Movie News

Yep... This Is It... Your Very First TRANSFORMERS Review!

Published at: May 1, 2007, 2:12 p.m. CST by Moriarty

Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here. Who would have guessed before this film went into production that TRANSFORMERS would be one of the most controversial films in the long history of AICN? We literally cannot post anything about this movie without it causing all sorts of geekquakes. And this... a test screening review? Well, first of all, whether it’s positive or negative, prepare for cries of “PLANT!” No matter what, it won’t be harsh enough for those who already hate the film, and it can’t be positive enough for those determined to love it. It seems oddly appropriate that a film with such clearly delineated good-and-bad-guys should inspire such a clearly delineated fan base. I’m just not sure who are the Autobots and who are the Decepticons. Either way, here’s your first reaction from someone who’s seen it, straight from the test screening in Arizona:

Harry and gang - Long time listener, first time caller... First, let me say, I don't know how to write a review so stick with me, I have a lot of thoughts in my head about this movie so this could be all over the place. But I just HAD to write in, I am currently the most happyest fanboy on earth! Here is the short version: I JUST SAW OPTIMUS PRIME IN AN ORGY OF KICKASSERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1) Screw you guys. The flames are cool. Nipples on batman = lame, flames on optimus = cool. 2) The robots in general are OUTSTANDING. I think ILM is doing them right? Whoever it is needs a raise - they look so real in the scenes its unbelievable (except frenzy or soundbyte or whatever he is. I’ll get into that later). They blend with the "real world" stuff so well, its awesome. 3) Optimus "lips" look bad and just piss me off. I can't imagine it will bother the general public, but anyone who has an attachment to "prime" will have issue with this for sure. There is no reason to give him lips. He speaks a few times with the shield up and it totally works….anyway. That is my only MAJOR gripe with the film. (but I doubt it's worse than "Cloudactus") 4) Shia Labuof is great as Sam Witwicky. I really wasn't sure how I would feel about him, but he nails it. He's got a great vibe on screen, I really wanted him "win". He's actually very funny as well. Great casting, he's legit. 5) Megan Fox (im sure that's no coincidence), I have no clue if she can act or not because I was fixated on her tits and ass whenever she was onscreen - pure sex (god bless you Michael Bay). I had to IMDB her after the movie because I had no idea who she is or what she had been in. I didn't care then and I don't care now. 6) Supporting cast is far better than I expected. Turturro is great as the quirky head of Sector Seven. The ladies in the audience im sure loved the beefcake tyrese and josh "las vegas" duhmel. Bernie mac and Anthony Anderson are very very funny in their small roles. 7) Action…seriously…you've never seen anything like this. Hate all you want on Bay, this is THE guy you want creating giant robot mayhem! And he does. Here is the long version: Last week I was at the Harkins Arrowhead Theater here in Peoria, Arizona to see Blades of glory. When I was leaving, some theater person handed me a flyer and asked if I wanted to see a test screening of an "upcoming PG-13 major release summer action movie" (or something like that, I can't remember). Being a movie geek, and a broke one, I was like "fuck yeah, free movie". I've never been to a preview or test screening or whatever before, so I didn't really know what to expect. All week I had been trying to figure out what it could be, my friend said "just pray it's not "Flatulence Four: taking a number two"" THANK GOD it wasn't…that would have sucked. I was thinking maybe Die Hard or maybe Pirates, but I honestly never thought I would be Transformers, I figured with all the CG that it probably wasn't ready yet. I was partly right. Anyway, i showed up last night at the same Harkins and the theater was packed, looked like a lot of families with kids and some scattered people around my age (I'm 28). After we sat for a few minutes I was looking around at the group of "reserved" seats that were taped off….and then I saw him….MICHAEL FUCKING BAY was in the house! Right then I knew what was up and I thought I was gonna SHIT! I didn't say anything to anyone…mainly because I didn't know anyone else there…but I knew… I couldn't believe my luck. there could have been some other cast or something there, but I didn't recognize anyone else in the audience. A few minutes after The Bay sat down ( I am an open Bay supporter (minus Pearl Harbor) so you can commence with your blind hateration below at anytime) , a very studio looking guy stood up in front of the theater and told us that "a lot of effects weren't done and the music was temp" blah blah. I didn't give a shit- I wanted the fucker to start! He finally says we are the "first audience to see TRANSFORMERS!" There was a loud cheer in the theater, I looked around and many of the older moms/dads didn't quite get it, but their kids seemed to know the score. I saw two 15ish year old fat kids do a chest bump…alas, I had no one to chest bump- but I totally would have! So then the movie started, I have to be honest, I was smiling ear to ear- I was about to see the MOTHERFUCKING TRANSFORMERS before anyone else! FIRST, BITCHES! (never been able to say that before :) So, the movie… It opens with what looks like the surface of a planet, Cybertron, but it doesn't look anything like the cybertron we know from the cartoons. Its more like a rocky, mountainous wasteland, but alive…if that makes any sense. Then we hear a voice and I know this voice, OPTIMUS FUCKING PRIME- albeit he sounds older and more bassy than he did in the show. It was cullen for sure though. He tells a short back story about the AllSpark Cube and how it was lost during an epic battle and all transformers went searching the galaxy for it. We see the cube floating through space and coming up on earth where it starts a comet like decent through the sky. OP stops talking and the screen goes black and then : TRANSFOMERS logo comes up. That's the only credits, no laundry list of names that no one cares about, just a logo. Loved it. After the logo we are dropped into the desert where we come up on some army guys in the back of a helicopter as they arrive at a base in Qatar, josh duhmel, tyrese and that latino guy from prison break. After some army talk and Josh Duhmel doing a cutesy baby talk webcam thing with his wife and child (luckily this doesn't really play much of a factor in the movie) we see that there is an inbound helicopter that isn't supposed to be there…cue ominous music and then BRING ON THE BANG BANG! The helicopter lands and is surrounded by armed men and tanks- but fret not for helicopter guy, cause its Blackout and he came to bring the pain. This is the scene that is in the trailer, where he starts transforming and the army goes Michael Bay on his ass. Only this time it didn't cut away like the trailer- he transforms, stands up and gets to blowing shit up! The transformation is unreal, it looks SO FUCKING COOL! Gears shifting, metal scrapping, pistons doing pistony things and it had the TRANSFORMATION SOUND FROM THE CARTOON! It had a little geek chubby, I couldn't stop smiling. Blackout proceeds to fuck shit up and nothing the army does even slows him down. I recognized a few of the shots form the trailer like the tanks flying through the air and the EMP looking thing he does. The scene is like 3-4 minutes of him just wreckin shop on the base- it was fucking awesome. There was a part where tyrese is laying on the ground below him that was kinda lame, Blackout just looks at him for a minute giving his buddy time to shoot. But then he sprouts scorponok from his back and takes out a WHOLE AIRFIELD! I just remember thinking now THAT'S how you start a giant robot movie. We then go to a school where Shia is doing a show and tell kinda thing on his grandpa (this plays a key roll in the film but I wont ruin it with detail spoilers). This whole scene and the next two or three are all simply to set up the main story of Sam (Shia) getting his first car (bumblebee) and setting up the Shia/hot girl plot. As is my problem with most "origin" movies, theres a shit load of origin and not a lot of action for the first 30-40 minutes or so. Which is probably why I like spidey 2 better than spidey 1. Maybe its my fault for knowing too much about the world before hand. Whatever. So there are some really funny moments with Shia and the girl (ill call her Foxy). Foxy is slowly wooed by Shia with the help of Bumblebee via his radio. He doesn't speak at all, he talks through the radio….which sounds really lame, and is really lame for the first couple times but then it stopped bothering me and became kinda funny (intentionally) So back to the sam//foxy story. Sam and dad go to get sams first car, we then meet Bernie Mac as Bobby B or something like that. I took it as a nod to BumbleBee (BB get it?) Bernie is actually very funny in his small part, I wasn't sure id like it (after seeing in the TV spot) but I actually really liked him. Small part, big laughs. Sam gets BumbleBee ( and yes there IS a subtle nod to the origin as there is a yellow VW bug next to the camaro) this is a pretty funny scene as BumbleBee does things to ensure Sam takes him home. The movie overall is actually very funny, in a good way. Some really cheesy laughs that are more than tolerable, its got light hearted flavor throughout, but when its time to fight- they fight- Bay style. Shia's parents in the film are very well cast and they are really funny, much more so than any other Bay characters of the past in my opinion. It feels like this is the first time where he decided to embrace some elements of cheese and run with it. I am glad he did. It works, mainly because Shia is really really great as a semi-woody allen type kid, I was genuinely impressed with him throughout the movie. So it doesn't take long for Shia to find out that BB is not just a shitty old car, it's a big ass robot…he also soon finds out that there are bad big ass robots that need something from him. He gets chased by Barricade (the cop car) and BB comes to his rescue and we see the first Robot vs. Robot action….i was a little disappointed by this in the sense that it was shot in a way where you really never got a good look at either of them. After seeing the rest of the film I can see why, they wanted to save it, but when I was watching it it bothered me that I couldn't get a good clean look at the bots. Also during this time a small "boombox" robot is on Air Force one (unsure how he got there, wouldn't an x-ray see that it wasn't normal? ) anyway, he gets into the belly of the plane and starts hacking for info and then gets in a fight with some secret service agents. Frenzy (I think that's who it is based on internet info, they never really say) is a little bothersome from a viewer perspective. He is very shiny metal and doesn't blend with the background nearly as well as the rest of them---this COULD be one of those "not yet done" things, I hope it is. It was sometimes hard to tell what exactly wasn't complete CG wise. Sometimes it was super obvious and sometimes there were small hints that it wasn't complete. I'm not sure where this bots stands in that sense. I'll refrain from describing too much detail with the rest of the film because im not a fan of spoilers. Ill simply make some general observations. I consider myself a mid-core TF fan. I LOVE transformers and ive seen every episode numerous times (G1), the movie numerous times and have been waiting for this movie for the last 20 years, but I accept that certain things need to happen in order for the movie to be made. Some lure/history/canon needs to be re-written/ignored in order to make a film like this- I accept that. The robot design change, in my opinion, was the right choice. When you see it you will understand. The boxy designs from the cartoons simply would not have worked, they would have looked stupid and old. OP mouth…..thats a different issue- it sux. Period. I really wish the decepticons, namely Starscream, would have gotten far more screen time. He doesn't show up till near the end. He TOTTALLY fucks shit up and is THE bad ass of the decepticons, but I needed more- "I've got a fever, and the only prescriptions is MORE STARSCREAM!!!!!!" The rest of the decepticons (except megatron) are pretty much just fodder for the autobots to stomp on, which im fine with, that's all they were in the cartoon anyway. Megatron, even in his "cyberform" is pretty fuckin cool. When he eventually gets in on the fight he makes it clear who is boss. He never "scans" anything on earth so he stays in "cyberform" the whole movie….and yes I know it's called "protoform" but that term seems stupid to me. We do, however, get to see at least a glimpse of the SS/Megs dynamic. "you failed me yet again Starscream" was awesome!" Some of the voices I think were temp still as they were hard to understand. Megatron didn't sound at all like Hugo Weaving to me, but as I said, the audio may have been temp. Optimus Prime- sword arm- fuckin sick! That's all im gonna say about that. OP says more than a few of the "iconic" lines from the toon- there are many many nods and references to the history of TF, it's clear that there was a lot of thought into adding some "fan only" moments into the film that the general audience wont get, which was great. I'd say about 25% of the robot stuff was still temp and there was very little music/score in place so some scenes felt a bit slow and hard to keep up with, but I think once the FINAL movie is out in theatres those moments will be fixed. So to sum this all up: This is a Michael Bay movie. Make no mistake about it. You can see influences from Spielberg and a conscious effort to make this not just a blow em up bang bang movie (although I would have been fine with that). The last 30 minutes is non-stop robot destruction- I honestly couldn't tell you everything that happened because it was just so damn awesome I had a hard time even keeping up- i almost wish I hadn't seen it….because now I have to wait TWO MORE FUCKING MONTHS TO SEE IT AGAIN…explosions, destruction, robots flying through the air, shooting missiles and rockets from their arms- absolute insanity on city streets. This is what I wanted to see out of this movie. There are some things that you may shake your head at or roll your eyes during, but when you see the goods, the stuff WE ALL want to see, you let the other stuff slide. Or at least I did. Cardsfan34 p.s. Go suns, fuck the lakers p.p.s. commence hating……now!

Readers Talkback

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  • April 27, 2007, 1:08 p.m. CST

    sweeping the leg

    by CobraKai

    And coming in first!

  • April 27, 2007, 1:10 p.m. CST

    2nd - maybe - now to read the article

    by kinghenryVIII

  • April 27, 2007, 1:10 p.m. CST

    Giant robots fighting!

    by Fecal Debris

    No complaints here.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:11 p.m. CST

    let me guess? a first time reviewer?

    by splungiest

    because this reviewer reeks of chlorophyll and manure.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:12 p.m. CST

    PLANT

    by DrDestructo

    Dude, at least put some effort into selectively disparaging things. So much to choose from and the only thing you really hated on was the lips?

  • April 27, 2007, 1:14 p.m. CST

    "Transformation sound from the cartoon"

    by Fecal Debris

    Ah, the glorious "WAH-COO-CLAANK!" I too, achieved arousal just reading about that.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:14 p.m. CST

    People have made thier minds up already

    by emeraldboy

    about this film. and without seeing it. its bay movie with a an apparantly lousy script. the fact that it is bay film was all people needed.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:14 p.m. CST

    FANTASTIC, now remove the lips and we got THE ULTIMATE.

    by Evil Hobbit

    FANTASTIC, now remove the lips and we got THE ULTIMATE transformers movie.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:16 p.m. CST

    emerald boy

    by Grayle

    Apparently you've already made up your mind about it before seeing it too.... interesting how that works

  • April 27, 2007, 1:16 p.m. CST

    MORE LIKE AN ORGY OF SUCKASSERY

    by Pound Sand

    The lips, my God, THE LIPS!

  • April 27, 2007, 1:17 p.m. CST

    BAY WILL KICKS ALL YUR ASSES 747!!! w00t!

    by GARTHIMUS

    this is NOT TOY MOVE!!! http://bayformers.blogspot.com/2007/04/transformers-your-toys-wont-work-on-teh.html

  • April 27, 2007, 1:17 p.m. CST

    I'm an open Michael Bay supporter, too

    by DerLanghaarige

    Minus The Rock, Bad Boys 1 and Pearl Harbor.<p> And IF this reviewer is a plant, he is one of the smarter ones, because it sounds 95% real.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:18 p.m. CST

    Plantada

    by asterix_te

    de todos modos, aunque los reviews que pongan la describan malisima, estare en el cine el dia de su estreno para verla. (I'll see it anyway) Quien puede perderse la oportunidad de ver una pelea de robots gigantes?

  • April 27, 2007, 1:18 p.m. CST

    15 YEAR OLD FAT KIDS GOTTA CHEST BUMP

    by Pound Sand

    ridiculous

  • April 27, 2007, 1:19 p.m. CST

    yes! argue for me nerds!!

    by BadMrWonka

    nerds arguing is like my heroin...<p>oh I'm gonna be high all day...

  • April 27, 2007, 1:20 p.m. CST

    BRING ON THE BANG BANG

    by Pound Sand

    What about the pivotal "dog peeing on Optimus," part?

  • April 27, 2007, 1:20 p.m. CST

    * sigh * Where do you even begin...

    by magnetozx

    with a review like this? This guys claims to be 28, but he sounds like a 13-year-old. "Orgy of kickassery"? Good grief. And how about this gem: "Explosions, destruction, robots flying through the air... This is what I wanted to see out of this movie." The only thing this review proves is that if you love Micheal Bay, you'll love this movie too. What a surprise.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:21 p.m. CST

    GREAT SUMMER POPCORN FLICK!!!

    by TiNSeLToWN TeRRoR

    BRING IT!!!!CAN'T WAIT!!!! Transformers & Pirates 3 will be the 2 Biggest and Best POPCORN Flix this Year! Both in Moneymade and COOLNESS!!! NOW someone make a LIVE ACTION GI JOE MOVIE!! But NOOOO SHIA! AND NOOOO NIPPLES ON SNAKE-EYES!!! ONLY NIPS ON SCARLET & LADY JAYE AND THE BARONESS!!!

  • April 27, 2007, 1:21 p.m. CST

    YOU GOT THE TOUCH!!

    by mgmontgomery

    YOU GOT THE POWER!!

  • April 27, 2007, 1:21 p.m. CST

    Not first!

    by Charlie & Tex

    Sounds like it could be better than we thought. It would have been nice to compltely remove Optimus Prime's lips, but you can't have everything. They just hastily included the mouth-shield in an attempt to appease the hardcore fans.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Reserving judgement

    by toadkillerdog

    I will just wait and see the movie before rendering any opinion on the merits of the director, and the movie itself. But since this is AICN, and since quite a geeks have never matured past fecal throwing stage - I do not expect the majority to take that view.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Fucking hell. Break out the Agent Orange

    by Lost Prophet

    Plantiest sentence I have ever read: <p>He doesn't speak at all, he talks through the radio….which sounds really lame, and is really lame for the first couple times but then it stopped bothering me and became kinda funny (intentionally) <p> oh dear. The classic admit to something everyone already knew was shit to try to fool people into thinking that you are not a plant. Sort of like the sentinel thing the plants came out with in X3 reviews last year.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:22 p.m. CST

    WHEN IT'S TIME TO FIGHT, THEY FIGHT BAY STYLE

    by Pound Sand

    Man, this review is a cornucopia of ludicrous comments

  • April 27, 2007, 1:22 p.m. CST

    A 28 year old guy just said "Flames are Cool!"

    by GibsonUSA Returns

    I wanna see what this guy looks like. 28 year old guy....7 years out of college.....just said flames on Optimus was cool....

  • April 27, 2007, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Well..

    by zb.brox

    ...I'm happy to hear that the action is so kickass, but this really did nothing to alleviate my fears that the robots won't do anything *but* kickass, and the story itself with center on pussy humans I care nothing for. Also, I'm very upset to hear that there is so little Starscream in it. Ah well. Guess we'll see.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:24 p.m. CST

    YAY...

    by justcheckin

    YAY......

  • April 27, 2007, 1:24 p.m. CST

    THE ARMY GOES MICHAEL BAY ON HIS ASS

    by Pound Sand

    We should try this in Iraq.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:25 p.m. CST

    BEST LINE OF THIS REVIEW = "(I'M 28)"

    by Pound Sand

  • April 27, 2007, 1:25 p.m. CST

    BAY STILL GOTS THE TOUCH!!!!

    by GARTHIMUS

    its like 1998 agin, not 1984 HATERZ!!! BAY WILL OWN YUR SUMER!!!

  • April 27, 2007, 1:26 p.m. CST

    if its a plant, fuck it

    by moners

    The "review" literally just explained exactly what people ALREADY like/dislike. no new info, all we got there was "Im a Bay fan, therefore I liked it". Bias trash.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:26 p.m. CST

    horseshit. I'm 28 and would never say "Flames are cool"

    by Lost Prophet

    Apart from then. Never again will I say flames are cool. From Now....<p> to say that just proves you're a fucking plant.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:27 p.m. CST

    Alright, well that was fun

    by godzillasushi

    Clearly he's a bit amped up from getting to see the screening. But heck, it doesn't sound all that bad. Unforunatly, it sounds like they focused on the humans a bit too much. Starscream not coming till later...kinda sucky. But hey, he says it was great so whatever.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:28 p.m. CST

    moners

    by Lost Prophet

    this is because everyone already knows that if you are a bay fan you will like it. If you hate bay, and have problems with the script, design, anal rape of childhood etc, you are never going to be convinced, so there is no point in appealing to you, so the plant may as well consolidate his fan base.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:29 p.m. CST

    we've been had - all this worrying about his

    by durhay

    flames while we never considered his robot lips! From now on let him be known as LIPITOR, THE ROBOT WITH LIPS.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:30 p.m. CST

    HE SOUNDS OLDER AND MORE BASSY THAN HE DID IN THE SHOW

    by Pound Sand

    love it.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:32 p.m. CST

    Cardsfan34, you have created an Instant AICN Classic !

    by Pound Sand

    each paragraph, carefully constructed, is gold.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:33 p.m. CST

    Did Michael Bay say where he was going after the show?

    by BGDAWES

    I bet he drove off to Vegas to go snort some coke off a hooker's ass. Also, I'm an open Michael Bay supporter too and like all of his movies except for The Island, Bad Boys 2, Pearl Harbor, Armageddon, The Rock, and Bad Boys 1.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:33 p.m. CST

    PLANTFORMERS: Reviewers in Disguise

    by LaneMyersClassic

    I actually liked "The Island." Gotta agree on the Megan Fox T&A.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:34 p.m. CST

    have you ever...

    by Spice-Orange

    NOT gone to a blockbuster because reviews were bad? this movie will make lots of money. bad reviews or not. and the "keecoo keecoo keecoo" sound is in the movie?! holy shit. im excited!!!

  • April 27, 2007, 1:35 p.m. CST

    Are you F**king kidding me, talk about a plant

    by satman83

    It's nice to see that the studios that relie on our money, find the need to to try this kind of fucking shit. I mean who on earth would think this was real in anyway? I mean apart from talking like a 13 year old moron or added to the fact its more like hes trying to talk like one of us (a sad and transparant attempet). Also stupid to comferm our fears of being hardly no Starscrem in this movie and almost 80 to 90% focusing on human crap. I Also want to add that next time you (moronic studio people) try this shit, please keep in mind unlike you were not moronic kiss ass and we can form our own opinions. Jesus fuck me christ i really hate shit like this..."Not a plant"...yea right thats like Harry saying he isnt fat or lazy

  • April 27, 2007, 1:35 p.m. CST

    All these talkbacks have already beeen written

    by magnetoelectric

    No matter how positive or negative the reviews will be.Overall it was an interesting review from a confessed Bayfan.But all we will ever hear is the same ol shit from both sides.Even after they see this fucker the haters will say shit like"Sure the robots punching each other were cool ,but flames and lips are dumb."And the Pro Transformer crowd will say equally stupid shit like"Told you so!",..and "Bay pwns!" So what the fucks the point by now?Why even discuss it?BTW-The most telling detail in this entire debacle has always been the shared want on both sides of the "Franchise".Lets me always know whos a filmgoer and whos a fanboy.One good or bad movie isnt enough,theres got to be three of these fuckers...Its just stupid

  • April 27, 2007, 1:36 p.m. CST

    all I know is...

    by filmicdrummer17

    I looked over, and I saw Kurt Russell laughing at these two 15-year-old fat kids doing a chest bump, and that's when I realized it was a good movie.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:36 p.m. CST

    You don't know how to write a review?

    by CyberVishnu

    Really? Nooooo! I never would have guessed after sifting through such a piece of finely constructive prose. In other words, you fucktard plant. Please don't write anymore reviews of ass kickery. I'll wait on Moriarty and Quint's thoughts.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:36 p.m. CST

    Between this "Review"...

    by Luvs269er

    ... and the "reviews" for Shoot 'Em Up (directly below on the AICN main page)-- one producer has gotta be bitching about all that typing causing his carpal tunnel to flare up again.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:37 p.m. CST

    I'll take...

    by allyousay

    ...Plant for 100, Alex.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:38 p.m. CST

    god bless you Michael Bay and im 33

    by Mr_X

    <p>and i'll say flames are cool with an added "motherfuckers" and "biatches" on top. Read the first bit and the last bit, wanna see the whole movie fairly spoiler free. Sweet. And fuck all yo haters.</P> <p>// normally i'm quite a productive member of society</p>

  • April 27, 2007, 1:39 p.m. CST

    First time screeners generally love EVERYTHING-

    by Jugdish

    Trust me - I loved Pearl Harbor when they screened it in February in Denver...I had a boner the whole time cause I saw it 3 months early & I sat right in front of Bay and Brukheimer- Even gave Harry a good review...

  • April 27, 2007, 1:39 p.m. CST

    does he shave lightning bolts into his hair?

    by Kloipy

    that's what 28 year olds do

  • April 27, 2007, 1:39 p.m. CST

    Did the fat kids...

    by TheSultanOfErato

    ...look like Meatloaf's character Bob Paulson in Fight Club?

  • April 27, 2007, 1:40 p.m. CST

    For the love of God.

    by Galva

    If Michael Bay were an auteur of some kind, I'd have no problem with him comming in and making changes. As it is, Pearl Harbor and The Island are Bay's most personal films, and while the action and explosions will be nice, that doesn't mean a damn thing when the story is shit and the designs are fucked up.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:40 p.m. CST

    Remeber Super Sugar Crisp back in the 70s

    by Fecal Debris

    when you'd get those little terrariums in the cereal box, and you'd wet the sponge, and put it on the window sill, and a week later you'd get...what was it? Oh yeah, a plant

  • April 27, 2007, 1:40 p.m. CST

    If he's a plant, he's a pretty good one.

    by Novaman5000

    Sounds legit to me, but there's no pleasing some of you. If I were to submit a review, I'd leave a space at the bottom and then just spoil the fuck out of it, because it seems like unless a reviewer does that you all scream he's a fake... Then when he spoils it you scream about not wanting spoilers.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:41 p.m. CST

    TINO TINO TINO! TINO MANIA!

    by thebearovingian

    Come one, come all, and Damn Michael Bay!

  • April 27, 2007, 1:42 p.m. CST

    By the Power of Grayskull!

    by sevenrivera

    That review was an absolute disaster. First of all, I'm not even sure he saw the movie. He describes in detail some of the scenes from the trailers and then only vaguely smatters in bits from the script. And as someone else noted, he practically tracks the talkbacks in his comments. And even assuming he did see it, based upon the quality of this review, then he must have seen it as part of a charity screening for autistic kids (which coincidentally is Michael Bay's target demographic). This guy reads like a Corky Thatcher book report. This movie is going to suck so badly my insides are sad just thinking about it. Fuck you Michael Bay, fuck you in your ear. By the way, note that even this r-tard thought that parts are being played for cheesy laughs. Is that what you want in your transformers? Bumblebee the Love Bug and the cheesy Small Wonder/Full House type family interactions? Good lord this is gonna suck. I hate you Michael Bay with all of my soul.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:44 p.m. CST

    I'm just busting his balls

    by Fecal Debris

    I mean, his pistil and stamen. I'm sure he's legit.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:45 p.m. CST

    Novaman's a plant

    by Kloipy

    a lily of the valley to be exact

  • April 27, 2007, 1:47 p.m. CST

    Where's Uncle Jay's review?

    by MaxHunter73

    Curious about how he feels about Michael Bay...

  • April 27, 2007, 1:47 p.m. CST

    Where's Uncle Jay's review?

    by MaxHunter73

    Curious about how he feels about Michael Bay...

  • April 27, 2007, 1:47 p.m. CST

    Anyone who likes flames is

    by Lost Prophet

    an inbred redneck with a predilication for rubbing alcohol and incest. <p>wow. Violence and being rude on the anonymous internet- we can all do it and it doesn't make you a fucking hero.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:50 p.m. CST

    Now I will see this movie...

    by Dollar Bird

    ...for the chest-bumping fat kids. If that happens before every showing, it's comedic genius beyond any "intentional" Bumblebee-can't-talk laffs. Man, a "glimpse" of Starscream and Megatron's relationship IS NOT ENOUGH! I demand snide comments and Cybertronian bon mots! I doubt this guy is a plant, but I have no doubts he can't write and has no love for quality.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:50 p.m. CST

    By the way JRkerr

    by Lost Prophet

    what's wrong with an ipod?

  • April 27, 2007, 1:50 p.m. CST

    PLANTFORMERS 2: Plant Harder

    by satman83

    Novaman5000 are you fucking kidding me? "Sounds legit to me, but there's no pleasing some of you. If I were to submit a review, I'd leave a space at the bottom and then just spoil the fuck out of it, because it seems like unless a reviewer does that you all scream he's a fake... Then when he spoils it you scream about not wanting spoilers." my god your a fucktard...maybe if it wasnt as clear as day how badly planted this was, i mean for christ sakes hes talking so much shit it hurts, funny how he only mentioned things in the trailer isnt it? or how the things we all hated are now magically better

  • April 27, 2007, 1:50 p.m. CST

    HAS THIS PLACE EXPLODED YET?

    by THE KNIGHT

    Damn Michael Bay?

  • April 27, 2007, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Optimus Primoplantae.

    by Rufus_T_Firefly

    And I thought that 100-level biology class I took would get no practical use during my lifetime...

  • April 27, 2007, 1:53 p.m. CST

    Optimus Prime's flaming nipple lips...

    by SkiBum

    ...raped my childhood in the ass!! Get over yourselves. This movie is going to be a blast. Can't wait.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:53 p.m. CST

    Bernie Mac is hillarious!!!!!!!!!

    by Kloipy

    WEEEEEEEEEEEEE he then turns into a blender and does his taxes on president bush's ass crack!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAY

  • April 27, 2007, 1:54 p.m. CST

    U TALKBACKRS DO NOT DESERVE BAYS PISS!

    by GARTHIMUS

    U HATERS dont desrve even to be pissed on by BAY! Hes oviusly made GRATE MOVIE and still U WHINE!

  • April 27, 2007, 1:55 p.m. CST

    Thank God he made Grate movies

    by Kloipy

    I haven't seen enough done about storm drains

  • April 27, 2007, 1:55 p.m. CST

    It's funny that studios think we talk like that

    by zacdilone

    No self-respecting geek would use the phrase "go all Michael Bay on his ass." Not even the most strident Bay supporter among us.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:55 p.m. CST

    Why this sounds like a PLANT

    by LilJimmyNorton

    I'm not one who normally posts on here other than an occasional line or two but after reading this review I again feel the need to post my 2 cents. First let me say that the only reason I am still going to see this movie is because of Cullen. That alone is the only nostalgia factor I need. It would have been better to get welker as well but 1 out of 2... I work with alot of copywriters, and this just smacks of someone who is trying to relate to the fanboy. This person addresses every single complaint I have seen on these boards (lips on OP, flames on OP, human vs robot story, transforming robot sound,etc) and spins a positive on all of them. Come on, if you really like all of the changes more power to you but it's a little unbelievable coming from someone who said they liked the original source material and is 28 and grew up with it (I am 29 and am so unexcited about this movie). Then this person reviews only the first 1/3 of the movie, whetting our whistles with spoilers galore and then suddenly deciding not to post anymore spoilers? Seriously??? There is even a place where thye sum it all up. That's like one of the first rules of writing something like this; always write the most important thing last because generalyl that's what most people remember: the last thing they've read. There are many more glaring examples of this but I really don't feel the need to point them out so I'll end with this: If you are that dead set against it, PLEASE DO NOT GO SEE IT. After reading all the bad press and story synopsis of X3 last year, I didn't go see it, I still havent seen it, and I will never end up seeing it. It's that simple to teach HWood a lesson, stop bitching and take action, just boycott the fucker. And TINO! TINO! TINO! (I dont know what it means but it makes me laugh).

  • April 27, 2007, 1:56 p.m. CST

    I'll say it... FAKE!

    by nonsensical

    Is there anyway we can get a confirmation that this "test screening" was actually held? <p> Honestly, this guys "review" didn't bring any new information abou this film or what happens in it than what we have already seen in trailers and clips, or through interviews and the like from Bay, LeBouf, and others in this film. <p> This "review" doesn't make me want to see this film anymore than I already don't and infact it just confirms that this is utter crap. <p> Every single detail this guy "gave" to us is something that has already appeared in trailers or clips. It reads like a review of everything we have seen or heard so far and I can't tell you how this can even qualify as a review. <p> It's not. <p> This really is not a review of the film. <p> <p> Also, I know people are complaining about the cloud galactus. I get that... but, think about how much time is left before that film comes out. How easy would it be for Tim Story or Avi Arad to look at the negative feedback of people here and say to themselves, "Galactus as a cloud might hurt box office. We should change that." Give it a week for character design, and modeling, another week for rigging, and then about three weeks for animation for the minute or so Galactus "appears" in the film and so long as renders started a week after animation began they would be done with plenty of time to make the release date. Even if the novel says cloud, it might be altered given the poor response. <p> I say might, because if there is one thing I've learned while working in this business it's that no one in the industry has the balls to actually fix an issue that could adversly affect a film. <p> I think this is mostly because the reaction is like your girlfriend's reaction when you ask her to take it in the butt. She (people) get pissed that you would even suggest that they accept this proposition, but then a few days later when you ask again she sighs and tells you to use plenty of lube as she takes off her clothes. <p> I wish people would be strong enough to stand by their first, "fuck no that won't fly" ideals. If we did that then maybe the film industry would start listening. <p> However, back to this review it feels fake.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:58 p.m. CST

    Bay speaks on the Test Screening

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    http://tinyurl.com/2dpvjz

  • April 27, 2007, 1:59 p.m. CST

    Look, bottom line is plant or not

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    You all know we're going to shell out money to see this. I grew up with Transformers, and you know anything beyond the first generation sucks. BeastWars, et al is a bunch of crap. It has Peter Cullen, it has Agent Smith, an acceptable substitute, we are going to see this.

  • April 27, 2007, 1:59 p.m. CST

    Reviewer didn't see it... Bay and Co confirmed no lips

    by the_pissboy1

    Bay and Co said the lips on Prime was a test thing and not for consumption. This boob never saw the movie. http://www.autoblog.com/2007/04/26/phew-optimus-prime-does-not-have-lips/

  • April 27, 2007, 2 p.m. CST

    Well, he's openly Bay

    by Fabulous Freak

    Damn flamboyant bay men, and their goddam nipple infatuations.

  • April 27, 2007, 2 p.m. CST

    Christ, don't you people read the news?

    by the_pissboy1

    http://news.google.com/news?q=prime%20lips&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&sa=N&tab=wn

  • April 27, 2007, 2 p.m. CST

    Awesome review due to one line...

    by McBane

    I saw two 15ish year old fat kids do a chest bump…alas, I had no one to chest bump- but I totally would have! <p> Schweeeeeeeeet!! <p> New AICN catchphrase anyone?

  • April 27, 2007, 2 p.m. CST

    other funny plant moments:

    by Lost Prophet

    1) pretending to be one of us and not a studio shill: "Being a movie geek, and a broke one, I was like "fuck yeah, free movie"<p>2)deliberate mangling of english- note the misspelling of Role, the missed apostrophe,and the atrocious grammar: "this plays a key roll in the film but I wont ruin it with detail spoilers".<p>3)pathetic attempt to establish TB history: "FIRST, BITCHES! (never been able to say that before :)"<p>WTF?: "I consider myself a mid-core TF fan" <p>basically I can do this for ages- STUDIOS you get a D- for this review: MUST TRY HARDER

  • April 27, 2007, 2:01 p.m. CST

    I am not sure

    by lionbiu

    ...I actually don't think it's a plant. I just think its a very ecited fan who could not get their thoughts together to write a coherent review. I don't have high hopes for the movie, but it sounds like it will do everything its supposed to.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:02 p.m. CST

    I'm gonna laugh...

    by filmicdrummer17

    when this turns out somehow to be a real review. You guys wouldn't have bought ANYTHING. You'd call Quint's review a plant if it didn't have his name on it.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:02 p.m. CST

    i didn't have a dick to suck, but if i did I totally

    by Kloipy

    would have!!!!!

  • April 27, 2007, 2:04 p.m. CST

    oh bullshit

    by Lost Prophet

    this review has every plant cliche ever attempted. If it does turn out to be real then he is a complete cretin, but seriously though. I doubt it very much. <p>just look through the review, there is plant tag after plant tag, almost one a line.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:05 p.m. CST

    Most of you geeks

    by A Day of Days

    Make me ashamed to be a geek. PLANT! my ass. If someone says something positive about a film, its a plant...if they say something negative, its a plant because they're trying to trick us. Get a fucking life. And Lost Prophet, I'm going after you because you're the most recent post as I'm writing this...many people confuse the two words "role" and "roll"...the guy may be a little lacking in the vocabulary department, but it doesn't make him a plant. You fucking kids on here just like to think you know something about anything.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:05 p.m. CST

    Fecal Debris, you've gotta be about 42 to 45 years old-

    by LaneMyersClassic

    Am I right?

  • April 27, 2007, 2:05 p.m. CST

    filmicdrummer17, That's why I asked...

    by nonsensical

    if we could get a confirmation.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:06 p.m. CST

    A Day, the guy said Bernie Mac was hillarious

    by Kloipy

    there is no way that can be real

  • April 27, 2007, 2:07 p.m. CST

    MICHAEL BAY FUCKING LOST.

    by JusticeSabre

    Cease the lies, people...

