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Can the TRANSPORTER handle Frankenstein's ride for Paul WS Anderson?
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. Ack!
I guess Jason Statham is reintroducing himself into the world of film. He did that shitty looking and unreleased Uwe Boll movie and now he's trying to claw back into passable films again. The next wrung of the ladder would be Paul WS Anderson and that's where he is now.
He's almost locked in to fill David Carradine's leather as Frankenstein in Anderson's remake of the Roger Corman cult classic DEATH RACE 2000, directed by the brilliant (and late) Paul Bartel.
I guess he's not a bad choice... I mean, he's already making modern day big budget Roger Corman-esque silly shit (CRANK, right?). And it could be an interesting remake, but I just can't get excited about a Paul WS Anderson version of this movie. No word on a rating, but I'm sure we stand a good chance of a watered down PG-13 version of this story. Ick.
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that is all
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Really?
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Who hated it?!
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Just got off the phone with Uwe Boll.. he said he's gotta eat with MCMLXVWhatever = Flames on Optimus.
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Are you insane? the good thing about Statham is that he's not expensive to hire, the transporter 1 & 2, Crank? These would have been R if they had someone who demanded $20m per movie and had that to recoup from the box office? Statham means there's a decent chance of an R rating in all it's gory!
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he ruined what could have been amazing, alien vs predator.
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The most absurd action-film of all time! And entertaining from the first to the last second! Sometimes it tries too hard to be hip and innovative, but it's the best actionfilm of the last 5 years!
And I'm pretty sure that Statham can be one of THE next big Actionstars! Vin Diesel is already forgotten again, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is still looking for the right role, but Statham is maybe just one or two good movies away from being the next Bruce Willis. (Okay, a kinda intimidating Bruce Willis.) -
he ruined what could have been amazing, alien vs predator.
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Still as long as he doesn't get a job with that hack Bay he hasn't worked with all 3 of the industry's worst directors.
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http://tinyurl.com/ysw6zn
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Ah, Lionsgate. Putting the laughter back in slaughter.
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Now the interesting one will be Machine Gun Joe orginally played by Sly Stallone. Adam Baldwin perhaps?
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He and Ice Cube are cursed. Just when he and his agent are ready to seal a deal, the suits whip out a copy of Ghosts of Mars and his price drops.
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...can barely put words and coherent sentences together...isn't there any number of actors that could do a better job than this?
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his American accent is pretty ropey, he's certainly not A-list, best suited to east-en rough house roles and hard men. I'm not expecting too much from this, I'm sure it'll look the business (and be lacking in all other depts) but Bartel and Corman's original is untouchable, a fantastic slice of classic 70's low budget cool.
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A coffee table could direct a better movie than that hack. He, Brett Ratner, and Uwe Boll need to stop making movies; then the world can unite, hold hands, and sing a happy song of peace, like in that Coca-Cola commercial from years ago.
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The original, that is, and although it's more clever than 100% of Corman-directed junk, it's really not that much. I'd put it on the level with the underground scenes of the superior Boy and His Dog. Carradine doesn't do anything interesting in this, and it's just very rote, waiting for the next car to blow up. But I never knew Mary Woronov was such a hottie. So how can this be messed up when it isn't much to start with but some of the usual "repressive government" stuff with some goofy cars, kinda like Wild in the Streets meets The Gumball Rally, but without the politics and that gem of a line about why the 55 mph speed limit makes no sense.
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And I hate to be that guy, but "wrung" is something you do with a wet towel. A "rung" is a part of a ladder. I say this out of love, not condemnation.
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Damn you Michael Bay
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C'mon, the second one was hilarious. We need more! Get John Woo to do it and it will be gold!
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Wrung = past tense of to wring/twist something. Rung = a step on a ladder. Arrrrggghhhh!
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"DEATH RACE 2000 IS THE SLAM-BANG SHOOT&CRASH 'EM UP THRILL RIDE OF THE YEAR! YOU'LL BE ON YOUR FEET CHEERING FOR YOUR FAVORITE DRIVER!"
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was Guy Ritchies last film. The worst british film ever made. Did anyone here from the uk see that very funny episode of star stories where they satirically put ritchie through the mincer and ripped his fake cockney thing apart. brilliant.
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How that didn't make Statham into a William H. Macy character actor I don't know. He's brilliant, really anchoring the whole thing together and making the dialogue kick huge ass.
