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Quint has a little VACANCY review and big rant! Attention theater owners, this concerns you!

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. I’m sorry if this first part comes off as angry, but I have to admit I’m writing this a little pissed off. Maybe more than a little. I went to see VACANCY tonight at the Regal Metropolitan, a theater I’ve been frequenting since it opened, both as a member of the local press and just a regular film fan. It’s one of my favorite chain theaters in town. I’ve been meaning to write an editorial on this for a while. I almost did it in my ShoWest coverage, but that was getting whiney enough. So let me do it now. ShoWest is for theater owners, right? They discuss the newest technologies, digital cinema, 3-D, new concessions, better seats, piracy, home video… They spend 4 days talking about that stuff and how to get people to keep coming to the theater. I wanted to stand up and shout, while all the theater owners were around, that the answer is simple. Enforce your no talking policy. Simple as that. Kick the assholes who talk out of the theater. That’ll solve much of your attendance problems right there. And you don’t have to take my word for it. Entertainment Weekly recently ran a poll asking what keeps you away from the theater. It wasn’t the convenience of DVD. It wasn’t the ticket prices. It wasn’t the concession prices. The overwhelming majority said it was because people talk through the movie. Case in point… tonight. VACANCY. I should have known it was going to start off badly when the radio guy from Hot 93.3, a sponsor of the screening told the audience that since the screening was free we need to give the mothers of the crying babies some room, give them time to calm the child down. Someone in the audience said back, “Yeah, they can have time to take them to the lobby.” A lot of the audience voiced approval and the radio guy responded with something like, “Seriously… just give them some time. You didn’t pay anything to be here, so just give them some time.” Let’s try to find how many things are wrong with that statement. One, the film is a horror movie rated R. In a perfect world families wouldn’t be bringing their toddlers to this movie in the first place. This isn’t an animated Disney flick where you expect to run into some young kids. What does it matter if the screening was free or not? I give up my right to enjoy the film if I go to a free screening? Which is also, by the way, my job. To watch these movies early. I’m sure the other dozen press in attendance appreciated some radio DJ telling everybody it’s okay to make noise during the screening because it was free. The biggest trouble with this guy’s statement wasn’t mommy with her baby. It gave a license to anybody who wanted to talk, hold conversations with their friends and family. Almost immediately, the group behind me started talking. This was a middle aged father, his 30s or older daughter and two others… could be friends of more relations. I never found out. The talking didn’t end when the lights went down. Their voices didn’t lower or stop when the RESIDENT EVIL 3 trailer played. They kept on having their conversation when the opening credits for VACANCY started. I shot them a look. They saw me, but kept talking at normal volume. I said, “Please stop talking,” about 10 seconds later. The conversation didn’t even falter. I waited another 5 seconds before I said, “Shut the fuck up.” This time they stopped their conversation and the father turned to me and said, “Just turn around.” I said back, “Just stop talking.” He then said, “Don’t you curse at my daughter.” I said, “I said shut the fuck up to you, but whatever. Learn how to watch a movie.” The guy wouldn’t let it go and started puffing up, telling me to mind my own business. My buddy, Kraken, at this point piped up and told them to stop talking so we could watch the movie, still in the credits. He got lip back and said, “Fuck this. I’m going to get a manager.” And left. Suddenly the group behind me silenced, finally. Kraken returned with the manager and the guys behind us were like, “We didn’t do anything… we weren’t talking!” and the manager said she’d be keeping an eye on them, but didn’t do anything. So, for the rest of the movie I had to listen to them say muddled insults under their breaths and rustle their plastic bags (for their snuck in food) dramatically for 20 seconds at a time. Of course all this stopped every time the manager walked by… It’s sad to me that if the manager had known they snuck food in, then they might have stood a chance at being removed from the screening, but not when they disrupted the movie. This is the heart of the problem right here. These people know they can treat theaters like their living rooms, forget about any semblance of common decency because the theaters won’t enforce their no talking policy. Theater owners… there’s a reason the Alamo Drafthouse is world-known, why it has been voted best theater in America. Their programming is part of it. The concept of serving food and beer while watching a movie… that’s part of it. But a big part of it is that they actually enforce their no talking policy. You know when you go to the Alamo that if someone is loud, it’s as easy as letting the management know and the problem is solved. Same goes for the Arclight in LA, also one of the top theaters in the country. If some of these chains can get their shit together and actually enforce their own policies maybe that might draw some people back to the theater. I’m talking to you Regal, Cinemark and AMC. I’ve had these problems in all your theaters. It’s such a small minority that act this way and they only do it because they get away with it. It should be one strike you’re out. No refunds. You know, like they used to do it before they stopped giving a shit about the show and experience of going to the cinema. It might mean hiring a couple more people per theater, it might mean being vigilant, it might mean a manager has to have the sack to confront these people, but I guarantee you that if the major chains began enforcing their own policies you’d see a rapid decline in chit-chatting and an increase of people wanting to go out and have that theater experience again. Piracy gets all the attention, but here in the States I firmly believe that something as simple as people talking during movies serves as a bigger threat to theater attendance. I love movies. I love going to the movies, but even I am getting dangerously close to the point where the only movies I’ll see theatrically now are in a theater like the Alamo that enforces their own damn policies. Despite all that shit, despite the under-the-breath threats and the rustling bags and being aware that the dicks behind me were trying to get under my skin, I still enjoyed VACANCY. I don’t know how much more glowing a review you can get. I need to watch it again, when I’m not so pissed, but I was pleasantly surprised. If you haven’t seen the trailer… don’t. It’s a decent trailer, but it does overplay its hand, showing way too much of the movie. I was worried that the trailer was going to leave nothing new to see in the flick, but thankfully that wasn’t the case. All you really need to know about this movie is that Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale play a couple who have car trouble in the middle of nowhere. It’s just a device to get them into this creepy motel run by the creepy Frank Whaley (SWIMMING WITH SHARKS and PULP FICTION). The bickering couple check into one of the rooms, waiting for a mechanic to arrive in the morning. They quickly discover some tapes and realize that it’s not just some horror movie on these unmarked tapes, but snuff films. Not just snuff films, but snuff films set in the very room they’re in. The shit hits the fan and it’s a struggle for survival for this couple. Directed by Nimrod Antel, who directed the Hungarian flick KONTROLL, a movie I haven’t seen yet, but I’ve heard nothing but great things about, does a great job at building the tension with little more than mystery, sound design and atmosphere. Mark Smith, a fairly new screenwriter, crafted a fine thriller. It’s not flawless. There are points where the characters do some stupid things or, even worse, don’t do obvious things. For instance… you see this snuff film, you find cameras in your room, you’re under attack… you don’t take out the cameras? Why not? Sure, they come into play later in the movie, but I just know if it was me they’d be gone first thing. Some of the character dialog between Wilson and Beckinsale is weak, too forced. You can just feel Smith wanting to fit in a backstory for these characters and it just comes out awkward and at unrealistic moments. But the biggest compliment I can give to Smith is that he took a great central concept and lived up to it for the majority of the movie. Wilson and Beckinsale do well in their roles. You root for them to get out or outsmart the baddies despite the forced backstory part. Just their reaction to the situation, their natural dialog… they’re likable people. You don’t want to see them go out like the poor bastards on the video tapes. It’s a strong thriller and I think it’s going to do very well, despite the crowded weekend. I like HOT FUZZ more, and if I were going to recommend one movie this weekend I’d send you to FUZZ, but I can’t knock on VACANCY. I also quite liked FRACTURE, but it’s the weakest of the three movies… worth seeing just for Ryan Gosling and Anthony Hopkins playing mind-games. And IN THE LAND OF WOMEN was also a movie I quite enjoyed. Like I said, crowded weekend. If VACANCY was the norm for studio thrillers, we’d be sitting pretty. After the movie, the douches behind me left and made little “cry-baby” gestures at Kraken and me as they exited the theater. They can be happy all they want, but they never did finish their conversation. To be clear, Hai, the studio rep, was balancing two different screenings and said that if he had heard them or even been approached with my complaint instead of the Metro's manager, then the tools would have been asked to leave. I don’t think the studios want people talking during the movies. I don’t think the filmmakers want people talking during the movies. I lay all the fault at the feet of the theater managers. They hold all the power here and they choose to let things lie. Then they complain about a drop-off in attendance. -Quint quint@aintitcool.com



Readers Talkback
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  • April 19, 2007, 11:05 p.m. CST

    First!?

    by salamimansam

    Thanks. I agree.

  • April 19, 2007, 11:06 p.m. CST

    And just to be clear

    by Quint

    There's a big difference between reacting to a movie and talking through it. Laughing, screaming, gasping. That's all part of the shared experience of watching a movie with a crowd. I'm talking about people cat-calling the screen, holding loud conversations with their friends, holding loud conversations with the characters on the screen, etc.

  • April 19, 2007, 11:08 p.m. CST

    RANT

    by salamimansam

    Thanks for that quint. I will never forget the time I sat in front of a woman who was giving a play-by-play over her cellphone while watching 'The Last Samurai'. "OH NO HONEY! HE DID NOT JUST TEACH THOSE LITTLE CHINESE GUYS TO PLAY BASEBALL!" When she said that, I stood up, turned around and said at the top of my lungs: "SHUT UP OR GET OUT!" And she did neither. 'Chinese guys'?WTF?!?!

  • April 19, 2007, 11:16 p.m. CST

    I had a kid kicking the back of my seat during Crash

    by BadMrWonka

    it was actually more honest and emotionally compelling than anything in that movie...

  • April 19, 2007, 11:16 p.m. CST

    Right fucking on.

    by Tubbs Tattsyrup

    I had to suffer through a couple such douchebags at PAN'S FUCKING LABYRINTH. No theatres here in New Zealand enforce any kind of no-talking policy. And at Batman Begins there was this cock who kept asking when he was going to turn into a bat (?!?!). Fuck them all.

  • April 19, 2007, 11:22 p.m. CST

    That was a good rant, and I'm glad someone I trust...

    by iamnicksaicnsn

    liked Vacancy. That still won't allow me to convince any more of my friends to see it, but at least <i> I </i> know that it'll be good.

  • April 19, 2007, 11:25 p.m. CST

    RIP-OFF!!

    by DarthGuapo

    wasn't this the movie that blatantly ripped off The Strangers coming out? I heard Rogue sued and they had to take out scenes from the script.

  • April 19, 2007, 11:27 p.m. CST

    Movie Etiquette Sucks

    by Ghostwood

    I had some teen mom let her 2 year old demon seed loose while we were watching THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE remake. And the Asian translation of the midnight screening of RETURN OF THE KING premiere was enough to go postal. The thing I hate the most in these situations is that it becomes the entire movie experience. You can't give your mind totally to the flick up there on the screen. You're always wondering when the conversation is going to start again. The question is, how do we get theater owners to start taking responsibility for this shit again? Is there some kind of petition? Can we get that chick who hunger striked to get that kid off of American Idol to do the same for this?

  • April 19, 2007, 11:29 p.m. CST

    Quint

    by Sinisterjim

    FUCKIN' AMEN!!! My local fave theater (Harkins Bricktown 16, Oklahoma City) is actually pretty good with keeping the bottom feeders quiet. The AMC here is far worse, at least when we used to frequent it...glad to see someone else has the balls to tell a stranger to shut the fuck up, I've certainly swung my share of verbal assaults. Good job!

  • April 19, 2007, 11:29 p.m. CST

    Quint is a gentleman

    by Bob of the Shire

    I would have skipped directly to "shut the fuck up". Then again, I was party to a group that stomped our feet to "We will rock you" during the Yoda fight scene in Episode II. Guess I don't have much room to talk.

  • April 19, 2007, 11:31 p.m. CST

    Hire more staff = more profit

    by Kraken

    Honestly, theater owners and studios would make more money over night if they would hire more staff to do two things. Check that people actually have tickets to the movie they're seeing (you wouldn't believe how much money studios lose to this... more than piracy I would bet) and once the movie starts that people are not talking. If people knew that if they told someone was talking, something would actually happen, they would take more action. Eventually you'd see a trend where people would realize they could get kicked out for this, and it was die off more and more. Bring back the day of the usher! (or at least some bouncers!)

  • April 19, 2007, 11:31 p.m. CST

    Your my hero!

    by longevitymonk

    I understand your rant completely...I went to Tx Chiansaw the beginging at the westgate, some twelve year olds all the way across the theater caused so much disruption I had to get the manager...fortunately he kicked them out..but it doesnt stop there....almost every screening of any movie I attended away from the alamo this year and last were plagued with people who wouldnt shut the fuck up during the movie. This has been such a huge problem I have devised several plans to deal with such riff raff....option one...Im a movie geek, I admit I go and see movies I realy like more than once in the theater, sometimes I know the end of the movie before I have even seen it. If I have a problem at a screening like this, I ask twice, please shut the fuck up....if they dont...I tell them how the movie ends. Option two....I lie...I tell the manager of the theater "I asked them to be quiet and they swore at me, the threatened me with violence..they said they want to fuck my mother!" This is a last resort...BUT IT ALWAYS WORKS!

  • April 19, 2007, 11:31 p.m. CST

    i wish i was there i would have stood on my chair

    by JeanLuc Dickhard

    ready for a fight ..... quint i got your back....

  • April 19, 2007, 11:35 p.m. CST

    Just do what I do: buy a

    by Theta

    Just do what I do: buy a large water and if they're sitting behind you...OOPS!

  • April 19, 2007, 11:36 p.m. CST

    Amen Brother!

    by The Funketeer

    and enforce your R ratings as well.

  • April 19, 2007, 11:43 p.m. CST

    Too loud

    by aboriginal

    I've heard that the reason why trailers are so frakkin' loud is that they need to overcome the talking in the audience. I've noticed that the movie itself isn''t as loud as it used to be in most venues I hit in San Francisco, but I can remember almost needing to walk out and say WTF to the operater as I'd like to enjoy the flick and not wince everytime there's a gun fight. That's when the excuse hits about making it loud enough to overcome the talking - nice. Hey, I like it loud and all, but loud enough to overcome others talking during the movie? For me once the please shut ups and dirty looks are launched the movie's fucked for me. So goes the experience. I'm probably down about 50% year over year for seeing movies in theaters now just to avoid the assholes.

  • April 19, 2007, 11:44 p.m. CST

    A FUCKING MEN

    by Falcon5768

    Thats the only reason I dont go to films anymore. Im tired of paying 20 bucks for hearing some asshole teenager fucking around behind me. Or some fucking shit for brains parent with their 8 year old in a R rated movie. KICK THE FUCKERS OUT. DO IT. I would rather the movie stop and the manager come in with a cop and kick the stupid cunts out than to have to put up with them the whole movie.

  • April 19, 2007, 11:46 p.m. CST

    FUCK YES.

    by jimmy_009

    It's a nightmare going to the theaters. It's like the only people who go anymore are douche bag A-Holes. You wonder the whole time is this the night I get in a fist fight over some asshole who won't shut up? Or some teenage who throws candy at people in front of them. Some fun the movies are. They should put attendants in every theater and kick assholes the fuck out.

  • April 19, 2007, 11:56 p.m. CST

    I was at a screening years ago of "Renegades"

    by Vim Fuego

    These two bitches didn't stop talking from the moment they sat their arses down until one of them suddenly announced about an hour into the movie "It's shit this film 'init"!!!!! To be fair she was right, but that's hardly the point. I find the only way to make sure you're not disturbed by Cretins is to sit in the back row.

  • April 19, 2007, 11:56 p.m. CST

    Ever been stuck next to a guy snoring...

    by Javeyjoe

    on a train or some such tortured situation? After a while all you can hear is snoring. It becomes deafening. That's exactly what people talking in movies is like. Of course in Vancouver we'll always have the cautionary tale of the dude who got stabbed at Metrotown for telling some teenage bad boys to quiet down. Good times.

  • April 20, 2007, midnight CST

    Bad employees don't help either

    by doctor_gonzo

    One of the reasons they don't enforce the talking policy is because they have crappy employees. The chains keep their wages as low as possible to cut costs, but that means they end up hiring high school kids and other slackers who are too lazy to take the extra time to do some enforcement. That and chains always do the "customer's always right" BS, so that if you do try to enforce the policy more often than not the booted customer will then complain and possibly get the employee doing their job in trouble. Of course the suits don't realize that increasing wages means you get better employees who actually care about their jobs and will do it well. All they see is another place to cut costs.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:02 a.m. CST

    Creepy guy SAT NEXT TO ME!?

    by Ryang

    My complaint isn't about talking but about a freaking creepy, hooded, homeless looking guy with who plopped down next to my girlfriend and I during King Kong. There was like 6 OPEN SEATS to the left of me BUT HE SITS RIGHT NEXT TO ME! with all his baggy clothes and he keeps joslting around. Then he takes his feet out of his shoes and shows off his long, disgusting toe-nails on the back of the chair ahead of him where a couple happen to be sitting! About 20 minutes later he just got up quick and disappeared...security was in there a little later. Very fishy..and it really annoyed me! Kinda scary to...haha.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:07 a.m. CST

    One problem leads directly to another...

    by Christopher3

    Incessant talking and general incivility at theaters leads to movies being played at ear-splitting volume, both of which in turn lead people to stay at home and bittorrent and bootleg the shit out of new releases.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:08 a.m. CST

    Good job

    by team america

    That reminds me of a screening of Clerks 2 I went to. It's a Kevin Smith movie, so laughter and audience participation is to be expected, but there were three kids several rows ahead of us who felt it necessary to constantly announce how high they were. Now I'm generally able to keep that kind of information to myself when I'm watching a movie, and towards the end of the film, I couldn't really stand it any longer. I told them -- quite loudly -- to shut the fuck up. It was impulsive, and it was only right after I said it that I realized that it was just as disruptive as what they had been doing. Still, it shut them up for the rest of the movie, and everyone was able to enjoy it just fine afterwards. I'll try not to be as dramatic about it in the future should such a similar situation arise, but *man* can I not stand people talking throughout entire movies.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:10 a.m. CST

    Good job Quint! I've done the "shut the fuck up"...

    by kravmaguffin

    During a lot of movies, if that fails I stand up and physically threaten the person. I would only recommend this if you can back it up. You are totally right, theaters need to add security and have them walk around and remove people who cannot shut the fuck up. I hope you can enjoy the next movie.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:11 a.m. CST

    I used to be a theatre manager for one of the chains...

    by Toby Wan

    Quint is speaking of. On weekend nights, we got a pretty rowdy crowd in there. I would always watch ticket sales and figure out which film the hoodlums were going in. Then, I would send an undercover usher(no Uniform) in to sit with the crowd. Whenever they heard someone cracking wise, his or her ass was gone. Zero tolerance. Gone. When you walked in the door, there was an etiquette poster on the wall. There is your warning. Get the fuck out of my theatre. One night, I was short handed two ushers. I walked into a theatre, and some little bastard had ripped out a seat cushion and was using it as a frisbee. Swear to God. I walked upstairs, turned off the projector, turned on the service lights, and walked back into the theatre, and told everyone to get out. EVERYONE LEAVE. All 93 of you. No refunds, no passes; leave. Once you do that, word gets out on the street. The bullshit stops. And attendance goes up. Per cap at the concession goes up. And life is good at your little corner of the world. I hear ya, Quint, don't take shit off nobody. Good review, too. I will go see it. Thanks for sticking up for those of us that like to HEAR the movie as well as see it.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:15 a.m. CST

    I agree with you 100%, but...

    by Froduss

    if I was that guy and you said "shut the fuck up" in front of my family, the right to kick your ass would automatically have defaulted to me. Of course, I've been there buddy, I understand, but, wow... Shut the fuck up is fairly harsh in front of the ladies my friend. Wow.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:16 a.m. CST

    Well, you bring up an

    by Frontrow joe

    Well, you bring up an interesting point, people are the problem. Not just the ones that talk in theaters, but all of them. I've been a manager at a major cinema chain for almost 10 years, I think you can guess which one (look at my name). You see cause I'm the manager with a sack, and all to often when I tell people to follow the rules of the theater, I'm told all sorts of things, alot of times in front of people like all of you, and guess what most of you do nothing. I know I get paid to enforce the rules, but should I have to sacrifice my dignity as well? I've seen adults act worse than any child, just you sell out a Shrek movie, I dare you. My point is this when you work for a "major" it's just not as simple as "enforce the rules" because as soon as one of these fucks complains to corporate, bye bye bonus. So the next time you see a manager of one of these buildings taking it on the chin, stand up and back them up, vocally, in front of the rude ass. Not only will you help the manager out but you will help change happen.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:22 a.m. CST

    Toby

    by Quint

    If there were more managers like you, this article would never have had to be written. I'm sure I've never had a chance to visit your theater, but as a frequent movie goer I'd like to say thank you.<BR><BR>Change starts at the top. If the theater owners backed up their managers in upholding this policy, then there wouldn't be any fear of retribution from pissed off assholes.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:23 a.m. CST

    I get all bad-boy Rude Boy in the Regal Met, Quint.

    by Doctor_Sin

    I told some fucker to quit gabbing on his cell, but he kept answering it during the film. He was speaking Spanish, so I yelled, "Silencio, pendejo!" That whole goddamn theater went DEAD silent. People were afraid to laugh at funny parts. man, it was rugged.<p>That place, I guess because of location, really gets the fucktards. It's like going to a fucking football game at the World Cup, surrounded by drunken working class yobs. There is a guarantee of confrontation there.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:24 a.m. CST

    Froduss

    by Kraken

    Well, it's not like Quint whipped out the "shut the fuck up" right away. He gave them 2 chances to stop, asking in a polite way. Plus, this wasn't a "family" as in little kids, it was a shitbag with his 30 year old truck stop daughter. But if they didn't want to hear the word fuck, maybe they shouldn't have been in the rated R horror film in which Luke Wilson literally screams at the top of his lungs the word FUCK at one point. If this was a Pixar movie, maybe you'd have a point.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:32 a.m. CST

    Oh, my wife got into it with some mom over her rude kid

    by Doctor_Sin

    Man, the Regal Met is an awesome theater but it can be a haven for dumbasses.<p>One thing, keep an eye out for the occasional usher popping in. When one does, just get their attention and fucking sic them on some rude mf. Do this a few times and the have THEM go get the manager to go hassle the offenders. Just make their movie experience such hell that it suddenly becomes enjoyable fun fucking with some loudmouth. You can always catch the film again, but times like this are priceless.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:32 a.m. CST

    Hell yeah...

    by fluffybunnywhiskers

    Most annoying shit ever when people talk through movies and why I don't spend 9 bucks on half of the films that come out and wait for the DVD. Should start a petition and send it to Regal, AMC and all the people to bring back theater etiquette. They get boosts of sales tickets as people return to theaters, and we get to see the movies we pay for... everybody would win. Maybe AICN could write that up so we can sign and send it to the heads of these theater companies?

  • April 20, 2007, 12:36 a.m. CST

    great rant

    by nastygram

    I'm 100% with you on this one. I had the same sort of situation when I went to see Grindhouse opening night. Some jackasses in front of me kept talking all throughout; eventually I told them to shut the fuck up. They dismissed me, so I grabbed a manager. The manager hemmed and hawed before finally agreeing to come back (making me miss ~15 minutes of Death Proof). At least he kicked the assholes out (but he did so because they'd also snuck fast food into the theater).

  • April 20, 2007, 12:36 a.m. CST

    Froduss, I told a whole row of 15-year olds to STFU

    by Doctor_Sin

    They incurred my wrath. And the fucking usher caught them tossing popcorn around later and busted them. I almost tripped them as they walked down the steps. Fuck 'em.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:36 a.m. CST

    i agree with everything but.....

    by dauphin534

    the whining movie industry line about how not enough people are going to the movies, wah, wah, wah. i go the theatre at least once a week, and most major movies i've seen have been packed. i wouldn't want to go if there were more people. i know the theater owners have a shitty deal with the studios, but if there any other problems with their profits, it doesn't seem to be attendence. it may not be growing at the same rate that the stockholders would like. But when they keep building more screens and are currently releasing 10 MOVIES A WEEK!!!, how could it meet expectations?

  • April 20, 2007, 12:39 a.m. CST

    Totally agree fluffybunnywhiskers

    by Javeyjoe

    Petition the fuck out of these guys. Seriously.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:44 a.m. CST

    Worst theater in Austin, imo, is the Westgate

    by Doctor_Sin

    Goddamn, it's on a major bus route all the teenagers and homeless take. It's across the damn street from Buffet Palace. There is a constant stream of parents letting kids out there. That place can be pretty festive with the kiddies and the cell phones and the "cutsey" ringtones, and the "ganstas mackin on they bitches" and all the other little teenage fads and fashions.<p>BEST worst Austin Theater used to be the Southwood dollar theater before it went LaserTag. Holy goddamn. You'd be sitting about a mile from the screen, watching a 200th-generation worn and wrinkled print, listening to gang members tossing insults around and a bunch of shadowy hand signals filling the screen. "Mars Attacks!" in Southwood was like being in a true 70s grindhouse. Some fucking bipolar woman was talking TO HERSELF about martians. Damn.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:44 a.m. CST

    AND not only that...

    by dauphin534

    IF people are skipping out on the the theater experience, they are definitely renting or buying the DVD's 2 months later. the profit margin on DVDs is ridiculous for the studios. compared to the more expensive VHS tapes, the cheap cost of DVDs that sell for the same price has allowed the studios to make out like bandits. so we get all these articles perpetuating the myth that the studios are struggling and getting us to feel sorry for the rich bastards, while ignoring how much more money they are making in the home market. could an industry that releases an average of 4 movies a week really be struggling all that much?

  • April 20, 2007, 12:45 a.m. CST

    Get Real Here

    by antonphd

    Theater employees make less than fast food employees. They DON'T get raises... EVER. Do you understand that. NEVER. No holiday pay, no overtime. Movies are exempt. They are asked to stand around 90% of the time with nothing to do but try to look busy or some asswipe manager gives them shit for not vacuming the floor for the hundreth time. Most NO LONGER GET FREE MOVIES. No popcorn no soda, nothing. They are ussually teens or college students, so, really? you think they are going to risk getting their ass kicked telling a GROUP of dicks to shut up?! How about shot? How many assholes show up drunk or high to movies now days? You want to fuck with a group of drunk assholes? Some theaters have cops now. That's good. I go to a theater nearby with a cop and nobody fucking talks EVER. But that sucks to have it police state to go to the damn theater. Oh, and I'm talking about theaters in Montana and Washington states. Do you think it's worth it for $5.15 an hour to deal with fucking retarded customers? Do you think managers make much better? They don't. And video stores aren't a hell of a lot better. It's fucked up that people are assholes in movies... but DO NOT blame the employees. They don't have control of shit. Most are students in high school or college. Of course, there's also the massive theft problem in Theaters from managers who take off with 10s of thousands of dollars at a time or worse, 'lose' a print of a film. Theater chains are worst run nation wide business in this country. I'll shut up now, but my best/worst times in college were working at a theater. It wasn't as bad then. Now... I just feel sorry for theater employees.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:48 a.m. CST

    I understand Quint

    by Kamaji

    Still, what kind of woman takes her baby with her to a R-rated film? Maybe these are the women who basically had unprotected sex and then felt that if this baby made my life miserable, then I'm going to make everyone else's life miserable around me! Sorry, had to vent there. But seriously, I hardly ever see films, and only if I'm really psyched to see it. Though personally, the last really awesome audience experience I had was at the sneak screening of 'Hot Fuzz' here in Chicago- that screening has been my #1 favorite screening of 2007. I heard no loud talking during that screening, no cellphones going off-I was along for the ride and the audience laughter and reaction was like a rolling tidal wave of geekdom. Sadly, I probably will not have this same experience when I see 'Hot Fuzz' in a regular theater. Personally, there were so many times as a former theater projectionist I just wanted to shut the film off, and do almost what Toby Wan did. Though having worked in a theater, once the last shows have started, almost every other person was assigned to help other members of the staff-aka noone to patrol the late night theaters, to squelch the cries of the screaming babies of single, unwed jailbait.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:49 a.m. CST

    re:dauphin534

    by Kraken

    You're forgetting that movie theaters don't see a dime from dvd/vhs rental/sales. That's why this rant was directed at them more than the studios. Personally, I still like going to see the movies, not just renting them. But these movie talkers are going to ruin all of that. It's not so much about studios making a bigger profit, that's just a by-product of a more enjoyable movie going experience for all of us and bringing back some magic to going to the movies. The "more profit" argument is a way to get the studios and theater owners motivated to help us stop these bastards from ruining the movies.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:49 a.m. CST

    good theaters and bad theaters

    by Wizejoker

    When I went to the Gateway to see The Departed this past fall, I had a horrible time through the sold out screening. Almost everything mentioned above happend through out the movie. I really should have went to the drafthouse or Arbor.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:54 a.m. CST

    Right on, Quint!

    by Proman1984

    Especilly considering that people don't react when you tell them to stop.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:55 a.m. CST

    Theatre Owners-HEED THIS RANT!!!!!!!!!

    by Jobacca

    This is the no. 1 reason I WONT see a film opening weekend-too many assholes. I wait and go in the middle of the day in the middle of the week while most folks are at school or work. People today have NO manners,and this is never more apparent than when they get to the theatres. EVERY GODDAMN THEATRE NEEDS A BOUNCER!!!!! Not an "Usher"....a 300 lbs. ex-con with a bad attitude and nothing to lose by dragging the assholes out back and fucking them up untl they beg for mercy...and to all you teenage moms out there....STOP DRAGGING YOUR FUCKING KIDS WITH YOU EVERYWHERE YOU GO!!!! Hire a babysitter or stay the fuck home till your little rugrats are old enough to know when to shut up!!

  • April 20, 2007, 12:56 a.m. CST

    This is a Universal Problem

    by Happyfat73

    I was at a screening of Children of Men in Sydney... the teenage chick behind me just kept saying to her friend over and over again... "Let's go for a walk. C'mon, come for a walk with me. Let's go for a walk."</p> I cracked it, turned around and shouted, "For Fuck's sake, just go for a fuckin' walk!"</p> They didn't go for a walk. But I think they might have shit their pants a little.</p> Let's not get started on mobile phones either..

  • April 20, 2007, 1 a.m. CST

    Going for a walk in Sydney

    by Doctor_Sin

    Wtf? I wonder why the hell teens GO to movies anymore. They all go, meet with their friends and then talk about stuff they'd rather do, then argue with bfs and gfs on their phones...*after* paying for the movie.<p>Worldwide, we need serious muscle to enforce politeness at theaters it seems.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:01 a.m. CST

    kraken

    by dauphin534

    i didn't forget about that it's two different industries, and i guess i was just venting and wanted to shoe horn my argument into this talkback. however, i don't think the "more profit" argument holds up because i really don't feel like the theaters don't have enough customers. when an obvious piece of crap like night at the musem makes as much money as it did, we can't argue that there aren't enough customers. there just aren't enough customers buying popcorn. and according to their deal with the studios, that's actually the only place they make much of a profit.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:08 a.m. CST

    Nightmare Customers

    by PhantomZone111

    Like some of you, I was a manager at a major movie theatre chain for several years. One night, a harried looking mother showed up with her eight-year old daughter. She purchased two tickes for "Event Horizon." I explained to her that it was R-rated due to violence, bloodshed, the works. She gave me a "just give me the fucking ticket" look and I complied. Sure enough, when the move was over, the woman dragged her screaming/crying child out of the theatre, while YELLING at her to shut up. So let's see, 18$ dollars to see a movie versus a lifetime of paying for therapy for your child.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:08 a.m. CST

    Reminds me of when I saw Jason X & Kill Bill Vol. 1

    by ZombiKiller86

    I remember going to go see Jason X and wanting to be entertainted by finally getting to see a Friday The 13th movie on the big screen, but has to gret ruined by a couple who literally did not shut the hell up through almost the entire film. I would have had a good time if it wasn't for the two dimwits that kept talking (thank god for DVD though). Kill Bill Vol. 1 almost got ruined for me coming towards the house of blue leaves segment when a group of women brought their two year-old kids into the movie that made constant noise. My one friend I was with ended up telling 'em to "shut the fuck up" real loud, and surprisingly they didn't make another peep. So yeah, people talking during the movie really pisses me off.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:13 a.m. CST

    All it'll take is a few of these fuckers getting...

    by MaxTheSilent

    ...shot where they sit to make theatre owners and ignorant mouth-breathing cocksuckers like the ones you described to learn how to fucking behave in a movie theatre.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:13 a.m. CST

    Alamo does a great thing for parents

    by Kraken

    They have baby day screenings, where they allow parents to bring their children to see rated R films. Otherwise, it's no children under 12 (I think) for Rated R movies, even with parents permission. If chain theaters would start doing this, at least for the after matinee showtimes, it would be a good first step against this problem. Also, that anti-cell phone paint can't come out soon enough. Now if they can just develop anti-asshole paint too.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:14 a.m. CST

    I'm with you, and I know the real cause of the problem

    by jabbayoda

    I was an asst manager at a movie theatre in Fort Worth for a year. Big theatre, 17 screens, really great business. My department was the usher department, so I was in charge of kicking out the talkers and the pricks. Well, unfortunately it's basically impossible. Theatre managers view ushers as the absolute scum of the staff. Therefore, we get the lowest payroll budget there is, so we just don't have the staff to take care of problems. Ushers don't bring in any money (in theatre managers' minds), so it's easy to say "We'll do 6500 people tonight, let's schedule 4 ushers!" Fuck that. Ushers are always understaffed at theatres, because theatres just don't care about the customers. They throw all of their payroll budget into the concession stand. Fuck that. Anyway, on behalf of theatre employees, we usually want to do more but it's out of our hands. I suggest you make corporate complaints about talkers. At the theatre where I worked, a corporate complaint fucked with the GM's bonus.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:14 a.m. CST

    I WROTE THIS A YEAR AGO

    by doctoremittbrown

    If you spend more money on food at the movie theater then for the tickets, then walk in late and stand there like a bunch of cattle with that "oh dam, where we gonna sit" look plastered on your moronic face, while you talk to your equally mush-brained piers during the opening of the movie which the people who came early and decided to not get asinine amounts of food so that they could focus on the film they paid alot of hard earned money for instead of stuffing thier mouths like scurvy ridden swine, are trying to pay attention to. Then you finally sit down and it takes you about 5 minutes to get cituated, figuring out what appaulingly disgusting tray of vomit fried pig poo belongs to what ignorant moron, and when you finally are done you've missed a good bit of the opening dialouge, but it doesnt bother you cause you just want to see the extreme action that is hopefully not wieghed down by a good thick plot with characterization, and you stuff your mouth hole untill the concessions finest offerings are gone, thus making it time to ENGAGE THE CELL PHONES!...you start to get a little bored with the movie, all those people keep talking and building up thier characters and storylines, just no action to be seen...thus you pull out your HOT NEW kickass celly and you check to see what time it is, and surprise you recieved a call, so you figure why wait, there isnt any action going on, maybe you can call your bud right now..."ey...what up, im at da moovies man...yeah...batman rayterns or sumtin...yeah ok...peace". The you sit back and torture yourself through the almost unbearable amount of extremely boring talking, but yet you seem to intermittently amuse yourself by yelling things like "DAM", "UH-AH", "HE CRAZY", or "OH SHIT!". Of course the people around you not only are interested in your highly intelligent observations, but they hope and pray you start telling them whats happening on the screen with loud piercing wails of ignorance. "OH DAM HIS CAR DONE BLEW UP!"..."HE SO CRAZY, HE PUNCHED DAT BIOTCH IN DA FACE YO" and then you are finally soothed down to a beautifully quiet calm as the plethora of action which is not enough to satisfy your tastes of course, flows gently as a silken female thigh over the screen, giving the patrons around you a painful absence of your biting and true commentary. Then to thier dismay the movie starts to seem like its coming to an end, sure the credits havent rolled and the characters are still talking and the plot is still being fleshed out, but you and your idiotic deluded action hump have been filled with enough to suffice for the night, so you get up, of course making a very much appreciated rucus and obstruction of vision to leave the movie you got to LATE and hardly paid attention to during so that you can no doubt call the monkey dicked loudmouth ass bag that you talked to earlier in the runningtime and tell him how "da moovie suked" cause it was so boring. Then all that is left is the theater is the sad pathetic mess of human that is me, now once again forced to question the existence of not only spiritual justice but the very existence of a loving god, all over something so insigfigant and worthless as the sheer ignorant miracle that is your behavior at the movies and the fact that you steal my air on a daily basis...and the fact that im pathetic enough to get this peeved over YOUR IGNORANCE!!!!.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:15 a.m. CST

    Fuckin A Right

    by Yommers

    I cant stand when douchebags do that kind of shit. My worst experience was during Aliens vs. Predator (which really didnt need to be made even worse by an awful audience) and the woman behind me kept yelling at the screen. "RUN BITCH!" "HES GONNA GET YO ASS!!" and then at the end "BITCH, PREDATOR WANTS YO PUSSY" I kept telling her to shut the fuck up, and she would say it right back to me. And the icing on the cake was that everyone was laughing at her, so she kept right on going. So now I'll never see horror movies in theaters again, unless its in my 3 local art-house cinemas which dont get loud ass jerks to begin with.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:21 a.m. CST

    Quint there is no chance in hell....

    by lotusblade

    Of the Big Chains doing anything to promote proper movie viewing. They're totally screwed up and run like a communist country. It's totally fucked up. For one the pay level of the lackeys is pathetic. The pay level for management is horrible unless you're capable of earning your bonuses. The biggest problem is that any complaints made about you to corporate means no bonus. Guess what? Those people you kick out? They call and bitch about you. It's a guarantee. I know some people who managed a big chain in Austin, and they knew if they were getting their bonus simply from knowing if they kicked anyone out that month. The only chance you had of making a difference was at Show West, and talking to the higher ups at those chains and getting them to change corporate policy. They should be picky in choosing their management, and they should back those people up. Bonus should be based solely off money made.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:28 a.m. CST

    Personal Home Theater

    by AlwaysThere

    Thank God for High End Receivers, HDTV's, and nice speakers.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:31 a.m. CST

    Froduss

    by underscore_only

    You sound like an ass. If you were the guy you'd beat up Quint for swearing at your yabbering ass? A thirty year old woman can hear the word fuck. What she can't do -- apparently -- is shut the fuck up.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:32 a.m. CST

    AlwaysThere

    by lotusblade

    If you get nice speakers, it's a shame you're using a High End Receiver. Is that like a High End Yugo? Fuck HDTVs too. Projectors are where it's at. Plus they are cheaper than HDTVs now too (you can get a nice 720p dlp for under a grand).

  • April 20, 2007, 1:38 a.m. CST

    Yeah, I've run into this problem many times...

    by DarthCorleone

    ...even at the mighty Arclight. It sucks. I usually can get people to shut up with the annoyed half-turn.<br><br>And for the record, "shut the fuck up" while watching an R-rated movie is more than warranted.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:38 a.m. CST

    The service industry has largely created this.

    by Barry Egan

    I work in a restaurant and I think most people in the service industries (whether it is retail or food or some other) have incredible horror stories of boorish behavior by the public. The bottom line is most of these corporate entities have helped to create this problem because they positively reinforce bad behavior. If a person goes into a business and acts like a asshole, they will get something in return. The negative behavior is reinforced. The corporations don't care if their employees get treated like pieces of shit because the people who make company policy NEVER actually have to deal with the public. Moivie theater chains are no different.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:39 a.m. CST

    PhantomZone111

    by antonphd

    Holy shit! Event Horizon?! You are exagerating about the therapy! Wow. I've seen bad parents, but that's really fucked up. That movie was fucking twisted and especially for a kid. Didn't you wish you could just tell them NO. No dumbass, you can't take your little kid to see Showgirls. Yes, it DOES have the dumbass girl from Save By The Bell, but NO, it's not a Disney movie.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:40 a.m. CST

    PhantomZone111

    by antonphd

    aren't exagerating

  • April 20, 2007, 1:48 a.m. CST

    Frodos

    by jimmy_009

    If you're chatting through the movie, your family deserves to see you get your ASS BEAT. Shut the fuck up doesn't go far enough. They need to learn a lesson that you obviously hadn't taught them. They deserved that and more.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:51 a.m. CST

    Barry Egan

    by lotusblade

    You got a point. You want a free meal in a restraunt chain? Just complain to a manager. Doesn't matter if you were a prick.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:51 a.m. CST

    Well I hate South Austin so I never go there...

    by Cotton McKnight

    I regard South Austin as just one big trailer park with a bunch of concrete highways thrown in. But here on the north side, I can't remember a time that I have ever really been annoyed by anyone at the level you're describing. During fantastic four, whenever that was, there was a kid running around but thats really about it. I'm not denying that this happens, but I don't think it's as frequent as you suggest. I dunno, maybe I go to movies during off peak times.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:52 a.m. CST

    This is why home theaters are so popular now

    by Ktak

    I'm a regular at AVS Forum, and noisy assholes in the theater is probably THE most common reason given for taking up the home theater hobby. People like me are willing to spend what is, to most folks, ridiculous amounts of money to replicate the theater experience MINUS the loudmouthed jerks. As an added benefit, you get to eat and drink anything you like. Kinda like an Alamo Drafthouse lite with a few of your best friends. By the way Lotusblade, I'm a separates and projector man myself, but to be honest, a good-quality receiver can still do a kick-ass job of recreating the theater audio experience at home. I've set up quite a few receiver-based systems for friends, and they do a pretty good job if you allow for their limitatioins. In fact, the new line of Onkyo and Denon receivers coming out this summer will be the first components available that will be able to decode and playback the new high-resolution audio formats on Blu-ray and HD-DVD such as Dolby Digital Plus, multi-channel uncompressed linear PCM, and DTS-HD Master Audio. All of these provide much higher sound quality potential than even the best commercial theaters. Unfortunately, Preamp/Processors with this decoding ability won't be available for a while yet.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:53 a.m. CST

    oh yeah and why do you like the regal chain anyway?

    by Cotton McKnight

    I have only been to the metropolitan a couple of times but aren't they notorious for dimming their projector bulb? Don't get me wrong, I go to the regal gateway as much as I go to any theater, but I wouldn't call it my favorite. You should check out the Galaxy theater by Highland mall.. I know where you go largely depends on where the screening is, but it really is the best regular movie theater in Austin. They do good work over there.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:55 a.m. CST

    Of course ya start off polite with a "please be quiet"

    by Doctor_Sin

    Then, you escalate to "shut up" THEN to the roughneck swearing. If someone is that much of an asshole, the rest of the theater will applaud you - just like an airline flight ganging up on a fucking box-cutter-wielding terrorist.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:55 a.m. CST

    Agree 100%

    by LeckoManiac

    I remember my worst movie going experience was on Christmas Day. My brother, a friend, and I went to see Wolf Creek. The theatre was packed. Now, we didn't have just one group of people talking...the ENTIRE theatre was holding a conversation. I swear. I have never seen anything like it. Every single person in the theatre was holding a conversation. It was like sitting in a cafeteria, but with a movie kind of on in the background. And then to make it worse some fat chick made a big fuss about this being the "Worse movie I've ever fucking seen" and stormed out of the theatre. Never again have I seen a whole theatre speaking in their normal everyday voices holding a conversation while in a movie theatre. All three of us walked out completely flabbergasted by what we had witnessed. Talking in movie theatres fucking sucks and the fact that I never know if and when my experience is going to be ruined definitely sways my decision of whether I should go see a movie at the cinema or wait for DVD.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:57 a.m. CST

    I wholeheartedly agree, but as a former usher...

    by Lance Rock

    I worked for some spineless mofos. People that would bend over backwards for the biggest of noisy shitheels. Most theater managers are craven cowards, sorry to say. But God Bless the Alamo!!!!!!!!!!!

  • April 20, 2007, 1:58 a.m. CST

    Shut The Fuck Up

    by DirkD13"

    should become the new TB mantra.

  • April 20, 2007, 2 a.m. CST

    And the fucking snobs in North Austin ruined this city

    by Doctor_Sin

    But that's a different thread altogether.<p>Notice we don't have Eastside being represented here? But, I don't know of any theaters over there - if there were, it'd be like living that "Deadliest Catch" show. Yeah, if there were East Austin theaters, I know NOBODY would be yelling STFU, for fear of gunfire.