  • April 27, 2007, 2:08 p.m. CST

    die hard is pg13?

    by batmanthehorse

    please tell this guy doesnt know what he's talking about because if Die Hard isn't rated R that's insane.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:08 p.m. CST

    "she sighs and tells you to use plenty of

    by trafficguy2000

    lube as she takes off her clothes" Funniest fucking thing I've read all day!!! Godspeed good sir!

  • April 27, 2007, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Again, days- bullshit

    by Lost Prophet

    if it was just the misspelling of role then fine- it's an easy mistake to make, and fuck proofreading. But look at the rest of that sentence, and that is only one line. The whole review is written in this way. <p> The point is that they think as we post on-line we are utterly incapable of writing, and have nothing more than a binary vocabulary. The mangled English is a sign of a true plant.<p>If he is not a plant, then he is 12.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:10 p.m. CST

    I wish the bitching was in disguise...

    by SavageDragoner

    Okay, yes the review was awful, I won't speculate on whether he was a plant or not (although Jesus, you guy are paranoid sometimes) or even the downward spiral of Michael Bay. But c'mon guys, this is TRANS-FUCKIN-FORMERS we're talking about. This movie is going to rock your lame asses so hard you'll think you've just been annally raped by a guitar. Oh and BGDawes, if you happen to read this, I bet I can read your mind...

  • April 27, 2007, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Did Armageddon really get the highest test score of

    by Lost Prophet

    his career. Fucking hell. That is sad.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:14 p.m. CST

    Are you kidding, Prophet?

    by A Day of Days

    I've seen many talkbackers type like (insert retarded kid from pop culture). My point is that you plant-criers are right alot of the time, but then you just get on a high horse and call it whenever someone somewhat positively reviews a flick you already decided will be crap. Truth is, you make an ass of yourself calling plant when you can't ever be sure. Of course I guess thats why the internet is anonymous...

  • April 27, 2007, 2:15 p.m. CST

    5,000 posts attainable?

    by just pillow talk

    like moths to the flame...

  • April 27, 2007, 2:17 p.m. CST

    I looked over

    by skimn

    and saw Kurt Russell had no one to chest bump, so its not a good thing.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:18 p.m. CST

    @ Mr. Nice Gaius

    by UltraMeerkat

    The forum the URL you posted is bloody awful. You can't move for massive, bandwidth consuming animation loops, teenagers and ass-kissery. Seeing stuff like that really makes a person appreciate the miminalist design of this forum.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:19 p.m. CST

    HUGE FUCKING PLANT!!!

    by Leafy McPlantsalot

    Sorry, maybe this movie will rock but this plant shit is really obvious. The writing sounds like the VP of marketing trying to sound young. FIRST BITCHESS!!!! Referenced way too many things that only this sight has brought up as problems. As if to directly tell us that everything we worried about will be fine. Whatever, i hope it rocks, but this is a plant.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:19 p.m. CST

    Just Pillow, 5000 posts about Kathy Bates Hot Tub

    by Kloipy

    LET US DO IT!!!!!!!

  • April 27, 2007, 2:19 p.m. CST

    A Day of Days is a plant!

    by just pillow talk

    amen messi!

  • April 27, 2007, 2:20 p.m. CST

    It isn't just the English

    by Lost Prophet

    although that doesn't help his cause. It reminds me of the MutantCamel X3 review from last year- which actually got pulled by Mori- he names every single thing that people have been bitching about, and then either dismisses it, calls it pathetic whining, attempts some sort of hip joke about it, or attempts to turn it into a positive. This is a plant. <p>In fact "The boxy designs from the cartoons simply would not have worked, they would have looked stupid and old." Is almost straight off www.suckmurphysfatnob.com. <P>Also, the stylistic problems are inconsistent- if you have no clue how to write you do not suddenly produce perfect English and then produce crap again. <p>RINO- reviewer in name only

  • April 27, 2007, 2:20 p.m. CST

    Grammaton Cleric Binks...

    by Galva

    ... yeah, I am going to shell out money to see this. I will pay my 9 bucks for a ticket to Live Free or Die Hard, and then I will go see this, mostly so I can complain about it more accurately. I refuse to download movies illegally, but at the same time I refuse to pay for Mike and Steve to fuck my favorite characters up beyond all recognition with the excuse being "it needs to be more realistic." Really. Oh reeeally. Realistic like 300 you mean? Like Sin City? Like the Star Wars series, prequels and all? Like Fast and the Furious? Like the three bajillion other big blockbuster movies that come out every year with exactly realistic physics and guns that run out of bullets and heros that look like a young Ernest Borgnine? Bumblebee is a damn robot, what reason could possibly exist that his voice box couldn't be fixed and he's got to rely on a satellite radio advertising gimmick to talk!? Pile on to that the fact that the robots are able to magically heal themselves in the script. Show me one design in the whole movie that could even slightly work in the real world. Seriously, the movie is about GIANT ROBOTS FIGHTING A GALACTIC CIVIL WAR. There is not one damn thing realistic about this and the attempts to do so in the script are preposterous.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:21 p.m. CST

    Cardsfan

    by skimn

    is just Bay-curious, and doesn't understand the confusion.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:21 p.m. CST

    and the impact of giving her a sponge bath..

    by just pillow talk

    will it do permanent damage to the human mind?

  • April 27, 2007, 2:22 p.m. CST

    ha! wheres finky

    by Lost Prophet

    TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:23 p.m. CST

    if he would have mentioned how funny Shia's Taint

    by Kloipy

    was then maybe i would have believed him

  • April 27, 2007, 2:23 p.m. CST

    ok Porphet

    by A Day of Days

    After a second reading, I see you point. I never said it wasn't a plant...I was on the fence, now I'ma little on your side. But still, I think I'm going to write a review about this movie that does nothing but bash it, then see how many people cry plant. A little nerd social experiment, if you will.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:23 p.m. CST

    PLEASE LOSE THE LIPS

    by The Dude Abides

    Come on, Bay, there's still time. Besides, it looks retarded. And why do robots need lips?

  • April 27, 2007, 2:25 p.m. CST

    My favorite parts of this plant's review...

    by Lucasblows

    ...are the swipes at Fantastic Four (which will also suck) which is the biggest summer movie opening right before this, his convient misspelling of LaBeouf and inability to remember Megan Fox's character name.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:25 p.m. CST

    Optimus' lips don't look right? Fuck's sake...

    by Stuntcock Mike

    What about the snatch lips?

  • April 27, 2007, 2:28 p.m. CST

    go for it-

    by Lost Prophet

    however, you have to include the tells or it isn't fair. I bet reviews will be split for this. Harry will gaze it it in a pile of drool with a goofy expression of wonderment on his face, Quint is lready determined to like it, as is Capone- see the interview with Shia where they criticise TB'ers. Vern- well, vern is vern. Mori will be the one to watch, as he has stated repeatedly that he is on the fence so far. Fan reviews will be "It sucked because", and "it rocked because", there will be no "It was OK type reviews", and all fan reviews will get PLANT screamed at them by the apologists and haters alike. I refuse to see this just for the dog pisses on giant robot bit, but like the arguments.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:28 p.m. CST

    I think Shia wrote this review

    by Kloipy

    think about it, he reads the TB's, he's a tool........

  • April 27, 2007, 2:29 p.m. CST

    shit proofreading blows

    by Lost Prophet

    I meant "gaze at it".<p>Fuck's sake, maybe I am a plant.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:30 p.m. CST

    nope, it's not Shia

    by just pillow talk

    he's busy giving kathy bates a sponge bath right now...

  • April 27, 2007, 2:31 p.m. CST

    just wrong guys

    by Lost Prophet

    Leave that nasty Kathy Bates shit alone.<p>what's wrong with you?

  • April 27, 2007, 2:31 p.m. CST

    He'll need at least 7 sponges

    by Kloipy

    and some steel wool

  • April 27, 2007, 2:32 p.m. CST

    blindfold, ear plugs...

    by just pillow talk

    and lots of prayers to God..

  • April 27, 2007, 2:33 p.m. CST

    THIS YEAR'S LITTLE MISS PEARL HARBOR!!!

    by Err

    God help us all.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:33 p.m. CST

    stopped reading at "Flatulence Four"

    by chaffg

    Cardsfan34 never post here again

  • April 27, 2007, 2:33 p.m. CST

    poeticwarrior II

    by SavageDragoner

    Just speaking the truth my man, just speaking the truth...

  • April 27, 2007, 2:33 p.m. CST

    gives new meaning to his movie Holes

    by Kloipy

    yummy

  • April 27, 2007, 2:34 p.m. CST

    After reading that "review," I hope that kid is a plant

    by moondoggy2u

    Otherwise, the kid is an absolute disgrace to our gene pool. "Michael Bay style" indeed. This kid reads like some socially retarded adolescent whose entire vocabulary seems to consist of "kewl," "sick," "Bay-style," and south park quotes accompanied by chest-slamming. Again, with people like this dumbass in Bay's corner, is it any more obvious as to why most of us have had problems with this film? This caffeinated, bong-smoking, 12-year-old mental giant is the POSTERBOY of Bay's core audience. Unfortunately, it also seems to be the target audience of this "franchise in the making" and not the real fans. Do you guys understand why we're pissed, now?

  • April 27, 2007, 2:34 p.m. CST

    After reading that "review," I hope that kid is a plant

    by moondoggy2u

    Otherwise, the kid is an absolute disgrace to our gene pool. "Michael Bay style" indeed. This kid reads like some socially retarded adolescent whose entire vocabulary seems to consist of "kewl," "sick," "Bay-style," and south park quotes accompanied by chest-slamming. Again, with people like this dumbass in Bay's corner, is it any more obvious as to why most of us have had problems with this film? This caffeinated, bong-smoking, 12-year-old mental giant is the POSTERBOY of Bay's core audience. Unfortunately, it also seems to be the target audience of this "franchise in the making" and not the real fans. Do you guys understand why we're pissed, now?

  • April 27, 2007, 2:35 p.m. CST

    Mr Clean

    by skimn

    Magic sponge to get between the creases.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:36 p.m. CST

    FIRST THING THAT MADE ME THINK HE'S A PLANT:

    by Kirbymanly

    He used Shia LaBouf's character's FULL NAME.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:36 p.m. CST

    and disturbia...

    by just pillow talk

    that's gonna leave a mark...<p>C'mon LP, nasty Kathy Bates is like Salma Hayek...except nasty.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:37 p.m. CST

    Besides, this idiot VOLUNTARILY went to Blades of Glory

    by moondoggy2u

    That alone tells you what kind of movie Transformers is. Any movie that appeals to that crowd is not something you want to subject to yourself.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:37 p.m. CST

    Original Transformers was shit

    by Wyrdy the Gerbil

    I hope the film is nothing like the series because it was a childish crappy shit cartoon that thankfully disappeared off TV...the film at least "seems " to aiming for a harder gritty more adult look. also frankly ive never really understood way so many pathetc wankers seem to hate nearly every film Bay is involved with,The Rock,Armeggedon were great fun fuckung films to watch dipshits..so live with it..(or not i dont care)

  • April 27, 2007, 2:38 p.m. CST

    Salma doesn't deserve to lick the corn out of Kathy's

    by Kloipy

    stool. I mean, she's like the Land O Lakes of beauty

  • April 27, 2007, 2:39 p.m. CST

    The plants don't care if you out them.

    by I Dunno

    The percentage of people who are wise to the whole plant thing is very small.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:41 p.m. CST

    Translation to Plant

    by Lucasblows

    Bay style means it's shit. Loud, noisy, messy diarrea-like shit.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:41 p.m. CST

    fuckung fu films for dipshits:

    by just pillow talk

    gymkata and the octagon. enjoy!

  • April 27, 2007, 2:41 p.m. CST

    Wyrdy

    by moondoggy2u

    Armeggedon was a movie made for morons who label movies like Lawrence of Arabia, Gone with the Wind, and Citizen Kane as "Artsy-Fartsy." In fact, anyone who uses that term is a moron.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:41 p.m. CST

    God, I hate this reviewer.

    by Blarney-Man

    What an obnoxious ass. Do everyone that send in reviews to this site have the IQ of a monkey? Fucking hell, I feel dumb just reading his "review".

  • April 27, 2007, 2:43 p.m. CST

    I agree, Blarney

    by moondoggy2u

    The very fact that an obnoxious little cretin enjoys this film makes most of us want to run for the hills.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:43 p.m. CST

    kathy can lick the corn out of her own stool

    by just pillow talk

    thank you very much!<p>Salma is a goddess, no ifs ands or buts about it. Kathy is a loch ness (monster).

  • April 27, 2007, 2:45 p.m. CST

    WORD TO WYRDY... TRANSOFORMERS CARTOON SUCKS!!!

    by GARTHIMUS

    winey GEEWUNNERS with rose colrd GLASSES! it was nuthin but TOY COMMRCIAL!! 1984 is OVER!! go sit on YUR 1984 PRIME DOLL!!! menwhile BAY will stuf his TALENTD ASS with AMERCAS MONEY!!! http://bayformers.blogspot.com/

  • April 27, 2007, 2:45 p.m. CST

    yeah I feel bad about the Salma thing

    by Kloipy

    she is amazing. and yet Kathy bates has that certain pudding like quality

  • April 27, 2007, 2:46 p.m. CST

    Anyone else agree with me on this issue?

    by moondoggy2u

    A thumbs up from this reviewer is a thumbs down from anyone with a higher IQ than that of most sponges. Lets see, he came out of Blades of Glory, and went into Transformers (which was "sick"). What's next on his itinerary, Shreck the Third?

  • April 27, 2007, 2:46 p.m. CST

    McBane FKCB

    by Stuntcock Mike

    It's a keeper me thinks.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:48 p.m. CST

    i was going to say jello like quality...

    by just pillow talk

    since everything jiggles around when she moves..plus cosby hits that hard like there's no tomorrow.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:48 p.m. CST

    I wish Total Fucking Destruction was here

    by Kloipy

    so he could tell me that I was going down a road to Total Fucking Destruction

  • April 27, 2007, 2:49 p.m. CST

    Oh you know Cosby is all up in dem guts

    by Kloipy

    That's a Picture Page I'd hate to see

  • April 27, 2007, 2:49 p.m. CST

    Garthimus.

    by Lucasblows

    Nice spelling.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:49 p.m. CST

    ya know Kloipy, I was thinking just the same thing..

    by just pillow talk

    Where art thou o TFD?

  • April 27, 2007, 2:49 p.m. CST

    ANIMAL!

    by Kid Z

    ... Oh... uh... fuhgeddit! Too bad Corman's not doing regular work anymore. I was really hoping for an ultra-low-budget "GoBots" feature designed to cash in on the Transformers hoopla...

  • April 27, 2007, 2:50 p.m. CST

    You know how to fix this mess...

    by billy_club

    I think they need to add Jar Jar Binks to this movie.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:50 p.m. CST

    Day of the Triffids!

    by HarryBlackPotter

    Damn, those Plants are deadly!

  • April 27, 2007, 2:50 p.m. CST

    Somebodies been eating too many sweets....

    by Judge Dredds Dirty Undies

    Please lets leave Harry as the only hyperactive man-child to post reviews on AICN.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:51 p.m. CST

    moondoggy

    by skimn

    Hey, Armeggedon was hokum, but it was entertaining hokum. At least it was the better of the two "approaching meteor" movies that year. Which, yes, isn't saying a whole helleva lot.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:51 p.m. CST

    temporary blindness would follow

    by just pillow talk

    then a pain beyond your imagination, at least that's what happens to bill.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:52 p.m. CST

    Pure Sex

    by Boomers_Lips

    sounds like Transformers to me!

  • April 27, 2007, 2:53 p.m. CST

    What a terd

    by Rat Fink

    This review is such a piece of shit it makes my head hurt. Regardless I still can't wait for this movie

  • April 27, 2007, 2:53 p.m. CST

    Wow, not only do we get a review

    by Snookeroo

    but roughage, too.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:54 p.m. CST

    no, it's been scientifically proven

    by just pillow talk

    that kathy bates, while a hideous disgusting jello like substance is human-like, rosie o'donnell is not. My theory is that she's a bantha.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:55 p.m. CST

    I think Cthulhu, but she could be a mix

    by Kloipy

    like the speculations fly

  • April 27, 2007, 2:55 p.m. CST

    undeniable proof it's a plant

    by BadMrWonka

    he's not here gloating/defending/rambling about his review...you KNOW if you gto the first review up for Transformers, you would be here answering questions and sopping up what you percieved to be "glory" (actually nerd spooge). <p>dude's not here. plant.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:57 p.m. CST

    Cyclonus and The Sweeps should be in the sequel!

    by Boomers_Lips

    along with Terrorsaur, Rhinox, Sixshot, and Arcee.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:57 p.m. CST

    Transformers, eh. Where's the STAR BLAZERS movie?

    by Abin Sur

    How could that NOT kick the world's ass?!?

  • April 27, 2007, 2:58 p.m. CST

    Well I need to return to the belly of the beast

    by Kloipy

    Peace out

  • April 27, 2007, 2:58 p.m. CST

    good luck trying to capture this mythical creature

    by just pillow talk

    called "Rosie O'Donnell". Others have tried, and failed...some never to return. As you said before kloipy, she ate her own hand. What chance do we, as a human race, have?

  • April 27, 2007, 2:58 p.m. CST

    actually

    by lionbiu

    re-reading this either it's a plant or the biggest retarded 28 year old on the face of the Earht. It really does read like a 12 year old on speed who has just seen a clitoris for the first time.

  • April 27, 2007, 2:59 p.m. CST

    Mr Plant....................

    by Stuntcock Mike

    sheesh, did the fucking gobots have lips too?

  • April 27, 2007, 2:59 p.m. CST

    Will power of a Green Lantern

    by a rolling stone

    None of us have power rings (real ones, I mean) so it's safe to say we don't have the willpower to boycott this movie anymore than we have the willpower to stop talking about the plant's transparent review. Hollywood is much like Big Tobacco here. They know we're addicts, so they don't care if the product they sell us is faulty. But quit? I can't! Daddy needs his candy.

  • April 27, 2007, 3 p.m. CST

    later Kloipy

    by just pillow talk

    say 'hi' to Kathy for me! :-)

  • April 27, 2007, 3 p.m. CST

    Skimn

    by moondoggy2u

    I suppose that depends on what you define entertaining, doesnt it? When I go to movies, I'm entertained by an interesting plot, good acting, and a competant script. Hell, as long as a movie has two of my three requirements, I'll be just fine. But I cant sit through a film that has none of the requirements, ala Armegeddon. True, I have a tolerance for bad sci-fi films, but only when they are actually attempting to be thought provoking or humorous, in which case I will give them an 'A' for effort. Armageddon, however, was just so all over the board with no semblence of consistancy, realism, acting, dialogue, or even plot. Hey, I gave "The Island" a pass because it was an attempt at being thought provoking. True, it descended into Bayism at the very end, but it was still a pretty decent movie. I walked out of Armageddon.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:03 p.m. CST

    Leafy green foliage

    by Jimmy2Times

    But who gives a shit? This is a Transformers movie, anyone of you fanboy nuggets who make out you wont be first in line at the multiplex....pleeeeeeeese, kiss my white limey ass, this summer is gonna own all our asses.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:04 p.m. CST

    Speak for yourself, rolling stone...

    by Abin Sur

    I got your power ring RIGHT HERE! ;)

  • April 27, 2007, 3:04 p.m. CST

    "15 year old man-boobs slapping together"

    by Snookeroo

    thanks for that mental image. Now I have to rinse my cranium with kerosene and set fire to it. And anyone that tries THAT hard to defend Shia LaBouf's appearance in this movie HAS to be a plant.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:06 p.m. CST

    Definitely a plant

    by PwnedByStallone

    It just reeks of a suit trying just a little too hard.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:06 p.m. CST

    This assclown isn't worthy of the PLANT title!

    by S-Mart shopper

    I smell donny 2chins!

  • April 27, 2007, 3:07 p.m. CST

    Postive Review=Plant, Negative Review=

    by Datascream

    Balls to the wall authentic. Jesus christ people. btw...all the douchebags still crying over the stupid fuckin lips need to catch up on their reading. Bay has openly stated OP will NOT have lips. look it up if you know how.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:07 p.m. CST

    no, Spidey 3 will own my ass (or make me cheadle in my

    by just pillow talk

    pants),not this Jimmy2times.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:09 p.m. CST

    This kid...

    by Rat Fink

    needs to stick to swallowing hot dogs whole or whatever else he's good at but stay away from reviews. Next time he should have his mom proof read his shit before he smears it

  • April 27, 2007, 3:09 p.m. CST

    Grayle

    by emeraldboy

    I was referring to the people who are saying the movie will suck, they say this on the basis that a)its a Micheal Bay and )b the script sucks. I havent seen the film yet becuase its not out yet, so I havent seen the finished article, I so if i say something will suck and havent seen it yet. it makes no sense.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:10 p.m. CST

    GO LAKERS

    by wcoop893

    suns are the gayest

  • April 27, 2007, 3:10 p.m. CST

    sounds good though, pretty much what i expected

    by wcoop893

    only time will tell.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:11 p.m. CST

    Datascream

    by Rat Fink

    what the fuck are you talking about? Have you not seen the clip

  • April 27, 2007, 3:11 p.m. CST

    "I honestly couldn't tell you everything that happened

    by S-Mart shopper

    because it was just so damn awesome I had a hard time even keeping up"<p>not only do I call BULLSHIT...I also call SHENANIGANS!<P>this "review" is a hoax.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:12 p.m. CST

    LOST SOUL

    by CVB784

    Did you really question the studio's appraisal of your "binary" vocabulary?

  • April 27, 2007, 3:12 p.m. CST

    AUTOBOTS, Transform...

    by sickboy_ukuk

    and fuck off

  • April 27, 2007, 3:16 p.m. CST

    did this guy basically just review old stuff?

    by batmanthehorse

    it seems like everything he mentioned is from set reports or convention clips or the internet clips. what about the rest of the movie?

  • April 27, 2007, 3:17 p.m. CST

    pistons doing pistony things

    by batmanthehorse

    christ

  • April 27, 2007, 3:19 p.m. CST

    pilates.

    by future help

    paahhlant.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:20 p.m. CST

    Transformers, or TransPLANTers?

    by MisterE

    Is this about giant robots, or gardeners?

  • April 27, 2007, 3:21 p.m. CST

    Definition of KICKASSERY

    by Rat Fink

    Websters defines KICKASSERY as a word used by 13 year old boys who still piss the bed and jerk off to Mokey from Fraggle Rock while writing a shit fake review

  • April 27, 2007, 3:23 p.m. CST

    where can I find

    by RokurGepta

    the Italian version of the transformers movie poster? <p> please <p> thank you

  • April 27, 2007, 3:23 p.m. CST

    michael bay is the man

    by batmanthehorse

    thats so awesome that michael bay is directing a movie about giant robots. i guess its based off some kids show about red trucks with blue pants. i dont know, hopefully it won't be as lame as that and he'll fix it up a little bit. transformations was a pretty weak cartoon.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:23 p.m. CST

    Come on, Bay was born to make this movie

    by Jack Burton

    The one thing Bay does well is destroy things and I have every belief that "The Transformers" is Bay's "Citizen Kane". I'll be surprised if it's good, but it will have spectacular visuals and that is really all I care about in a movie based on a toy.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:25 p.m. CST

    You're right, you can't write a review...

    by Pdorwick

    ...but at least you're a Sun's fan; go Steve Nash!!

  • April 27, 2007, 3:25 p.m. CST

    LilJimmyNorton

    by Badger999

    ...did you used to play SWG on Wanderhome?

  • April 27, 2007, 3:25 p.m. CST

    bay does more than blow stuff up

    by batmanthehorse

    when he had bruce willis tell ben affleck that he always thought of him as a son and ben affleck was like "I love you" I was crying so hard. emotional stuff, man. emotional stuff.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:25 p.m. CST

    Jack Burton

    by RokurGepta

    I can't believe you just compared Transformers to Citizen Kane. <p> please tell me what you're smoking, so I can make sure to stay away from it.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:27 p.m. CST

    Ugh, and the plant is a Cardinals fan too?

    by Ricky Henderson

    This prick is worthless in every possible way.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:29 p.m. CST

    the rock was better than citizen kane

    by batmanthehorse

    citizen kane was so boring. at least the rock had a car chase.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:30 p.m. CST

    BATMAN THE HORSE --

    by GARTHIMUS

    U have GOOD TASTE my frend!!! BAYS GOT THE TOUCH!!!! http://bayformers.blogspot.com/2007/04/bayformers-rocks-bay-has-touch.html

  • April 27, 2007, 3:30 p.m. CST

    Did the PLANT also plant the paint on Schilling's sock?

    by Err

    I bet he did.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:31 p.m. CST

    kudos to AICN, way to start off the TB weekend

    by S-Mart shopper

    ammo has been given to both sides of the TB/TF war!<p>I fear however it's in favor of the haters! All you Bay fluffers can keep suckin it!

  • April 27, 2007, 3:32 p.m. CST

    yeah this is gonna hit 1000 posts easy

    by Ricky Henderson

    so says Rickey.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:32 p.m. CST

    BAY FLUFFERS??

    by GARTHIMUS

    BAY is ALL MAN! BIG ACTION MOVIES!!!! he needs no fluffin!!!! BOOM! KAPOW!!!! MONY IN THE BANK!!!!

  • April 27, 2007, 3:33 p.m. CST

    yeah batmanthehorse

    by just pillow talk

    U ARE #1! CASABLANCA WAS BORING 2! CAR CHASES DEFINE THE CREAMY GOODNESS OF A MOVIE!

  • April 27, 2007, 3:34 p.m. CST

    Lips on Spiderman?

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Done.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:34 p.m. CST

    MICHAEL BAY CAN KILL NINJAS!!!

    by GARTHIMUS

    with his TEETH!!! hes THAT awesome!!! BOOM!!! shot for the edit, BAY!

  • April 27, 2007, 3:34 p.m. CST

    you do!

    by batmanthehorse

    When all hell's breakin' loose You'll be riding the eye of the storm

  • April 27, 2007, 3:35 p.m. CST

    DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY-DESS AND STEVEN SPIELBERG-DESS!!!!

    by Err

    Damn your opening in Asia.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:36 p.m. CST

    Yo Rickey, how long before Pelphrey gets sent down?

    by just pillow talk

    I was at the Braves game, and he was just awful. He's lost his control.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:36 p.m. CST

    THE TRAILER MAKS ME SHIT MYSELF!!!

    by GARTHIMUS

    THAT IS BAY DOIN WHAT BAY DOS BEST!!! MAKIN AUDIENCE SHIT THERE PANTS!!!! wont u SHIT YUR PANTS with me on 7.4.7??!!!?? U now U will!!!! BOOM!!!

  • April 27, 2007, 3:38 p.m. CST

    There is more in this world than you realize,Mr. Burton

    by Galva

    Transformers has had hundreds upon hundreds of comic book issues spread over different companies and continuities, same cartoon wise. There are a wealth of stories from which one could mine a good movie script, hell, just retool the 3-part opener for G1 (More Than Meets the Eyes) and that would have been perfect.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:39 p.m. CST

    Reality check to my G1 bretheren

    by Monty 16

    I have been reading these tranformers talkbacks for a while with some disgust. I grew up with transformers..Optimus Prime was the first thing I drew and the first thing I made in 3d..as for the movie I had the soundtrack on cassete and wore it out..It was a serious part of my childhood, comics, TV, Toys I had them all. Alpha Trion,Key to vector Sigma, Buster, Spike, jetfire, skyfire, all of that stuff. It can't be the same thing in a real movie the attitude and designs of the characters had to change..were older now..I dont want to see people shooting at feet Gijoe style I want to see things get messed up.The TV show didn't have story or character development..it was a long commercial for toys. We loved it, it was awesome, but thats all it was.I was ecstatic when they chose Cullen for the voice. I did a lot previz for Transformers, as a fan boy ..huge thrill...but as a fan boy I will tell you....you will all eventually see it..no matter what you say now..you will see it because its that good. You have never seen action sequences like these on screen ..ever. No sense in changing your mind now I know, but relax sit back...give your angry little typing fingers a rest for 2 months and enjoy it when it comes out..

  • April 27, 2007, 3:39 p.m. CST

    Curt Schilling is a

    by Rat Fink

    Jesus Freak prick

  • April 27, 2007, 3:41 p.m. CST

    Yeah dude, Pelfrey is worrying me

    by Ricky Henderson

    I actually was at that Pelfrey game too on Friday night against the Braves (although I was too shitfaced to remember any of it) But if you want to talk about painful... I was at that Ollie Perez game where he walked in 4 runs. Fortuntely it seems like Perez is back in prime form once again. Pelfrey? Not so much. Maybe we'll be seeing Humber soon.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:41 p.m. CST

    Michael Bay makes entertaining movies. Period.

    by riskebiz

    No matter how much fanboys want to hate him, the fact is his movies are really watchable and just awesome bits of eye-candy. Give HIM the Superman sequel. That'll amp things up to 11 and get the people what they want!!!!!

  • April 27, 2007, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Citizen Kane

    by skimn

    wouldv'e been so much better with a high speed sled chase. GO ROSEBUD GO!!

  • April 27, 2007, 3:43 p.m. CST

    What a tool ass review

    by Neil McCauleys Crew

    anybody else from the AZ screening that can craft a more coherent review than this?

  • April 27, 2007, 3:44 p.m. CST

    The motivation behind genre exploitation is to fleece

    by S-Mart shopper

    the fans. It's not being done FOR the fans, it's being done to get their money. There is NO love behind the camera(except the love between Bay's nostrils and his eightball).<p>Garthimus, you shouldn't be able to type with your lips wrapped around Bay's coke numbed member, cup the balls junior!

  • April 27, 2007, 3:44 p.m. CST

    Hey, how long until Ganymede shows up?

    by Ricky Henderson

    Seriously, its not a Transformers talkback until that plant Ganymede shows up to defend this garbage...

  • April 27, 2007, 3:45 p.m. CST

    So it sounds exactly like that script.

    by superninja

    Oh well, I'm sure Bay fans will love it.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:45 p.m. CST

    THANKYOU MICHAEL BAY, MB HATERS... FUCK OFF

    by bongo123

    hahahahahaha, you fucking lamos who have done nothing but rant and rant about this movie and michael bay can stay the fuck in your basements cause we just got a review from pretty much one of us, i.e. movie geek and he loved it!!!! fuck im sooo happy and so elated that all you wankers that done nothing but diss this movie constantly for months on end will soon be shown for exactly who you are, fucking bunch of losers who should now better.... roll on the summer

  • April 27, 2007, 3:46 p.m. CST

    You know, I just realized...

    by Roguewriter

    ... there really is a solid career in the movie industry as "TalkBack Plant Writer." No other way to explain this. Methinks I wanna look for that gig on Monster.com... I can set aside all logic, taste and integrity for $75k/yr. Of course, you probably have to blow Joel Silver or something, so I do see drawbacks...

  • April 27, 2007, 3:47 p.m. CST

    Early Realise

    by satman83

    Hey GARTHIMUS "THAT IS BAY DOIN WHAT BAY DOS BEST!!! MAKIN AUDIENCE SHIT THERE PANTS!!!! wont u SHIT YUR PANTS with me on 7.4.7??!!!?? U now U will!!!! BOOM!!!" wow i cant belive how right you are. every time i watch a bay film my body losses all blader control over the shitness...also i dont know that they aloud PC's in padded rooms

  • April 27, 2007, 3:48 p.m. CST

    Michael Bay.....

    by RokurGepta

    The Island (2005) <p> I liked it, but it wasn't great, it seemed like a slightly better than mediocre rip off of logans run <p> <p> Bad Boys II (2003) <p> I loved this movie!!! <p> <p> Pearl Harbor (2001) <p> Super gay movie, I hated it <p> <p> Armageddon (1998/I) <p> I really didn't like this movie at all <p> <p> The Rock (1996) <p> The Rock is a rock solid movie full of awesomeness. I heart this movie <p> <p> Bad Boys (1995) <p> Really Good movie, I liked it alot!!!!!

  • April 27, 2007, 3:48 p.m. CST

    Wyrdy the Gerbil

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    has spent too much time up Richard Gere.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:48 p.m. CST

    Yeah they haven't deviated from the script at all

    by Ricky Henderson

    It still has the awful glasses mcguffin. And the autobots bumbling around the like the Marx Brothers at Sam's house. And countless other ridiculously unnecessary things.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:49 p.m. CST

    This shit

    by Rat Fink

    is more fucked up then my checkbook

  • April 27, 2007, 3:49 p.m. CST

    No lie!

    by sapno_krei

    Was browsing the want ads today, and I came across "AICN Review Planter", right there between "Actuary" and "Ant Farmer".

  • April 27, 2007, 3:50 p.m. CST

    How can there be a VW Bug in the film?

    by jabbathegriffin

    Didn't Volkswagen forbid them from using their cars?

  • April 27, 2007, 3:50 p.m. CST

    When is...

    by BillyPilgrim

    the remake coming out?

  • April 27, 2007, 3:51 p.m. CST

    ILM did the fx...

    by Shaner Jedi

    ...with a healthy assist from Bay's own Digital Domain. The practical fx were done by KNB FX.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:53 p.m. CST

    Stupid Review

    by Optimus Murphy

    He couldn't bother to mention whether of not the PUSSY ON OPTIMUS was more realistic and less blocky. Jesus, that's what Bay does best, and apparently the Prime Vagina is ILM's best work to date. How could he leave that out?

  • April 27, 2007, 3:55 p.m. CST

    Pearl Harbor was not an entertaining film.

    by Err

    Neither was Armageddon.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:55 p.m. CST

    bongo123

    by Stuntcock Mike

    You are the prototype of a Michael Bay fanboy. You hear that noise? That's your Mom banging on the bathroom door so put down the Sears catalog, tuck your preeteen junk back into your Pearl Harbor Underoos, and wash your hands, din din is ready.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:55 p.m. CST

    Wow, Messi, you really kept track of the original team

    by moondoggy2u

    I can't think of anyone outside that list that was here at the very beginning of this little slog. Still, I dont think anyone has fought as hard as Yack. Superninja came close. I think I rounded out at third or so. I'll bet anything that this thread gets to 2000 posts by monday.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:56 p.m. CST

    why the curt hate?

    by rdsxfan8

    the guy has never strayed from beign a man of controversy. he uses his blog to get his word out insted of what the media wants you to think happened. so what if he tells it like he sees it, Im just glad he pitches for my team!!!!!

  • April 27, 2007, 3:56 p.m. CST

    Monty 16...

    by Galva

    I'm well aware of the problems that have plagued Transformers. The inconsistencies, the stupid crap, the unbearably bad episodes, etc. I own all of it. However, there is a "core" to Transformers, there are bits and peices that are considered cannon across the varying continuities (the good ones, anyway) that work well, make sense, and are well worthy of being made into a film. Of course things are going to change from one medium to another, particularly one as expensive as film, but there's a point at which changes become pointless, or worse than pointless. Bumblebee's voice. The Matrix being switched out for "the Allspark cube." THEN there's just bad design. Think of characters that have lasted well beyond what is normal in pop culture- simple designs, iconic looks. I'm not going to say I want the TFs to look EXACTLY like they do in the animation design sheets, but for God's sake, making them into giant walking trashpiles (or in Starscream's case, a fat monkey/Waspinator) is going unecissarily far. Again, if Bay was ANY kind of artist, then I'd be more likely to accept change. Changes could be made to make the concept more realistic, fine. But this sure as hell isn't realistic in the least. Bay can claim that he has some kind of idea about what a movie audience will or won't swallow, but I posit that in a world where White Chicks can be a successful movie, audiences will swallow ANYTHING.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:57 p.m. CST

    As far as movie reviewers on this site go...

    by Err

    Not one of them lives up to what I consider the standards for movie reviewing. All these user movie reviews are made from people who have no real concept of what makes a good movie a good movie.

  • April 27, 2007, 3:57 p.m. CST

    Dark Chocolate M&M's are the BOMB!

    by S-Mart shopper

  • April 27, 2007, 3:58 p.m. CST

    Well, lads and lasses, I'm off to Best Buy

    by moondoggy2u

    I have to pick up some DVD-R discs. Fight on.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:01 p.m. CST

    cs didn't fake it

    by batmanthehorse

    that blood had to be real...i still don't like schilling or the sox or the yanks or anybody. tigers all the way. gary thorne has always been a bit of a moron.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:04 p.m. CST

    I dont get to be in the movie

    by Phategod1

    Messi wussup with that. GARTHIMUS you crack me up. But this reviewer is too dumb to be a plant. Clearly this is Bays Target audience. The Lowest common (dumb as a box of fucking rocks) Denominator. lets hear it for the TLCD.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:06 p.m. CST

    WIll be the biggest movie of the summer.

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    I fucking can't wait. More stoked for this movie now then I am for Spiderman 3. Yup that's right. I can't wait to see Transformers. Sounds like it's going to be exactly what I was hoping it would be, Robots blowing shit up!!