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almost cried laughing at it. The best one was the catherine Zeta Jones one.
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seriously. shut the f*ck up about paul ws anderson. we get it. you hate him. bravo. now shut the f*ck up about it. there are MANY worse directors than him. go pick on them. jeeez. fan boys are so into tearing people down. if you can make better movies- go do it. be more productive. or, the community will eat itself...
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Even though someone suggesting Ralph Fiennes was almost as good...even if he is a sex addict. But this makes me wonder what the hell the status is of another '70s remake featuring a masked psycho in black...
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He's doing Babylon A.D. right now,
based on 'Babylon Babies' which is a crazy f-in book, check it out. -
People still like action movies, but you don't see the same guys getting all the roles.Keanu Reeves, Jason Statham, Mark Walhberg and a few others continually make action movies, but their presence won't guarantee the box office that Sly, Arnold, or Bruno used to back in the late 1980s - early 1990s. People these days go based on the individual movie a lot more than based on the actors. Star power still counts in action, but not like it did.
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unwatchable. I should know. I didn't.
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You know..... Cock Hungry? I read Kevin Smiths book (Silent Bob Speaks) and he says something about how people would be suprised if they knew that the " Hulking action star who most women fantasize about being rescued by so they can rub his shaved bald head against there tits" really prefers to fuck men. The only hulk like bald action star I could think of when I read it was Vin Diesel. He also talked about another star who liked to take a ride on the glass bottom boat (lay under a glass table while a naked chick takes a shit on the table eww) No guesses as to who that was but I think he was refferring Diesel as with the Dirt episode.
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Who's gonna direct Jason next? Fred Olen Ray? Jason - get a new agent, son. In the meantime, I say we put Uwe Boll back in the ring, this time against Statham. Paul WS Anderson is to be commended for not remaking a video game for once, but he should still stand trial for crimes against decent popcorn flicks at the International Criminal Court. Statham, seriously, get an agent who cares. Make more movies like CRANK mixed with something that can push your acting a little. And work on the accent. I don't know what language he was speaking in THE ONE...
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Wow we've really hit the bottom of the barrel
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Paul W.S.Anderson. Instead get Paul Thomas Anderson to direct. Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Frankenstein, tons of cocaine, 70's tunes, 3 hours long , etc. Gravy.
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A: The man's clearly got a healthy sense of humor. You don't do two TRANSPORTERS and CRANK if you don't. B: He's a credible onscreen ass-kicker, unlike so many latter-day "action heroes". C: Nobody wants to see Statham play an American. A Brit in America is fine, that's part of the magical formula that gave us TRANSPORTER 2. It annoys the hell out of me when UK actors I like come to America and pick up fake-ass American accents that wouldn't fool anyone other than ESL students. D: TRANSPORTER 3. Dude, make it happen, and make it happen with the original team of Louis Lettrier and Cory Yuen directing and Luc Besson writing/producing. TRANSPORTER 2 was just pure fun, with no bullshit urge to be "taken seriously". Fuck taking it seriously, I want jet-skis on the freeway and shrink-wrapped tuxedos in the trunk and jumping to avoid death by plane crash.
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I could be quite interested in this remake- seriously the first one has dated badly. However, sadly, the talentless twat has inexplicably got his useless mits on it so I will avoid like the plague.
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What do these Hollywood producers think they're doing? These movies have built up cult followings but that doesn't mean they've got a huge audience out there hungry for a remake. Learn from the failure of Grindhouse!That's right producers of ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK: THE REMAKE, I'm talking to you! Take the number of DVDs of Escape from New York: the original sold in a given year, divide it by half, and that's how many people's morbid curiosity might get them into the cinema for the remake's opening weekend (and that's all you care about). These cult favorites are not a goldmine for remakes. The fan base is loud but small and they aren't really impressed by seeing the same story retold with more special effects and some stupid modern ethical message about the envirnoment or whatever. Just put out really fancy special edition DVDs of the originals and count yourself lucky to reap those profits because that's where the profit ends.
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I don't buy that "he's too short" bullshit for a second. This Statham guy has the on screen charisma and athletic ability to be a great action star. Unfortunately, he's done nothing but Van Damme-quality movies to date. With the right director and script he can easily rocket to action superstar overnight. I'm pulling for you, Jason!
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but he is going to ruin this movie. I doubt he'll roll out senior citizens as car fodder.