  • April 20, 2007, 2 a.m. CST

    oh yeah one more thing about the Galaxy theater..

    by Cotton McKnight

    I know this is of little use to anyone outside of Austin, but I had a delightful conversation with the janitor over there.. he must have been in his 80s because he was telling me about how he was a WW2 veteran and he got the "movie bug" after showing films on the ship where he served. I think he talked to me for almost an hour, telling me all about the old movie theaters in Austin, what it was like working the Star Wars showing on May 25th, 1977, etc. It was one of the most rewarding conversations I have ever had with anyone in my life, and I just thought I'd share. I wish there were still people like that running the theaters. Nowadays (particularly at the regal chain), all you see is some 20 year old bozo in a really cheap suit walking around with a walkie talkie.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:04 a.m. CST

    Fuckin' A! Death to movie-talkers!

    by Zardoz

    I have had so many problems with movie talkers at theaters in the Bay Area. It's ridiculous! One time, a woman next to me started making a cell phone call during a movie; I told her I was going to shove the phone up her ass if she continued talking!(she moved away, but never hung up and continued her conversation at a safe distance!) Another time, a Russian woman was translating all of the English dialogue for her friend, and LOUDLY. Yet another time, I told a woman and her boyfriend, who were talking loudly AND eating peanuts and throwing the shells all over the floor to shut-up or I'd have the manager throw their inconsiderate asses out. (They left the theater and never came back!) But you have to be careful, I've nearly gotten into some serious fights about people talking during movies, and it's just not worth it. Luckily, if you go to an AMC theater, just ask for your money back and they'll do it no questions asked. (I know, it sucks, it's not YOUR fault and you should be able to see the movie without interference from those insensitive assholes, but it's something) My favorite occurence: getting some teens busted for being drunk and rowdy ejected from the theater! (News flash morons: don't bring beer BOTTLES into a theater, use a flask, like I do, or bring CANS!) I can't wait until the Sundance chain finally finishes work on the new Kabuki theater; real food and booze, reserved seats and (hopefully) vigilant ushers to throw the talkers out!

  • April 20, 2007, 2:04 a.m. CST

    Also annoying: the "move down a few seats" people

    by Executor

    I hate getting to a movie a half hour early, getting good seats that I want, just so two dipshits (usually some dude on a date. hint: pick her up a half hour earlier) can stroll in as the lights dim and see one empty seat at one end of the row, a second at the other end, then play the whole "will you move down so we can sit together" game. No. Get there on time. Last week some girl asked me to move down, I look and the guy sitting in front of the seat next to me is a fucking giant, shoulders and all above the head rest. I told her "no thanks, I'm happy with my seat." She looked at me like I just stole Christmas from her. Fuck that. Get a watch, look at what time the movie starts, and get there 15-20 minutes early.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:05 a.m. CST

    LeckoManiac, that reminds me of "Wing Commander"

    by Doctor_Sin

    My friend and I got a free pass, so we went (because the theater was FULL of people to see the Star Wars trailer). About 90% cleared out after the trailer (we stayed because it was free). Holy crap. That place turned into a MST3K-style free-for-all about 20 minutes in. Some guy in an Ultima Online shirt started yelling for quiet and me and two other guys were doing Star Wars-style voice overs while some guy up front shouted "Das Boot" every time Jurgen Prochnow was on screen. The guys behind us in Wing Commander shirts just laughed the whole time and muttered stuff like "this fucking sucks." I have never borne witness to such hatred for a film.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:06 a.m. CST

    go see a late showing

    by dubsy

    thats what me and my friends all did. the local multiplex was a haven for high school kids, but once 10 pm hit, it died out, and became mostly young adults (20-30). And people would just watch a fucking movie. We never had a problem with people being rude or talking too much. Sure the theater wasn't always as crowded, so you wouldn't get the full movie expierence, but you rarely got that anyway with kids who would talk and be disruptive. I'll refuse to see a movie that starts between 7-1000. unless its during the week and the movie has been out for awhile. friday/sat. nite, opening weekend? fuck that.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:07 a.m. CST

    These always make me laugh.

    by StayBeautiful

    Look, I work at a movie theater. Lots of you make it seem like the theater manager is the be all end all of the movie theater. Guess what every shithead who gets kicked out of a theater somehow thinks theyve been wronged and 9 out of 10 times calls and complains to customer service.Guess what, the next day the manager gets all this shit from home office dispite whatever the circumstances may be, like its somehow their fault.Also, I think its unfair to expect theater chains to be as harsh as some independent theaters. Managers at the chains have people to answer to for their actions, Its sad the people they have to answer to are people who honestly have no clue what they are talking about. But face it, the chains appeal to the mainstream(just look at the films they choose to play!) and who is that? Mostly teenagers. Look, there obvisously wont be some rule changes, I mean there are rants like this all the time and what gets done? Jackshit.Sad but true. My advice to anyone is this. "Do you really need to see the movie on a friday or saturday night? We are open on weekdays you know, and guess what there are absoulutly no teens to deal with, and if somebody else is talking it can be dealt with. I hate when people show up on a friday night and come out and complian that there are people talking.Honestly what do you expect from us.(nowhere on anyones job discription does it say babysitter) The fact is customers outnumber the workers 40 to 1 on busy weekends(sometimes even more). Anyone going to see the mainstream movie opening night shouldnt expect silence. At an artsy theater, yes, but please you know what you're getting yourself into right while your driving though the parkling lot.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:08 a.m. CST

    Inspired article

    by chiko032

    This article inspired me to write a blog post: http://www.lanbrew.com/blog/?p=16 And I totally agree about the talking shit. I HATE IT. In fact I have almost stopped going to movies just to avoid it. Anyway, thanks for voicing the correct opinion!

  • April 20, 2007, 2:10 a.m. CST

    For the record, I love Executor.

    by Doctor_Sin

    That is the shit that gets me, too. Especially at EVENT films like Star Wars, Matrix, Spiderman, etc. You do NOT show up late for that shit in your tuxedo and expect everyone to make way. Nope.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:16 a.m. CST

    Glad to see im not alone, i'm probably the worst at

    by bongo123

    getting pissed off during a movie if some cunts chatting, in the last 2years ive grabbed a mobile of a coupla asian kids who were yacking into it and threw it outa the cinema, grabbed some hoody fucker by the hood and dragged his ass outa the cinema for talking with his mates, yelled at some mother who brought her kid to a horror fucking movie which was scaring the little guy making him cry, probably didnt help the kid much, and generally threatened to fuck with several people for talking. When im paying £15 to see a movie with the wife and some cunt talks through it, i dont wait for some pussy manager who couldnt give a shit to come sort it, i just get up walk over to them and yell at them, usually works, people are easily intimated by some random crazy looking stranger, obviously these rules change when there a big fucker, then i send the wife

  • April 20, 2007, 2:17 a.m. CST

    100% AMEN

    by Booster Gold Lives

    Someone should print this out and send it to every theater chain's CEO, because it's 100% true. We've all had to deal with assholes like this at one point or another. Even if it doesn't put more butts in the seats, it's a matter of principle and fucking courtesy. Kudos, Quint.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:28 a.m. CST

    And stop text messaging during movies!

    by FilmCritic3000

    First, my own experience with people talking during a movie (of which I, like every moviegoer, has experienced)...When I first saw "Land Of The Dead", the audience wouldn't shut the fuck up and management was nonexistent; I got to go back the next day and, thanks to a connection, see it for free. When I saw "Training Day", a baby started crying halfway through. A lone voice yelled out, "Man, someone needs to shut that baby up!" Said voice grew into many and the parent quickly left and never returned. A baby? At "Training Day"? Are people fucking idiots? It's like Quint said -- why the fuck are parents taking babies and little kids to rated R movies?! These are the same assholes that scream and yell because their kids heard a naughty word on the television. And now the text messaging...more and more often someone a row in front of me will whip out their cell phone and start furiously text messaging, their glowing screen a big irritation. I seriously don't get it - why the fuck are you paying to see a movie if you're going to sit there and socialize with your jackass friends via technology? doctoremmittbrown nailed it in his post. Sadly, much of society's become a bunch of ignorant idiots who can't sit still for more than a minute and pay attention to a movie, nor hold two contrasting thoughts in their heads. Then again, when we're talking about people who talk during movies, "thoughts" aren't something these people ever have.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:30 a.m. CST

    A young woman softly moaning (from the seat behind me)

    by JDanielP

    I was with a friend at a second-run theatre. It was especially cheap to get in, which is partly why we where there. Anyway, it was hard to focus on the movie about half-way into it...while this young, Spanish speaking couple was obviously getting a bit naughty right behind us. The Spanish dude was doing all the talking, whispering very quietly in his native tongue. (Just not quietly enough.) And the young woman began ever so softly moaning... which continued in rhythm, as I'd continue hearing this man's voice between her moans. For some reason, I can hardly remember a thing about that movie. But the sound of that young woman experiencing a certain amount of pleasure? Well, ...that's like a song that I'll never get out of my head. And you don't need an interpretor for moaning.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:32 a.m. CST

    Things Need To Change

    by MovieMgr5150

    I am a Manager for one of the top ten Theater companies, and I would love to have the budget to police the Theaters the way it should be done. I can tell you that as long as actors are getting 20 million dollar paychecks, and dvd release windows are as short as two months, maybe less, things will not change. The entire industry needs an overhaul, and the wealth needs to be distrubuted more evenly from the top of the chain to the bottom. If actors like Brad Pitt, and Tom Cruise, got there paychecks from the backend. instead of huge upfront paydays, maybe they would pay more attention to the scripts they choose, instead of starring in some shit movie just for the paycheck. And the Theaters should be able to keep more of the Box Office, then we could afford to schedule that extra usher, or pay a Manager more than a dollar over minimum wage, so they will actualy give a fuck about thier job. I have been in the Theater industry for ten years, and I truly love being around movies for 40 hours a week, but if this industry is going to survive, THINGS NEED TO CHANGE!

  • April 20, 2007, 2:36 a.m. CST

    also

    by StayBeautiful

    they wont do shit beacuase its almost another company altogher. Someone comes out from home office to our theater 2(at most 3)times a year, an thats just to check on the faclities.As long as the movies are running and there is money coming in they dont give a shit. I remeber this time when this women from homeoffice came to see a movie and tried to get free popcorn and I wouldnt give it to her, and see started complaining.Finally the manager gave her some and she turns and looks at me and says "its ok we all work for the same company" bullshit. Id like to see her clean a theater, sweep the floors, get treated like shit by 95% of the guests for a night and then see what gets done.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:37 a.m. CST

    ADD ME TO THE LIST

    by The Real MiraJeff

    Everyone has experiences like this one and Quint's right, it's absolutely ridiculous. I had to give some kids a tongue-lashing (that doesn't sound good) during The Matrix and my friends still joke about how I reacted. Of course you have to be polite at first, say please, and all that jazz, but sometimes these people are so persistent, I feel like doing the accidental 'oops I tripped and dumped my Coke on you, so sorry, I think there's a hand-dryer in the bathroom you can stand awkwardly beneath as you wait a half-hour for your pants to dry.' I plan on seeing Vacancy too. Hearing the ending is abrupt and not that great but the rest is pretty intense. I think it's a great change of pace for Luke Wilson and Beckinsale looks hot, as always. Plus I did see Kontroll and while it wasn't great, it was shot well and overall impressive enough to make me excited by Nimrod Antal. Hopefully there won't be a bunch of chuckleheads talking at the Grove...

  • April 20, 2007, 2:38 a.m. CST

    Executor...you're so right!

    by FilmCritic3000

    At the movies, aside from Chatty Cathy dolls, nothing pisses me off more than a big swarm of people coming into the movie (usually laughing and talking) as it's starting. The rest of us managed to get to the theater on time; learn how to read what times the movie is showing and arrive accordingly. I've always maintained that if I ran a theater, once that movie starts, your ass ain't getting in. The studios would be livid but tough shit. On the "talking during movies" topic, a company called Trademark Cinemas, recently re-opened a long closed theater here in Savannah and spent $1 million renovating it with digital sound and stadium seating. I haven't been yet but their ads and website clearly state that after 6PM, anyone 16 or younger *must* be accompanied by an adult. Long story short, theater chains need to, like another poster suggested, start policies like I hear the Alamo Drafthouse has - your ass talks, you're gone and you're not getting back in.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:38 a.m. CST

    doctoremittbrown

    by fluffybunnywhiskers

    Usually, those types of people, it makes me feel better to imagine those people walking out of the theater, out into the parking lot, crossing the little street to get to their car, then as their foot hits the pavement and they're halfway across... BAM THEY GET HIT BY A BUS. it makes me happy to think about. Maybe I'm an evil person... but whatever stops us from getting violent in reality, right?

  • April 20, 2007, 2:41 a.m. CST

    StayBeautiful

    by fluffybunnywhiskers

    Seriously... I'm proposing NOT to bitch to the managers, I think people should sign a petition to the CEOs of the companies demanding that they don't crack down like military on everyone, rather they start to advertise proper etiquette, post rules for theater attendance and start advertising anyone breaking the rules will be asked to leave. Not crack down like a whip, but simply enforcing rules politely that should have been there forever. You don't need to make underpaid employee's lives hell for this... we just need to send a message to the CEOs of people that profit is in it for them, more people will compliment their chain and go there. Everyone will be happy.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:41 a.m. CST

    But seriously folks i gave up going to see a movie

    by bongo123

    on the opening weekend, i see them now during the week, on a tuesday or sun afternoon when attendance is low and usually filled with movie lovers and not teens. Fri & Sat nites are hilarious and all of my antics were on those days, its hard to wait a few extra days to see a big movie but for peace of mind and enjoyment i stay away from the big nites as they're usually filled to the brim with teens, young couples & old people who couldnt give a fuck. But theatre managers should periodically check in on shows on the fly for a few mintues just to keep an eye on things.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:44 a.m. CST

    Honestly...

    by fluffybunnywhiskers

    Debating on writing up a petition to be sent to Regal and AMC with a list of a couple of thousand names on it, deeming us all "the movie-going public" who are sick of this inadequate behavior from some of our "peers." Could write it up politely and see how it goes maybe... but maybe someone else would like to write one/it. Or maybe it's a bad idea/worthless?

  • April 20, 2007, 2:44 a.m. CST

    I agree but, unfortunitly

    by StayBeautiful

    I agree but, unfortunitly though the people who want a great movie going experience are out numbered by the teens and families with young children so its not likely to happen anytime soon as all the CEOs and such only care about money not their name.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:47 a.m. CST

    Stay - It's a matter

    by fluffybunnywhiskers

    It's a matter of convincing them, through thousands of names, that we represent a hefty profit for them... using rises of home theater equipment and ticket falls as evidence that many people are disheartened by poor etiquette and that we would be very appreciative of at least an attempt at reviving the rules that they themselves have, but are unenforced. If we could convince them through numbers and a petition could circulate, they might listen... it would just need to circulate through strong sites like AICN and a lot of blogs.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:50 a.m. CST

    The CEO's Won't Do shit

    by MovieMgr5150

    send all the petitions you want, all that will happen is angry e-mails will be sent to all the General Managers nation wide telling us to get our shit together, and our paroll budgets wont be incresed 1 fucking dollar to do it

  • April 20, 2007, 2:52 a.m. CST

    I honestly think the best

    by StayBeautiful

    I honestly think the best thing that could happen would be if employess like myself threated strikes. A simple "I get paid too little for the shit I deal with" from a large number of workers at the bottom like myself would get them to notice that something really is wrong. Unfortunitly they make us sign something when we are hired that even taking about a strike can get you fired.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:52 a.m. CST

    I'm pissed just reading this.

    by heyscot

    Goddamn, I HATE it when people talk like that. I feel like fucking killing people who talk like that during a movie, because it completely ruins the whole fucking experience for me and my wife and makes us waste all that time and money. People who talk during a movie like that should be shot. And people who have little kids--DON'T FUCKING BRING THEM TO THE FUCKING MOVIE! GET A FUCKING BABYSITTER, YOU GODDAMNED HILLBILLIES!

  • April 20, 2007, 2:54 a.m. CST

    Quit If you want

    by MovieMgr5150

    you will be replaced the next day, I hate to say it, but its the Theater companies that need to hold strikes, to get a fairer shake from the studios

  • April 20, 2007, 2:56 a.m. CST

    Perhaps you theater employees

    by fluffybunnywhiskers

    Perhaps you employees should petition instead lol. Nah seriously, Mgr I suppose has a point. I'm not for one to bitch to people who's not at fault and not to flame for my problems, so to make you guys pick up the slack of the movie-going public would be wrong, clearly.. figured, perhaps though if we could encourage wheoever has the authority to start actually advertising good service to raise their own profits and actually take pride in it and take care of their audience, then it would be worth it. But if they do nothing, don't give any money to theaters and expect miracles from the managers, all would be wasted anyway. Fucking sucks.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:57 a.m. CST

    Quint described my recent theater visit

    by Carnotaur3

    ... to like a freaking T. Me and my sister go to see Perfect Strangers (not that bad, but not great either). This is Carmike theater chain, not Regal. Anyway, there are like three loud mouths in the back toward the left, stomping up and down the stairs (like fucking children), almost yelling back at their mates. I mean, it was a wonder that they weren't even paying attention to the movie they were paying for that whole 2 hours. It was terrible. I wanted to lay into them, but I kept thinking it would just get worse if provoked. The theater patrons came and went a few times, but I guess they didn't notice these people. It was worse though when I saw King Kong, and when you're sitting there and the movie is dragging on for 3 hours with someone who brought their 3 to 4 year old kids and what looked like a something month year old baby (I shit you not), you're in for a bad time at the movies. These kids were kicking my seats, screaming, runing up and down the room. Is there ever any parenting left?

  • April 20, 2007, 3:04 a.m. CST

    I wish things were better

    by MovieMgr5150

    I sometime feel loke my hands are tied, I know how things should be run, but due to budget constraints, I cant do it. If I dont meet my budget I get fired, and then how do I feed my kids

  • April 20, 2007, 3:07 a.m. CST

    MovieMgr

    by StayBeautiful

    When I say bottom, I dont really mean just the kid that scoops the popcorn,its includes the projectionists(which I am) the managers too. You should know what they get paid. The corperate part of the company does absolutly nothing for us, maybe a bonus for the managers at the end of the year. Free movies for the rest of us? whats that cost them nothing. Its sad, I really love my job and the people I work with but Ive been working at this theater for nearly 4 years now(30 hours a week on average) and I make 75 cents over minimum wage. The owners dont care about the workers so why should they care about the guests? I think that needs to be addressed before the actual experience. If we were treated a little bit better prehaps the effect would travel down to the guests experience as well. I hope that doesnt make it sound like us workers dont care as so many of you think, becuase the majority of us really do.

  • April 20, 2007, 3:09 a.m. CST

    Right On! Sing It, Sister!

    by Bungion Boy

    I love movies and see them all the time. But living in New York I can't stand being in a crowded theatre full of people who have no respect for the rest of the audience, and especially the movie. I go to a lot of advance screenings but when I pay to a movie I find myself going in the mornings more and more. It's less crowded. I need an empty theatre to enjoy a movie. I wish that weren't true. I would love to go to a saturday night sold out show but everytime I do they are full of people talking and worse. Talking to each other, but talking to the movie? I can't stand it. This has to change. I'll continue to sit through commercials before the movies if I can watch the movie undisturbed. Thanks for the rage, Quint.

  • April 20, 2007, 3:09 a.m. CST

    Right On! Sing It, Sister!

    by Bungion Boy

    I love movies and see them all the time. But living in New York I can't stand being in a crowded theatre full of people who have no respect for the rest of the audience, and especially the movie. I go to a lot of advance screenings but when I pay to a movie I find myself going in the mornings more and more. It's less crowded. I need an empty theatre to enjoy a movie. I wish that weren't true. I would love to go to a saturday night sold out show but everytime I do they are full of people talking and worse. Talking to each other, but talking to the movie? I can't stand it. This has to change. I'll continue to sit through commercials before the movies if I can watch the movie undisturbed. Thanks for the rage, Quint.

  • April 20, 2007, 3:10 a.m. CST

    Ktak

    by lotusblade

    My current system's prepro is an Arcam and they sent me a letter stating that when their new unit comes out with HDMI 1.3, etc. that I can upgrade to that unit for an unknown amount to be named later, but to be less than $1000. Seeing that I paid over $5k for it... that's not a bad deal. Plus my Arcam/Martin Logan combo might just be about the best you can get without spending close to a $100k.

  • April 20, 2007, 3:15 a.m. CST

    Cell phones, glass bottles, spilled drink when shushed

    by JDanielP

    Example #1.)Cell phone rings and impaired drinker says into phone, "I can't talk right now, I'm at a movie!" #2.)Then there's the sound of empty glass bottles hitting the floor and sliding. #3.)Kids with a laser-pointer, shinning it on the movie screen. #4.)Then this other time, my worst experience ever at a theatre, ...where there's this loud woman with her friend, whom comes in as the opening credits role, and sits right behind my wife and I. And there's lots of available seating. But no, they sit right behind us and continue to talk. My wife gives them a look. They get louder. My wife shushes them (like a school teacher might quiet the kids). "How rude!" the woman responds. Then my wife says, "Shut up!" Then... get this... the woman says, "Oops!" while she spills her entire large soda behind us (mostly under me, as she was sitting right behind me), which goes under our feet as she intended. We follow her out to the lobby where she was getting her free re-fill. And as my wife and I were getting our money back to leave the theatre, she says something about having a nice day. And to be honest, ...I wanted to hit the fuckin' bitch. (And those are two words I've never used in these talkbacks.) And you know what? I'd still like to hit that fuckin' bitch.

  • April 20, 2007, 3:17 a.m. CST

    Theater Pay sucks

    by MovieMgr5150

    My District manager says if an employee has been with the company a year and does an average job, he does not automaticaly get a raise, he/she should be able to do the job of 2 people, can you believe that shit, honestly!! an average employee hanging on for an entire year, should get a raise, and a fucking medal!!

  • April 20, 2007, 3:21 a.m. CST

    Its all about cutting

    by StayBeautiful

    Its all about cutting corners. I'd really like to see where half the profit is even going.

  • April 20, 2007, 3:22 a.m. CST

    cutting corners

    by MovieMgr5150

    in some corporate bigshots pocket that is where

  • April 20, 2007, 3:25 a.m. CST

    We should go beat on his car

    by StayBeautiful

    We should go beat on his car with a baseball bat, walter shabchak style.

  • April 20, 2007, 3:27 a.m. CST

    Hell Yeah!!!

    by MovieMgr5150

    fucker would just get his insurance to fix it tho

  • April 20, 2007, 3:56 a.m. CST

    Enforcing policies does work!

    by Horace Cox

    One of our local theaters had a problem with rowdy punks on Friday and Saturday nights. It culminated in a huge fight in the parking lot after some rowdy teens were kicked out, and one vile cunt actually kicked a cop responding to the call in the nuts. They pepper sprayed the fuck out of her and arrested her along with a few other punks. The incident was thoroughly discussed on talk radio and in the news. Many people said they quit going there because of talking during the movies, loud aggressive punks, and fear for their safety. The theater immediately implemented a new policy that absolutely no one under the age of 17 would be admitted on Friday and Saturday nights unless accompanied by a parent or adult and mostl importantly, they enforced it. Guess what happened? Business boomed! That place is so busy on weekend evenings now that you practically have to hire a burro and a few sherpas for the hike to the theater because you have to park so far away. People returned in droves due to the theater simply restoring the peace of mind of what the undisturbed movie-going experience is supposed to be. Another chain sends ushers down the aisles periodically with those flashlights that look like they should be parking airplanes. ostensibly they are checking the emergency exits, but I believe it serves as a subtle reminder that they are patrolling their theaters. I thought is was retarded at first until I realized that people rarely talk during films anymore at that theater. Enforcing the rules does work! Don't run a policy trailer at the beginning of the film telling patrons to respect others by being quiet if you are not going to enforce it.

  • April 20, 2007, 3:57 a.m. CST

    Arclight

    by Dale Cooper1

    I've never posted in a talkback before, but this subject makes me want to throw in my two cents. Even at the Arclight, I haven't had a hassle-free moviegoing experience in years. Children of Men and The Fountain, not to mention The Departed, were all more or less ruined for me at that very theater... and this is the one theater in LA that's supposed to be first class! Back in the days when it first opened (as the Arclight, not just the Cineramadome), it was pretty moron-free, but now, if it's not conversations, it's text messages - you've got this little glowing box from some idiot's cell phone or blackberry glaring in your peripheral vision for minutes at a time, every time there's a slightly dialogue-heavy scene. I tried the Grove, the Bridge... same thing. I try the late shows, you get the drunks. I try the early shows, you get the rowdy teens or the parents that bring young kids. I used to see upwards of 50 movies a year in theaters, now it's maybe 15-20. Considering I am always bringing my girlfriend or a friend, that's a lot of money over time that these theaters aren't getting from me. How to fix the problem? I have no idea - my shushing and "shut ups" just tend to get these idiots more riled up. But the fact that I can't even have a pleasant experience for $14 a ticket (at the Arclight) is depressing to no end. I hope that discussions like this one become more prevalant and that theater owners take notice. We should keep this talkback going for weeks and throw all our venom in one place... even if it doesn't end up making a difference, it's good therapy.

  • April 20, 2007, 4 a.m. CST

    Meanwhile, in England...

    by palimpsest

    ...the same problem exists, but it doesn't sound like it's half the issue it is in parts of the US. A lot of this is down to the ratings system here. Pretty much everything passed at R for the US gets a 15 rating (no-one under 15 years old - period), so no kids and no mother-and-baby shows. Our 18 certificate (no-one under...ah, you get the idea) gets reserved for stuff with ultra-violence/sex etc, so again, none of the age-related issues for movies meant to be watched by an audience of adults. Plus the 18 rating isn't stigmatised in the way that NC-17 is in the States, so cinemas cheerfully show the films and they're advertised properly. The system's not perfect by any means, and arsehole behaviour isn't restricted to children, but the system helps. And besides, if a theatre is shitty, don't go there again. And complain. But not to some mouth-breathing minimum wage worker drone. Write to head office or something. Get a suit in the shit.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:01 a.m. CST

    Been there many times. 1 solution?

    by ledsyrus

    I'm totally with you Quint. I'm in the UK and I've had this crap too many times to count. On the worst occasion (Matrix 3) there was a gang of girls not just talking but walking about and laughing at everybody who complained. I figured they were drunk. After going outside to tell staff twice to no avail (they'd then be quiet for all of 5 minutes), I finally grabbed one girl by the arm as she was walking down the row in front (ok this was a bad idea) and told her through gritted teeth to "tell them to shut the fuck up". She cried foul, got me hauled outside by management and questioned while all ~10 girls screamed abuse at me. Then girl's dad showed up and started threatening to call the police. (Where the hell was he during the movie?) Turned out his daughter was only 13. In a 15-rated movie. Anyway, I'd like to thank that one guy who saw me get hauled out and came out just to back me up. I should have shaken your hand but I was too mad to think. Still, I demanded refunds for the entire theatre. I got them. Unfortunately the manager showed up with a stack of complementary tickets *just a little too late*- after most people had left the theatre. After that I started demanding comp tickets *every time* we had a people-talking problem. And got them too. Curiously enough, the problem seems to have improved in the last year or so. I think the cinema managers are finally seeing the problem and being more proactive.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:16 a.m. CST

    A universal Problem .

    by Papa Lazaru

    It is absolutley a universal problem. I have the same shit here in Dublin , Ireland Below is a copy of a letter I sent to the local multiplex last year , to which I never got a reply . Suprise Suprise . It will give you the gist of my experience and my feeling on the whole situation , without having to type it all again . Here Goes. Dear Sir / Madam I am writing to express my disappointment , actually disappointment is not a strong enough word , my disgust regarding my cinema experience in your premises . While attending the 8.00pm showing of Miami Vice last night ( 15/08 ) , four friends and I were shocked to see that a young couple had been allowed to bring three very young children , one of them being no older then 1 year . Surely they were not here to see a 15A film at this hour of the night , as soon as they realise they are in the wrong screen they will leave , I thought to myself . How wrong I was. Unfortunately for me and every other customer in the auditorium , they were indeed there to see Miami Vice. In fairness to the youngest of the children , he/she did not actually cause a disturbance through crying , maybe it was enthralled with the dynamics of Colin Farrell’s moustache and mullet combo up on the big screen but what did cause a disturbance was that the child never once stopped cooing and shouting , now I am not a parent so I don’t know the technical term for the noises a baby makes , but I’m sue you can use your imagination and try to fathom what it is like to have to watch a film while a baby , who is discovering its voice , decides the cinema is a perfect time and place to let the world know it means business. Accompanied with this serenading the child was doing , the constant ( I counted nine times ) exit and re-entrance of one of the parents with the child to the theatre was extremely annoying and distracting also . Again I am not a parent so I can only assume the child had some sort of dysentery problem to warrant disturbing the whole audience NINE times. However I am not writing to give my two cents on the couples parenting skills as questionable as they may be , bringing 3 very young children to a 15A film at 8.00pm at night that within the first 30 mins contained sex , drugs and violence doesn’t seem like good parenting to me but I digress. What I would like to know though is your policy regarding letting 1 year old children into the cinema, in a buggy ( did they even pay for child I wonder ) at 8.00pm to see a 15a film . While I understand that the new IFCO ratings state that as long as a child is accompanied by an adult , responsible or otherwise, they can be permitted . So while I appreciate that you are operating within the law by letting a baby into the cinema at this hour to see a 15a film . My question to you is this . Do you not feel you have a moral obligation to your other customers who have paid their money for tickets and more often then not food , by not allowing children as young as this to see this type of film at this time of day , or do all you care about is bums in seats , or bums in buggys in this case ? Now don’t get me wrong , I’m not saying children shouldn’t be allowed to the cinema , but there is a time and a place, and 8.00pm at a 15a film is not it . I specifically avoid the cinema anytime before 8.00pm because of this reason, let them have their time and let us adults have ours. The fact that you have a swanky new makeover did not go unnoticed either , so I have another question . Is it your policy to sell as many tickets to as many people as possible to recoup your costs, while having a total disregard for whether certain people of certain age should not be allowed access at particular times. If this is the case , can you ever draw a line on your indifference to your customers ? If I arrived up to the cinema tomorrow with 25 screaming toddlers , all hopped up on sugar and wanted 26 tickets for the 9.20 showing of “The Wind that Shakes the Barley” , would your ticket seller , ticket taker , security person even bat an eyelid ? Do you think they might say to themselves “ maybe this is not the best idea. Maybe I have an obligation to the other patrons in the screening to not allow them to be assaulted aurally be these kids , so maybe I’ll say no , maybe I’ll suggest another more appropriately themed film and another appropriate time ? Or as I said do you just care about bums on seats. Well let me tell you that this hypothetical situation will never take place and I will tell you why . I have been a loyal customer to the UCI cinema since the day it opened. If memory serves me correctly the first film I saw there was “Robin Hood : Prince of Theives “ and I have been going at least twice a month since then .. 1991 I think it was. Unfortunately for us both I wont be back. I have never felt so undervalued as a customer in my life and will now be taking my custom to the Santry Cinema , as will my four friends I hope the money you received from that one child ( if any ) was worth it because you have lost the custom of 5 frequent patrons , who by the way are all grown up , have jobs and credit cards and spend money freely . END OF LETTER . I'm sure people from all around thw world have had this shit happen to them , and if this has thought me anything, its this . Complaining gets you nowhere. The only staff on duty that night were all about 10 years younger than me ( I'm 27 ) and I felt that going to them was a waste of time . How foolish I was to think writting in a letter to the HEADS would come to anything .

  • April 20, 2007, 4:26 a.m. CST

    Had a similar problem during The Two Towers...

    by Wungolioth

    I had a mom in back of me trying to give the commentary to her idiot children, I was getting pissed and turned around to tell them to shut the Hell up. The worst part is that the people I went with actually felt I had ruined the movie-going experience by saying something to them! Not to go off-topic, but there's a completely different problem in theaters these days that also deserves a mention. It doesn't seem as if there's anyone monitoring the movie reels, because anytime there's a problem with the picture or the audio, I always seem to have to be the one to leave the theater and tell someone about it. I understand with multiplexes they have more screens to monitor, but if I got a chance to look inside, I wouldn't be surprised to find some kid sitting there playing a Gameboy and not paying attention to his job.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:27 a.m. CST

    email me

    by Quint

    Can any of you guys who have stories of theaters enforcing their policies and benefiting (or not) from it email me with specifics? It'll be stories like those that stands any chance of getting the big wigs to pay attention. My email's at the end of the review. Thanks.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:31 a.m. CST

    Rude People

    by weati

    I hate the people who put there legs over the seat in front of them. It shows that they don't have any respect for anyone. People that talk and do rude stuff should be thrown out or beat to death one. I used to go see a movie almost every weekend and now I'll go less than once a month. People just suck too bad. When I saw crappy Stealth at the theater, 2 guys a couple of rows back kept talking and making sound effects. I turn and ask them to be quiet. I then hear "Who the fuck is he talking to?" I turn around in my seat make eye contact and say "I'm talking to you motherfucker" They shut up the rest of the movie, but it ruined my day. When I saw SW ROTS opening night, I'm in my seat probably 30 or so minutes early. A little before the movie starts some guy that stinks like hell and his 2 friends sit directly next to me. They could have left a seat between us, it wasn't a sell out. How stupid could somebody be? So I've got to get up and find a new seat a few minutes before showtime. I take my 8 year old to movies sometimes and she doesn't say a word. You've got to teach your kids how to act at the movies. If they talk you've got to tell them to shut up and if they don't smack them in the back of the head, that's how you teach your children theater etiquette. I've had movies ruined by Little Junior SOB and it kills me that the parents don't care they are ruining the movie for everyone else. Now I'm usually just waiting for the Blu-ray of the new releases. I'd rather watch a HD copy of the movie at home than deal with the stupid public. But it shouldn't have to be that way.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:39 a.m. CST

    Wow, I am a lucky sonofagun

    by Oozer3993

    I've been to a decent amount of movies considering my age (I'm a college student) but I've never had a bad theater experience. And I almost always go opening weekend and during the afternoon or night. I've never had anyone talking on a cellphone, never had anyone having a conversation, never seen children at an R rated movie, never had any of the problems most people here have complained about. I don't doubt for a second that they exist, I think I'm just lucky. Maybe it's the area (Westside of Cleveland), maybe it's my favorite theater (Cinemark at Vallew View [Digital projector & 3D FTW!]). Of course now that I said this, the next movie that I go to will probably be ruined by every aggravating person you guys have mentioned.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:07 a.m. CST

    Freakin' BlackBerry Glow

    by YND

    Absolutely my top pet peeve about going to see a movie these days -- somebody's blackberry or cell phone light hitting me like a freakin' flashlight when I'm trying to watch a movie. Yeah, it's a little better than actually holding a conversation... but not MUCH better. Damned text messaging beeyatches...

  • April 20, 2007, 5:07 a.m. CST

    Very good posts by all.

    by mrfan

    I agree with all of them. I think I have been in many of the same situations. Some I handled good. Others I wish I could change for the better. One of the craziest stories I have heard was from a buddy who worked for a movie place. Apparently one of the customers has mental issues. During a movie she stood up. Took off all her clothes. Sat down and kept on watching the movie. The manager tried to get to put her clothes back on with no luck. The police were called. Apparently she didn't take her medication. Overall, I have had a great time at the theater. It's sad that people can show no respect to others when going.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:10 a.m. CST

    And also...

    by mrfan

    I try to hit either the late or early shows. That way many people are still at work, at school, or too tired to go to the movies that late. I love going to the theater and sure as hell not going to give it up without a fight.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:45 a.m. CST

    Reading these is both making me laugh and annoying

    by bongo123

    the complete fuck outa me at the same time, it would appear to be a problem shared by both the UK, Ireland, states and canada. What about our Euro or Asian readers, whats the cinema exp like in your countries? I know a mate who lived in South Korea or Japan cant rememaber for a year and he said everyone sat in silence from start to finish then quietly exited and that was for every movie he seen unlike here in the UK where watching a movie can infect you with the Rage Virus and i swear to fuck if anyone talks, burps or coughs when i see 28 weeks later i will go all rage virus on them... again if there smaller than me.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:56 a.m. CST

    Right On Quint!

    by SuperMikeChu

    I read the article title and saw that it was gonna be a rant and I was like, "oh here we go" and then it turns out to be the age old problem and you just hit the nail on the head with that. This is why I like watching movies in with sold out crowds because when every single seat is taken, the audience somehow collectively polices itself and people are less likely to start up cell phone conversations. This one Christmas season, me and a bunch of friends ended up having this happen to us in three movies in a row. I told them to be quiet in once instance and the lady said to her friends "He must be from North Carolina!" trying to include me in some stupid inside joke of theirs. Fucking assholes. Not only should every theater chain consider this a problem and start enforcing this policy, every decent moviegoer needs to support that one brave sole that tells the stupid motherfucker behind him to shut the fuck up. You've seen it happen. The next time I see it, I'm gonna scream out yeah. The next time I have to tell someone to shut up, I hope I'll have the theater's support.

  • April 20, 2007, 6 a.m. CST

    Toby Wan

    by MaxTheSilent

    I have a similar technique, although I work in a mental hospital rather than a movie theatre. At meal times if anyone plays up they get a warning. If they keep it up they get asked to leave the dining room. If they carry on I close the screen and nobody gets anything. Amazing how effective it is, as you yourself described..

  • April 20, 2007, 6:06 a.m. CST

    BEST. RANT. EVER

    by SpencerTrilby

    Thanks Quint. I was pissed at you because you forgot to name your source for the last (lost?) LFoDH trailer TB, but now we're friends again. Pals. Almost blood brothers. I couldn't have said it better myself: people really need to stop acting like fucking primates while watching a movie. I noticed an increasing in these behaviors since cellphones got popular (say, 10 years ago) and it contaminated the whole audience, not to mention the annoying kids whose parents should be sent to hell. As for your question Bongo, I assure you in all the european countries I visited (France, Spain, Italy) it's almost the same. Maybe less loud than in UK, but I hadn't a dB meter on me, so I can't say fore sure. On the other hand, my A-Hole-O-meter reached an all time high.

  • April 20, 2007, 6:10 a.m. CST

    Thanks Quint!

    by Kloipy

    Regardless of what movie I go to see, I like to put myself into the film. To give myself the full experience of it. I live in a town full of rednecks and Abercrombie jocks, and they show up at the movies (sometimes i luck out when I see an indi flick, because they are watching the new Martin Lawrence comedy), however most of the time, i'm stuck with them in my theater. They ruin everything. Not once in all the movies I've gone to see, have I ever seen anyone ejected from a film. And it drives me insane. For example, i went to see Grindhouse last week. These two girls were talking the whole time. Then they got calls on their cellphones, and took them to have a 20min phone conversation. I told them to shut up a couple of times, nothing was done. Management didn't even walk into the theater. It's unacceptable to be forced to ruin a movie you've looked forward to by having people talk through it. If you want to talk, go out to dinner, or better yet, stay the fuck home so i never have to see your dumb face.

  • April 20, 2007, 6:51 a.m. CST

    wimmin

    by ledsyrus

    I can't help noticing that the majority of the culprits, in both my own experiences and apparently in the stories up here as well, are female. I find that quite shocking. Most antisocial behaviour is by males, but apparently not in this environment.

  • April 20, 2007, 6:51 a.m. CST

    I sat through Saving Private Ryan...

    by Boba Fat

    with some guy, behind me, translating it into Italian for his friend.

  • April 20, 2007, 7:01 a.m. CST

    The Playhouse Cinema, Louth, Lincolnshire, UK

    by palimpsest

    ...still has an intermission in the middle of everything they show, so they can shamelessly pimp their overpriced ice-creams and lukewarm drinks...

  • April 20, 2007, 7:03 a.m. CST

    We should duct-taped or mouth-gaged...

    by DarthBakpao

    ...those who talk in theater during movie. Noisy kids should be strapped to their seats.

  • April 20, 2007, 7:13 a.m. CST

    and another thing

    by Kloipy

    Since the have installed the seats that lay back, i always end up sitting in front of the asshole, who feels the need to grab the back of my seat every 15 seconds and shake it. this douche wouldn't stop, everytime he stood up, or shifted in his seat, he made it a point to knock my seat. And his friends would laugh and laugh. I'm usually very polite in the theater and i even slouch down just so my head doesn't bother those behind me. After about 2 hours of this shit, i just started rocking back and forth for like 5 mins. People have no fucking respect anymore

  • April 20, 2007, 7:13 a.m. CST

    To the bitch in Zanesville Ohio...

    by solartaco3

    Yes I shhhh'ed you during Apocalypto, and yes you look soooo fucking hurt. Shut the fuck up.

  • April 20, 2007, 7:27 a.m. CST

    kids in the theater

    by Kloipy

    If you have a kid under 14, please, for the love of all that is holy, don't take them to R rated films. I can't tell you how many kids I've seen in R movies. And hard R too. What the hell are these parents thinking. And you can't blame the kids for getting upset. These movies aren't made for them. I've been at theaters where kids have run up and down the aisle. The whole movie. when i went to see Pan's Labyrinth, this guy took his two little kids, i stopped him before they went in and told them that this movie was for adults. But he didn't listen. He stayed until a guy gets his face smashed in and then they ran out, with the children screaming. Use some judgement in this people

  • April 20, 2007, 7:28 a.m. CST

    Tell it like it is Quint!

    by brokentusk

    Preach that shit! This article has got me so worked up, I feel like I should print it out and mail it to the managers of every theatre here in South Africa. I'll take it one step further though and say that people who talk in movies should be fed to the mighty Saarlac.

  • April 20, 2007, 7:44 a.m. CST

    Amen brother!

    by dirkmanly

    I love the movie experience as well but I am at the point where I can't bring myself to go to the new huge chain theater near me. It is almost inevitabe there will be some group talking behind me or some fat man talking and gasping for his last breath behind me.... I hope theaters change their policies soon!!

  • April 20, 2007, 7:50 a.m. CST

    Bravo Quint!!

    by Cysquatch

    Asshole crowds are precisely the reason why I go to see movies in off hours. I either go on a weeknight when most kids dont attend because of school or the first show on Sunday morning when most people are either still sleeping or in church. I know some people will say that part of the moviegoing experience is seeing a film with a crowd but I thoroughly enjoyed seeing Grindhouse in a completely empty theater. No jerkoffs talking over dialogue, chomping on their take in food, answering their cell phone, etc. Plus if the theater is empty you can burn a wheel!!!

  • April 20, 2007, 7:51 a.m. CST

    I wholeheartedly agree...

    by trueartist

    But I have to share at least one good experience. I had bought advanced tickets to the first Harry Potter movie for the first showing on opening day (11:55AM). My wife and I got to the theater and no one was there, and the first showing was listed as 3:15PM. We waited around (along with other people who wanted to buy advance tickets) until a manager showed around 11:30PM. She told the small cluster of people that thebox office wouldn't be opened until 2:30PM but did anyone have tickets now? I said that my wife and I did. She explained that the tickets were sold for a showing that wasn't scheduled...but she came in to honor the tickets and let me and my wife in. She told us the theater to go to and ran Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone for just us. This was a big chain theater (Kerasotes)and she didn't have to do that.

  • April 20, 2007, 7:53 a.m. CST

    Pick the right cinema.

    by dregmobile

    Pick the right time and day. Move away from the talkers - usually you can tell if they are the type to respond to your criticisms or not. Or just leave the theatre and decide to catch the film a second day. <br> <br> I could write a book about effective cinema-going. Though I wish I was a lot more physically intimidating, that would easily be enough for an extra chapter. In HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE it was ten year old rich kid girls with cell phones and total disregard for others. No matter how many times I told them to shut up, they wouldn't listen. And I didn't want to leave the theatre to complain during the movie because I didn't want to miss any of the movie (in hindsight, I should have, though). In ROCKY BALBOA I had to just move away from the talkers. Problem solved. In TALLADEGA NIGHTS my girl and I just had to get up and leave during the trailers when a team of fifteen boys planted themselves around us and started throwing popcorn. Now, the management there was GOOD, but even so, there was no way they were going to put those schoolkids in check. In THE DEPARTED, a gang of teens mistook the movie for a broad comedy and ruined any and all tension from the film. In BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN I had to tell some aged cowboy to remove his fucking cowboy hat - after the movie started. His wife tore it from his head, but he was all pissed off about it. <br> <br> I haven't figured out a way to deal with the following though - the bright cellphone screens, the noisy tapping of keys or anything loud, the continual rattle of ice in empty buckets of soda. You go to a Friday/Saturday evening session of FANTASTIC 4 and you are just asking for it. It takes a bit of 'film-going' research. Get to know the cinemas, the time and day, and you'll eventually figure out when is best to go and when not. Sometimes you just don't give a shit and go whenever you want, and sometimes you get lucky. For me, my success rate is about 55% good times - but that is still a sad state. And this is in Sydney Australia where I've never encountered people that talk to the screen. <br> <br> Another chapter would involve the issues with the SOUND SYSTEMS, the flickering dying PROJECTOR BULB or just being OUT OF FOCUS. The only time I could actually watch THE DEPARTED and enjoy it after seeing it twice at the cinemas was on DVD. DVD is the way to go for the film buff. <br> <br> I wish there was something we could all do, but these hillbillies, these douchebags, these fucking rich kids or whatever - they're the demographic that bring the money to the studios. So I doubt anyone will do anything other than give you some free tix.