  • April 27, 2007, 4:06 p.m. CST

    If only GALACTUS was in this flick (without the cloud).

    by JDanielP

    LOOKS AWESOME. This is the kind of showmanship that reminds me of how/why the summer blockbuster was born. And if Warner Bros. can't get Peter Jackson interested in directing JUSTICE LEAGUE, then they should hire Michael Bay. I'm not a huge fan of Bay. However, he does have that eye for iconic/epic imagery. And I'd take a half-hour of that... over 2 hours of something far less. Warner Bros. could do much worse. Peter Jackson first, Michael Bay second (since James Cameron won't be available).

  • April 27, 2007, 4:08 p.m. CST

    if this movie is like Pearl Harbour or Armegeddon

    by RokurGepta

    It will suck ass.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:11 p.m. CST

    Galactus

    by RokurGepta

    remember Star Trek: The Motion picture... maybe the cloud in ROTSS:FF4-2 will be akin to the cloud in ST:TMP? right?

  • April 27, 2007, 4:12 p.m. CST

    Bay is going to come on all you MFers July 4th

    by Lost Skeleton

    ...and like JHud...You are going to love it!

  • April 27, 2007, 4:12 p.m. CST

    It always comes down to story and character

    by superninja

    for me. Great action is nice, but it's just not the point to a good film unless you have great characters. Shia as a teenage Woody Allen type is what he comes across as in that script, and if you think about it, this is really pathetic characterization. What the heck does Shia's character getting laid have to do with Transformers? It's idiotic.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:14 p.m. CST

    Armageddon at least was bastardizing cliches

    by superninja

    Transformers is bastardizing a great concept.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:16 p.m. CST

    I still dont get to be in the movie

    by Phategod1

    Hell I've had Bitch sessions with Don Murphy. Iv'e actually had one if his sycophants try to get me fired over this movie and inspired 3 out four his Screen names.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:16 p.m. CST

    ***BRING ON the summer biNg bANG boOOm BLOCKBUSTER!***

    by JDanielP

    YeeeeEEEEAAAaahhhh, flame that silver screen, Michael Bay!

  • April 27, 2007, 4:17 p.m. CST

    RE: "...getting laid have to do with Transformers?"

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    It means that Sam will "transform" into a MAN, baby.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:18 p.m. CST

    Transformageddon, eh?

    by MCVamp

    Once in the theater, once on the tube, and never speak of it again. Sounds like a plan.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:18 p.m. CST

    You got the touch.

    by Christopher3

    You got the power. So despite being live action, it's still mostly a cartoon.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:20 p.m. CST

    Chest Bumping Fat Kids!!!!

    by jrbarker

    That's now going to be the name of my band! Oh...and this "reviewer" is a fucking plant. What, do the studios think we're all stupid?

  • April 27, 2007, 4:20 p.m. CST

    Its more cartoonish and simplistic than the

    by superninja

    cartoon, trust me.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:21 p.m. CST

    READ THE NEWS - NO LIPS ON PRIME********

    by the_pissboy1

    Do you fucking people read anything but AICN? No lips on Prime. This reviewer is just a cock-pulling basement-dweller MAKING up a bogus review. http://jalopnik.com/cars/movies/transformers-movie-update-optimus-prime-will-not-have-lips-++-so-sayeth-michael-bay-255384.php * http://www.autoblog.com/2007/04/26/phew-optimus-prime-does-not-have-lips/ * http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Optimus-Prime-Does-Not-Have-Lips-5034.html *** Do some fucking research, people.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:21 p.m. CST

    So let's see. We've taken a concept about

    by superninja

    the nature of warfare and two opposing worldviews, and transformed it into Shia's quest to get laid with some robots thrown in. Aces! What will G.I. Joe be about? Let me guess, Snake Eyes just wants his own talk show?

  • April 27, 2007, 4:23 p.m. CST

    I wish the reviewer had told us...

    by HoboJuiceExplosion

    ...how many Pepsi/Coke products to expect in the film...how many Autobot are sporting Michelin tires...and how many times Taco Bell is providing burritos to Megan Fox(y).

  • April 27, 2007, 4:23 p.m. CST

    I don't know if this guy is a review or not but...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...the test screening was to have taken place in coughArizonacough and a lot of people got to check it out. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if AICN receives more reviews here soon.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:24 p.m. CST

    A cursory evaluation of decipticon forces indicates

    by Faust_8

    a distinct tactical deficiency So a director says nothing before a screening....and Optimus Prime has lips. Is this the twilight zone? PLANT !!!

  • April 27, 2007, 4:24 p.m. CST

    Correction: ...if this guy is a plant or not...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Geez.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:25 p.m. CST

    So you're saying....

    by smackfu

    I get the Juicer AND the Mixmaster 5000 AND a moneyback lifetime guaruntee? That sounds too good to be true. Seriously, this review IS a plant. There is nothing more obvious than the words of an out-of-touch person trying to appeal to the 'hip young kids today'. If this review isn't a plant, and this guy really talks like this...I would gladly give up my Transformers ticket for an opportunity to savagely beat him for exposing me to that review.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:26 p.m. CST

    more so

    by Faust_8

    you suck reviewer

  • April 27, 2007, 4:27 p.m. CST

    "This Year's Diane Keaton Full-Frontal!"

    by Earl Dittman

    Earl Dittman - Wireless Magazine

  • April 27, 2007, 4:28 p.m. CST

    Eat your popcorn and quit bitchin'

    by spanklube

    It's a sad state of affairs when a group of "movie fans" stop being such and think they can be 'arm chair' movie makers. For all the haters for either Bay's vision of a CARTOON and a TOY, this is typical Bay fair, popcorn chewing action and summer fun. If you want thought provoking, try something that is an original thought and not based on toys and cartoons. Less we forget, how many remakes of TV shows, or action Sci Fi epics. George Lucas missed out and so many geeks love his films. Granted, Bay has made some cannon fodder, but then he makes films that aren't intended to activate neurons that require deep thought, just those neurons taht want to make us smile and stare at big explosions and amazing CG technology. In the end, those that hate, how many of you have been given a warehouse full of money to make something fun? So take your minimum wage, burger flippin' comments, and stick to your fan boy groups that beleive that "He missed the true vision of Transformers". ITS A MOVIE BASED ON A TOY, its not real. If you could have done better, write a treatment for Go-Bots and get that big paycheck.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:29 p.m. CST

    I got a burrito for Megan Fox...

    by S-Mart shopper

    it's cheadle-icious!

  • April 27, 2007, 4:29 p.m. CST

    I want to know how man product placements

    by superninja

    the robots crash into.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:29 p.m. CST

    pissboy1

    by Stuntcock Mike

    So, lips on Prime or what?

  • April 27, 2007, 4:31 p.m. CST

    Well whatever the case may be....

    by RokurGepta

    I only have 7 days until I get to enjoy Spiderman 3 in all it's glorious IMAX greatness. <p> I declare May 4... SHINY.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:32 p.m. CST

    Have you heard about

    by Phategod1

    the Optimus Prime BK commercial. Oh its true ... Damn True.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:34 p.m. CST

    Go Bots vs. The Rock Lords: The Movie

    by RokurGepta

    it's real, it's happening, it's a made for tv movie coming next December, on Fox Television. <p> www.fox.com/gobots <p>

  • April 27, 2007, 4:35 p.m. CST

    Remember the BK - Lord of the Rings commericals?

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    And merchandising? 'Tis true, Phategod1.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:35 p.m. CST

    I declare May 5th...BORRACHO!

    by S-Mart shopper

    VIVA LA RAZA Y CERVEZA!

  • April 27, 2007, 4:38 p.m. CST

    Go Bots vs. Traci Lords

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Let the ropey jets fly

  • April 27, 2007, 4:39 p.m. CST

    the new toys?

    by RokurGepta

    anyone checked out the new toys? Are they cool? are they plastic or diecast metal? can they transform? please tell me now!!

  • April 27, 2007, 4:40 p.m. CST

    sevenrivera needs a muthafuckin life ...

    by Lamerz

    Seriously ... "I hate you Michael Bay with all of my soul." ???<P> What the fuck is wrong with you? There might some other more important shit in the world than Michael Bay and Transformers. And the He-Man quote? What the fuck? TF fuckin ownz He-Man. <P> Muthafuckin Thundercats ownz He-Man too. Seriously, when are we getting a movie about man-cats and the eye of Thundera??? Who's gonna play the hot Cheetah?

  • April 27, 2007, 4:40 p.m. CST

    anyone seen the...

    by RokurGepta

    video on the net, of the leader of the gobots getting gang raped? it's hilarious.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:40 p.m. CST

    It's not a plant. Bay doesn't need plants he

    by superninja

    has acolytes.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:41 p.m. CST

    actually I Dont but did you hear this

    by Phategod1

    Bay is actually directing the commercial something he was made for. The real reason I hope this movie flops is I hope Bay makes a TV series Like McG and Ratner I so do enjoy Supernatural and Prison Break maybe he's be more apt in the small screen.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:43 p.m. CST

    I found it, I found it

    by RokurGepta

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07-Qfo_JNHY

  • April 27, 2007, 4:43 p.m. CST

    Whats wrong with nipple on batsuit?

    by Napoleon Park

    shumacher just confirmed Dr. wertham's allegations that the Wayne/Grayson relationship was obviously homoerotic and it wasn't like no Batman artist had ever drawn the Batman costume with a wrinkle or a shadow to indicate the location of the nipples. I've told my friends this repeatedly, so I'll go on record here with it too. I had no problem with nipples on batman and Robin - my complaint with that underated and hilarious film was that there were no nipples on the Batgirl costume. *** Transformers doesn't matter [to me], it's a kids cartoon based on a toy, like Rom or Micronauts. But Seinkiewicz painted up some nice covers for a few issues of the Marvel comic version. *** And what's really wrong with a vehicle intended to blend in and look natural in its disguise mode having some custom paint work? It's not like the robot had a Frazetta "Death Dealer" spray painted on his side door and a "Don't come knockin'" sticker on its ass. *** It's been so long since high school English class, I forget. Is it "Kick assery" or "Ass Kickery"? Well, as long as Megan Fox is asstastic and this movie is kickasstastic, my buddy Ando will be happy.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:44 p.m. CST

    S-Mart Shopper - LA RAZA BORRACHO?

    by Lamerz

    that is all ...

  • April 27, 2007, 4:44 p.m. CST

    HAHA the fucking lamos are pissing there pants

    by bongo123

    because fuck me they might actually like it even though it they arnt G1 fucking lookylikes or that megatron isnt a fucking gun or that michael bay can actually direct action scenes like no one else on the planet... hahaha, see you losers on opening night if mummy lets you outa the basement or if you can put down your fucking toys for long enough and go see a FUCKING SUMMER POPCORN MOVIE ABOUT BLOODY ROBOTS AND GET IT OUTA YOUR STUPID HEADS THAT IT AINT NO FUCKING GLADIATOR AND ENJOY IT FOR WHAT IT IS...

  • April 27, 2007, 4:44 p.m. CST

    if Bay made a tv show for Fox

    by RokurGepta

    they would cancel it

  • April 27, 2007, 4:44 p.m. CST

    "MICHAEL FUCKING BAY was in the house! Right then I...

    by -guyinthebackrow

    ... knew what was up and I thought I was gonna SHIT!" Who writes like that? Seriously?

  • April 27, 2007, 4:45 p.m. CST

    michael bay is a way better

    by batmanthehorse

    michael bay is a way better director than that douche that made underworld or that guy that made x-men 3. in fact, there are at least a hundred directors that michael bay is better than. He's smart, funny, attractive, and a philantripist.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:48 p.m. CST

    Napoleon Park - fuck your bat nipples, stick em up ur

    by Lamerz

    ass. You just wanted George Clooney to stick his thang in the other guy that played Robin. Underrated? More like Abortion. Batman and Robin was ass... not Jessica Alba fine ass, but 500 pound cottage cheese wrinkled ass.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:50 p.m. CST

    KNEE PADS for this BAY FAN!

    by apolo_sputnik

    This reviewer is a dip shit. 1. Transformers is not a comedy. 2. You CANNOT be a Michael Bay fan AND a Transformers fan. Bay has said himself numerous times that he is NOT a fan. Judging by the screen play and the robot designs, it's obvious. You cannot be a transformers fan if you think any of the designs are cool. 3. Anyone who ends a review with: "There are some things that you may shake your head at or roll your eyes during, but when you see the goods, the stuff WE ALL want to see, you let the other stuff slide. Or at least I did." That's a nice way of saying I will like the shit I see no matter what because I cannot wait to give Bay a BJ. 4. If you honestly can name 1 good Bay film, then, you just have no credibility. 5. OH my GOD! I SAW MICHAEL BAY! Yea. Woo-fucking-hoo. I think we should give him knee pads for his next Michael Bay encounter. And finally, anyone who prefers the SUNS over the LAKERS is just a FUCKTARD.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:51 p.m. CST

    This shit just got real

    by sevenrivera

    Lamerz I wasn't directly quoting He-Man, I was making a reference to Hot Fuzz wherein they make great use of the phrase. And yes, I hate Michael Bay with all my soul. I hate what he has done to American filmmaking. I hate what he's most assuredly done to Transformers - source material that in the right hands could have been amazing. I also hate taxes, hippies and spoiled little rich kids. My soul has a vast capacity for hate. I feel it flowing through me and right now it's all directed towards Michael Bay and a movie about a giant robot getting yelled at by some stupid bitch because he steps on her flowers. So fuck you Michael Bay.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:51 p.m. CST

    Kurzinski Valentine - Why call it Transformers?

    by Lamerz

    Maybe because they fucking transform? Why else? Whether or not the execution is up to par is irrelevant. They do in fact Transform into shit.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:53 p.m. CST

    There will never be an event films to match Star wars

    by emeraldboy

    or Lord of the rings ever again. the build up. The Anticipation. the buzz, secrecy surrounding the movie. Lord of the rings and the star wars saga were once in a life time movies and the like of Star Wars will never happen again. The hobbit will disappoint because people will say Jackson should have made this and not raimi. I am not sure what interest if any there will be for indy 4 or even die hard 4 for that matter. There are very few directors worthy of the crown left by Cecil B de mille or DW griffith. The only film that came close to being a one off epic was gladiator, great acting, great script. great looking film. IN the mid 90's most of the really talented writers, left hollywood and ended up on tv and now hollywood is reaping the whirlwind of that consequence. About the only director who is creative enough in hollywood these days brad bird and he is an animator. My message to studios would be to invest in animation and to do it properly becuase live action movies are all dying. but dont take my word for it ask the bay haters/system hater.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:53 p.m. CST

    you know i can tell it's a plant?

    by jedimindflayer

    he's a bay supporter

  • April 27, 2007, 4:53 p.m. CST

    I wish the director of Requiem for a Dream

    by RokurGepta

    would have made Transformers

  • April 27, 2007, 4:54 p.m. CST

    sevenrivera - fucking anger issues! damn!

    by Lamerz

    Repeat after me ... "It's just a movie. Giant robots are not real. I will focus on the positive things in my life, not Michael Bay"

  • April 27, 2007, 4:55 p.m. CST

    Kurzinski Valentine

    by Galva

    TRUTH.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:55 p.m. CST

    you're all LOSERS

    by captainCAPSLOCK

    either you're seeing it or you ain't. quit wasting your life typing shit nobody cares about.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:57 p.m. CST

    captainCAPSLOCK...

    by Err

    if you didn't care about it, you wouldn't have commented on it.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:57 p.m. CST

    Kurzinski Valentine - uh, no it's not the same ...

    by Lamerz

    The guy sitting there picking his nose is not super. That is, unless he has a low powered laser beam coming out of his finger that incinerates all the boogers in his nose, and his skin is impervious to damage so the inside of his nose doesn't get damaged by his finger-laser.

  • April 27, 2007, 4:59 p.m. CST

    Lamerz

    by Err

    Maybe he gets a super-bloody nose?

  • April 27, 2007, 5 p.m. CST

    captainCAPSLOCK - quit wasting YOUR life reading

    by Lamerz

    this shit written by these fucking LOSERS that piss you off.

  • April 27, 2007, 5:02 p.m. CST

    Let's see how similar the reaction would be if...

    by Galva

    ... Micheal Bay adapted Batman, or Spider-Man, or X-Men- other properties created for the sole purpose of separating children from their money. I get the feeling that the "WOO HE BLOW SHIT UP REEL GOOD!" people would change their tune very quickly when Spider-Man swings by on his rope-gun wearing a Robin mask, with his body covered in a tribal-style spider webbing tattoo.

  • April 27, 2007, 5:06 p.m. CST

    Whatever dude

    by sevenrivera

    If you have even half a brain and you care about movies at all then shit like this has to get you fired up. A fucktard like Michael Bay is given a huge budget to essentially do all that he can to piss on our heads and dumb down America, one idiot like this "reviewer" at a time. That's why you see guys like Superninja, Messi, Yackbacker, et al. posting again and again every time a new level of this giant shitberg is revealed. Because it pisses them off just as it pisses me off. Idiots keep buying into it with excuses like, "it's a popcorn movie" "it's michael bay and giant robots blowing shit up!" but they don't ask for anything more than that. You can have action and still have quality. Just expect the studios to try harder and hold them accountable. Michael Bay doesn't think much of his audience and more and more I realize why not. Why put in the effort when they'll like any piece of shit he puts out there and make excuses for his incompetence. He can bang models and do drugs instead of worrying about things like characterization, plot or subtlety. I'll probably see this shitbag, but I won't be paying for it. I may download it or just wait for it to show up on cable. Fuck you Bay.

  • April 27, 2007, 5:08 p.m. CST

    we all know, that no matter what, we're all gonna

    by RokurGepta

    go see that movie. <p> and personally if I go in expecting a movie to be supercalafragalistickly fantastic, I generally end up being disapointed. But if I go in expecting the movie to kinda suck, I wind up actually liking the movie. I know I can't be the only one that happens to. As for Michael Bay, I'd say %78 percent of his movies rock the party that rocks the party. So until we actually watch this movie for ourselves, who knows what wonderful or sucktacularness we will be presented with. Forget about the review above. Have patience. Also, I don't see what some people have against Shia, I think he's a decent actor, and I like most of his films a whole lot. Holes-Awesome movie, great for kids, families, maybe even a good date movie. Battle of Shaker Heights- Fantastic, I heart that movie. The Greatest Game Ever Played- Really decent Flick. I,Robot-Not half bad. Constantine-I Loved it, wish Shia had had a bigger part.

  • April 27, 2007, 5:11 p.m. CST

    Bay and Lorenzo love the fish lips on Prime

    by jegoing74

    TINO! FINO! MINO! Flamimus Prime and his good for nothing fish lips is a travesty. The one character who had his fucking face blown off implied mind you and Mikey boy puts lips on prime. Son of a bitch!

  • April 27, 2007, 5:12 p.m. CST

    How the hell does one...

    by Galva

    Put spaces into their replies? Every time I type a space between paragraphs, it never shows up in the post...

  • April 27, 2007, 5:15 p.m. CST

    Where do you get TINO t-shirts?

    by S-Mart shopper

  • April 27, 2007, 5:16 p.m. CST

    Comments on the "review" and Talkback...

    by Pan_Krator

    1: *COUGH* plant *COUGH*. -- 2: Michael Bay gotta eat... not much, though. -- 3: I'm worried about the possibility that plants are infiltrating the Talkbacks. It would not be good for anyone. -- 4: The Transformers are DOLLS (sorry, "action figures")... are that many grown men really all that worked up over a bunch of dolls? You rarely see Barbie & Ken fans get this agitated...

  • April 27, 2007, 5:18 p.m. CST

    RokurGepta...

    by Galva

    ... I've watched both Catwoman and a 10 minute chunk of White Chicks. That doesn't mean that those movies "won" and it sure as hell doesn't suggest any quality. It simply means that a studio pumped millions upon millions of dollars into promoting massive, steaming piles of celluloid, and so TV networks eagerly await the day that they can buy them, chop them up, and put them on tv to take up space in the schedule so that people who don't have anything better to do (me) can watch for free while making a sandwitch or doing dishes. I knew I'd someday see Catwoman- that doesn't make it good in the least.

  • April 27, 2007, 5:19 p.m. CST

    Does they really think we're that stupid?

    by Immortal_Fish

    I can't see anyone writing a review like this other than Leia "Laser Index Fingers" LeBoushh herself.<P>From a cornucopia of allegedly bad decisions, the only gripe is Optimus's lips? Nothing else? Not even a mention of Joe Don Baker or Dane Cook? Shit, even my most favorite movies have flaws in them that I can describe in some margin of detail. This review is awful. Just awful.<P>I can understand the studio (or whomever is responsible for this totally whacked review) believing general audiences to be naive at best, but AICN TalkBack? Not even the heavy-handed FF bashing could save this review from cries of "PLANT!"

  • April 27, 2007, 5:20 p.m. CST

    Pan_Krator

    by Galva

    You have no idea what you're talking about.

  • April 27, 2007, 5:21 p.m. CST

    How do fat kids do chest bumps in narrow movie aisles?

    by Immortal_Fish

    It defies the laws of physics.

  • April 27, 2007, 5:21 p.m. CST

    Written as if a plant read "Guide to the AICN Talkback"

    by JackPumpkinhead

    So it's probably real.

  • April 27, 2007, 5:22 p.m. CST

    Dolls???

    by livrule

    LOL ....

  • April 27, 2007, 5:27 p.m. CST

    Re: "Does they really think we're that stupid?"

    by Lando Griffin

    Yes, yes they does.

  • April 27, 2007, 5:31 p.m. CST

    Since Optimus speaks "iconic lines"...

    by Immortal_Fish

    ...why no confirmation as to whether or not one of them is, "Autobots, transform and roll out"...?<P>Does Megs refer to Optimus as merely "Prime"...?<P>Oh, I know... early screening and all. They must still be working on it. Besides, diehard fans of the series would be much more interested in knowing of teasers such as his "sword arm" instead of him actually reciting some of the classic stuff. ::eyeroll::

  • April 27, 2007, 5:31 p.m. CST

    Don't let Lorenzo or Murphy near GI JOE

    by jegoing74

    The horror! The Horror! Hasbro owns joe lock stock and barrel, be wise hasbro just say no joe to hollywood hacks.

  • April 27, 2007, 5:32 p.m. CST

    We're not haters.

    by Gozu

    We're just right.

  • April 27, 2007, 5:32 p.m. CST

    And what about the Chihuahua?

    by Immortal_Fish

    Yeah, I wanna know. Does Ironhide screw that pooch or what?

  • April 27, 2007, 5:34 p.m. CST

    Lando Griffin

    by Immortal_Fish

    I intended to write a longer subject line, but ran into the limit, tweaked it, and forgot to change 'does' to 'do'. Have your lawyer contact mine!

  • April 27, 2007, 5:35 p.m. CST

    S_Mart, if you find them, let me know.

    by finky089

    Guess I could make some on Zazzle.com ???

  • April 27, 2007, 5:36 p.m. CST

    TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO!

    by finky089

    TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! <p> did Ganymede2010 write that review?

  • April 27, 2007, 5:36 p.m. CST

    TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO!

    by finky089

    TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! <p> did Ganymede2010 write that review?

  • April 27, 2007, 5:38 p.m. CST

    Smokin' Megan Fox.. check Giant F'ing Robots.. check

    by bentmywookie

    The whole script could be Ms. Fox in a wet t-shirt reading the phone book while sitting in front of cars transforming into giant building-smashing robots and I would still love this movie. The freakin' out start NOW!

  • April 27, 2007, 5:38 p.m. CST

    "Does Ironhide screw that pooch or what?"

    by Galva

    ... now THERE'S a TF movie I'd pay to see.

  • April 27, 2007, 5:41 p.m. CST

    Galva

    by Immortal_Fish

    You'll have to be satisfied with Bay screwing the pooch until the sequel!

  • April 27, 2007, 5:42 p.m. CST

    BA-ZING

    by Galva

    Immortal_Fish wins. Fatality.

  • April 27, 2007, 5:42 p.m. CST

    Bay is such a LIAR!!

    by Redfive!

    Optimus doesnt have lips,that was an english prototype commercial.Its clearly this guy cant be trusted and I hope I have the same feeling seeing it as this dude did.I really doubt I will though.

  • April 27, 2007, 5:46 p.m. CST

    This reviewer is dumber than the movie.

    by Barry Egan

    That is all.

  • April 27, 2007, 5:47 p.m. CST

    Why are people expecting so much from this movie?

    by bongo123

    Cant you get fucking past it for christs sake, its made, its michael bay who gives a fuck, so its big robots blowing up, its hardly going to be a fucking oscar winning movie with that sorta premise. All these people wanting this to be shawshank redemption type quality but with robots need to wise up, its about transforming vehicles based on an 80's cartoon, the whole idea is silly so the only way to make it half way beleivable is to make it a spectale, a feast for the eyes which going by the review and the trailers, is one hell of a fucking eyewank... leave your so called iconic two dimensional boxey cartoons from your fucking childhood in the place they should be... your fucking memory and just sit back and enjoy some ROBOTS BLOWING SHIT UP

  • April 27, 2007, 5:50 p.m. CST

    That new Camaro kicks ass

    by DARTH VOODOO

    Bumble Bee (2009 Camaro)is a sweet looking ride. It is much better looking than the new Mustang.

  • April 27, 2007, 5:50 p.m. CST

    Bongo123...

    by Galva

    ... in that case I guess I should have loved the living shit out of the Shaft classic STEEL, is that right?

  • April 27, 2007, 5:50 p.m. CST

    Classic Plant stuff

    by CorpseRide

    Including leading off with a list of focus-grouped talking points, casually adressing/dismissing the various things people expect to suck about this movie. Oh, and including one very very slight criticism for 'balance'.<p> I'm surprised he didn't just go ahead and say "What I really liked was the design of 'Mega Tron', much better than it looked on paper - you have to see it on the big screen to really appreciate how good it is." Or maybe "There was one thing I disliked - too much time spent showing massive robots fighting, not enough time spent showing Shia's problems at home".<p> In conclusion, this movie sounds like a Bit Torrent for curiosity's sake.

  • April 27, 2007, 5:51 p.m. CST

    I'll be honest...

    by Darth Thoth

    I couldn't tell if he was a plant or not. Half the time I thought he was. The other half he sounded legit. Listen, I'm a die hard Transformers fan from day one and I've been holding my breath on this movie but I'll be honest, that review got me SOUPED! Oh boy! Now I really can't wait to see what Bay has done. This should be good/ interesting!

  • April 27, 2007, 5:54 p.m. CST

    Why are people expecting so Little from this movie

    by Phategod1

    What happened to character developement a plot that makes sense Or did I fall into a alternate dimension where Masters of the Universe was a good movie? If people want to see robot BLOWING SHIT UP they could watch robot jox or Robot wars. Is it too much to ask for a movie to at least be on par with spiderman with character developement.

  • April 27, 2007, 5:57 p.m. CST

    phategod, im not sure you count as a part of the group

    by moondoggy2u

    at least, the ones from the very very start of this. Then again, I do seem to recall you being here pretty early. Ah, crap in a hat, you're in, son, here's a lawn chair and a beer for you, too;)

  • April 27, 2007, 5:58 p.m. CST

    A: "Megatron"

    by Immortal_Fish

    Q: "What do you get when you feed the dog tinsel off the tree?"

  • April 27, 2007, 6:01 p.m. CST

    Michael Bay is a god

    by MrJJonz

    He takes 'popcorn' movies to the next level. Hey, who here can argue against the brilliance of summer blockbusters like The Island, Pearl Harbour, Armageddon, The Rock, and the most brilliant Bad Boys 2. Everyone loved that and we all freely admit it. All everyone wants to see is Big robots fucking shit up. None of us care about about plot and characters like what happened in that turgid mess that is Spiderman that made money, although fuck knows how. Who needs that shit when I'm chewing down popcorn and only have half an eye on the screen because it is almost secondary to the snacks. Hell I just want to chew popcorn really loudly so I can't hear any dialogue and all I can hear is explosions.<P>I'm sure the likes of Smart Shopper and Superninja wholeheartedly agree

  • April 27, 2007, 6:01 p.m. CST

    Not a plant but it's obvious that he hasn't...

    by RadWon

    seen the flick either. This guy's fails on three levels; 1.) If you go back and read the 'review' you can tell that this guy never saw the flick only what was in the trailers or in the news. Ex. when they go to buy the car BB with the Autobots logo on the steering wheel and everybody has seen the desert scene and the news article about the flaming lips on OP. 2.) Either he's pandering to the 13-year olds, not 28 or an immature 28-year old. I don't know too many 20-year olds that talk like this. I believe he's just pandering to the 13-year olds for credibility. Yeah, his spelling and grammar sux too but this is the internet. If you haven't come to live with it yet, you've got alot of frustration ahead of you 3.) He totally loves Michael Bay. Sorry I just don't buy this. I haven't met a geek yet that loves Michael Bay like this guy so sure it looks like he's a plant. If it was Cameron, Scott, Speilburg or (groan) Lucas I could understand but not Michael Bay. He has a poor track record to date and can't see how anyone would become one of his groupies unless they are simply looking for attention for being different (and stupid). Learn how to juggle or do magic tricks. I don't know why he would do this unless he wants you to think he's a plant. Which he conveniently tells you at the beginning of his review. The only thing thing this guy suck-ceeded in doing is getting you to think he was a plant and that he is a tool.

  • April 27, 2007, 6:02 p.m. CST

    And c'mon Bay fans back me up on this

    by MrJJonz

    don't make me stand alone like a chump

  • April 27, 2007, 6:02 p.m. CST

    Immortal Fish

    by Lando Griffin

    I was just goofing - no venom meant sir. But you can tell your lawyer that I'll be repping myself - fool for a client and all.

  • April 27, 2007, 6:02 p.m. CST

    Galva, re: STEEL

    by Immortal_Fish

    Leia LeBoushh is my generation's version of Judd Nelson. Can't believe we bought into that guy as a high school bully. Can't believe he was used as a villain in Steel. Oh, wait...! Yes I can.

  • April 27, 2007, 6:02 p.m. CST

    Never shoulda been made.

    by Rikrik the White

    This is one of those concepts that works as a cartoon, but as a live action piece is going to come off as crappy and campy no matter who directs and no matter how good the effects are. Will not see it.

  • April 27, 2007, 6:03 p.m. CST

    The only reason

    by papabendi

    I'm going to see a fucking Transformers movie is because Megan Fox makes me want to shoot man goo like a spray can shoots silly string. She was in an episode of Two And A Half Men that warrents taping and repeated viewing. Even the fat kid looks like he about to bust his first nut.

  • April 27, 2007, 6:05 p.m. CST

    Lando

    by Immortal_Fish

    I find your reply to be... TOO VENOMY!!

  • April 27, 2007, 6:06 p.m. CST

    Say...

    by Dollar Bird

    Where is Yackbacker, anyway? Did I miss him or has he gone into Transformers seclusion again? (Or maybe he just has better things to do than this.)

  • April 27, 2007, 6:08 p.m. CST

    O.N.I.T.

    by Lando Griffin

    Only Name In Transformers

  • April 27, 2007, 6:10 p.m. CST

    Yack and I are busy playing tiddley winks

    by moondoggy2u

    and he is kicking my ass!!

  • April 27, 2007, 6:11 p.m. CST

    Regardless...

    by RadWon

    of whether Michael Bay sux, the reviewer is a plant or Optimus Prime has Angelina Jolie lips, we're all going to see this flick. It's the Transformers. Don't believe anything til your ass is planted in front of the screen munching on a box of $15 popcorn.

  • April 27, 2007, 6:11 p.m. CST

    Also...

    by Dollar Bird

    This line from the review needs attention called to it: "It feels like this is the first time where he decided to embrace some elements of cheese and run with it. I am glad he did."

  • April 27, 2007, 6:12 p.m. CST

    Megan Fox

    by Immortal_Fish

    At some point you (or should I write "you'll") reach an age when the molten lava babes are only fun to look at as opposed to lusting/yearning over. Take this one, for instance. Fucking Megan would last only so long. Can you imagine what life is like during those in-between moments? Wouldn't be worth the trade, IMO. Just imagine how she would taste. Chick must have scored enough Marlboro miles to buy the entire catalog.

  • April 27, 2007, 6:14 p.m. CST

    Dollar Bird

    by Immortal_Fish

    Suddenly I'm peckish for animal crackers and I dunno why...

  • April 27, 2007, 6:15 p.m. CST

    Anyone seen my right arm

    by MrJJonz

    It's called Deus Vult.<P>My left arm Dick Nicely is also missing. <P>I offer rewards

  • April 27, 2007, 6:15 p.m. CST

    GRIMLOCK SAY....

    by wackybantha

    .....ME WANT MOVIE WATCH NOW!!! AND ME BETTER BE IN SEQUEL!!! GGGRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • April 27, 2007, 6:16 p.m. CST

    ME GRIMLOCK HAPPY!!!

    by wackybantha

    ME GRIMLOCK EAT POP...CORN!!!

  • April 27, 2007, 6:17 p.m. CST

    If you hate the direction, yet still want to see this..

    by Immortal_Fish

    Just remember to see it AFTER the first weekend. Cannot stress this enough. By all means, see the flick, but send a message. See it AFTER opening weekend. You can wait seven days.

  • April 27, 2007, 6:19 p.m. CST

    Michael Bay didn't invent the High Concept

    by jegoing74

    Don Simpson had a hand in its creation. Michael Bay is like a wannabe Tony Scott.

  • April 27, 2007, 6:22 p.m. CST

    This Reviewer will now be known as LIPTIMUS PLANT

    by MaulRat

    I will celebrate my post by getting some ribs, and squeezing my wifes 30,000 dollar new fake boobies. YAY!!

  • April 27, 2007, 6:27 p.m. CST

    THIS REVIEW WAS MADE BY PLANT-PEOPLE!

    by hadez

    holed up in a room at the movie studios. FUCK the lips on Optimus, and FUCK this PLANT!

  • April 27, 2007, 6:30 p.m. CST

    seeing it after the opening weekend

    by Dollar Bird

    Also, consider how easily one can "just never get around to seeing the movie" if you miss it opening weekend. You get caught up in other stuff, other movies, gardening, playing tiddlywinks and eating animal crackers, watching reruns on UHF channels. Life goes on and you never did see Transformers. Oh well. ... Personally, I can't wait to see how folks like AO Scott review this thing; I'm sick of geek reviews.

  • April 27, 2007, 6:32 p.m. CST

    i will respond ONLY ONCE

    by captainCAPSLOCK

    normally i just post something stupid and go about my merry way. usually i come back and see somebody going "captainCAPSLOCK blah blah blah", but i don't read it. i just laugh that ppl take the time to respond. this time i did read the replies and sadly they did not live up to the talkback vitriol that amuses me. at any rate, i didn't read any of the talkbacks for this story. i just put in my superfluous comment for the hell of it. i used to read Transformers talkbacks. being a Transformers fan and all it made sense at first. and it was really fun in the beginning, especially with the whole Megatron gnashing pussy mouth. but it's not fun anymore. you have to wade through too much whining to get to any funny talkbacks. and that makes me sad, because i am helpless. i cannot fight LIPS ON OPTIMUS, the damage is done. i even bleached a skull and crossbones on my favorite Autobot symbol shirt with the epitaph: 'R.I.P. 1984-2007' back to my alcohol.

  • April 27, 2007, 6:32 p.m. CST

    MaulRat, $30K?

    by Immortal_Fish

    No kidding. Had no idea those things carried such a price tag. Wow! My wife's 36DD's were free, but it came at the additional cost of her 140lbs or so.<P>((Not that I have a problem with that. I kinda dig the wider carriage and Meganless Foxless nonsmoking baggage that comes with it.))

  • April 27, 2007, 6:38 p.m. CST

    DIRECT QUOTE FROM BAY WHICH MAY EXPLAIN THE FLAMES!

    by Err

    [on "Transformers"] "Well, it's just, you know, listen, it's like...I didn't want to make the boxy characters, you know? Think about it, 30 feet in the air in the real world, just boxes, you know and it'd just look more fake, you know? And by adding more doo-dads, you know, stuff on the...stuff. Stuff on the robots, more car parts, and...you know you can just make it look more real." Shut the hell up, Bay. You're trying to make transforming cars and other vehicles of transportation into giant robots from another planet more real? Just stop.

