Hey folks, Harry here with this Tuesday’s DVD Column, and I’m even giving it to you a day early. Many of you have asked why I haven’t written a SPIDER-MAN 3 review yet. Well – before we get to the DVDs for this Tuesday – let me tell you. The screening I saw of the film, had two reels reversed, which caused a 45 minute break in the flow of the film… I haven’t seen the film since, and I’m waiting to take my Nephew to it, so I can see it without nightmarish problems not a part of the film. That said, from what I saw – I enjoyed it, but felt the VENOM storyline was absolutely unnecessary and cluttered what would have been an otherwise great film… I think. But I really need to see it again.

Now, onto the DVD column. As usual, you can click on the art or the titles to be taken to Amazon, where you can learn more about the DVDs, purchase them… or you can just use this as a guide for your own personal Netflicks queue. Or a shopping guide. Whatever, I wrote it for you and for me. This is basically a guide to my own acquiring habits on DVD. These are DVDs that I’ve either received screeners of, or that I intend to purchase. I hope you enjoy it, there’s some weird stuff this week…

MUSIC & LYRICS

I’ve always been a sucker for light romantic comedies… be they from the silent era with Chaplin, the 30s with Lubitsch or the forties with Hawks or Sturges… or Wilder – even through the days of Nora Ephron – and yes… even on something as cotton candy as MUSIC & LYRICS. The whole Older / Younger thing works for me – cuz, obviously that’s my life currently, but moreso – it’s just the goofy charm of Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore. That said, I really dislike the contrivance of them fighting over an argument, that I just don’t believe. Ultimately, that sort of visciousness, I just don’t accept in the situation that we’re given, it feels like someone just trying to adhere to the structure of a romantic comedy, and clumsily trying to set up the touching reuniting and success of the couple-dom. I know, I know… Did I expect truth and honesty in a goofy romantic comedy? Well… that’s what makes the great ones like THE APARTMENT and BREAKFAST AT TIFFANYS so great – and make this one just a fun little flippant thing. The dvd has a nice set of extras like additional scenes, a lame gag reel and the best… The “POP! Goes My Heart” Music Video! Which, of course, is brilliant.

THE PAINTED VEIL

This is a heart-ache of a story. As someone headed into marriage, it’s nice to see that absolutely none of the problems in this newlywed story seem to be haunting my own betrothal. That said, damn what a great and horrible story. This isn’t the cotton candy sort of romance, but the hardest type of love story, the love story filled with deception, infidelity and ultimately understanding and heartache. Set mostly in cholera epidemic outside Shanghai as written by the brilliant author, W. Somerset Maugham. Who certainly never pulled a punch. Here, the cholera affects all ages and sexes and is not a pretty sight. The performances are great throughout. This is a solid dramatic tear-jerker. Highly recommended. The disc doesn’t have any real extras.

DIRTY DANCING (20th Anniversary Edition)

If you have the ULTIMATE EDITION, there is really no need to pick this version up. That said, if you didn’t get that edition, this has just a couple of different features not found on that set, and is mostly regurgitated materials. Basically, I believe the Patrick Swayze interview is new, but that’s about it. That said… I fucking love DIRTY DANCING. And – my love of this film has gotten me laid more than my love of STAR WARS. That said, I love STAR WARS a lot more. But I can sing along with every scene… and I do know most of the dialogue and would never put baby in the corner. Jennifer Grey was never hotter… and that blonde partner of Swayze’s was smoking hot and that straight up leg kick of hers is fantasy material for every high school kid that ever saw this teen hormone fest.

TO CATCH A THIEF (Special Collector’s Edition)

Finally a beautiful edition and fully extra’d out edition of TO CATCH A THIEF is here! I watched this about a week ago, and man is it gorgeous on my projection set up. This is, one of the most beautiful films that Hitch ever shot. But more than the film – there’s great extras material. The 4 Featurettes include stories from Alfred’s daughter and granddaughter – with footage from their home movies that kicks ass. They also have folks that worked on the movie telling their tales. Then interview material with folks like Peter Bogdanovich and Laurent Bouzereau, both of whom contribute to the Commentary – which is again, very entertaining and informative. I love this film and am very happy to have a great DVD of it.