  • April 20, 2007, 7:54 a.m. CST

    No choice = horrible experience..

    by Ironmuskrat

    People talking and being rude is nothing really new, but it seems to have gotten much worse now that the days of the mom and pop ran theater are over. A few years ago the local mega-mall opened a new 30 theater multiplex in our area and basically put all of the smaller local theaters out of business. Now my only real choice to see a movie is attached to the largest gathering place for teenage assholes and slack jawed mall rats in the area. Teen behavior got so bad at the mall it banned kids under 18 from being in the mall after 6pm without a parent. Strangely, even though the theater is attached the mall the policy does not apply to it. I would show my displeasure with Star theaters by taking my business elsewhere, but its a 30 minute drive to the next movie theater, also a Star.. oh well. At this point if I really want to see a movie and enjoy it without people yapping and carrying on I have to either see the first showing in the morning or wait until its almost finished its run and see it after everyone else is done seeing it. I miss my old one screen movie theater in my town that was run by an older couple, if someone was being rude or talking the old guy would come down from the projection booth and drag people out of there by their collar.

  • April 20, 2007, 7:56 a.m. CST

    Mobile phones (cell phones to you americans!)

    by moners

    As far as I know, theres a few cinemas in Dublin, Ireland (Savoy anyway) now that have service blocking devices so mobiles cannot get a signal at all. fucking genius!

  • April 20, 2007, 7:58 a.m. CST

    My worst was H20 and the Faculty..

    by rodvegas78

    I usually go to movies alone because I can't stand being bothered.. not even by my wife.. who, is banned from all Spider-Man movies ever since she turned to me during Spider-Man 1 and whispered, "I'm bored.".. but during H20, some dude had a laser pointer and was pointing it all over the screen, he was sitting in the very back of theater seating, so if someone turned around, he'd stop and hide it.. theater management came in and did nothing.. believe me, I still can't watch it without thinking about that red dot on Michael Myer's junk... and I went and saw The Faculty on Christmas day when it came out.. and a fight broke out.. I agree that you have to go to the "right" theater.. but the "right" theaters for me are an hour away.. Going to the movies sucks anymore.. why do you think they make most horror movies PG-13 now?? If there were more draft houses, that have to be a controlled environment sometimes due to liquor licenses.. movies like Grindhouse would probably make more $$$..

  • April 20, 2007, 8 a.m. CST

    Great rant, Quint, but...

    by CatVutt

    You haven't seen Kontroll?!?! Stop what you're doing and go do that. Now.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:06 a.m. CST

    I completely agree Quint

    by Fecal Debris

    If a movie company / distributor is gonna arrange a free screening, you'd think they'd WANT for you to like the movie and enjoy your time there, so that you give good word of mouth to your family and friends. You are right that they shouldn't have allowed kids or babies in there, and not laxed their policies just because it's "free." Free means, you don't pay admission, not "free" to be rude, or an asshole. I hate people who talk in movies and concerts. Especially concerts. Jesus Christ, nowadays you pay 80 bucks to see a hot concert, and you go there and half the fucking people are yacking on cell phones or getting up and down to get beer and piss, or eating Digiornos, anything but listening to the music. If I go to shows at all now, I go alone, because other people suck. Theatres aren't much better. A little, but not much. Teenagers are the worst.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:07 a.m. CST

    Quint you are gonna need a big gun

    by jhb2000

    In my area if a manager or usher tried to throw someone out he'd probably get his ass kicked...it'd be a huge scene, cops would have to be called....movie ruined. It's not In my town if a manager or usher tried to throw someone out he'd probably get his ass kicked...it'd be a huge scene, cops would have to be called....movie ruined. It's not like I live in a bad area either...it's just the way people are today. Total sense of entitlement...the whole "you're not going to tell me what to do!" culture we live in. Multiple people got killed around the corner from me for a PS3...you think they won't knife you for "disrespecting" them in front of their friends...it'd be one thing if it was like it used to be and you could just exchange punches, but all these thugs have guns and knifes and crap...Fuck that I'm staying home! Besides you could just buy the damn DVD for the price of going to the theatre now a days...

  • April 20, 2007, 8:09 a.m. CST

    Theater owners

    by rodvegas78

    Most theaters don't care about the consumer.. because they have a product that's high in demand.. like Spider-Man 3.. tons of people are gonna go see a movie and deal with crap because they have to.. They sell overpriced food, popcorn that's mostly stale.. Drinks too big for the cup holders.. and seats that are too small for my fat butt.. yes.. I'm big.. fat.. portly, whatever.. the seats suck.. but I put up with being uncomfortable because I want to see Spider-Man 3.. and that includes the stupid drunkards.. best time to go to the theater.. 10 a.m. on Saturdays..

  • April 20, 2007, 8:16 a.m. CST

    Here's the plan...

    by ErnieAnderson

    Print this rant out. Give it to your local theater managers. The ones that respond...get your business. The ones that don't...don't.<p> It's the only way the problem is going to be solved. Let people know you give a shit about the problem, and vote with your dollars if they don't fix it.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:17 a.m. CST

    Roger Ebert had a great suggestion on cell phones

    by Jugdish

    He said theater owners should have the same devices placed in the theaters that hospitals do where the cell phones cannot get a signal. Lobby should be OK for Cell Phones..Brilliant idea Roger.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:17 a.m. CST

    On the other hand, some older folks have NO tolerance

    by microwavable?

    I've been to some movies aimed at older, post-middle aged crowds, and they just can't handle ANY noise in the theater. You should expect some ambient noise. The sound of popcorn crunching in mouths. The sound of swishing ice. A mild cough or cold. I went to a movie with my girlfriend a month ago and she bought a box of Nerds from the snack counter. About once every 10 minutes, she would tilt the big box and scoop out a handfull of candy. Yeah, it made a little noise for a couple of seconds. But every time, the old guy three seats over would dart our way and audibly growl! We weren't talking or making any other noise, but he sure hated us. I think the argument works both ways, talking is rude. But complaining about any other sounds is just weak. Learn to focus.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:23 a.m. CST

    Agreed microwavable, one time at a movie...

    by rbatty024

    my sister got yelled at...for chewing popcorn...with her mouth closed! After the movie she confronted the guy and he apologized, so I guess it worked out well but she was pissed during whatever shitty CGI cartoon she was taking my niece to see.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:28 a.m. CST

    Install a sniper in the roof of the theater.

    by Zarles

    Night vision, high-powered rifle, the works. Someone gets out of line, BAP! Shit, you could sell tickets to that. A movie within a movie!<p>I've had TONS of experiences like this, and because I have ZERO tolerance for any of it, I've yelled and cursed at many, many people over the years. One of the more ridiculous occurrences was when this enormously tall man sat down right in front of us with his wife. The guy was at least 6'6", and what's more, he was DEAF. DEAF! Why the hell would you go to a movie in a theater if you're deaf!? There weren't any subtitles on this thing, either. Oh, hell no. How did he understand what was going on in the movie? Well, every five minutes or so, his wife would lean over to him and tell him what was going on. She kinda sorta tried to keep her voice down, but more often than not, he'd ask her to speak up. What's worse is that if he couldn't hear her, he'd make this HUGE grunting sound - "HUH?!"<p>Dear lord, it was awful. I've never wanted to hit a deaf person before, but I got pretty damn close that night.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:32 a.m. CST

    Oh...

    by Zarles

    ...and then there were the two incredibly obnoxious gay dudes that sat near me in 'Dancer In The Dark'. They'd brought in two huge bottles of vodka, and proceeded to spend the movie drinking them and ripping on all the character's wardrobes. Sounds stereotypical, but it's true.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:32 a.m. CST

    The sound of a fart...and everyone looks at each other.

    by JDanielP

    That was just recently, at GRINDHOUSE. But hey, you're going to pull in all types of characters with a movie like that.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:33 a.m. CST

    What the Hell Happened to Ushers Anyway?

    by cowboyone

    Usher those rude mofo's right out of the damn theater! As far as I'm concerned you forfeit your ticket price if you're an ignorant, rude S.O.B.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:34 a.m. CST

    Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

    by Kloipy

    Yeah, i know, not a great movie. But my bias towards the film is based on the tweens sitting directly behind my wife and I during the movie. They were so fucking loud the entire time. And they also had laser pointers. Told them to shut up and knock it off a couple of times, went to the management, nothing was done (yet again). I understand that in the theater, you will get a mixed bag of people. Most of whom you would normally never talk to in a million years. But the thing is, it's not cheap to go to a movie. So you spend your money, hoping to laugh, cry, scream, or get moved by whatever it is that you are watching. But then a cell phone goes off, or someone is snickering and laughing with their friends about how they can throw gummi bears at the screen. One time someone was shooting spitballs at the screen, which stuck all over it for the entire movie. Why is it that people have to be assholes everywhere they go? No one can just be polite anymore. They think it's funny to ruin everyone's time. Most of the time, if you say something, that just eggs them on. And if you live in a less populated area, you have less choice of where to go. The thing is most of these people could care less about the art of film. They are there because it gives them an excuse to be obnoxious. And it won't end.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:38 a.m. CST

    funny sidenote about Grindhouse

    by Kloipy

    after planet terror ended, a bunch of people got up and left before the previews and never came back.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:44 a.m. CST

    I'm a manager at in a chain theater....

    by dlhoskins03

    and I can understand why you are upset. However, I have one problem with your complaint. YOU DIDN'T GO BACK AND TELL THE MANAGER AGAIN! This is my greatest problem with customers. People are going to talk during a movie, it sucks but people are assholes. If you had come to me during a movie with that same complaint I would have went in and gave the people a warning that we had gotten a complaint. Of course they are going to say that they didn't do anything. Now, it is my theater's policy to give them one warning and then kick them out, as I'm sure that is the policy of the theater you went to. What you should have done differently is you should have gone back and told them that they were still talking not hoped that they would slip up and get caught. I hate when customers come out after a movie is over and complain about people being loud or causing trouble and then get mad when I don't do anything. WHAT THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO AFTER THE DAMN MOVIE IS OVER??! Sorry, just thought I would give you some info on what you should try to do if this happens again.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:47 a.m. CST

    Signed up just to say - I AGREE w/ QUIT 110%

    by arsonistradio

    Signed up just to say - I AGREE w/ QUIT 110%!! What keeps me out of theaters? No the high ticket prices, not the annoying commercials, not the fact that I can download most movies with ease - it's annoying assholes! ENFORCE YOUR SHIT THEATER OWNERS!

  • April 20, 2007, 8:48 a.m. CST

    Whoops, I meant "Quint"

    by arsonistradio

    d'oh

  • April 20, 2007, 8:51 a.m. CST

    This is why "Home Theater," sales are through the roof

    by Pound Sand

    Most people don't want to pay to be pissed on. Sticky floors, bad sound, toenail clippings on the seat cushion, talking, cell phones, bad prints, expensive ticket prices, parking, adverts before the movie, and then you end up with a shit sandwich like Vacancy? In the words of the theater patron, "AW, HELL NO." I'll be at home, with my 7.1, 52 DLP HD set with my Netflix set-up. So I miss a few first run turd burgers? There are more great films I've never seen in my cue at Netflix than in 5 years of first run. And when the movie going experience has deteriorated to the level where people are yelling "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" at one another in the dark, well, count me out.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:51 a.m. CST

    Amen

    by Jotham

    I wouln't even call that a rant, it's the truth. No one seems to care about the thearter experience anymore. Everyone has entitlement issues because, "They paid for this movie too". Well, guess what, so did I! And my ticket price didn't include a conversation about your best friends menstral cycle! Cowboyone mentoned ushers. He's right, ushers would make a big difference, but every movie thearter worker I've seen in the last 5 years have been 14-18 year old girls who are too scared to ask the assholes to leave. This may be too much, but every thearter owner should pull in all his employes and show them the "Be Nice" speech from Roadhouse. Not a movie you would think of, but for those who remember the scene it fits perfectly, "If somebody gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice. Ask him to walk. Be nice. If he won't walk, walk him. But be nice. If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you, and you'll both be nice. I want you to remember that it's a job. It's nothing personal. I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice." The concept is the same.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:52 a.m. CST

    dlhoskins03

    by moners

    what you should maybe try to do when the movie is over is note the times and kind of movies where trouble is being caused. At least if you have the information, future screenings may not be interrupted if monitored correctly. If no-one says anything it is just allowing the problem to continue. That said, I do however realise that it is difficult to police this in the context of a dark, filled room.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:54 a.m. CST

    dlhoskins03- You expect us to get up TWICE to complain?

    by JDanielP

    We're there to watch the movie, not babysit the place. If I want to babysit, I'll stay home with my young son.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:54 a.m. CST

    AMEN!

    by ScoreKeeper

    Quint, you can not write about or talk about this enough. This is a MAJOR threat to the cinematic experience and it's going to take those who love it to preserve it. It's refreshing to hear this rant and honestly I'm not satisfied. Let's hear more from everybody!

  • April 20, 2007, 8:59 a.m. CST

    Re: dlhoskins03

    by ScoreKeeper

    You've GOT to be kidding me? I refuse to even get up to go to the bathroom at the risk of placing a large hole in my cinematic experience and you want patrons to have to get up not just once but TWICE??? When do we get to watch the movie we paid to see? Remember the Alamo! Put up a piece of paper on your table alerting management of the disruption and the problem is taken care of swiftly and effeciently. And you didn't even have to miss the movie to do it. Quint is right. It's one of the primary reasons why the Alamo is such a great theater. DON'T TALK OR WE'LL TAKE YOUR ASS OUT! Best advice theater management can give their patrons.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:59 a.m. CST

    Oozer 3993

    by Fecal Debris

    I'm on Cleveland's Westside, too. Valley View is a good theater. But sooner or later, even in our neck of the woods, you're gonna run into some assholes who won't shut up or behave. My personal worst experience was an evening showing of "Deep Blue Sea" to which a young hispanic couple brought their rugrats (it was a later evening show) and they yakked and yakked. In Espanol. So even the Cleveland area has its share of theater assholes, trust me. You'll meet some soon.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:01 a.m. CST

    I could not agree more...

    by SirWadie

    If you talk during the movie, I will kill you.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:01 a.m. CST

    I was at "300"...

    by WickedMonster

    in NYC when there was this guy who kept on saying "Thank you", "Yes" everytime Lena got nailed...Freakin pervert!! <p> I vowed never to watch an R rated movie in the theaters again </p>

  • April 20, 2007, 9:03 a.m. CST

    THANK YOU!

    by Kloipy

    We aren't the problem. We aren't the ones ruining the movies. Why should we have to be taken away from the experience because some jerk won't shut up. You are the manager, do something. You wouldn't stand for it if you went somewhere, and you had to go out of your way, while trying to do something you love, to complain and have nothing done

  • April 20, 2007, 9:03 a.m. CST

    I've been looking to bring the cinema home, myself.

    by JDanielP

    Anyone here whom HASN'T looked at those nice, big, wide-screen televisions and gave serious thought??? That is, if you haven't already gotten one??? Not to mention surround sound. Awwwweee... no rude people. Just me and the family, enjoying our cheap popcorn and soda. Heaven.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:03 a.m. CST

    People lose their minds in movie theaters.

    by Zarles

    In all senses of the phrase, actually. They eat like absolute gluttons, talk like maniacs, behave like they've never been out of the house in their lives, and THEN have the audacity to get PISSED at people if they even DARE to call them out on any of it.<p>Why is that? What is it about the communal experience of going to the movies that makes people act this way? This isn't improv theater, you dumbfucks. It's a movie. Sit down, eat your depth charge-sized Diet Pepsi, and SHUT THE FUCK UP.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:06 a.m. CST

    Cinemark is pretty bad when it comes to this.

    by godzillasushi

    I had an experience where, while watching The Matrix Reloaded, a guy stood up and literally had a 5 minute conversation with someone next to him...WHILE STANDING UP. When I saw Jackass 2, a kid in the back kept saying "Oh this part is funny. Watch behind the guy, that's where he gets hit." etc. Oh and the lovely crying baby during Episode 2 that would NOT stop crying. Of course, I can't go tell a manager because I look like a douch complaining about a woman and her child. Just countless times this has happened. I hope somebody out there read that article and learned a thing or two.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:06 a.m. CST

    A perfect Storm

    by Kloipy

    when I saw this in the theater, there were a couple of old ladies in front of me. They talked the whole time. But it gets better. During the previews, one of them was Vertical Limit (the climbing movie), this lady started screaming when someone in the preview slipped on the ice. She also screamed when waves came on the screen. There was nothing BUT fucking waves in that movie!

  • April 20, 2007, 9:09 a.m. CST

    Bobo_Vision- Love the "push button" idea, for managment

    by JDanielP

    That is one of the best ideas I've ever heard.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:09 a.m. CST

    Quint is right on the money

    by indyjonez100

    I agree with this, who takes a baby to see Vacancy?!? Common sense here people. The theater needs to enforce the rules and not let in parents who have babies into an R rated movie. If they did the whole movie going experience would be enjoyable again. And another thing I hate at movies, people who continuously kick the chair throughout the movie. It's annoying.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:09 a.m. CST

    BRAVO!

    by Mooly

    You hit the nail on the head my friend. I used to go to moves every weekend, whether there was something I absolutely HAD to see or not. My idea of fun used to be paying the extra money to see a movie on a huge screen with incredible sound with a group of people. Now I can't even remember the last movie I went too. ANd it's all because I have shared that same experience. While I have found it to be much more common that young "adults" are the people that act like idiots and won't shut up you are correct that all age groups are guilty of this. My second pet peeve is the amount of times the back of my seat gets kicked during a movie. I don't mind once or twice by accident, but some people think that having that extra leg room in modern theatres gives them right to just throw their f***ing feet anywhere without any care who they may be annoying. It's funny how I never once had the kicking problem in older, cramped, non-stadium seated theatres. I spent more than my fair share of money and time in the theatre when all my friends wondered why I didn't just rent or steal movies off the net. It's has gotten to the point that I can't argue with them anymore. Seeing a movie in a theatre is still an experience...a mostly bad one. If I'm paying $20+ for a movie (myself and the mrs.) then I had better be able to watch the damn movie. The problem IS, as you mention, lack of enforcement. I remember when I was young and going to movies with my parents. It used to be that theatres had ushers (some guy with a light) whose only job was to walk through the theatre while the movie played to check things out. NOw there is nobody. Or they just peek their head in the door to make sure there isn't a riot breaking out and leave. Hell, I can't even get popcorn and a drink anymore unless I'm there a half hour before the movie due to improper staffing levels. But hey, at least there is a guarantee that the bathrooms will be spotless. That's what really matters. Now i only go to the theatre if it is a movie I feel I absolutely MUST see right away. I'm saving money right now for a sweet home theatre and once I get that I will probably never go to a theatre again. As mentioned, it is NOT the $20 that bothers me, or even the overpriced snacks. It's paying all that money only to have a terrible time due to people who won't shut up and a theatre that won't do anything to get rid of them.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:10 a.m. CST

    the cinema buzz

    by moners

    I do still love the cinema experience though, incidents have been isolated occurances generallly (although we all have one at least). Ive been to the cinema twice this week and have had great experiences. I love the crap food and overpriced drinks. I love the trailers and walking out afterwards when everyone is talking about the movie. If we all bought home theatre equipment and sat in alone, cinema would lose its appeal. The cinema experience should be celebrated and upheld by the cinemas themselves, not just by the fans.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:11 a.m. CST

    the best loud theater was for Phantom Menace

    by Kloipy

    It started with all the nerds dressed up in their costumes. As the movie started they yelled, and chanted, and waved their glowing lightsabers. This went on for about an hour. Then slowly the cheers got quieter, until finally, complete silence. It was hillarious to see the joy just die

  • April 20, 2007, 9:13 a.m. CST

    Agreed Mooly

    by indyjonez100

    My second pet peeve is the amount of times the back of my seat gets kicked during a movie. I don't mind once or twice by accident, but some people think that having that extra leg room in modern theaters gives them right to just throw their f***ing feet anywhere without any care who they may be annoying. It's funny how I never once had the kicking problem in older, cramped, non-stadium seated theaters. You may be onto something there Mooly with the Stadium seating increasing the level of kicks to the back of the chair. Probably because the feet are now at the same height as the chair in front of them.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:15 a.m. CST

    BAN FOOD IN CINEMAS

    by sayanything9

    Food is the worst part about going to the cinema.People rustling/grazing next to you like a bunch of f'n pigs. Popcorn.....don't even get me started why sell one of the noisiest forms of sustenance known to man at the cinema.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:18 a.m. CST

    Actually it just needs to

    by sayanything9

    Actually it just needs to be banned in any film that is trying to create a certain kind atmosphere. Kids films/comedys/The Island are fine

  • April 20, 2007, 9:20 a.m. CST

    *Add a number key-pad to punch in the seat number!

    by JDanielP

    Give theatre audiences some power. If someone in a specific number of seat gets multiple complaints, Management will know something is up. Too bad you can't police groups of kids who would, for the "fun" of it, collectively choose a seat number. But how nice would it be if Management could LISTEN IN (via hidden microphone) on the specific seat? Well, I guess we aren't living inside the classic Jetsons cartoon, dang it.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:20 a.m. CST

    To the theatre manager...

    by Mooly

    Most people are capable of tolerating some small chit chat. If someone has felt the need to leave the movie and complain then the problem has already gone on to long and started ruining the experience. If people come out and complain, then chances are they've already tried asking the people to stop talking, possibly even yelled at them, and the behaviour has not only persisted but persisted without the slightest consideration of others. If people have felt the need to complain to the manager, then it has already gone way beyond the point where one more "warning" is going to work. Their first warning is an angry crowd turning on them. If somebody gets the manager it's because they're fed up and expect somethign to be done. That means toss them out. It's not like these people talked once by accident and then somebody else ran out to get the manager instantly. People are already pissed and feel their experience is being ruined. THey have already formed a negative opinion about that night.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:21 a.m. CST

    Yea I hate food when people cant eat properly

    by godzillasushi

    No manners whatsoever. They don't even realize how loud they are and that blows my mind.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:22 a.m. CST

    Oh, and TALKING DURING THE MOVIE = LIPS ON OPTIMUS

    by Pound Sand

  • April 20, 2007, 9:23 a.m. CST

    That's why, like KISS, I Love it Loud

    by Behemoth

    Granted it's a Band-Aid, but this is why I love to hear speaker-rattling sound at movies, because I know it's going to discourage the a-holes. I'm not talking about ear-bleeding, uncomfortable noise - just something loud enough to discourage whispery chit-chat. <p>I've had a few incidents in my time. I was watching a movie in a sparsely populated theatre one night (can't remember the film, sadly), and really enjoying the theatre-going experience. A couple came in OVER 45 MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE, sat at the back, and just started talking. I eventually just yelled, "COME ON!" They shut up. The fact that I was alone and in a trench coat might've helped (wife didn't want to go). <p>Talking is the worst, followed closely by the IMBECILES who stream in late, talking loudly about where they're going to sit, dopes who sit RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU in a theatre which is full of seats, the kicking of the chair, AND scumbag parents taking their infants to R-rated movies. Some of the things I've seen tiny kids in attendance for have absolutely shocked me. <p>The world is an a-hole contagion. <p>Anyway, great rant, and I hope it's heeded by more theatres.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:23 a.m. CST

    Concession Stands need to sell STFU juice

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Hey, loud laughter, oohs, ahs, groans (hey, get your mind out of the gutter) are fine at the appropriate time. And if you want to talk during those stupid commercials be my guest. When my movie starts put a lid on it. I'll address the individual, and if they don't zip it I'll go to the manager. Fortunately my theater is pretty good about this. The sad fact is they hire off-duty uniformed town cops to enforce this. What a sad reflection on society that people need the police to tell them it's in appropriate to talk during the movie. It reminds me of the Eddie Murphy black/white theater monologue.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:33 a.m. CST

    I went to see the first "Scary Movie"

    by Kloipy

    in the theater. In front of me, was a woman and her maybe 10 year old boy. when other people would laugh, he would start laughing after them. This happened after the dude blows his load and sticks the girl to the ceiling. He turned to his mom and said "This is funny, right?"

  • April 20, 2007, 9:37 a.m. CST

    Parents.....

    by sayanything9

    Taking v.young kids to see films where they are gonna have to ask questions.I DO NOT want to have to hear parents trying to explain to their kids that Kevin Spacey and Gene Hackman are different people or that it's not their fault that his wife left him.It's Craig from the corner shop,his out of control drinking and the one mistake he made at the annual sales conference with Tina from accounting.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:37 a.m. CST

    Kids at rated R movies

    by The Central Scrutinizer

    I rarely go to the Theater anymore. I still love movies and usually see them using Netflix. The main reasons I stopped going to the Theater are pretty much the things Quint was talking about: 1. Talking during the show 2. Kids at rated R movies 3. Cellphone conversations 4. Misc. person sitting behind me that likes to kick the back of my seat. I like watching movies on the big screen, but I'm sick of putting up with thoughtless jerk-offs ruining the experience.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:38 a.m. CST

    Quint is right, and it isnt getting better

    by Jonah Echo

    Situations like the one Quint mentions, that not only interrupt the movie but tend to lead to those annoying non-confrontations that really dont warrant more than hissed, or shouted pleas to shut up really ruin a movie experience. My wife and I really enjoy movies and making it part of an evening out, but Ive gotten very jaded in regards to the big multiplexes. We are in the process of installing a home theater with screen in the rec room mostly so we dont have to deal with most of this. Still, when the big movies come out, like Spiderman 3 or what not, about the only place we can see them around here are the multiplexes. We have found those early matinee times are actually the most peaceful, and least distracting(it would seem like this would be an opportune time to see alot of out of control kids, but there are very few there). However, sometimes we enjoy the experience of seeing a movie with a big audience, but we would like to see it with a respectful audience, kids are fine as long as they are also being quiet and respectful. Bringing babies into a movie is insane. The Muvico Egyptian in our area has a daycare, and crying room for parents with babies and its encouraged they use it. I live in the Baltimore area, and one of the fears with the Senator shutting down(its doing fine again, for now) is that in addition to it being a great piece of history and a wonderful place to see a movie, its one of about three places within a reasonable driving distance that actually bothers to enforce anything in relation to a policy or set of standards. Yes, its one theater and they arent part of a chain, but the experience is vastly different. Some of my close friends once worked for a Regal Cinemas as managers and we would often meet them afterhours on Thursday and watch whatever movie was going to be released the next day. During these times, they would relate some of the things they saw and dealt with.One particular evening we showed up and apparently there had been a big disturbance in the theater. Seems a couple were having sex in one of the stadium seats, in a theater that was more than 3/4s full. Clearly, there were complaints. When my friend, the manager on duty went to them, and why he felt the need to be polite and discreet Im not sure, asked them to stop and leave. The guy stands up, apparently some big, redneck type, with his pants unzipped, and decides his privacy has been invaded, starts cursing and throws a punch. The other Ushers came to my friends aid and pulled the guy off, and it obviously resulted in the police being called. Really though, its sadly the mentality of the multiplex crowd that will allow this problem to never be completely cleared up, regardless of the managers. Who is going to come to a movie and have full-on sex in a crowded theater? Talkbackers, dont answer that, but sex smells, keep it at home or in the bathroom of the truck-stop. Not as extreme as that example, but still extreme are some things Ive witnessed at theaters in just the past two years alone: At Chronicles of Narnia, my wife and I, and some friends were catching a Sunday evening show and began to notice what smelled like someone taking a dump. It became so pronounced that it was hard to pass it off as a random fart. Finally, after its not getting better, and we are beginning to wonder of one of our company has suffered some kind of accident, my wife points out that two seats down, and I swear this is the truth, a mother has her baby laid out on the seat next to her and is changing the child's ridiculously full diaper. She had baby wipes, powder, a new diaper, a rattle to keep him occupied. And the movie was playing! The only thing she lacked was a baby einstein cd so he could listen to mozart while finishing his bowel movement.People treat these places like their own living rooms, and its really out of hand. There is a theater in Owings Mills which sadly is one of the only places that certain smaller movies ever come(Ghost in the Shell: Innocence only played there exclusively)and in addition to it being dangerous(its the place that was in the news around this time last year when a guy watching X3 was shot to death by a nutjob.)In that one you get the crazy homeless people as the above poster mentioned, what appears to be random gangs who may have crawled out of West Side Story since they have a penchant for DANCING DURING A MOVIE. Im not talking Dreamgirls either. They were dancing in the middle of Star Wars! How does that relate? In the instance of this theater, the staff is also inept. We once listened to one solitary cricket chirp its way through a whole movie, which was distracting but not when compared with the three employee noobs with flashlights who were crawling on the ground and over the theater seats to seek out and potentially destroy said cricket, during the movie. I could go on, but since I dont have any real solutions to offer, I wont. Quint is right about one thing: Policies need to change. Most of this stuff happens because people know what they can and cant get away with it.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:46 a.m. CST

    How to avoid the assh*les at the Theater

    by The Central Scrutinizer

    When I really want to see a film and at the same time avoid the jerks, I usually go to the earliest Sunday matinée.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:47 a.m. CST

    men with googles

    by filmcoyote

    a lot of theatres have those infra-red googles now so staff can watch for pirates. well they should use them for every movie and kick out talkers too. they are ruining cinema. i've never bought a pirate, i don't buy from the concessions stand and here in the UK we have a great cinema chain called Cineworld that has these passes so tickets are cheap as chips but i still dread every movie i see because i think will this one be ruined by morons. Cinema owners, kick these people out. Do that and I promise to stop smuggling in my drinks every week.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:59 a.m. CST

    Proactive management support

    by RenoNevada2000

    A few theatre managers have stated that their bonuses evaporate if the kick someone out who then complains to their corporate bosses. My thought is, if you see someone get kicked out of a theatre for loutish behavior, call up the corporate office and praise that theatre's management to their bosses. I'm sure that hearing patrons will be spending more of their moviegoing money at the theatre that actually enforces rules against talking through a movie may be incentive for corporate management to be more encouraging in these situations.

  • April 20, 2007, 10 a.m. CST

    WE OFFER FREE PASSES TO ALL 0FF-DUTY POLICE AS SECURITY

    by JDanielP

    How do like that bit of notification in the slide-show before the movie? And it should be signed on multiple walls. Good idea, don't you think?

  • April 20, 2007, 10:10 a.m. CST

    For the people suggesting we got a different showtimes

    by Kraken

    "No way. They're the ones that suck, why should we change?" Honestly, I've tried that tactic, and a lot of times if you go during the week, you'll still get theater talkers. Sure, the theater will be mostly empty, but sure enough, the talkers will sit right behind you for some reason. I also get that the ushers don't get paid enough to deal with this shit. That's why, once again, this rant is for the theater owners. Hiring specialty staff (security, bouncers) is the way to go here. If talkers knew that there was a 300lb dude outside waiting to kick their asses out, that would at least be a bit of a deterrent. That way you only have to hire one guy to be the muscle, and the ushers can be the ears.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:12 a.m. CST

    Googles of goggles

    by indyjonez100

    filmcoyote, goggles right?

  • April 20, 2007, 10:14 a.m. CST

    SO SAY WE ALL!

    by raw_bean

    Awesome rant Quint. Here in the UK there's usually at least one moment in any given film where someone 'watching' pisses me off, but when I went with my family to see Troy there were two teenage dickheads who clearly didn't give a fuck for the film, were just talking away and using their mobiles. I kept asking them to be quiet, which usually quietened them down for half an hour or so (ad got me sullen glances), just long enough for me to think they'd finished, then start up again when there wasn't any major action sequence happening. I got quite irate, told them everyone there had paid to see a film, not listen to them, and they shut up for the final act of the film. They'd already somewhat ruined it by then (even moreso than the poor script and awful music), and I really wish I'd gone and asked someone to remove them (I came very close a few times, but each time I mistakenly thought I'd actually shamed them into decent behaviour - more fool me). I wish it was made clear that this was taken very seriously and would be dealt with promptly if the staff were notified. I'm too much of a movie geek to stop going to cinemas over this but it annoys my brother even more than me and I know for a fact that he goes to the cinema much less than he would if this problem wasn't so prevalent.<p>Just look at this thread! 200 posts in one night, 99% of them in agreement (when does that EVER happen on AICN)!?

  • April 20, 2007, 10:18 a.m. CST

    Theatres should employ police services. And...

    by JDanielP

    ...put laws in place that give the police the ability to write tickets on those who disturb others in a movie theatre (when that person next leaves the theatre or once the movie is over). Draw the line and enforce it. Then you'll see people going back to theatres everywhere!

  • April 20, 2007, 10:18 a.m. CST

    Two Stories

    by Fount of Useless Info

    (1) Several years ago, I made the awful mistake of going to see Mafia at the theater. It was only $2, but I still felt robbed. Anyway, the theater was packed with annoying teenagers who wouldn't stop talking loudly. Things finally got so bad that the manager stopped the film, came into the theater and told everyone that if anyone talked he was going to kick them out with no refund. He even went so far as to say that he "didn't care if you are telling someone you have to go to the bathroom. No talking." You know what? It was quiet after that. The movie still sucked though. <P> (2) When I was a wee lad, (6 or so) we went to see Clash of the Titans. It loved that movie, but I will always remember that at one point in the movie one of the female characters is getting into/out of a bath (it's been a while since I've seen it, so I can't think of the exact situation or name), and a man who was at the theater with his kids exclaimed, "Check it ooooouuut!!!!!" Never can I watch that film without thinking of that dude.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:18 a.m. CST

    Two Stories

    by Fount of Useless Info

    (1) Several years ago, I made the awful mistake of going to see Mafia at the theater. It was only $2, but I still felt robbed. Anyway, the theater was packed with annoying teenagers who wouldn't stop talking loudly. Things finally got so bad that the manager stopped the film, came into the theater and told everyone that if anyone talked he was going to kick them out with no refund. He even went so far as to say that he "didn't care if you are telling someone you have to go to the bathroom. No talking." You know what? It was quiet after that. The movie still sucked though. <P> (2) When I was a wee lad, (6 or so) we went to see Clash of the Titans. It loved that movie, but I will always remember that at one point in the movie one of the female characters is getting into/out of a bath (it's been a while since I've seen it, so I can't think of the exact situation or name), and a man who was at the theater with his kids exclaimed, "Check it ooooouuut!!!!!" Never can I watch that film without thinking of that dude.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:18 a.m. CST

    Two Stories

    by Fount of Useless Info

    (1) Several years ago, I made the awful mistake of going to see Mafia at the theater. It was only $2, but I still felt robbed. Anyway, the theater was packed with annoying teenagers who wouldn't stop talking loudly. Things finally got so bad that the manager stopped the film, came into the theater and told everyone that if anyone talked he was going to kick them out with no refund. He even went so far as to say that he "didn't care if you are telling someone you have to go to the bathroom. No talking." You know what? It was quiet after that. The movie still sucked though. <P> (2) When I was a wee lad, (6 or so) we went to see Clash of the Titans. It loved that movie, but I will always remember that at one point in the movie one of the female characters is getting into/out of a bath (it's been a while since I've seen it, so I can't think of the exact situation or name), and a man who was at the theater with his kids exclaimed, "Check it ooooouuut!!!!!" Never can I watch that film without thinking of that dude.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:18 a.m. CST

    Two Stories

    by Fount of Useless Info

    (1) Several years ago, I made the awful mistake of going to see Mafia at the theater. It was only $2, but I still felt robbed. Anyway, the theater was packed with annoying teenagers who wouldn't stop talking loudly. Things finally got so bad that the manager stopped the film, came into the theater and told everyone that if anyone talked he was going to kick them out with no refund. He even went so far as to say that he "didn't care if you are telling someone you have to go to the bathroom. No talking." You know what? It was quiet after that. The movie still sucked though. <P> (2) When I was a wee lad, (6 or so) we went to see Clash of the Titans. It loved that movie, but I will always remember that at one point in the movie one of the female characters is getting into/out of a bath (it's been a while since I've seen it, so I can't think of the exact situation or name), and a man who was at the theater with his kids exclaimed, "Check it ooooouuut!!!!!" Never can I watch that film without thinking of that dude.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:18 a.m. CST

    Two Stories

    by Fount of Useless Info

    (1) Several years ago, I made the awful mistake of going to see Mafia at the theater. It was only $2, but I still felt robbed. Anyway, the theater was packed with annoying teenagers who wouldn't stop talking loudly. Things finally got so bad that the manager stopped the film, came into the theater and told everyone that if anyone talked he was going to kick them out with no refund. He even went so far as to say that he "didn't care if you are telling someone you have to go to the bathroom. No talking." You know what? It was quiet after that. The movie still sucked though. <P> (2) When I was a wee lad, (6 or so) we went to see Clash of the Titans. It loved that movie, but I will always remember that at one point in the movie one of the female characters is getting into/out of a bath (it's been a while since I've seen it, so I can't think of the exact situation or name), and a man who was at the theater with his kids exclaimed, "Check it ooooouuut!!!!!" Never can I watch that film without thinking of that dude. That's

  • April 20, 2007, 10:18 a.m. CST

    Two Stories

    by Fount of Useless Info

    (1) Several years ago, I made the awful mistake of going to see Mafia at the theater. It was only $2, but I still felt robbed. Anyway, the theater was packed with annoying teenagers who wouldn't stop talking loudly. Things finally got so bad that the manager stopped the film, came into the theater and told everyone that if anyone talked he was going to kick them out with no refund. He even went so far as to say that he "didn't care if you are telling someone you have to go to the bathroom. No talking." You know what? It was quiet after that. The movie still sucked though. <P> (2) When I was a wee lad, (6 or so) we went to see Clash of the Titans. It loved that movie, but I will always remember that at one point in the movie one of the female characters is getting into/out of a bath (it's been a while since I've seen it, so I can't think of the exact situation or name), and a man who was at the theater with his kids exclaimed, "Check it ooooouuut!!!!!" Never can I watch that film without thinking of that dude. That's only

  • April 20, 2007, 10:18 a.m. CST

    Two Stories

    by Fount of Useless Info

    (1) Several years ago, I made the awful mistake of going to see Mafia at the theater. It was only $2, but I still felt robbed. Anyway, the theater was packed with annoying teenagers who wouldn't stop talking loudly. Things finally got so bad that the manager stopped the film, came into the theater and told everyone that if anyone talked he was going to kick them out with no refund. He even went so far as to say that he "didn't care if you are telling someone you have to go to the bathroom. No talking." You know what? It was quiet after that. The movie still sucked though. <P> (2) When I was a wee lad, (6 or so) we went to see Clash of the Titans. It loved that movie, but I will always remember that at one point in the movie one of the female characters is getting into/out of a bath (it's been a while since I've seen it, so I can't think of the exact situation or name), and a man who was at the theater with his kids exclaimed, "Check it ooooouuut!!!!!" Never can I watch that film without thinking of that dude. That's only marginally

  • April 20, 2007, 10:19 a.m. CST

    BRAVO, Quint !!

    by Lord Bullingdon

    Over the last couple years I've started to see people talking on their cell phones during the film. When you chastise them, they always have the same outraged response you experienced. So what can we do about turning the tide on this issue?

  • April 20, 2007, 10:19 a.m. CST

    What Just Happened?

    by Fount of Useless Info

    Sorry about that! Any way to delete the extra posts?

  • April 20, 2007, 10:19 a.m. CST

    On the flip side, I have enjoyed moments of very bad...

    by rbatty024

    movies because of some talkers. When watching the Transporter there was this guy a couple of seats down who was on the edge of his seat for that piece of shit. The guy loved the movie and really got into it. In fact, watching his reaction, including more than one "awwwww, yeah," was far more interesting than what was on screen. When the sex scene started he said to himself (he was sitting alone) "slap that ass." Although I'll admit this is incredibly rare. The worst was watching the terrible I Still Know What You Did Last Summer with a bunch of pre-teens who would jump and scream when the movie wasn't even scary and then proceed to blabber on about how "freakin' scary" the movie was. We need to lower the drinking age so that teenagers get into the bar and out of the movie theaters.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:22 a.m. CST

    200+ posts on this

    by Kraken

    And they say that for every person that posts or writes letters into papers, they represent x amount of people that agree but don't take the time to write in (like each person that posts represents 1,000 more that didn't but agree). I'd love to see one big movement where other press outlets write and investigate this topic all at the same time. I really do think if the studios and theater owners experimented with a test market of theaters, pay some bouncers, and enforce the no-talking policy (and advertise that they will be doing so) I think they will discover the increase of people coming back to watch movies again, will more than compensate for the extra expense in hiring staff to do nothing but take care of the theater experience.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:23 a.m. CST

    Been there-done that!!!

    by solobear

    Man are you ever right! I've had this happen on so many occasions that I've lost count. And I don't care if you're man, woman or child. SHUT THE FUCK UP OR GET OUT. I'll be nice ONCE, but then the fire of hatred gets turned up!

  • April 20, 2007, 10:25 a.m. CST

    A Theatre Manager's Perspective

    by rcezekie

    Ok, I have visited this site for years, but never actually posted until now. As a theatre manager that actually enforces no talking rules, R Rating enforcement, no outside food, no cell phones on, and the whole nine-yards I have to say that we actually get criticised for it. We get so many people who honestly get furious at us for asking to see ID to see a R Rated film. That get angry cause we demand that a parent actually accompany a minor to a rated R film. I myself was spit on and challenged to a fight because I told a guy to put his feet off the back of the seat. I tell my ushers to remove anyone who is an annoyance or distraction to other customers. The problem is that theatre patrons have some crazy sense of entitlement, like I spent $7.75 so screw you I am going to talk loud, and mess up your seats! Screw those guys, I am going to keep kicking 'em out, and hopefully letting the actual good patrons have a good experience.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:27 a.m. CST

    Amen, Quint!

    by OBSD

    And to dlhoskins03 (although I know it was waaaay back there): DO. YOUR. FUCKING. JOB. It's not my job to get up and miss 10 minutes of a movie that I FUCKING PAID FOR, so I can find your lazy ass to complain about obnoxious teenagers. Yes, the managers are never to be found when you need them, so that's at least 10 minutes of me waiting in the lobby while they find your ass. Bu you want me to do that twice? That's at least a third of a movie that's gone because you people don't give a shit about the customers. And then you MIGHT do something about it? Fuck you, dude. So essentially, you want me to pay you so that I can do your job? Again, I say FUCK YOU. It's people like you that are ruining the movie experience fo everybody, you lazy fuck.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:30 a.m. CST

    Revenge

    by greatmoose

    On the DVD (and VHS) for the old movie "A Guy Named Joe" (one of my favs, BTW), there's a short before the main movie showing all of the annoyances in a theater (except for the sex). It also shows how to deal with said annoyances. It's great. I can't recall the name of the short, but it's definitely worth a watch. Goes to show that assholes have always been a problem in theaters.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:30 a.m. CST

    People pay

    by sayanything9

    Thats what really gets to me.People pay moeny( around £6-£7 in the UK) to fuck about.I often move stuff around at work so that I can take a day off and see something thats important to me so I don't get hassled

  • April 20, 2007, 10:30 a.m. CST

    re:rcezekie

    by Kraken

    It's guys like you that need to be managers at all theaters. I know it's a thankless job sometimes man, but I bet you anything you're a hero to an entire theater of people when you enforce those rules. But seriously, it's managers like rcezekie that need to be supported by the theater owners and movie studios. Get this guy a security/bouncer budget ASAP.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:31 a.m. CST

    Been there-done that PART 2

    by solobear

    I live in a small town in Nebraska, and the three theaters here are run by this douchenozzle that refuses to do anything about the noisy assholes who frequent his theaters. I bet I missed 20 minutes of dialogue from CASINO ROYALE thanks to a bunck of obnoxious teenagers who wouldn't keep their pieholes shut. And the people working at the theater did absolutely nothing. This kind of crap hasn't kept me from going to movies-and it never will-but when I go, I'm loaded for bear. If these dickheads who run the theaters can't do their jobs, then I'll do it for them-but my tactics are quite different from theirs, and I ain't POLITE about it!!!!

