the QT fests. These films… All of them play not as trash cinema. It isn’t the scratches or the color fade, it’s that they are really good films. Not just that, but films that honestly don’t have compare today. Take Raquel Welch’s segment. There’s a playful sexual suggestion between a young beautiful woman and an older rotund banker that’s genuinely hot. No, her tits don’t come out of their corset for us to gander at, but the way she looks at this man, you know HE’S GONNA GET TO PLAY WITH EM! And you can see how DELIGHTED he is by that. Of the 3 films of the night, this was the most chaste, in terms of bodies on display… But the sexual energy of the night was palpable. It was engaging in a titillating manner that films in this day and age just can’t seem to capture. In the modern day, people make sex about intensity, not about the playfulness of sex. Watching this night of sex comedies, there was more realness to the sex, the interaction between couples – than in any of the films we see made today. Sex is fun. Isn’t it? It’s grown up play time. It has it’s intense emotional dramatic genres of sex time, but more often than not in my experience, it’s about the playing of fantasies, laughing, joking, giggling… And none of that is really present in modern film… be it X-rated or PG-13 or anywhere else on the map. The final segment by GODARD was stylistically the most divergent of the night. The filtered reality was striking. The Prostitution of the mind and the body was very sad, yet fun. It is WEIRD, but good weird. It is Artsy Fartsy, but you know how sometimes farts smell good, this is one of them. With that – I show how tired my brain is to hit metaphors. So I leave you. Good Morning, Planet Earth!

Readers Talkback

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  • May 11, 2007, 6:54 a.m. CST

    First Post Ever

    by paragraphs

    Long time lerker...first time poster. FIRST!

  • May 11, 2007, 6:55 a.m. CST

    boring article to be first on though

    by paragraphs

    we get it harry...you love the drafthouse and obscure films.

  • May 11, 2007, 6:55 a.m. CST

    What??? No "Sex With the Stars"?!?!?

    by Doctor_Sin

    Where a bunch of hippie Brit-kids have to research how astrological signs affect sexuality. Prime Stuff. And, what about the Italian film "Sex Machine"? Or any of the "Six Swedes" films? Damn. I'd have expected QT to pick some better skin flix.

  • May 11, 2007, 6:56 a.m. CST

    oh...

    by paragraphs

    how could i leave out sex. harry loves the drafthouse, obscure films, and sex. given those tastes, i wonder if he enjoyed this event then?

  • May 11, 2007, 7:20 a.m. CST

    So THIS is what Harry does with his time...

    by Thomas Cromwell

    ...hanging around with QT watching sex films. What a wonderful way to kill time.

  • May 11, 2007, 7:23 a.m. CST

    Never heard of any of these flicks

    by Brody77

    But I'll IMDB them just to see if they're worth watching (I don't trust QT's opinion on any film! lol)

  • May 11, 2007, 7:35 a.m. CST

    "Sometimes farts smell good, this is one of them"

    by Boba Fat

    Any film would be proud to have that quote on it's poster

  • May 11, 2007, 7:42 a.m. CST

    Cinta Burger

    by rost

    aka Senta Berger.

  • May 11, 2007, 8:18 a.m. CST

    Gabriele Tinti

    by Blueberry

    He was a man, so I think you should pull his mane out of the Euro-hotties list.

  • May 11, 2007, 8:51 a.m. CST

    Tarantino is over

    by Mike_Ock

    This hack was a fad like the pet rock, cabbage patch kids, and the afro. Now he's over. He's hosting these stupid festivals because he's run out of movie ideas. Death Proof proves my point.

  • May 11, 2007, 8:56 a.m. CST

    OK, Harry, you are turning me to the good side

    by trombone

    of the force. I admit I started coming to AICN just to catch up on Super-hero stuff. And now you are turning me on (heh heh) to a whole new world of film. And your FUNNIEST line so far has to be: "It's Artsy Fartsy, but you know how sometimes farts smell good" LOL!

  • May 11, 2007, 9:35 a.m. CST

    NIGHT WARNING is the last film for the Alamo Downtown?

    by Nordling

    If you haven't seen this, you have to go. Jesus, that's the perfect film to close out the Drafthouse. I gotta get down there.

  • May 11, 2007, 9:36 a.m. CST

    Less Yoko, More Reviews

    by CaseyMcCall

    No great thing can last with too much Yoko...ask Paul McCartney...

  • May 11, 2007, 10:25 a.m. CST

    Night Warning is STILL banned here in the UK...

    by Charlie & Tex

    ...but it's known as (Butcher, Baker) Nightmare Maker. It's a really enjoyable movie, but the relationship between the two main characters makes for uncomfortable viewing - probably the reason why it was deemed a "video nasty" back in the early-mid eighties...

  • May 11, 2007, 10:30 a.m. CST

    Earthquake Weather

    by Nozoli Apples

    Sounds like a great night with some sweet movies. I hope they have a great turnout for their closing. Am I the only one who really doesn't want to hear about Harry boinking? Does anyone have a pic of his wife to be?