  • April 27, 2007, 6:42 p.m. CST

    S_Mart here you go- "TINO!: The Shirt"

    by finky089

    http://tinyurl.com/362bou

  • April 27, 2007, 6:43 p.m. CST

    wheres the reviewer in the TB?

    by Cedar_Room

    if indeed this person is a long time listener (I think he must have meant reader) of this site, knowing how much flak it had already generated, knowing that a positive review will automatically result in cries of PLANT! - shouldn't he be on here arguing his credentials? telling the "haters" to go fuck their sisters etc? The very fact he isn't has me suspicious. Suspicious I tells ya. On another note - who are these people who will go to a big summer blockbuster even if its shit, just because there are posters for it everywhere and some other people they know have been to see it??? If a film is shit, and all the reviews say so - I DON'T GO. Regardless of how well it is being promoted or discussed! What on earth are these people thinking? As for Transformers itself - I'm a child of the 80's, I had Transformers toys - but for fucks sake I grew up! This is not something to get all precious over it was just a silly animated toy commercial. My prediction for this film? Yes of course it will have huge spectacular awe-inspiring action sequences. But it will also have god-awful cheese spewing implausible characters doing cringe-inducingly awful things that will overshadow all the good stuff and just make you wish they would die. Just like every other Michael Bay film. End of.

  • April 27, 2007, 6:44 p.m. CST

    Michael Bay quote?

    by Heresy

    Is that really a Bay quote? It reads more like a quote from a semi-retarded 8-year old with severe head trauma.

  • April 27, 2007, 6:44 p.m. CST

    All I really want to know is...

    by RokurGepta

    Are there energon cubes?

  • April 27, 2007, 6:46 p.m. CST

    Hersey...

    by Err

    Source: IMDB - near the bottom of his trivia page.

  • April 27, 2007, 6:46 p.m. CST

    It's a shame

    by RadWon

    I have to agree with SevenRiviera on this one. I don't hate Bay with all my soul because I have better things to do with my soul but it's guys like Michael Bay that give American MovieMaking a bad name regardless of how much of a 'popcorn movie' it is. Get real. To every James Cameron or Terry Gilliam there are a hundred Michael Bays that have a dream of making a 'Blockbuster' and that's sad. Sure we'll never see a Russians or European blockbuster but I hate the reputation America has for movies, especially when I see the words 'the Blockbuster Hit' before the title. We're supposed to set the standard and make people use their mind, not lower it just to sell tickets so everyone understand it. Now that I think about it - Screw you, Michael Bay! I hate you with all my soul!

  • April 27, 2007, 6:46 p.m. CST

    I meant Heresy (n/t)

    by Err

  • April 27, 2007, 6:48 p.m. CST

    Finky you crazy bastard

    by Phategod1

    I had to laugh out loud when i saw damn you micheal bay on the back

  • April 27, 2007, 6:49 p.m. CST

    There's so many...make them stop...

    by monkeytrousers

    ...dear god someone make them stop...too many Talkbacks...not enough time in the world to read them all...must see my wife and kids...no single activity in life should involve reading a seemingly endless list of bitching about nipples/lips/flames/Bay/plants/childhood's being raped.... for the love of god please make them stop...

  • April 27, 2007, 6:49 p.m. CST

    Mmmmm, chocolate

    by RadWon

    (gurgle, gurgle)

  • April 27, 2007, 6:50 p.m. CST

    Megatron and Optimus make out

    by iwontwin

    I hate it, just give him a normal optimus prime voice. And fuck the lips, his mouth guard was amazing. Megatron and Optimus have lips so they can make out, im just sayin....

  • April 27, 2007, 6:51 p.m. CST

    Another TINO! shirt

    by finky089

    http://tinyurl.com/2pppfg

  • April 27, 2007, 6:54 p.m. CST

    Hey look at me

    by MrJJonz

    I asked for Michael Bay fans to back me when I defended him and none did. What the hell happened to them

  • April 27, 2007, 6:59 p.m. CST

    Here's one for ganymede

    by finky089

    http://www.zazzle.com/product/235570361966912093

  • April 27, 2007, 7:03 p.m. CST

    Who has a prettier mouth

    by Phategod1

    Optimus Prime Megatron Shai Lahbouf or Ned Beatty

  • April 27, 2007, 7:06 p.m. CST

    Phategod1, I only wish I had thought of it sooner

    by finky089

    I just can't decide which one to do next: a poofy white cloud with a caption that says "Here comes Galactus!" <p> "Fantastic Four 2: TOO SILVER!" with a pic of the FF insignia (the 4 in a circle) <p> or a shirt that says nothing but <p> "This is gonna be better than two 15-yr old fat kids bumping chests!" with an Autobot insignia.

  • April 27, 2007, 7:07 p.m. CST

    Beatty!

    by finky089

    I saw Deliverance.

  • April 27, 2007, 7:09 p.m. CST

    sounds way fake and Plantlike

    by Rupee88

    The whole tone of the "review" is so clearly fake and contrived...just pathetic and transparent.

  • April 27, 2007, 7:11 p.m. CST

    nice verses that "insider" had

    by finky089

    At least I'm only making dumb t-shirts to amuse myself...

  • April 27, 2007, 7:14 p.m. CST

    This is going to be downloaded

    by Doc_Strange

    Yes I'm going to download this out of pure SPITE. Thats right. It's not enough that the studio doesn't make money off me but I want to make them lose money on this. Go ahead, flame me, it won't do you any good. FUCK THIS MOVIE.

  • April 27, 2007, 7:14 p.m. CST

    How about

    by Phategod1

    Micheal Bay "raping childhoods one memory at a time" or "My Penis your Childhood" or "I'm with Phartegoddprime"

  • April 27, 2007, 7:19 p.m. CST

    I just saw the "Venom" trailer alls I can is fuck yeah

    by Phategod1

    Wow thats respect

  • April 27, 2007, 7:20 p.m. CST

    Time to step in...

    by Specktron

    Here's a fire in the hole. Transformers eats the big one. It's gonna be this year's Thunderbirds. Loved the cartoon...WHEN I WAS TEN!!! Agree on Bay sucking the hairy root though, and the "28-year-old" was a plant. So obvious it burns. D.I.S.C.U.S.S. ROBOT JOCKEYS.

  • April 27, 2007, 7:20 p.m. CST

    Where can I find out

    by RokurGepta

    Where can I find out definatively which shows have been canceled, or renewed? And when their supposed new season starts Shows I want to know about.. <p> <p> 1. Smallville <p> 2. Supernatural <p> 3. October Road <p> 4. Jericho <p> 5. Heroes <p> 6. Criminal Minds <p> 7. Friday Night Lights <p> 8. Dead Zone <p> 9. 4400 <p> When Does Battlestar Galactica start it's next season>? I heard it was some time in 2008

  • April 27, 2007, 7:26 p.m. CST

    Kurzinksi, that quote is priceless

    by finky089

    maybe i'll use it on another t-shirt next week. Zazzle seems to be having some probalems right now.

  • April 27, 2007, 7:28 p.m. CST

    phate, I'll tackle it Monday

    by finky089

    or give it a try yourself if you feel so inclined...www.zazzle.com

  • April 27, 2007, 7:30 p.m. CST

    Fuck you MCMLXXVI

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    And fuck you to the morons who are bitching about a movie that is based on a toy line. You have no basis for any of the bitching. If it was a movie that was being made on something like a cherished comic book superhero, I'd be with you. If was a movie based on a legendary novel, I'd have your back. But this is a movie based on a cartoon that was based on fucking TOYS! So all you whiners look like tools. This movie is going to be 100% mindless fun just like the cartoon. Nothing more. It's robots blowing the fuck out of things. That's it. Nothing deep or mysterious about it. You can take your argument about the mythology and butt fuck each other in fanboy hysteria while you download the movie. We all know though that most of you who are whining will have your ass planted in a theater seat on opening day and will love each and every minute of watching live action robots kicking ass. You will come here on here after seeing it and even if you liked it you will complain but deep down you will have loved every single minute of it and nothing you can say will make me think otherwise. Get over it, it's a movie base on a toy line and it's going to own you on July 4th.

  • April 27, 2007, 7:32 p.m. CST

    Oh, the Venom trailer- KICK ASS

    by finky089

    seriously, I'm so unimpressed with TINO these days, but SM3 is gonna top them all for me this summer. Despite what some of the early reviews have said, I like what I've seen and can't wait until next Friday. <p> Headin' home. Have a good one, gents!

  • April 27, 2007, 7:38 p.m. CST

    FUCK YOU, AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    by Dorothys Taint Again

    I was with Dorothy when she landed over the rainbow. I've seen your two-bit shenanigans and you're nothing but a gutless, yellow hack. <p> MCMLXXVI makes a lot less noise on this site with his one-line posts than you did with your ridiculously defensive post. Out of curiosity, how does "a comic book hero" really differ from a cartoon figure anyway? Is it the animation that draws the line? <p> You know what, don't answer. That was a rhetorical question and you are supposed to see the irony in it, but I figure I'd need to explain it to someone as dense as yourself. Just sit back, shut up, and enjoy your "mindless" movie. I do the same when I read "mindless" posts like yours.

  • April 27, 2007, 7:40 p.m. CST

    AllPowerfulWizardOfOz, forgot one thing-

    by Dorothys Taint Again

    getting "owned" is so 3 years ago. Conjure up some new fuckin verbage, oh mighty Wizard. <p> Oh wait, I forgot you can't because the Wizaard's a big phoney. <p> Hey look everybody, this guy's a big phoney!

  • April 27, 2007, 7:41 p.m. CST

    AllPowerfulWizardofOz

    by Err

    I complain about Bay based on past films that he has made. I base his idiocy off the quotes he gives. However, I vow and promise and will sign over my soul to anyone who wants it that if Michael Bay makes a good (doesn't have to be great), but a good Transformers film, I will be on here and admit that I was wrong. Am I gonna be seeing Transformers? Yes. Why? Well, I'm a movie buff. I give every film the benefit of the doubt from Gigli to The Godfather. By the way, just because it's based off of a toyline does not mean that Transformers doesn't have a canon. Just because a show was developed around a toy doesn't mean that there can't be debates about what is or is not part of Transformers canon. So people are entitled to their bitching as much as you are entitled to bitching about people bitching as much as I am to bitching about you bitching about people's bitching. And just because some people complain about it doesn't mean that we hate everything about the film. I don't like Ben Affleck. I damn him every chance I get but I still went to see Daredevil. I don't like Tim Story's ability to direct but I still will go see FF2:ROTSS. This movie is now based on a toyline and a television show. To disregard the show is retarded and you sir are suggesting that we do that because this movie is based on just a toyline to you.

  • April 27, 2007, 7:42 p.m. CST

    Is Devastator in it?

    by tygrus2000

    its not a true transformers movie unless.

  • April 27, 2007, 7:49 p.m. CST

    Dorothys Taint Again, another senstive douchebag

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    Touch a nerve there jr? I guess maybe my post is not far from the truth since the retort on your end is actually the defensive one with irony fully in tact. <BR> <BR> So glad you enjoy my mindless posts fucktard, I feel so flattered you've taken the time to respond to one and create a new screen name in jest of mine. I wonder if you happen to be MCMLXXVI. <BR> <BR> Now please go back to bitching about the toy line that was made into a movie. It's oh so entertaining from this end. <BR> <BR> Oh, and go fuck yourself.

  • April 27, 2007, 7:50 p.m. CST

    I love transformers talkbacks....

    by seanny_d

    It's the closest thing the internet will get to an explosion.

  • April 27, 2007, 7:57 p.m. CST

    Michael Bay gotta

    by Stuntcock Mike

    cram as many 8 balls up his shnoz as possible.

  • April 27, 2007, 7:58 p.m. CST

    Err, I am not a Michael Bay fan.

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    I cannot stand any movie that guy has ever put out, period with the exception of The Island which honestly for what it was was not that bad as a DVD rental. Now the one area that Micheal Bay does shine is with his action sequences. No one can say that Bay does action badly because quite honestly he is one of the best. However most of his movies have lacked any human connection and contain terrible scripts and acting. <BR> <BR> With Transformers though I think he is the right guy. The main reason is the action scenes. I do not expect any great script from this movie. I except to be entertained at robots blowing shit up and from what I've seen from the trailers and heard from Harry and Quint about the sho-west footage it seems that is what we are in store for. <BR> <BR> I watched Transformers as a child. I owned and played with those toys. But I never felt any connection to any deep story line within the series. It's not like Star Trek where the canon is very sacred. We are talking about a show geared towards children and being made into a live action flick to tap into that base of children who grew up and now have kids of their own. The argument you make in my opinion of canon is not justified because the original series only had some basic plot and sub plot story lines and I am sure those will be followed in the movie and if they aren't I am not going to be crushed because it was nothing too deep to begin with. <BR> <BR> If the people who were complaining would just sit back and enjoy this movie for what is and what it's based on I bet they would have a great time. <BR> <BR> There is a huge HUGE difference between this and a movie based on a great novel or long time comic book hero who has deep canon and story line. Transformers has neither and that is where in the argument lies on my end.

  • April 27, 2007, 8:03 p.m. CST

    What?!

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    "He's smart, funny, attractive, and a philantripist."<P>What?!

  • April 27, 2007, 8:04 p.m. CST

    moondoggy2u

    by Stuntcock Mike

    phategod gotta eat!

  • April 27, 2007, 8:07 p.m. CST

    Got me some sweet sweet Papa Johns

    by Phategod1

    so im good.

  • April 27, 2007, 8:08 p.m. CST

    Comedy Gold

    by nemesisdarkside

    This TB is FRAKKING HILARIOUS!!!! Hahahahaha. Too funny!

  • April 27, 2007, 8:14 p.m. CST

    Phategod1

    by Stuntcock Mike

    golden

  • April 27, 2007, 8:14 p.m. CST

    Who goes to a movie with the intention of eating?

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Feeding on shit food? And why? I go see films, well not too much anymore since people lack common decency and can't shut the fuck up whilst the flim is running, to view a film. Never got that (the feeding and talking) and I never will. Seems I am one of those elitist pricks everyone pokes fun at. So be it. Home theaters are brilliant. So is Scotch. Oh, and this elitist didn't pay to see X3, FF, GR, SR, and a myriad of others. And I never will. I can't talk about how bad they were since I never saw them. I also saw Bad Boys and The Rock while in college. I learned my lesson twice. Lesson? Avoid movies "directed" by Michael Bay. TINO sounds just like the leaked draft script. Real smooth Speilberg/Hasbro/Murphy. Real smooth.

  • April 27, 2007, 8:18 p.m. CST

    Your realize don't you...

    by karnevil9

    the fact that harry has a picture deal with paramount makes this whole site a plant for anything paramount does. why do you think there has only been one review posted after just one day?

  • April 27, 2007, 8:19 p.m. CST

    but then again

    by karnevil9

    harry gotta eat... a lot.

  • April 27, 2007, 8:26 p.m. CST

    "geeks" love bay

    by batmanthehorse

    i think its plausible that film geeks can like michael bay. i don't know how you define film geek but if you thumb your nose or whatever at will smith and martin lawrence chasing a truck unleashing corpses at them or sean connery asking a guy he just dropped out a window how his bowling arm is then i don't know what to call you. its one thing to hate on his movies, but to be a snob about that shit is pretty weak. those are moments for film geeks. just because he has a quick editing style doesn't mean he should get grouped in with that term MTV-style. Bad Boys 2 has Henry fucking Rollins. That was an R rated movie-- the kind studios don't make anymore because PG-13 sells better. Bay is a lot less of a sell out then people think. In a year or so, you'll be begging for someone with Bay's talent to make a solid R rated film.

  • April 27, 2007, 8:26 p.m. CST

    Fuck me running

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Spaceballs is on. It's no Blazing Saddles, but it'll do in a pinch. Gotta go, back in 2 hours.

  • April 27, 2007, 8:28 p.m. CST

    That was a very non-spoilery review

    by photoboy

    That suggests it was a plant or someone who wants to pretend they've seen the film. At any rate, we all know it's going to be shit now that we've seen the robot designs, so there's no need for reviews.

  • April 27, 2007, 8:29 p.m. CST

    plus, you can't make a great tf movie because tf suck

    by batmanthehorse

    the only way you can make a good movie about a red truck with blue pants is if you blow a bunch of shit up bay style. Its too bad ben affleck didn't voice optimus prime because then the movie might have turned out ok.

  • April 27, 2007, 8:38 p.m. CST

    AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    There are over three hundred (300) issues of Transformers comics. Still going strong. How many issues does it take to create "deep canon and story line"?

  • April 27, 2007, 8:38 p.m. CST

    Haters?

    by Pawprint

    Shut the fuck up and watch it. Here is your precious live action toy commercial, and it's gonna make a fucking MINT this summer. Deal with it, or take your own lives you sad, lonely bitches. I can't wait to see this and have been stoked since the teaser trailer. Oh, and just for the record; the original cartoon smoked monkey pole - take off the rose-tinted specs.

  • April 27, 2007, 8:39 p.m. CST

    I hear ya wizard, problem is TF fanatifans

    by bongo123

    are so royally fucked in the head and cant see past there own G1 toys and have so much hatred for a guy theyve never even fucking met, anythin anyone normal has to say falls on deaf crackpot ears, these fucks cant seem to grasp the concept that the 80's cartoon was great when you were a kid but watchin them as an adult is pretty fucking unbearable except to the crazy fucks that piss there pants at the mere mention of MB, and the thing i love about it, is these cunts will be first in the queue lining there no. 1 enemies pocket with there hard earned pocket money... stupid fucks...

  • April 27, 2007, 8:42 p.m. CST

    Hey I saw it too..heres my review

    by slappy jones

    "It has everything you fans wanted. honestly. really truly....everything you might have been scared about sucking actually doesn;t because everything else is so good. it has all this action and explosions and honestly if you were looking forward to this you won;t be let down because it really is exactly like you dreamed it would be. truly. If you thought this film was going to be awesome then you won;t be let down because it is. it is awesome. honestly" -

  • April 27, 2007, 8:42 p.m. CST

    Wizard of Oz

    by And Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu

    Sure Transformers may not have as long of a history as other properties, but that is no reason to ignore the existing canon when adapting the property to another medium. First off, I'm not sure where this arbitrary cutoff is where a property becomes sacred, as opposed to the apparent default state of "who cares, just do whatever". Second, it makes no sense to alienate fans of the property by making such drastic changes that really serve no purpose. If the essence of the concept has been defined, then the adaptation should adhere to that essence. It doesn't really matter if the property was just conceived yesterday. The upcoming Bratz movie needs to follow this to be successful, just like anything else.

  • April 27, 2007, 8:43 p.m. CST

    oh by the way my review should be read

    by slappy jones

    in a very sarcastic tone to gets its full intention

  • April 27, 2007, 8:57 p.m. CST

    Pawprint

    by Lucasblows

    I love it when a guy like you comes in here calling people "sad, lonely bitches" when you too are writing on a Transformers board on a Friday night. And then you bitch about... bitching. Sounds like you have alot in common with the bitchers. Funny.

  • April 27, 2007, 9:02 p.m. CST

    More Important Than Robots...

    by FlamingPoultice

    Anyone who uses the phrase "geek chubby" should be chemically sterilized.<br> <br> And I don't mean by oral application.

  • April 27, 2007, 9:09 p.m. CST

    This year's Little Miss Shia Labeouf!

    by Forestal

    Kneel before Shia!

  • April 27, 2007, 9:17 p.m. CST

    RokurGepta, you should watch a little less TV

    by Bronx Cheer

    Seriously.

  • April 27, 2007, 9:20 p.m. CST

    Sacred property cutoff?

    by magnetoelectric

    Speaking as an ambassador to geekdom-Most properties that are sacred are originally based in literature.Whether if its a Novel,Graphic Novel or Comic.No Transformers doesnt make the cut.Its not my intention to pick on Transformers but Im sure if you can think of similar properties( Based on a toyline/Based on a cartoon)to compare my theory against..You'll find that im right

  • April 27, 2007, 9:25 p.m. CST

    bay. just bay.

    by imageburn13

    I really am 50/50 on the fence. Bay has made some of my fav films of the last 15 years, bad boys, (classic) bad boys 2, and The Rock, which I saw in the theater and was literally liquid adrenaline. Im a bit nervous that while viewing Transformers, the jokes will come off as seriously immature. As long as the movie plays "progressive" to the core elements, (action, destruction, repentance,) and doesnt pander to the tweener kids throwing candy boxes and gum at the screen and running up and down the isles, then sign me up. The damn gobots have to have real character arcs. Thats all im feeling right now on this flick.

  • April 27, 2007, 9:34 p.m. CST

    Total plant

    by Razorback

    I was once a studio plant... and this dude wrote just like I used to.

  • April 27, 2007, 9:34 p.m. CST

    You DO know "TINO" is a bullshit term...uh, right?

    by Triumph poops!

    Just a few random thoughts given how insanely long this talkback has become. So who knows if anyone will even read this. When talkbacks get this long, you end to read the first 5 or so...then scroll down to see who added the latest and pick up there. But here's my 2 cents on this.<p>1) It doesn't sound like this guy is a plant to me. He covers more than enough to at least make it seem like he actually saw a rough cut. Then again since this is AICN which is SUPPOSED to be a hip and plugged-in outlet for putting out news for things that transpire behind the scenes in Hollywood, the obvious way to answer IF he's a plant is to simply determine IF a test screening did in fact take place where and when he said it did -- that is, versus the so-called FF2: RISE screening in Seattle that AICN posted about, but which turned out never to have even occured.<p>2) As for people saying "He's a plant since he can't be 28 given the way he writes and talks", all I can say is you don't get out enough. That's nothing to go by. This is rather sad to say -- and certainly makes for a side political debate on education and whatnot -- but solid writing AND speaking skills really are becoming a lost art. Then again, speaking as someone in an age group rather older than 28 (which I suppose begins to make me a cranky old man) I blame it on the fact that younger generations have actually come to believe that something like "IB 4 UR LUV" is proper English or a complete sentence and THAT'S how you're supposed to write or talk. And yes, the current trend towards using your cell phone and texting your friends isn't helping the world's IQ levels either.<p>Which frankly, I've never understood anyway. I mean, you're LITERALLY hold a fucking cell phone. You decide you want to say something to your friend. So why the hell don't you simply CALL them and talk to them since that's the whole POINT to having a mobile phone or leave a voice message if they're not there to answer as opposed to leaving some ass backwards, horrendously spelled message that needs the NSA to decode it? Ahh, I guess I am becoming a cranky old man.<p>3) The people who are already hating this and calling it TINO seriously need to realize something. That's really a bullshit term that only refers to YOU. This may be akin to Hiro at the conclusion of last week's HEROES facing his future self, but here's another truth many of you are just going to HAVE to accept, whether you want to or not. The TRANSFORMERS you knew and grew up with are gone. Not here. Vamoosh! Buh-bye! YOUR cartoons are a thing of the past, YOUR toys a thing of the past. TODAY'S kids -- you know, the one's this movie really is aimed, the ones that a zillion merchandising tie-ins are targeted at -- will see this and they will ideally take this to be THEIR Transformers, with its own NEW mythology and NEW looks for THEIR generation. Or at least that's the hope of Speilberg, Bay and the zillion licensing merchandisers who are backing this.<p>So the total irony here is you have OLDER geeks...people who have clearly grown up from their childhoods (you know, the Lucas raped generation)...who want to label this thing "TINO", yet the irony is the kids who will flock to see this on July 4gth will fold their arms across their chests and stand defiant and tell you afterwards "No, buddy, YOUR version is the TINO. YOUR old version is Transformers in name only. This movie I'm going to see over and over again? These new kick ass toys I'm racing out to buy? THIS is Transformers. Deal with it."<p>Which is why I say TINO is a bullshit term -- it's only relative if you're an older person who just can't deal with the idea that time has marched on here and a new incarnation is about to take over. By pure logic, its "in name only" only to those of you who won't let go.<p>All that said, do I think the movie will be good? Well, it's got Speilberg and Bay and ILM and a zillion dollar production budget behind it. So it was made at an A plus level. It's got a fun concept and based on the trailers and such, it looks like some great doofy summertime fun at the movies. Then again this is a case where I'm in sync with some things that Moriarity has stated in the past. I'm not some uber diehard fan of the old cartoons. Did I ever seem or buy a toy or two way back when? Sure, but then I moved on. So I'm going to this expecting to see robots that can transform into things who then battle each other and cause a shitload of mayhem onscreen courtesy of modern SFX wizardry. So right now I'd say its a pretty good bet that's what I'm going to get, which means it probably will be a fun 10 bucks spent to simply get out of the house when it's like 100 degrees out in the midst of the summer.<p>And yes, when it comes to movies like this, it really IS as simple as that...

  • April 27, 2007, 9:34 p.m. CST

    TRANSFORMERS WERE CREATED BY MARVEL COMICS!

    by jegoing74

    How many fucking times does this have to be repeated?!?!? Griffin-Bacal the ad agency went to MARVEL COMICS. Enough of taking a shit on TRANSFORMERS crica 1984!

  • April 27, 2007, 9:35 p.m. CST

    R U ALL SMOKING MUCH CRACK?!! THS IS MICHAEL BAY FILM!

    by GARTHIMUS

    BAY is eXcitment!!! BAY is adVENTURE!!!! BAY ACTION is truly TRULY OUTRAGUS!!!!!!!!!! U ungratful winers!!!!! WAH WAH WAH Prime has LIPS!!!! well so do U!! REALISM -- NOT CARTOON!!!!! and u all can kiss BAYS TALENTED HOLYWOOD MOVIE MAKR ASS wit them!!! if BAY thught to give Prime COCK AND BALLS it wuld be ok becaus HE IS MOVIE MAKER and U NOT!!! he has reasons we cant undrstand!!! BECAUSE BAY will MAKE TEH MONEY!!! ppl LOVE bay!!! KABOOM!!! CHA-CHING!!! BIG DOLAR = MORE PLEASE MR. BAY!!!! See??? MOVIE not TOY>>> http://tinyurl.com/2zmy5s

  • April 27, 2007, 9:36 p.m. CST

    I have a couple of questions for Transformers fans

    by Bronx Cheer

    <p>Do you consider the origin of the Transformers program important? It doesn't seem to have had a negative effect on your appreciation for the program. I have never seen any of the cartoons or the movie. I have absolutely no experience withe the Transformers. this was not by intent, it just never came to be. There's only so many hours in each day, and I was not a kid when TF came out, so I don't think I was the intended audience anyway.</p> <p>I have always been interested in the way certain products or franchises began. My understanding is that TF began as a toy line and Hasbro saw a TV program as an ideal way to promote the toys. I don't necessarily think that's any more or less legitimate than a great novel that came about as a serial in a crappy newspaper or magazine, say for instance some of the works of Dickens. He just kept cranking out installments because he got paid by the piece. It so happened that he was a ridiculously talented writer. With the Transformers, obviously the characters and the mythos have taken on a life of their own, and that's what the fans appreciate.</p> <p>In the same way people can identify the themes in Star Wars that grabbed them and continue to keep ahold of them, what are the themes in Transformers that hooked you? Or was it just the idea of giant robots come to Earth that can disguise themselves as common place things like cars and trucks? I dig that you feel the TF movie seems to have shown some disrespect for the source material, but what if the filmmakers have managed to capture the core values that attracted you to the show in the first place? Isn't it unfair to judge a film before you've seen it?</p> <p>I realize that Michael Bay is a known quantity, and once his name is on a film, we pretty much know what to expect. However, Spielberg is riding shotgun on this one, so I think the movie deserves the benefit of the doubt. But that's just me.</p> <p>I am looking forward to this film for a very specific reason. The idea of giant robots beating the crap out of each other and everything in site is too much to resist. Since I don't have any attachment to the Transformers, I'm only looking for giant feckin' robots in 5.1 with killer CGI and explosions and so on. I don't think that's a bad thing. And if it's TINO, then I am not any the wiser. I realize that it if the film shits all over the details of the characters you love that it will be difficult for you to enjoy the film, but what if you just approached it as Giant Feckin' Robots Fightin' and Rampagin' and go along with it? It might not be so bad.</p> <p>I am sympathetic to you disappointment at Bay having fucked with something you cherish, but that's the name of the game in the film industry. That's something we all have to deal with.</p>

  • April 27, 2007, 9:42 p.m. CST

    EdRyder, that same argument was used against comics

    by Bronx Cheer

    <p>Novels that came out as paperback originals weren't real books. Science fiction was in the ghetto of the written word. Comic books...comic books!?! You mean those flimsy little things that advertise x-ray specs and sea monkeys? Why do parents allow their kids to read that crap...if you want to call it reading.</p> <p>Those arguments are all very familiar...and complete bullshit. So I disagree with you that Transformers is not legit because it started as a creation of Hasbro. The characters and stories connected with people regardless. It never reached me, but that doesn't mean I don't respect that other people may love the stuff.</p> <p>And before we start knocking one man's art form, try to remember that movies were considered rubbish, a distraction, a waste of time and money, compared to fine and proper pursuits, like lietrature and wife beating.</p>

  • April 27, 2007, 9:43 p.m. CST

    OMG!!! MY CHILDHOOD RAPED!!!!

    by GARTHIMUS

    only childhod raping is if U grease up yur 1984 PRIME DOLL an ram him sidewaY up ASS!!! THEN yur CHILDHOOD was RAPED!!! WAH WAH GEEWUNNER wit teh FUDGY OPTIMUS DOLLBABIE!!!! WAHH!!! 1984 is dead!!!

  • April 27, 2007, 9:43 p.m. CST

    I fucking hate this guy.

    by DOGSOUP

    Someone put him out of our misery like, yesterday. Where's Niel when you need him?

  • April 27, 2007, 9:46 p.m. CST

    gee imagine that...

    by the_shogun_gunslinger

    someone who has ACTUALLY SEEN THE MOVIE says its a fun badass flick. sounds like im in for a treat this july...sorry haters. continue to cry clutching your 20 year old toys. <P> ps. please remove the lips..thats my only complaint

  • April 27, 2007, 9:49 p.m. CST

    Oh, yeah, the reviewer is an utter douchebagy Firster

    by Bronx Cheer

    He's a Firster. "First, bitches." The only thing worse than a Firster is the ongoing conversation between the "First" and the "Second" over who truly rules, who was Pwned, etc. EASD, Firsters, EASD.

  • April 27, 2007, 9:50 p.m. CST

    No No No

    by magnetoelectric

    You misunderstand.Transformers holds as much of a spot in geek heritage as Monchichi.I dont understand what youre saying by "Legit".You may very well be a hardcore Transformer fan,nothing wrong with that,nothing wrong with being a hardcore Smurf fan either.But as a geek Im telling you it doest have a place in the mantlepiece.

  • April 27, 2007, 9:52 p.m. CST

    What do Transformers and chickens have in common?

    by Bronx Cheer

    Neither one has lips, and they both get converted into all sorts of amazing things.

  • April 27, 2007, 9:56 p.m. CST

    What do plants and Shia Labeouf have in common?

    by Forestal

    Your answer here:_________________

  • April 27, 2007, 9:59 p.m. CST

    EdRyder, I didn't realize Geekdom had a heirarchy

    by Bronx Cheer

    So there are Geeks Proper, and then wannabe geeks? Isn't that sort of like someone who loves McDonalds burgers arguing that White Castles are bullshit and not legit? In other words, who decides what belongs on the Geek Mantle? Isn't that sort of silly? Sort of like saying that Heroes is bullshit because it's on TV and that only comic books are allowed to tell superhero stories? I think that's exclusionary and bigoted. Let all the geeks in; it makes for a more interesting crowd.</p>

  • April 27, 2007, 10:02 p.m. CST

    Plants and Shia...neither has a central nervous system?

    by Bronx Cheer

    Neither one is a sentient creature?

  • April 27, 2007, 10:03 p.m. CST

    I don't know........

    by Jimmy Jazz

    I'm still recovering from the brain damage I suffered from Bad Boys 2.

  • April 27, 2007, 10:03 p.m. CST

    I don't know........

    by Jimmy Jazz

    I'm still recovering from the brain damage I suffered from Bad Boys 2.

  • April 27, 2007, 10:05 p.m. CST

    DOGSOUP just made me realize what I need to be happy.

    by Bronx Cheer

    I need a Neill Cumpston review of Transformers and of The Devil dared Me To. Hell, "Devil" is sort of a Cumpston in a film. It's very Cumpstony.

  • April 27, 2007, 10:06 p.m. CST

    Did you know Chicken McNuggets are 56% corn?

    by And Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu

    The "derived from literature" argument is missing the point. Just setting an arbitrary line between sacred and childish doesn't make any meanigful argument about the validity of this distinction itself. Why does such a line even need to exist? Why can't all properties be treated with the proper reverence in adaptation?

  • April 27, 2007, 10:07 p.m. CST

    No it doesnt

    by magnetoelectric

    I know geeks.I am a geek.Im a childhood Transformers fan.I know who Omega Supreme is.I also know who Raistlin is.See its like Star Wars fans.Some are geeks and some are hardcore Star Wars fans. They can talk Star Wars for days.But switch the topic off their geek realm and they tilt their heads like you took the puppies pull toy away.If its exclusionary then its a choice that person made by deciding to focus on ONE THING.History decides what belongs on the Geek Mantle not geeks like me.

  • April 27, 2007, 10:08 p.m. CST

    Does Megan Fox get attempted to get raped?

    by Bald Evil

    Sorry... that colossally mangled phrase has had me laughing for weeks, I had to use it. I don't think this is a plant review; in fact it's one of the most entertaining reviews I've read on this site in months. And regardless of what anyone says in this thread, everyone who has posted will be ponying up their scratch to see this when it comes out. You know it's true!

  • April 27, 2007, 10:09 p.m. CST

    Why?

    by magnetoelectric

    Because some are Mcniggets and others are Prime Rib

  • April 27, 2007, 10:09 p.m. CST

    Mcnugets

    by magnetoelectric

    Damnit!

  • April 27, 2007, 10:16 p.m. CST

    c is for cookie

    by RokurGepta

    that's good enough for me

  • April 27, 2007, 10:16 p.m. CST

    Here's what I don't get...

    by cdubbs727

    I enjoy Michael Bay's movies, with the exception of Pearl Harbor. There's no depth, but the man blows stuff up better than anyone. I remember that when Pearl Harbor came out, people kept saying he should just stick to big explosions and chases. So, cut to this year. He's doing a movie about robots that blow things up. Really, isn't that tailor-made for Michael Bay? I mean, this is TRANSFORMERS. It's a movie about robots that turn into cars. The only reason this movie exists is to have robots blow stuff up. Seriously, what do people want from a TRANSFORMERS movie? Depth? Nuance? It's a movie about robots that blow things up. It's based on a cartoon that was made to sell toys! It's about alien robots that turn into cars...I'm looking forward to the movie simply for robots blowing things up. That's the only reason it exists and that's all I'm looking forward to, just like the rest of the general public.

  • April 27, 2007, 10:20 p.m. CST

    What!?!

    by tile_mcgillus

    I read the entire review. What about that review other then the dialogue between Starscream and Megatron makes you psyched to see this movie? Seriously, the only other things he mentions are different stuff blowing up. Constantly. I think it was a explosion reference every two sentences. That and the Deceptions being fodder. Then back to the explosions. He DID NOT say awesome fight sequences, great characters, great story etc. etc... just stuff blowing up "bay style", which I am not even certain what he means. Could he mean shooting an explosion from 15 angles and showing it over and over again so it lasts thirty seconds? And then he said it is cheesy but you somehow like the cheesy? WHAT? <br><br> Did I read the same review as everyone else? If he is a plant, he should be fired. Worst salesman ever. <br><br> If this is real, and for the love of god I hope it is not, then we should be worried. My enthusiam, which has been building and building just dropped...alot.

  • April 27, 2007, 10:20 p.m. CST

    Decent review but doesn't answer the burning question:

    by corvette63

    Do we get to see giant robots fighting to "You Got The Touch"? Because it ain't a Transformers movie without it.

  • April 27, 2007, 10:37 p.m. CST

    I really do believe

    by RowanM

    that film makers like Bay are there to legitimise and excuse our irrational behaviour and fascinating yet irrelevant attitude towards geek stuff like Transformers. I've got this good feeling.

  • April 27, 2007, 10:43 p.m. CST

    if transformers is your

    by batmanthehorse

    if transformers is your childhood than its too bad you didn't have a better childhood. besides, seeing transformers getting raped would be funny. at three dollars a gallon at the pump, all red trucks are haveing their blue pants pulled down around their ankles and getting the old gas pump up the anus. whats TINO?

  • April 27, 2007, 10:44 p.m. CST

    turtles was sweet

    by batmanthehorse

    thats a good childhood memory and they didn't rape the turtles. i thought the new movie was really cool.

  • April 27, 2007, 10:44 p.m. CST

    Que la chingada???!!!! I'm gone for five minutes..

    by pelos_locos

    and there is a TF review and 2000 posts? What the hell? Does everybody post at the same time or what?<p> Anyways, flames on optimus=lips on optimus and I hate that Bumblebee speaks like the love bug. Stupid script writers!!!! (Who is the genius that came up with that one?). Megatron doesn't get an earth form?? I hate this movie.<p> See you haters there on July 4th. I'll be first in line.