  • April 20, 2007, 10:40 a.m. CST

    Stay Strong rcezekie

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    We all support and thank you.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:41 a.m. CST

    Rage

    by wickedeve

    <p>You’re right about how it’s not the movies themselves keeping viewers away—it’s the verbal diarrhea stinking up the joints.</p> <p>The quiet “theater rage” of us movie-lovers is pretty similar to a form of road rage itself. I constantly ask myself why the big mouths feel entitled to talk in the first place; it’s analogous to the question of why certain drivers feel that their time is more important than the rest of ours, so they run stop signs, drive on the shoulder to get ahead in traffic jams without waiting, etc. Clearly, the big mouths feel that talking is their right, and the rest of us just need to deal with it.</p> <p>In a perfect world, shame would shut these people up, just as shame forced OJ’s If-I-Did-It autobiography to be scrapped or just as shame used to discourage antisocial behavior. But now, when asked politely to be quiet, these morons talk back, hence escalating the situation when all they have to do is realize that they’re in the wrong. But God forbid someone point that out to them. How rude. For some reason, these idiots have no shame, and their entitlement seems to validate their behavior.</p> <p>Often, I wonder if the theater's pre-show adds to the confusion of when it's okay to talk and when it's not okay. The lights are on during the pre-show and you're allowed to talk, and a less intelligent person might not be able to understand the cue to shut up when the lights dim. The pre-show kind of trains people to think it's okay to chat while something is happening on screen, IMHO.</p>

  • April 20, 2007, 10:41 a.m. CST

    Hey, classicgamenerd.

    by JDanielP

    I'm trying to watch a movie, here! Keep it down, will ya?! And somebody slap that kid with the laser-pointer before I knock his lights out!

  • April 20, 2007, 10:44 a.m. CST

    to JDanielP and Scorekeeper

    by dlhoskins03

    Look, I'm just telling you what the policy of the theater I work at is. I'm sorry that I'm not allowed to kick somebody out after one complaint. I've been working at that theater for four years and I can't tell you how many punk-ass little bastards I've had to kick out. They are a pain in my ass as much as they are in yours. I not only have to deal with the little pricks tearing stuff up but then I have to listen to people bitch and make my job harder. I have my ushers do at least two walkthrougs on slow nights and on Friday and Saturday nights I do extras myself. Let me make this clear... WE CANNOT DO ANYTHING IF WE DON'T HEAR PEOPLE TALKING! When they hear the door open they stop talking so unless somebody tells us about it WHILE THE MOVIE IS GOING ON we can't do anything about it. So if you don't want to miss the whole movie because of dumbasses then miss two minutes so we can take care of it!

  • April 20, 2007, 10:47 a.m. CST

    It's about time for a Revolution

    by BenFerris

    Everyone in this talkback, plus anyone that has read this wonderful piece of literature by Quint, should really start pressuring theaters to initiate this policy. That might mean talking to the managers and just asking how strict they are or maybe just strongly complaining about loud ass people. All I'm saying is that we as theater goers need to start cracking down on this. LETS DO THIS.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:47 a.m. CST

    im sorry but...

    by doctoremittbrown

    look, im not a racist, and no matter what one says on a matter like this they come off as a racist. I am a white 25 year old film geek, i work at a video store with most black employees and black patrons. I have nothing agaisnt anyone for the color of thier skin at all EVER...except in fucking movie theaters...im sorry but 99% of the time the person(s) making the disruption is of the African American persuasion in my experience. I wish it werent true, but it is, and if you say I'm a sick degenerate racist for spouting out such truth then you must be in heavy denial. Did no one see Scary Movie...the theater scene in that movie should have won a fucking oscar for the truth that it tried to tell the world, and it was made by black people. That is why I never give the Waynes brothers shit, they made what i think is one of, if not the best critique on the current western movie-going theater experience ever. Why do black people act like this in a theater...I wish i knew...me and my compadres always assumed cause of the stereotypical attitude that something is owed to them, and because they paid to be here they can pretty much scream and shit on the floors and its their god-given right. I realize how racist that sounds, but i have went to the movies WAYYYYYY more then most people at my age, almost 4 times a week, and my quarter lifetime of constant experience has compiled solid undeniable evidence that while white/other people can be disruptive, its almost always those of color who can stay off thier cell phones or hold down thier comments. Race aside, I think the point that everyone is missing is that this is caused by a general lack of respect for movies themselves anymore. People arent amazed at the magic on the screen like they used to, when raiders of the lost ark came out, everyone in the theater was probably so heavily interested and awed at the "awsome" sight on the screen talking or making a scene was the LAST thing on thier minds. Now in this post-matrix action-effects orgy we call modern cinema people are so spoiled and desensitised to granduer and the beauty that used to go into every single frame of a major film only about 3 times, EVERY WEEK...nothing surprises or awes people enough anymore to enthrall them into not responding to that text message, or not talking to thier dumb as homies. All those fucks that talk and shit know that they could easily just go home and be just as entertained by thier dvd players, but they go out cause they want to GO OUT, they arent thier to digest every frame on the screen, they are their cause they wanted to do something. They are the non-geeks/film buffs. like ive said a million times...THE PEOPLE THAT MAKE THE DISRUPTIONS IN THEATERS ARE NOT, NOT, NOT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE THERE TO SEE THE (THE!!!!) MOVIE, BUT THOSE THAT ARE THERE TO SEE A (A!!!) MOVIE!!!

  • April 20, 2007, 10:49 a.m. CST

    OBSD the last comment is for you too

    by dlhoskins03

    You wouldn't last a night at my job Dick Weasel!

  • April 20, 2007, 10:50 a.m. CST

    Attention! Petition Online!

    by moviemecca

    Hey, talkbackers! I, too, am sick to death of the lack of etiquette and want to do something about it. I have started an online petition for the CEOs to change their policies on this matter, and would love it if you all would go and sign it. I promise to follow through on this matter, and I think if we speak out we will be heard! The link is http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/theatreetiquette. I'm not a big Hollywood player, but I know a few people in the industry, and I think together we can make a real difference. Who's with me?

  • April 20, 2007, 10:51 a.m. CST

    HELL YEAH!!!!

    by Drexl Spivey

    I'm sick and tired of inconsiderate assholes (a)talking thru movies and (b)bringing their stupid loudmouth undisciplined kids into movies that I'm paying 12 dollars to watch. This behavior has become normal instead of rare as it once was. Good job, Quint. I wish you had issued out a Steven Seagal style asswhipping on that pantload that mouthed off at you. Vacancy sounds good. I'll rent it when it comes out.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:57 a.m. CST

    My Rant

    by utz_world

    Christmas 2006. At a Century theatre in Huntington Beach CA, this mom strolls in with an toddler to our matinee of "The Pursuit of Happyness". Little bastard starts screaming at the top of his/her lungs during one of the key dramatic scenes. This went on and on for about 5 minutes when the whole audience just yelled "Take that kid outside!" She did...but eventually brought the kid back in for more screaming. Eventually she left for good. These theatre chains need to do something about this or else.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:58 a.m. CST

    to moviemecca

    by dlhoskins03

    I'm all for a petition but take it from somebody who works for one of these big chains, they won't do anything about it. It will more than likely be tossed aside without even being read.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:59 a.m. CST

    Largely depends on the theater...

    by tmifune78

    Pick a upper-class neighborhood, get an upper-class audience. I very rarely have problems at the Pacific Sherman Oaks Galleria where I see 50+ films a year, a theater which seems to have a surplus of employees on any given night. They check tickets for most major releases which in my mind as a paying patron is a good thing because it keeps that type of mentality away (which are generally the troublemakers). It may also have to do with aquiring a feel for less popular seats - not bad mind you, but just not dead center. The back two left seats of the front portion of the Galleria is perfect for me and my wife - easy access to the aisle, no one behind us, very rarely anyone in front of us and only my wife has to share her right armrest (ha!). It's worth a slight drive to find a theater you trust.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:01 a.m. CST

    Quint is a...

    by Godardwhowhatnow

    MAN ON FIRE! Maybe next week AICN's Andy Rooney will give us a rant on the poor quality of airplane food or those teens and their baggy pants!

  • April 20, 2007, 11:02 a.m. CST

    Yip...

    by Grrrr....

    ...seems like it's all over. I live in South Africa and it's getting to a stage where I don't want to go to movies because of the talking and cellphones. During 'King Kong' I had a guy who answered his phone about 4 times. My wife noticed that my blood pressure was rocketing and I was going to get arrested for killing the guy so she gave him a slap on the back of the head. Guy got such a fright he got up and buggered off. Ha, ha ha, got to love her! BUT I think it's even worse in the U.S.A. Of all the times I have watched a movie when I visited the States there were always some tool(s) talking...

  • April 20, 2007, 11:03 a.m. CST

    Kids in an R-rated movie.

    by Jonah Echo

    Recall distinctly a mother being very perturbed and angry with her child when said child began crying, and crawling down in their sit during a movie. I suppose I should mention the movie was that J-Lo crapfest The Cell. The lady looked honestly surprised that the movie was disturbing his son, and rolled her eyes as she took him out. I sat there contemplating the folly of her actions, ten minutes later realized the kid was on to something, and left myself. Best random shouted out thing I can recall hearing though was during the Willard remake(I swear I also watch good movies)when Ben first came on screen and someone sitting behind us exclaimed loudly and with genuine horror/surprise. " That's no $##@% rat! Thats a possum! Damn!!"

  • April 20, 2007, 11:05 a.m. CST

    To dlhoskins03

    by moviemecca

    So we should just roll over and take it? At least we could try!

  • April 20, 2007, 11:05 a.m. CST

    Weeknights are much better

    by dr_buggerlugs

    Theres fewer kids for a start which is always welcome, more often than not there are great seats available, the 2 for 1 offer on wednesdays here in the uk is always welcome (and gets more people into the cinema which is a great move) - the movies on a weekend is the joyous experience it could be though by and large, the UK cinema audience is normally well-behaved.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:07 a.m. CST

    to moviemecca

    by dlhoskins03

    No, as I said I'm all for it. I'm just telling you from experience what the people in our home office do.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:09 a.m. CST

    Petition

    by moviemecca

    I'm just trying to do something, instead of my normal route of sitting back and bitching about it. Please, take two seconds to go and sign the petition, it's free and who knows, it just might work!

  • April 20, 2007, 11:11 a.m. CST

    Re: Petition

    by dlhoskins03

    could you post the link to that site again?

  • April 20, 2007, 11:13 a.m. CST

    In defence of dlhoskins03

    by Kraken

    Even at the Alamo the managers will give talkers a warning before kicking them out. But the good thing about the Alamo is that you don't have to go far to find a manager, and if you don't want to, you don't even have to get out of your seat... you can raise a flag. Honestly though, once a manager has been told once, they should stick around longer than a few minutes, and then they should also keep checking in (or have an usher do it) after they have been altered to a talker. There has to be a solution. Other theater managers here have spoken up and said they've been able to enforce the rules with great success and appreciation from the other movie goers. So there is a way that it works.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Petition URL

    by moviemecca

    Sorry, I should have used this first: http://tinyurl.com/25mg8n Please take a moment and sign.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:21 a.m. CST

    Maybe too late, but here's a suggestion.

    by earl of sandwich

    Pack a flashlight, as powerful and concealable as possible. As soon as some dipshit starts talking, blast him with the hi-beam and tell him to "BE QUIET!" in as authoratative voice as possible. My wife get's all antsy when I tell people to be quiet, she's worried some dumb kid will stab me or something (thanks honey). But I've fantasized about the flashlight routine for years. It would really a sppok a loudmouth to get the spotlight like that, and they'll never know if your an employee or just a vigilate film geek with a maglite.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:24 a.m. CST

    RIOT IN AMC THEATRE

    by JohnnyDeath

    While attending an opening night show of HILLS HAVE EYES 2 a bunch of folks snuck in about 20 minutes into the flick. Their numbers started to grow and they all began talking loudly as if at a party. One guy sitting near them asked them to just take a seat. They attacked him. This was at about an hour into the flick. The fight went on for a good 10 minutes. Everyone was terrified to move, finally cops and theatre employees entered and hauled out the gang and the poor guy that they had beaten. The thing that gets me is: A: they demanded ID (17 and over) when first seating and checked stubs. Obviously once the feature started they stopped and in came at least a dozen young rude pricks over about a40 minute period. B: When I asked for a pass after the show the manager said, "yeah we know about it, and took care of it as quickly as we could. I argued and finally got 2 "re-admit" passes. AMC Clifton Commons in NJ. Great theatre, but lousy with talking rude bastard patrons on Fri. and Sat nights.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:25 a.m. CST

    my hometown theater

    by mshawkins

    Hey Quint, I live in Connersville, Indiana. My town has a bit of cinematic history in that we can claim to be the childhood home of Robert Wise. Our high school theater is named after the guy. Well, we didn't even have a movie theater until about 2005. Many of the residents of my town don't leave it, we are kind of in the middle of nowhere. But this relatively new theater, I have been to it 3 times in the past two years. And I love going to the theater. I LOVE it. I have even had the privilege to go to other movie theaters, including the Alamo Drafthouse for BNAT 8. The first time I went to this to see LAND OF THE DEAD. throughout the whole fucking movie, this little dipshit screamed out "I'm Rick James, Bitch!" That was annoying. Second movie, RENT, me and my girlfriend had to sit through the whole movie with the only other giggling girls in the theater screaming "Oh my God, that's so gross!" everytime two men kissed on screen. Now, this is outside the conversations they had during the whole movie. The final time was during SILENT HILL. The conversations got so loud that time that I was about to get up and get an usher, but one had just walked in the theater and then proceeded to carry on the conversation with his friends who were in the theater! Since that final incident, I don't watch movies in my hometown anymore. I drive an hour and a half to Indianapolis. It's just a shame that this town, which in some ways must have had some inspiration to the man who fucking edited Citizen Kane and directed so numerous classics, has to become such a shithole for actually watching movies.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:28 a.m. CST

    Weeknights - hell no

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    So let me get this straight, I'm supposed to go on a weeknight because someone doesn't know how to shut their yap? I think not. When the weekend's here I'm on my time. If you don't like it too bad. What now? Let me tell you what now. I'ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' talkbackers, who'll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your ass.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:30 a.m. CST

    Finally, someone speaks for the unspoken!

    by AmericanMovieFan

    I HATE going to theatres with these fucking morons. I understand fan fare. When I went to a midnight screening of the Big Lebwoski there was a bit of hooting, hollering, quoting, etc. but it was all in good taste, because we were just a bunch of fans at a for-fans screening. Totally appropriate. But when you have the people talking on their cell phones, holding conversations during the movie, yelling out unnecessary comments, young girls giggling, etc. I can't take it. Sometimes I tell people to pipe down, most of the time I grit my teeth. i'm somewhat non-confrontational in nature. But the two worst offenders would be: People with bright cell phones who keep them on to text and whatnot, people who just chat and above all: Crying babies. I love kids. But I find it A) irresponsible and B) irritating as hell when parents bring little kids to a movie, and the kid starts yelling, screaming, running around, etc. and the parents, if they take the kid out at all, tend to put up with it for a good half hour before they do anything about it. And I see some people's dilemma; can't afford a babysitter, single parent; they are forced by their situation to bring their kid with them. But to me, that unexcusable. It's still rude and inappropriate to ruin the movie going experience of others in such a way. My suggestion for fixing all of this: Have a strict no talking policy. As a general rule, if someone has to be warned by patrons more than once to be quiet, then it's appropriate to get the theatre manager involved, at which point the perpetrators should just be kicked out. no warning, just ejected. Second suggestion would be to make it clear that the policy goes for babies as well. If you're kid is being rowdy or too loud, you have to leave. Airplanes do it all the time. I've had a number of flights return to the gate to kick off parents with rowdy kids. If airplanes can and do do this, why not movie theatres?

  • April 20, 2007, 11:31 a.m. CST

    You have to pick your spots

    by amrisharmpit

    Having experienced this problem before, I've found that it directly correlates to three factors: 1) the film that's playing, 2) the day/time of the showing, 3) the location of the theater. There are always exceptions, of course, but I have generally found this to be the case. If you go to the 7 pm opening-night showing of Spiderman 3 at a suburban mall theater, chances are you're going to find it PACKED with annoying, gibbering teenagers. However, if you see it on a Tuesday afternoon three weeks later at a small-town theater, you'll probably have a private screening. What I've learned is to be aware of the circumstances I'm getting into before I go to the theater.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Dasher

    by Fount of Useless Info

    You are absolutely right, and I do much the same thing. However, the problem is that neither you nor I should even have to think about that. When we pay money to see a movie in the theater, we are paying for the experience and that experience should not include missing the movie because of talking people.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:35 a.m. CST

    Six signatures...

    by moviemecca

    How many freaking people are on this site? C'mon, folks, you can do better than that!

  • April 20, 2007, 11:37 a.m. CST

    you were way to easy on them, quint

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    i wouldve really started some shit with them - made sure they were removed - is the directors name really "nimrod"? - does he have two brothers, "dweeb" and "poindexter"?

  • April 20, 2007, 11:40 a.m. CST

    An honest question.

    by Mooly

    Part of me wonders if talking in movies really IS getting worse, or if it's more noticeable due to stadium seating. With oldschool theatres, people talking have to have their voices travel through a crowd. Typically the will only annoy the people closely around them. With stadium sreating, people behind you can have their voices carry much further and bother more people. I have found that if i HAVE to go to a theatre to see a movie, I will head straight to the back row. No kickers and unless someone is being really loud and annoying right in front of me I don't notice as much...because their voices carry forward and down.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:42 a.m. CST

    online petitions don't really work

    by Kraken

    Actually writing a physical letter is the only thing that really works. But keeping this talkback going, talking about why you don't go to theaters anymore because of this issue is a good thing. No point in starting an online petition when this talkback is pretty much one in itself.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:43 a.m. CST

    Another thing...

    by AmericanMovieFan

    at the risk of sounding classist or racist, I will also say this: Urban theatres...ahem...tend to be the worst offenders. I live in the Bay Area and i used to go to this the 'big' theatre at a place called Jack London square, but the problem was always that 'urban' people would disrupt films, because for them it's a social outing, not a film going experience. Then a nicer theatre, a huge AMC multi plex, came up. So I started going to that, and they followed. I hate racists, I hate bigotry and I hate stereotyping, but I'm gonna do all of those things right now. The main source of theatre perturbences for me, tend to come from rowdy urban black theatre goers. I'm sorry to say it.....but it's the damn truth. I'm so ashamed....but the truth had to be heard.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:44 a.m. CST

    jimmy_009...

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    you said - "It's a nightmare going to the theaters. It's like the only people who go anymore are douche bag A-Holes." - and thats why "blades of glory" was #1 two weeks in a row

  • April 20, 2007, 11:44 a.m. CST

    Mooly

    by Fount of Useless Info

    Many theaters where I have had issues are old enough not to be stadium seating, so I don't think that's the issue.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:48 a.m. CST

    I kicked another kid in the back of the head

    by DirkD13"

    whilst watching Home Alone 2 many years ago as he wouldn't shut the fuck up. Then his brother came to meet him from the cinema. Good thing I was a fast little fucker back then.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:49 a.m. CST

    Kraken...

    by moviemecca

    Do you really believe that this talkback will be read by theatre-owners and they will say, "Lawsy, lawsy, we best change our policy"? The point of the petition is to try and implement change, not just sit back and let others do the work.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:49 a.m. CST

    To the people who have suggested that

    by Fount of Useless Info

    it's almost always the black people disrupting things: In my experience, many black people have talked through movies that I was watching. As have white adults. Sometimes, it's even the elderly white people. More often then not, it is the priviledged white teenager that disrupts the movies I am at. I don't think that trying to say it's one group is really helpful. Maybe where you are it's one group, where someone else is it's another and where I am it's the white teenagers. The bottom line is that there are rude people of all sorts, and they are the ones disrupting things. (Unless you were suggesting that theaters have a new "no black folk" rule. That's not what anyone was meaning, was it? Ok, good.)

  • April 20, 2007, 11:50 a.m. CST

    i signed that petition

    by Kloipy

    Let's hope we can do something

  • April 20, 2007, 11:51 a.m. CST

    I agree, but...

    by hope1005

    some of you are a bit militant. I have kids, three in fact and I have on occasion taken then with me to the movies. I am not an unwed jail bait teen mom, but I am a parent who doesn't just dump her kids off on other people to go out. I prefer taking care of my own responsibilities. Of course I don't take them to R-rated movies, and when I do take them if one starts to act up or cry, I leave the theater. My point is that it's not really fair to peg all people who would 'dare' to bring their kids to a movie as either 'unwed jail bait trash' or douche-bags. I hate it when people talk at the movies and I hate people who let kids run wild during a movie as much as the next person, which is why we rarely go.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:52 a.m. CST

    StayBeautiful...

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    well said - and i feel for your situation - but - i dont want to get removed from a theater for confronting a talker - thats happened to me once - oh and, stay beautiful

  • April 20, 2007, 11:54 a.m. CST

    In my experience

    by Kraken

    Rude assholes come in all shapes, colors, classes and ages. And no, I don't think that this talkback is going to change the world. But a lot of industry people do read this site, but wouldn't take the time to read an online petition. The hope would be that someone in the industry reads this (theater owners) and decided to really take an active look at this issue and how it could ultimately benefit them to take care of the theater experience and bring back the disillusioned customers.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Online petitions are useless. Vote with your feet !

    by Pound Sand

    Theater owners are business owners. The only way to affect change is to compromise their bottom line. Only then will a better model emerge. But I think a better analogy is the music industry and RIAA. In the face of declining album sales due to mediocre product and an unwillingness to embrace the modern era, the recording industry blames the interweb, hackers, kids, technology, the iPod etc. Everything but looking inward at the problem. The movie business is the same: mostly mediocre assembly line product served up in a humiliating and depressing environment. When sales stagnate, it must be the fault of the internet pirates. DARN YOU INTERNETS ! Somebody might get wise and figure out that this talkback might be on to something. In the meantime, you can find me at home in a nice comfy couch, with a glass of good wine watching all sorts of nice stuff whenever I want on my big screen. Harry's and others DVD columns are the first place I read now. Sayonara, Mr/Ms. theater owner, cause I won't be back often. Enjoy moderating fights between people yelling "STFU," cleaning up spilled shit, diapers, puke, etc. So much for the magic of the silver screen!

  • April 20, 2007, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Thanks, Kloipy!

    by moviemecca

    That's the correct attitude to take, at least TRYING to do something. Spread the word!

  • April 20, 2007, 11:58 a.m. CST

    Hope1005

    by Fount of Useless Info

    I would never expect parents to not take kids to the movie. I would simply expect them to take them to appropriate movies and to not allow them to disrupt others--basically the same thing I would expect from any moviegoer. Please don't let the words of a few talkbackers who are pissed at the world upset parents like you who are doing things the right way.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:59 a.m. CST

    STOP KURT RUSSELL FROM LAUGHING DURING THE MOVIE TOO !

    by Pound Sand

  • April 20, 2007, 11:59 a.m. CST

    No problem

    by Kloipy

    It may not do much, or anything, but at least you are trying. I used to work for SquareBreakers video chain and i've dealt with dumbasses for years. I'd get them back when they would ask what they should watch. I'd tell them that they would love Gummo. The next week they would come back and yell at me and proceed to rent the new Lorenzo Llaamas movie. Some people shouldn't get to watch movies. they should stick to watching Nascar

  • April 20, 2007, noon CST

    Here I go again Quint

    by liljuniorbrown

    I know i've told this story on this site like three times now but the rant warrants it i guess. I was thrown in jail after a fight during Spiderman2. I had already switched theaters because there was a child running and screaming like a maniac at the first theater i went in so i just went down the hall to the next showing which was like ten minutes later. Behind me a man,his wife and there two daughters were talking nonstop all the way up into the first few scenes. The woman and her daughters were nonstop talking so I turned around and said "Come on! I spent $25 bucks for this(food included) and i don't want to hear ya'll talk". The woman acted like she was so shocked she could have fainted. The girls shut up and the man (use that term loosely) would not say a word. The "mom" kept trying to get the girls to "don't listen to him he can't tell us what to do" so I went and got the manager. He told me and I quote "Sir,this movie is not rated R so children can attend.If you don't like that you'll just have to leave and see something children can't watch" I calmly told him "it's the adults to" and he replied "sir, i can't stay there the whole time to keep them quiet." So instead of asking for a refund I just told the manager that "Thats cool,i'll handle it". He sent an usher with me but I just walked past them and sat down. The were silent until the usher left and rght towards the end (the unmasking by Harry) the "mom" led the daughters in a group scream. Everyone else went the normal route of "shshhhh" while I opted for "stupid ass bitches". The mom berrated the dad as to why he wouldn't say anything until he told me I had better watch my mouth or he would beat my ass. In what my wife still calls "the worst move i've ever made,and worst fight in movie history" I stood up and belted him so hard in the nose it went flat against his face. Big misstake. He went down,the wife jumped up, i acted like i was going to hit her so she screamed bloody murder and of course ushers are all over the place then. I left but didn't get as far as the parking lot before I had to turn myself in and go to jail for the night. Long story kind of short they skipped the criminal hearing to try and get me on a civil suit,problem was a few months later the judge was sympathetic to me having to go back to Afghanistan so he worked something out with my seargent.Case closed, and I still think all rude theater goers should be banned and told to leave in an embarassed fashion. They are killing the industry simply because they are paying(sometimes) to sit and run there mouth on the cell phone during a movie they probably don't like anyways.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Fake Policy before ATHF

    by rcezekie

    If anyone here has seen the ATHF movie, the film starts with a fake policy, were heavy metal food objects threaten severe bodily harm and degredation to any patron who talks, brings a kid to the film, eats their food loudly, or uses a cell phone. I just about broke into applause. I wanted to get extra copies of that scene and replace all our real policies before rated R movies with it.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:04 p.m. CST

    its not mostly black people...

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    everytime ive had to ask someone behind me to stop talking (4 times, not that many) it was white people - 2 times it was a couple (date) - the other 2 cell phone talkers - one of which responded to my "please hold it down" with an angry "my daughter has the flu, its my sitter" (like, how dare i ask her to be quiet) - to which i said back "then maybe you shouldnt be here"

  • April 20, 2007, 12:05 p.m. CST

    Oh sorry

    by rcezekie

    I guess thats a spolier. My bad, I'm knida inexpierienced at this whole talkback thing.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:07 p.m. CST

    My theater experiences are usually good...

    by nonsensical

    Typically I don't get a talker in the audience, though I do have a friend who is a notorious talker. When we go she absolutely has to shut up and she knows it, but still makes comments. Not only that, but if we go in a large group she sits as far away as she can so that if she does make a comment without thinking then she doesn't disturb me. I've done a pretty good job, I think of getting her to not talk and I really think that friends can help break people of that habbit. <p> Of course we all did talk the whole way through Snakes on a Plane, but come on. The whole audience talked and even shouted the key "tag line" along side Sam Jackson when he delivered it. For that audience the film experience was like Rocky Horror... full on participation required. <p> Now here is my chief complaint about my last film experience. Complete lack of concern by the staff of the theater. I noticed that the theater was unusually bright when I got there and the overhead light was on. Probably to clean the place. When the other lights went down these overhead lights stayed on. Then when the cartoon played before the film the light was still on. At that point I got up to ask the manager to turn off the lights. <p> When I left the theater I noticed the key to those lights were left, unattended in the switch and it took ten minutes to get someone to finally turn out the lights. <p> Now this meant that I missed the opening and the majority of the cartoon that preceded the film I went to see and for me that was a big deal. <p> I decided to finally break my fifteen year self imposed ban on Disney movies and go see Meet the Robinsons. Turns out, about a half hour into that film I realized I liked it. I just couldn't help myself and it felt good to see a Disney movie that was good and fun, but I still missed the opening ten minutes because I was the only person who got up out of their seat so that I could get someone to turn off the lights. <p> It's almost as bad as having the film break. Which I've had happen twice. Both times were right in the middle of the climax of the movie and both times it just ruined the film. <p> Essentially I think theaters might need to bring back the "cry room" so that chatty people and crying children can be taken to a place where their parents and friends can still see the film and take care of their child.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:08 p.m. CST

    Tri-Star screening 1988

    by Guy Grand

    This has been a pet peeve of mine all my adult life. And unfortunately, anytime you do tell someone to shut the fuck up, it makes your wife and yourself and your friends real damn uncomfortable for the rest of the movie. Here's my all-time revenge on an asshole patron gabbing away...1988, a press screening at the Century City theatres in LA of "Look Who's Talking." I couldn't have cared less about the movie, but I had to review it for a piece o' crap rag I was writing for. The place was packed to the gills. I took the second to last row. In the last row was a guy in his late 40's, open disco-type shirt and a hoochie secretary blonde girl half his age sitting next to him. Probably some agent, or some studio guy, or a real jack-off critic. Anyway, he talked incessantly. Through a couple trailers they showed at the start. And on into the movie. There were about 15 people in the rows around us when I had sat down. By the time 20 minutes had passed, ALL 15 people had moved elsewhere in the theatre. A few had asked him to "Shush." One black couple had turned to him and said, "Please lower your voice, sir." He replied, "Hey, if you don't like it, move somewhere else." Which they did. That's when the movie was over for me. I looked down at my supertanker Coke, extra large, that I'd been barely sipping. I got up, walked up a small flight of steps that led to a landing in the back of the theatre overlooking the back row, and proceeded to dump the entire massive cup of Coke all over this asshole and his giggly fuck-broad. I pivoted, cocked my baseball cap in reverse, and took off like a shot. The last image I remember was of a horrified Tri-Star publicist looking at me sprinting past her, her mouth open in silent shock. If ANYONE knows who the douchebag was long ago that I dumped Coke on, I'd love to know. I'm sure that one circulated the Tri-Star publicity department for years afterwards.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:09 p.m. CST

    Thanks

    by Kloipy

    I hope they at least made it to the drunken midget make out scene

  • April 20, 2007, 12:10 p.m. CST

    ARCLIGHT DOES NOT ENFORCE NO TALKING

    by damnitpeggy

    Amen to everything Quint has said. The Arclight is THE best theater in Los Angeles, but people constantly talk during movies there and all the ushers ever do is ask the people to be quiet. When I went to see Return of the King the couple behind me literally spoke for the entire 3 hour film. I complained to the ushers repeatedly, but the Arclight never tosses anyone out.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:14 p.m. CST

    liljuniorbrown, i salute you...

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    i fuckin love that story - good for you, man - sorry about the jail time and stuff, but honestly... that punch must have felt great - that asshole asked for it - instead of threatening you, he shouldve told his wife and kids to behave

  • April 20, 2007, 12:16 p.m. CST

    bongo123 - theater experience in Japan

    by Kusoyaro

    Absolutely stunning. Reverent silence for the duration of the film. No one even <I>stirred</I> once the end credits started rolling (well, except for me, because I didn't know any better...I quickly figured it out and went still as well). Then, when the final credit went off the screen, everyone quietly exited the theater. I miss Japan, I really do :(

  • April 20, 2007, 12:20 p.m. CST

    and the movie they sat so still for was...

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    "porky's"

  • April 20, 2007, 12:22 p.m. CST

    I'm with you

    by Spacekicker2001

    I can barely go to theaters because of the amount of talking going on. If you say anything you almost are guaranteed an altercation and of course a ruined movie experience. People should learn to SHUT UP!

  • April 20, 2007, 12:22 p.m. CST

    There's a special place in hell...

    by -guyinthebackrow

    ...just for people who talk in movies. It's called the Catheter Room. Mr. Deity knows what I'm talking about.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:26 p.m. CST

    oh come on

    by mshawkins

    I love all kinds of movies. I watch assembly line stuff with friends, but I have a special place in my heart for crazy stuff too. and It shouldn't matter what kind of movies I see, they shouldn't do it.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:29 p.m. CST

    Well Aint It Cool News...

    by Double-Oh

    that Raimi just confirmed that there will be a Spidey 4,5 and 6?

  • April 20, 2007, 12:30 p.m. CST

    who goes to the full price showings anyway?

    by jccalhoun

    One of the greatest film experiences I had was when I decided to go see Clerks 2 at the first matine a few weeks after it had been out. I was the only one there. Sweet. I can't remember the last time I paid full price for a movie ticket (probably Return of the King?). matines are the only way to go. Same movie, cheaper, fewer people.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:33 p.m. CST

    jccalhoun

    by Kloipy

    That's not the point though. I understand where you are coming from and that's great. But some of us only have nights that we are able to go to the theater. And we shouldn't have to suffer because of inconsiderate people. It's not fair to the people who want to be there. If people need to talk, there are plenty of other places (bars for the over 21 crowd) and diners

  • April 20, 2007, 12:34 p.m. CST

    oh and the last time

    by mshawkins

    Was when I saw Letters from Iwo Jima. some guy couldn't read!!! and his wife read the whole damn movie out to him. That was probably one of the most annoying things that's happened to me in a while. But for some reason, I let it slide.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:40 p.m. CST

    I gotta move to Japan

    by Zarles

    I really do think it's a cultural thing. Americans are constantly told to do whatever the hell they want, wherever and whenever they want to do it.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:43 p.m. CST

    Here's my story...

    by uhitmeintheear

    I was watching Children of Men and really enjoying it when the first loud explosion apparently wakes up someones baby who then proceeds to cry for the entire 2 hour run of the film. By the end I was praying for this film to become a reality. No more kids. Or at least no more in R rated movies.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:54 p.m. CST

    Final thought for dlhoskins03

    by ScoreKeeper

    In order to fix a problem within your business (regardless of what business you operate), you must be pro-active in fixing said problems and not sit idley by waiting for complaints from your customers. Also, this problem is SO widespread and SO commonplace that if your theater is at least three-quarters full you have to assume that somebody somewhere is in there talking and being disruptive. That's the whole point to this talback. If theater owners are just going to wait around for complaints then the problem will never go away and the industry will continue to suffer because of it. I believe that there are many intelligent and creative people out there who operate movie theaters. Surely a solution can be conceived without giving in to excuses.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Hey, geek parents!

    by Zarles

    Tell your kids to behave in the theaters, if you're not already. Hopefully they'll pass it on to their dipshit little friends.

  • April 20, 2007, 12:58 p.m. CST

    The Shining: Bring the Kids! Family Fun For All

    by uss cygnus

    "Isn't this great to see Jack Nicholson make out with a corpse, kids? Say it with me; "Redrum! Redrum!" You want another juicebox? Oh! It's a red one! Just like the blood washing through the elevators...yes, I KNOW Shelly Duval is a HORRIBLE actress..."

  • April 20, 2007, 12:59 p.m. CST

    bum in theater

    by DaleTremont

    I went to an advance screening of Perfume at a berkeley theatre. My friend and I go in, sit down, then five minutes into the movie, we hear a big GROAN. not like a sex groan. the sort of groan one might hear in a mental institution. we shrug it off, thinking some asshole was just being weird. 10 minutes later- it happens again. I look back and see the local bum sitting in the back of the theater with his shoes off. Shoeless Bum continued to make the LOUD FUCKING GROANING NOISE in 10 minutes intervals. Like fucking clockwork. now, i am more or less a friend to the bums. god knows, in berkeley we have a lot of them. But in a fucking movie theater?!?! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING??????? seriously, it's these kind of idiocies that make me want to kick people in the head.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:04 p.m. CST

    Case in point

    by Fecal Debris

    I already have my midnight Spidey 3 tickets, because after three years, I don't want to go on opening night with the general public and have a bunch of fucking teenagers with cell phones and hormones ruin it for me. I took off work on Friday so I can go to the midnight show, like with the other Spideys and Star Wars, so I can see it with people who are there to SEE IT, and not simply have a night out fucking around with their immature prick friends. I'll bet a ton of you TBers have already done this (scored midnight Spidey tix) for the same reason. You could wait, but why--you know the crowds will suck and be full of people who suck, and theater managers will be too busy counting the receipts to care about trouble makers.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:08 p.m. CST

    My worst experience

    by moviemecca

    Over the years I have had small problems with people who won't shut up, and have been able to deal with them quite effectively (it helps to be six three and built) but the worst so far has been when my family and I went to see HP and the Goblet of Fire. It was Thanksgiving, we were visiting relatives in Rolling Hills (rich people territory) and we decided to go see the new Harry Potter. This was a nice theatre, lots of rich people in attendance, so we expected no problems. Well, during the last twenty minutes of the movie, during the confrontation between Harry and Voldemort in the graveyard, this idiot behind us starts to loudly chew and snap her gum. I turned around and glared...at a fifty year old woman wearing a fur coat and a diamond necklace! Popping her fucking gum like some teenybopper kid! No amount of glaring, shhing, or "Stop popping that fucking gum or I'll rip your head off and shit down your neck!" could deter her. That was the last movie I saw in a theatre until GRINDHOUSE. The madness must stop!

  • April 20, 2007, 1:13 p.m. CST

    liljuniorbrown

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    I would have paid ten buck to see THAT movie.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:18 p.m. CST

    Fuck Yeah

    by PotSmokinAlien

    you're the man quint. thats all.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Preach it, Quint!

    by Blanket-Man

    Goddamn the theater-talkers get on my nerves. It seems theater-owners' solution to the problem is to crank up the volume of the movie to ear-splitting levels, in some instances. Which is preferable to hearing some shmuck's recap of last night's LOST in mid-movie, but more of a workaround than a solution...

  • April 20, 2007, 1:20 p.m. CST

    RE: Papa Lazaru + general cinema disgust

    by roachy

    The minute you said "The fact that you have a swanky new makeover" I knew you were talking about UCI in Coolock(which happens to be my cinema of choice since opening[Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, Baby!]). That also,is one of the reasons why I'm commenting. For those of you who don't know of UCI(co-owned by Universal and Paramout) they recently underwent a drastic make-over. By drasic, I mean, they put stadium-style seating in SOME of their screens and MAYBE converted to digital projection. They also opened a café of sorts and installed some arcade machines. Also, coincidentially, upon re-opening, started a new "deal" called "premium seating" whereby if you would prefer to sit in the back two rows(non stadium screens) or the back 8-or-so rows(stadium) you can......for an extra €2.10 or something(for U.S readers, according to the lastest currency market, thats like $400 dollars!)which brings the grand ticket total to about €10.50. What makes this even more insulting is the fact that most screens STILL go unmonitored so you can pay for the standard seat and just sit in a premium seat. Its an absolute joke and is not going to fo anything to help the anti-piracy cause. The fact that this particular UCI is in one of the more ghetto-y areas(REPRESENT!) of Dublin with only one other cinema(santry) even remotely local just makes it more insulting. Theres a severe lack of competition amonst cinema chains here and it means standards are going down the toilet. I'm an avid movie-goer(every week with pops) so I'm gonna be going regardless(the fact that its free for me doesnt hurt either) but if cinemas want to keep business strong they need to seriously re-evaluate their means to make profit. Now, for my bad cinema experience anecdote: My worst so far would have to be 'The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe'. We sat down, 1 row from the back in front of a 20-something couple(they even looked middle-class so you'd THINK they'd have some decency) and they were quiet UNTIL the movie started when they proceeded to talk to each other about their day. Their WHOLE day. I swear, this went on constantly for about 90 or so minutes. I wanted to rip those posh bastards throats out. ...alas, i'm fairly introverted so I did not. Some move disturbances can be downright fun though. Like Dawn of the Dead(2004). A couple of heroin junkies were sitting a few rows in front of us and about 15 minutes in one proclaimed loudly and in your standard Dublin junkie voice "I'veee seeeeen thisss befowore!". He kept drowning on till UCI security(their one saving grace, it seems) picked him up by the arms and legs and dragged him out of the cinema, to laughter and cheers from the audience. Good movie too.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:26 p.m. CST

    VACANCY...at your local theatre. Now that sounds funny

    by JDanielP

    and on topic.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:29 p.m. CST

    A Talkback Where Everyone Agrees and Supports Each Othe

    by utz_world

    I see icsicles on the gates of hell, y'all!

  • April 20, 2007, 1:30 p.m. CST

    Fun at the Movies

    by FlyingGuillotine

    I'm lucky enough to live close to the Arclight, Egyptian and Grauman's Chinese. Tolerating the jackals is thankfully a pretty rare experience these days. But I had some fun times in Chicago. 1) At Ocean's 11, a woman was talking on her cell phone. This guy asked her to shut up a bunch of times. She loudly told whoever she was talking to about how "rude" people can be in the theater. (Oh, sweet irony). The guy finally told her to shut the fuck up. She stood up, walked over to the guy and SAT IN HIS LAP. She said: "Who's gonna shut the fuck up now?!" Luckily, her date was an actual human being. He talked her into leaving the theater. As they left, the theater applauded. I always wonder if they ever got married. 2) At Anaconda, two young ladies engaged in a loud conversation about how "stoo-pee" they found the film. My friend did the usual polite bullshit. They threatened to "shoot his ass in the parking lot." Thank goodness for fine breeding. 3) Whilst watching Enemy at the Gates, it rapidly became apparent that the elderly couple behind me were hard of hearing, could not discern the movie going experience from their living room television experience, and were going to explain the movie to each other (?) throughout the running time. I knew it was time to nip this in the bud. I told the guy that I didn't drop ten bucks to listen to a description of the movie while I watched it. I politely asked if they could shut they fuck up. They did, which says a lot for the Greatest Generation. And here's one, post-move: 4) I attended LA Screamfest in the summer of '03 in Santa Monica. Spending all day watching horror classics on the big screen was pure bliss for one such as myself. The only mar on the day was the group of teens who came into Night of the Living Dead halfway through, sat directly behind me in the mostly-empty movie theater and proceeded to discuss the day's events. I asked if they were planning to talk throughout the ENTIRE movie, or just this part? To their credit, they fell silent and watched the film. I like the circus atmosphere of watching Jet Li movies at midnight in a shabby neighborhood grindhouse as much as the next film geek. But yes... I keep my distance from weekend shows in the valley for a good reason.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:35 p.m. CST

    I had some teens in a movie

    by Kloipy

    talk nonstop in internet lingo ie; LOL, BRB, shit like that. That is something that makes me want to pull my fucking head off

  • April 20, 2007, 1:36 p.m. CST

    The studios are contributing to this problem

    by amrisharmpit

    One of the earlier Talkbackers (MovieManager, I think) mentioned this, but it needs to be said again. Not long ago, I read an article which explained how the franchise blockbusters (Spidey, Shrek, Potter, Pirates, etc.) are a major burden on theaters. For one thing, theaters are obligated to "block book" these films on multiple screens and extra showtimes, meaning many more patrons coming through the doors, meaning the experience becomes something like a crowded amusement park. In addition, the enormous budgets of these films means the studios have to keep a larger share of the box-office just to recoup their costs. That leaves a smaller profit for theaters, which leaves less money to hire staff (ushers) and make upgrades or repairs. And finally, the shrinking window between release date and DVD means there is less incentive for people to go to theaters and less incentive for theaters to care who does. If fingers need to be pointed, then it should start with the studios.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:47 p.m. CST

    SILENCIO, PENDEJO!!

    by occula

    i was in a bad mood this morning. i am now in a good mood from reading this TB. someday, the day may come when you guys open a newspaper and the headline reads, 'woman, 30s, commits theatre genocide armed only with red vines', and you'll know it was me. bravo, quint et al!