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because that would be good. It will be some psuedo bollocks that completely changes the original a la Rollerball. And we all know how good that was.
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Pure bliss for the first hour or so. Absolute gold.
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I believe Paul WS Anderson and Uwe Boll are the same person. Notice how you never see them together. Oh yeah...and their films suck too!!!
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You're spot on with your comments, a very good example is The Avengers. The film itself is done quite well but there just wasn't the audience.
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So he's a man-god in my book.
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ATTENTION PAUL WS ANDERSON:
QUIT SHITTING ON EVERYTHING I HOLD NEAR AND DEAR!!!! First it was Mortal Kombat...then you made the worst zombie film in history with Resident Evil. then in one fell swoop you destroyed both Aliens and Predator. Let me guess, in your version of DR2K, the racers are in an enclosed indoor arena and everyone uses 3D maps to find their way? STOP MAKING MOVIES YOU ASSCLOWN!!!! -
Seriously this guy sucks. Why do people hate Uwe Boll so much more? Compared to Paul "Wet Shit" Anderson he looks like David Fincher.
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At least Paul WS' films are watchable (not good, but watchable). I have literally seen dog shit better made than Uwe Boll's films.
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Yeah I know he sucks but Wet Shit has actually ruined established franchises and should have been decent films. Boll just ruined films that were bound to be shitty anyways.
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That's a whole lot of venom that you are pissing on Statham. Let me see if I got this right? Statham said some shit about internet reviewer sites while promoting the Dungeon Siege piece of shit. Now you are all pissed at him and have to talk shit about him? Cause you can't really be that just that unforgiving talking about our boy from Lock Stock and Snatch.
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Why do you have to try to ruin a man's livelihood? Or was that supposed to be "ruin a lively manhood?"
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I like Statham. Where was I pissing on him? I'm just saying that he seems to be pulling himself out of the desperation/depravity of working on a Uwe Boll movie and the first step back into the light, the rung (I spelled it right this time) above Boll is Anderson.People are misinterpreting my statement about CRANK. I think the movie is fun. But you can't honestly watch that movie and say I'm wrong when I call it silly shit.I also have nothing against Paul WS Anderson as a person. I've heard he's the coolest guy in the world to bullshit with, a real geek. I like EVENT HORIZON, but everything else he's done really gets on my nerves. I hope he makes a great film out of Death Race, but his track record speaks for itself. This is his follow-up to the amazing piece of work that is AVP.No disrespect to Statham. He's not a horrible pick... although I'd much rather see him in the Sly role and with a more trustworthy director.
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I like his movies. I really liked Event Horizon and though I think he has far from reached greatness, I think this site has been way too hard on him. (I would rather sit through a million of his movies than one of Michael Bay's, Kevin Smith's or Brett Ratner's. Serious.
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Too true man, too true.
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Sorry, sick as a dog yesterday. Now that I read it again, I don't even see where you are pissed at Statham. Somehow the idea of being pissed at someone got into my head. I can't figure out how? Ah... I read the blasphemy 'Uweboll'. There it is. Ya can't really hear that and not suddenly start hearing everything else thru shades of shit. Sorry, Quint. My bad.
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It's "Machine Gun Joe Viterbo". best movie name ever!
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Don't get me wrong, Statham is a cool guy and I watched Crank just to see him kick fools in the face. Only problem? Not enough ass kickery. There was like 3 times more fisticuffs in the PG-13 Transporter movies. But Crank didn't deliver the goods. Granted it had its funny moments like when he had the need to "beat some black ass" but it was absurd funny, almost groan-worthy. That being said Paul WS Anderson can bite my bulge. Aliens vs Predator, PG-13? He betrayed what should have been THE sci-fi movie of the decade just to make it more acceptable for parents and preteens. I mean really. And thats all I have to say about that
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he was great and scary in Cellular.
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...makes me immediately think of a gargantuan pile of green baby shite. It should be a swearword.
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I'm just going to squeeze out an Anderson... What a pile of WS... Put a longer skirt on - I can see your Anderson... Have you just let off an Anderson, you dirty fucking cunt? Etc.
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...Boogie Nights WAS pretty good.
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Well, I just figured if Kate Beckinsale can give birth to a Len Rosenman offspring, and Milla Jovovich can tote P.W.S. Anderson's fetus...then...might as well...
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