  • April 27, 2007, 10:50 p.m. CST

    Assholes and Opinions..spins the web around

    by quantize

    A lot of talkbacks are dominated by jerkoffs who think they *know* stuff about things they haven't seen because they have a big sack of opinions nobody in the universe gives a flying fuck about.. yeh Bay has done some first class dogshit, but he's done some okay stuff too...so far the CGI looks extremely good, but who knows..we haven't actaully seen the film.. Form opinions as *that* time..most of the hot air is based on nothing but opinions about previous things..Anyone can redeem themselves..bands do it with albums..no matter how abbhorent we might find their previous work.. Yeh the guy has form in crap films..but i won't know till i see for sure. Calm the fuck down, plenty of time to hate later if its even worth it..

  • April 27, 2007, 10:57 p.m. CST

    i must be old...

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    (42) - people make reference to the transformers as if it were some legendary classic piece of cartoon history - all i remember is the first few lines of the theme song - can a trasformy(a fan) explain something - i know these transformers can shape shift from one vehicle type to their robot form - but - for this to work, their actual parts and the material they are composed of would have to be able to morph/shapeshift (on a molecular level) - like a small screw changing shape or being absorbed into a larger piece of hardware (like in t2) - is this the basic principle at work here? - or are they just big robots that fold up to look like a big truck (like the toys the show was created for in order to sell)

  • April 27, 2007, 11 p.m. CST

    Transformers=Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)

    by Neil McCauleys Crew

    Looked good but took huuuuge liberties with the source material, if you changed up a couple of the details (Lifestream, some references to the video games) FF could've been stamped with any generic sci-fi title. I believe the same has been done with Transformers except in Transformers, they shit all over it.

  • April 27, 2007, 11:02 p.m. CST

    AllPowerfulWizardOfOz TB translated

    by Immortal_Fish

    I managed to sucker this pod person and translate their heinous message before it could inflict further hard on the populace at large. Pay heed. These are mere subtle differences...<P>And more power to the righteous who are bitching about a movie that is hardly based on a comic, cartoon, or toy line. You have all kinds of basis for any of the bitching. If it was a movie that was being made on something like a cherished claymation hero, I'd be against you. If was a movie based on a legendary novel, I'd be stabbing your back. But this is a movie based on a cartoon that was based on fucking LEGENDS! So all you minutemen look like heroes. This movie is going to be 100% mindless drfek just like the Phantom Menace. Nothing more. It's droids hovering the fuck over oil slicks. That's it. Nothing worthwhile or mysterious about it. You can take your argument about the wasted opportunity and butt fuck your Bay effigies in fanboy jihad while you download the movie. We all know though that most of you who are whining will have your ass planted in a theater seat in some other show on opening day and will love each and every minute of thinking about live action robots kicking ass in your dreams the way they should have. You will come here on here even here after here where we're here in here where we're all together here after seeing it and even if you think you may have liked it you will complain about sparing precious minutes of your life but deep down you will have loved every single minute spared and nothing you can say will make me think otherwise. Get over it, it's a pretentious movie hardly based on a toy line and it's going to own retards on July 4th.

  • April 27, 2007, 11:04 p.m. CST

    WHAT IS TINO? WHAT!?

    by iwontwin

    PLEASE I NEED KNOWLEDGE!

  • April 27, 2007, 11:08 p.m. CST

    TINO is

    by iwontwin

    THAT IS NOT OPTIMUS!

  • April 27, 2007, 11:12 p.m. CST

    Transformers in Name Only= TINO

    by Bronx Cheer

    It's sort of cute. I expect some rabid TF fans have TINO tattoos already.

  • April 27, 2007, 11:14 p.m. CST

    I would almost guarantee....

    by seanny_d

    that the devoted fanbase that is treating this movie like it just raped their mother on their lawn, slit their father's throat, and set their dog on fire are such a small portion of the overall movie-going public that all these talkbacks will be rendered moot by the time the movie actually comes out. <p>The movie is going to make buckets of money from children who want to see giant robots, and from adults who also want to see giant robots, and from the majority of that minority who already has decided they hate the film. <p>Could Bay have respected the source material more? I have no fucking idea. I am vaguely aware of Transformers in my childhood and could care less about all the issues that people have brought up here. Other than Megatron looking like a giant vagina, I really have no beef with any of it. <p> What is absolutely hilarious is the amount of bitching and moaning that is being done over a giant robot movie which will ultimately have no effect on the finished product. I respect the reverence with which many of you hold Transformers, but as Oz said, it's time to move on. A sizable majority of the population sees the Transformers as nothing more than a toy line that was made into a cartoon. The fact that there is actual canon out there is not common knowledge to most people. And I don't think many people are going to jump on that bandwagon anytime soon. <p> I can almost promise you though, that this review will probably be pretty much what John Q. Public thinks of the movie if it is how he described. <br>I will say, continue the bitching and keep the internet explosion alive. I swear someone should make a documentary from the fanboy perspective of the making of this movie. It would probably be the most fascinating film of our generation.

  • April 27, 2007, 11:20 p.m. CST

    yeah...

    by Ben Hawkins

    I stopped reading at "Screw you guys. The flames are cool.".

  • April 27, 2007, 11:24 p.m. CST

    Jimmy your way too out of touch to be asking that

    by Phategod1

    Way too out of touch. best advice Buy a toy or watch a old episode.

  • April 27, 2007, 11:25 p.m. CST

    Phoenix Suns Rule Lakers Blow

    by PhxFilmFan

    By the way, it's a MOVIE. It's not meant to solve the world's problems, cure cancer, win Best Picture, etc. It's going to be what it's mean to be: a mindless summer movie with stuff blowing up and getting smashed to shit. It will be a mindless event film, but a FUN event film. Re-fucking-lax. You all are debating this like it's fucking Roe vs. Wade. Shut the hell up and just enjoy it for what it is, you douchebags. Speaking of douchebags... the Lakers and their rapist boy Kobe are going to LOSE to the Suns. Unstoppable, those Suns. The only way the Lakers can win is if the Suns give them the game, which they most certainly did in game 3. They're bored with the Lakers. The Suns will get their groove on again and will win the series 4-1. Debate that Lakers fans! What? You can't? Sucks to be an L.A. fan right now, huh? Your one good player can't outplay our multiple studs. Suck it. GO SUNS!

  • April 27, 2007, 11:35 p.m. CST

    i have been skeptical

    by isildur29

    from day 1...but the more footage and posters I see the better the movie looks. This review does nothing for me (i think he is a plant) but it doesn't matter because I will be there opening day to watch robots smash shit because that is all I expect from Michael Bay and giant robots...explosions and fights and carnage With my expectations I doubt I will be let down

  • April 27, 2007, 11:45 p.m. CST

    SCENES FROM SPIDEY 3 POSTED!!

    by Nerdboy1423

    Watch scenes from Spider-Man 3 http://www.metacafe.com/watch/536532/new_spider_man/3_scenes

  • April 27, 2007, 11:54 p.m. CST

    "but when its time to fight- they fight- plant style."

    by Xeniten

    I guess they thought if aicn were fooled twice by fake Darknight shots they might be fooled by this highly obvious plantacular posting.

  • April 27, 2007, 11:57 p.m. CST

    Armageddon scored a test score of 92?!?!?!?!

    by Lucasblows

    Even more reason to believe this will suck. If Transformers scored higher than Armageddon it must be REALLY fucking bad! Armageddon was like eye cancer.

  • April 27, 2007, 11:58 p.m. CST

    blockbuster $$$???

    by beatnikslacker

    Die Hard & Ratatouille 6.29 Harry Potter 7.13 Transformers doesnt have a big enough window to make blockbuster money. Two high profile movies opening the week before and potter opening 10 days later, it will be lucky to break 100 million by then. The summer slate is to stacked. Potter will take away the "core" audience TF is trying to ensnare. And if the buzz is bad action fans will trust in Die Hard over a Bayriffic ride.

  • April 27, 2007, 11:58 p.m. CST

    This has to be a plant...

    by Xeniten

    Wasn't it just last week we learned that Prime's lips in the trailer were from a test shot, which they used in the trailer, but not to worry they won't be in the film. So..... If they won't be in the film, what are they doing in the test screening? Sure, maybe they will take them out before final release, i'll give you that. But it sure reads funny to me.

  • April 28, 2007, 12:01 a.m. CST

    Hmm, same old shit.

    by Style_92

    I'll just post my predictions for how the "official" reviews will go:<br> <br> Quint: Will be Mixed/positive, but will be derided because he got all those on-set visits. Flamers will then say he can't be trusted.<br> <br> Moriarty: Mixed/Negative, but he will keep name dropping. "As a writer, I think the problem goes back to the screenplay. I mean, I AM a writer. John Carpenter directed something I wrote, and Pro-life was banned at walmart, so my writerly opinion..." and so forth. <br> <br> Harry: He'll love it. His review will read like the review at the top of this page. Except longer, and one or more "Harryism" Harry-isms include: TMI-Scatalogical; "I was watching Transformers with my nephew and Dad. My Nephew shit his pants. then my dad shit his pants. Then I shit my pants. But none of us dared move, for fear we'd miss this awesome kick-ass-ed-ness, no matter how stinky and sticky it got..." Oddly sexual; "Watching transformers, my cock transformed into a stainless-steal rod, and it felt as though Optimus Prime's perfectly-formed lips were slowly massaging, Cullen's deep and bassy voice creating a harmonic reasonance that vibrated me to autobot bliss." Nonsensical vaguely-offensive dissertation on the morals of the movie: "The autobots are like Muslim terrorists, the Decepticons are like the US government, and Sector seven is like Soviet Russia/Fundamentalist Christians."

  • April 28, 2007, 12:01 a.m. CST

    Orgastic

    by Phategod1

    Best way to describe the spidey footage

  • April 28, 2007, 12:02 a.m. CST

    Xeniten and Lucas blows summoned me.

    by Style_92

    They said "Style" and "92" too close together! (I wasn't born in 92, I'm older than 15, incase you were wondering.)

  • April 28, 2007, 12:03 a.m. CST

    Better him than me

    by Mattyboy122

    I'm glad this guy saw the flick and I didn't get suckered into a free movie. Why? Because I had a nightmare a few weeks ago that I went to an early screening of Transformers and none other than Michael Fucking Bay himself sat behind me. And, lo and behold, the guy was laughing and clapping all throughout his own flick, lapping his shit up, flashing his shit-smeared smile at every cutesy moment and pumping his fists in the air at every time the movie headed into ridiculous Michael Bay territory. Now, bear in mind I'm not even somebody who grew up on Transformers; hell, I don't think I've ever actually seen a full episode. But I know the rape of a source material when I see it, and in the hands of Michael Bay, that rape becomes even worse. So, to make a long story short (too late), I'm glad this guy saw it and none of us with the ability to discern between good and bad were suckered into sitting through it. And that's my two cents.

  • April 28, 2007, 12:04 a.m. CST

    I would rather have LaserBeak chew my balls off

    by tygrus2000

    ...that to see this crap fest. Remember Micheal Bay is the person who thinks space shuttles can fly out of orbit in a meteor shower and not get damaged. He is also the one who thinks a nuke buried a couple hundred feet in an asteroid the size of texas would chisel the thing into 2 perfect peices.

  • April 28, 2007, 12:08 a.m. CST

    Style_92

    by Lucasblows

    Your preview of Harry's review is better than the actual film will be. Fucking hilarious.

  • April 28, 2007, 12:09 a.m. CST

    The Spider-Man 3 scenes kick ass!!!

    by Nerdboy1423

    check them out here, they are genuine! http://www.metacafe.com/watch/536532/new_spider_man/3_scenes

  • April 28, 2007, 12:11 a.m. CST

    anyone who says...

    by Thunder Mammoth

    "And finally, anyone who prefers the SUNS over the LAKERS is just a FUCKTARD." --- then there's a whole bunch of us fucktarded SUNS fans in arizona that are gonna laugh our freakin asses off as the Lakers get sent back home. GO-BOTS!!!!!

  • April 28, 2007, 12:16 a.m. CST

    i think the reviewer was truthful when...

    by Thunder Mammoth

    he talked about how hot Megan Fox is in the movie. mmmmmmm, *slurp*

  • April 28, 2007, 12:22 a.m. CST

    I salute you Style_92!

    by Xeniten

    Well done sir! :-D

  • April 28, 2007, 12:24 a.m. CST

    why wouldn't it be in a TEST Screening???

    by Thunder Mammoth

    "Wasn't it just last week we learned that Prime's lips in the trailer were from a test shot, which they used in the trailer, but not to worry they won't be in the film. So..... If they won't be in the film, what are they doing in the test screening?" ------------------- what do you think the purposes of TEST SCREENINGS ARE???

  • April 28, 2007, 12:25 a.m. CST

    "My cock transformed into a stainless-steal rod"

    by Triumph poops!

    Style 92, I'd say you're probably right across the board on how the AICN reviews will fall once TRANSFORMERS does debut. That said, your mock Harry review was fucking hilarious and COMPLETELY on target. Good job, man!

  • April 28, 2007, 12:28 a.m. CST

    style 92 - nailed it.

    by Thunder Mammoth

    should cut-n-paste that Harry-Review into each future review of his, and help us save our eyes and our brain cells. the only thing missing was the inevitable set-up of what he did the week, day, moment prior to seeing the film.

  • April 28, 2007, 12:31 a.m. CST

    Don't forget that Agent Aaron Pierce of S.H.I.E.L.D....

    by Darth_Gonz

    ...is in the movie as an Army General, as well. Michael Bay+Agent Aaron Pierce=BADASSERY SQUARED!

  • April 28, 2007, 12:39 a.m. CST

    2 paragraphs through before I thought...

    by white owl

    PLIZZANT! PLICKITY PLACKETY PLANT!!

  • April 28, 2007, 12:43 a.m. CST

    Thunder Mammoth

    by Xeniten

    I'm simply saying that Michael Bay himself said that the lips were from footage that the European studios were using while they were testing various advertisements. Bay specifically referenced European footage. Here's the url for that report... http://tinyurl.com/259ky7 So why the specific Euopean reference? If the lips are in EVERY shot the they must be in the test screenings. BUT... if the lips are isolated to europe then.... I question why the lips would appear in a test screening held in ARIZONA, which undoubtedly would use local footage, idealy from America. And besides, I think it's far too early for a test screening yet. This film is heavily cgi, principal filming only wrapped up a couple of months ago. I don't believe this review is real. I'd LOVE to be proved wrong. Realy I would! But bottom line, I think this film will ultimately have more stink on it than a bag of garbage.

  • April 28, 2007, 1:01 a.m. CST

    PLANTFORMERS

    by Supervillain Outcast

    From person to plant, watch them transform this Summer..

  • April 28, 2007, 1:09 a.m. CST

    what the fuck???

    by bollhatergc

    jesus christ...why dont you just water the fucking plant instead of posting the "review"???

  • April 28, 2007, 1:20 a.m. CST

    what the fuck???

    by bollhatergc

    jesus christ...why dont you just water the fucking plant instead of posting the "review"???

  • April 28, 2007, 1:54 a.m. CST

    was 28 this guys IQ level,

    by DIBARAHMAN

    was 28 this guys IQ level, cos it definitely wasnt his age, I put that down as 14. he writes like a retard.

  • April 28, 2007, 2:41 a.m. CST

    Why are people excited about this movie?

    by kwisatzhaderach

    It's directed by Michael Bay. He's directed only one half-decent film, THE ROCK. All his other movies are awful. Transformers will suck.

  • April 28, 2007, 3:02 a.m. CST

    I doubt it's a plant. It may be a Bay acolyte

    by superninja

    reviewing the trailer, because they want everyone to drink the Bay-aide and get on board.

  • April 28, 2007, 3:03 a.m. CST

    jegoing74

    by Galva

    "Michael Bay is like a wannabe Tony Scott." OH MY GOD, I'd kill myself if someone said that about me! Bay's extended family must have felt that one!

  • April 28, 2007, 3:04 a.m. CST

    Everyone sucks up to Spielberg in an extremely

    by superninja

    ridiculous manner. I got to watch it first-hand recently and you would think he cured cancer.

  • April 28, 2007, 3:05 a.m. CST

    tygrus2000

    by United States

    My neighbor has a pit bull named 'Laserbeak.' If you come by the house on July 4th, I'm sure we could get him to chew your balls off for you. I'd hate to have you waste your afternoon watching this movie!

  • April 28, 2007, 3:16 a.m. CST

    By the way, regarding Galactus . . .

    by United States

    This discussion has gotten so pointless, I had to change the subject. It is sad that I need to explain this to people who have seen numerous film franchises unfold from one movie to the next, but I have to put your fears to rest. This film is called 'Rise of the Silver Surfer." The first movie simply introduced the FF. Now, they are very courageously taking on the monumental SS/Galactus story arc. So, obviously, the second film is meant to introduce the Silver Surfer, and set us up for the eventual arrival of Galactus in *the next movie.* So, when you hear things about the so-called Galactus cloud, be ye not afraid. He's not likely to be in this one at all.

  • April 28, 2007, 3:32 a.m. CST

    The Mattel and Mars Bar Quick Energy Chocobot Movie

    by bender7

    "You can count on us, Mr. President. Major Nougat! Gooey! Cocoa! Put down those entertaining Mattel products! Colonel Kataffy is up to his old tricks!"

  • April 28, 2007, 3:37 a.m. CST

    I'm Reserving Judgement...

    by MarkoOhNo

    ...okay, I'm done reserving. Take cover! This film is about to blow! Personally, I feel insulted that it's being released the same month as my birthday. lol Seriously, I hope it bombs horribly. It needs to be scrapped, and taken the same route as Hulk (although Hulk's revision wasn't even needed.) In two, maybe three years, I would like to see a WELL done, carefully and thoughtfully orchestrated Transformers movie which pretends this travesty was never in theaters.

  • April 28, 2007, 3:56 a.m. CST

    Definitely a plant or Don Murphy

    by Kampbell-Kid

    Reading posts on here for over a decade, it starts becoming an art. Throughout it tries too hard with every single AICN cliché with even its "long time reader, first time caller" opening. It feels planty but it also reeks Don Murphy. <looks at watch> He is late and due for a AICN bashing visit actually.

  • April 28, 2007, 4:01 a.m. CST

    Sigh

    by CaptainAngry

    Is it too much to ask for someone to write a review that doesn't sound as if it were composed by a fucking mongoloid? This "review" doesn't cover *anything* that hasn't been previously shown in a trailer, production photo, or some random bit of internet driven flotsam. And the fact author's command of grammer is rougly that of Sloth from The Goonies doesn't aid his credibility any.

  • April 28, 2007, 4:08 a.m. CST

    Today on "Movie studio Witch hunt"

    by Phategod1

    There's no way D 2 C'S would send a review here. I have Ideas about Ole 2 chins 1. he's a troll of man with the professionalism points hooker or He really wants the movie to fail because he lost all control and he became the proverbial Sampson Pushing the pillars of this movie down around him by attacking anyone with constructive criticism.

  • April 28, 2007, 4:24 a.m. CST

    Krack...

    by TinSpider

    You sir, are a genius.

  • April 28, 2007, 4:29 a.m. CST

    LIPS ON OPITIMAS = NIPPLES ON BATMAN

    by shakermakerman

    bet hes a good kisser too.

  • April 28, 2007, 4:33 a.m. CST

    OPTIMUS***

    by shakermakerman

    Ooops my bad

  • April 28, 2007, 4:37 a.m. CST

    bender7

    by the_shogun_gunslinger

    LMAO, dude thats exactly what i think about everytime i hear TF fanboys whine about the "mythology" of their beloved animated toy commercial.

  • April 28, 2007, 5:57 a.m. CST

    BIGGEST PLANT IN THE HISTORY OF PLANTS

    by The Ghost of Marcus Brody

    .

  • April 28, 2007, 6:01 a.m. CST

    I'm so afraid

    by Napoleon Park

    that if you guys all boycott the Tranformatorbot movie that they'll never make a live action Micronauts movie. Of course if the toy company can't cut a deal with marvel to use the first thirteen issues of the Michael Golden/Bill Mantlo comic, there's no point anyway. I wouldn't want to see a Micronauts movie without Marionette or Bug. *** Somehow in between the WAR in Iraq and the War on the noun Terror, I don't think this would be a really good time to make a GI Joke movie. Thundercats might work/ Hey, here's an idea: if "Spiderman 3: Can't Think Of A Title" and "Speed Racer" and "Transormationers" are all hits, why not do an American remake of the Japanese Spider-Man series - you know, the one with the Spider-Mobile and the Spider-Bot.

  • April 28, 2007, 6:21 a.m. CST

    I won't be paying to see it

    by photoboy

    I don't know how many times I've had to say that. I keep seeing idiots posting that "you haters will still pay to see it on release". I know for a fact I will not. This film will never get any of my money and I will never watch it thanks to Bay bastardising the designs, characters and story.<br><br> So all you Bay apologists need to stop claiming everyone will be lining up to see TINO, because most of us "haters" won't go anywhere near it.

  • April 28, 2007, 6:47 a.m. CST

    Cardsfan34 is a POTTY-MOUTH!!!

    by sylabdul

    ...this is a "Plant" cause he's trying to 'blend' in with u other offenders!!! and screw u buddy! LA all the way....Kobe is the greatest and u just got owned by KWAME BROWN hahahahhahhahah!!!! ok about the movie....rockin!

  • April 28, 2007, 7:01 a.m. CST

    TOO SOON!!!

    by Pageiv

    I said it before and I'll say it again, Bay could've saved Pearl Harbor with some robot fights!

  • April 28, 2007, 7:10 a.m. CST

    Attention Hollywood gardeners:

    by DocPazuzu

    I don’t know how many times we’ve gone over this, but you still just don’t seem to get it. Maybe it’s that bluetooth causing interference in your cerebellum? Or maybe you’re just fucking morons? Here’s why your plants keep failing: you’re trying too hard to sound like one of us, but the problem is that you’re too lazy and stupid to really grasp how TB culture functions and how talkbackers communicate. You try to sneak glowing reviews in by praising with faint damnation (if you’ll excuse the bastardization of that phrase) and using AICN catchphrases where you think they might be appropriate. It is a bit more ambitious than that Too Fast Too Furious 3 plant who said “this movie is da boooooooommmb!” in an attempt to sound hip wit da kidz, but sadly inadequate all the same. Equally pitiful are the attempts to appeal to talkbacker favor by overly sexualizing Megan Fox. The most obvious tell, however, is that all these faux talkbacker phrases and traits are voiced by someone who is an unknown on these boards and who will either not show up to defend himself in the boards (like any red-blooded talkbacker worth his or her salt would do) for fear of revealing beyond a doubt his pod person nature, or will do so but perform so poorly that all doubt is removed anyway. Do you really expect us to believe that someone so happy to write long tracts on movies, so “geeky” and so familiar with TB catchphrases would neglect to sign up on these hallowed boards ages ago? That he just lurked silently in these boards for years but upon seeing a sneak preview decides to throw his weight around using talkbacker jargon in a review? Talkbacker or long time AICN lurker, if there’s one thing they have in common it’s knowing how fucking lame they would sound trying to pull off what this tool just attempted to. Apart from the previously mentioned 2F2F3 plant and the infamous Doom geranium, this is probably the worst offender I’ve ever seen. Feel free to print this out and send it to your anthropological project group for future reference. Until then, you’re going to have to keep your “F” in plantology. Oh, and before I get called a hater, let me just say that I have zero emotional attachment to the original Transformer cartoons and am actually looking forward to seeing the final film. It may rock or suck – I don’t know. I just want to see gigantic space robots beating the shit out of each other. My quarrel is therefore not with Bay or the Transformers project in general, but with the idiotic and insulting plantastic attempts to win geeks over.

  • April 28, 2007, 7:12 a.m. CST

    The PUSSY ON OPTIMUS probably wasn't complete yet...

    by Optimus Murphy

    ...which is why it didn't show up in the test screening. Bay and Murphy want to get it just right. This is going to be the summer of PUSSY ON OPTIMUS, and I've already bought a ton of stock in emerging companies that specialize in robot vaginas, I suggest you all do the same. The only real risk in these kind of investments is that everyone will be over saturated with PUSSY ON OPTIMUS by Labor Day, and the population will lose interest. I'm just hoping Bay delivers the PUSSY ON OPTIMUS in a way that's relevant to modern times, something that remains timelsss.

  • April 28, 2007, 7:24 a.m. CST

    Sweet...Any review of a real movie?

    by CuervoJones

    What´s this, ain´t it kid news?

  • April 28, 2007, 7:25 a.m. CST

    flames = lame, and 'chest bump' = plant

    by VoteRoslin08

    the little story about the 2 15-year-old's doing a chest bump... this is TOTALLY a plant. I'm gonna see it, but I was gonna see it before this fake, FAKE review

  • April 28, 2007, 7:26 a.m. CST

    Addendum:

    by DocPazuzu

    The plant will most likely not show up to defend himself, but do keep your eyes peeled for oddly unfamiliar talkbackers suddenly showing up and telling us to give the guy a break.

  • April 28, 2007, 7:29 a.m. CST

    the chest bumping bit...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...is this particular plant's version of the 2F2F3 plant's hilariously phony claim that the parking lot outside the cinema was filled with kids practicing "drifting" with their cars.

  • April 28, 2007, 7:32 a.m. CST

    re: DocPazuzu

    by VoteRoslin08

    exactly... half of the review is about how much key demos want to see this movie.

  • April 28, 2007, 7:35 a.m. CST

    JRKerr

    by Thes

    Ummm, I'm a 36 year old, 5'3 female Australian writer currently typing this on my MacBook (not quite an iMac, but close) with an ipod in my bag an an iphone on order. I reckon flames on cars are cool and I have no problem with the flames on OP (and yes, I am a HUGE Transformers (G1) fan. What do you make of me? I'm looking forward to this movie big time (it opens three days earlier down here in Australia than it does in the States. Yay!!) and can't wait to hit the TB about it. Hate it or love it (and I'm hoping to love it) I will still see it BEFORE I cast an opinion.

  • April 28, 2007, 7:38 a.m. CST

    Sums Up Discussion

    by HaveCameraWillTravel

    "Michael Bay sucks!" "PR Shrill Alert!" "No he isn't. He is real." "Yes, he is fake idiot." "Optimus has Pussy Lips!" "Michael Bay raped my childhood." "I think the movie looks cool." "You are the devil! You are not a true fan of Transformers because you don't have that out-of-print limited special edition of Transformers comix in Korean where Starscream comes out of the closet! You need to f-off!" "The cartoons are the best" "The cartoons are 25 minute silly crap. I am the true Transformers fan ebecause I own all the comix..even the special limited edition in Korean where Optimus Prime gets cancer and dies and then comes back to life." "I think that the robots look cool...this looks cool. I want to see the film!" "You are a moron! How can you say that! The robots look like shit!" "Your doggy poo! Go pay with your toys." "No I am not, I know all about Transformers...including the fact Megatron crosses dresses in comix #24. So you need to back the hell up!" "*insert AICN id here* You have no idea what your talking about. I am smarter than you andwh fnrlt you." "Learn to spell!" "I don't have to and I hate you forever and ever." *Insert witty comment here.* "You win!!!" @ witty comment Huge fight erupts and reduces to name calling and many internet feelings are hurt. And it goes on, and on, and on, every time anything Tranformers is posted. It's like watching a bunch of Harry Potter fangirls beating their chest because "OMG Hermoine and Ron are together and not Harry and Hermoine! I hate JK Rowlings forever and want her to die!" It would be amusing if it wasn't like a broken record. This entire forum could just be copied and pasted into each new Transformers news item forum and save a lot of time for everyone.

  • April 28, 2007, 8:41 a.m. CST

    WOW, He tricked me into lowering my defenses

    by beefywhore

    when he said he didn't know how to write a review.....DAMN YOU PLAAAAAANNNNNT!!!!!!!!

  • April 28, 2007, 9:19 a.m. CST

    Idiot

    by snow-spider

    Plant or Fake...still an idiot and hopefully not 28. To whomever is forced by Dreamworks to read this crap: I realize that we cannot change flames on Optimus or the fact that Megatron looks like crushed metal and spun sugar. What I am requesting is that you go back to your bosses and suggest an alternate DVD version that includes computer mods of [mostly] original designs. Spend a million more to make robots that look like Transformers and release it as a deluxe 3 disc set 5 months after the first DVD set. I'll buy it. You'll probably get a promotion for coming up with the idea. I'm sure I'm not the first person to suggest this. Just trying to meet the enemy part-way. They want to make money, we want Transformers. Everyone wins. Chime in.

  • April 28, 2007, 9:26 a.m. CST

    I feel for this guy...

    by Lucasblows

    ...the part where he didn't have anyone to bump chest with. Sad stuff. Brought a tear to my eye. Plus he's a broke twenty-eight year old who saw two movies alone on Thursday night and he might have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Poor guy.

  • April 28, 2007, 9:29 a.m. CST

    Every decade that produces great movies also

    by emeraldboy

    produces truly awful movies. All the best writers, left the movie business in the mid 1990 and are not coming back and are to be found on tv. Hollywood land was one the best movies, i have seen in a long time. Who made that, allen coulter, a writer and driector of the sopranos.

  • April 28, 2007, 9:48 a.m. CST

    Transformers has the smell of destiny about it...

    by Style_92

    look at all the attention it's gotten, all the hate it's generated. This thing is going to be an event. It's going to do one of two things: It will either be this generation's Star Wars or Titanic, or this generation's Batman and Robin.

  • April 28, 2007, 9:49 a.m. CST

    yack!!!!

    by moondoggy2u

    Whats going on, man? Its been a dog's age!

  • April 28, 2007, 9:50 a.m. CST

    All we need now is Superninja

    by moondoggy2u

    And this will feel like reunion day at the old folk's home.

  • April 28, 2007, 9:50 a.m. CST

    And thanks for the shout outs!

    by Style_92

    It's good to be appreciated. Even though I was mostly direct-quoting Mr. Knowles. Man Harry, there's a reason you have no credibility. (Moriarty is a more solid reviewer, but he sometimes has martyr syndrome and goes up his own ass.)

  • April 28, 2007, 9:52 a.m. CST

    Style, your AICN REVIEW

    by moondoggy2u

    was very spot on AND it made me bust a gut. I tip my hat to you, Style.

  • April 28, 2007, 10 a.m. CST

    "Shia Labuof is great as Sam Witwicky.

    by Cotton McKnight

    "I really wasn't sure how I would feel about him, but he nails it." Oh COME ON. Does a normal human being actually talk like this? Give me a break. That is the classic "PLANT" M.O.- take something that people are griping about, say "I wasn't really sure about X, but he nails it". I don't think anyone actually uses the expression "nails it" except carpenters and studio plants. So don't give me that garbage. For the record, I always thought Shia would be good in this movie, because he brought a certain levity and charm to I, Robot.

  • April 28, 2007, 10:05 a.m. CST

    Between the plant and GARTHIMUS

    by liljuniorbrown

    I don't know who posted the funniest bit of misspelled garbage i've read today. They are probably the same 13 year old troll.

  • April 28, 2007, 10:39 a.m. CST

    Sounds like Whoosh

    by gboybama

    Well it does.

  • April 28, 2007, 10:51 a.m. CST

    I hate all of you.

    by FreeFingers

    Every last one. Including Landa.

  • April 28, 2007, 10:58 a.m. CST

    wow

    by rdsxfan8

    if this reviewer is actually 28 than i feel like im an old fucker (im the same age and i dont even write like this guy) i just want to know if they are planning on using "dare to be stupid" anywhere in this film? and everytime i think of the soundtrack ,i think of Dirk Diggler in boogie nights singing it in the recording studio....... and to the people who said if he wasnt a plant he would be in here defending himself, your 100% right. i mean the guy says hes not one than does nothing but make comments to suggest otherwise and doesnt even step up in the TB's to back his statements up..... oh and one more thing, Ive never seen 2 15 yr olds do a chest bump over anything , let alone a transformers movie, so if i see this happen in real life i just might shit myself. When i was 15 all I cared about was that one yr till i could get my license , girls , and sports, I didnt really get a "geek chubby" over shit like transformers.

  • April 28, 2007, 10:59 a.m. CST

    oh and

    by rdsxfan8

    I cant get the s3 scene link to work. anyone got a better one? looks like metacafe might have removed the scenes from their site

  • April 28, 2007, 11 a.m. CST

    I'm not hating on the movie, just the crappy 'review'.

    by Orbots Commander

    Good God, somebody take that guy's keyboard away from him. That supposed '28 year old' couldn't compose a coherent sentence if his life depended on it. Regarding the movie: it looks like a decent, goofy time at the movies for 8-12 year olds. Hey, whatever, Mr. Bay, just don't expect ME to plunk down money to see TRANSFORMERS other than when it comes to HBO.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:04 a.m. CST

    And yeah,

    by Orbots Commander

    the moniker is a reference to a bad 80s Saturday morning show for kids; it doesn't mean that I'd be enough of an idiot to pay ten dollars to see a movie version of 'Mighty Orbots'.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:09 a.m. CST

    plant?

    by INWOsuxRED

    Why is there still only one review from this screening? Is there really a single human on the planet who would look over at michael Bay, recognize him, and then suggest he is "the man"? Just recognizing him would be a streatch. The only real insite into the film seems to be that EXTRA THINGS HAPPEN AFTER THE THINGS WE SAW IN THE TRAILER! It doesn't really tell you what those things are, but it assures you there are other things. The film is not just a loop of the trailer!

  • April 28, 2007, 11:31 a.m. CST

    finky! LOVE the TINO shirts.

    by S-Mart shopper

    when do they go into production? I'd buy one for shnitz-n-giggles!

  • April 28, 2007, 11:39 a.m. CST

    YackBacker

    by Kloipy

    that pic was hillarious

  • April 28, 2007, 11:49 a.m. CST

    Sadly...

    by Lucasblows

    ...that pic looks better than the Prime that's in the film!

  • April 28, 2007, 12:10 p.m. CST

    OK, it's time to purge the Talkback plants...

    by Pan_Krator

    Will everyone who is being paid by a movie studio to post here PLEASE leave. You are not doing Michael Bay any favors...

  • April 28, 2007, 12:22 p.m. CST

    I guess the age of the Blockbuster IS over

    by Drath

    I must be broken because this movie is just effects and action, stuff I've seen before and so am not very excited about. Something is wrong when this is the biggest summer movie coming. The others are sequels--no "three-quels" or higher. Spider-Man 3, PotC 3, Harry Potter 5. I guess there is the inevitable let down of Rise of the Silver Surfer (Larry Fishbourne has a terrific voice though, I'm sure I'll love his Surfer). But how many movies is that? How many different onslaughts is that? We are in full saturation mode here or we're in no-man's-land. Movies aren't special anymore, and probably they never really were except as childhood experiences, but I feel like we're this whole culture of fools who don't get that yet and we're being crowded out by the lowest-common-denominator who loves anything for the 15 minutes its there (or the X number of months leading up to it). Why do I even post? I guess I felt like I needed to vent and this was a good a place as any. What a waste of time though.

  • April 28, 2007, 12:22 p.m. CST

    This isn't over not by a long shot

    by jegoing74

    The Film hasn't even opened and you see the dislike. Just wait until the actual movie is released. This thing is going to get brutalized by fans non-fans and critics. Great Story: FAILED. Characters: FAILED. Actors: FAILED. Robot Designs: FAILED. I can deal with the movie having deficiencies but not the whole freaking thing. Michael Bay and his shortsighted vision knee-capped Transformers. The story is so banal and lame it could and should make people walk from the theatre. The man to blame for hiring and or directing these concept designers to design these astrocious robots proves he doesn't have a clue, look at each robot and there is not a cohesive look to the bunch, the exposed automobile car parts i.e. engine blocks and oil caps. The robots are inconsistent. Some have mouths while others do not. Ratchet and Bumblebee do not have mouths but instead it's layered car parts or fancy metal design on top of their faces. Look at the piece of shit they call Iron Hide, the thing looks like a fucking bull off a ranch? Is that bays trademark left curves for the audience? What kind of bull shit is this? Pun very much intended.

  • April 28, 2007, 12:22 p.m. CST

    Check this out...

    by Lucasblows

    http://hasbro.com/default.cfm?page=ps_results&product_id=19670

  • April 28, 2007, 12:31 p.m. CST

    This site is really confusing now

    by dragon-lord

    When I send a legit tip about a major film/script, I'm ignored now (I didn't used to be). But when some OBVIOUS plant writes like he is a 13 year old ("sick!") to pump this up, he gets top billing. Talk about sell out city? I don't know.

  • April 28, 2007, 12:37 p.m. CST

    Plantformers

    by dragon-lord

    Producers in disguise.