Pirates of the Golden Age Movie Collection ( AGAINST ALL FLAGS / BUCCANEER’S GIRL / YANKEE BUCCANEER / DOUBLE CROSSBONES )

I haven’t picked this set up yet, but for $20 – I’d pay that just for Errol Flynn’s AGAINST ALL FLAGS. This isn’t comparable to the great Flynn pirate movies like CAPTAIN BLOOD or THE SEA HAWKS, but it’s still fucking Errol Flynn as a pirate. Now something I know and kinda dig about this set is that film, YANKEE BUCCANEER was shot on the exact same sets as Flynn’s – and I’ve always wanted to see that film, because I love films with different actors shooting on the same sets. Like the Spanish DRACULA on Lugosi’s sets. Or THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME on some of the KING KONG sets. Also, I’m a Jeff Chandler fan. BUCcANEER’S GIRL stars Yvonne De Carlo – and I’m sure she’s stunning, as this is 1950, and she was popping both eyes and a tent in every seat back then. DOUBLE CROSSBONES features Donald O’Connor, who is one funny fucker – I look forward to what I hope is a fun pirate comedy romp.

THAT THING YOU DO! - The Director’s Cut (2-disc Special Edition)

I don’t have this DVD, so I can’t tell you anything about the director’s cut, what’s on the 2 discs, but I do love THAT THING YOU DO! I love the music, the sense of fun, the look of the film, the acting and the story. I’m very curious to see what Tom’s Director’s cut looks like, and what more there was to the film. I will be picking this one up Tuesday.

THE CAINE MUTINY

One of my favorite Bogart performances – and once, nearly 20 years ago, I performed his Court Testimony as a monologue at a series of U.I.L. dramatic performances – in High School. And it was very hard to not do a Bogart impression, as it was his performance that brought me to the play and to the material. Edward Dmytryk’s direction was exceptional – and the performances by Van Johnson, Fred MacMurray and Jose Ferrer were all exceptional as well. The two part documentary about the making of the film was highly enlightening and I have to say… I never really thought about the fact that Dmytryk made this film the same year as Kazan did ON THE WATERFRONT – and how they both deal with similar thematic issues… but one by a man that named names… and one by a man who didn’t. Brilliant Military film, brilliant courtroom work. If you’ve never seen this film, rush to see it. It is a hole in your film viewing experience. It’s brilliant… and will show you a side of Bogart that you probably haven’t seen. Same with Fred MacMurray… aw hell, and Van Johnson too for that matter.

BIG – The Director’s Cut (2-disc Special Edition)

I like this film an awful lot. Again, I haven’t seen this DVD yet, so I can’t comment on the director’s cut of the film. But the features for the two disc special sound fantastic. Especially the “BIG Brainstorming” audio documentary of Gary Ross and Anne Spielberg working on the material that led to the original script. That’s a look into a creative process that we rarely ever get a peek into. Then there’s 10 deleted scenes and lots more. From the sound of it, it sure sounds big.

FUR – An Imaginary Portrait Of Diane Arbus

A strange wonderful bizarre and sometimes unpleasant, though thrilling look at the life of Diane Arbus as played by Nicole Kidman in this little seen but quirky film. If you know Patricia Bosworth’s biography called FUR, you know the leaping off material that this film is based upon. Arbus’ photography made the bizarre, hurt and destroyed – beautiful and timeless. Give this film a peek, it calls for it… especially for those that love culty material like Carnivals and Sideshow Freaks.

The GUNS OF NAVARONE (Collector’s Edition)

One of my very favorite films of all time. If you have the Green Edition of this… and you’re not a diehard NAVARONE geek, like me – I suppose you could exist without this version. But I swear the film has never looked better. I’m sure the 5.1 on the other version was great, but when I rewatched it – it caught me off guard again with how great it was. I actually watched the film twice that day, just because I love it so much that watching THE GUNS OF NAVARONE is a warm up to watching it again. It’s just that fucking good. The extras and the commentary are different – and this isn’t a regurgitated reissue like the DIRTY DANCING dvd. If there’s one phrase that beats the phrase, “AIRWOLF” as an excited exclamation of geek perfection, it’s “THE GUNS OF NAVARONE!” and sadly, like AIRWOLF, it’s a unique fucking bit of perfection, that is ACTUALLY FUCKING PERFECT. THE GUNS OF NAVARONE kick 100 asses every single time they line up to see it. It’s the best kill Nazis film of all time. The performances are as perfect as Gregory Peck saying the word PERFECT! This is what epic military adventure films are fucking about. And I dare any filmmaker to out GUN the GUNS OF NAVARONE, because nobody has the sack to swing it.