  • April 20, 2007, 1:48 p.m. CST

    Theater's should hire bouncers.

    by skycrapper

    That way the skinny nerd movie manager in his coat and tie would actually have a way to get the punk asses out of the theaters.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:48 p.m. CST

    I agree 100%

    by Atomik Steve

    I'm surprised it took this long for an AICN staffer to write something like this. The best way to retaliate is with your wallet. Boycott any theatres that don't enforce their policies. Give your business to the theatres that deserve it. Also, I agree with whoever said to teach your kids to behave so that it may rub off on their friends.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:49 p.m. CST

    Best talkback ever!!

    by ltrain109

    I have been reading this site for years and I have never posted anything. I feel so strongly about this however that here I go! I am in my thirties and I have been a huge movie fan for years. All though my teens and twenties I would sometimes hit 3 or 4 new movies a week. Just everything that came out good or bad. As a teenager I shut my pie hole and enjoyed the flick. Now as an adult I have a movie theater room, with a 110 inch screen and better sound and picture than most theaters but I still have to wait for the DVD and no matter what you miss the energy of opening night. On Christmas 2006 I took my wife and inlaws to a PG movie. The young couple behind me would not shut up and were dropping the F bomb every 5 words. I repeatedly asked them to be quite and they repeatedly ignored me. TAlking about whatever at full volume. I attempted to enlist thoes around us by bringin them into the conversation. ie "I bet this gentleman next to you would like to hear the movie" but no one would back me up. Eventually I headed for the manager and unbeknownst to me the kid came out behind me to start something. The manager was worthless and when the kid showed up the manager was visible scared. However while he was kicking my seat the 6ft 180lb kid hadn't realized that I am 6'5" and 240lbs. Threat of physical violence finally shut him up. After he kicked my chair, my mother in laws chair, cussed us out and threw stuff at us. And what did the theater do? They gave us rain checks so we could relive it all over again! Merry Christmas! If DVD's came out in tandem with theatrical releases I would never see another movie in a theater.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:53 p.m. CST

    Occula

    by Kloipy

    They found the patrons eyes had been removed and replaced with milk duds. Also Ltrain, can I come watch movies at your place? Damn, that sounds like a sweet set up

  • April 20, 2007, 1:54 p.m. CST

    BSB I feel you on that

    by Kloipy

    i didn't come to the the theater to spend my whole damn check.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:58 p.m. CST

    They can charge more or less

    by Fecal Debris

    but if the candy isn't less than what they're charging at the discount store next door, then THAT's where I'm gettin' the Swedish Fish, bitch

  • April 20, 2007, 1:58 p.m. CST

    Staffing issues...

    by seanny_d

    I worked at a movie theatre as an usher for nearly 6 years. From the time I was 15 to 21. And throughout those years, we tried terribly hard to counter talking. And there are many people in the place that are serious about it. The problem is that we are forced to do so many other things as well, it becomes harder to keep an eye on it. <p>Our primary responsibility was to make sure the theatres were clean. To maintain an overall cleanliness of the place for when people come in. Leaving less opportunity to send people in to theatres to check on noisy patrons. <p>Things have recently gotten worse. i no longer work there, but still know many people that do. And since Michigan raised minimum wage over $1.50 an hour, the staff has been cut back DRAMATICALLY. People are complaining they can barely do their cleanings, let alone take care of watching potentially noisy patrons. I just think the upper level needs to be more serious about it and make sure that the EXPERIENCE itself is intact. The people there have absolutely no problem kicking people out that they know are guilty, but there's just barely enough time to wait around for the guilty to incriminate themselves. With more resources, or a shift in policy that makes theatre environment #1, there could be a significant decrease in this issue.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:58 p.m. CST

    Here's the problem with that, Quint

    by Talkbacker with no name

    Cinema staff are mostly people at uni and it's really not worth their time (or health) confronting talkers. I worked as a projectionist for 5 years and have seen many a member of the public or staff member punched in the face for telling someone to be quiet. <p>the only way I see of sloving this problem is to get a big security dude in every screening. But yeah you are right. No talking would bring people back to the cinema. I go on early week day mornings now when there are a few jobless people there. Almost empty most times...ah bliss.

  • April 20, 2007, 1:59 p.m. CST

    it's like

    by Kloipy

    Did the soda your selling pour out of God's eyes? No? Then don't charge me 25 dollars for a small!

  • April 20, 2007, 2:02 p.m. CST

    Quint, Respect

    by Killaarmy

    Just for arguments sake. The lack of respect your movie 'neighbors' showed similar respect for your movie going experience as you have shown the aintitcoolnews contest submitters in the yet to be finalized Rocky contest (never mind Superman).

  • April 20, 2007, 2:02 p.m. CST

    Come on over

    by ltrain109

    Kloipy. Your welcome to use come watch movies whenever you want. Just shut up while your here and the popcorn is free.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:05 p.m. CST

    Awesome Ltrain!

    by Kloipy

    don't worry, I'm a mute anyway

  • April 20, 2007, 2:10 p.m. CST

    They come in all colors and race, nice and not so nice.

    by JDanielP

    In all my rude experiences, nearly all were white folks. It mostly depends on where you live and your local economy and how race populations come into play. So we should just keep race out of it. There are so many intangibles at play in the development of personalities, no matter what race or economic standard. Race should not be part of this discussion. Now, ...kick the rude people out, no matter what color or social standing. Out. For good.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Ssssssshhhh Killaarmy!

    by Talkbacker with no name

    I'm trying to read talkbacks about the subject in hand. If you want to talk about something else then please leave or I'll call the manager!

  • April 20, 2007, 2:13 p.m. CST

    The A.D.D /O.D.D Generation....

    by magnetoelectric

    ...Where nothing is more important than "me".Everyone from 2 to 60 needs a good "shutthefuckup" every now and again.To me(I could be wrong)It all boils down to a generational gap.Even my most obnoxious, drunken peers exercise etiquette in public places.The parent here who chose to reinforce abhorrent behavior isnt all that suprising either..The 30 somethings today live vicariously through their children in a different way than our parents did.Our fathers did it through little league,these people now do it by trying to make their children listen to the Punk they did in the eighties and give the 2 year old son a Mowhawk and a kilt.What Toby Wan is describing sounds a lot like "Soccer riot" mentality.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:14 p.m. CST

    In addition to Quint's great point...

    by thenatureboy

    is the fact that a person can now stay at home and watch a movie in superior quality in HD. Let me know when theaters start shelling out the cash and buying HD projectors and I'll be the first in line.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:17 p.m. CST

    Enemy #1...The Cell Phone

    by Homer Sexual

    Currently, that is what makes me skip movies...the jerks talking on or playing on their cell phones. It has the bonus of annoying light as well as sound. <p> Rudeness knows no socioeconomic group, either. My main three theaters are the Magic Johnson (in the hood), Culver City (middle class) and Century City (upscale) and the exact same problems occur at all of them. <p> A phenomenon I've frequently observed is that horror movies bring out tons of babies and small children. The most of anything outside of animation, I'd guess (I never, ever, go see animated movies in the theater because I understand they are for families and I can't stand babies in the theater). Anything with Chucky is the worst....probably 50% of the audience is under 12. <p> I actually used to work in the AMC Century City here in LA, and the managers were jerks, same old "time to lean, time to clean" and the conditions were awful, but generally the management is responsive to complaints.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:17 p.m. CST

    I'll never understand the mentality

    by Fecal Debris

    of someone who pays $8 for a movie (or $50-100 for a concert ticket) only to get there and fiddle with their cell phone or dingleberry and draw attention to themselves, even if it isn't so loud. It's just distracting and ruins it for others who want their money's worth. This is partly why I bootleg concerts and torrent them for free. It's already expensive, so if I'm paying that much, I'm walking out with the show, and I'm gonna share it (no, I'm not one of those silly ass movie pirates or whatever they're called).

  • April 20, 2007, 2:19 p.m. CST

    War Stories

    by VideoVorlon

    I was watching Quest for Fire, and a mother was sitting in front of me, explaining each and every scene to her 8 year old daughter. I was at the Astor Plaza in Times Square watching Young Sherlock Holmes, when an usher got into it with a patron, and argued with him in a loud voice, during the last 10 minutes of the film.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:19 p.m. CST

    LOL BSB!

    by Kloipy

    we pledge allegience to he who walks between the rows!

  • April 20, 2007, 2:23 p.m. CST

    I Can't Believe That Stupid DJ!!

    by Cheif Brody

    I used to work at a WB affiliate TV station....and we would get sneak preview passes to all the upcoming Warner Bros. Pictures releases...usually partnered with a local radio station. We'd all get to make a speech before the movie started..."welcome to the movie"...etc...But NO ONE ever said...this movie's FREE so be tolerant about noisy kids and talking!! Rather, we would all stress that everyone set their cells to the OFF position...and to be quiet during the movie and remove unruly kids immediately. A rep from WB would be on hand as well, and she would say that there are local newspaper critics in the theater WORKING...(whether there actually were any in attendance or not) and they need complete silence to do their jobs. She also said..."If someone makes a complaint about your noise level...you will NOT be warned...you will be REMOVED. You did not pay to see this movie...so we have no problem in kicking you out without warning. Now...Enjoy the show". We almost never had any problems at any of our screenings. The occasion cell phone ring...but that's about it. I also like the secret "call" button to the manager on the seat....however...I think it would be even more of a distraction to the film if everyone began abusing the use of the button...or accidentally pressing it...and a manager or usher were bounding into the theater with a flashlight every 5 seconds. Plus, getting a large theater chain to retro fit all their theaters with these new buttons would be costly and impractical. I blame the emmergence of DVD's into homes...people act differently at home....they talk over the movie....take telephone calls....and they get conditioned when they get to a REAL movie theater...that it's ok to do these things. It's NOT...but unfortunately...I think that movie theater ettiquette is becoming a lost cause because of home theaters.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:27 p.m. CST

    my war story

    by occula

    since everybody's allowed to have one in this marvelously unified TB...during 'sleepy hollow' at a theatre in pasadena, a dude was talking and talking and talking. fucking loudly. all the shushing wasn't making any difference. then, he started a fight with his girlfriend during the crux of the plot, so i missed what was being said. so, in a blind fury, i stood up and threw my drink at them. then, i shit you not, he had a seizure and was removed from the theatre. i, however, somehow escaped attention, despite the fact that i potentially and allegedly caused the seizure. i also magically escaped what i'm sure would have been an ass-beating, but the event of the seizure sort of superceded that. however, it doesn't negate the fact that i went so far as to throw the drink! my husband's variation on that story is he's decided to bring baseballs in a backpack into theatres and throw them at talkers. only marginally more violent than my solution!

  • April 20, 2007, 2:34 p.m. CST

    WHAT!!!!!

    by Kloipy

    hahahaha that's the funniest thing I've heard today. Could you imagine if he died? because of a soda

  • April 20, 2007, 2:35 p.m. CST

    i know, right?

    by occula

    i probably would have felt badly about it. but not badly enough NOT to tell people i'd done it! wow, i'm a horrible person, aren't i.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:36 p.m. CST

    RIGHT ON QUINT!

    by captain_kirk

    I have a lot of peeves. People don't appreciate acting properly in public anymore. I have had to deal with annoying talkers. I have had to deal with annoying talkers pissed that I bumped their cup of courvoisier that they snuck in. I hate low volume, and I HATE OUT OF FOCUS PICTURES. But what I hate most of all is being the one person who dives a damn enough to get up and REPEATEDLY tell those high school acne snots to fix the damn situation.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:36 p.m. CST

    not really

    by Kloipy

    at least he'd never talk in a movie again

  • April 20, 2007, 2:38 p.m. CST

    rcezekie

    by Boondock Devil

    Couldn't agree with you more. The opening scene to ATHF SHOULD be played before every movie just because of how wickedly awesome it was.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:39 p.m. CST

    thx kloipy.

    by occula

    red vines and milk duds all 'round!

  • April 20, 2007, 2:44 p.m. CST

    The nerds are on the attack!

    by Javeyjoe

    It's awesome to see everyone all riled up. Complete unity. I'd like to see a list, maybe a contest, for the all time craziest theater experience. Your story's are absolutely off the wall compared to what we get in Canada. We saw Grindhouse on opening weekend 9:00 show and it was like being at a David Suzuki lecture. We're so polite, eh? Then again I never go to a theater in a mall but isn't that common sense?

  • April 20, 2007, 2:45 p.m. CST

    Quint, I've called the Waaaaahmbulance and....

    by Err

    I'm playing my violin for you.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:51 p.m. CST

    I suppose what's changed is...

    by Fecal Debris

    ...as decades pass, there's simply MORE movies to watch, and the process of making movies gets more commercialized. The 20yr olds who attend movies now never lived in a world without VHS home movies. They've always known the luxury of having friends over on a weekend and renting a couple movies. So now we've got a culture of young adults who grew up thinking that the behavior they're accustomed to in their living rooms is okay at the local cinema, but it's not. I'm approaching middle age, so it was a very big deal when you could go to a local video store and rent a movie that had been in a theater a year earlier, instead of having to wait three years to see it on ABC Sunday night movies. In other words, geeks my age grew up with some reverence for the art. Not so today, these damn punks, fuckem

  • April 20, 2007, 2:55 p.m. CST

    The work day is ending

    by Kloipy

    Keep fighting the good fight! We'll stop them.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:56 p.m. CST

    Good for you, Err.

    by Zarles

    I hope the Waahmbulance runs your ass over.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:58 p.m. CST

    A support group for abused cinemagoers

    by ilander66

    I have read this site for years and years and have never wanted to comment so much on a topic so I had to register! I like many others here have some many horror stories regarding terrible cinema experiences..... the child making monkey noises all through planet of the apes...a couple discussing what a nasty man magneto was EVERY FUCKING TIME he said or did something....and the people who have no inner thoughts and have to say EVERYTHING THEY SEE ON THE SCREEN OUT LOUD ' heh heh hes got a gun' 'oh that was a funny joke' 'oh look hes going into a house now' ZERO TOLERANCE is the way forward shut the fuck up people just for the good of the world SHUT.......THE......FUCK...UP

  • April 20, 2007, 2:58 p.m. CST

    Zarles...

    by Err

    Zarles: Hi. --- Waiter: Name? --- Zarles: Bitter, party of one.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:58 p.m. CST

    This is one reason that Columbus, Ohio is great.

    by Antonius

    We have the Arena Grand theater. It is privately owned and operated. If you make noise during the movie, there is an usher next to you in fifteen seconds telling you to shut the fuck up. If you do it again, your ass is gone from the theater with the assistance of an Ohio State Highway Patrol Officer.

  • April 20, 2007, 2:59 p.m. CST

    in honor of our TB

    by occula

    i'm getting back to work so i can make enough money to afford to build a screening room at my house, and while i work i've put in one of the best 'revenge-best-served-cold' movies ever for inspiration, 'intolerable cruelty.'

  • April 20, 2007, 3:13 p.m. CST

    Hmmmm...

    by Traumnovelle

    I'm in a really weird spot over this subject. I think softly talking and joking is MORE than fine, IF the movie calls for it. Grindhouse....Slither....Hostel......just a few recent ones that were infinitely more fun when you blather back and forth with a good friend or whatever. And if people are going to see these movies with the intention of sitting silently and studying the shots and the credit fonts, go fuck yourselves. Honestly. Have fun. Thats what these kind of movies were MADE for. You think your gods Tarantino and Rodriguez wanted the crowds to sit silently in Grindhouse? Nahhh. They wanted laughing and shouting and whooping and hollering. And Quint....come on. You even sounded annoyed that they were talking during a preview for fucking Resident Evil 3. Who CARES? Its a fucking PREVIEW for fucking RESIDENT EVIL 3! The lights aren't even down in the theater yet. No, talking during previews is more than ok. It is encouraged, even. Make jokes about how bad a movie looks, or how insanely cool a movie looks. Its not the feature length experience. Thats being kinda gay about it Quint. For reals. But back to what i was saying. You just have to be smart about it. Silent moments are NOT the cue to talk. I hate THAT shit. When people think a dramatic silent moment is the right time to mention something to their friend. Also, dont be a moron. Dont giggle when a native american blows smoke at Colin Farrel's face in New World, cause it reminds you of smoking weed with your buddies, and don't talk when Bilbo is picking up the ring in Gollum's cave in Fellowship because you think he doesn't look like Bilbo should look, and don't talk when the Spruce Goose is becoming airborne toward the end of Aviator. These incidents happened to me. Each time i told the people to shut the fuck up. Angrily. And they did. And that's another thing. Another major reason talking is a problem for a lot of people is that alot of people are too godamned passive aggressive to say anything. They squirm around and sooooorta-kinda make an annoyed glance at the people talking or kind of cough or exhale loudly or something. If it annoys you, don't be a bitch. Turn around and stand up and tell them to shut their fucking mouths. Now, i'm not BOASTING or anything, i'm not that much of a douche, but i am 6'2 and 220 pounds and i lift weights religiously, so i kind of admittedly have an easier time with this. But still. Pull a knife of something if you have to. Just say something. So i guess my point is, talk if the movie is campy or flat out bad, shut your trap if it's a genuinely great picture. And have enough good taste in movies to be able to tell the difference. Vacancy looks kind of neat.

  • April 20, 2007, 3:15 p.m. CST

    the worst

    by rdsxfan8

    is when you get that one obnoxious person who during a horror movie screams at the screen "bitch dont open that door" " I told you not to open that door" this has actually happened to me a few times. theres always some random douche bag who thinks if they yell loud enough at the screen, it will change the outcome of the film. thats why im glad i work and odd shift and am able to go the the matinee showings of movies , where noone is there but me ad I get to see movies at a reasonable price with lil or no distractions.

  • April 20, 2007, 3:25 p.m. CST

    other theatre issues

    by AmericanMovieFan

    the most annoying theatre going experience ever for me, at least in my recent memory, would be when i snuck into dreamgirls. (yes, i snuck in. i was theatre hopping that night...so sue me.) i can't remember what i'd seen first, but i snuck in and watched Dreamgirls, then from there I went and saw Letters From Iwo Jima. I don't remember what I actually paid to watch, though...ha.) Anyway, while i was in Dreamgirls, for any of you who saw it, there was some really emotional scene with Eddie Murphy and his character's drug habits and all kinds of sad shit going on...and these motherfuckers were laughing. A mother, a father, and their 15 year old kid. The parents had to be at least in their 40's or early 50's, the kid in his teens. And they looked like WASPY, white bread motherfuckers. Now, I realize not all movie goers, in fact, most, are not movie geeks and go to be entertained and don't take the art form all that seriously....but laughing at a guy who is in the depth's of depression and addiction? what the fuck is wrong with this world? those are some bad offenders, but i've seen others. it's just ridiculous. Some guy was holelring at the screen when I went to see Disturbia and nobody said shit, so finally i stood up and screamed 'Shut the fuck up!'. Nobody applauded or anything, cause I was at a fucking AMC theatre in Emeryville, CA...which means the lowest common denominator of a crowd was there with me. I dunno...I'm ranting and raving here, but god I love this talk back.

  • April 20, 2007, 3:34 p.m. CST

    For the very first time in my life here is a topic that

    by emeraldboy

    we are all in agreement with all. Yup including me. I hate this type of thing. You would never think this happens in Dublin, Ireland But it does. Those bloody 15 years with thier bloody mobile phone...arrgggh. Especially the ones at the back. Are they fucking dense. It has just said on the fucking screen to turn off your fucking mobile phones. I once saw Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind in my local cinema and when Carrey opened his mouth, the two auld ones started to laugh. Eternal Sunshine isnt a comedy. ET's 20th anniversary was when ruined a group of toughs brought cans into theatre and sat through the entire drinking away. Hannibal was 15 movie, two twits, thirteen, who should not have been permitted, crept in. One of them turns to me and says: 'ere, mistah, if we get caught, like, can we we say were with you. Crisp bag rattling used to piss my mother. We saw the golden child. That is tough my mother was. The great offenders are the ones. who stay to watch the full movie and run round the entire cinema , bringing their friends with them and when they do leave, I am like fuck off and dont come back. where these dense fucks are worse are dramas. especially at the most pivotal of the movie. or there are the ones who whisper loud enough and you can hear them say" ah, yeah, I knew it was him, yeah". Well I didnt.

  • April 20, 2007, 3:35 p.m. CST

    You know what happens if you enforce. . .

    by jtishere

    The guy who gets noisy and escorted out by the usher ends up saying he was "bullied." Next he kills himself and the 32 people next to him. Then the shrinks go on Larry King and blame the usher for being such a mean bully.

  • April 20, 2007, 3:38 p.m. CST

    For Scorekeeper

    by dlhoskins03

    Then you, oh mighty and wise one, tell us common peons of the movie theater business how to stop people from talking. As I said before, I do extra walkthroughs on movies that have a high number of teenagers in them. I make it a note to remember the people that I have had trouble with in the past. So would you like armed guards at the front and back of the room. Or how about a nice sensor in each seat that lets a maganger know that that person is talking and at the push of a button send out an electric shock to that seat.

  • April 20, 2007, 3:39 p.m. CST

    As a Canadian I can honestly say

    by COLONBLOW07

    ...we have exactly the same soul-crushing fucksticks up here. Home theater and the torrents are the way to go. End of Line.

  • April 20, 2007, 3:45 p.m. CST

    Really, COLONBLOW07?

    by Javeyjoe

    Maybe I don't go to enough movies or just luck out. Where're you at?

  • April 20, 2007, 3:45 p.m. CST

    Wow

    by magnetoelectric

    Theres some serious war stories going on here.I feel like I should confess,Ive been on the other end of this once.During Saw,when he was sawing his leg off,then he threw the saw all "nerr!"-I bust out laughing.It really pissed off the guy in front of me.I felt bad and apologized.Im sorry if I ruined guys movie going experience.It just came out of nowhere,and burst out of me before I could stop myself

  • April 20, 2007, 3:46 p.m. CST

    Seriously, though . . .

    by jtishere

    I was in a nearly vacant theatre a number of years ago watching some movie, the title of which I forget. A lady in my row and about 12 seats over plops her three-year-old onto the ground, pulls his pants down and has him urinate right there on the theatre floor. I guess she was too busy watching the movie to take the kid to the restroom.

  • April 20, 2007, 3:51 p.m. CST

    People I avoid sitting near in a theater - in no order

    by Jugdish

    Old people, Black people,groups of teenagers..especially teenage girls,- Is this racial profiling? I don't think so but I know that I have less issues when I choose not to attend films near these people. Sad state of affairs - but its true.

  • April 20, 2007, 3:52 p.m. CST

    Javeyjoe

    by COLONBLOW07

    Winnipeg. All we've got now are those stupid multiplex theaters. Man, we used to have a ton of good theaters here. Actually I shouldn't bitch too much. I went to see Grindhouse on opening day at Noon and the theater was maybe 1/4 full. Good geek crowd. Laughed at all the right parts, funny smart ass comments. A good time.

  • April 20, 2007, 3:56 p.m. CST

    If you find yourself wanting to yell STFU, just leave.

    by Pound Sand

    Especially if you are watching Oldboy. There are just way too many loose nuts out there, and it's just not worth it. It's not whether you are bigger, or stronger, or more intimidating. It's about who is crazier, or willing to push it further. Don't be that person.

  • April 20, 2007, 4 p.m. CST

    Thank you, Quint!

    by NuteG

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting that rant. It totally sums up what wrecks screenings for me.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:02 p.m. CST

    Never really had any problems

    by magnetozx

    I've never really had any problems like this at theaters, and I go out to the movies 30-40 times a year. I live in Los Angeles, and generally go to late evening shows (~10:30 pm) on opening weekend. The crowds I get are usually college kids. So yeah, I feel for you guys. But I'm glad I don't have to deal with this stuff.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:03 p.m. CST

    COLONBLOW07

    by Javeyjoe

    I'm in Vancouver. Like I say, I avoid mall theaters like the plague. When I saw Grindhouse on opening night I felt slightly self-conscious because I was laughing (appropriately) when no one else was. It was fun but kind of weird and the theater was packed.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:05 p.m. CST

    Spiderman 2 too

    by Capytalium

    I think the problem raised by Quint exists also in France, and there is no differents, loud talkings , cell phones etc... except maybe less theater managment... I remember the Spiderman 2 Showing in Monte-Carlo (not France of course but close)where my girl and I went seated in the front rows in a half-filled showing room, and in the back rows at least seven 12 yrs olds kids talked all the time through the movie commenting at what was on the screen, I was pretty in much into the film despite that, but my girl what upset 5 minutes after opening credits, some guy next to the kids tried to midly voice them down whith absolutly no effects. My wife resisted to intervin until MJ run in the bride robe toward the end of the movie, the kids commented on that and then... Well she stand up ran up to the back rows to the kids, grabded the plastic seat you put in the chairs for kiddies, stored at the entrance and rudly beat the shit out of the talking kids... shouting this time "please no ma'am its not us" shit... the audience was in a shock. Well, I took my sorry ass out of the chair and came to her but she already left the room to seek for cinema staff. The audience had applaud her and her courage to stand, but she wasn't there to witness that, I gave at the kids a sorry look as I left the room to meet her. When I finally found her she was even more in distress as she found out that NO managment people where in the cinema at all, just empty. Also she as mad cause the Men (I includ myself) in the room didn't dare to stand at some point. Well, I was mad at her cause I couldn't watch the end of the movies (until the DVD) Now we are no more together but still have a good laugh recalling that night. As a souvenir a offered her a DVD copy of the movie. Spidey 3 is soon out and I for sure will see it with her. She, for sure, had to fight for her right to watch the movie peacefully.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:07 p.m. CST

    Pound Sand...

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    shut the fuck up!!!

  • April 20, 2007, 4:08 p.m. CST

    Last time I told some people to quieten down...

    by Cameron1

    the threatened to stab me. Four scummy fuck chavs would not stop talking and looking at their really fucking tacky phones that lit up the auditorium. This was in Blood Diamond too so any time a racila slur was uttered they pissed themselves laughing, anyway, I say "can you keep it down lads" and they look at me like I'm asking them if they want a blowjob. They turn back and start up again so I say "shut the fuck up we're trying watch the film" this got them real mad and one cunt says he'll "fucking cut you up outside" I'm just about to get the management when one of this black woman stands up and twats him right in the face. Fucking applause erupt from everyone else and the four of them leg it out the cinema. That's very nearly my greatest cinema going experience of my life. It's fucking terrible in london nearly everywhere you go unless it's a smaller place or a major Leicester Square one but then tickets are 15 quid a time. And staff really aren't paid enough a mate of mine used to work at a UCI and he'd frequently have to clear up large drink cups full of piss. People are animals.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:09 p.m. CST

    Right on, Err. Just you against the world.

    by Zarles

    I hope the world runs your ass over, too.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:09 p.m. CST

    Capytalium

    by Javeyjoe

    Is this a bad translation or did your ex literally start hitting rowdy kids with a piece of furniture? That's some seriously bad-ass shit.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:11 p.m. CST

    Javeyjoe

    by COLONBLOW07

    Oh Jesus, that reminds me of sitting in a packed theater watching American Psycho and being the only one besides my friend who were laughing. I've never seen so many walk-outs, except during the James Spader/ Ninja Turtle guy make out scene in Cronenberg's Crash.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:16 p.m. CST

    James Spader/ Ninja Turtle guy make out scene

    by Javeyjoe

    Really, I left to go masturbate in the john, it was so hot.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:16 p.m. CST

    Great posts. Still I have to give props to...

    by mrfan

    some people that go to the theaters. You meet some of the most fantastic, nice, and generous people. Have to show some love to those that already know how to act in the theater. My hat is off to them.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:17 p.m. CST

    James Spader/ Ninja Turtle guy make out scene

    by Javeyjoe

    Really? It was so hot I left to go masturbate in the john.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:18 p.m. CST

    Javeyjoe

    by Capytalium

    No, no, it is literally, she beats them with the plastic seat. She went nut you know, she went into the row and beat every single one of them... literally... (sorry for the poor spelling and grammar btw)

  • April 20, 2007, 4:20 p.m. CST

    Capytalium

    by Javeyjoe

    Then you sir, have the best story on this thread and should win a prize...Spider-man 2.1 DVD perhaps?

  • April 20, 2007, 4:27 p.m. CST

    Javeyjoe

    by Capytalium

    Oh, thank you, it is my pleasure to share it with all of you. I already got my hands on the 2.1 edition thanks, free Spider-man 3 ticket for my ex would be neat.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:28 p.m. CST

    Don't forget the petition!

    by moviemecca

    Sign the petition and let's stop these flagrant fucks! http://tinyurl.com/25mg8n

  • April 20, 2007, 4:29 p.m. CST

    All I have to do is this

    by Boondock Devil

    Whenever I go out to a movie I'm usually there with my buddy. He's a nice chicano gentleman about 6'5 near 300 lbs covered in tattoos and a gigantic spike piercing coming out of his chin. When he tells someone to be quiet they usually stay quiet. Then I get to enjoy wonderful movies like the Grudge 2. Only I guess it's not that wonderful...

  • April 20, 2007, 4:31 p.m. CST

    ARCLIGHT SHOULD LOSE THE RESERVED SEATING

    by Charles Grady

    As others have said, you still get occasional talkers and texters at the Arclight, especially now that the generic average LA moviegoers have discovered it on weekends. Which is why I wish they'd do away with the ASSIGNED SEATING. For the unaware, when you buy your tickets, you are asked "WHERE DO YOU WANT TO SIT?" The proper answer ought to be, "Away from anyone who's going to talk during the show." But obviously you don't know this till you get in there and see who you've been SEATED NEXT TO. Nothing like buying those 14 dollar tickets, then shuffling in to find out you've been ASSIGNED-SEATED next to a smelly Los Feliz hipster couple nuzzling and making out, or a guy with restless leg, or a snoring fat guy. Generally I like to walk into an auditorium and pick slightly off-kilter seats a ways down and away from any potential troublemakers, or ideally, anyone. At the Arclight, you don't have a choice, especially when it's crowded. At any other theater, you could just get up and move, but at the ARCLIGHT you're held hostage by the reserved seating system, which mainly exists for the benefit of Johnny Come Latelys who aren't serious moviegoers, anyway. I've never understood, really, why people prefer a DEAD-CENTER SEAT near a lot of people over an off-to-the-side up-close seat with no one in the entire row.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:35 p.m. CST

    bongo123

    by Quin the Eskimo

    I want to go to the movies with you. When I went to see Kill Bill vol 2 the guy sitting in front of me (in a 1/5) full theater was the king of the mouth breathers. To make it worse his wife kept on expressing her disgust with him and his taste of movies every time something happened. ( a curse or something), constant unceasing bitching, I kid you not... I HAD HAD IT, SO I UNZIPPED MY PANTS AND URINATED ALL OVER THEM. Not really, but I wanted to.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:35 p.m. CST

    move to sacramento

    by Fabulous Freak

    where you tell somebody to shut the fuck up and they do because they think you'll shoot them.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:35 p.m. CST

    moviemecca

    by Capytalium

    already did! Hope it helps

  • April 20, 2007, 4:41 p.m. CST

    FUCKIN' A MAN!!!!!

    by Doc_Strange

    I have to agree that is why I also hate going to the movies now, just the sheer number of people talking while you're trying to enjy the movie, not to mention crying kids who shouldn't be there in the first place and overall ticket prices are just too high to have to deal with that kind of SHIT!!! I'm curious about the Drafthouse. I've never really thought much about it even after all the plugging from the reviewers on here. Wouldn't it be awesome if they opened a few over here in L.A.? Hell I've been wondering why they don't serve food at the movies now? It just seems like it would be a natural progression after 100 years or so. Also the fact that they don't allow distractions? though I wonder if small kids are allowed, I would make it a policy about there being an age limit 5 and up. Can one of the mods jump in on this? Are there any expansion plans for other major cities?

  • April 20, 2007, 4:41 p.m. CST

    Late sneaking-in people: as bad as talking?

    by Charles Grady

    Talking is really the worst, but I also have a special hate for the people who sneak in (obviously from another theater) when the movie is almost half-over. Even if they don't talk, it's distracting and frustrating as hell: Like, look, I know your cheap ass wants to prolong the moviegoing experience, but what really are you getting out of slipping into a theater to watch the last 17 minutes of PAN'S LABYRINTH? What could you POSSIBLY gain from that, in terms of appreciation or enjoyment? This happens CONSTANTLY, which is why I wish there were more standalone theaters instead of multiplexes. Around Christmas, I was watching the Iraq War drama HOME OF THE BRAVE when, at the 70-MINUTE MARK, two Latina teenage girls sneaked in (from CHARLOTTE'S WEB) for twenty minutes, long enough to talk, giggle and ruin the movie, then slipped out, probably to go sample a reel of something else.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:43 p.m. CST

    You should do what I do...

    by Childe Roland

    ...when the asshole behind you refuses to shut up during a movie: Gas 'em.<p>See, I've been blessed with a gastrointestinal disorder that makes my bodily emissions among the most foul smelling on the planet (perhaps in the universe). Over the years, I've developed amazing control over this power. I can hold one in almost indefinitely. But the longer I hold it, the worse it's going to smell. And popcorn is the perfect fuel.<p>I had a group of teenagers talking to each other and then on cell phones during one of the Spidey 2 screenings I took in. I asked them to quiet down. They did for a couple of seconds, then snickered and laughed (at me) quietly until their confidence returned and they went into full-on conversation again.<p>I then said a little more emphatically that they should really shut up and watch the movie. One of the girls in the group asked "Or what? You gonna make us?" and her boyfirend said something to the effect of "Touch me and my dad will sue you for child abuse."<p>Admittedly, at the time the threat of legal action seemed like a price worth paying to wring the little turd's neck. But then I had a better idea. I bent over and let loose the juicy air biscuit that had been building in my lower intestine since finishing off my popcorn and Pepsi earlier in the film.<p>This one was so bad, it even made my eyes water.<p>Their laughter (probably inspired by seeing a grown man bend over in front of them and spread his butt cheeks through his trousers) soon turned to horrified gasps, choking sounds and even wretching. They were gone seconds later and, a few minutes after that, the smell had dissipated.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:45 p.m. CST

    Food?

    by Son of Hades

    Wait, what's this about "snuck in food"? Your (I'm from the UK) multiplexes don't let you take food into screenings?

  • April 20, 2007, 4:47 p.m. CST

    Fabulous Freak

    by Quin the Eskimo

    I want to hurt the Ambercrombies in Roseville, bad. Especially at the movies.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:48 p.m. CST

    Zarles...

    by Err

    Yeah, this world's gonna run me over. Great comeback. Do you find a new word and then just post "runs your ass over" after it? Do you go, "Right on, Err, everybody is against you and I hope everybody runs your ass over." How pathetic.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:49 p.m. CST

    Childe Roland...

    by Boondock Devil

    You are a bloody genuis. As long as you'd keep that up I'd buy the tickets, popcorn, and the gas masks for whatever movie. Tip of the cap to you, sir.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:50 p.m. CST

    Son of Hades

    by Boondock Devil

    It's a pretty loose rule around here usually. Lots of people would rather sneak in their own stuff instead of paying a ton of cash for the same thing.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:51 p.m. CST

    Man, the Alamo Drafthouse

    by COLONBLOW07

    sounds like the bee's nuts. Should be one in every city.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:53 p.m. CST

    Thanks, Capytalium!

    by moviemecca

    This is not going to go away overnight. I am dead serious and plan on getting the local papers and radio stations involved. I'm not just some geek with too much time on his hands and no follow through; I am a dedicated movie lover who has had enough of people abusing the magic of going to the movies. Remember when it was magic? Buying your ticket, getting popcorn and sodas, people actually shutting up when the lights went down...It's not too late to bring the magic back. Sign the petition and let's work together to make a difference!

  • April 20, 2007, 4:53 p.m. CST

    Talking during movies is okay...

    by Err

    One film: Snakes on a Plane. --- The fact that people talked in the film and cheered and said lines with Sam Jackson made the movie worthwhile. It was great.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:55 p.m. CST

    Nay, Boondock Devil...

    by Childe Roland

    ...I am but a humble vessel for the gaseous wrath of the movie loving gods.<p>I've also used this method to dissuade folks from smoking near me in public places.

  • April 20, 2007, 4:58 p.m. CST

    I love you Quint

    by Miller Mortuary

    In that "brotherly" love kinda way. I don't get road rage, but boy do I get theater rage. You hit the nail on the head about declining ticket sales and their relation to disruptive people in theaters. As much as I love movies, it's a big reason why I don't see theatrical releases as much as I used to. Not only is talking a huge problem, but there's also kicking the seats, text messaging and talking on the phone during the movies. I've had the misfortune of being at a screening in Sacramento (at Century Arden) where a guy's phone rang, he answered, said he was in a movie, and started telling the story of the movie to the person on the other end of the line. It's amazing, and it really is the theater management that's to blame. I've often had Death Wish-like fantasies of horrible violence against people talking during the movies, which doesn't really help my movie experience. Thanks Quint for speaking the truth.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:03 p.m. CST

    Been going to this site for years...

    by drewlicious

    and this very article alone shook me into such a fervor that I created an account just to vent my vitriolic rage. I worked for a theater chain in Nebraska for over 3 years and I've been living in California for quite a while now and I can safely say that the source of this problem comes more from the audience than the theaters themselves. I was paid minimum wage and eventually earned a paltry .15 cent raise for my dedicaton but I still did my job mainly because a content customer is not in my face all the time, a miserable customer on the other hand will make my day a living hell. This was a relatively small theater so there was no avoiding them. And most of the complaints were sensible, if someone was talking naturally there was ruckus and it was dealt with. Of course if it was a teenager that got kicked out they called their Mommy and she would come in demanding a refund and the bloody sacrifice of one of the employees (preferably a virgin if one were available). That was in Nebraska. In California, as a customer, I've seen much worse in greater numbers. I go see movies at the Burbank 16, a place so big they've got security guys in suits so naturally I would think these guys mean business. Completely ineffective. The problem is just too big for them to handle. The problem is....MOVIES ATTRACT THE DUMBEST PEOPLE ON EARTH. Think about, these rubes pay $10 a ticket, pay for $30 worth of food, and choose to chat to eachother for the duration of a movie. That is a waste of money and in California money is scarce for the most of us. Squandering on lottery tickets is practical by comparison. And on top of that the movies are getting dumber so in turn is the audience. There's a chicken and the egg debate in there somewhere. It's going to get worse, much worse and I'm beginning to see Idiocracy as prophecy more than satire. Which means anyone with a high IQ must get to a sperm bank, toot-sweet. ....There, I feel much better now. This has been therapeutic to say the least. I hope I didn't bore the living piss out of anyone.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:06 p.m. CST

    Childe Roland

    by jtishere

    When you express your super powers, do you make the same face that Hiro guy does on "Heroes" does when he teleports?

  • April 20, 2007, 5:07 p.m. CST

    jtishere...

    by Err

    You mean the constipation face?

  • April 20, 2007, 5:08 p.m. CST

    Yeah

    by jtishere

    That face.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:08 p.m. CST

    The audience doesn't respect movies.

    by Barry Egan

    I think that one of the reasons why theater behavior is getting worse and worse is that the average viewer doesn't respect film. To them it is just disposable entertainment, a way to kill a couple of hours. Their lack of respect for the craft manifests istelf in talking and being generally obnoxious, as if they are at home in their own living rooms. To them the movie screen is just one great big TV. (I also wonder if the theater chains' insistence on showing 30 minutes of commercials before the movie has anything to do with this.) If you go to see a play or stage musical you don't usually see this sort of thing because usually the people who would go see live theater have a greater amount of respect for the process and the craft.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:09 p.m. CST

    AMC

    by garcicr

    I used to work at a theater thru my highschool years actualy banged a chick in one ha ha good times..... but for the most part was actualy a fun job. Never had t deal with unrully kids or people cause it was a rich part of town Highland Park to be exact. O yhea we stole alot of stuff from movie posters to hotdogs. They had a preview screening of Men In Black there one time (that shows how long ago it was) If any of you ever worked in a movie theater AMC to be exact then you know those damn movie tunes that played non stop holly crap that would drive any body nutzzz!!!!

  • April 20, 2007, 5:09 p.m. CST

    more horror stories

    by rdsxfan8

    during a showing of the 5th element, some kid in the theater, sitting way in the back near the projectionist window decided he was gonna throw his baseball hat into the lil window, just to see the shadow of it on thebig screen throughout the movie. needless to say the movie had to be stopped and than restarted because of this lil 'waste of a fertilized egg" ive also had reels break and stuff while in the theater, but the best is still the guy above whose girlfriend went all ape shit with a kiddie chair on some loud mouths. Man i would hate to break up with her outta fear that she might take me out by the woodshed and give me a serious beatdown if i crossed or angered her.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:14 p.m. CST

    I really think the problem

    by StayBeautiful

    I really think the problem is bigger than theaters and customers. Its the "Fuck You" attitude our culture has. This is nothing more than just an instance of getting a bunch of those egos in a room together. Its not about ushers and bouncers, its about manners and respectfulness, obviously two things that the general public dont value anymore.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:18 p.m. CST

    drewlicious: Burbank 16

    by Charles Grady

    I feel for ya. It's one of the theaters closest to me, so I go there occasionally out of sheer convenience. During the week it's a nice, generic, harmless multiplex. On weekends, it's like seeing a movie with the ENTIRE HIGH SCHOOL CLASS FROM THE MOVIE 187 or WASSAUP ROCKERS. It's in the middle of sleepy ol' Burbank, but for some reason the movie theater attracts only wispy-mustached, gel-spiked, baggy-clothed "Fliasiarmeniatino" kids from all over the Valley and their chubby girlfriends, who sneak from one screen to the next at indeterminate times and make TONS of noise. Believe it or not, it used to be worse when it was the old Burbank 14, before they remodeled it.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:20 p.m. CST

    Barry Egan

    by Capytalium

    Hi When you say 30 minutes of commercials you mean really 30 minutes? That's how it is in the U.S. ? I mean the 5 minutes, theater lights on, local store commercials mixed with 2-3 ice cream and candys commercials we get here are already a pain but... waouw 30 minutes, I hope there is exageration in you statement...

  • April 20, 2007, 5:23 p.m. CST

    This happens in the UK as well.

    by DANZIGG

    Once i took my mum to see what lies beneath on a Saturday afternoon. Cinema was empty yet thes 4 kids decided out of all the empty seats to sit behind us and kick our f$%^ing chair. Told them to cut it out, but in the end we moved no wonder piracy is on the rise. Also went to see 300 and the floor was so sticky my shoes felt molded to the floor. I felt guilty moving my feet because of the noise it made but when you restricted leg room and i'm 6 2" by the way you need to move your legs so I would say cleaning in cinemas is a priority and I would actually ban food and drink from cinemas because of noise spillage and smell (sorry you can wait 2 hours to eat and drink it won't kill you)

  • April 20, 2007, 5:24 p.m. CST

    Question

    by drewlicious

    Has anybody invented a device put in the theaters that automatically scramble cell phone signals? If so has any theater actually used them? A place like that would have my business on that fact alone.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:26 p.m. CST

    answer

    by StayBeautiful

    It would be pointless, you'd still have idiots playing with their phones wondering why its not working.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:28 p.m. CST

    Capytalium: I am totally serious.

    by Barry Egan

    AMC has some thing they call the Movie Countdown or some such thing. It starts 30 minutes before they start to show trailers and it contains commercials and behind the scenes looks at various productions.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:28 p.m. CST

    YEAH QUINT!

    by bluebottle

    You just made my day.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:29 p.m. CST

    TomBodet

    by Javeyjoe

    I think the DVD was made as an alternate source of revenue for the companies rather than the only way to see a movie and actually be able to concentrate on it. Most filmmakers would prefer if you saw their stuff as it was intended, on that big ol screen that changed their lives at some point and made them become filmmakers. What the Hell are we going to have in 20 years if that magic moment comes to kids watching torrents on a 20 inch monitor? You know what I mean.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:31 p.m. CST

    What a great day...

    by idahomer

    Haven't done a lick of work, just been reading this.<p> My wife and I now live close to an AMC that is in a Shopping Center (Ralph's, Petco, Circuit City, ets.) instead of in a mall, and it's a world of difference. Yes there are kid, but seem better behaved. It has more of a neighborhood feel. Plus we have taken to going to weekend matinees.<p> However, last summer the wife wanted to shopping and I wanted to see United 93. The theater is about a quarter full and this couple comes in and sits a row up about 4 seats away. Immediately they start pulling food out of paper bags. The guy is eating a friggin apple! We are about two minutes before the start and I'm thinking "I am not going to listen to people eating and opening and closing bags during this movie." So I get up, walk over, lean in and whisper to the guy, "You are not going to be making noise during THIS movie," and went back to my seat. Never looked at them again and never heard a peep.<p> Oh, and the reason we live next tothis particular theater now is because a couple Halloweens ago some wanna-be bangers were roaming our street late. I went outside and shooed them off. Next morning I go to get the paper and our front door and been set on fire. Luckily, it didn't catch. So you do have to be careful how you confront people.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:34 p.m. CST

    Off topic but working at a

    by StayBeautiful

    Off topic but working at a theater I think it needs to be said. Unless its in a glass container MOVIE THEATERS DONT CARE IF YOU BRING YOUR OWN FOOD, so stop saying you are sneaking it in.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:37 p.m. CST

    I sat next to a guy with parkinson's once...

    by blackmantis

    At first I thought he was just settling into his seat, but after a minute or so I realized he wasn't going to stop moving. I took another crappier seat as soon as I figured out his problem.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:37 p.m. CST

    ...plus you are just going

    by StayBeautiful

    ...plus you are just going to leave it on the floor anyway, right?