  • April 28, 2007, 12:42 p.m. CST

    Well...

    by subgeniuszero

    Like some others on here, I post very rarely. However, this review really pisses me off, and so here I am to sound off about it.<p>Number one: WE DO NOT TALK LIKE THAT. I have never heard someone say "kickassery" or "go all Michael Bay" or, within reviews themselves, say "FIRST!!!" <p> Second, what does this review tell us? Nothing. It tells us that a lot of the original script was preserved, which is a bad thing, I think. It also tells us that the CGI looks incredibly realistic. But this is ILM, right? I'd kind of assume they'd take care of such a "minor detail." It also tells us that there is a lot of kick ass action. Regardless of what you think of Michael Bay, action is one thing he knows how to do very well, and so yet again, there is nothing new there. We knew it was going to have good action sequences.<p> Early in the review, this person mentions a fight scene and the way it was "shot." Well, "shot" is not the right word: "edited" is the right word. As an editor, I am very familiar with Michael Bay's editing style, and once again ... no new information. In other words, this review is spoiler free because the studio employee who wrote the review was told not to spoil anything. And so we get what we knew already, along with a lot of "talking like the talkbackers" to make us think this abomination is legitimate.<p> Lastly: If you, the plant, were paid to write this, then please, whoever is your boss, tell them to please pick up a copy of the Chicago Manual of Style. Then, please cram it down your own throat. As an amateur writer (I have not been published yet), I resent people writing the way you do and then getting paid for it.<p>Next time, Studio Folks, do a better job than this.

  • April 28, 2007, 12:43 p.m. CST

    RE:drath

    by rdsxfan8

    I totally agree with you. are there really any good movies coming out this summer that arent sequels/prequels/revisions of stuff that we've seen in the past? I mean besides the ones you mentioned above ya got, rob zombies halloween, 28 weeks later, shrek 3, rush hr 3, die hard 4, hostel 2 etc, etc... when are all the so called "vissionary" directors gonna put those visons to use and give us a new story line or something we havent really seen before insted of rehashing, raping, destroying our childhoods? is it too much to ask for some new ideas in the film industry or are we that doomed a generation when all we look forward to are the same characters thrown into a new storyline to satisfy our summer movie appetites? granted I dont have any new ideas myself but im sure if i did hollywood would look at the bottonline and say ,well how bout we throw in (fill in the blank) and call it ( again fill in the blank) 3,4, or whatever number said character left off the last film on? hollywood and movies in general nowadays ( with the exception of the truly independant films) arent about the subject matter as much as they are about making that all mighty dollar. and as long as john q public keeps lapping it up like the pavlovian dogs we're beinging trained to be nothing will ever change. it takes a director like terry giliam or del toro to bring new ideas to the table and when they do, these ideas are often mitigated and filled with such production problems that by the time the final product is laid out for the public to see, yet again hollywood has its hands in it and we get a watered down convoluted product which strays so far from the directors intention that we have to wait for the inevitable Directors cut DVD to fully appreciate the genius of said directors work.

  • April 28, 2007, 12:44 p.m. CST

    dragon-lord

    by photoboy

    Are your submissions about TINO? Because AICN won't post negative stuff about it, so if that's what you sent in it's going to be binned.<br><br> AICN are clearly being paid by Bay & Co, they've never had a bad word to say about TINO. Compare that to the shit they gave X-Men 3 and it's clear their coverage of TINO has been orchestrated.

  • April 28, 2007, 12:49 p.m. CST

    http://tinyurl.com/2q5mky

    by Spartacus Hughs

    optimus opened

  • April 28, 2007, 12:56 p.m. CST

    MASK

    by rdsxfan8

    http://tinyurl.com/mqt9w when is this gonna be made into a live action film? ya know its gonna happen eventually....

  • April 28, 2007, 1 p.m. CST

    rdsxfan Yes and No

    by magnetoelectric

    Summertimes blockbusters are just that.The Film I look forward to the most this year is The Assassination of Jesse James.Last year it was The Fountain but there was other shit that was equally suprising like The Departed and Good Shepard.Hollywood still does good if you give them the chance,they dont all have to be independents

  • April 28, 2007, 1:05 p.m. CST

    This is what it has come down to. This guy is not

    by superninja

    a plant, he is a Bay fan that wants the movie to succeed just because Bay and Murphy talked to "him" on one of their blogs. They don't need to send in plants on this one, they have fans who have sold their souls for some blog text with a Hollywood person.

  • April 28, 2007, 1:14 p.m. CST

    RE: edryder

    by rdsxfan8

    this is true but unless you an admitted film geek, like most of the people on here ( ya know the ones that arent plants) you most likely would not have heard about some of these choices...... i totally agree with your choices listed, but with so many films gettin force fed down our throats its often the lil ones that go unnoticed

  • April 28, 2007, 1:20 p.m. CST

    It's clearly one of their new marketing tactics to

    by superninja

    engage the audience directly. Everyone in Hollywood learned this from Snakes on a Plane. And as BO continues to decline, there will be more whoring.

  • April 28, 2007, 1:23 p.m. CST

    Still think The Fountain is a Silver Surfer movie.

    by superninja

    If it had been set on Zen-La and the cancer had been Galactus, and instead of becoming one with the rebirth of the universe he becomes the Surfer at the end?

  • April 28, 2007, 1:29 p.m. CST

    Are the Mayans or The Conquistadors

    by magnetoelectric

    the Kree?Part of me says your ripping crack bongs with Don Murphy and part ofme says yes,I will subscribe to your newsletter.

  • April 28, 2007, 1:34 p.m. CST

    Not the biggest bay fan

    by steelerman

    but I won'y judge something I haven't seen. I've been wanting this for a long time and can't wait to see it regardless of any review.

  • April 28, 2007, 1:40 p.m. CST

    I can't help it, EdRyder, that was my impression

    by superninja

    when I left the theater. It is essentially the Norrin Radd story. Radd is a scientist, Jackman's character is a scientist. His soul is his love, Shalla-Bal, same with Jackman's character and his wife. A destructive force enters their lives, and Norrin sacrifices himself in an attempt to save her, just as Jackman's character ceases living in order to save his wife, he becomes a hollow man attempting to conquer death - that is exactly what happened to Norrin Rad. All of the pseudo-Eastern mysticism and imagery is also a part of the Silver Surfer. And that director dude is a comic book fan, so I call him out on it. Anyway, it made the movie ENORMOUSLY more interesting to consider it from that perspective. ;)

  • April 28, 2007, 1:44 p.m. CST

    i dont think this person saw it.

    by wcoop893

    bad write up, and its too much exactly what i expected. only things i know of are mentioned in the review, plus, prime might not have lips. whatever

  • April 28, 2007, 1:47 p.m. CST

    And the Mayans represent the victims of

    by superninja

    Galactus's appetites - the civilization to which the Herald preceeds his master.

  • April 28, 2007, 1:48 p.m. CST

    I believe there actually was a Surfer story in

    by superninja

    which people worshipped the coming of Galactus, perhaps the Moebius Surfer mini that came out? Maybe someone else can recall.

  • April 28, 2007, 1:50 p.m. CST

    Ok, What is "TINO"?

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    Someone explain. I've seen this on the TB's for quite some time and still have not figured out what the hell it is in reference to. Thanks.

  • April 28, 2007, 1:50 p.m. CST

    Transformers In Name Only = TINO

    by superninja

    <>

  • April 28, 2007, 1:53 p.m. CST

    re: wizard

    by rdsxfan8

    TINO= Transformers in name only. I believe it was what the original draft of the script was beign called ( or at least thats what ive picked up from reading all the posts in this TB) either that or its the idea of transformers being used for the name and not the origins of the characters....... but again im not really into the whole history of TF's so i could be reading into it a bit wrong...

  • April 28, 2007, 1:57 p.m. CST

    what was the name?

    by rdsxfan8

    of the transformer that was actually a gun and transformed into a robot ( i think I recall one of being in the cartoon) and will he be in the movie?

  • April 28, 2007, 2:08 p.m. CST

    How did the urination scene score?

    by superninja

    We MUST know.

  • April 28, 2007, 2:18 p.m. CST

    I think it's interesting that they don't let the

    by superninja

    screenings speak for themselves but have to constantly reassure everyone that it doesn't suck. Which means that it probably does suck quite a bit.

  • April 28, 2007, 2:24 p.m. CST

    i hope it rocks and bay has the pleasure of stealing

    by wcoop893

    all your money and laughing at all these talkbacks. actually i really dont care, but its be funny. im fairly certain im going to love it

  • April 28, 2007, 2:26 p.m. CST

    and by stealing i meant through ticket sales

    by wcoop893

    man im writing so akwardly

  • April 28, 2007, 2:31 p.m. CST

    Gosh, what will I do? Bay is so compelling its

    by superninja

    like I can't prevent my money from leaving my wallet! Not.

  • April 28, 2007, 2:33 p.m. CST

    Yack, like I mentioned, Armageddon was only

    by superninja

    guilty of bastardizing cliches. Now Bay is bastardizing what could've been a great franchise. I say we bring back the Inquisition.

  • April 28, 2007, 2:39 p.m. CST

    Yeah tell us what was the reaction to the PISSING SCENE

    by jegoing74

    I also want to know how the scene played? Any fart jokes and or masturbation jokes?

  • April 28, 2007, 2:41 p.m. CST

    bernie mac

    by rdsxfan8

    did the read that review right? were the words bernie mac and funny in the same sentence.... yeah that reviewer wasnt a plant or anything. bernie mac has never been funny in anything. whats actually funny about him is the amount of people who find him funny. for me this movie was one one those "well if i go and nothing else is playing it could be worth a shot" kinda films. now im not so sure. and anyone who says "Ill see all you haters at opening night" , well i got 2 words for ya. "NOT ME" if this movie opens on a fri I can honestly think of a few other things I will be doing that night. drinking a beer, conversing with a member of the oppostie sex ( their called woman people check them out, its how we procreate in this society) maybe even sleeping if nothing else is going on... back in the day, like oh IDK 10 yrs ago or so, you would have found me in a movie theater on a friday night catching whatever lastest SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER was out at the time, but as ya get older you reserve those special opening nights for films you truly feel that if ya miss out on seeing them the minute they open than your missing out on a lot. TF's just doesnt do it for me. Im not hating on anyone who is in fact there that day, hey more power to ya, but this movie kinda looks like its gonna do big $$ with or without me there so ill let you guys give Bay your hard earned moola. Ill prolly catch it at some point, just outta curiosity but opening night, no thanks!!!!

  • April 28, 2007, 2:47 p.m. CST

    "I saw two 15ish year old fat kids do a chest bump"

    by DarthCorleone

    That is the silliest thing I've ever read.

  • April 28, 2007, 2:53 p.m. CST

    messi

    by rdsxfan8

    maybe its me but I get so distracted by his lazy eye that I cant really pay attention to anything the man is saying.... and sure he was funny 10 yrs ago but thats just it, it was a long time ago. Im sure he is a funny guy, I mean he is after all a professional comedian and one of the "kings of comedy" so hes got that goign for him, I guess its all in a matter of taste. I just dont really find anything funny about him now... and I did like him in the first friday movie..... "can i get a lil something for my cataracts!!!!!!!" maybe I jumped the gun on him a lil bit but like i said as of late he isnt really that funny to me.

  • April 28, 2007, 2:54 p.m. CST

    welcome, superninja

    by moondoggy2u

    Looks like the whole gang is here, then. Anyone else find it suspicious that this movie has spent more time defending itself and keeping everything in secrecy rather than letting the process speak for itself? That alone should produce a blip on our radar screens, shouldn't it?

  • April 28, 2007, 2:57 p.m. CST

    rdsxfan8

    by moondoggy2u

    Dont back off too much, rd, because you were indeed right the first time. Yes, Bernie Mac is a relatively funny guy, but he's been coasting for quite some time, as far as I can tell.

  • April 28, 2007, 2:57 p.m. CST

    Murph promised the berg

    by Phategod2

    A mil? I dont know who'se the bigger douche murph for making the promise, or Spielberg for believing it.

  • April 28, 2007, 3 p.m. CST

    All I know is that if Steven were that interested in TF

    by moondoggy2u

    He would have done it himself. Hell, even Bay didn't want to do it either. Then again, that might not be saying much considering he didnt think Raiders of the Lost Ark was that good of a concept, either.

  • April 28, 2007, 3:01 p.m. CST

    do movies get

    by rdsxfan8

    previewed out here on the east coast. I mean I live in boston and I barely ever hear of a screening out here. maybe im just not at the right theaters at the right time, but I would like to think my opinion about something is just as good as someone on the west coasts.

  • April 28, 2007, 3:01 p.m. CST

    I meant "a bil?"

    by Phategod2

  • April 28, 2007, 3:02 p.m. CST

    Heya, moondoggy!

    by superninja

    Don't forget the outright deception by the filmmakers! That always wins people over.

  • April 28, 2007, 3:06 p.m. CST

    Murphy admitted to culling fan opinion for the movie.

    by superninja

    Polling the fans does not strike me as an act of creative genius. OT: saw Eragon last night. Boring! I suspect it followed the book very closely, though.

  • April 28, 2007, 3:07 p.m. CST

    off subject

    by rdsxfan8

    is anyoen watching the rox yanks game. im at work and have to settle for the internet game cast of it but the yanks just pulled their starting pitcher after only facing 2 batters. this is a good tiem to be a redsox fan, heheheheheh

  • April 28, 2007, 3:08 p.m. CST

    damn

    by rdsxfan8

    my typing is horrible today. we need a spell check on this thing dammit!!

  • April 28, 2007, 3:30 p.m. CST

    Since I have Blade Runner on the brain, I think

    by superninja

    I would have liked to see Cybertron represented as something along the lines of Blade Runner. A crumbling civilization ravaged by war. The crash land to Earth and the Decepticons want to remake what they have left behind here. DANG IT! There could have been so many layers to a TF movie that took the concept seriously!

  • April 28, 2007, 3:32 p.m. CST

    rdsxfan8

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Are you thinking of Shockwave perhaps?<P>My wife and I lament about moving away from Boston. The drinking-ist city in the world. Fenway was the shit!

  • April 28, 2007, 3:35 p.m. CST

    I am gratified he seemed to enjoy it so much.

    by Smashing

    This seems to happen with a lot of fan boys on a lot of films, constant declaring the end of the cinematic world over a movie then happily lapping it up upon release. I am stoked for this TF flick, like the original reviewer I also feel I have waited 20 years for this, I bet it wont disappoint. I also like Bays films, there action tastic and normally a good viewing. I sadly have never seen fat kids chest bumping, yet.

  • April 28, 2007, 3:37 p.m. CST

    I can't wait for Bay to fuck up Prince of Persia.

    by Galva

    How many X-Box advertisements can he cram into a movie set in the ancient middle east? Sigh...

  • April 28, 2007, 3:37 p.m. CST

    Classic case of lipstick on a pig.

    by superninja

    They only see the lipstick and then wake up one day and wonder where all the pigs came from.

  • April 28, 2007, 3:37 p.m. CST

    hwcbn

    by rdsxfan8

    yeah I think that might be the name i was lookign for. I just remember there being a transformer who was a gun or something. with the rating this film got and all the recent violence here and abroad I wasnt sure if they were gonna put that character in the movie.... and i totally agree fenway is def the shit. if ya have never been there ya gotta at least go once in your life. I dated a girl who absolutely hated sports and I took her there once. she loved it ( granted she brought a book to read during the game and was heckled mercilessly) but still. its just the atmosphere. I mean adding to the list of thigns i would rather do on a friday night other than seeing TF's in the theater, going to a sox game is def one of them. its not everyones cup of tea understandable but still worth doing if for nothign else than to say ya did it.

  • April 28, 2007, 3:44 p.m. CST

    TINO could have been great

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Oh, script, why doust thou suck so vehemently?<P>And why do these tools keep coming in here asking what TINO means and what the "precious" canon consists of? Haven't all of us had this conversation/debate several times now already? I have at least four times prior to this talkback myself. I grow tired of reiterating what the core story line was & could have been and thus I do not reply to such requests. <P>Revel in Hollywood's mediocrity and continue to call me an elitist. I prefer to be entertained/stimulated instead of pandered to. Clearly that is too much to ask. This could have been stellar on all accounts. Now it's merely a SFX presentation. I have a right, just like all of you out there, to my opinions and preferences. <P>Superninja said it best. Bay is an anti-intellectual.

  • April 28, 2007, 3:48 p.m. CST

    Fenway

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    We went as often as we could. Rode that damn T train into the city. Holy shit how the T made me sick.<P>Fenway defines atmosphere (in the since of stadium baseball that is) in my honest opinion. Got some pretty sweet seats more often than not since the company I worked for had nice "benefits" and my boss didn't like baseball. Sucker. My wife and I snatched those tickets everytime they were offered. Saw the All-Stars game there too. I'd say we partook in Fenway about 20-30 times during our four years there. Good memories of Tightness.

  • April 28, 2007, 3:48 p.m. CST

    I have been gone to the movies since I was a kid

    by emeraldboy

    a kid And I have seen all sorts of films from Blockbusters to arthouse to Westerns to indie cinema to foreign language movies. Not since reading about the making of hudson Hawk and the bonfire of the vanities or maybe even batman and robin, have I ever heard of a film being slated as continously as Transformers. From the production, the designs, the cast, the director and the script. All have been utterly slated and hacked to pieces, day by day since the green light was given to this film. I would like to point out I dont work for any film company and I have nothing to loose if this film either succeeds or fails. So I am no plant. Some want to see this film and some dont. Someone mentioned Terry Gilliam and Del toro. For Terry gilliam I have this to say. Bob and Harvey Weinstein. They destroyed Gilliam's Long and great Career by hacking his brothers grim movie to pieces, firing his Dop and his screen writer and veoting every decision he made. an example. Gilliam wanted Samantha Morton for the female role and he showed a picture of Sam morton to Bob Weinstein who bellowed back"do you think I want Mat Damon to fuck that. next". So the weinsteins made Gilliams life a misery. Then tideland came along which was cut-up by the press as being ode to paedofilia. Back to Transformers. I have noticed an agenda towards this film from some people. some of it is from the predictable anti-hollwood/ anti-studio-system crowd, Then there is the anti-bay crowd, who hate him personally and professionally. Lord of the rings and Star Wars are two types of Event films that we are likely never to see again. Even the hobbit will be a a one off. People who moan about films are what i would would regard as traditionalists. Film did change and lucas was the one who changed them. he pionerred the way we look at films and the way we see them. . I remember how I excited I was when resevoir dogs opened and How I wanted to see more he what he did in the future, Loved Pulp and Jackie brown and less so kill bill. I am annoyed at the mess of of Grindhouse. Which looks like it will be here on DVD, later in the year. back, to bay and His slated and hacked film. If you all dont demand better movies. Then the once great multiplexes will empty. once emptied they tend to stay that way. It has happened before and it will happen again. and no its not the fault of the Multi-plexes either. if they have no films to show, they will go out of business and quickly. if you all feel you can do any better, then start writing. get creative, go do a writing course or contribute to newsletter, one that has an editor. I am very lucky that I know an editor, already. I have cotributed stuff to our associations newsletter. and despite the berating I have gotten here. I have been told that I am very good.

  • April 28, 2007, 3:49 p.m. CST

    Don't forget the part about Bay being an asshole...

    by Galva

    Brian Singer doesn't even read comics, but when he got the X-Men job, he did his homework and did very well to respect what he was adapting. Micheal Bay on the other hand probably had the bare synopsis from Wikipedia read to him by an intern over a cell phone while driving an H2, coked out of his mind.

  • April 28, 2007, 3:52 p.m. CST

    Flames on Optimus = This Year's Little Miss Sunshine???

    by Admiral_Kirk

    Or Flames on Optimus = PLANT

  • April 28, 2007, 3:53 p.m. CST

    Michael Bay's directing that robot movie?

    by Jakes Nel

    I hope they get that cool robot they had in Rocky IV....

  • April 28, 2007, 3:54 p.m. CST

    Thanks to AICN

    by Phategod2

    everytime I think of Micheal Bay I will always imagine a mountain of coke piled next to him with his sister naked in the door way.

  • April 28, 2007, 3:55 p.m. CST

    Flames on Optimus...

    by Galva

    Hey, great disguise. A HUGE semi with an easily distinguishable paint job.

  • April 28, 2007, 4 p.m. CST

    emeraldboy

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    I only demand better with my wallet. I do not pay to see what I consider tripe. And I do understand what you just posted. But too many people just travel to the theater without plans. What should we see? That poster looks cool, let's see that. Case and point - a co-worker my wife works with. He loves film differently than I do. He is single and goes to the multiplex every weekend. He sees whatever is there. That's his choice, but you know he is not the only one in the nation that does this. He has even declared that he plans to see TINO for the big robots and to really see if its as bad as it sounds. If it sounds bad, then why waste the money to support bad filmmaking? But I digress. I don't know what has happened to Hollywood, and I don't care. I shouldn't have to become an industry person futilely attempting to change what is broken. I speak with my money, and films of this caliber do not get my ducats. Not attacking you. I get what you said and I am not disagreeing. Just addressing what you typed. It's frustrating. What was and what could have been. What has happened to Gilliam is atrotious. Don't get me started on the Weinsteins.

  • April 28, 2007, 4 p.m. CST

    Please get over the goddamn FLAMES!

    by Jakes Nel

    They're just flames! Not even real ones! Painted flames! On a robot! Disguised as a truck! Don't trucks have flames!?!

  • April 28, 2007, 4 p.m. CST

    maybe 300 million...

    by beatnikslacker

    if all the screens in the country pulled out every other movie being show and they were ONLY showing transformers. then, maybe 300 million. as it stands if faces heavy hitters opening before and potter opening 10 days later. no chance its gonna break 300, hell Ill go on record saying it wont break 200 million. bay wanted transformers to be more realistic, it dosent get anymore real than that.

  • April 28, 2007, 4:03 p.m. CST

    AUTISTIC KIDS ROCK!!!

    by TheUglyBaby

    (__)__)

  • April 28, 2007, 4:06 p.m. CST

    messi

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Children of Men was ignored because our society is primarily made up of dullards. The flim was ridiculously good and deserves all the praise levied towards it. Fucking Brilliant. And I hate the arguement "I don't want to have to think/read/ponder when I see a movie, I just want to veg out and have fun." All movies don't have to be riddled with substance. Morons. Then again, good filmmaking is determined by box office take, not content or substance. Hate to be a child and name call, but I label those with that mindset as such.

  • April 28, 2007, 4:09 p.m. CST

    Why is there.....

    by staticneuron

    always one person that screams plant in almost every review?

  • April 28, 2007, 4:15 p.m. CST

    I thought filmmaking was about art

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Artistic value of film has been lost for the most part. All these tools taking about how much money this movie will make. Who? Fucking? Cares? Murphy sneaks in here and posts to that "point". Good for you. You are a business man. You package shit for morons to buy. I understand that. But lying to a substantiated fanbase and thusly telling them to fuck off is tacky to say the least. I enjoy good films of all types. How much they cost to make and how well they do at the box office is irrelevant to me. Maybe I am missing something. I am enjoying the shit out of the Lone Wolf & Cub saga right now. Simple, low budget samurai flicks with more content/substance than all of your films combined Murphy. But you made shitloads of money, so I guess I am missing the point. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Bay and Murphy are not artists to me. They continue to miss how cool and allegorical this film franchise could have been. Elevate it past a toy commercial guys - it's possible. Your lack of intellectual capability shows.

  • April 28, 2007, 4:20 p.m. CST

    I personally believe this guy is not a plant

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    But what YackBacker relayed. A product of our society and school systems. I'm quite the simple fellow as proven via my posts, but that poor child needs help. Does anyone really believe he is a high school graduate? Are our school systems that bad now? Granted I was not challenged durning my schooling, but standards seem to have dropped drastically.

  • April 28, 2007, 4:21 p.m. CST

    hwcbn

    by rdsxfan8

    I totally agree with ya on that last post. but unfortuantely where the dullards rule. I mean look at our president. right there should be proof enough that the intellectuals are in the minority. of course there is always the case for "who are you to determine what is intelligent and what isnt and unfortuantely it comes down to a matter of taste. have yet to see children of men , but am def gonna hit that one on dvd. its good to see that even with all that crap that is being thrown at us in the theaters there are a few like minded people who still hold some value to seeing a movie that makes ya think. its like the idea that "oh that movies subtitled. I aint reading stuff while im watching a film" alot of people i know got turned off by pans labryithn based on that fact alone. I for one like a lil bit of both. movies cant be mindless all the time, ya gotta have the right balance of the two. sure I like kicking back every once in a while with an occassional dumb as hell but it sure as shit made me laugh kinda film, but I also like to take some heart ni knowing that seeing a film of serious nature, one that makes ya leave the theater with something to talk about and mull over, is just as enjoyable

  • April 28, 2007, 4:29 p.m. CST

    Exactly

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    What happened to talking about a film once it was over? Regardless of genre. What will be the discussions after this debacle? Weren't those robots cool? Great special effects! Sure was loud! One of the coolest aspects of TF was Starscream and Megatron exchanging sharp barbs. Is that in this film? Nope. They think one line of dialogue encapsulates this. Fools. Sounds like it still follows all the same "story beats" of the draft script. Sounds like GINO all over again.

  • April 28, 2007, 4:32 p.m. CST

    HWCBN hits the nail on the head

    by Phategod2

    Without a single major effect or over the top action sequence Children of men is one the greatest Sci-fi movies of last year. however it got looked over buy our society of dullards. who needs to be force fed Bays form of stylized stupidity. I dont doubt this movie will make its money back because as long they start ramming commercials down the america's throat they'll be fine. One more thing being as though I'm Philly fan Curt shilling will always be my hero. (The Sock was not painted)

  • April 28, 2007, 4:33 p.m. CST

    Oops

    by Phategod2

    Can I played by a Bald Avery Brooks in the movie.

  • April 28, 2007, 4:34 p.m. CST

    mr spork

    by rdsxfan8

    yeah how those cardinals doing this year? 10-12 thanks but ill take 15-7 anyday over that. and you can argue "its still early in the season" all ya want, but last time i checked you guys werent even 1st in your div let alone in the league...... take pujos outta that lineup and you guys really havent gotten much. we still got ortiz, ramirez, beckett, etc......

  • April 28, 2007, 4:44 p.m. CST

    Thanks Phategod2

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Not that I need validation, but I appreciate your thoughts nonetheless. As a film fan, I am not asking for too much. Why as substance been abandoned? My moronic ramblings rarely get a reply and as such I feel as if I am blathering pointlessly into the ether. Actually, I am. <P>Anyway, that sock was not painted. The audacity of some people.

  • April 28, 2007, 4:45 p.m. CST

    What the hell is with the sports talk?

    by Galva

    Seriously!

  • April 28, 2007, 4:50 p.m. CST

    it seems

    by rdsxfan8

    our sidetracking about sports has bothered some people. sorry bout that. i can talk sports movies, music, tv, all day. I like to think of myself as a well rounded individual devoid of just one area of interest. ill save any further sports remarks for AM radio....

  • April 28, 2007, 4:51 p.m. CST

    i see all the fanatical cartoon fans are out in force

    by bongo123

    proclaming michael bay to be the devil who yet again burns our memorys of a fucking 80's cartoon show in the pits of hell!!!! for fuck sakes, listenin to you lot is like listening to some cunt from the westboro baptist church except instead of signs saying burn in hell fags, your holding ones with michael bay on em!!! he makes movies, he doesnt traffic in drugs or kids, yet for some reason you lunatics have elevated him upto public enemy no. 1.. and his crime? turning a cartoon show from 80's that had generic storylines, terrible designs, animation and cheesey lines into a fucking movie thats geared towards todays generation of kids and you geekoids cant fucking stand it, shouldnt you just sit back, put on your optimus prime pj's and be thankful that they actually made a movie thats fucking ludicrus in its actual premise, i.e. cars that turn into big robots, you should be thankful the bloody thing was actually made and from looking at trailers, looks to have been made great!!!!! but sure you'll still harp on about how bay is satan and transformers was "the" show from the 80's and i'll still come on and remind you all to grow the fuck up... man i love TF talkbacks, great stuff

  • April 28, 2007, 4:53 p.m. CST

    I wish 1000 Mitch williams

    by Phategod2

    on anyone who says the sock was painted. But seriously I feel like I've been jumping up and down saying the same thing ever since the pic of prime in truck form leaked total lack of respect thats whats going on. We've all said the same thing this movie is being made for Bays "Special" audience the lowest common Denominator with all thats already been said, I hang out here simply for the ambiance. And I cant wait to see what off-topic sidebar discussions will pop up and how many like minded individuals pop-up. Until then I'll just make snarky remarks about this "movie" anyone remember the Flames on Optimus bit from months back, good times man, good times.

  • April 28, 2007, 5:07 p.m. CST

    Elevate it past the toys and cartoon

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    other writers have done so, why couldn't the screenwriters? Rhetorical question.

  • April 28, 2007, 5:15 p.m. CST

    Paramount should make this TB a bonus for the DVD.

    by The Artist FKA Vesuvio

    This is the best talkback ever. I almost felt from my chair several times while reading and laughing histerically at it. Kudos, my brothers. Kudos. Specially you Style92. You should get a medal for that one, and a little dance act too.

  • April 28, 2007, 5:40 p.m. CST

    Wouldn't that make Star wars

    by Phategod2

    A 10 Hour infomercial?

  • April 28, 2007, 5:48 p.m. CST

    Hands up, every Talkbacker who's not a plant...

    by Pan_Krator

    I bought THE ISLAND on DVD -- and was duly disappointed. Couldn't even bring myself to give it away and make someone *else* disappointed also. (Not a plant, BTW.)

  • April 28, 2007, 5:50 p.m. CST

    TINO? Oh, yeah!

    by SylarTheCylon

    Is the sequel out already? So shiat la beuf is in this one as the main good girl? And they use THE SOUND SAMPLE. I can't believe that, how original and benevolent of them to grant us that. And one of the robots has a distant similarity to Optimus Prime! Albeit flames come outta his ass when he talks, and he has a vagina. Or maybe he talks outta his ass and flames come outta his vagina, or the other way around, i can't really remember how that went. TINO is the second movie franchise in history where the bad guy has a vagina on his face! I always wanted to see that again and hear the cra cra cra cre sample again, so i'm gonna pay the excessive ticket price to see this gem. You can count on me, bay. I swear on optimu's vagina.

  • April 28, 2007, 5:55 p.m. CST

    whats the first ?

    by Phategod2

    Predator.

  • April 28, 2007, 6:01 p.m. CST

    Megan Fox is getting nailed by Brian Austin Green??!?

    by NutsackMemories

    ...unbelievable.

  • April 28, 2007, 6:01 p.m. CST

    Hey now

    by magnetoelectric

    Dont lump Predator in there.Sure he has a pussy face but hes still a pretty good guy.PS if you tell Predator he has a PussFace the next thing you say might be "Kill me now!"

  • April 28, 2007, 6:09 p.m. CST

    unless your Danny glover

    by Phategod2

    ;)

  • April 28, 2007, 6:39 p.m. CST

    Superman:Doomsday DVD Trailer

    by magnetoelectric

    http://tinyurl.com/ys9gyl

  • April 28, 2007, 6:44 p.m. CST

    That wasn't a plant, it was a whole ecosystem!

    by Harry Weinstein

    Positive, negative, I don't care. That review was faker than fuck. It read like a marketing intern trying desperately to imitate the sub-literate garbage that all-too-frequently passes for the English language around here, with a checklist of key phrases to include in order to re-enforce his or her authenticity. If I'm wrong, and I'm smack-talking an actual human being who exists and is demonstrably real, I apologize for doubting your existence... now go and bone up on English and writing and so on. It might seem like I'm busting your balls, assuming you actually exist, but not sounding like a total idiot when you write something is well worth the effort. Don't rape the language, make love to it. It's more enjoyable for everyone that way, and if you make sweet love to a language often enough, then that language won't mind the occasional assfucking, because that assfucking is taking place in the context of a loving relationship.

  • April 28, 2007, 6:48 p.m. CST

    tom bodet

    by rdsxfan8

    yeah wakefield never gets the run support he deserves. he usually has a great era but his w-l record is usually worse than it looks.

  • April 28, 2007, 6:49 p.m. CST

    edryder

    by rdsxfan8

    whose the voice over for superman??? I didnt even bother to look at the credits for it but it sounds liek patrick warburton. I liked him as the tick btw....

  • April 28, 2007, 6:54 p.m. CST

    TBS advertising FOTR "It sucks to be Frodo!"

    by S-Mart shopper

    LMAO!<p>Reminds me of the fake trailers on ebaumsworld...great stuff!

  • April 28, 2007, 6:55 p.m. CST

    Sadly Its Adam Baldwin

    by magnetoelectric

    ...yeah

  • April 28, 2007, 7:07 p.m. CST

    thanks for the Superman/Doomsday link

    by INWOsuxRED

    sadly it seems to be about what I expected, and I mean that in a bad way.

  • April 28, 2007, 7:13 p.m. CST

    Yeah,I hear ya

    by magnetoelectric

    Still got Justice League The New Frontier to look forward to tho..next year...

  • April 28, 2007, 7:32 p.m. CST

    Emerald Boy and messi

    by Talkbacker with no name

    EB - I take it back, I take it all back! you are a fucking mental case! Firstly you should listen to Gilliam's commentary on 'grimm'. You will learn a lot more than you think you already know about the movie. I think I liked you better when you were taking info from empire magazine and then quoting it as your own followed by some random sentence from your mad brainbox. And I hope you used a spell check when you "cotributed stuff" to your associations newsletter. And what the fuck is the Spiderman series if it isn't a big Hollywood event series on the scale of star wars and lotr? You think we will never see movies on the star wars/lotr scale again? I got a love/hate thing with you, and right now I really want to wring your bloody neck! <p>messi, you said "maybe in the future a children of men will be the box office winner". Children of Men is the 'future', mate :)

  • April 28, 2007, 7:32 p.m. CST

    Plant. Next!

    by uss cygnus

    Welcome to the fertilizer farm.

  • April 28, 2007, 7:42 p.m. CST

    still no other reviews

    by rdsxfan8

    why no other reviews from this screening???? there had to be someone else at this screening that has something even remotely intelligent to say about this film. Im sure NOT everyone who saw this screening feels exactly the same way, and I wonder if anyone else saw the 2 15 yr olds bump chests???

  • April 28, 2007, 7:48 p.m. CST

    photoboy

    by dragon-lord

    No, they aren't negative scoops about TINO, but I see your point. Since I work in the film business, these were legitimate scoops about major projects with big name stars. Sure, I sent them under different names than this! I'm not stupid. But I know first hand it's not just me! For example, I know the industry vet who tipped off AICN & IESB.net about a new Poe project circling Johnny Depp (!) called FOREVERMORE. AICN never followed up, but IESB managed to get hold of the script and even got a review up! That review got me interested in knowing more about that project (script done). I can list a half dozen more examples. Isn't that what this site is for? Or has it just become a thinly veiled studio shill...a web plantformer?! I hope not. But this "review" above is just drivel. Really, painfully obvious. Is this a real scoop if it's just a bad studio plant targeting the biggest site first for maximum fertilization?

  • April 28, 2007, 7:49 p.m. CST

    Shia Labouf as Bilbo in The Hobbit!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by Forestal

    Directed by Michael Bay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • April 28, 2007, 7:54 p.m. CST

    Ganymede 2010

    by Phategod2

    "Giving you dumb ass quotes since 11/06"

  • April 28, 2007, 7:54 p.m. CST

    DocPazuzu agent oranged this thing better than anyone

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    I couldn't have said it better how incredibly defunct the Hollywood Intelligence Forces are. They continue to send out these deplorably trained field operatives that without fail proceed to get executed with clockwork regularity by the Talkback squads. They need to start setting aside a budget for this thing and overhaul their Plant McPlantypants recruitment and/or training program, or the bloodletting (sap-letting?) will go on unabated.

  • April 28, 2007, 8:16 p.m. CST

    Parents whowere kids when theshow was aired confused?

    by LeviDTinker

    My favorite part of this, was when he wrote "I looked around and many of the older moms/dads didn't quite get it, but their kids seemed to know the score. I saw two 15ish year old fat kids do a chest bump…alas, I had no one to chest bump- but I totally would have!" i find that funny because the parents in that theatre most likely were kids,preteens or teens when the transformers were first on the air. so i find it highly unlikely that the parents would have no freaking clue what the transformers were. And iam sorry but a 15 year old Chest bumping cause its this movie give me a break he wasnt even a glimmer in his mothers eye when the transformers were on the air. i also like how its mostly a positive review except for one or two things and the way its worded is done in a way that tries to make you think they are just a average person watching a test screening.