  • May 11, 2007, 11:07 a.m. CST

    Good stuff, Harold...

    by Jakes Nel

    Quite a refreshing little article. Especially these days with half the site consisting of nothing but Spider-man 3 reviews.

  • May 11, 2007, 11:12 a.m. CST

    Hey paragraphs good thing you were "FIRST" though huh

    by CarmillaVonDoom

    Who am I kidding? But hey if you read this you are a douche. The Alamo screenings are THE REASON a lot of us come to this site...to get a connection to someplace that we can't physically BE. I would practically cut off my pinky finger and send it to Harry if he would send me a ticket. ;^)

  • May 11, 2007, 12:19 p.m. CST

    Boba Fat

    by BGDAWES

    gets the award for the funniest post of the day - hilarious!

  • May 11, 2007, 12:24 p.m. CST

    Sometimes farts smell good, this is one of them...

    by SebastianHaff

    What the fuck? I can picture Harry leaning over to the side, busting a fat juicy one out the browneye and taking a long, satasfied deep breath, smiling happily while filling his nostrils with ass smell. I can picture this, but I don't want to. Sometimes farts smell good? What the fuck?

  • May 11, 2007, 12:36 p.m. CST

    O rly

    by Kragmose

    Is it?

  • May 11, 2007, 1 p.m. CST

    My cousin

    by Nozoli Apples

    Used to sniff everyone's farts. If you farted then he'd get his nose as close to your butt as possible and start breathing in deep breaths.

  • May 11, 2007, 1:04 p.m. CST

    Too bad this may be damned near impossible to do...

    by Wizejoker

    But I'd like to see the Drafthouse host a double feature sometime this summer. A play in a park. The play? The Evil Dead musical with the Evil Dead screening behind that. I'd really love to see The Evil Dead musical. Maybe they could even get Bruce Campbell to show up!

  • May 11, 2007, 1:40 p.m. CST

    Just a theater.

    by gothfae

    Anyone who says it's just a theater has obviously never been there. I had a hell of a time last night. So I only got 4 hours of sleep for work the next morning... it was worth it.

  • May 11, 2007, 2:12 p.m. CST

    that segment ...

    by El Borak

    was close to falling off the tracks. thank god harry was tired and he didn't delve into his sex-life.

  • May 11, 2007, 4:02 p.m. CST

    Marty Feldman

    by psychedelic

    I saw this triple feature here in L.A. as part of the Grindhouse Fest at the New Beverly Cinema. Harry doesn't exaggerate about Marty Feldman in Sex With A Smile. His performance is pure genius and ranks up there with Peter Sellers' best. I hadn't laughed that hard at anything in a while. For Marty Feldman alone, Sex With A Smile deserves to be seen by many, many more people. Sex On The Run is fun too. It has a light charm you don't see often these days.

  • May 11, 2007, 6:58 p.m. CST

    Austin's charm and coolness is dying a little each day

    by Doctor_Sin

    This place sucks now.

  • May 11, 2007, 9:30 p.m. CST

    The Hijacking of Austin Texas

    by #1 Zero

    Has Tarantino just hijacked Austin Texas or what. Sure, maybe he is loved there so maybe that is the draw for him. But it seems like he is just following a trend that says Austin is the place to be. Filming Deathproof there and hanging out with Robert Rodriguez, I mean it seems like he is trying to hard to be anti hollywood and saying, "Look how cool I am, I dominate the Austin scene." Whatever.

  • May 11, 2007, 9:55 p.m. CST

    this SO reminds me...

    by smallerdemon

    of my first time at the Draft House. I have audio evidence of my first tips to the draft house. It's going to be my wedding present for you Harry. :)

  • May 12, 2007, 1:55 a.m. CST

    re: carmilla von doom / elitism

    by paragraphs

    personally, i think the drafthouse is way overhyped on this site, especially given that 99% of us will never be able to go there. it almost becomes an elite club, where "i'm a fan of real cinema, because i go to the drafthouse" is the attitude. i'm probably mistaken in this belief, but that's how it comes off to me.

  • May 12, 2007, 9:08 a.m. CST

    it's not about elitism, it's about

    by HEADGEEK

    loving film with other film lovers. There's places all over the world to love movies, from your living room to your favorite theater or wherever. <BR><BR>The Drafthouse - isn't about snobbery, it's about having as much fun watching films with other people that are tired of the standard movie theater experience. This isn't about the best screen, but great programming. Just head over to OriginalDrafthouse.Com and check out their programming - and if at the end of that, you call it snobbish... wow... that's just not at all what it's about. <BR><BR>As for 99% of you not ever being able to make it. Nearly every single time I go to a Drafthouse event, there's someone that's traveled to Austin that's only ever read about it. They've got this goofy, HOLY SHIT THIS PLACE ROCKS, smile and sometimes... just sometimes... they end up moving here.

  • May 12, 2007, 9:16 a.m. CST

    Pajares y Esteso

    by CuervoJones

    Euro sex comedies?