  • April 20, 2007, 5:39 p.m. CST

    rdsxfan8

    by Capytalium

    Long story short, she is a sweety most of the time and a friggin fighting amazon when it comes to what she feels is not right... that's how she felt at that time, it was not right to be bothered by a bunch of kids who felt free to annoy 30 or so people for 2 hours, everybody paid their 9 Eur for the screening, even them I guess - They wanted to play smart asses, but you never who's gonna be in room. Her only regret she told me was to not having done that earlier in the film... (we broke up nicely btw, we're still good friends (what other choice do I have??? just kidding)

  • April 20, 2007, 5:43 p.m. CST

    Nothing worse than seeing an art film at a multiplex.

    by Barry Egan

    Especially in the suburbs. The worst experience I have had at the movies in a long time was sitting through Little Miss Sunshine (which was, of course, last year's Little Miss Sunshine)at a suburban multiplex. The place was full or Baby Boomers who had no idea that some of the film wasnt supposed to be funny. The laughed at everthing Steve Carrell said, probably because they had caught 40 Year Old Virgin on HBO.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:46 p.m. CST

    This is why I hate Times Square

    by brando render

    Worst place I've ever gone to the movies. When I went to see The Host, it started with a guy right in front of my going "AW YOU GOTTA BE KIDDIN' ME!" in reaction to the subtitles, and a huge black guy talking and challenged to a fight by a older white fellow because of it. That old guy's my hero.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:48 p.m. CST

    jtishere: I'll have to ask my wife...

    by Childe Roland

    ...what my face looks like when I use my power, as I've never actually done it in front of a mirror or a running camera.<p>I wouldn't imagine it's the constipation face (which both Hiro and Chloe from 24 do so well), though. From how good it feels, I suspect I make much more of a satisfied/relieved face.<p>I do know that I very deliberately smiled at those kids after dropping my ass on them in the theater.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:49 p.m. CST

    blackmantis

    by Javeyjoe

    I think you just described an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:50 p.m. CST

    Barry Egan: I'm impressed...

    by Capytalium

    Not in the good way of course, except maybe does that affect the price of the ticket, like it's reduce or you get free snack, a goody, poster, something? The day that comes around here you can count me out of going to theater anymore, I'm not paying for commercials, that a shame... The Spidey incident had me away from theater for... until King Kong, now slowly I'm more willing to go to theater again.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:53 p.m. CST

    Burbank 16

    by drewlicious

    The only time I have ever seen scrutinize anyone is....me. I went to see Four Brothers (regrettable enough) and over an hour into the movie I get his tap on my shoulder. One of the security guys is asking to see my ticket. I show it to him, and then he asks me if I saw three kids sneak in. I asked him if that's what he was looking for this whole time. It was. I asked him why he was bothering me, someone who is clearly alone, and why he didn't bother looking in the front row first because thats where the only available seats are. I may look relatively young but I hardly fit the description. I have seen no enforecement since. Even if this guy did do his job corectly at the time he'd still have some angry parents to deal with later because 'their' children never misbehave. It's no secret why the ticket guy, always the same greasy pale guy, looks so miserable, the chaos drains your will and your common sense and this guy is just tearing tickets.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:54 p.m. CST

    The 20

    by And Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu

    God I hate it. I forget if they still call it that. "Behind the scenes with Wild Hogs!!!" "NBC First Look at Crossing Jordan!!!" "Catch the 20!!!!" Then the retarded roller coaster thing they used to have: "You are now entering Regal Cinemas..." AHHHH fuck that noise. Now I know why the old second-run theaters had the bullet holes in the screen.

  • April 20, 2007, 5:59 p.m. CST

    Hell yeah Quint

    by Jack Burton

    Not to beat a point into the ground but here are my recent bad experiences: Saw - loudly talking teenagers through the entire movie Revenge of the Sith - multiple assholes with cell phones texting, talking, or just lighting up the neon blue to see what time it is. moron behind us dropped his change 3 different times. V for Vendetta - dude behind me drummed on his cup the entire time Sin City - dude next to me SCREAMED every time something violent happened The Devils Rejects - more drumming but this time on the railing by a gaggle of teen girls which seemed an odd audience anyway for the movie. There is a reason these are all older movies. Grindhouse, Casino Royale, The Prestige were ok but we saw matinees and I now have a 50" 1080p TV and I'm planning on getting blu-ray this fall. After Spider-man 3 and Pirates 3 I don't plan on seeing much else in the theater beyond the mega-blockbusters. It pisses me off that theaters want the proposed 3D thing to be what draws audiences in because they can't get it at home. They miss the point entirely. Until they fix audience behavior and start enforcing against the bullshit distractions, I really don't care. My advice is stick with matinees, and go at least 1 week after opening weekend. Also try to sign up for the email mailing list on your local theater. Mine gives coupons for combo popcorn & drink for no more than $4 for the biggest combo. It lessens the pain if the audience does suck.

  • April 20, 2007, 6:09 p.m. CST

    Continued

    by And Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu

    In Grindhouse there was some drunk guy during Death Proof who kept making retarded comments. Anyway, at the part where Kurt Russell gets down on one knee and recites the poem to Butterfly, and she first rejects him, right after the rejection the guy drunkenly laughs and goes "He's gonna have to suck his own dick tonight!1!" I swear, for the rest of the movie I couldn't get the image of Snake Plissken blowing himself out of my head. Christ.

  • April 20, 2007, 6:11 p.m. CST

    Follow the Money

    by photosurrealism

    Rude people are why I've cut back on moviegoing a lot. I did see Grindhouse, and the crowd was reasonable, but generally I'll wait for the DVD to get down to $10 and buy it to watch at home instead. <p>And here's my point, movie theater people: I spend more money than those annoying people. I have more money and I spend more money. I'm not rich, but I'm your dream demographic. You want my money and I want to give it to you. I'd love to see a movie or two every week at your cinema, but all it takes is one of these dipwads and I'll not come back for months. <p>I'm also a big fan of the NC-17. No Fucking Kids at my movie makes me happy. I'm also for renaming the R to PG-17 to accurately reflect what the two ratings mean, but I won't go off on that rant here. <p>But I'm with the rant on people who run cinemas: there's a plaque by the door that says you have a new DTS sound sound system, but I can't hear it over the gabby folks behind me. Even if I'm on-call, I'll keep that phone on silent, but the kid in front of me is making outgoing calls because he's bored. Throw them out and tell them not to come back. If I know you did, I'll be sure to come back. And I'll tell my friends why.

  • April 20, 2007, 6:13 p.m. CST

    If a Radio Station is sponsoring the Opening Night....

    by Dr Lisa Cuddy

    Your in for a real treat of grade-a asshole. At the Darkness Falls opening...they gave out mini-flashlights to everyone in the crowd. Flashlights....to a crowd...in a dark theater. GENIUS

  • April 20, 2007, 6:14 p.m. CST

    ARCLIGHT quickly going dowhill

    by sharkysmachine

    I agree with the posts about the deteriorating movie-going experience at the Arclight. This is still the only theater left that I'll see films at in L.A. due to its comfortable auditoriums and (can-you-believe-it) actually in-focus projection. But lately it's becoming as bad as any other suburban multiplex. Case in point: the Arclight used to enforce a "no-admittance-once-the-show-start policy". I had a friend who used to work there as an usher several years back tell me a story how they even banned Tarantino from entering a screening of his OWN film when he arrived 30 minutes late (and lil' Q was of course all pissed off about it). I said BRAVO to Arclight for sticking to its guns! But that policy seems to have now gone away. For example: a month ago, I'm twenty minutes into ZODIAC in the Cinerama Dome, and here comes a chatty, clueless couple who can't find their seats in the dark, and who proceeded to disrupt the film's first tense murder sequence. Then followed all their muffled date-talk as Fincher's film must have been way too complex for them to comprehend. I shot them several dirty looks; they would be quiet for a while then start back up. Why should I have to leave my seat and find an usher and miss out on the film's intricate plot and story details? Quint is 100% correct in saying that people talking during movies in the #1 reason most of us stay away from going to films. The Arclight used to only be for "cinephiles" who would gladly paid the extra few bucks to watch a movie with other "industry" people in "peace", people who showed up early, didn't talk during the movie, and who also didn't eat a three-cource meal during the show. Now that other chains ticket prices have almost caught up to Arclight's, the great unwashed have spilled over from other multiplexes. About the assigned-seating policy: it's a double-edged sword: it's great to be able to secure a ticket in advance and show up 5 minutes before a sold-out tent-pole screening (and not having to wait in some endless AMC line for two hours beforehand). But once you find your Arclight seat, that's when you're then faced with WHO you're forced to sit next to for the next two hours, like some kind of lottery. I saw "Spider-Man 2" there opening weekend, and had to sit behind two gay men who proceeded to MAKE OUT behind me for almost half of the two and a half run time. When told about it, the ushers only smiled and wouldn't do anything (I'm sure they didn't want GLAAD picketing out front in protest). As this was opening weekend, the only available seats were first and second rows - forget it. The Arclight ushers always give their little pre-show spiel about "if you encounter any problems during the show please contact us" before the film begins, but it seems merely lip-service. They should station ushers or even "bouncers" in the auditorium DURING THE SHOW and then deal with any problems immediately. (I've noticed the AMC 16 Burbank now has burly security "bouncers" serving as doormen in various auditoriums). But for all its troubles, Arclight is still the best-place in L.A. to see a film. When I lived in the South Bay, I used to go to The Bridge Cinema de Lux, which for its equally high-cost and pretension was awful (out of focus movies, movies that started 15 minutes late, ENDLESS TALKING from the area's predominantly "urban" audience, you name it). Hopefully the Arclight can regain what made it a special destination for us filmgoers in the first place.

  • April 20, 2007, 6:18 p.m. CST

    I shut them up....

    by mangotree

    I go to the cinema usually once a week and where I go (Odeon, Midlands, UK) there are usually no problems. Although, when the corpse bride came out and my girlfriend on the spur asked me to go with her some jumped up teenage clown shoes decided to do their best to annoy everybody in the theatre. They sat a couple of rows back from us and just shouted, talked, used phones and threw sweets for fun. I asked them to be quiet and was met with the usual chorus of 'whatevers and I don't think so's'. This carried on till I couldn't take anymore, so I said to my girlfriend to go start the car and I would be out in a minute. As soon as she left the theatre I heard one say something like 'that bitch is gonna grass on us' and stood up. The rest is a bit of a haze, but the one guy went for he door. I have no idea what he would have done/said to my girlfriend, but I intercepted him and punched a bucket of popcorn out of his hand. He just stared at me and then sat down!? I lent over the back of the seat and put him in a headlock with my left arm and grabbed his buddy around the throat with my right hand. I was met with the usual sounds of 'get off man, I didn't do anything' until I came to my senses. I'm not a violent person and have only seen the red mist a couple of times, but I dread to think what I would have done. I let them go and exited the theatre....nuff said.

  • April 20, 2007, 6:25 p.m. CST

    There actually is a device that blocks...

    by Edward_nygma

    ...the signals for mobile phones but they're pretty illegal in most countries. In some countries you can get a license to use them for places like hospitals, churches and even theatres but in the UK and the US they're just plain illegal. Fuck knows why, every cinema should have them as standard. Oh, and anyone who talks like a prick during a film should be arse-raped to death.

  • April 20, 2007, 6:32 p.m. CST

    The ultimate theater weapon

    by Veganzomby

    I hates them talkin' varmints! Seriously, I hate people who talk in theaters. Yeah, you can get an usher if they don't stop talking, but why should you have to miss a few minutes of a film because of some jackass? Whenever I go out at night I carry a Surefire Executive Elite flashlight. It's only 5 inches long but it can blind you in broad daylight, so imagine what it can do to dark-adjusted eyes. It's also made of tough metal and can be used to make a nice quarter-sized dent between somebody's eyes. Mind you, this is only for self-defense when you have no choice but to fight back. However, I am sorely tempted to use it to melt the corneas of the next shmuck who talks behind me despite repeated requests to STFU. Regarding racial issues: here in D.C., I've dealt with talkers of all races and genders. Alas, when I shush a black person (I'm white) more often than not race comes into play -- directed towards me. Sad to say, but race relations in this polarized city kind of...what is the word? Suck. So, I often don't bother shushing black people and simply move. Theater owners, if you're reading this thread, know that I and my wife now watch most of our films in our home theater due to the fact that though you charge high prices for tickets and insane prices for food & drink, you do nothing to ensure that your patrons can actually enjoy the films in peace. You have lost the bulk of our film-watching money, and I know that we are not alone in that regard. Either shape up watch your profits dwindle to piss.

  • April 20, 2007, 6:38 p.m. CST

    Incidentally, for old people who talk

    by Veganzomby

    I cut them a lot of slack, out of respect for their age and because some old people really don't mean to annoy. I've never had an old person be rude to me when I asked them to be quiet. Oh yeah, for anyone here from Consolidated Theaters: the Majestic in Silver Spring is a zoo. You ceased getting my family's money a long time ago.

  • April 20, 2007, 6:44 p.m. CST

    300lb woman walks into Passion of the Christ...

    by Optimus Murphy

    ...15 minutes into the movie. The fat bitch stands at the floor of the theater and yells up to everyone "This passions? Is dis passions?" Somebody sitting near her answers yes, and then she yells "Why're they talkin like dat? Do they talk like dat the whole movie?!?!?!" True fucking story.

  • April 20, 2007, 6:54 p.m. CST

    Passion of the Christ

    by drewlicious

    Oh, there have to be some hilarious stories in those audiences. I've had people get mad at me for telling them it was gone, six months after it was released. Interesting sidenote: Watching your lord and savior being crucified is not complete without large bag of popcorn and some sourpatch kids for the little ones. A lot of four year olds got a very interesting education from that film.

  • April 20, 2007, 6:55 p.m. CST

    Passion of the Christ

    by Err

    It was a good film except Gibson punished his audience with the flogging scenes. Although, to bring it back on topic, nothing shuts up an audience like watching a man get flogged for about 15-20 minutes.

  • April 20, 2007, 6:58 p.m. CST

    Hey Burbankers....

    by occula

    which one is the 16? the one that's in the big-assed plaza with the cold stone creamery next to it? every time i see a flick in burbank it's a fucking crapshoot because i can't tell which theatre i'm going to end up at since they're all 'burbank town center AMC'. anyhow, as an FYI, the best AMC in burbank for my money is the one sort of down in the parking lot, across from the in-n-out. digital projection, strangely less crowds and, well, you can bring the in-n-out in.

  • April 20, 2007, 7 p.m. CST

    I wholeheartedly agree: Let's block cell phone signals!

    by FilmCritic3000

    You couldn't let people know, of course, because then the assholes would sue. But it'd be a welcome change and a tactic I'd definitely use if I owned a theater.

  • April 20, 2007, 7 p.m. CST

    and bitter arclighters...

    by occula

    i haven't had a bad experience there yet but i'm sure it's only a matter of time...if anybody's phone goes off during my 8 pm of 'hot fuzz' tomorrow night, i'll pull a childe roland on 'em!

  • April 20, 2007, 7:07 p.m. CST

    Edward_nygma

    by magnetoelectric

    Theres a paint that blocks cell signals-[Using nanotechnology, particles of copper are inserted into nanotubes, which are ultra-tiny tubes that occur naturally in halloysite clay mined in Utah. Combined with a radio-filtering device that collects phone signals from outside a shielded space, certain transmissions can proceed while others are blocked, the Chicago Tribune reported.]

  • April 20, 2007, 7:09 p.m. CST

    Theatre enforcement has to step up

    by glenlake8

    I agree, that theatre enforcement of the idiots talking in the theatre in not where it should be and I worked at theatres most my young adult life so I have an idea of how they would respond. 1) It seems to me that people feel more emblazoned to talk in the theatre than ever before. When I was young, the only problem I ever remember was the crying baby. Now, you got cell phones, blue tooth and just generally idiotic people to deal with. They seem to have no respect for the moviegoing experience. I don't remember it being this way in the 80s when I was a kid. 2) Don't help aggravate the problem. This is the toughest one, today. While the theatre SHOULD be keeping tabs on the theatre to kick out the idiots, it doesn't help to do what Quint did. Explain to me who here in talkbacks, would take kindly to being told "Shut the Fuck up!" No one. I don't care if you tried nicely before or not. "Shut the fuck up" is not going to work, or worse will end up getting you thrown out instead. In fact, your either going to start a fight, or at the very least, they will do what Quint said and find other ways to distract from your enjoyment (ruffling of bags, etc.) Best to get management before you get profane. Which I know sucks, b/c they could do absolutely nothing, like in Quint's case. I know of several times when I was an usher that I had to kick out both groups (the talker, and the annoyed) b/c when I went in to deal with the talker, I had the annoyed yelling "Yeah, I told you to shut the fuck up" and end up with a verbal tiff going back and forth in the theatre. 3)I call bullshit to Toby's claim that stopping a movie, ejecting EVERYONE, with no refund, will get more people coming back to his theatre. Unless the auditorium consisted completely of teenagers, any adult who WASNT part of the problem (and even some who were) will be calling corporate so fast that his head should be spinning. I can see stopping the movie, telling everyone to shut up. But kicking everyone out, tells me that he had lost complete control of his theatre and I imagine that most adults would have felt that way too. Had that been Spider-man 3 opening night, and Quint had been in that theatre, I doubt he would have applauded that he himself was kicked out with no refund. 4) There should be little tolerance and theatres HAVE to do a better job. But again, in our PC dominated world, kicking someone out with no warning, will get corporate called on you. Unfortunately there are people in the world who do "slot" people and could simply complain when there is no reason to, just b/c they can. But theatres do need to be more proactive. If kids are acting up in the lobby, they'll act up in the theatre. Know where they are going so that you can get the warning out of the way in the previews. A baby crying at the conecession stand is going to cry in the movie. Know where they are going. Quint seems to be fairly connected so that at ShowWest maybe he could of brought up ideas to help theatres stop these clowns from the beginning. a) As has been discussed above, there is talk of getting the devices that will block cellphones in theatres. This should be an automatic buy for exhibitors, just get it passed. b) If you are a human body, you must buy a ticket. No more 2 and under free. If parents had to spend $8 for their baby as well, maybe they might not bring them. It would certainly reduce it. c)MPAA gets off its ass and comes up with proper ratings. NC17 would be so awesome and easy to enforce. NO ONE under 17 admitted. Means no babies, no kids. Perfect. Unfortunately the MPAA screwed this up so badly that no one dares release a NC17 movie because newspapers wont run the ads, theatres won't show them, Blockbuster won't stock them. Idiots. Redo the ratings and make them work the way they are supposed to. Ultimately, it falls on the theatres to be more proactive with their ushers to make sure they ARE checking theatres frequently and making themselves seen every 10 min. or so. Issue warnings whether they heard anything or not, so that they can be kicked ou the next time. Theatre staffs need to earn their money so that the people spending their money can ENJOY the film.

  • April 20, 2007, 7:20 p.m. CST

    Quinn

    by Fabulous Freak

    No shit, I work in El Dorado Hills, and talk about rich bitches. Try to get a 17yr old with a Masarati to shut the fuck up.

  • April 20, 2007, 7:20 p.m. CST

    Nanopaint URLs @Chicago Tribune

    by magnetoelectric

    http://tinyurl.com/yuckuf

  • April 20, 2007, 7:26 p.m. CST

    Bad Moments In Nerd-Rage Part One

    by foreignerbelt

    1. I yell at an entire roomful of my college friends to 'shut the fuck up while I'm watching the movie.' Then eject the movie and walk out of the room with it in middle of said movie. 2. My roommate tells me to eat with the lights off as I get home from a day of work so he can enjoy the slightly darker ambience while he plays Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask. I do not comply. He storms out of room. I am so shocked that I can not find the words to speak to him. He soon moves out. 3. Quint snaps at a father and daughter duo to "shut the fuck up" at the beginning of a free radio screening of film that will not be popular and couldn't be less important if it tried. Family team has no idea that Quint is professional critic. Does not comply. Quint fall further into the darkside as nerd-rage consumes him and ruins his enjoyment of movie, granting crinkling bags the power to completely destroy his movie-going enjoyment even though volume of said movie is probably at 11.

  • April 20, 2007, 7:31 p.m. CST

    foreignerbelt

    by Err

    You could say that Quint was getting "Hot Blooded"

  • April 20, 2007, 7:35 p.m. CST

    Why does that Shadow Warriors ad at the top...

    by IAmJack'sUserID

    feature a ninja/shinobi that looks like the same one from Revenge of Shinobi on Sega Genesis, or is that too old skool for you lads?

  • April 20, 2007, 7:39 p.m. CST

    Jack...

    by Err

    I wish it was like Ninja Gaiden, the PC Game that was on a 3.5 floppy diskette.

  • April 20, 2007, 7:59 p.m. CST

    Err

    by Javeyjoe

    Touch him and see. He has a nerd fever of 103

  • April 20, 2007, 8:06 p.m. CST

    Seriously though, if someone is annoying your

    by bongo123

    movie experience, dont shusssh them, you give a stare or a shussh to a bunch of kids you may as well give them a free pass to take the piss. Trust me, i aint a violent person, i abhore any kind of violence but sometimes fuckers need to be taught a lesson and the number one thing when confronting people is confidence, if some twat is talking behind you dont stare at him, stand up look him in the eye and tell him you'll personally drag his ass outside by the fucking ear if he doesnt shut up and i can bet you 9 times outa 10 they'll go fuck that, that dudes crazy and shut up. Its happened to me loads and i aint no UFC, im just a normal bloke who likes to enjoy his movies in quiet. Granted there is that 1 time outa 10 when you yell at someone and hes bigger and nastier than you, in that case run like a cunt! lol but most times you'll look the nut and people will generally shut up. So stop taking the shit and start dishing it out

  • April 20, 2007, 8:10 p.m. CST

    The Pretige was one of my favorite films last year...

    by Big Bad Clone

    because the second someone's ringtone and they answered it, the entire theater told her to shut the fuck up. <p><lb> At Stranger than Fiction, the woman down my row was actually placing calls throughout the entire fucking movie. WHY THE FUCK DID YOU BUY A TICKET?

  • April 20, 2007, 8:12 p.m. CST

    Burbank in general......

    by Doc_Strange

    Well let's see there's like one on ramp to get out of the city, which scares the hell out of me cuz it's like the fuckin' twilight zone, second, the whole city is pretty much ghetto so naturally you're gonna get all the ghetto trash going to the multiplex on weekends. Yet another reason why I avoid the city at all costs.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:14 p.m. CST

    Hills Have Eyes 2 - A woman brought a 4 year old

    by BitterMan23

    predictably, the kid began crying at the first sight of a monster. I said, loudly. "Take your 4 year old out of the R rated movie, please." She did not. A few minutes later, the kid began crying again. "No. Seriously. Leave. NOW." This time she did. <br> <br> What sort of idiot thinks that a kid that age will be OK to watch a movie like that??? <br> <br> I read a while back that some theaters were gonna try a program that gave little remotes to "trusted" patrons, who would use them to alert management about disruptive folks in the theater. When the hell are we gonna start seeing those???

  • April 20, 2007, 8:26 p.m. CST

    Tired of lack of theatre etiquette?

    by moviemecca

    Check out this petition! We have the power to change the way theatre managers let people run wild when we, the decent folk, just want to watch our movie in peace. Trust me, this is only the beginning! http://tinyurl.com/25mg8n Sign today and make a difference!

  • April 20, 2007, 8:27 p.m. CST

    Occula & Doc Strange

    by sharkysmachine

    The AMC Burbank Town Center 6 is the theater "inside" the parking structure, across from In-n-Out. The AMC Burbank Town Center 8 is inside the mall (its shoe-box theaters are to be avoided at all costs). The old AMC Bubank 14 which was torn down to build the new AMC 16 was a pretty shitty theater, usually filled with gansters and low-lifes from Pacomia, San Fernando, and Sun Valley (since no theater chain will build in those crap areas). All the trash comes to Burbank on weekends to stink up the city.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:30 p.m. CST

    And that was at the Burbank 16, for the record

    by BitterMan23

    occula is correct, that weird one underground is the best of the 3. I saw Disturbia there and even though it was filled with noisy kids, they all more or less shut up when the movie started. I was amazed. the 16 is usually pretty terrible. only theaters i can really recommend are the arclight, the grove, and the galleria. the rest - might as well just go to a club, its the same experience.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:34 p.m. CST

    I agree with you 100%, Arundel Mills worst in town.

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    We like to call it "Ghetto Mills". It's the worst place to see a major motion picture on opening night. You can be rest assured that there will be under age teenagers and other assholes who will talk during the movie. It's also near a bus line and easy access via the light rail from Baltimore City. <BR> <BR> The theater even runs a trailer before every show to try and make a point not to talk. The trailers are pretty straight to the point and knows who it's targeting. Does that stop them? Fuck no. And if you try to say something their thug friends threaten to "cap" you if you don't shut up. I never go there to see a movie unless it's been out for a long time and I happen to be in the area and it's during the day.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:36 p.m. CST

    Sharkysmachine, I could write a novel...

    by Charles Grady

    ...on the number of bad experiences I had when it was the Burbank 14. Just amazing. They used to have two, arguably 4, decently sized auditoriums, but the other 10 were all Beverly Center-esque rooms filled with crews that looked like the background extras for the night-racing crowd scenes in FAST AND THE FURIOUS. Ironically, I -saw- F&F there, and for once, the crowd was dead fucking silent, no doubt in awe at seeing themselves depicted on the silver screen. But then and now, the typical Burbank teen moviegoer's look is wispy mustache, gelled spike hair, often a visor, baggy clothes (or skintight metal clothes and shaggy hair if they're the newer type of rocker-dude teen), always arm-in-arm with a Latina/Filipina in skintight tank-top and tight black hip-huggers who they nuzzle and kiss on both in line and throughout the movie. Since most of Burbank is crotchety old cowpoke types, yeah, one can mainly assume the kids ship in from Sun Valley and Tujunga. Actually, I'm surprised no Angeleno has chimed in with THE WORST: The theater at the Universal Citywalk. 18 screens of bumpkin tourists colliding with hardcore thugs sneaking from room to room and starting shit. Burbank when it was the 14 came close, but Citywalk wins for most ill-behaved kids.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:40 p.m. CST

    thx gents for the info

    by occula

    i know there are lots of yukka stories from small towns on this TB too, but i have to say the best theatre experiences i've had in the last 5 years have been at the pacific theatre in santa barbara. cheap tix; free refills; nice new stadium seating; good sound and, believe it or not, i have never once heard a cell phone or a talker, despite the college and high school crowds. it's been worth it for me to wait for an out-of-town weekend to see movies for that.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:42 p.m. CST

    Yeah, lots of emos hang out in Burbank

    by BitterMan23

    Theres also a group of horror guys that go there, you'll see them all heading into dead silence or whatever, like 30 of em with fulci T shirts or whatever. theyre the worst.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:48 p.m. CST

    Pasadena: a mixed back

    by Charles Grady

    I have mixed success with Pasadena. The Paseo is a Pacific, which means it's a nice theater but absolutely no way to control the people sneaking from one show to next. God help you if you sit down front, because you'll be watching rich kids sneak in and out for the whole movie. But the audiences seem a little more upscale and respetful. On the other hand, it's a weird place to see an "art" film. Despite two Laemmle's and the Rialto, plus the occasional upscale fare getting booked at the Paseo 14, the Pasadena audience isn't that "hip," and edgy/arty films sometimes go over like a lead balloon with the older audiences there. Haven't decided if it's more insufferable than the poseury Sunset 5 crowd, but expect a lot of uncomfortable tittering and grousing (and bored chattering) amidst the middle-aged set if you try seeing something offbeat in Pasadena.

  • April 20, 2007, 8:56 p.m. CST

    Charles Grady, you are SO RIGHT ON...

    by sharkysmachine

    ...about the Burbank 14. Way back when, I saw "Speed" with my ex-wife in one of their "decent" audtoriums. My ex had long hair and she had it draped over the back of her seat. Sitting behind us was some cholo and his whored-up chola girfriend. So the chola deliberately puts her knees on the back of my ex's seat (and hair), and nearly pulled her hair out in the process. When she rightly complained, I almost got into a fight with the dude over it, then had to listen to their barely-audible taunts and threats during the entire film. The theater was completely sold-out so we were stuck having to sit there (we weren't about to let those assholes ruin the night). I also remeber going to see "The Last Action Hero" there when some idiot lights up a cigarette during the movie (!) We all just sat there in stunned disbelief until the usher finally came in about 10 minutes later to tell him not to smoke (never threw him out). I also remember times when the audio went out and once or twice when the film broke. And my friends always wondered why I didn't see more films. Was very happy to see it meet the wrecking ball. It was the only Burbank theater for a long time, so sadly it was go there or drive to the other hell-hole close by that I forgot about it: City Walk 18. I cannot believe some tourist from Kansas hasn't wound up dead there yet. I feel bad for all the poor tourists who come to L.A. and that's the "Hollywood Magi" they get to experience.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:02 p.m. CST

    mhmph yep pasadena

    by occula

    lived there for years and it was an uphill battle at that paseo pacific. and the laemmle is run by a bunch of dillholes!

  • April 20, 2007, 9:06 p.m. CST

    Pasadena

    by sharkysmachine

    The Pacific Paseo is completely overrun by kids on weekends, who trash the place like a swarm of locusts. The Laemelle Playhouse is decent - only if you get a good auditorium - but it skews to a graying conservative crowd that likes to chatter-on during films. The creaky ol' Academy is like a real old fashioned grindhouse, but at least the Rialto installed a digital sound system recently.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:08 p.m. CST

    DVD Can Suck Too

    by thefilmfreak

    I completely agree with everyone who hates talkbackers(the movie kind, not us!). I try to go on monday mornings but even that sometimes doesn't work. Now with DVD if you're like me and don't live alone it can be just as bad. Talking, closing cabinets, loud stereos, and other TVs spill into my room easily and make me pine for the day I have my own place. I can rarely watch a movie in peace and as a film lover that drives me crazy.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:09 p.m. CST

    Some of my Burbank greatest-hits reel

    by Charles Grady

    Seeing CONTACT and a Saturday evening and the entire auditorium talking at full conversational volume for all 150 minutes. A heavyset black woman yelling THIS SHIT IS OF THE HOOK! during every action moment of THE MATRIX. 5 minutes into DONNIE BRASCO, a crew of seven thugs rolls into the MOSTLY EMPTY THEATER and sits right behind me and starts doing catcalls, forcing me to move, and I'm called BITCH! for my troubles. Thugs sit directly next to me and moan SHE'S SOOOO HOT during any screen second of Alicia Silverstone in BATMAN AND ROBIN. More MATRIX fun: Two fools start beefing, and one smashes a BOTTLE INTO THE GROUND and yells GAAAAANGSTA 4 LIFE! mid-movie. Watching a Latino shaved-head dude smooch with his girlfriend through all excruciating 2 hours of CIDER HOUSE RULES. BABIES GALORE during TRAINING DAY, with the added delight of dudes yelling FUCK THAT BITCH UP! at pertinent moments. A GUY BY HIMSELF during KEYS TO TULSA yelling "AWWWWWW SHIT, DON'T BE A BITCH!" at random moments (????). A fat guy downing four DOUBLE-DOUBLES replete with smelly ketchup during WONDER BOYS. Translating into Spanish for the benefit of family during HEARTS IN ATLANTIS and PITCH BLACK. High-school kids prowling up and down the aisles for no reason during THE WATCHER. A kid running and screaming up and down the aisle for PATCH ADAMS (the parents would let him road when he got bored.) A crew of Latino teens rocking the seats of the people in front of them whenever they'd laugh during THE MUMMY. I could think of 230 more incidents, probably some much worse, but we don't have all year. It's amazing that on a site as wide-reaching as AICN, THIS many people have singled out the Burbank theaters in LA.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:11 p.m. CST

    hey tombodet...

    by occula

    my favorite theatre in the country to abuse for theatre-hopping, due to its crappiness yet general bonhomie? the hoyts falmouth 10, next to the wal-mart!

  • April 20, 2007, 9:13 p.m. CST

    wow grady!

    by occula

    how the hell can you remember all those moviegoer infractions! i'm impressed! most of mine (aside from my above story about throwing the drink at the guy) have all blurred into one long agonizing aggravation...

  • April 20, 2007, 9:16 p.m. CST

    GAAAAANGSTA 4 LIFE!

    by magnetoelectric

    Im dyin over that one,..Neo-So damn gangsta

  • April 20, 2007, 9:21 p.m. CST

    Charles Grady

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Babies at Training Day?! That.Is.Fucked.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:22 p.m. CST

    Marie Antoinette at the Paseo...

    by Charles Grady

    in Pasadena was hell on Earth. Bored old-timers plus catty gay men plus even more bored tweens and teens. Since the entire movie is dead silent, it was a never-ending sea of chatter, and the place was so lit up with text message screens, you'd have thought the Scorps were about to do Winds of Change at the Berlin Wall.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:27 p.m. CST

    Charles Grady

    by Stuntcock Mike

    Your last sentence made my week. Thanks brother.

  • April 20, 2007, 9:41 p.m. CST

    fuck me!

    by occula

    that's where i saw it too. there WERE a lot of text message screens, weren't there!?

  • April 20, 2007, 9:53 p.m. CST

    No win scenario

    by LocoMotive

    I went to see Flags of Our Father's and had an Asian couple talking non stop. I politely asked them to be quiet three times. Firm but fair kind of thing. The last time i turn around and i say quite angrily Please! Stop talking! They shut up, but then this racist prick next to me joins in and says, and i quote: "Or we'll do to you what we did to your ancestors"! What the fuck is wrong with people...

  • April 20, 2007, 9:57 p.m. CST

    Lousy theater projection

    by sharkysmachine

    We can complain all we want about talkers, cell-phone users, babies and the like, but many times what ruins a film is the shitty technical performance of the theater itself: I went with another cameraman to see "Saving Private Ryan" at the Pacific Winnekta multi-plex on opening weekend. The auditorium was one of their "giant screens" which at the time they were really touting. Two big problems right off the bat: first, the brightness of the projector bulb was not adequate enough to illuminate the giant screen properly; so what was supposed to be pure white was really a light gray. To make matters worse, the entire image was soft and out of focus for the entire screening. My friend informed the theater manager to no avail, and I had to do the same. The image eventually got marginaly sharper, but the film was already ruined for us. Here we were, watching the hard work of hundreds of our fellow film technicians, as well as millions of studio dollars spent, only to have it ruined by some moron in the projector booth. Speaking of morons, I once went to the Edwards LaVerne theater where there was so much hair in the projector gate that it cut way into the image and "danced about". I remember the manager having no clue what I was talking about. I also remember one theater that forgot to matte the screen down to 1.85 (after having shown a 1.33 documentary the evening before). So during that the 1.85 film, we were treated to visible boom mikes, grips and other assorted crew in what was supposed to be the matted-out parts of the screen (granted, the panicked theater manager did correct the problem ASAP). I can understand gaffes like this in less-astute parts of the country, but not in the Film Capital of the World.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:08 p.m. CST

    That Thar Eff Werd

    by ArcadianDS

    I agree with the other talkbacker. I don't care if my daughter is talking during a movie. You toss the F word her way and you and I will take a train down to knuckle junction.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:37 p.m. CST

    Cell Phone Jammers

    by NHRonin

    Desperately needed in theaters. I remember a few years ago watching a movie at Pleasure Island at Disney World and a group of Puerto Rican kids yapping on their phone through the entire movie. I left halfway through and demanded my money back. It seems like every time I go to a movie now there is some asshole who feels the need to take a phone call in the middle of the film.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:39 p.m. CST

    If you don't care that your daughter is talking

    by BitterMan23

    then you ARE the sort of asshole that would start hitting a guy for trying to enjoy the movie he paid good money for. If you're right there, no one should be telling her to shut up, because that is your job, which you are obviously negletcing. Assholes like you are exactly the type of people Quint is talking about.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:40 p.m. CST

    The theater experience

    by ManosTHOF

    I have to sympathize with a lot of these experiences and agree with a lot of the suggestions. I wait for DVD for a LOT of films that I want to see. When "300" was a smash I decided to wait for DVD because it was hard to get to an optimum screening with my schedule. So I'll wait. The talking, the cell phones. Sometimes there's idiots at the back of the theater throwing things. People who kick the seats or put their feet up. Blackberries. Laser pointers. At a screening a couple of years back an idiot was playing his PSP through the whole thing. What's the point of going to a movie? When I caught the premiere of Desperado, during the opening when the Mariachis were playing, this loser jumped out of his seat yelling "Ariba!!!" over and over. It was the single most embarrassing thing I've ever seen, but the guy was oblivious. His girlfriend wasn't oblivious. She told him to stop and hid her face. At Hostel, during the blowtorch scene, these teenagers were behind me saying "Burn her fucking face off," and had equally ludicrous comments for almost everything else. And I sympathize with the talkbacker who went Charlie Bronson on the guy and punched him out, but I don't think a night in jail would agree with me...

  • April 20, 2007, 10:44 p.m. CST

    Cell phoneJamming

    by ManosTHOF

    I'm from Edmonton and some theaters at West Edmonton Mall used to do it, but now the reasoning is, "There might be an emergency and cell phone jammers prevent contact in the event of that." What a crock.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:44 p.m. CST

    Going back to why I blame studios (partly)....

    by amrisharmpit

    Earlier I wrote about how big-budget films are set up so theaters get screwed and thus, so does the paying customer. But I also think the quality of the films themselves is contributing to the decline in theater behavior. Look at the titles that have been successful this year...Ghost Rider, Wild Hogs, Are We Done Yet, Blades of Glory. These are awful films that aim for the LCD. Even well-made franchise blockbusters are still meant to bring in as wide an audience as possible - kids, teenagers, old, young, male, female, etc. That's a lot of different personalities coming together in one room. I believe that if studios stopped treating films as consumer products and started treating them as art, then the overall quality of the films would improve and so, too, would the audience. I say "if" because what I am proposing will never happen.

  • April 20, 2007, 10:49 p.m. CST

    The Hitcher

    by InstantClassic

    So, I work the Pacific Place/Cinerama theaters in Seattle. I'm one of the booth guys and need to tech films Thursday night before we open it on Friday. Sometimes I get the joy of teching these during screenings the night before. So I got to watch the Hitcher with a full 285 seat theater with a bunch of people who got in free. To the right of me I have Brittney and K-Fed with their little girl who couldn't have been older than maybe 7. Behind me a woman who before and during the film would comment on anything that came to mind. Due to being out of uniform for the screening I didn't do anything other than ask them to shut up which never actually worked. Had it not been my job to watch the film closely I would have gotten up and got a co-worker in uniform to boot them out. Best part was how I was looked at as the asshole when I'd use my cell phone like a flashlight to take nots on the inspection sheet.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:18 p.m. CST

    Dasher blaming studios is moronic

    by lotusblade

    Studios have always taken the majority of the box office, it's how they get paid. People are idiots. They complain about the price of a coke and popcorn. The prices are so high, because that is where the theaters make their money. They don't make money with ticket sales. The biggest reason ever given when routinely asked why they don't go to theaters is TALKING PATRONS. Home Theaters are gaining ground because once the initial cost of purchasing the equipment is taken into account, it's less expensive and more convenient (no talkers, you can pause the movie for interuptions). With a $18 a month account with Blockbuster you can rent multiple movies all the damn time for just $18. I know my home theater is better than any local movieplex. It's a 120" screen with Martin Logan speakers driven by Arcam amp and preamp. The whole room cost $45,000 (rolled into the mortgage thank god). I always have a better picture, and better sound than any theater. The food is better, and the seats are far more comfortable. The only thing it lacks is that opening night experience with tons of people enjoying the experience together. I do invite people over all the time, but it's not the same.

  • April 20, 2007, 11:53 p.m. CST

    Quint, you should have told that father:

    by Bob Cryptonight

    "If your daughter is upset by hearing 'shut the fuck up', she's really going to be upset when you spray your teeth all over her. Now all I'm asking is that you not talk during this movie. That way you can leave without any major dental problems or trauma to your children."

  • April 20, 2007, 11:55 p.m. CST

    The general public are assholes....

    by pdennett316

    it's really that simple. When 90% of people walk out their front door their IQ suddenly drops 50 points and they turn into fucking wankers. I've worked in a video store and have seen just how fucking stupid some people are. Like the guy who was asking his 8 year old son what film he's rather watch, The Exorcist or some other 18 rated film I cant remember. As for cinemas, I saw one of the LOTR films and an entire classroom full of 12 year olds sat in the 2 rows in front of me. They spent the entire time texting each other from one end of the row to the other, all the while the teacher escorting them had this sort of dead-eyed stare that never really changed. Behind me was a LOTR geek and her boyfriend who spent the entire film pointing out the stuff that was different from the book, then at the end sending the long suffering boyfriend out to purchase tickets for the next show while she waited. For me, the worst offenders in a cinema are kids, closely followed by chatty-arse women with their shitty mobiles. Cunts, the lot of them.

  • April 21, 2007, 12:04 a.m. CST

    It's all about timing

    by theoneofblood

    Yes, sadly the megaplexes have mostly crushed the quieter, more civilized movie venues. Here in Perth, Western Australia, there are a few things I've learned over my movie-going life. <p> 1) NEVER watch a popular movie on a Friday night. Everyone is unwinding from the week and feels privileged to act like an asshole. Wait until it is nice and early on a Saturday, the only people who attend then will be the elderly, who know when to shut and just watch a fucking film. <p> 2) Zero tolerance for fucknuts. Report to the manager, make a nuisance of yourself. I nothing happens after two attempts, leave and get a refund. <p> 3) Choose your films wisely. The key idea is to think like your enemy. In this case the cockmunching audience member. Try to imagine what sort of person this is. Are they borderline retarded teenagers, knuckle-dragging gangstas or ignorant child-shitting whores? What kind of movies would they watch? What time would they see said films? Where would they sit? <p> Use these simple edicts and you can avoid 90% of irritating audience stupidity.

  • April 21, 2007, 12:19 a.m. CST

    Lotusblade: I meant...

    by amrisharmpit

    that with the gigantic budgets of many films, studios have to take steps to recoup the costs, and these steps are having a trickle-down effect on the consumer experience. I think the studios are one part of the problem, but certainly not the only one. And it sounds like you have a sweet setup there. :)

  • April 21, 2007, 12:21 a.m. CST

    My local cinema is generally ok

    by bender7

    At the right times. But Quint is right about it being the number one reason why attendance is down in theatres. It's the reason why I have never gone to a opening week for a film in years. I even now just prefer to wait for movies I really want to see to come to DVD. The basic fact is that the big screen experience no matter how good can just as easily be a completley crappy experience if people are morons. The worst are people who quiet during the action scenes but decided that any quiet moment or peices of character developing dialougue is their que to start a conversation.

  • April 21, 2007, 12:28 a.m. CST

    whatever quint... you are being a baby.

    by wolvenom

    If it bothers you that much go sit somewhere else. A couple rows away or whatever. I hate people talking to but I dont fucking aggravate them by cursing and telling them to 'shut the fuck up'... lead by example Quint. If you think what they were doing was wrong then tell them to PLEASE be quiet. If they don't shut up warn them again or tell the manager directly thereafter. Don't fucking curse at them in public. For example, on more than a few occasions people have felt the need to jitterly and obsessively kick the back of my chair. I don't turn around tell them 'hey motherfucker stop kicking my motherfucking chair.' Why not you ask?!? Because then if i stay sitting in that chair (which I wouldn't) I'm going to dread the uncomfortable thickness in the air that's separating the few inches between us even if he stops kicking my chair. But we all know from human behavior that he won't after such an abrasive reaction. On the Contrary, he will probably continue to kick it harder. So learn to behave in public quint. Don't treat people how you dont feel you should be treated.