  • April 28, 2007, 8:35 p.m. CST

    This is the bullshit TF Fans have been waiting for?!?!?

    by jegoing74

    Damn, just damn......... http://boards.transformersmovie.com/showthread.php?t=98

  • April 28, 2007, 9:08 p.m. CST

    who is Shia Labouf screwing to get these parts anyway?

    by theef

    transformers,Indy 4...I mean..come on...this guy was in Dumb and Dumber 2 and should have stayed there whatever that means.

  • April 28, 2007, 9:09 p.m. CST

    Lots of venom about the Time article

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    http://tinyurl.com/3asqho<P>whoops. I rarely visit seiberton.com, but it seems as if there's quite a bit of disdain over there as well. Probably not news to you guys. I hope Bay doesn't get "hand picked" for the sequels.....

  • April 28, 2007, 9:10 p.m. CST

    Reboot

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Reboot now. Oh, we have to wait another two decades. Perhaps this film should have never been made....

  • April 28, 2007, 9:31 p.m. CST

    Transformers Begins

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    Reboot coming June 2056.

  • April 28, 2007, 9:33 p.m. CST

    People cheered at the TRAILER today

    by Big Dumb Ape

    I caught a packed showing of HOT FUZZ today (which was great by the way, definitely check it out) and of all the majr summer movie trailers they showed only one generated a true emotional rise out of the audience. Yep, TRANSFORMERS. Once it was over a very sizable chunk of the theater broke into applause and started cheering and whooping it up.<p>So I don't get some of these people around here who are seemingly in denial. I don't get some of you who are trying to claim that no one wants to see this because its a Michael Bay summer movie where a ton of shit goes boom (frankly I think that's exactly what a large segment of the population DOES want to get out of the house and see in the heat of the summer, but that's a whole other debate) or are claiming that no one will want to see this because its been TINO-ized. This was like the third time I've seen the trailer in a theater and every time people go totally nuts for it.<p>Other than POTC3, I'm going to guess that TF will have the biggest opening of the year by far, if not set an all new opening record. Based on just the trailer's reaction it's clear that a lot of people are looking forward to this thing and making it their Fourth of July/holiday movie out. I think there's no denying at this point that this thing is gonna be huge no matter how much the naysayers try to bag on it in advance.

  • April 28, 2007, 9:50 p.m. CST

    Nobody said no one is going to see this

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    This movie will shit money on opening night to paraphrase another TBer. Just those of us who enjoy strong character development and substance in film will not pay - a very small minority that doesn't factor into the equation. Most of the movie going moron crowds like shit like this. Statistics prove. Bay is successful for that reason alone. <P>I remember seeing a trailer for Unforgiven before watching Alien3 when I was a teen. People cheered when Clint turned around for the first time. I doubt TINO will have the lasting impact Unforgiven did. But what do I know, I'm just an elitist asshole who doesn't appreciate being pandered to. <P>Did any 15 year old tubbies do a chest bump?

  • April 28, 2007, 10:02 p.m. CST

    Just because a movie makes money...

    by Lucasblows

    ...doesn't mean it's not crap. For examples see Fantastic Four and Ghost Rider. And at the risk of setting off another debate, you can look at all three Star Wars prequels (Yes, all three. ROTS included).

  • April 28, 2007, 10:24 p.m. CST

    Yes, but Bay is a better director than Lucash (?)

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    What does that even mean? Who would say something like that? And why? They're both toolboxes. Those prequels were trash. I keep hopeing the next would make up for the previous. Alas, all three sucked save for Portman's hotness, and Maul (too soon!).

  • April 28, 2007, 10:41 p.m. CST

    Agreed

    by RadWon

    The studios seem to confuse megabucks with quality filmmaking but you can't blame them, it's what keeps them employed regardless of how mind-numbing the flick is. Make 'em as simple and easy to grasp and the sheep will come running, cash in hand. I gotta say I hate Lucas too. After Star Wars, he slowly lost the plot when he saw how much more moolah he could make by becoming a merchandising whore. Hell he's been making selling the same shit for last 30 years and that's just the toys. ESB is my favorite movie but you can't really say it was Lucas' film. And Star Wars was a combination of Kurosawa films but he did so much with it. And don't get me start with the 'Pre-Star Wars' Trilogy...

  • April 28, 2007, 10:44 p.m. CST

    And...

    by RadWon

    I would love to see someone/anyone like Genndy T do the Pre-Star Wars trilogy 'Clone Wars' style. We didn't deserve that shit.

  • April 28, 2007, 10:54 p.m. CST

    "I doubt TINO will have the impact Unforgiven did"

    by Big Dumb Ape

    Aside from bringing home a pair of golden boys for Clint at the time (which I'm sure put a big, big smile on his face, which only makes sense since compared to you or me, he actually had a personal stake in the thing), just WHAT is this "lasting impact" that UNFORGIVEN has had? At this point in time who the hell remembers very much about the movie except the trivia that it finally brought home an Oscar to Clint? Last I checked there weren't too many UNFORGIVEN revival festivals or people talking about it around the water cooler going "If only they still made movies like UNFORGIVEN." Not to mention, for fuck's sake, we're talking about a movie where the dramatic core is fucking trucks and cars having their parts move about so they can transform into big robots that then want to beat the shit out of each other at which point mayhem and carnage ensues. It's not like this is supposed to be some insanely deep psycho-babble self-introspection Igmar Bergman/Fellini-esque kind of movie. You want this to be like Unforgiven? For crying out loud, this is about BIG ASS ROBOTS PUNCHING EACH OTHER. Yes, that's the level of how deep this is.<p>Besides your argument about TF not having any lasting impact is certainly more half-assed considering the movie hasn't even come out yet. Safe to say, it's a little hard to judge what "impact" any movie will have until well after its actually been out and time has passed. Which brings up a whole other point: what if TF is NOT Citizen Kane in terms of story, but IS simply a revolutionary kick-ass ride that influences an entire new generation of younger kids and makes them want to get into movies or into special effects work or into science or robotics or whatever? What qualifies as having more "lasting impact" then? The movie that simply left a nice memory on you because you thought its dramatics were good OR the movie that actually got kids so excited and pumped up that it actually motivated them down the road?

  • April 28, 2007, 10:54 p.m. CST

    Nobody deserved that shit

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    I personally feel I, along with many outspoken other, do not deserve TINO. I would have rather had no film at all than this garbage. Unfortunately, as you so succinctly put it, it's all about the money instead of the craft.

  • April 28, 2007, 10:55 p.m. CST

    Telling stories about people that don't stay dead?

    by superninja

    Lame. Never liked Doomsday. I'm sure the Superhaters will be gleeful to see Supes get beaten to death, though.

  • April 28, 2007, 10:57 p.m. CST

    Although, it is hard to top Bryan Singer's effort.

    by superninja

    But I'm sure they'll try.

  • April 28, 2007, 10:59 p.m. CST

    YACKBACKERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!....

    by nonsensical

    hello. <p> <p> Just to make it so that all the old crew were here on the same day... I'm poting. <p> Now, I've been thinking. Maybe this is a real review and maybe this guy isn't a plant per say, but I do think he is a complete moron and a liar. I don't believe he was even remotely a fan of the original Transformers, and I don't think he would be able to tell a good movie from the hole in his ass. <p> I think fans have certain expectations for films of this nature and more and more studios are looking at that and just casting it aside. The entire Transformers Movie, the making Galactus a cloud, and Just down right ignoring nearly 90% of the core characters from which these films are being made. Eventually, this is going to backfire and a studio will loose big. <p> Unfortunatly it means that "comic book" films like this are going to suffer or go away instead of the studios looking back at their mistakes and learning from them. <p> What can you do...

  • April 28, 2007, 11:02 p.m. CST

    They're not confused. It's just that they want to

    by superninja

    make money and smart films tend to do less BO.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:08 p.m. CST

    Let me put it this way, no one is asking for a

    by superninja

    navel-gazing cerebral version of Transformers. Raiders is an example of a well-made action film that pays attention to story and character. It's about something and does not treat their audience like idiots. It's well crafted, and it made enormous amounts of money and is beloved for its excellence. When you craft a great myth or story married to great visuals you not only make money, you make TONS of it. ENORMOUS amounts. So while they are perfectly capable of churning out mediocre films at a clip, if they want to make real money, they would pay more attention to crafting better stories. Hollywood is not that big of a place, they should stop letting the same individuals work on these kinds of films because they made a few hits based on mediocrity.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:15 p.m. CST

    Speilberg is the King you Morons

    by runfoodrun

    Stop knocking the man, what you have a problem with his lastest films which ones are bad tell me: WOTW? Munich? CMIYC, Minority Report? Tell how these movies suck, and don't just say they suck. WOTW, terrifying far more scary than Saw or Hostel or any of the so-called horror films out today, Munich, fucking great, and CMIYC is a classic. I get alot of people didn't love MR, but it's still good sci-fi, name something else if you can.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:17 p.m. CST

    Besides, why try for something hard

    by moondoggy2u

    when simple brings you more dough? In any case, Bay isnt exactly the type to push an envelope--the man is a refugee of the MTV generation and it shows in everything he does and seemingly stands for as is a LACK of intellectualism, respect, or depth. As someone noted earlier, Superninja had the best assessment: Bay is an anti-intellectual.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:24 p.m. CST

    I agree Speilberg is king

    by Lucasblows

    He's made some of my favorite films. I wish he was directing and not just producing on this film. But, the crappiness of Michael Bay will devour Speilberg's greatness on this film. You can see it happening. I'm still trying to see why Michael Bay ended up with this in the first place. After all The Island nearly sunk Dreamworks.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:26 p.m. CST

    Minority Report is a boring Tom Cruise movie and a very

    by superninja

    visually weak adaptation of Dick's book. That's how the Berg does cyberpunk, I guess...snore...AI. Speilberg just could not do the ending needed. Speiblerg is no Kubrick, that's for sure. He should stick to making intelligent action films like Raiders and not pontificate on politics and culture.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:29 p.m. CST

    I wasn't comparing Unforgiven to TINO

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    I was merely making an observation of what people "cheered" for fifteen years ago and what people "cheer" for now. You missed my point and proved my point. Doesn't matter.<P>If TINO motivates children to get into the industry, hopefully they will not follow Bay's formula and actually create.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:31 p.m. CST

    I don't know that Berg would've made a good

    by superninja

    TF. He seems to have no joy of film like he did earlier in his career. He's lost it, maybe he just ran out of things to say? I think that's natural. His younger self would've made a killer TF movie just like a younger Lucas could've. Before they became cinematografo castrato. Hee hee.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:34 p.m. CST

    Lucasblows and superninja

    by runfoodrun

    I agree, I wish Spielberg was directing, when he's having fun and giving us some popcorn movie fun, he's as his best, can't wait for INdy 4, and the sci-fi film that C. Nolan's brother is scripting, can you imagine, as long as Koep stays away from it...

  • April 28, 2007, 11:38 p.m. CST

    "I wasn't comparing Unforgiven to TINO"

    by Big Dumb Ape

    Wait a minute. Let me get this total back-peddling straight. FIRST you say "I wasn't comparing Unforgiven to TINO", but THEN you say "I was merely making an observation of what people cheered for 15 years ago and what people cheer for now."<p>You know, I hate to break this concept to you, but making an observation on how something was in the past against how it is in the modern day would be the very DEFINITION of "comparing."

  • April 28, 2007, 11:40 p.m. CST

    He produced Disturbia as well. What is his Shia

    by superninja

    fixation I wonder? In my opinion, Spielberg has only made a handful of outstanding films. They are really good - some of the best - but most of his other stuff while no doubt well-crafted is not at the same level as the other films. There are others I would rate higher.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:41 p.m. CST

    What if the movie transcends the script?

    by Style_92

    The script had too many cheesy "pop culture references." That was it's big downfall. Most of the characters were right and there was a pretty spine of a story there.<br> <br> Sometimes, a movie can be better than the script. I call STAR WARS ROTS as an example. could it even be possible?<br> <br> I mean, the meatiest, most valid complaint the TINO crowd have is that "the script sucked and was pandering." I'll agree. And I'm not in denial. I know the movie is still based on the prime directive script. I'm just saying, with a little nipping and tucking, exchanging lesser dialouge for better dialouge, (the review indicates that Starscream and Megatron have a moment, which definatly WASN'T in the script) could this basic story still make a good transformers movie?<br> <br> And no, I don't consider redesigns a valid point against the movie. If live-action Batman had Black Body Armor, Live action Spidey had organic shooters, Live action X-men had uniforms instead of their normal outfits, live action Daredevil was into S&M, Live action Superman wore a thong, and live action Galactus is a Cloud-then I think redesigned transformers was just inevitable and something we have to accept. So the question is, how are the characters, how is the story?

  • April 28, 2007, 11:44 p.m. CST

    I remember reading that spielberg...

    by Style_92

    wanted to be onboard for Transformers because he thought it would be a great way to hearken back to the films of the 80s, his and Lucas's early career. Films like Raiders, ET and the Star Wars OT. And I think, that's still what they're trying to do with this, whether it succeeds or not.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:44 p.m. CST

    Outstanding Spielberg Films

    by runfoodrun

    Here's my list: Jaws CEOTTK ET Color Purple Raiders Jurasic Park Shindler's List Saving Private Ryan CMIYC Personal Favs that might not make that list: Duel WOTW Munich AI let's not forget the movies this man has produced as well, lots of classic from my childhood Goonies Poltergist etc So name another director who has had this much success...

  • April 28, 2007, 11:44 p.m. CST

    Outstanding Spielberg Films

    by runfoodrun

    Here's my list: Jaws CEOTTK ET Color Purple Raiders Jurasic Park Shindler's List Saving Private Ryan CMIYC Personal Favs that might not make that list: Duel WOTW Munich AI let's not forget the movies this man has produced as well, lots of classic from my childhood Goonies Poltergist etc So name another director who has had this much success...

  • April 28, 2007, 11:47 p.m. CST

    arguing for spielberg is pointless

    by Style_92

    No matter what he's done, he's only a producer on TF, so he didn't have a big input. (In fact, I think his biggest input was deciding that Bumblebee needed to be the autobot star of the film and a sort of giant, kick-ass version of ET.)

  • April 28, 2007, 11:47 p.m. CST

    Also...

    by runfoodrun

    I'm not a huge Bay fan, but with Spielberg I think this could be great, and I think Bay is the perfect choice, also thought Bay should have directed Superman Returns...

  • April 28, 2007, 11:49 p.m. CST

    Actually a producer

    by runfoodrun

    is the person who lays out the vision for the movie, gets the talent on both side of the camera together, gets the money, and makes it happen...and after the Island, I imagine Bay is on a short lease, even though it was likely the marketing team that killed that film not Bay

  • April 28, 2007, 11:50 p.m. CST

    His best film is still Raiders to me. Followed

    by superninja

    by Jaws, Empire of the Sun and Jurassic Park. That's my list, anyway.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:50 p.m. CST

    Maybe I'm stupid...

    by Style_92

    But I always thought of a producer as more of a money person, just arranging the contracts for everyone involved. And that the director was the one who's creative vision prevailed.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:51 p.m. CST

    TINO! Get thy "TINO!" shirts here

    by finky089

    http://tinyurl.com/362bou <p> http://tinyurl.com/2pppfg <p> Ganymede, here's one for you- Make sure to take the space out of the URL. <p> http://www.zazzle.com/product/ 235570361966912093 <p> <p> And yeah, I'm only doing this for the ridiculous fun of it. I'm not even buying one of these, so I certainly don't expect anyone else would actually spend their cash on it.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:51 p.m. CST

    Empire of the Sun

    by runfoodrun

    wow, I forgot about that one...Sugarland Express is one film I'd like to see him remake...

  • April 28, 2007, 11:52 p.m. CST

    The basis story is so cliched and inappropriately

    by superninja

    focused that I would say no. The heart of the story is really Shia's character trying to get laid. Layered on that is a story something like Masters of the Universe crossed with National Treasure.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:53 p.m. CST

    IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT "TINO" MEANS BY NOW

    by finky089

    just stop reading these talkbacks.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:54 p.m. CST

    Producer

    by runfoodrun

    Totally depends on the production, Rick Bergman produces Star Trek and those are totally his vision regardless of director, when someone like Ridley Scott directs, then it's his vision. I've worked on enough stuff where the producer prevails, they spend the money, they get what they want...

  • April 28, 2007, 11:54 p.m. CST

    The producer is the guy who gets the money guys

    by superninja

    on board. But with Berg his influence could extend further into the creative process. I'm sure you've heard the story about Jon Peters and his giant spider?

  • April 28, 2007, 11:55 p.m. CST

    Speaking of Jurrassic Park, SN...

    by Style_92

    I envision that's what Transformers is going to be like. In the theaters, it'll kick ass, be a fun adventure, and have people buzzing, "I've NEVER seen anything on film LIKE THAT before." Then, 8 years later, you boot up the dvd and start watching, and realize, "geez, that didn't hold up well, did it?"<br> <br> At this point, my high hopes are for TF part 2. full scale autobot-on-decepticon war on earth! Then, part three, UNICRON INVADES, And the humans, the autobots, and the decepticons have to all work together to destroy unicron before he destroys earth. Sort of like Return of the Jedi meets Armageddon. With Optimus Prime deep in the core of Unicron, confronting a disturbingly altered version of Megatron known as Galvatron...

  • April 28, 2007, 11:56 p.m. CST

    ganymede2010:

    by MarkoOhNo

    An audience of one.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:57 p.m. CST

    Why make a Transformers movie when the TF are not

    by superninja

    the main characters? All they've succeeded in doing is making a great special effect. Big deal - that is not something new, don't believe it when they claim they are showing you something new. They are showing you a new effect, that's all. It's window dressing - if the story and character are no good it's all for naught. However, now you have people who will praise a movie because of one excellent effects sequence when the rest of the film is mediocre at best, pure crap at worst.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:57 p.m. CST

    I am a producer

    by runfoodrun

    Although I can only claim a few small movies, believe me, when I produce I'm in charge, I make sure I get the director who can bring the script to life, but at the end of the day it's my vision because they are my investors.

  • April 28, 2007, 11:59 p.m. CST

    ehh, that "get laid" stuff is mostly at the beginning.

    by Style_92

    After Prime shows up, it mostly becomes "WHERE THE HELL ARE THOSE ENGRAVED GLASSES YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!!!" <br> <br> I'll go on record as saying I would have preferred live action "more than meets the eye," but I know that a movie that was almost all transformers with only marginal humans would have been at least 150 million dollars more expensive than the one we're getting is. So, I'm willing to cut the filmmakers a break on that one.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:03 a.m. CST

    Confession: I don't like Unicron.

    by superninja

    I actually don't care for what Unicron attempts. It's cool in the TF movie and all, but the Autobot City sequence is still the best part to me. I don't like mysticism in TF or when they attempt to explain their creation. Just leave well enough alone, hahah. Unicron is the Devil, the Matrix is a god force collective of ancestors? Eeek!

  • April 29, 2007, 12:04 a.m. CST

    Why TINO Is Best Seen On A Computer Screen (BitTorrent)

    by MarkoOhNo

    1) You may have to pause the film to vomit periodically, particularly when Shia LaBeouf speaks. 2) You may often find yourself wanting to skip a scene, or perhaps a 15 minute chunk of the film. 3) The cost of a free download is much simpler than waiting in line to see the theater's manager while trying to get your money back after the film. 4) You don't have to pay $10 on the gas it costs to drive a few miles to the theater.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:07 a.m. CST

    Unicron is one-shot-

    by Style_92

    Because, honestly, he's just a big robo-galactus. And if he did show up in a movie, they'd have to leave him in planet mode, having him in planet-sized robot mode would just be too silly.<br> <br> Ideally, they'd play him as "V'Ger meets the death star," and hint at some tie the all spark and the creation of the transformers. it would be about Megatron making a pact with Unicron and Prime tracking him down, and nearly killed. Meanwhile, all the humans and Autobots would rage full scale war by utilizing every nuke on planet earth to kill this fucker.<br> <br> Speaking of the TF "mysticism" where do you fall? created by quintessons, or created by primus? among transformers circles, this is the "Creation vs. Evolution" debate...

  • April 29, 2007, 12:08 a.m. CST

    They just made the same damn Michael Bay movie

    by superninja

    they always make, but with giant robots. I'm fine with human characters. They could've made it a story about the human characters and who they choose to side with and why. That is actually the allure of the cartoon. That would've been an intelligent approach in line with the high concept. Instead we have something that very closely resembles the Masters of the Universe misfire.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:10 a.m. CST

    Cost analysis

    by Style_92

    $10 movie ticket, $10 theater food, $10 gass. $30.<br> Download TF, get caught, pay $3000 fine. <br> Do you really want your credit ruined over this movie?

  • April 29, 2007, 12:13 a.m. CST

    Superninja

    by MarkoOhNo

    Exactly. Exactly. My only question is, why isn't James Tolkan in this one?? He should be playing Sparkplug... or maybe Bernie Mac's character. "Eat lead, slackers!!!"

  • April 29, 2007, 12:13 a.m. CST

    Of course it does, Style. That is actually what

    by superninja

    TF is about. They mirror the two major colliding worldviews. Of course the TF were created. They are clearly designed. :)

  • April 29, 2007, 12:14 a.m. CST

    Correct me if I'm wrong...

    by Style_92

    But I thought the script very much is about the humans choosing sides with whom and why. You're assertion that the human story is just about Shia getting laid is, forgive me, a bit of a STRAW MAN. you're forgetting about all the government and sector seven stuff. <br> <br> In the cartoons, almost all the humans sided with the autobots. The only one who side with the decepticons, I think, was Dr. Archeville. And he got boned by Megatron, then really, really boned by Starscream.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:15 a.m. CST

    Well, they were created,

    by Style_92

    but by whom? it was either the quintessons or Primus.<br> <br> It is interesting that in the script someone suggests that the TFs may have just evolved, they way humans did...

  • April 29, 2007, 12:19 a.m. CST

    Style_92

    by MarkoOhNo

    Only 12 year old girls get targeted for that sort of thing. lol Seriously though, having majored in Political Science for a year and aced Copyright Law, I can tell you the only people who are ever actually targeted, investigated and charged are people with MASSIVE libraries; other targets simply aren't cost effective. (Yes, it costs money to enforce the law.) If you use a service which charges for use (as BitTorrent has done for over a year now), it's very difficult for a case to be made against you.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:21 a.m. CST

    Quintessons lie. Regularly, it is part of their

    by superninja

    character to be contrary, so they seem like they would take credit for their evolution even though they aren't responsible. Its kind of like the Blade Runner arguement. And who created the Quintessons anyway? I still like it better than the Primus/Unicron thing, though. That's just a goofy mess.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:24 a.m. CST

    Not really, Style. The film centers around Spike

    by superninja

    and his lust for Megan Fox's character. And they get caught up looking for the Cosmic Key and find romance! The Sector 7 guys are like men in black, all the robots are the same to them and they're chasing the humans. They're also fluff for the script and relatively pointless.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:24 a.m. CST

    A Better End For Your Post...

    by MarkoOhNo

    Movie ticket: $10... Theater food: $10... Gas: $10... Streaking across the silver screen while chanting, "TINO!! TINO!!" during the premiere: priceless. lol

  • April 29, 2007, 12:25 a.m. CST

    Well, the quintessons...

    by Style_92

    are a biological, squid-like life form. So, they don't have to have a "who created them" story. It's the same as humans. Either God made them or they evolved. <br> <br> Besides, I don't think it was the quintessons who claimed to have created the Transformers. I think Rodimus Prime, (always sounded like a Cybertronian Porno name to me) discovered it on a spiritual journey inside the matrix or something.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:28 a.m. CST

    If I hear TINO uttered once while I go see this thing.

    by Style_92

    I'm killing every fucker in the theater. More on a matter of principle. Internet shit belongs on the internet, it shouldn't leak into the real world.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:31 a.m. CST

    Trust Me

    by MarkoOhNo

    Some fool out there is gonna get drunk in line, try it, and break his neck falling before anyone can kill him. :P

  • April 29, 2007, 12:31 a.m. CST

    What I'm hearing Superninja

    by Style_92

    is that you resent the movie NOT focusing exclusively on the transformers. I know, I can see that point. but there are two things here: 1.) it just makes sense to structure this as a "creature" movie. Why? builds up dramatic tension towards seeing the TFs on screen in their full glory. It's a way of making people TUNED IN and WANTING to get the whole story. Part of me thinks that if the audience were just dropped into the middle of the Cybertron war, they'd be lost. 2.) Cost effectiveness. CGI these dudes is expensive. a movie focusing on the TFS throughout would just have to be an all CGI movie, like the recent TMNT. And it's nice, but not the same as a live action movie.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:32 a.m. CST

    Besides, my suggestion was how I would approach

    by superninja

    the film, I was not saying that it was depicted that way in the cartoon. Most people sided with the Autobots once they found out the difference between the two factions. The exceptions I think being Arkeville and Cobra. However, I think in real life, more people would side with the Decepticons.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:33 a.m. CST

    Sort of like Batman Begins...

    by Style_92

    "I was robbed of my revenge..."

  • April 29, 2007, 12:35 a.m. CST

    I could definatly see...

    by Style_92

    a plot for a sequal where Starscream sides with a shady corporation to produce non-sentient decepticon drones to help him take his revenge on the autobots. Starscream could always promise them australia or something.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:37 a.m. CST

    I realize the problems, which is why I suggested

    by superninja

    using human characters, but having the story focus be on the Transformers and their war, not the search for the Magic McGuffin and getting laid in the back seat of Bumblebee. You have the human characters learn about the TF as the audience does and extensive time is devoted to the TF characters and their different personalities and motivations. They are in "disguise" mode most of the time except for the big action sequences - much like they are now. I would even have had some of the Autobots and Decepticons switch sides once they had realized they were stuck on Earth. But then I would've stranded them on Earth and not had them travel here on purpose.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:42 a.m. CST

    Executive Produced doesn't mean shit

    by jegoing74

    The Producers got their dinero but they still left the movie goers short changed with their lack of vision. Transformers: The Knee-Capped Movie. This film is all a BAY EGO TRIP. His bullshit will be exposed on 7-4-7, sure some will devour this shit like there is not tomorrow but others will see what this really is a very crappy movie. I remember reading on hear his boasting about his glorious robots and how cool they looked and how realistic they would be, well mikey they still look like realistic shit to me. Have you seen how small the robot eyes are? They are so beady and they have triangular metal shapes obstructing their vision. It's still in the end a very pathetic excuse for robots. That's what we want to see is the robots and mikey bay couldn't even deliver kick ass looking robots He even described primes paint scheme as cholo when he was interviewed by MTV, fuck that, flames are so cliched it's not even funny anymore.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:42 a.m. CST

    Mcguffins...

    by Style_92

    help sharpen a story, and gives everyone a nice, clearly defined goal. Without it, this could be a plotless as... well, most Superhero movies are. just vignettes of fighting without clear motivations. <br> <br> The "Change alt mode simply and at will just by scanning a vehicle" thing annoys me too, but it HAS been part of the comics for a while now, not just invented for the movie.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:43 a.m. CST

    First

    by darthbinks1220

    first

  • April 29, 2007, 12:51 a.m. CST

    McGuffins only work when they fit very closely

    by superninja

    with what the hero desires himself. The script completely fails in this regard - Shia's character essentially has no real motivation to participate in any of this - he is a non-character. They should've left the stupid love story out. Spike in the cartoon got sucked into the war with his dad and realized that it was this incredible thing way bigger than them. That Spike was heroic. This version is just another example of tossing people into circumstances haphazardly and having everything mysteriously fall together perfectly. The script is trash.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:58 a.m. CST

    I mean, Megan Fox is hot, but she's not that

    by superninja

    hot, you know what I mean? Shia's character doesn't even know her at the beginning of the movie. There are so many ways to avoid this type of thing it's just silly this script is as awful and cliche-ridden as it is.

  • April 29, 2007, 1:01 a.m. CST

    Spike wasn't sucked into the war.

    by Style_92

    Optimus Prime saved his and his dad's life. Then Sparkpluge suggested they could help the autobots. Prime politely said, "um, you humans are kinda puny, so just leave Megatron to us." Sparkplug insisted. They were willing tag alongs. It's movie spike who gets sucked in. One day, out of nowhere, a giant robot tries to fuck him up, then his car turns into a giant robot and saves him, then his car/robot brings other robots to earth who explain that the decepticons are trying to fuck him up because he has something they want. So, yeah, he is sucked in, then has to fight his way out. Many people aren't really willing heroes, they just get caught in a bad situation and do they're best to survive and help others too.

  • April 29, 2007, 1:04 a.m. CST

    Well, yeah, it is sort of

    by Style_92

    Well, yeah, it is sort of silly and cliched. But that's how hero stories are written. there's usually a girl involved. (At least it's not like the spider-man movies, that are SO distracted with the "will boy get girl" romance that virtually everything cool about spidey is ignored.)

  • April 29, 2007, 1:06 a.m. CST

    It's been nice chatting.

    by Style_92

    I gotta go to bed. I just get involved in these talk backs because TF talk backs are always just a lot of shit slinging from both sides and I want to try to have a reasonably discussion about it. You, Superninja are very reasonable and I appreciate that!

  • April 29, 2007, 1:08 a.m. CST

    Nice talking to you as well. I also have to

    by superninja

    get going. See you around I'm sure!

  • April 29, 2007, 1:32 a.m. CST

    probably

    by christpunchers2007

    a plant. heh and yeah this movie is definetly focused on the humans, not the robots, the robots are like the aliens from war of the worlds. and some random guy hands out preview passes to this guy? he gets to see michael bay and the studio guys without getting his pockets emptied and checked? 15 year old kids doing chest bumps? if this aint a plant, then i wanna know where this guy lives.

  • April 29, 2007, 1:58 a.m. CST

    also

    by christpunchers2007

    LeBouf is too goofy... cant take this shit seriously

  • April 29, 2007, 1:58 a.m. CST

    Very vulgar review

    by La Frog

    I just read that so-called "review", and given the numbers of "Fuck" in there I have a question for you Young Americans. Does swearing every two words to emphasize your enthousiasm is considered like, huh, fucking cool in your country? Just so you know, everywhere else, it is considered vulgar. Could it be just that this is what the studio people who order these plants believe is the way young people talk?

  • April 29, 2007, 2:08 a.m. CST

    Please dont judge evyone on the piss poor

    by Phategod1

    rantings of one asshole AICN decided to publish. This moron does not represent our country just the lowest common denominator.

  • April 29, 2007, 2:10 a.m. CST

    everyone

    by Phategod1

    sorry its late

  • April 29, 2007, 2:12 a.m. CST

    Agree with you Phategod1

    by La Frog

    I agree with you Phategod1. All the american people I have met were all very polite and I don't think I have ever seen one swear in my presence. In my opinion it is a studio plant thing to make it sound more streetwise or whatever.

  • April 29, 2007, 2:16 a.m. CST

    too mr Labouf

    by Phategod1

    This guy is trying to say the movie "...is like Whoosh"

  • April 29, 2007, 2:22 a.m. CST

    GO LAKERS!!!!

    by sylabdul

    KWAME BROWN KWAME BROWN KWAME BROWN....HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHSHHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

  • April 29, 2007, 2:23 a.m. CST

    Does anyone remember what mankind's position was in....

    by wackybantha

    ....the TRANSFORMERS cartoon series? Were they aware of what exactly was going on between the Autobots and Decepticons? I know that SPIKE was but I don't remember if mankind was involved in any way in defending themselves or attacking these giant robots militarily. Also, in the generation 2 cartoon after the cartoon feature film, I noticed that Spike and his son were helping the Autobots as if no other humans were involved. Am I remebering correctly? If anyone has any answers that would satisfy my curiousity I would appreciate it. Thanks.

  • April 29, 2007, 2:35 a.m. CST

    the humans where aware but

    by Phategod1

    provided no real assistance. There where a few episode where they were hunted by a human, a episode with help from a arabian oil tycoon. plus there was Carly and the Computer guy in the wheelchair.

  • April 29, 2007, 2:46 a.m. CST

    No...

    by MarkoOhNo

    Silly and cliched is not how hero stories are written. That's how the stories Bay directs are written. "Everything cool about spidey"?? You want to watch 120 minutes of nothing but Spiderman shooting webs out of his wrists, crawling up walls and throwing things?? What's MOST cool about Spidey is that he's a normal guy who isn't normal. The only people bored by story segments involving a hero's personal life are kids under the age of 10, people who never made it past grade 10, and people with no personal life of their own.

  • April 29, 2007, 2:50 a.m. CST

    Also

    by Phategod1

    That was still Generation 1 just season 3. Generation 2 didnt really have a cartoon just episodes of G1 with a CGI extras.

  • April 29, 2007, 3:09 a.m. CST

    Humans In Transformers

    by MarkoOhNo

    There were episodes in which a representative of a Human government or organization would contact the Autobots and seek their assistance or alert them to a Decepticon attack. That was pretty rare though. Mostly, human society was ignored beyond the regular characters, and workers at power plants who scatter like ants and scream, "Decepticons! Run!" (Until after the 3rd season.)

  • April 29, 2007, 4:28 a.m. CST

    Krack - profanity

    by La Frog

    I get your point Krack. That said, I find it appalling that subculture has come to this big commercial exploitation, where coolness is measured by how much robots look like the ones we liked as kids, and that the way to express this joy is by saying that the stuff is so good the boys will be 'creaming their pants' and find it 'fucking awesome'. It is decadent. And not in a nice way.

  • April 29, 2007, 4:32 a.m. CST

    YOU HAVENT FUCKING SEEN THE MOVIE YET!!!

    by bongo123

    so give over already... jeeze, fucking TINO, i mean TINO!!?? am i the only one who thinks that a bunch of grown men getting this worked up about a movie they havent even fucking seen about a cartoon designed to sell toys from the fucking 80's of all places and then go about under an internet banner called fucking TINO, is just a little bit wierd??? surely i cant be the only one that thinks you guys need to grow the fuck up?

  • April 29, 2007, 4:52 a.m. CST

    TF STUFF HERE

    by LittleDudes

    http://tinyurl.com/35lyex

  • April 29, 2007, 4:52 a.m. CST

    MORE TF STUFF

    by LittleDudes

    http://tinyurl.com/35lyex

  • April 29, 2007, 4:53 a.m. CST

    ANOTHER COMIC ON THE CHANGES

    by LittleDudes

    Albeit quite dated: http://tinyurl.com/2v4xv8

  • April 29, 2007, 5:55 a.m. CST

    Man Boobs Gotta Eat!

    by TheSultanOfErato

    Autobots, transform and roll out.

  • April 29, 2007, 8:25 a.m. CST

    Krack: Obviously...

    by Some Dude

    ...you've never been to Brooklyn. And I doubt you've spent that much time in the South, either.

  • April 29, 2007, 9:03 a.m. CST

    have fun, yack.

    by moondoggy2u

    You really will enjoy CoM. Its a very, very interesting film.

  • April 29, 2007, 9:05 a.m. CST

    And did anyone else think that Michael Caine

    by moondoggy2u

    bore more than a passing resemblance to an elderly John Lennon?

  • April 29, 2007, 9:12 a.m. CST

    YackBacker

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Watched Children of Men again last night due to all the talk on the boards. Absolutely brilliant. I love the tension portrayed in the film. Very effective for me. Hope it hasn't been built up too much for you. Be well.

  • April 29, 2007, 9:16 a.m. CST

    MoonDoggy2u

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    I believe he did and I also believe that was the filmmakers' intention. Regardless of if it was intential or not, his resemblance to Lennon made his character that much more poignant. Great film.

  • April 29, 2007, 9:39 a.m. CST

    So I was working in the garden yesterday.......

    by Jak0lantern01

    Does anyone have any "plant" food?

  • April 29, 2007, 10:59 a.m. CST

    who is Shia Labouf screwing to get these parts anyway?

    by theef

    transformers,Indy 4...I mean..come on...this guy was in Dumb and Dumber 2 and should have stayed there whatever that means.

  • April 29, 2007, 10:59 a.m. CST

    nearly 900 TBs and...

    by moners

    people are still calling PLANT. Love it.

  • April 29, 2007, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Transformers in the South

    by Dr Lisa Cuddy

    Flames on Optimus= Truck Testicles on Optimus.

  • April 29, 2007, 11:27 a.m. CST

    This isn't a plant...

    by I Hope You Die

    It's just fake. Someone watched all the trailers and TV spots and wrote a "review." Ah well. I'm seeing this movie regardless. Transformers was the first movie I ever saw in the cinema and I need to know the exact details of how my childhood has been raped! It should be fun at least.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:04 p.m. CST

    Superninja and I owe you a big I told you so

    by IndustryKiller!