  • May 12, 2007, 9:53 a.m. CST

    The Drafthouse Is Not Alone

    by psychedelic

    Just to defuse this elitism thing a little further---- there are other places in the country where filmlovers can go to watch non-mainstream flicks while enjoying a beer and french fries. Prime example: The Ryder series at Bear's Place in Bloomington, Indiana. The first time I got drunk was at a double feature of Blue In The Face and Smoke. Every time I thought about Her, I took a sip and soon enough: blahhhhhhh. The first time I saw Murnau’s Nosferatu was at Bear’s with a live rock band doing an original score. To this day I still remember their main theme and would love to have a Nosferatu DVD with their score. Point being: film nuts are all over and unique screening experiences come from a supportive enthusiastic community & someone taking a risk to start a venue. Having grown up in Bowling Green, Ohio, I know the feeling of never having anything cool come near you. Try starting something in your own living room with some friends and see what happens.

  • May 12, 2007, 1:30 p.m. CST

    SAN FRANCISCO NEEDS A DRAFTHOUSE.. PRONTO!

    by gride9000

    Any investors.....I'm looking @ you harry. Frisco has the Castro, Red Vic and Roxie cinema. All of these great places do not have food and cocktail service. Austin has hicks and shitty weed, but they also have a thriving music and film scene. I dare say the Drafthouse is not the only alternative to home or theatrical presentation. There are also allot of "Videobooths" downtown, these booths offer a change to the "standard movie theater experience" we all know and sometimes love. On a final note I've seen things in these "Videobooths" that are similar to what Harry describes he saw on screen during the final QT fest. For example last time I saw a girl (It would be a lie to call her a woman) get both anally and vaginally penetrated with not one but Two penises each. How artistic!

  • May 12, 2007, 2:09 p.m. CST

    The Drafthouse is closing?

    by Quake II

    I assumed that place raked in the cash with all these festivals and publicity on this site. No one can pony up the cash and buy it? WTF? I've never been there but I've heard about it for years on this site. Why doesn't Tarantino buy it?

  • May 12, 2007, 2:17 p.m. CST

    And here in Tucson, we have a decent cinema.

    by Quake II

    It's called The Loft and they sell beer & wine, gourment pizza and hold some cool festivals as well as bringing directors to town. Loftcinema.com

  • May 12, 2007, 3:11 p.m. CST

    thanks for the reply headgeek

    by paragraphs

    that was a very well reasoned reply that made me rethink my views. who knows...maybe i'll even end up at the new and improved drafthouse sometime.

  • May 12, 2007, 4:54 p.m. CST

    Hey paragraphs sorry I was a bit rude there

    by CarmillaVonDoom

    Obviously you do read and respond to the articles, and don't just type 'first' everywhere for no reason. Best wishes to you.

  • May 12, 2007, 11:12 p.m. CST

    Lesbian scenes are the cheeze whiz of film

    by Bronx Cheer

    And booze at the movies is just an elaborate way of masking a drinking problem. Hiccup.

  • May 12, 2007, 11:32 p.m. CST

    CarmillaVonDoom

    by paragraphs

    thanks! don't worry about it though...if i took every name someone called me on the internet seriously, i'd be scarred for life.

  • May 13, 2007, 6:05 a.m. CST

    Harry the Bard.

    by La Frog

    "It is WEIRD, but good weird. It is Artsy Fartsy, but you know how sometimes farts smell good, this is one of them." No wonder females get crazy for this man. He is such a poet.

  • May 13, 2007, 6:56 p.m. CST

    that last metaphor

    by YO MOM'S GOAT

    has to be the worst I've ever read. And no, I don't know how some farts smell good. But I do know that I'm both proud and ashamed that somehow I read every word of that review. I have no idea what I read because of the horrible grammar, missing words, often absent punctuation and just generally shoddy writing, but dangit if I didn't make it to the end.

  • May 14, 2007, 7:21 a.m. CST

    Sometimes farts smell good

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    ...<p><p><p>Eh, maybe I'll skip Spidey 3 after all.

  • May 14, 2007, 10:33 a.m. CST

    Drunken Loudmouths

    by gothfae

    In all my time in Austin, I've chosen to see all my movies in two places. The odd at the Original Downtown, and the new at The Alamo Village. Not once in all that time have I been subjected to a "drunken loudmouth". If someone is loud and obnoxious, the staff _will_ throw their ass out. This is about the movie going experience, for movie goers, and I'm glad I can live in a place where I have more choices than "Cinemark" and "Regal".

  • May 14, 2007, 11:08 p.m. CST

    The Alam Drafthouse deserves to close!

    by Cinemajerk

    I never understand when places as supposedly "revered" as the Drafthouse close...and all these celebs bemoan its passing. I live here in NYC, and have lived thru it recently with the closing of CBGBs and The Bottom Line. If you friggin LOVE it that much...BUY THE DAMN thing. I mean come on. QT alone could probably buy the Drafthouse. I guess they don't love it THAT much. So stop whining and let it go. Boo Hoo!