  • April 21, 2007, 1:04 a.m. CST

    Theaters with no cell signal

    by Jack Gladney

    I have been in a number of theaters and had no bars on my cell (I look when I turn the ringer off before the movie starts), mostly in high-end Lowes Theaters like the one in Boston Common. I'd imagine they're intentionally built to reduce reception. Also, my favorite annoying audience comment was during Slither. Somebody pointed out that Nathan Fillion was the next Bruce Campbell during the last act. I probably would have been pissed about hearing it, but the guy was right and I at least had to appreciate that.

  • April 21, 2007, 2:07 a.m. CST

    Hello Theater Managers

    by Laszlo Kovacs

    Quint, beautiful article, man. I'm in 100% agreement with the sentiment being expressed by filmgoers in the talkbacks. Noise - talking, cellphones, LEDs from phones - are the reason I do not patronize movie theaters regularly anymore. Dear Theater Managers: listen to your customers. There's a reason there have been 275 some odd responses so far. I know you're only human and just trying to do your jobs, but we're telling you why attendance is down, way down. I'm a huge movie fan, but I only patronize a theater 4 or 5 times a year now. In my teens and 20s, I was at the multiplex 48 to 60 times a year. No, that has nothing to do with any lifestyle changes. I still watch dozens a movies a year, but Netflix has earned my business with their devotion to customer satisfaction. Theater managers, you guys have to do better at making legit customers feel comfortable in your venues.

  • April 21, 2007, 2:07 a.m. CST

    AMEN BROTHER!!!!

    by i eat cannibals

    I never go to opening night of a movie anymore cause the savages can't keep their freakin yap shut. God for bid the movie be pg-13...you can forget about watching the movie. You have some 14 year old girl on her phone text messaging her boyfriend or other idiot friends. When I saw King Kong this family behind me wouldn't stop talking and when this black girl told them to shut up. The White woman was like.."you can't talk to my babies like that." I kid you not they startled brawling right there in Kong. Not a manager in sight. Skippy the usher came in and took one look at the two women on the ground and high tailed it out of there. The womens kids started crying. It was freaking hilarious but come on. SHUT UP PEOPLE WHEN YOU GO TO THE MOVIES. PLEASE!!!!

  • April 21, 2007, 2:12 a.m. CST

    Dasher

    by lotusblade

    How does increasing budgets effect us? I mean maybe I just don't understand... I just don't see the relation. Theaters are filled with rude people because budgets are high? It just doesn't make sense to me. Personally I think adding BEER to every theater would help out in many ways for theaters to make money. However, with current staff situations it wouldn't be a wise move.

  • April 21, 2007, 2:25 a.m. CST

    Bitterman, if you read this site a lot

    by Barry Egan

    you will find that Harry himself has frequently taken his young nephew to films that are age innapropriate. It has been the subject of a lot of debate in the talkbacks.

  • April 21, 2007, 2:43 a.m. CST

    I don't know about you guys...

    by ZombieisaDouche

    ...but what pisses me off the most is the simple fact that whatever movie you're seeing, it's only new ONCE, you know what I'm saying? After that intital viewing, the newness and the magic are gone. Yeah, fine, go get a free pass and see it again the next day, but it's never the same. It just isn't. So that's my big reason why I avoid the asshole crowds, especially for a movie that I've been dying to see.

  • April 21, 2007, 2:49 a.m. CST

    The art-house assholes

    by pont

    Most of the experiences people have been having are in multiplexes, with generally uninformed idiots. Granted, I've had millions of those experiences, but apperantly idiocy and a lack of common decency isn't limited to the multiplex crowd. Case-in-point: I waited a couple of weeks to see Shortbus last year after it came out, most because of the nature of the film I just felt i'd be more comfortable in a theater where I wasn't elbow to elbow with the men and women who chose to see it. Part of that was because the Landmark I went to see it at is right next to Chicago's Boy's Town, a quite swishy gay neighborhood. Normally the people there are lovely, wonderful, film-passionate people, but I knew going to a movie that had a large gay audience built in, I was going to get some assholes. (You could think of this as the gay-spiderman as far as event movies for the gay community.) So i'm there, at the LAST fucking screening at that theater, on a thursday at 10:30, and the problems arise quickly. I get coffee before the movie so I'll be alert, and by the time I arrive at the theater (about 20 minutes before showtime) I need to use the bathroom. I put my jacket down on ONE seat, in a nearly empty row, and go use their facilities. As I come back in, i'm following an older gentleman and a woman, the woman proceeds to walk right into my row (ahead of me) PICK UP my fucking jacket, and ask loudly to her platonic male companion "What is this?!" I say, "Oh, that's mine, I'm sitting there." She tosses the jacket at me and sits down in the seat i'd saved. I really don't feel like confronting her because she's so clearly an idiot, so I just take a seat a few spaces away from her and her male companion and move on. (Several other people annoyingly and loudly comment on the event and I ignore them.) Then the platonic male companion asks his dear friend if she's seen Godard's "Hail Mary." He does this about as loud as possible, doing THE most pretentious pronounciation of Godard i've ever heard, and beings pontificating on the symbosim of EVERY FUCKING SHOT IN THE MOVIE, and ruining the film for me for life, all the while frequently invoking how Gowe-dARCCCCRHHHHRGHCH "employs SHOCK value to SHOCK his audience into SHOCK!" I move. The only space in the theater that's not populated now is the floor section, which in this theater is comparatively closer than in most. I take the back row of that section and try to forget it all, and just relax so I'll be able to concentrate on the movie. After a Turner Classics movie commericial, I figure I'm home free and I'll get to enjoy the movie without any interuption, and then, the young gay possee pile infront of me. I only mention the sexual orientation of the group because they were so fucking cliche and although i'm not gay, it pains me to no end the amount of homophobia in popular media, and the amount of comedy that's mined out of how icky it supposedly is when two dudes kiss (The Adam Sandler movie that's soon to be released is an example, aswell as Wild Hogs), and so it's doubly upsetting then to see these stereotypes play out in real life. It's not just straight people who are annoyed by the overly-swishy, Dan Savage has a great story about when he was a teenager deciding that although he "knew he'd be some kind of fag," he "knew he didn't want to be <i>that</i> king of fag." You can pick these kids out of any movie negative portarying gays, you got the loud, flock of seagulls hair cut, tight emo t-shirt with unneccesary amounts of glitter and rainbows, you have the enabling accomplice who provides the glitter queen with topics to sqwauk about, and the ever present "fag hag," overweight and just enamored with being with men who don't find her attractive for other reasons than her physical appearance and personality. They oddly shut up when first bit of semen is swallowed (oddly enough when an old couple decides they've had enough of the film altogether), and stay so for the rest of the movie. The platonic male and female jacket throwing/pontificating duo however persist throughout the movie, though it's more faint than it would have been had I not moved. I ended up loving the movie though, and oddly enough it's a movie that's largely about acceptance, which I still couldn't carry out into my judgement of the rest of the people in the theater after the movie. Gay or straight, multiplex or art-house, the assholes are everywhere. I think of the music box in chicago how people seem to think of the draft house in austin. The crowds generally shut the hell up, and that's worth sacrficing a little sound quality and the occasional gaps between reels.

  • April 21, 2007, 2:52 a.m. CST

    Sense we're being honest here... What I see as a major

    by GQtaste

    problem is: You got either punk kids that want to spout off at the mouth to be? I don't know what: cool, in crowd what their friends to think their tough shit. Or their White trash! I"m going to go w/ all of the above. Now, IMO I believe minorities have a huge portion of blame to go around. Folks, they're just different than us! I'm sorry to say but most of you know exactly what i'm saying. They have NO sense of how to act in a public setting. Caveman would better matters. Flame on, but I've seen it time after time. For a hard core buff it's a regilious experience to go out and see a picture. Ever since I was wearing short pants. Simply put, it's a magical experience I can't put into words. And I"m talking about the whole experience. The drive over, thinking about what I'm going to get, whether it's a top-flight film or a piece of shit. Waiting in line, I don't know about you, but one of the most important parts of this for me was the trailers themselves! Sometimes, I'd be more pumped up for coming attractions than I'd be for the actual film itself. I can't tell you how when those previews would start and I'd see something that looked interesting I'd say to my self: Wow, this is going rock my world! For many years I was addicted to pain pills. I liked nothing better than to catch a film I was digging to see and pop three or four 7'5's during and get a coke and enjoy the night! Some, but not all times, that outing would be thrown into whack b/c of some dumbass kids yapping trying to impress some teeiebopper or whatever the fuck. But mostly it seems to me that the minorities that have no wherewithall when it comes to rules of making this a lovely evening. Like many of you it's turned me off. I don't go as often as before. Maybe that has something to do w/ age. I'm 33 now, but for me, going to movies has always been about escape and fantasy that I lust after. It takes me away on a journey that I'll never go on myself in my little world. Look it, I hope I don't take too much shit for this, but I blame two groups: teenagers and minorities. Sad thing is I don't see it getting any better.

  • April 21, 2007, 3:05 a.m. CST

    i think im gonna buy my kids new bikes

    by the_shogun_gunslinger

    because after hearing you guys complain about young kids in theatres mine seem like fucking angels. i can take them to see anything and they dont make a peep. no questions (if they have them, they come after the movie) no running around, no crying...they just sit there and watch the film and enjoy it. <P> there was a funny incedent durring Rocky Balboa when we had these fuckwits a couple rows behind us who kept talking and making jokes. at the moment where Rocky is asking Marie to work at his restaraunt, one of them took the liberty to yell out "DAMN, ROCKY'S A PIMP!" at which point my 8 year old daughter taps my arm and when i looked over she kinda motioned behind us and just rolled her eyes in a very exagerated manner, haha. sad when an 8 year old has more sense and courtasy than a grown man.

  • April 21, 2007, 3:05 a.m. CST

    You want a KICK ASS movie theater experience?

    by Doc_Strange

    Check out Magic Johnson's theaters to see your favorite summer film. Great times indeed, especially the ones in South Central LA!!! No Really.

  • April 21, 2007, 3:07 a.m. CST

    Best movie theater experience I've had.......

    by Doc_Strange

    Probably at the Pacific Theaters in Pasadena at the mall. You can put as much butter on your popcorn as you want, plus refills on the drinks. Haven't had a lot of trouble with people talking there so I'll probably scope the summer flicks there.

  • April 21, 2007, 3:26 a.m. CST

    GQtaste

    by the_shogun_gunslinger

    dude, someone above had the guts to say that too and at the risk of a flame war, i have to say i 100% agre with you. and all you guys can cry racist all you want but bottom line is i married outside of my race, so sorry.

  • April 21, 2007, 3:58 a.m. CST

    Kid with his feet on my chair

    by Dwarves

    This 10yr old boy was sitting alone in an R rated movie right behind me. He kept putting his feet up on the chair and tapping so that you ccould fell it in the whole row. I asked very politly the first time. The second time the little SOB statrted doing it I told him to keep his fucking feet on the floor or I'd come back there and put them on the floor for him. He moved two rows back and to the other side of the theater. Yes, it makes me feel good picking on little kids.

  • April 21, 2007, 4:08 a.m. CST

    For the people saying that blacks aren't the problem

    by GQtaste

    they're either Jessie Jackson or Sharpton. When I was a kid, mind you in Oklahoma i went to see Mo'Money. I'm surprised I got out alive! I'll never go to a black film again. Like I said, their just different than us. I hat to say it, but they're not civalized as the rest of us. They either pull that that thug shit or like stated above. They yell, boisterous, it's almost they get off on pissing people off. Or they want to scare common folk like us. Yes, teenagers are bad, thats why I put them in two groups. Maybe, some on here haven't had the same experiences but to me it's clear as clear can be. And the things is: they don't seem to want to be there anyway so why go? I think it's b/c they don't know any better. And they want to intiminate and take control of the place. But I do find it funny that I've seen post on here stating that it's not blacks so much as it is the kids. And I didn't even dwelve into the dumbass's that bring their newborns to the movies. Whats that about? One time I went to see Hollow man and this Hispanic family sat behind us and their baby cried the whole f'ing time! And the girl I was with had her mom along and she surprised me when I saw that she wasn't having any of it! W/ me I probably woudn't have said anything but the mother opened up my eyes to the fact that people can speak up. But yeah, there are some people in denial on this post! And I better not get banned for speaking the truth b/c justthesame, there is a lot of white trash doing the same goddamn thing!

  • April 21, 2007, 4:24 a.m. CST

    Oh, yeah, speaking of the movie...

    by BannedOnTheRun

    Definitely see Kontroll. Sharks and Jets... in Hungary... on a train.

  • April 21, 2007, 4:33 a.m. CST

    WOW YOU TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH!!!

    by MentallyMariah

    I sat down at the 8:15 Vacancy at the theatre I usually go to because it's close to home, big shopping mall, 20 plex theatre..as the previews were starting and the late comers arrived, I sensed this Ghetto Vibe, meaning no offense to any race or anything but I sensed there was going to be allot of talkers, cell phone bullshit, so I just BOOKED it and traveled Downtown to a more Obsure theatre to see Vacancy at 9:15, I knew this was going to be a intense thriller and years of moviegoing experience has taught me FRIDAY NIGHT HORROR/THRILLER at the wrong theatre will attract the MOTHER FUCKING CUNTS that will destroy even something like a HORROR MOVIE, Listen when I went to see Grindhouse at the same theatre, everyone was quiet, into it, applauding and laughing but certain horror movies do Attract that henious audience that ruins it for everyone..anyways so I went to this other theatre, found a seat 3 rows from the front, it was 80 percent full, then all of a sudden when Kate and Luke get to the creepy motel, in stomps 6 people, couples with a shit load of candy and nachos, they started eating...I got some Repulsed by the sound of them eating, I moved to the back of the theatre...funny, once the shit hit the fan these fucking 6 loud chomping Junk Food Whore Bitches Fled in Fear from the theatre...couldnt' handle it Pussies or they just all had to take a SHIT at once from the crap they were eating.. I FUCKING HATE TALKERS, CELL PHONE TALKERS that seriously hold long conversations in the front row, or people that dont' walk out fully and you can hear them echoing their conversations, or the gansta fuckers that SSSSh each other into a game of ssshing and the ones that should stupid things back at the screen...come on if you are going to shout something, make it clever not stupid, okay I am done ranting, with that being said I EFFFING LOVED VACANCY, it was scary, and INTENSE...I highly suggest watching this with a cool crowd...just look around and feel the vibe, you will know when you see the stompers, the jackasses, then leave, No great movie experience should be destroyed by these fuckers... they Need Stun Guns at these theatres! seriously!

  • April 21, 2007, 5:22 a.m. CST

    Quit whining, talking in movies is ok. It's about ME!

    by Triumph poops!

    Right now I have 19 words in mind and they are "I want a huge ass HD plasma TV coupled with a great sound system and I want it now." Of course I could add "And remember to pick up that big theater-like popcorn cart they have at Costco while you're at it", but that's a matter of personal taste and what you like to chomp on during your movies.<p>But seriously -- and sadly -- while I grew up loving the classic theater experience of being around people for that quintessential group effect, my next major bank draining will definitely be to create one helluva home theater system. Frankly, I've given up on modern audiences. There's just too many rude kids kicking at seats and whose parents seem pathetically incapable of teaching their brats proper public manners anymore... there's too many smart ass teens who'd rather pop open their cell phones and text each other DURING a movie... there's too many young parents who think its fine to bring a crying INFANT into a theater... and there's certainly waaaaaay too many 20 and 30-somethings who think its cool to talk back to the screen or amongst themselves, at a normal speaking level, with absolutely no regard to anyone around them. The truth is these morons no longer think of it as a communal MOVIE experience, but rather a lame ass communal "we're all at home watching TV on the same couch" experience -- hence any and all distractions are now justified.<p>So, Quint, nice rant and you're absolutely, positively right. Unfortunately I also have absolutely, positively NO faith AT ALL in theater owners ever getting their act together, not at this late a date. And even if they did, I'm afraid we've already groomed one generation too many who think it's perfectly fine to be a complete ass in public. After all, as we all know from reality TV and whatnot, BEING a spectacle and drawing attention to oneself is the MOST important thing in today's self-centered world. So face it, movies are simply on the front line and paying the price for all the "It's about ME!" generations that are out there, and that we forgot to bitchslap upside the head along the way...

  • April 21, 2007, 5:57 a.m. CST

    Quint's idea of a snappy comeback...

    by Judas Remains

    Is the real torture porn. And as for this being your job? It'd be awesome if you started doing that, 1885 words and you managed to give a very basic plot summary and few bland adjectives. But just for clarity, I do apologize if you write for something a slight bit more reputatable then a web site notorious for being wrong, a good 70% of the time. I must of simply messed all those movie reviews attributed to a guy that couldn't survive a meeting with a shark named Bruce.

  • April 21, 2007, 6:20 a.m. CST

    I never go anymore because of the crowd

    by zekmoe

    Full of homeboys, spades, dumb chicks on cells, fat slobs eating gross amounts of food for 2 hrs straight..the list goes on and on. It's a collection of the great unwashed and uneducated. Real movie fans have real home theaters, and watch them as intended. I voted that the experience sucks by not going anymore. I don't mind seeing a movie 3 months later anyway. There's plenty to do in the mean time. Plus the sound is always better at my house.

  • April 21, 2007, 8:33 a.m. CST

    Lotusblade: the studio problem

    by amrisharmpit

    What I meant is that the studios are putting films on extra screens and at extra showtimes, which leads to many more people coming to the theater. With the increased cost of making films, the studios have to take an even bigger portion of the box-office, leaving less revenue for the theaters, which means they can't hire new staff (ushers) or pay their current workers better salaries. That's also why theaters have to raise prices on tickets and concessions - so they can stay in business. The small window between release date and DVD doesn't help either. The jerkoffs who are rude don't care if they miss portions of it since they'll just go out and rent or buy the film on DVD shortly after. And too many of the films being made are sequels, remakes, comic-book adaptations, theme-park rides, or just absolute CRAP - all of which has been overmarketed, overpublicized, and downloaded by audiences before they even set foot in the theater. So what do you wind up with from all of this? A theater that's overcrowded and understaffed, employees that are underpaid, films that are overproduced, an audience that's underwhelmed - and everyone, from the ticket-taker to the guy sitting next to you, BORED by the entire experience.

  • April 21, 2007, 8:48 a.m. CST

    Once I get a HUGE LCD widescreen for home...

    by JDanielP

    ...the theatres may not see me again. And releasing the movies on dvd on opening night of the theatrical release is a great idea, as I'd pick up more dvds right away.

  • April 21, 2007, 9:02 a.m. CST

    IF YOU LIKE TO TALK DURING THE MOVIE, LEAVE NOW.

    by JDanielP

    Your money will be refunded.

  • April 21, 2007, 9:13 a.m. CST

    IF WE HEAR YOU TALK, WHISPER, OR EVEN CRUNCH POPCORN...

    by JDanielP

    ...YOU WILL BE ASKED TO LEAVE.

  • April 21, 2007, 9:15 a.m. CST

    Theatres should have all kinds of signs posted...

    by JDanielP

    ...to be very clear.

  • April 21, 2007, 9:18 a.m. CST

    A dress code might help keep out the punks. But then,

    by JDanielP

    what theatre would make THAT change?

  • April 21, 2007, 9:25 a.m. CST

    General coarsening of society

    by Veganzomby

    Let's face it, inconsiderate people in theaters is just an extension of the vulgarity and incivility of our society in general. 20 years ago you didn't have people driving down the street blaring music filled with hardcore profanities. You didn't hate hatemongers like Ann Coulter or Michael Savage prominently displayed on the TV and radio, where they say absolutely disgusting things about people. You didn't have gated communities and an attempt to privatize all public spaces and services. There has been a steady and purposely deterioration of the sense of community, beginning with Ronald Reagan's radical and extremist presidency. Technology that encourage private enjoyment in one's home, like video games and dvd players and the Internet, and technology that lets you ignore the outside world even while in it, like Ipods and cell phones, also contribute to the end of the public sphere as a common good. It's all about hyperindividuality. Not that there is any excuse of rude behavior like talking in theaters, but frankly I don't see things getting better, but rather worse. My wife and I have our 96 inch home theater with surround sound, and we use it more and more to avoid the craptastic world we find ourselves in. Yeah, we could fight the deterioration of everything good and decent into one corporate clusterfuck, but frankly the older we get, the less we are inclined to do so. May all the rude theater talkers catch bird flu and die. Maybe that will solve the problem.

  • April 21, 2007, 9:39 a.m. CST

    good job gunslinger

    by occula

    at least we know there's one guy out there who's raised his kids right!

  • April 21, 2007, 9:52 a.m. CST

    theatre complaints

    by DangerPete

    newsflash: most movie theatre customers are jerks and/or idiots. until the general public realizes theatres barely make any money off ticket prices (then complain as to why the prices in concession are so high) then it is always going to be easy to blame the people at the theatre for 'not doing their job'. should anybody under the age of 12 be in an r rated movie? probably not and it is important to enforce that only if you like getting yelled and at by inbred hicks who think taking a 6 year old to texas chainsaw massacre is appropriate. and unfortunately most talking complaints i ever received as a manager could never be confirmed as to who was making the noise. so it would have been nice to kick alleged noise-makers out unless management or any other staff authorized to tell paying customers to shut up actually witness them making noise it is just another "he was making noise" "no i wasn't, they were being rude to me" "okay just be quiet" conversation because yes-movie theatre owners/head office management are jerks. they will often ignore what their own staffs are saying just because some customer complained about something. expecting a thetre staff whose upper management is constantly telling them to cut back on payroll to have an employee babysit an entire auditorium full of people is ridculous. and really, you're paying between $8-$12 for each ticket, how much service are you asking for? guess what? you are being helped by people usually only making a mere pittance compared to what the jerks at the top get for only deciding when prices should be raised. if it is an independently run theatre than they only have their customers and potential word of muth customers to answer to but if it is a nig chain theatre like most are they have corporate people who are so far removed from real theatre experience they come up with new and exciting cost-cutting measures to make themselves more money at the top then wonder why the induvidual locations are getting complaints for poor service. of course, if movie compaines stopped wasting money on all aspects of production and let up on the amount of proffit they claim from inital ticket sales maybe people would stop pirating movies and go back to the theatres with well paid employees who give a shit. theatres need to clean up their acts and enforce r-rated and no taking where applicable but attacking the end result of problems that can be solved from the top is pointless

  • April 21, 2007, 9:53 a.m. CST

    theatre

    by DangerPete

    yes-working at a movie theatre USED to be fun

  • April 21, 2007, 10:25 a.m. CST

    THANKS, QUINT. A RANT IN IT'S PLACE!!

    by Cult Exiter

    WOULD BE INTERESTING TO KNOW, IF IT IS ANY DIFFERENT IN SOME OTHER COUNTRIES/CULTURES? SAY, IN CHINA, JAPAN, INDIA? ITALY, FRANCE, GERMANY? The shit is the same where I live, though. ALWAYS A FEW MORONS DISTURBING THE FORCE...<p>ANOTHER PLAGUE IS THE SEAT POKING WITH FEET! The next time either one happens to me... I'll go all Spartan on the douchebag/bitch, yelling "TONIGHT! WE CHAT/POKE IN HELL!!!

  • April 21, 2007, 11:18 a.m. CST

    To "igotbigballs"

    by Veganzomby

    Are you actually the man who sat behind Quint, or is your message some kind of joke?

  • April 21, 2007, 11:26 a.m. CST

    Stockholm here. Not that anyone will read this...

    by BenBraddock

    Not so bad here, Swedes are on the whole pretty quiet most of the time. But please, Mr.Projectionist, could you do your job and fix the focus before the movie starts, not 10 minutes in? I don't want to have to leave my seat to tell you that the film is blurred..

  • April 21, 2007, 11:49 a.m. CST

    Amen. Its the reason I dont go anymore

    by Teamwak

    Movies should be watched with total concentration and respect for the medium. I much prefer to watch at home on my big screen as I know there will be no unwelcome disruptions. <p> Thanks for saying it, Quint. About time this debate was had!!

  • April 21, 2007, 11:59 a.m. CST

    My kids, swearing, and cameras

    by jkong42

    First of all my 6 year old child sat through LOTR without saying a peep. If a kid can sit quietly that long so should an adult. Second if your at a PG movie, its please be quiet; PG13, its shut up, finally R is shut the fuck up. Don't be shocked, regardless of your age, if you hear curse words during a R rated movie. And finally if people took cameras to theatres and photo'd talkers. I'd log on to a website to see pics of talkers in my area.Its easier to handle talkers when they're in front of you than behind. One "accidental" pop spill, and more than just my movie experience is ruined.

  • April 21, 2007, 12:20 p.m. CST

    jkong42

    by Veganzomby

    Though I share your loathing of theater talkers, there's never any good reason for saying "Shut the fuck up" to anyone. You can convey the same request with "Please be quiet." Doesn't matter what the movie's rating is. Why sink to the level of the fool you're talking to? Also, though it may feel satisfying to curse at someone, you're likely to get better results with a polite request than an insult, human nature being what it is. Do you want to spend the whole movie bickering, or with a hostile person behind you? Not to mention you're asking for a fight against someone who may be armed or simply a vicious streetfighter. It's not worth it, and I say that as a guy who spent years practicing full contact martial arts sparring and still boxes once a week.

  • April 21, 2007, 12:32 p.m. CST

    I have the solution

    by DirkD13"

    We, the talkbackers of the world, all need to get jobs in cinemas (theaters). As we're all movie geeks we'd at least respect fellow moviegoers enough to ensure the best experience possible.<p>Of course I expect alot of us would need to take a massive pay cut to work in a cinema, even as a manager.

  • April 21, 2007, 12:40 p.m. CST

    Theater experience in Japan

    by NHRonin

    While this observation is obviously dated, I saw Jurassic Park at a theater in Okinawa in it's initial release. Japanese theaters are odd because they run the films basically non-stop and you can show up at any time and watch the movie. People show up in the middle and stay to watch the beginning until the point that they walked in and then leave. It's pretty annoying to have people coming and going throughout the film. They were very quiet though other than gasps, etc. reacting to the film. There were also no cell phones yet so everything could have changed.

  • April 21, 2007, 12:43 p.m. CST

    Im black and....

    by lecter1914

    To an extent I agree with most of you that there is a problem with minorities such as myself who tend to be less than considerate of the movie going experience, but it's a total crock to act like minorities ARE the problem. Yes, on many occassions, I have been at the theatre and the "blacks" because face it, thats who you are referring too, are pretty much loud and obnoxious. But, I've had the same experience with majority white audiences as well. 28 Days later...white woman brings in her babies...and they cry the whole time...300...How many white meat heads can you tolerate screaming THIS IS SPARTA during the entire film. I won't even go into the nightmare experience that was Snakes On A Plane with what felt like 1,000's of white geeks all creting their own dialogue during the whole fucking movie. The list can go on and on of bad experiences with caucasain viewers during movies. Not saying that us blacks arent a problem, but its a universal problem...we're just louder I guess.

  • April 21, 2007, 12:45 p.m. CST

    Generation Buttcrack

    by NHRonin

    The teenage punks today have no respect for anyone. Sure, its always been that way but it seems to get worse with each generation. I think it's the sugar and preservatives in food; it makes them angry for no reason.

  • April 21, 2007, 12:46 p.m. CST

    There's a great book about this subject.....

    by amrisharmpit

    I wanted to recommend a book to all of you about this very topic we are talking about. It's called "A Year at the Movies," written by Kevin Murphy of MST3K fame. In 2001, he attended a film every single day and wrote about his experiences. It's one of my favorite books. I laughed MY ASS off at some of his observations. Let's just say they are very similar to what is being said here. He says multiplex theaters have become like airports. People are herded through them like cattle, stare saucer-eyed at the screen, then emerge into daylight, unaffected by what they've just seen. He actually stops to ask two dumb-ass teenagers if they liked "Dude, Where's My Car?" and TEES OFF on how bad "Corky Romano" is. He also criticizes the pretentiousness of certain film festivals like Sundance and Cannes. Give this book a read - you will enjoy it.

  • April 21, 2007, 12:48 p.m. CST

    Barry Egan

    by BitterMan23

    I never noticed that about Harry and his nephew, but it seems to me most of Harry's theater behavior is reprehensible (puking in a bucket, remaining in chair) so it doesn't surprise me.

  • April 21, 2007, 12:49 p.m. CST

    agree with Dasher

    by BitterMan23

    Fantastic book. Not as consistently funny as one might expect given the pedigree, but the chapter on Corky Romano alone is funnier than most 'humor' books. My personal favorite: When he sneaks an entire thanksgiving dinner into the theater on thanksgiving.

  • April 21, 2007, 1:05 p.m. CST

    I only go to the movies...

    by mrtwig48

    ...during the afternoon and about 3+ weeks after the movie has opened to try to avoid all of the talking and what not. I saw Capote (a good but boring movie only for 40+ year olds) in the theater and a lady brought 4 middle school aged kids to watch it. Of course they ended up right behind me and found the movie boring. Then what happens next.....talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. Fucking hate going to movies now.

  • April 21, 2007, 1:09 p.m. CST

    And While we're at it!!!

    by lecter1914

    Some asshole up top posted something along the lines of "we'll you have to excuse talking during movies like SNakes on a Plane." Fuck that. YOu guys are all crying about us "black People" talking during movies, but then turn around and create these stupid double standards. We're no worse than some high hippies spouting out every fucking line to Napoleon Dynamite because it was their fifth time seeing it while us first timers could barely hear what was coming from the screen. Or, going to see Harry Potter with some friends and all you hear during the movie is "Where's WInky!" Or "Dobby gave him the GillyWeed!" or "What about Spew!" Or during Star Wars...I'm not even going into the prequel movie experience...thats an essay. So once again...you cannot say its "the black people" ruining movies when everyone else is just as guilty in one way or another.

  • April 21, 2007, 1:16 p.m. CST

    Home Theater Systems...

    by idahomer

    are relatively inexpensive. I bought a "box set" Sony for $500 five years ago. I've since upgraded the DVD and added a $1600 Samsung 42" DPL. But the receiver is great and the speakers are fine. You can adust the speaker distance, compression, yada yada yada. I cannot tell the difference from systems that are $2000-3000. But my hearing is not as keen as some.<p> But you don't have to go broke to set up a decent Home Theater. In fact, I think I'm gonna watch the opening of "Saving Private Ryan" right now.

  • April 21, 2007, 2:01 p.m. CST

    Star Trek 1 to 4 1987

    by The True Priapic

    I guess everyone has stories like this but most of the above tales have made me feel ashamed for the tales I will tell below.... It was '87 I think,and my best friend and I went to a late late all night showing of Trek movies 1 to 4.It was in Leicester,England,Uk.We weren't big fans but liked the movies (especially Khan).It was absolutely fucking packed.Difficult to find a seat.Then it began...obviosly we were quite young and my mate had just passed his driving licence so we must have been the only sober people there(actually there was at least 1 other,but later on him...)As soon as the Motion picture began everyone cheered.Good vibe,I thought.Then it got to KIrk pleading with Bones about Spock "Bones! I NEED HIM!" cue loud voice "SHIT STABBER".The rest of us roared(maybe it was just that everyone was in a fun lively mood but this guy,THIS GUY....just went on and on for FOUR films so that it had actually become audience participation to shout at the screen.Best heckle?Scotty standing with his nephews burned body on the bridge,Kirk turns sees Scotty,Uhura gasps..."DINNER IS SERVED!" It just beats out one guys magnificently timed fart while Spock dies and turns away from KIrk."PhHHHHHHHHHH!"KIrk "...no...." At the end of the night/early morning we got to the end of Voyage Home.AS the enterprise A is revealed "My,friends....we've come home" one lone Trekkie tood up and started clapping.Oh I bet he wished he hadn't.He was laughed at by the entire cinema for it.Talk about pack mentality,eh?Poor chap. Although I must admit that I went to a preview of Spawn that was packed to the gills and was stuck up against a wall and couldn't get out because of the size of the guys sitting next to me.I had to sit through the whole piece of shit.I'm sure it's responsible for rotting away what brain I ever had......................Also..that same friend and I went to an early screening of Schindlers List and an old woman kept jabbering to her obviously ashamed son about how "he's going to die next.","Oh,I bet she dies!" and it set me and said pal off like giggling schoolboys.I think it was the intensity of the situation of HAVING to show forced respect during that of all movies.The looks we got as we left the theatre will stay with me forever.The rest of the cinema left in total silence as if they'd attended a burial.And there we were laughing our asses off...for reasons that still evade me.We deserved the looks,I know.But everyone has had one of THOSE fits of uncontrollable laughter....................Personally going to the cinema in England is a fucking nightmare.Anyone with any sense will catch a film at a time like 5pm or during the day as anything that starts from 7pm is a surefire guarantee of a'red mist' night out.............the 'pack mentality' can work though.Take for example,the three Lord of the Rings screenings in Leicester Square I went to.We went to each films first public showing and the charged atmosphere was just great.Only at KIng did some cunt bring out a laser pen.An Aussie voice erupted "PUT THAT OFF OR I FUCKING WILL"(or something close to it.THe whole place aplauded,light pen disappeared but Christ,there could'a been a lynching. If you think Western cinemas are bad try China.It's an experience.There's no age limits.Everyone speaks on their phones....!!!!LOcal resident complained to the papers about Curse of the Golden Flower being pornographic.She'd taken offense at Gong Li's bust.She'd also taken her fucking 5 year old kid(who apparently started crying at Mdme.Gong Li's Gongs.Maybe felt hungry.I know what he felt like.

  • April 21, 2007, 2:11 p.m. CST

    GOOD LUCK AND GOOD NIGHT

    by i eat cannibals

    Worst movie experience with a theatre filled with morons. girl behind me all move..."I don't get what is going on?...Is he a Russian?...Who's Truman?...What's a communist?...this is boring?...Why is this in black and white?...I wish i could smoke at my job?....DUMB FUCKERS.

  • April 21, 2007, 2:19 p.m. CST

    Sign the petition! Stop the talking!

    by moviemecca

    http://tinyurl.com/25mg8n Take back the joy of going to the movies!

  • April 21, 2007, 2:20 p.m. CST

    Someone I know refuses to see the 20th anniversary Ed

    by emeraldboy

    of ET. Why turn guns into walkie talkies. The berg said it was 9/11. bollocks Steven! I still dont understand it today. The original scene where Keys and his men are standing outside Eliots house. That was creepy, sinister and very cool at the same time.

  • April 21, 2007, 2:36 p.m. CST

    I think the only solution to this problem...

    by Kraken

    Is Tim League (creator of the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema) should be in charge of every movie theater in the world. The End.

  • April 21, 2007, 2:37 p.m. CST

    Problem Solved

    by tygrus2000

    ...when I got my home theatre. In fact, I couldn't care less if all theatres closed up shop right now. When I was a kid, we were full of energy too and trying to rebel a bit, but we always had respect for others. In my opinion, 300 animals (read people) should never be stuffed into a small space for 3 hours anyway. I like movies like the rest, but they are not that good that I can't wait 3 more months for DVD to watch in my own home: No parking hassles, punk kids, talking, cell phones, piss stained bathroom and no sky concession prices. So nobody is clapping and chearing with me, who cares. Also, I miss the drive in. You can't imagine the privacy of one's own vehicle and private speaker and if you hate the movie, you have your own little place to do all the things nobody wants to see.

  • April 21, 2007, 3:07 p.m. CST

    THATS BULLSHIT

    by lecter1914

    Okay, the Last movie I saw at the Magic Johnson Theatre was X3. It was packed with the "black people" and there was not a single interruption of the movie that wasn't warranted by an "OH shit" moment during the film. This has become total bullshit. The worst movie experiences I have encountered have come from the downtown theatres on 42nd St. and the village area which are populated by mostly white people. Imnot saying that on occassion the black people (I'm black by the way) don't act out, but the worst experiences have come from predominantly white audiences. Once again as I said in a previous post....nothing could ever be as nightmarish as the multitudes of white patrons that refused to let me and my black friends enjoy snakes on a plane because they just had to interject their own dialogue into the film.

  • April 21, 2007, 3:09 p.m. CST

    STFU is always needed

    by liljuniorbrown

    You have to fight fire with fire. Kind of the "SwordFish" technique, make it so hard on these pricks when they disrupt your movie that they can almost not concieve of doing it again. It's a world wide deal, even going as far as people using cell phones at funerals and weddings. I had to have ushers at my wedding take someone out for using the phone during the ceremony and that was after the pastor made an annoucement to cut the phones off. The low lifes now just don't care. I'm signing the pettition and doing everything in my power to spread the word,if we boycotted the big Summer Blockbuster's if only just for the opening weekends we could shut this mother down!!!! Seriously though,if someone would open a chain of theaters with no talking allowed,no cell phones and very limited children outside of childrens movies t would make a fortune. Can you imagine the money a theater owner could make when the consumer buys tickets knowing there won't be any "gangsta wannabe's" on dates, screaming children,loud cell phone talkers,teenagers running looseor anything of that kind ruining there night? A private owned theater with set rules and regulations followed without exception, it would be Heaven on earth.

  • April 21, 2007, 3:22 p.m. CST

    Race matters

    by Veganzomby

    lecter1914, the last talker I had to quiet down was a 20-something white kid. He shot me a dirty look after my second and more emphatic "Quiet!" but he kept quiet. That said, here in D.C. I avoid the theater at Union Station because it gets a lowlife noisy crowd that is predominantly black. What does that mean? Hell if I know. I'll say this one more time. Telling people to "Shut the fuck up" is an invitation to a fight, and these days you don't know if the person you set off will have a knife or a gun. Besides, even in "only" a fistfight, you can fall and hit your head and then spend the rest of your life drooling in a wheelchair. Is it worth it?

  • April 21, 2007, 3:25 p.m. CST

    Okay Orcus

    by lecter1914

    I'm sorry you had a bad experience. I'm just saying that on a whole, I dont believe the MJ theatre in Harlem is the only one where a large fight has broken out. I really hate the fact that alot of people on here have turned it into a "black people are bad at movies" thing when that's not the case. Yes, black people can occassionally be disruptive at the movies. Well guess what...so can stupid blondes who thought they were going to get to see Leonardo take his shirt off and all they get is a story about africans being mistreated to collect diamonds. This is not a black people being disruptive at movies thing, its a people being disruptive at movies thing. And besides....if I had to point to an ethnic group....it would be the hispanics because they always have to translate for the one who can't speak english..other than that...its a people thing, not a race thing.

  • April 21, 2007, 3:28 p.m. CST

    Well Veganzomby

    by lecter1914

    you said crowd. That means a whole lot of them. Not just one or two bad apples. My point is, go to a movie with a crowd of obnoxious whiteboys(girls) and you can have an equally bad movie going experience. And maybe just approaching someone you dont know with a "shut the fuck up" might get you a punch in the face. How about a dirty look or something slightly more polite.

  • April 21, 2007, 3:50 p.m. CST

    drewlicious, we had a phone scambler in our cinema

    by Talkbacker with no name

    well was told by a fellow projectionist we did but was never turned on! WTF! use it damn it!

  • April 21, 2007, 3:56 p.m. CST

    dogapeandman2 you are the kind of prick...

    by Talkbacker with no name

    we are talking about! Why do you feel the need to ruin a movie by shouting out dumb shit? You need a good kick in the bollocks!

  • April 21, 2007, 3:56 p.m. CST

    Dirty looks and other fight inducers

    by Veganzomby

    Lecter1914, before I really learned how to fight, and thus respect of danger inherent in two full grown people pounding each other, I used to shoot dirty looks and mouth off at talkers. Now, I keep it polite but firm. The number one rule of fighting that I was taught was, don't do it unless you must. That said, I always have at least one non-lethal weapon on me (legal, too) at all times, but I ALWAYS assume that any potential antagonist has something worse. I'll die to protect my wife, but I won't die for a frackin' movie.

  • April 21, 2007, 4:05 p.m. CST

    Orcus, So i was told

    by Talkbacker with no name

    But never saw one myself though. But yeah that could be the reason they don't have it turned on.

  • April 21, 2007, 4:21 p.m. CST

    Headsets

    by Talkbacker with no name

    They are supplied by the theater and handed back in by the user on the way out.

  • April 21, 2007, 4:31 p.m. CST

    Do headsets give you surround sound?

    by Veganzomby

    What's it like seeing a movie with cutting edge sound while wearing a headset. I can't see it being as satisfying.

  • April 21, 2007, 5:30 p.m. CST

    dogapeandman2, no

    by Talkbacker with no name

    not really. thought it was pretty lame. But i wouldn't spoil it for people who paid good money to watch it though! You are not really such a fucking goof are you?

  • April 21, 2007, 5:31 p.m. CST

    Veganzomby, no idea

    by Talkbacker with no name

    Never tried them. They work with the persons hearing aid is all i know.

  • April 21, 2007, 5:35 p.m. CST

    This is the first TB in history that I read all the way

    by JohnnyS2

    And it's over 500 posts. Amen to you Quint. I go to Sheepshead Bay 16 here in Brooklyn, NYC. I've been going for almost 15 years, and it sucks in terms of getting to know people since it's an ever-rotating staff of managers and workers, but I've quit going on weekends. It's close to a huge Russian population, so these fuckers can't keep their traps shut. My prime spot is probably Tuesday or Wednesday in the afternoon. Dead calm since all the trash of the world is still at home. My biggest pet peeve are people KICKING your fucking chair. I mean, jesus, how easy is to keep your feet at least a bit stationery for 90+ minutes? That's why I only sit in the back row. Going to the movies is become more of an ordeal than a fun experience nowadays. Sickening.

  • April 21, 2007, 5:43 p.m. CST

    occula

    by the_shogun_gunslinger

    haha thanks. funny how kids turn out when you dont OD them on fast food and fucking coffee before their out of gradeschool. i swear to god, the next time i see a 7 year old order a fucking latte i'm going to punch their mother in the face. no wonder these kids cant sit quietly for 2 hours and grow up to be self-important abortions.

  • April 21, 2007, 5:57 p.m. CST

    Valley View Cinemark is the FUCKING SHIT!

    by Harry Weinstein

    Personally I think Cleveland is a miserable place, with soul-devastating winters, a place I manage to escape from, barely... but damn, does it have some top shelf movie theaters. Valley View Cinemark. Cedar Lee. Cleveland Cinematheque. Many styles, all good.

  • April 21, 2007, 6:06 p.m. CST

    BringingSexyBack...

    by idahomer

    I have a CCW. Trust me. Those of us who do NEVER start anything. If I was packing in a theater and someone was ruining the experience, I woud just leave and ask for my money back.,p> Veganzomby, you got that right.<p> Now can I rant about restaurants? Unless it's a Chucky Cheese, IHOP or Denny's you better learn to CONTROL your kids! I'm not paying $100 for an Italian dinner so you can save the price of a babysitter!

  • April 21, 2007, 6:12 p.m. CST

    Terminator guy gets Terminated...

    by idahomer

    Whatever year it came out, during the love scene between Sarah and Reese, a guy yells out "He dies at the end!"<p> After the movie we are walking through the food court and four guys have surrounded this MF, using him as the pinball.

  • April 21, 2007, 6:13 p.m. CST

    Soccer moms are as bad as their kids...

    by blindambition238

    I remember going to see Pan's Labrynith at the Arclight in Hollywood and going in the auditorium pretty early. A dumbass londe soccer mom and her three 12-year olds decided to ignore the selected seating assignments and push their way into the middle row. When the attendent came to tell them that they had to go their own seats the mother said, "but it isnt full", which was like no shit, its still 25 minutes before showtime. Then she basically started arguing about how the film couldnt be sold out (even though every single showing before and after this one was cleared marked as such outside) because "the film is in Mexican". Inevitably the theatre did begin to fill up and the stupid fucks had to go their backrow corner seats. Arclight may cost twice as much as a shitty multiplex but its still a better deal.