JASON OF STAR COMMAND - The Complete Series

The time: the distant future. Man has reached the farther stars, but has also uncovered dark, mysterious galaxies. And, as Star Command heads into the unknown, danger lies in wait.

Dude – it had Scotty from Star Trek. Cleopatra Jones from… well fucking CLEOPATRA JONES. The hero was a low rent Han Solo, but when I was 8, he seemed awfully fucking cool. This DVD set is loaded with extras – a documentary, a couple of commentaries on episodes, visual effects commentary, demo reels, reunion pics and tons more. It’s like they knew they were putting this out for us Star Command geeks that grew up with this funky fucking awesome kids show that worked so hard to entertain on such a tiny budget. All 28 episodes – and a ton of extras to boot. WOO-fucking-HOO!!!

THE INCONFESSABLE ORGIES OF EMMANUELLE

Restored from the original negative for you seventies sexploitation lovers. Jess Franco does EMMANUELLE and it’s totally hot and fun. I always knew this title by the name EMMANUELLE EXPOSED, but I have to confess – this is a far more awesome title. Yes, it’s sleazy goodness, and I don’t see why you’d fight it. Yes we have instant access to whatever porn we want, but the softcore work of Jess Franco is often times hotter for what it doesn’t show, for what it let’s you fill in in your mind. And it’s far better to watch with the fairer sex than the mechanical industrial actions of today’s porn. Plus, it was shot on film… so it just looks better.

BLIND WOMAN’S CURSE

I get sent a lot of DVDs here at Geek LoveNest – and as I open them, I can instantly tell whether or not I’ll be happy viewing it… most of the time. This was definitely one of those times. The second I saw Meiko Kaji’s name, I got very anxious to screen this film. She’s the star of LADY SNOWBLOOD and FEMALE CONVICT SCORPION… which I’ve been very fortunate to not only own, but have seen 35mm prints of. This was one, I hadn’t seen. I put this on while Yoko was at work, but surprise, she came home on her break during the simulated bestiality scene – which made her scream, “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?” and me saying “BLIND WOMAN’S CURSE” just wasn’t enough of an explanation. The film features one of the most bizarre freaky fucked-up surreal series of sequences that you’re likely to ever see in a cult film from Japan. Suffice to say, I instantly let a friend borrow it, and it’s already become a thing of legend in my circle here in Austin. This is… simply weird badass oddness of the best variety. Cult, just doesn’t cover it.

DAVID AND LISA

I own this film in 16mm – and it’s one of my favorite films that most people I meet have never seen. I bought the film, when I realized it had Dave Bowman (2001) in it. His real name is Keir Dullea, and at the time – I’d never seen him in another film, besides Stanley Kubrick’s classic. That said, he’s absolutely brilliant in this film. In the very very sub-genre of INSTITUTIONAL LOVE films, this is my favorite, followed closely by Chan Wook Park’s I’M A CYBORG, BUT THAT’S OK. The film is truly a tale about broken people finding each other through their shattered pieces. It’s sweet and heart-aching… and the dialogue is so fucking good. Discover this film, it really is brilliant.

WHITE SLAVE COLLECTION (NAKED AMAZON, SACRIFICE OF THE WHITE GODDESS & WHITE SLAVE)

NAKED AMAZON is a 1954 Shock-umentary about a white woman amongst the naked savages. Believe it or not, this thing played at Cannes in 1954. SACRIFICE OF THE WHITE GODDESS, I’m actually unfamiliar with, unless it is actually THE TREASURE OF THE WHITE GODDESS by Jess Franco, but I won’t know that till I pick this set up. But the treasure I am familiar with is Mario Gariazzo’s Italian master-cult-piece WHITE SLAVE. If you don’t like real animals slaughtered and brutal imagery – stay very far away. In fact, if you don’t like sadism, you should probably not even be reading about a collection called WHITE SLAVE COLLECTION – but for you sickos… we know who we are… how can you not pick up… WHITE SLAVE COLLECTION. It’s like Frosted Flakes, sugary happy goodness… for Breakfast, right?