    If this review doesn't confirm all our worst suspicions about the script I don't know what does. The film this guy describes is the exact script that I read. Which may seem detrimental to my argument given the positive review if you ignored the fact that this guy seems like a complete idiot. I mean come the fuck on people. If you can take this review seriously there is some beachfront property in Arizona I can get you a steal on. By this jackasses estimation the film couldn't have failed. The Decepticons are SUPPOSED to be soulless fodder?? Moron. I don't care if you absolutely love the movie, if the biggest complaint you have is that Optimus Prime has lips then you probably took the short bus to school. The blurb about SHia Labeouf being brilliant is pretty funny considering a monkey could play the character (or any of the others) and just confirms that all Hollywood has to do to make someone famous is put them in as many films as possible and pay reviewers to put a blurb in their review praising him (Dreamworks you sneaky bastards). Keep buying the hype gentlemen.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:23 p.m. CST

    R.I.P. Ali De Jesus

    by Supermans

    My best friend Ali De Jesus would have loved to see this movie. Transformers was his favorite cartoon series and he collected and had every single toy you could imagine. Even all the ones made of metal not sold in the US. I will go watch this movie knowing he is with me in spirit. He was a Christian and I know is in Heaven. So R.I.P buddy. And God Bless.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:42 p.m. CST

    I sure could go for some plantains!

    by ProziumJunkie

    c'mon...how does this even pass as a review? and how is it this thread isn't over 1000 yet?

  • April 29, 2007, 12:49 p.m. CST

    http://tinyurl.com/z7nk7

    by ProziumJunkie

  • April 29, 2007, 12:57 p.m. CST

    Mike judge has seen the future and its

    by emeraldboy

    Pretty appalling. Any one here see Idiocracy? If you havent, do. Its out now on DVD. America, be afraid, be very afraid. The humour may be low-brow. But the message couldnt be clearer. America will become the stupidest country on earth. The No.1 movie will be called ass(as in male but). Everyone drink water out of the toilet bowl. Gatorade will run america and America will become a giant trash heap. We have to act now damn it.

  • April 29, 2007, 12:58 p.m. CST

    last one...I swear

    by ProziumJunkie

    http://tinyurl.com/ypsmxx

  • April 29, 2007, 1:15 p.m. CST

    More than meets the eye?

    by Subculture

    Ever truly experienced something that was "more than meets the eye"? Note to self, avoid hookers in Thailand. This does seem just a tad fertilised. I'm quite amazed that it works on so many people. Fortunately, I've never had a problem avoiding the cinema when such piss poor films are released. I can understand somebody liking this if they dislike engaging any cognitive power whatsoever. To me, 'piss poor script' plus 'Michael Bay' equals abject disinterest.

  • April 29, 2007, 1:36 p.m. CST

    This is Going to be a Movie Geek's Fantasy of

    by SakeDickens2006

    chest bumping Jennifer Love Hewitt.

  • April 29, 2007, 1:48 p.m. CST

    still a plant?

    by rdsxfan8

    someone cant believe that after 900+ posts people are still calling this reviewer a plant. heres a few reasons why we say this 1) if you were a "long time listener first time reviewer" you would know that after any review , other than those done by the honchos here, everyone screams plant, and you would come into the tb's and defend yourself not just state that your not a plant in your review also the language he used was just tooo cliche for what we know in the tb's and never once in the review did he really delve into any material other than what was available either in the trailer or tv spots weve all seen. he does however get pts for the "2 15 yr olds bumping chests" but there more creativity points as opposed to style points. overall with all of the plant reviews that get posted on here they really must think we are the dumbest lot of people this side of the trailer park. if your gonna plant a review at least try to do it intellectually insted of insulting our intelligence with this drivel. yes with TF's you are gonna get both the haters of bay and the lovers of "robots blowin shit up" it happens with this subject matter. Im not even a true transformers fan, yes i did grow up in the 80's and had some of the toys as a kid and watched the cartoon and such, but I realized even then it was a cartoon based purely to sell toys. never once did i try to put any rationality behind their origins and delve that deeply into their world as some people. I can see clearly that this movie though isnt really about anything other than action, blowing stuff up, and a few contrived comedic elements thrown in for good measure. Excuse me if i demand a lil more from movies nowadays. i mean with the prices they charge to see this stuff in the theaters I want a lil more for my $$. maybe some character development, something to leave the theater and think about other than walking out and saying "wow did ya see how much shit was destroyed" or "wow that was action packed, lets go grab a pizza." I go to movies for the visuals , yes, but also for the notion that a story is being told and much like the books that hold stories, leave me with some feeling that i saw somethign on screen that is thought provoking. this may make me sound like Im a snob and cant sit back and enjoy some mindless action film or comedy. thats far from the truth, i love all movies. I just prefer to spend my money on those films which I think give a lil back to the viewer other than visual FX. Ive never hated on those that go strictly to the movies to check their IQ's at the door and watch action on the screen, I mean hey different strokes for different folks, but this film is one of those that could have been a lil bit of what i like in a film while still giving you that " holy crap did ya see that" kinda action. if a lil more effort had been put into the script this could possibly be a better film. and keep in mind everything Im basing my opinions on of this film is from the trailers , tv spots and from what lil word of mouth and reference materail has been leaked out there. i know my views on film leave me in the minority with the general film going audience but here at AICN I like to think Im amongst like minded individuals. and judging by some of what Ive read in this TB so far I feel safe in that Im not alone in my views.

  • April 29, 2007, 1:53 p.m. CST

    and I still predict big $$

    by rdsxfan8

    on opening w/e for this movie I just know none of it will be mine. one less person to worry bout in line for all you TF diehards. enjoy it!!

  • April 29, 2007, 2:10 p.m. CST

    this community is lame.

    by JacksonsPole

    there is so much bile hatred spewing from the mouths of you keyboard jockeys. it's like you can't wait to hear about a new project, just so you can take a dump on it. do you guys even like movies? cause yer killing them. instead of supporting projects, you shit on them. and, hollywood is noticing. there was a time when it looked like this site might actually make a difference in the way movies are made. but this community has shown time and again, that they can't be counted on. look at all the movies this site has hyped: 'superman' returns (not great boxoffice), snakes on a plane (which had people in the press saying that fanboys would have more say in movies- tanked), grindhouse (tanked), and the list goes on. if you don't start supporting the type of films you wanna see (even if they don't live up to yer expectations), then no one is gonna wanna make the type of movies you wanna see. all you vultures sitting in your bedrooms, with yer moms calling down for you to come to dinner, crapping on people's work (when you have done nothing)- is disgusting. this community had better start being more proactive, or you'll eat yerselves. instead of blindly hating (seriously, no one on here has even SEEN this movie), be more constructive. be a bit more level headed. no matter what you think of michael bay, or paul ws anderson, they're some of the only filmmakers out there even trying to make the kind of films you wanna see. until you start making yer own films, and realize what a difficult task that is, you shouldn't be such shitheads. try being a bit more positive. filmmakers deserve yer respect. whether you like what they do, or not. perhaps, if you start supporting these films, films will get to where you want them to be. or, whatever, just sit there and be a useless dick. this review is a plant, by the way. which is sad. it only adds more fuel to the fire...

  • April 29, 2007, 2:27 p.m. CST

    dice k vs godzilla

    by rdsxfan8

    i can see it now!!! with a cgi ortiz carrying a huge bat just waiting to pound on shit!!!

  • April 29, 2007, 2:28 p.m. CST

    tom bodet

    by rdsxfan8

    dont forget to keep the light on!!! its gonna be a long summer, for both movies and the sox!!!

  • April 29, 2007, 2:29 p.m. CST

    Subculture and rdsxfan8

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Well said.

  • April 29, 2007, 2:29 p.m. CST

    Support PUSSY ON OPTIMUS!!!

    by Optimus Murphy

    Or they Hollywood might stop making further PUSSY ON OPTIMUS, and then we'll never see the kind of films we want to see, like PIDGE FORMS THE PUSSY, G.I. PUSSY, and PRINCE OF PUSSY.

  • April 29, 2007, 2:33 p.m. CST

    Final Word...

    by The Eskimo

    Look, I've been to like hundreds of movies around the country (travel for work, often bored at night), including many many in LA. Never have I once been asked, seen or heard of anyone being asked to come see a "test screening" of a movie, espcially a summer blockbuster. Studios have test-audiences for test-screening and they are carefully chosen just so poeple like this idot won't post spoilers all over the net....FINAL WORD: If he was for real, he would have totally posted spoilers the whole time, and only the AICN guys would've have deleted the spoilers (maybe) if anyone did..."I'm not a fan of spoilers, so I won't post them"...give me an f'in break!

  • April 29, 2007, 2:38 p.m. CST

    PS

    by The Eskimo

    PS...Maybe lips on OP is appropriate, cause I have a feeling this movie is gonna suck you know what...

  • April 29, 2007, 2:50 p.m. CST

    humans in the show

    by Dollar Bird

    In addition to all of the episodes/characters already mentioned, there was a 2-part episode where Megatron convinces all of the world that the Autobots are actually the power-hungry monsters. (I think the Decepticons wore Autobot costumes and filmed them doing bad things.) There was a parade for the Decepticons and one scene where a kid complained that he ran out of silver crayon before finishing his Megatron coloring book. Man, I hated that episode. ... Gany, you saw 2 "cutties" planning on seeing TF? Did they chest bump out of anticipation? It makes me think of when Godzilla came out back in 98. I saw it opening weekend and it stunk like nothing else. A talked with a friend (who is not a geek) who said she thought about seeing it out of curiosity, but when people said it sucked, she passed. Word of mouth means a lot for genre films to the non-genre film lover. ... Talking about "Unforgiven"—a pretty good film that's fallen to the wayside in the cultural consciousness—made me think about movies and how they last or don't. A movie has to pretty much be a cultural phenomenon to make any lasting impression on society. I'm talking about stuff like Gone With The Wind or King Kong (33) or The Wizard of Oz or Casablanca or Star Wars. (And not even all of those were blockbusters.) We all have our favorite movies that have influenced us personally, but how many of those movies are recognized by everybody else? Man, I love The Big Lebowski, but I'd think it tough to find a man on the street who would be able to mention something about it. (By comparison, I have never seen Gone With The Wind, but could tell you a couple things about that movie. That's the lasting impression of film I'm talking about.) And how may of us watched some movie a zillion times as a kid and now wouldn't think of watching it again. When was the last time you thought about or watched Explorers? Anyways, what's my point? I guess it's that movies come and go and few leave a lasting mark. So I take comfort in the thought that in a handful of months, no one will remember a lousy Transformers movie. Chest bumping and all.

  • April 29, 2007, 3:12 p.m. CST

    i agree, tom.

    by JacksonsPole

    but, 'superman' didn't make as much as pearl harbor. it didn't even make as much as x3 (which is a perfect example of what i'm talking about- this site hyped the hell outta supes, tanked. and shat all over x3, big winner.). now a few bucks shy of 200million isn't chump change; but when you consider the budget, including all the years of false starts and rewrites, was over 300million- doesn't look good. all i'm saying is that i just want people on here to show some damn respect for people who work their ass off, to serve us up some 'kickassery'. i just get really pissed when people who claim to love movies, shit all over them with nothing to show for themselves. and, i too love the bay. haters be damned. the man can film action. even the criterion collection recognizes bay's place in film, with an excellent release of 'the rock'. he's not truffaut, thank god, but he's an awesome action man. there's more constructive ways of discussing films, is all i'm saying. you don't have to blindly love 'em all (lord knows i don't), but simply show the filmmakers the respect of dissecting their work with an open mind. it's better that way for all of us...

  • April 29, 2007, 3:28 p.m. CST

    but, now that i think about it...

    by JacksonsPole

    i would love to truffaut's version of 'transformers'...

  • April 29, 2007, 3:37 p.m. CST

    who is Megan Fox screwing to get these parts anyway?

    by Mogwrath

    lucky bastard...

  • April 29, 2007, 3:49 p.m. CST

    mogwarth

    by rdsxfan8

    shes screwing brian austin green but i doubt that got her the part

  • April 29, 2007, 4:37 p.m. CST

    ROBERTO ORCI writer confirmed then as the real deal

    by jegoing74

    Please deal with it. This is going to be a real shitty movie. They condensed the Transformers universe to 70% Humans and 30% robots. There will be no prologue of the epic battle on CYBERTRON and no ARK OR NEMESIS blasting off from the doomed planet of cybertron. Cybertron will be seen but it will be a terrestrial planet and they have done away with it's metal composition.

  • April 29, 2007, 4:55 p.m. CST

    Nine-hundred-sixteenth

    by Bronx Cheer

    Yay

  • April 29, 2007, 4:59 p.m. CST

    theres a bigger question here

    by rdsxfan8

    than whether or not the reviewer is a plant. and that is if indeed it is a plant ( and we all are pretty sure if not positive it is) why does harry keep posting them on this site/ is it more for his personal enjoyment, is the a financial transaction involved ( just kidding big guy)..... I love these tb's. there are some serious debates goign on in here, and than there is the generic "oh that reviewer should change his name to Planty Mcplantenstein" I know its all in good fun, and god knows i do crack up occassionally reading some of the posts, but seriously, doesnt this hurt the overall reputation of the site?

  • April 29, 2007, 5:39 p.m. CST

    I agree rdsxfan8

    by alienindisguise

    Some of these "plant posts" are hysterical to read but I don't think they hurt the reputation of this site. It's one of things that makes this place enjoyable along with the aforementioned debates. In my opinion, the only thing that can hurt the site is when pics and news that we've possibly seen and read days or a week before hand shows up here as brand new news.

  • April 29, 2007, 5:44 p.m. CST

    re:alien

    by rdsxfan8

    its ok for stuff to show up here a day or so behind other sites. i mean harry and the guys prolly are swamped with the amount of leads, scoops, stories, that they actually have to check up on, transcript, repost.... I used to run a website so i know its not as easy a task as it may sound. a lil lee way is given from me on that issue, but when its like a week or two later and its already national news, yeah it means these guys dropped the ball. it happens

  • April 29, 2007, 5:49 p.m. CST

    920

    by T 1000 xp professional

  • April 29, 2007, 5:59 p.m. CST

    The reason the plant was posted?

    by moondoggy2u

    Its because it has been a very slow newsweek and Harry and the gang need more web hits and thread posts. Its business, people, pure and simple. I wouldn't be surprised if Harry or Moriarty actually wrote this themselves.

  • April 29, 2007, 6 p.m. CST

    No North Pole Scene?

    by wadi77

    So they didn't shoot the north pole scene, where's Sam's uncle discovered Megatron?

  • April 29, 2007, 6:32 p.m. CST

    "We're gonna need a bigger ark..."

    by a rolling stone

    The only way this movie would rock on an epic 'blade runner, alien, jaws' scale would be if fans had complete control of the creation. Take out the marketing shit and limit the human shit. But I get it-then they limit their audience to the core who cares. So what? You sacrifice profit to create art. THEN it would go down in history. Does anybody do that anymore?

  • April 29, 2007, 6:34 p.m. CST

    reason #2 the plant was posted

    by S-Mart shopper

    because all plants need exposure to the light to survive...and water(supplied in full by TBers pissing all over them).

  • April 29, 2007, 6:35 p.m. CST

    www.filmick.co.uk is calling AICN out!

    by jccalhoun

    filmick is calling this review a plant and linking to aicn http://urltea.com/gk0

  • April 29, 2007, 6:53 p.m. CST

    choose your side

    by rdsxfan8

    AICN or FILMICK. one are the autobots one are the deciptcons , you choose!!!!!!

  • April 29, 2007, 6:56 p.m. CST

    I know it's off-topic, but...

    by a rolling stone

    But I just heard Sarah Michelle Gellar was cast as Harley Quinn for The Dark Knight. Any truth to this?

  • April 29, 2007, 7:18 p.m. CST

    you hate me Messi? :'(

    by the_shogun_gunslinger

    and im a dumb cunt? why? because i'm not bashing the fuck out of a movie when i havnt even seen it yet? because i dont give a fuck about fucking FLAMES?! you know the longer you fanboys keep complaining and the more defensive you get, the sadder it becomes to read the TF TBs. face it loser, you're over-reacting! and look at your post...reduced to "mom" jokes. pathetic. <P> as for "no one listening to me", i could give a fuck. but it seems like i have a fan in you...youve seemed to have read every post ive ever made on here, enough to draw a conclusion about me anyway. i'm gonna start calling you my #1 Fan. so continue to hate me and live you're sad lonely life, crying over flames and screaming TINO like a trained circus idiot. life must suck when youve forgotten how to have fun.

  • April 29, 2007, 7:32 p.m. CST

    Transformers is like Jurassic Park?!?! ROFLOL

    by W3bzpinn3r

    Can't believe someone would say that. I watched the first JP movie just the other day on my 42" LCD, and the CGI still looked flawless. The movie is over a decade old and looks better than 99.99% of the stuff out today. <p> The story, while no where near as deep as the book, and cliched beyond belief, hits all the right notes for the standard brain-free summer fun that Spielberg excels at. <p> Transformers misses out on that in trying to make the Transformers look so realistic, that they loose their humanity. Yes, I realize they are big walking alien robots, but the success of the toys and cartoons owed alot to how organic and humane the robots were, and that is something the script and Michael Bay in general lacks. <p> I understand that pure blocky transformers wouldn't work, but they could have done it Alternators style, and still have some substance, rather than wires and gears hanging out all over the place. <p> I could defeat Optimus just with a well placed wrench and screwdriver!

  • April 29, 2007, 7:41 p.m. CST

    W3b , Go rent ROBOTJOX if you want "blocky" TFs

    by Mace Tofu

    Yeah it's out on DVD for $10 Letterboxed. 1000 , are we there yet? Bump...

  • April 29, 2007, 7:46 p.m. CST

    It has not a damn thing to do with "BLOCKY" designs!

    by jegoing74

    The Robot bodies were not much of a problem it was the unrecognizable detail they put into their faces. The characters should have resembled their 1984 counterparts albeit very much hyper detailed from the 2-d cartoon.

  • April 29, 2007, 7:46 p.m. CST

    66 more posts to the magic 1000

    by ATARI

    I'll be checking back tomorrow morning. I am sure you will all do your duty.

  • April 29, 2007, 7:52 p.m. CST

    Transformers are for...

    by mrtwig48

    ....little kids and gays who like to watch dogs pee on giant robots (who are in disguise).

  • April 29, 2007, 8:04 p.m. CST

    937th!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by Womb2dooM

    I just watched Kill Bill 1 & 2! I wish, I wish Tarantino would release that as one movie. Jackie Brown is great also. Robert De Niro's anger build up in the mall/car park scene is the most overlooked performance in that movie. I base this on having read nothing about the performances in that movie. And, Transformers will be super-cool.

  • April 29, 2007, 8:09 p.m. CST

    story about the plant

    by INWOsuxRED

    the story never says anything about proof. I've already screamed "plant" in this reviewish thing, but there seems to be just as much validity to the thought that this person never saw the movie at all, or just has an odd writing style. There are so many poorly written reviews on this site, some may be completely fake, some may be plants, some may just be so poorly written they look fake or planted. I just wonder where/what is the actual proof that allowed them to run a story like that?

  • April 29, 2007, 8:39 p.m. CST

    It really did sound like a plant...

    by wadi77

    But they really did test screenings. Michael Bay posted on his site: "We had two screenings tonight 850 people. Highest test scores in my career. Blew Armageddon away which was a 92. Go figure."

  • April 29, 2007, 8:43 p.m. CST

    Love the filmick review/write-up

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Truthiness.

  • April 29, 2007, 8:44 p.m. CST

    I've been told to expect a

    by a rolling stone

    I've been told to expect a mid-core orgy or TF ass-kickery from that beefcake 'The Bay'. The Walken/cowbell ref. almost hooked me. Almost. But then he said awesome...and I knew.

  • April 29, 2007, 8:53 p.m. CST

    Kurzinski Valentine

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    I'm not trying to start shit. I mean it. What I would like to know, in your opinion as a Bay fan, do you think he has grown as a filmmaker since Bad Boys up to now? Has he improved on anything or is it the same old hat trick? Honestly, I always try to give people the benefit of doubt, but this guy just doesn't do it for me (Bay is not the only problem I have with TINO and said numerous problems/complaints have already been listed several times anyway). <P>Now, he is insanely successful for a myriad of reasons and I am not ignorant to that. I saw Bad Boys and The Rock and didn't like either of them. I have not seen one of his films since. None have appealed to me and those two I mentioned "burned" me. Still not trying to start shit. I am not setting you up for a flame attack. I am honestly asking for your perspective. Film fan to film fan. <P>Thats the cool thing about film to me - there's something for everyone. I appreciate your thoughts if you feel so inclined.

  • April 29, 2007, 8:57 p.m. CST

    a rolling stone

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    "According to JoBlo, there is no truth to the recent rumor that Sarah Michelle Gellar will play a role in the upcoming Batman film, The Dark Knight.<P> The site also mentioned that there was no confirmation that Harley Quinn, the character Gellar was rumored to be playing, would even be in the script.<P> JoBlo continued on to say that we could expect another female cast member to be announced shortly, but gave no mention as to who that could be."

  • April 29, 2007, 9:20 p.m. CST

    Myspace is about as reliable as this reviewer

    by S-Mart shopper

  • April 29, 2007, 9:32 p.m. CST

    if it rated better than armageddon, it will be enjoyabl

    by wcoop893

    to say the least. good enough for my money. armageddon was entertaining and theres no way around that. i watched it last night while i was wasted and i thought it was the best thing ever. sober, its just very entertaining, but i still cant wait for tformers

  • April 29, 2007, 9:38 p.m. CST

    Kurzinski Valentine

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Thanks. Just curious and I see your point of view. The movies he directs, script wise, just don't appeal to me. I like tons of literal shit i.e. guilty pleasures. Crap that gets panned quite a bit here on AICN point of fact. To each his own indeed. Oh, and I concur on the Will Smith thing. I saw Bad Boys at the bequest of a friend. Suckage - and Will Smith made it worse - poor chap. I'll take your word and the word of many others in regards to Bay's other films. I like Logan's Run just fine and therefore have no interest in The Island. His other films have a dumb quotient i.e. anti-intellectual theme that I just can't sit through. Just me though. Clearly I am a minority since his films are all box office gold. <P>Hey, in all honesty, thanks for sharing. I appreciate it. Be well.

  • April 29, 2007, 9:43 p.m. CST

    Armageddon???

    by mrtwig48

    was pathetic. Only little kids and gays who like large drills liked it.

  • April 29, 2007, 9:47 p.m. CST

    So old, and yet I still chuckle

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    for those who missed it.<P>http://tinyurl.com/fttm6

  • April 29, 2007, 9:47 p.m. CST

    The only hope for Transformers...

    by Galva

    ... is if this thing dies a painful death at the box office. This will hopefully: (1)Put a huge dent in Bay's career, {2) Make studios think twice about the 50 other toy movies starting production (Robosapien? ROBOSAPIEN?! What the fuck!?) (3) allow Transformers to go fallow for a while and come back after a nice rest. This movie... if this thing influences the next animated series, I'll shit in a hat and force my little brother to wear it. I don't know where that came from, I'm just under a lot of pressure right now, what with finals and all... Damn you Michael Bay.

  • April 29, 2007, 9:50 p.m. CST

    BringingSexyBack...

    by Galva

    ... in a world where Armageddon, White Chicks, and Bruce Almighty can be successful (Not JUST get MADE in the first place, but be SUCCESSFUL), there is no hope for the future.

  • April 29, 2007, 9:53 p.m. CST

    Guess that means Titanic is the best movie ever, right?

    by Galva

    Come on.

  • April 29, 2007, 9:56 p.m. CST

    not that it matters

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    but how did you come up with 600 million? I did a quick search on Armageddon and it only did 200 million.... Maybe my number is only domestic gross?

  • April 29, 2007, 10:01 p.m. CST

    Titanic was abysmal

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    and it further strengthens my belief that the Oscars are not the measure of fine film. Lord that film was beyond melodramatic tripe and I still give my wife shit about dragging me to that. She then hangs her head and promptly tells me "Piss off! I had no idea it would suck so bad!" Can't comment on Armageddon since I refuse to subjegate my time to that.

  • April 29, 2007, 10:04 p.m. CST

    Except money from Africa

    by mrtwig48

    Theirs isn't real.

  • April 29, 2007, 10:09 p.m. CST

    Gotcha

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    I can't see how TINO will not rake it in overseas....Surly their internation gross will make up for any "faltering" over here - if any at all. <P>I feel that people are easily misled by trailers, flashy SFX, and loud, obnoxious noise. Perhaps not misled, perhaps that's all most people want to see. I hear a lot of "I just want to turn my brain off when I watch a movie". Ugh. I personally like a strong story, substance, maybe a little allegory if appropo, and characters I care about. If I don't care about the characters, then why should I watch a film. Clearly we all have differing views of what is art and what isn't. Yes, I know I am an extreme minority. Box office numbers don't lie and further proves my point which I don't have in some people's eyes. Bay's movies only offer big, loud action. I want more.

  • April 29, 2007, 10:10 p.m. CST

    At Least 2 More Transformers Movies

    by wadi77

    In the Q&A session of Peter Cullen (Optimus Prime) at this year's Anime Matsuri, Peter Cullen commented that there will be at least two more movies in the works due to the heavy financial investment of the CG developed for the character of Optimus Prime by Dreamworks.

  • April 29, 2007, 10:13 p.m. CST

    No one cares but me Ganymede2010

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    But your point is not lost. I care what I like and now make better informed decisions than I did in the past. I care what others like, otherwise I wouldn't be on these boards. You know, talking about film and not listing gross box office numbers. I know you will destroy me again verbally and it sucks that a "whiner" like me gets under your skin. I have a passion for film. Berate me to your heart's content.

  • April 29, 2007, 10:15 p.m. CST

    wadi77

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    No surprise there. The more profit the better. It's all about the all mighty dollar.

  • April 29, 2007, 10:19 p.m. CST

    Test screenings are NOT carefully chosen.

    by superninja

    They hand out tickets in front of certain theaters. They want a general audience - they look for people that fit their target demographics. I see them all the time here in CA.

  • April 29, 2007, 10:19 p.m. CST

    jesus christ all im saying is that people enjoy

    by wcoop893

    armageddon for what it is. obviously no one from this site, but none of you can accept something that people like but inst a well made/artistic/critically acclaimed movie. i dont give a fuck about that. michael bay makes movies for the people not the critics, and definitly not for most people who read this site. but it deosnt matter because they make money. fuck, thats all im saying, i dont give a shit how bad you all think armageddon was

  • April 29, 2007, 10:23 p.m. CST

    HeWho, agreed on Titanic. That film's love story is

    by superninja

    horrendous, and the two main characters are jerks. However, the ship sinking is fantastic.

  • April 29, 2007, 10:27 p.m. CST

    Kurkinski, that is too funny. After you mentioned

    by superninja

    not remembering one thing about Pearl Harbor, I realized neither did I. The structure of this film is the same as PH and Armageddon. Oh, wait, it's actually the same as every Bay movie.

  • April 29, 2007, 10:28 p.m. CST

    Has Bay EVER made a movie where the primary

    by superninja

    goals are not to: get laid, drive really fast cars, tastelessly exploit popular music, and blow stuff up?

  • April 29, 2007, 10:29 p.m. CST

    Looks like Fav is respecting Iron Man

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Why couldn't Bay & Co./sycophants do the same with Transformers?

  • April 29, 2007, 10:32 p.m. CST

    Superninja

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    I believe the answer is no. Oh wait, your question was rhetorical.

  • April 29, 2007, 10:36 p.m. CST

    Is Bay afraid to branch out into other subject matter?

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Or are those scripts just not making it to his desk/coke mirror? You know, good scripts that don't rely on action set pieces. And are the drug fiend barbs just because he seems that way or has he ever been busted?

  • April 29, 2007, 10:38 p.m. CST

    BSB, surly your joking?

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    I only say this since your last post is almost sarcasm free. Almost. Record breaking drivel.

  • April 29, 2007, 10:45 p.m. CST

    Rose is just a "modern" girl.

    by superninja

    Throwing her future away with a rake like Jack. She could've just ran away or refused to marry. But big drama queen had to humiliate everyone first to completely reject those just horrible conditions she existed under. Jack of course finally dies like a man, but Rose continues on in her "modern" way and tosses a gem that could've fed a small country to the bottom of the ocean.

  • April 29, 2007, 10:48 p.m. CST

    BSB is a teenage girl.

    by superninja

    :P Titanic is a manipulative piece of crap, I don't care how technically efficient it is.

  • April 29, 2007, 10:57 p.m. CST

    BSB, that's cool bro.

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    I just didn't feel what you evidently did. And I am not knocking that. Titanic just seemed forced soap opera to me. I guess I like my romance movies Wong Kar Wai style. I thought In the Mood for Love was ridiculously good. Can't believe I mentioned Wong Kar Wai on a Bay/TINO board. Ah well. I'll leave it.

  • April 29, 2007, 10:59 p.m. CST

    BSB, speaking of Kate

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Have you seen Little Children yet? Off topic guys, sorry.

  • April 29, 2007, 11:06 p.m. CST

    Titanic? Oh, another disaster...

    by Bronx Cheer

    Bay makes shit movies that appeal to the THX junkies...blow it up and rattle the ribcage. Not much for the head. But at least he's not Renny Harlin.

  • April 29, 2007, 11:06 p.m. CST

    Little Children...of Men?

    by Bronx Cheer

    It's been a rough day.

  • April 29, 2007, 11:06 p.m. CST

    Kate is awesome. I like her and Rachel Weisz

    by superninja

    about equally, they are better than their American peers.

  • April 29, 2007, 11:07 p.m. CST

    MySpace is for children.

    by Bronx Cheer

    Oh, that's why Harry and Quint are on it.

  • April 29, 2007, 11:08 p.m. CST

    There you go.

    by Bronx Cheer

    I won't say it.

  • April 29, 2007, 11:10 p.m. CST

    Gany, let's just go with some basics, like

    by superninja

    not changing everything about the character and sticking to original designs? I mean, there is still time for Favs to botch it, but by deductive reasoning this does not appear to be the case.

  • April 29, 2007, 11:13 p.m. CST

    I'm sure the minute he steps out of line we will

    by superninja

    all be sure to let him know. Ha ha. Don't worry, Gany!

  • April 29, 2007, 11:18 p.m. CST

    ganymede2010...

    by Galva

    I didn't twist your words: Your argument is that Armageddon had word of mouth to get it past 600 million worldwide, since it had the lack of a fanbase and critics hated it with a firey passion. Titanic had the same going for it- except before it was even made it had an uphill battle to fight against people who were calling it the biggest bomb of all time before it was completed or released. There are plenty of things that get great word of mouth that I'll have nothing to do with: Meth, American Idol, Kanye West, skateboarding, Pro Wrestling... not one of those things are anything I'm going to "enjoy" any time soon.************ The "argument" for the Bayformers, the only thing it seems to have going for it, is that "IT'LL MAKE MONEY" and "IT'LL BLOW SHIT UP" backed with the usual "ALL YOU H8RZ WILL HAVE NOTHING TO DO BUT CRY AT YOUR KEYBOARDS WHILE EVERYONE ELSE HAS FUN." Fine. All of that may be true. I know people who are going to see it as soon as they can. That doesn't mean that the movie is going to be good- and the canard that "you haven't seen it yet" is also retarded. I didn't need to see White Chicks to know it was a tumor sandwitch. I've read the script, and I've seen every single advertisement, design, trailer, and interview released to my knowledge, and every single last thing indicates that this is going to be a terrible movie. Entertaining? Sure. Two-and-a-half stars, big noises, cool action, "fresh beats" (or whatever the kids call it), and 200 million dollars domestic box office, yet all anyone can remember after the movie is done is "that one time that one giant dude smashed that thing and I was all DAYMN, DAWG!" Fine. You can take that from a Transformers movie and have your fun. I can't. I've held on to Transformers for my entire life- I know the stories and the characters. I own all of Beast Wars, and G1, and the Japanese series(s) that haven't been officially released here. Dreamworks bought Transformers because people like me started thousands of web sites dedicated to the Transformers, because our dollars helped the franchise survive far past it's regular life span. They knew they had a built in audience no matter what they did, so now the studio set to work on the "breifly remembers enjoying the cartoon but grew out of it and now spends 50 hours a week on X-Box" and the "retards who will see any huge blockbuster" crowds. Which isn't to say that there aren't fans who will like this: There are plenty of Batman fans who love Tim Burton's crappy movie. Doesn't make the actual movie in question good by any stretch of the imagination. Transformers HAD the ability to be something better than 90 minutes of BIG CRAZY SHIT BOI, but it won't, and that really, really irks me as a fan.

  • April 29, 2007, 11:19 p.m. CST

    The lips don't work...

    by WesReviews

    So, someone who has actually SEEN the movie says the lips on Prime don't work. So, it's not just knee-jerk fanboy reaction. Someone who has seen the film says that they don't work. TAKE OUT THE DAMN LIPS, ALREADY!

  • April 29, 2007, 11:23 p.m. CST

    Michael Bay makes movies for people who...

    by Mogwai Democracy

    ... like to "turn their brain off" during a movie, as a previous poster mentioned. Unfortunately, to get along in this world people increasingly need to work longer & harder. People are kept in a zombiefied state by working their ass off for the man 40+ hours a week. When they get home at night & on the weekends, they're wiped out. The last thing they want to do is think about politics, or deal with a 'complex' film. Michael Bay makes movies for these people who are too tired (or too stupid) to think anymore: 90 minutes of shit blowing up and cars going real fast. Goes down quick and easy like a Coke and a Big Mac.<br><br>Yeah, I know Bay doesn't give a fuck. With his face buried in a big pile of coke up in his mansion on the hill, I'm sure he's doing just fine. But history has a way of sorting the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. Contrary to what a ganymede2010 thinks regarding the Titanic, history is NOT going to remember that films huge grosses (that record will be broken sooner rather than later) and history will NOT care how many oscars the film got. The film will have to stand on it's own merits and all that will matter is that it was and is a mediocre work, same way that Bay will be remembered as nothing but a hack.

  • April 29, 2007, 11:24 p.m. CST

    1008 posts!!

    by Mogwai Democracy

    this makes 1009. Lets crash the server! What's that burning smell?

  • April 29, 2007, 11:25 p.m. CST

    Iron Man

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    So far so good I say. Fav is showing respect as opposed to Bay's/Murphy's overt disrespect towards the fans that maintained a two plus decade franchise alive. TINO was dead on arrival when Murphy got his mits on it. It just snowballed from there. Script, Bay, designs, Murphy again.....

  • April 29, 2007, 11:28 p.m. CST

    Titanic 2

    by wadi77

    They are making it, Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Kathy Bates are all set to come back. Sam Mendes is directing this time.

  • April 29, 2007, 11:29 p.m. CST

    Well put, Mogwai Democracy.

    by Galva

    Big Macs and Coke are fine, but if I order a steak and get a Big Mac and Coke... I'm not gonna put up with that. ****** Aren't I just brimming over with great metaphores today? I'm like a shark man, I just gotta keep on... bein' sharky...

  • April 29, 2007, 11:31 p.m. CST

    BSB, hope you enjoy it.

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    Jennifer Connelly and Kate Winslet. That's a win/win situation. I've crushed on Connolly since I was in the fifth grade....and I still have yet to see Blood Diamond. I'll pick it up next time I'm out.

  • April 29, 2007, 11:33 p.m. CST

    Solid point, HeWhoCannotBeNamed...

    by Galva

    ... thank God Iron Man slipped through his (Murphy's) fingers. How's that for a comparison? Ironman has the potential to be the best Marvel movie to date, and Transformers has the potential to de-evolve anyone sitting too close to the screen. Sigh... back to the point, though. Don Murphy doesn't get enough shit. Mike is an asshole, but Don Murphy is a serial franchise murderer.

  • April 29, 2007, 11:37 p.m. CST

    Murphy royally fucked From Hell & LXG

    by HeWhoCannotBeNamed

    He seemed generally interested in making Transformers right by indication via his con symposiums. Lying sack of shit. Double talk at it's best. But hey, he's rich, so that makes it okay, because as a film fan and a consumer I don't matter.

  • April 29, 2007, 11:37 p.m. CST

    My Space is for....

    by mrtwig48

    ....little kids and gays.

  • April 29, 2007, 11:39 p.m. CST

    Combo hit, Kurzinski Valentine.

    by Galva

    Yikes, I'm becoming a cheer leader. Still, yes, the designs... from an artistic standpoint, they're a marvel of detail, and that's nice. However. That doesn't make for good DESIGN. A static peice of artwork? Sure. A sculpture, a painting, yeah. Some kind of gigantic, intricate toy with thousands of moving parts? Great work. But a horrible, horrible DESIGN for a CHARACTER. The only way to tell them apart is to look at where the bigger pile of trash is- "That one's really fat, it's Starscream, that one... um... who the hell is that with the lumpy feet?" Robots were easily distinguishable in G1, even the fucking REPAINTS were more distinguishable from eachother than these damn things.