  • April 21, 2007, 6:14 p.m. CST

    In suburban Chicago...

    by Fixxxer

    ...I've had experiences that run the gamut. The best theater around is probably the AMC 30 South Barrington. I went to see "The Grudge" on opening night at 8 p.m., and the teen talkers were out in force. There was still a loud, overpowering din during the prologue, then mocking laughter when Bill Pullman took his dive. During the credits, an usher got on the microphone (they have them in the larger auditoriums there) and announced that if the talking continued, the film would be shut off and everyone would be asked to leave. So what began as a horrible moviegoing experience turned into a great one -- everybody clammed up, and the sold-out crowd really got into the movie, screaming their heads off at all the right places. At the same theater, a manager walked through 10 minutes before the first showing on opening day of "Dead Man's Chest" and personally asked every single person in there to turn off their phones, Gameboys, etc. If you live in the area, that is the best "big-box" theater to go to. The only bad experience I had there was at opening weekend of "Signs," when a group of at least 20 people came in ten minutes late and proceeded to talk loudly for about ten minutes (and you all know how quiet M. Night's movies are). I was in the stadium seats, they were in the floor seats, and I had just about enough and played the "STFU" card. And it actually worked. The worst suburban theater is the AMC Streets of Woodfield, which is a breeding ground of bottom-feeders, cell-phone talkers and both the fast and the furious. I avoid it at all costs on weekend nights, especially after a disastrous trip there to see "Mean Girls." The strangest thing that ever happened to me was at the Regal Lincolnshire, though, where I was scolded by a person in front of me for laughing ... at "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back." "Can you keep it down? We're trying to watch the movie." I didn't know I wasn't supposed to laugh at a comedy.

  • April 21, 2007, 6:25 p.m. CST

    Actually the HW Arclight has one major drawback

    by blindambition238

    That would be the crowd of snobby wannabe art snobs and daytime waiters/ nighttime actors who populate the hollywood nightlife and invariably fill up the screening of certain movies. I remember at the same screening of Pan's I mentioned above I had to sit next to these two film school rejects who were loudly trying to name drop each other into submission. Of course they were more like "Yea my cousin's friend's doctor's optomitrist's girlfriend knows someone who might hook me up with a studio meeting if im interested".

  • April 21, 2007, 7:01 p.m. CST

    It's all the vatos that ruin the movie experience

    by Doc_Strange

    Every time I go to see a film it's always some cholo wannabe who tries to impress his equally lowlife girlfriend or clique by doing or saying something stupid. That's not to say all hispanics ruin the experience, hell I'm latino but it's true.

  • April 21, 2007, 7:20 p.m. CST

    Holloway Road,London.

    by The True Priapic

    I remember the days of tramps sneaking in and hiding in the toilets only to come out and sleep on the stairs when everyone had left and locked up............I remember paying about £10 for a bag of pick and mix.....................I remember the bite marks on my arse from the fleas living in the seats..............I remember the list of horror that I paid to see there.....Lethal Weapon 4,Phantom Menace,Dogma,Meet the Parents and the Matrix sequels.......I remember the Holloway Road Warrior........Priapic,the lover Priapic.....taking dates to Crouching Tiger......before all was lost in the turn of a cinema projector...how,after Pearl Harbour he became a shell of a man,a burnt-out wanderer on the streets of old London Town....and how he came to live again...in China!!(Or not,so it seems as Curse of the Golden flower was shite and most of the dvds I find here are either objectionable shit like Hostel or an array of god-awful abortions like Narnia!Help me,even Gong Li's tits can't help me now.)Then again,Holloway Road was a tip.

  • April 21, 2007, 7:48 p.m. CST

    Veganzomby: "Reagan's radical & extremist presidency"

    by Triumph poops!

    You know, Veganzomby, it was rather interesting of you to blame the "extension of vulgarity and incivility of our society" on "hate mongers" like Ann Coulter or Michael Savage (both conservatives), yet you magically DIDN'T mention people on the Left like Al Sharpton or Michael Moore who have ALSO spewed their own level of vitriol and hate simply for the sake of spewing. Sorry, man, but THAT ONE most certainly goes both ways with EQUAL blame to be spread around.<p>As for noting "You didn't have gated communities and an attempt to privatize all public spaces and services", you MUST be kidding since (1) we've always lived in a capitalistic society and thus (2) there has historically ALWAYS been different levels forming our societal strata, going back to our Founding Father's and who owned what sized farm...who owned the shipping line versus who could only afford to work the dock...and so on. In short, claiming that it's some sort of whopping new idea -- starting with Ronald Reagan -- that people use their financial resources to "gate themselves away" is dishonest to say the least. It's been with us since the beginning. Or since this is a movie geek web site, did you miss the whole POINT to the Hollywood heyday of the Thirties and Forties, where stars even then established that they only wanted the biggest and best homes BEHIND property lined walls to keep out the riff raff...and attitude which still thrives on today in predominantly Left-oriented Hollywood?<p>But most of all to say "there has been a steady and purposely deterioration of the sense of community, beginning with Ronald Reagan's radical and extremist presidency" is really lame. No offense -- and apologies to all beforehand since this could now turn this into yet another heated AICN political debate -- but if anything, it could be argued that Conservatives like Reagan are historically MORE about community than anyone else since by pure definition conservatives want EVERYONE to be...well, "conservative" in the way they behave and act in society.<p>So speaking on behalf of those of us who bend to the Right, we'd really like to say to those of you on the Left "Gee, before we get to blaming Reagan, we'd really like to thank you guys on the Left for that whole Sixites revolution thing. You know, that whole sexual freedom bit and the fact that it's ALL about personal freedom and TOTAL expression and how everyone should be free to do WHATEVER they want, WHENEVER they want. It's about individuality, man, NOT about society! I gotta be ME, man! I gotta express myself, man! I gotta be free to fuck and say and do whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like it. I ain't gonna sell my soul to the corporation and CONFORM to society! Bullshit! I gotta run free and be free!"<p>So before you groan-inducingly go about dragging Reagan into a debate over "why" people today are so uncivil and MORE focused on self-gratification and pleasing themselves, perhaps we need to turn the political and historical clock back a bit further and turn the mirror around as well...

  • April 21, 2007, 7:57 p.m. CST

    I SAY BOYCOTT ALL MOVIES!!!!! IN THEATERS AND AT HOME!!

    by wackybantha

    DAMN IT!!!! -by Jack Bauer-

  • April 21, 2007, 8:12 p.m. CST

    Re:Triumph Poops

    by magnetoelectric

    Everything you wrote from "So speaking on behalf of those of us who bend to the Right" All the way to-"I gotta run free and be free!" Was total Bullshit.How do you explain Ayn Rand then?She was republican...Anyhow the only reason why I chimed in is because I dont want this TB to go downhill.Dont get me wrong I could have easily called Vegan on his bullshit as well..The point in the end I guess is..Whatever fucked up theories we all have for the "cause" ammount to shit.Id rather hear soloutions than see TBer political mudslinging

  • April 21, 2007, 8:43 p.m. CST

    "Can you PLEASE shut the fuck up?"

    by JIC

    My girlfriend gets mad whenever I tell some moron to shut up when I'm trying to watch a movie. She thinks I'm doing a scene. Here is my proposal. Let's get the manager involved more often, or this idiots will never learn. And request refunds if you believe they have ruined your movie experience. Let's hit the movie theatres where it hurts, their pockets.

  • April 21, 2007, 9:53 p.m. CST

    The worst instance of talking during a movie...

    by BDT

    actually happened at the Alamo. I went to see The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly eith Eli Wallach in attendance, and the guy sitting next to us, bless him, it was HIS FAVORITE MOVIE of ALL TIME, but he is was a line repeater....no, let me rephrase that, he would say the line about a minute before the character in the movie would, and manage to get it WRONG. This guy would even do the famous music phrase something like this: doodle, loodle loo, wah wah waaaaah, every time it came up in the movie. This was my first time seeing this movie, and Mr. Wallach was an intelligent and witty speaker, so it would have been a near perfect Alamo event. I raised the menu card 2 times to alert the waitstaff about the talker, each time they talked to the guy, and each time he would shut up for about 10 minutes before his enthusiasm would get the better of him and he'd just start right up again. In a way, I'm glad that they didn't kick the guy out, I bet he'd traveled to see this, his favorite movie and wasn't familiar with the Alamo. But, his talking and such certainly dominates my memory of the movie and the evening...and those tickets weren't cheap. I do have problems with other local theaters not being conscientious about this and... especially teens who go to movies on weekends as a social event, talk on their cell phones, to each other and let their friends in the fire exits after the movie has started. These kids have no manners and I would rather have the talker experience I had at the Alamo than just about any of these kids who could care less about the movies and just want to hang out and socialize with their friends. Please do your socializing in a more appropriate setting. I'm with Quint, theater managers need to support their patrons.

  • April 21, 2007, 10:41 p.m. CST

    VeganZomby is a Douche...

    by ZombieisaDouche

    ...but he's one of many, I'm afraid. You see, everyone who has a biased political affiliation (to either the right or left) all thinks the other ideology is responsible for the coarsening of society. The truth is: both sides are to blame. People do feel entitled to do what they want, say what they want etc.. That is textbook 60's. Of course, they didn't think it would turn out this way because they thought people were somehow egalitarian and intelligent. Wrong! We are idiots and we need the constraints of society. Without it, we're fucking lost animals. As for the right, enough with the Jesus crap. Okay!

  • April 21, 2007, 11:21 p.m. CST

    ZombieisaDouche, ding ding ding!

    by GQtaste

    One of the posts so far.

  • April 21, 2007, 11:25 p.m. CST

    Worst experience: THE INCREDIBLES

    by Big Dumb Ape

    When I went to THE INCREDIBLES -- which was packed, so there was no ability to move about -- a little girl kept kicking the back of my seat since she was excited, impatient, whatever was going on in her head. Even worse, despite having a child seat, she then started standing upright on the floor and grabbing the top of my seat and pulling back on it, literally rocking it, to peer over.<p>At first I politely asked the little girl to behave in a whisper...then I had to do it again, this time drawing a glare from her Young Mother as if to say "Who the fuck are you to talk to my kid? Some kind of pedophile?"...and then when she started grabbing and literally rocking my seat, I had to turn to the Mom and say "Either she behaves or I get the manager and boot both of you."<p>I'll give the theater some credit. It got so bad that the Young Mom said she wanted to speak outside -- basically she thought she was going to call ME out -- so we stepped outside at which point a manager saw us arguing and came over. When I explained the situation, he turned to the woman and said her kid had to behave or else. Amazingly, the Young mom got even MORE indignant and actually tried to defend it all by saying "Oh for fuck's sake! It's only a cartoon and it's for kids. This guy shouldn't even be here!" at which point the manager just sighed and offered me comp tickets, which I took since the movie was essentially ruined at that point. However he then got mad and proceeded to read the riot act to the woman, at which point she actually put on that whole "Well, I never! I'm never coming back here again if THIS is how you treat your customers!" act and stormed off.

  • April 22, 2007, 1:23 a.m. CST

    the arclight update for the evening

    by occula

    just got back from 'hot fuzz' (which, BTW, was so fucking hy-larious i'm actually a little nauseated from laughing so hard) and our sold-out 8 pm was nuthin but respectful. no phones, no talking, laughing only. in fact i myself committed the unfortunate sin several times of continuing to laugh into the 'laugh's over' zone, you know, after the funny line is over and other dialogue begins again, because i couldn't stop laughing!

  • April 22, 2007, 1:24 a.m. CST

    ps, gunslinger

    by occula

    also bravo on the 'no coffee for children who haven't hit puberty yet' rule. fecking disgusting!

  • April 22, 2007, 1:58 a.m. CST

    My Trick

    by cikas47

    Whenever i am in a Theater and People wont shut the fuck up, i tell them that my father is the manager and i have no problem having him toss them the fuck out, or sometimes i say i work there and i will have my manager remove them and such, i have always had success with this trick! Same thing with Cell phones, I let them know that the Theater Policy prohibits cell phones during the movie and i will have to remove them... its sad that i must act like an employee but it gets great results.

  • April 22, 2007, 2:30 a.m. CST

    Triumph...

    by idahomer

    The things you see when you don't have your gun? lol. I'm with you buddy!<p> TomBodet, (I think I stayed at your place once). It really was funny. Like a Hell Week drill from HS football. Guy was just being bounced off one chest and another.

  • April 22, 2007, 3:02 a.m. CST

    dogapeandman2 if this talkback was a cinema screening

    by Talkbacker with no name

    I would be telling you to grow the fuck up! 26 and you act like a 10 year old and ruin movies for people? Has it still not sunk in that this talkback is against people like you? <p>...But then again trolls like yourself are blind in one eye and can't see out the other. It's all about getting a rise out of people (here and out there in the real world). How sad.

  • April 22, 2007, 3:15 a.m. CST

    oh and dogapeandman2

    by Talkbacker with no name

    I don't give a fuck if you were 17 or 7 or if the screening at just you and a tramp in it! There is no justification for being a fucking moron 'trying' to be funny at a movie. And don't give us all this "Those were the only two times.." bullshit! You are a movie-ruining-motherfucker and you need a hard kick in the balls as that seems to be the only way you will learn to stop being such a fucking goof!

  • April 22, 2007, 3:21 a.m. CST

    JUST PISS ON THEM!

    by Professor Krapp

    Just stand up, whip it out and piss all over them. Piss in their mouths, piss on their hair, piss on their screaming fucking brats. Piss on the fucking lot of them!

  • April 22, 2007, 3:34 a.m. CST

    It's a new appoarch, Professor Krapp

    by Talkbacker with no name

    I'll give you that but I think cikas47's trick might work better...or a good old fashioned kick in the bollocks :)

  • April 22, 2007, 4:07 a.m. CST

    At long last a TB where so many are united in...

    by The Grey Ghost

    Racism. <br><br> Seriously, the sooner we band together to vanquish all talking from movie theaters, the sooner we can move on to ridding multiplexes of all those "spades," "chink bitches" and "wispy mustaches."

  • April 22, 2007, 5:24 a.m. CST

    todays theatre experience

    by the_shogun_gunslinger

    i went to the movies today with some friends. with the rest of the family out of town visiting the mother in law (and thank the fuck christ i weaseled my way out of that one) i took the oportunity to round up some friends to go movie hopping. first was Hot Fuzz which was fucking great...and the audience in a near sold out show was also pretty damn good. no phones went off, no talking, no kids...excelent. 2nd was Grindhouse (5th time ;) and in a near empty theatre (sadly) not much could really go wrong, so no complaints. 3rd was ATHF and despite some general disapointment with the actual film, everything went smooth...well there was one girl who was sitting a row or two down who nudged her BF and flat out asked him, "What the fuck is this shit?" haha. so all in all, good day. maybe more people read this than we realize and they now fear for their safety, hahaha. <P> and yes occula, the no coffee rule is gold, and im certain it saves me a fortune, haha. sometimes you can just tell a kid is gonna be worthless the minute you see them.

  • April 22, 2007, 8:26 a.m. CST

    Zombieisadouche: You actually call people "douches?"

    by Veganzomby

    Do you knock the other kids' books out of their hands, too? Anyway, while it probably was wrong of me to inject politics into this particular thread, I stand by my analysis.

  • April 22, 2007, 8:39 a.m. CST

    TriumhPoops

    by Veganzomby

    You make some fair points about the effects of the 1960's, though I still consider the hyperindividualistic cutthroat capitalism which Reagan championed to be far more corrosive of community. As for leftist propagandists. I wouldn't equate Michael Moore to Ann Coulter. While Moore can definitely be obnoxious, he does not spew hate like Coulter et al. As for Al Sharpton, I didn't include the likes of him for the same reason I didn't list people like David Duke: sure, they're political agitators, albeit from different ends of the spectrum, but their main thing is racism, as in, they're both publicity-seeking damn racists.

  • April 22, 2007, 10:25 a.m. CST

    And so it is...

    by gothfae

    That I will always be happy to have the Drafthouse to patronize. Because if you'r enot quiet there, they will send Chuck Norris to choke you out.

  • April 22, 2007, 10:26 a.m. CST

    Donner

    by RenoNevada2000

    Totally agree with you on Murphy's book. The best book on film I've read in years.

  • April 22, 2007, 11:07 a.m. CST

    dogapeandman2

    by ManosTHOF

    Your comment isn't even all that brilliant considering the bees were part of the mythology from the end of season 2 on, and are not unique to the movie. Suppose you'll point out that the black oil was lame too? Watch a show or two and educate yourself.

  • April 22, 2007, 11:14 a.m. CST

    Pardon me.

    by ManosTHOF

    Season 4.

  • April 22, 2007, 12:11 p.m. CST

    Yeah dogapeandman2

    by Talkbacker with no name

    watch it and educate yourself! <p>But let me just clear things up. 1. I was never an x file fan (tv series or movie). But have seen a few episodes and thought it was quite good (certainly nothing to be ashamed of if that's your angle). <p>2. I never agreed with peeing on people. I said "It's a new approach, Professor Krapp, I'll give you that but I think cikas47's trick might work better", which was to prentend you worked there. <p>3. I'll stand by the fact till the day I die that you need a good kick in the bollocks, you movie-ruining mother fucker!

  • April 22, 2007, 1:14 p.m. CST

    Alien - '79

    by Roy Neary

    A long time ago, but there was a kid about 10 years old standing next to the door of the theatre, sipping the last of his coke, telling everyone who passed: "Everyone dies but the girl." That was me. Sorry.

  • April 22, 2007, 1:31 p.m. CST

    Here, Here, Quint.

    by The Dude Abides

    I hardly go to the movies at all anymore, unless I can go to an afternoon show in the middle of the week that will be virtually deserted. John Q. Public has no clue on movie etiquette. So, I just wait for the dvd for most things and see it in the comfort of my own home.

  • April 22, 2007, 2:25 p.m. CST

    FUCK!!!! You have NO IDEA!

    by wutane

    I live in the middle of BFE and we have three theaters in our region, all run by the same guy. I have a free pass to go see any movie I want anytime I want, between 5 and 11 pm. I barely go because there is always somebody there who want to fuck it up. We also happen to be located in and around an one of the largest Indian Reservations in the country. Don`t get me wrong I`m not racist, I`m just pissed. But Indians bring the whole herd to whatever movie is playing regardless of time and/or rating of said movie. For example I threatened six of them to physical violence during V for Vendetta. Nevermind the fact it was two women in their late 20-early 30s, but the four kids they brought with them that were all 5 years and younger! I had calmly shh`d them and then said shut up and then told them to control their fucking kids, who ran all over the place the entire movie, and then threatened them with violence. AND IT DIDN`T WORK! Sometimes people are just fucking ignorant retards, and I won`t get started on the Re-Re`s either. FUCK! I have found the best way to deal with theater experience ruining fuck-sticks is to use extreme subtlety. For the ones that think aisle walking is an olympic event, if your on the outside, right as they get to the end and right as their stepping into the aisle, just ever so slightly do a quick toe step so they trip and hopefully fall making a complete ass out of themselves. They can`t get mad at you cause your not the one being laughed by everyone in the vicinity that saw them bust their ass. The noisy teenage crowd....with the cell-phones...who won`t shut the fuck up....ask them once. If they don`t, depending upon the location of where you are to them, and also the size of drink(the larger the better) you felt like buying, just calmly go get a refill(minimal ice) and when you are sitting down to your seat, just chuck the fucker at one of their heads. If you do it just right, not only will you tag the one thats being the most obnoxious, but you`ll nail everylast one of them in the row. A $7.00 drink is a small price to pay to hand down movie etiquitte justice. From then on, everytime one of those little fuckers steps into a theater they`re reminded of the time they got tagged in the head for being an ignorant little fuck. They are the ones who will hand down the justice when their experience gets fucked up. Its a vicious cycle, but, it all starts with a large Dr. Pepper upside the dome to change someone`s attitude. As for the rest of the decency offenders, I suggest you employ whatever guerilla warfare tactics you have to, in order to straighten said offender out. We must have a call to arms! Help a brotha out when their being annoyed, the sooner the problem is dealt with, the quicker we can all get back to the movie.

  • April 22, 2007, 2:28 p.m. CST

    My war story

    by OBSD

    I saw the last "Star Trek" movie a few years back. Before the movie started, this woman brought her baby in, who proceeded to scream at the top of its lungs for about 10 minutes. Mom did nothing about it at all, and you could hear people getting increasingly louder with their complaints. But mom wouldn't budge. She paid her ten bucks and fuck everybody else. Suddenly, the sound got louder and louder, much louder than a screaming child could conceivably cry. Then the sound of background chatter and cellphones could be heard. Just as everybody in the theater started to wonder, "what the fuck?", a message was projected onto the screen: "please be quiet for the enjoyment of everybody". Suddenly, the entire audience burst into laughter at this woman and her screaming spawn. We were staring at her and laughing so hard that she was shamed into leaving the theater, leaving the rest of the audience to enjoy (well, maybe that's the wrong word for Star Trek: Nemesis) the movie in peace and quiet. Best coincidence ever.

  • April 22, 2007, 3:11 p.m. CST

    STAR TREK: NEMESIS

    by wackybantha

    If that had happened at my viewing of that flick, I probably would have liked that crapfest a bit more.

  • April 22, 2007, 3:14 p.m. CST

    I don't condone violence or throwing food and beverages

    by wackybantha

    ...but if you're gonna throw a cup of soda you may as well drink half of it and then add water from the water fountain to whatever is left. At least you'll save some money. PLEASE DON'T THROW IT AT ME!

  • April 22, 2007, 3:22 p.m. CST

    QUESTION FOR EVERYONE!!!

    by wackybantha

    At Star Wars Celebration 3 they screened the whole saga minus EPISODE 3. People were giving the films the Mystery Science 3000 treatment. I thought it was funny because I already knew all the films backwards and forwards and I own them on video and it was a new way of seeing them. The screenings were not advertised as a talk to the screen event but people did it anyway and nobody stopped them. My buddy was annoyed by it. The screenings were part of the convention so anyone could watch them, seating permitting. No extra fees were charged. I assumed that 99% of the attendees had already seen the films so who cares. MY QUESTION IS: WAS IT WRONG? YES? NO? WHY? Of course, at any other time, if I am in a theater where I paid OR got a free pass I would want everyone to SHUT UP, DAMN IT!!

  • April 22, 2007, 3:25 p.m. CST

    Its funny during the screening of Episode 5....

    by wackybantha

    ....when Leia kisses Luke many viewers were heard to exclaim, "EEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!"

  • April 22, 2007, 4:01 p.m. CST

    Amen Quint!

    by johnnykool

    I could not have said it better and I agree 100%. This is why I have stopped going to movies. I wait for them to come out on DVD, unless it's a movie I just have to see.

  • April 22, 2007, 4:23 p.m. CST

    My Experience

    by mets835

    My Girlfriend and I go to at least 2 movies a month and love the idea of going out to a good movie. We figure if 2 movie tickets cost 21.50 , and food cost an additional 17-22 a 40 dollar night of entertainment is still a bargain nowadays. Our problem stems from the lack of respect we are continually seeing from the audiences at the movie theaters. No longer can we sit and enjoy movies without people talking throughout the whole movie. The latest was when we went to see vacancy and we had 2 women yell throughout the movie at the characters on the screen, and foreshadowing what was going to happen ( mind you everything she said was wrong, and these were grown woman). Now the new thing is answering and talking on the the Cell phones during the movie, we witnessed that a few weeks back at another movie and continued with our experience at Vacancy. So to sum up my recent “Vacancy” experience ,we had babies crying , little kids screaming and two grown women behind us talking and yelling the whole movie. We could not enjoy the movie. Half the movie theater was frustrated and i heard exit comments from people saying “thats it , i will never go to a freaking movie again”. My Girlfriend and i started to talking to one couple after the movie, both of us were thinking about paying to see the movie Fracture which started an hour later, and we both agreed we would wait for it to come on DVD. Certainly my Girlfriend and I will not go to another movie until we find the HOLY Grail of Movie Theaters where people don't talk and actually respect that they are not in their Living rooms or on their street corner. Eventually there is going to be a huge ripple effect and sales are going to decline dramatically, i implore Theater owners to take proactive steps before this happens. My Girlfriend and I were laughing because we were saying we would pay a few dollars more a ticket for “Guaranteed Silence” and the peace of mind knowing we will be able to enjoy a movie. It seems like a simple fix but it is becoming a Cross country epidemic. I think Before anyone can claim that Piracy is the cause for declining sales , we first have to look at what is driving people away from the theaters in the first place. Possible solutions Enforce a no talking policy have a movie agent in every movie theater ensuring no talking. Have each seat equipped with a headphone jack so i can bring noise canceling headphones and enjoy the movie and not have to worry about other people making comments. You could obviously have the theater have a cut off switch in case of emergency. Make Select theaters(or parts of theaters) have exclusive movie club membership that guarantees as a term of service that there is to be no talking, no cell phones , or your movie privileges will be revoked. Create special seats so when peoples voice continually go over a certain decibel it automatically opens the roof to the movie theater and ejects the person out. (as of right now this is just a joke)

  • April 22, 2007, 4:27 p.m. CST

    It's True South Austin Sucks

    by elduderino38

    So please, all yuppie-ass Ward Cleavers like Cotton McKnight stay up north. Round Rock is a very nice place for you to live.

  • April 22, 2007, 5:43 p.m. CST

    Hear, hear!!!

    by Tal111

    I used to go to at least 3 movies a week, now I wait for everything on DVD. Last movie I saw in a theater was Batman Begins. A couple behind me spoke the entire time (I told them to shut up twice) and a girl in front was on her Blackberry the entire movie. Here's what I don't get- tickets aren't cheap, how can these people afford to pay for a movie they don't watch? Anyway I don't go anymore and don't miss it. And I LOVE when theater owners blame the movies for dwindling attendance. For me and everyone I know this is the biggest problem.

  • April 22, 2007, 9:31 p.m. CST

    The Arclight is very overrated

    by LeviDTinker

    Iam sorry but the Arclight is one of the most overrated cinemas currently open. the ticket price is rediculous,and there customer service is crap. infact one of the few times ive gone there (cause i recieved a free screening pass( i felt like i was being talked down to by there usher when i made a complaint about someone talking on there cell phone durring the movie.

  • April 23, 2007, 12:43 a.m. CST

    RAVE MOTION PICTURES

    by Vi

    The "RAVE MOTION PICTURES" Jefferson Pointe 18 here in Fort Wayne (great theater -stadium seating, DLP, THX, the works), before every movie, turns up the lights, and has some hottie usher chick come down front and explain the rules in, usually, a pretty firm tone. She's usually flanked on the sides by 6 or 7 other employees. Need to use the cell phone? Go to the lobby. Otherwise, turn it off. No talking rules are enforced pretty well too. And at the end of her speech, usually a lot of the people in the audience either claps or says 'thank you.' I don't know if they implemented this chain-wide, but thank GAWD.

  • April 23, 2007, 1:33 a.m. CST

    The glories of Indian Cinema

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    I really am not uptight about people making noise etc. during a movie. To me, that's part of the experience. I love BOLLYWOOD and let me tell you those theaters can be downright hectic, and I love every minute of it! People whistling and trilling, clapping, stamping, calling out, reacting to what's on the screen. That's part of the experience, going through an emotional roller coaster with a whole crowd! If I wanted a solemn, sterile experience I'd watch a DVD! <p> During the regional (non-Hindi language) films it's even crazier, when I saw "Dil Apna Punjabi" (great flick BTW) the other patrons were dancing around the theater during the wedding & dance sequences, this includes elderly men with turbans! I was stomping and clapping along with everyone else... now that's a great theater going experience, people really ENJOYING the movie and being excited about it! I actually get choked up remembering that, it was one of the best theater experiences of my life (plus the Punjabi music was unbelievably beautiful). If I wanted to be among a bunch of silent stiffs in orderly rows I'd go sit in a graveyard! <p> Really, the only downside is sometimes a little kid or will go up and down the aisles asking people for candy, that can be annoyingly distracting (because he is addressing you personally). <p> And I live in ATLANTA by the way, and when I go out to the mainstream multiplex, the audience is overwhelmingly black, and I don't notice any of the bad stuff you guys are complaining about... maybe I'm in some parallel universe? Anyway I still love going to movies but since Bollywood films are more entertaining and higher quality than 99% of what Hollywood puts out, that's usually where I go... see you all there, and watch the concession stand Samosas, those fuckers will give you wicked heartburn!

  • April 23, 2007, 3:16 a.m. CST

    in the uk...

    by Mr Gorilla

    ...there was a news story of someone being stabbed when they told some kids to shut the fuck up. that scares me. nowadays, if I go to the cinema it's either an artsy film that the talkers won't want to see, or, if it's a blockbuster, i see it on it's opening weekend, where the only people who have tickets are those insane enough to have booked them 4 months in advance. Shee-eet.

  • April 23, 2007, 7:07 a.m. CST

    also in the UK

    by ilander66

    due to the ratings being different for films over here kids are not allowed into 15 or 18 rated films at all (unless they sneak in) it still doesnt stop all the tossers but the older the crowd sometimes the quieter it is. some cinemas do recognise the problem, opening day of POTC 2 there were two showing starting at the same time and they were basically saying this screen for families kids etc the other screen for everyone else, one cinema i uses to go to before i moved away used to do really late screenings of pixar films and early baby and toddler showings just to split the audience up. who would pay a tiny bit more per ticket for special showings with hard ass bouncers in attendance to throw out the human waste that annoys so many of us? (not that we dont pay far to much per ticket anyway but these profits rarely get into the pockets of the poor unfortunate staff who it seems dont get paid enough to risk having the shit kicked out of them).

  • April 23, 2007, 7:55 a.m. CST

    Priapic;

    by Lost Prophet

    Holloway Rd- YUCK. Mind you the Odeon in Camden is also a shit hole. I wandered like a broken shell of a man across the road and straight into the Rat & Parrot for some much needed medicinal alcohol after some little wannabe eminem threatened to dismember me for trying to get him to shut his trap in 8-Mile. <p>This is not a new thing I also remember seeing Arachnophobia in Sheffield in the 80's and moving away from some vile sticky chavette who then proceeded to maul her poor long suffering boyfriend and shriek like a demented harpy. Actually, he ended up walking out. <p>Now I think about it this tends to be an Odeon thing- I haven't had a bad experience in any other cinema chain, and now mostly go to the independant (I forget the name)half way up Baker St.

  • April 23, 2007, 7:57 a.m. CST

    Also,

    by Lost Prophet

    as much as I hate talkers, phones etc- the real thing that stops me going is the price- I fucking object to a night out for me and the missus costing the better part of £20 before food, drink, travel etc. Especially when the experience has become shit.

  • April 23, 2007, 9:39 a.m. CST

    You knows it!

    by Cat_Corporation

    Quint, you are sooooooo right. It's not always the high prices that keeps people away from the cinema - it's the morons. There are plenty here in London. At Curse of the Golden Flower this weekend, one couple seemed to find it so hilarious that they laughed like drains throughout it - it was pretty weird. I find a lot of people think they can make a racket if a film is subtitled, as if it's a free pass to yack on like idiots. At Volver, two women next to me proceeded to shout over the movie whenever something struck them on screen - 'Isn't Penelope Cruz beautiful?' 'Yes, but I think Sophia Loren is more beautiful'. Like that's so important it can't wait until the end of the film - thanks for letting me in on your scintillating conversation. And these weren't kids, they had white hair!! But the kids are the worst. At King Kong this bunch of little bastards snuck in about an hour in (i.e. for free) and sat at the back shouting, playing with their phones, throwing stuff - and this bloke with his two kids, who was sitting directly in front of them, looked as if he was under siege and was trying hard to pretend that nothing was happening. I kept giving them the evil eye for a while, but when that didn't work - and when I get hacked off I revert to my Michael Caine accent - I yelled 'CAN YOU SHAT AP PLASE!' A few minutes later, they slinked off out of the screening, and I, a wee girl in my 20s, had triumphed over the idiots. It was a proud day. But the weirdest unwanted audience member was at Becoming Jane, before the lights went out - a mouse!! But as it kept quiet, I didn't unleash the Caine on it's ass. I did, however, keep my feet off the floor...

  • April 23, 2007, 7:21 p.m. CST

    Messy fuckers too!

    by dirtsandwich

    Humans are disgusting.

  • April 23, 2007, 8:06 p.m. CST

    Something we all relate to, obviously.

    by zebra3

    So glad Quint touched on this. I for one, shunned theaters forever because of it. I'm just now getting into theaters a little more now, usually free screenings. It still NEVER fails for me, some piece of shit rests his (or her) feet on the back of my chair and PUSHES on it every 10 minutes or so. HEY - TO THE PRICKS TOO STUPID TO KNOW - the person in front of you CAN feel it when you put your feet on the back of their chair. I've had the kicking too, and don't get me started on the talkers. I'd say 50% of any theater going experience one encounters the annoying talkers, ALL ages, and races. It often takes heavy sacks these days to put people in their place and tell them to shut up though because you just don't know who you're fucking with anymore. Some people will go apeshit on you because you've just exposed them as the assholes they are, so then it's time for them to get defensive and save face. Some of the dipshits that do this have the lack of brains to start with by doing it, so you're entering their pathetic, depraved playing field by confronting them. And that's EVERY class of people and race. I've had them all. This is why I don't go more often and this is why I've built one kick ass home theater that makes me very happy. No feet on the back of my seat, and no one talks throughout the movie. And the popcorn's better. The 'theater audience bonding' thing is vastly overated anyway. How many Quints would stay home and review the current crop of films there if the studios sent them a DVD instead of a free screening pass? I bet you A LOT.

  • April 23, 2007, 11:28 p.m. CST

    Speak with your wallet.....

    by NoCalFlicks

    As another avid film-goer I agree that the theater experience is getting worse and worse, however I would say that the best thing to do is to keep going, but if you have a bad experience, just demand a refund after the movie is over. Honestly, I'm a pretty mild mannered guy, it takes a lot, a LOT to get me to that "boiling point" so most of the time I might just suffer through a unpleasant movie experience, but rest assured the one thing I am not afraid to do is to walk up to the manager afterwards and let them know how miserable my experience was, and demand a refund. I think too many people are too nervous to ask for refunds, thinking they will get turned down or laughed at. However, if you send an angry stampede of people to the refund desk, because of a few smarmy fucks, maybe the theaters will start accomodating all of us, instead of the few lousy punks.

  • April 24, 2007, 8:01 a.m. CST

    Awesome rant, I completely agree

    by photoboy

    I hardly go near the cinema these days, it's always full of chavs using their mobile phones and talking loudly. Cinema owners are responsible for their own demise frankly.

  • April 24, 2007, 9:44 a.m. CST

    People who laugh at sad scenes

    by Veganzomby

    Went to see Year of the Dog on Saturday night. Arthouse theater, usually gets an *okay* crowd. Two bimbos walk in five minutes into movie, yakking despite quiet audience and movie already playing. Sit down, yak more, then kind of quiet down. Folks, this movie has some very sad scenes in it (think "Old Yeller"). During one poignant, awful moment in the film, the bimbos START TO LAUGH! WTF? That's when I let them have a double-barreled "Shush!" It worked. I understand when teens and immature adults laugh at on-screen violence. It's often a way to cope with disturbing images (not talking about zombie-style comic book violence, which we all love). But to laugh at sad moments? What gives?

  • April 24, 2007, 9:48 a.m. CST

    So the situation escalated when.....

    by don_gately

    you breached societal norms and laid the profanity down? What a surprise. Good thing the guy behind wasn't mentally unstable, or strapped, or both. It's not people like the chatty family I fear in groups, it's you. "Oh, crap. The theater has implicitly endorsed talking during the film. Oh, shucks. The people behind me are talking through the trailer. I bet they don't stop when the movie starts. Oh, crud. The people behind me are talking during the actual opening credits. Think I'll give them about 25 seconds to realize the error of their ways before I play the "fuck" card to get their attention. Oh hell, the theater staff was only interested in calming the situation down between a large family and a couple of hotheads in the middle of a couple of hundred people. How irresponsible of them. Ah, damn. Poor, poor pitiful me." When you impose yourself into a group you are giving up any control of the situation you might have had. When you get aggressive so quickly, you inflame the situation. When you inflame the situation, you run the risk of initiating something that could get way out of control very fast, and in a crowded theater that is the real problem.

  • April 24, 2007, 10:35 a.m. CST

    Guys get a room will you

    by snatchmaster

    Reading the bullshit between Orcus and dogapeandman2 is giving me a headache. You do realise that the Magic Johnson theaters are part of a chain right? Hell got one here in Ohio. Maybe Orcus should clear that shit up first. If anything it makes him an asshole for that joke shit. Dogapeandman2, you made too many damn assumptions. That makes you a prick. Now go both fuck yourselves

  • April 24, 2007, 10:45 a.m. CST

    With blockbuster season upon us.....

    by amrisharmpit

    There is the potential for plenty of rude theater behavior in the months ahead. This summer could be one of Hollywood's biggest ever. They say that all the time, but this year it will probably be more actuality than hyperbole. There are going to be HERDS of people stampeding to the theaters, many of whom don't normally go to movies. It's not a coincidence that these problems often occur at the franchise films - because they bring in big crowds who aren't cinephiles, rarely go to theaters, and are unaccustomed to proper movie theater etiquette. These are the same crowds you find at amusement parks on summer weekends - masses of people of all ages, sizes, colors, etc. Let's keep this in mind when we go to the theaters at summer. Stand up for your rights as an audience member. If someone is bothering you, use the "three strikes" rule - two warnings, then the third time you get the manager or usher. You paid your money to watch the film, and you don't deserve to have the experience ruined by others.

  • April 24, 2007, 2:47 p.m. CST

    Boot to the head...

    by Ninja Nerd

    Quint...I am a life long movie fan. I love the drive-in experience; we still have one about 8 miles from my house. The audio is FM now....the hanging speakers didn't survive the 80's...but it's still a place where people bring lawn chairs, blankets, park their pickups backwards with tailgate down, and generally have a great time. I can tell you that the ONLY reason I don't go to the theatre these days is definitely and absolutely, the asshole quotient is just too freakin' high. When LOTR:FOTR premiered, we saw it the 2nd weekend at a chain. Our whole family has read all the Tolkien books and were dying to see what Jackson had done. A whole family...Mom, Dad, and 2 teenaged daughters...were directly behind us. They had apparently read the books AND seen the movie already, so somehow, they felt the need to "share" their thoughts with the entire audience. As Quint did, I gave them a look, "Shhhush" twice, a "please be quiet" and finally, "SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" They got quiet until the 3rd act and then went into LOUD conversation again. This time, I turned around, stood up, and leaned into the father's face and told him that one more peep would result in a free Karate lesson. He glared, but they all shut up. After the film, his idiot wife browbeat him into confronting us in the lobby. My son and I are both instructors and have a lot of full contact experience, so when he put out his finger towards my chest, I suggested that if the finger got any closer or actually touched me, his wife would be calling 911 for an ambulance. He turned several colors and left. At no time did the staff of the theatre do a stinkin' thing. When a similar incident occurred during 'The Phantom Menace', I got a manager (different theatre, different chain) to eject the offenders. That's once out of dozens and dozens of time. Mostly, it's ignored, so my dollars go to DVDs and the excellent home theatre at my home.

  • April 24, 2007, 5:22 p.m. CST

    Worst Genres attract Worst Crowds

    by drewlicious

    Working in a theater I found out that the certain genres attracted certain jerks. Horror movies attracted loud obnoxious teenagers of varying degree, some underage some in college, and the worst shit they pulled is that they messed up the bathrooms consistently all night. Those jerks that weren't teenagers were bonafide freaks. Ex: Some weirdo lady showed up way too early for TCM, marched into the the ticket booth, and asked me two inches from my face why the movie hasn't started yet (didn't start for another hour). Family movies attract miserable parents, they buy sixty dollars worth of food and leave half of it in the theater. Huge mess and very inconsidate. You would think this would be a good time to show your kids how to clean up after themselves. Don't feed me that bullshit about parents are just flustered, my brother has kids and gets them to clean up everytime. The last group everyone knows, the pseudo-serious film buff/film student. These are the guys who show up really early, not reasonably early I'm talking two frickin's hours to get ahead of a crowd that's not even there. I would never have minded this if these folks just kept a civil tongue, every other word they said to eachother was fuck. But worst of all was their contemptous attitude for anyone who was a casual moviegoer. That's no way to behave in public because a bad attitude is contagious. You can identify these guys right off the bat by their sloppy-hipster dress and their baffling habit of referring to the director of the film they are going to see by either their first name or their nickname even though they have never met (stalkers do this too). Maybe they're not as rude as some other people in a crowd but they piss me off in the subtle way that I can only to getting a popcorn shell stuck to back of my throat. Also, the emo kids at the Burbank 16. Whoever mentioned that totally nailed that. All these pair shipped runts in skin tight jeans are everywhere. Who started this shit?

  • April 24, 2007, 7:07 p.m. CST

    Theater Rage (for Ninja Nerd)

    by Veganzomby

    Ninja Nerd (if that is your real name), I sympathize with the anger your felt at those annoying theater orks, but it's just not right to threaten people with violence when they're not being violent towards you. What you did in the lobby was fine; the guy was getting threatening and you actually did him a favor by scaring him instead of scarring him. Still, and especially for a MA instructor, in my humble opinion you shouldn't go around threatening folks just because they're being inconsiderate yahoos. No doubt a judge would feel the same way, especially if you lost it and broke someone's facial bones or flattened one of their 'nads.

  • April 25, 2007, 7:08 a.m. CST

    This is why I miss the Drive-In

    by Kampbell-Kid

    You used the speakers or turned it in on the projections FM station and had PRIVACY!!! <sighs> I really miss the drive-era and this rant made me miss it even more!

  • April 25, 2007, 5:04 p.m. CST

    ALMOST a horrible experience

    by progrocktv

    We were seeing the Two Towers and sitting in front of us was a woman and a baby. Bad sign there, but the movie was sold out and we couldn't sit anywhere else. I comment to my friend in a quiet voice but apparently this woman had hypersensitive hearing or something because she heard me. She turned around and said politely "Oh, he's good, we do this all the time, he'll sleep through anything" Warning bells went off, but I really wanted to see the film and this was really my only chance. After the film the lights went up and the woman said "good huh?" I replied with "Yea it was a good film, a little long though" her response was "no, I meant the baby". "Oh the baby, I totally forgot about the baby. Okay you were right" Not a peep throughout the entire film but still not a good idea to bring kids to films like that.

  • April 27, 2007, 9:34 a.m. CST

    This was an exhaustive read

    by snatchmaster

    I had to print this out and read this offline. Dogapeandman2, we are both in agreement that Orcus' statement was an idiotic thing to say. No arguement on that matter. To start off, I try to be a very forgiving person and give folks the benefit of the doubt so I cannot come to the same conclusion that you have on racism though. As stated above I do have a Magic Johnson theater in my area which I have gone to in the past. In fact I frequent it. Not knowing the area in which he went to, reading his statement did not convey racism to me. Between the post of you and Lecter1914, did I learn that it was in Harlem. Once knowing this my reaction was "Oh he wanted to see it in a theater in a predominately black area." So why was this a joke? That still stumps me. My only guess was that he felt "Hey screw it, let me see what it's like". Then something happened which then brought in the police. What it was is unknown. Who it involved or how it started is unknown. The fact of the matter is that something bad enough happened to bring in the authorities, which in all my years of moviegoing is a first. UNlike other areas in this tb, I did not see anything blatent or overt, only something which could be interpreted as implied. If he pulled an Imus I would stand by you on this matter. Another point of interest, the other poster who lives in the same area Lecter1914, who stated was black did not deem it necessary to call him a racist. In fact he took great pains to say this is not indicative of the whole but a small portion of black people and that although Orcus's experience was unfortunate, it was unique. From what I'm seeing here, one idiotic incident should not brand someone for life. If he realises that he made a mistake and takes pains not to repeat it, then all the better. Not to play devils advocate, you made a mistake in your past and moved past it growing into a better person for it. SOmehow I feel this may a parallel situation, only the future can tell. After all if a black person can see fit not call him a racist, why can't a white person? Again, I'm usually a forgiving person (contrary to my initial outburst but you guys were driving me nuts :) )and this was an interesting example of how two folks can read the same thing and come to two different conclusions. Peace

  • May 8, 2007, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Racebaiting

    by mad maximus

    It seems dogapeandman2 was trying to stir up the pot. Good things cooler heads prevailed