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AICN COMICS REVIEWS! 28 DAYS LATER: THE AFTERMATH Contest/Review! ALL STAR SUPERMAN! SPIDER-MAN & THE FANTASTIC FOUR! MUCH MORE!
| #56 | 4/10/07 | #5 |
(Click title to go directly to the review)
28 DAYS LATER: THE AFTERMATH Contest & Review
ALL STAR SUPERMAN #7
SPIDER-MAN & THE FANTASTIC FOUR #1
GREEN ARROW #73
HALF DEAD TPB
A look at Wildstorm’s FRIDAY THE 13th, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, and TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE comics
SHE-HULK #17
DETECTIVE COMICS #831
THE LONERS #1
WONDER WOMAN #7
CHEAP SHOTS!
Howdy Faithful Readers, Ambush Bug here from AICN Comics. Fox Atomic Comics is kicking off production of funny books with 28 DAYS LATER: THE AFTERMATH, an original graphic novel by Steve Niles. This book fills in the gaps between the film 28 DAYS LATER and the sequel set to be released next month. I’d like to give you noble readers the opportunity to win a copy of this very comic sent straight from @$$Hole HQ to your doorstep. But everything has its price.
See the GIANT SIZE MAN-THING header at the top of this column? I try to crank out a few of those headers every month or two, but The Bug can only do so much. So when Fox Atomic Comics dropped off a few extra copies of 28 DAYS LATER: THE AFTERMATH on my doorstep, I thought this would be a good opportunity to share the wealth and make the column look pretty spiffy as well.
Here’s what you’ve gotta do. Think up a clever header image for the top of the column incorporating AICN Comics or the @$$Holes in some way. It can be original artwork or a manipulated comic book cover image (it doesn’t have to be related to 28 DAYS LATER in any way). The top five submissions will receive their very own copy of 28 DAYS LATER: THE AFTERMATH and have their header appear at the top of the AICN Comics column. Send your submissions here. Winners will be announced in the next column.
Now, check out my review of the book to see what you’re working for.
28 DAYS LATER: THE AFTERMATH #1
Wrtier: Steve Niles
Artists: Dennis Calero, Diego Olmos, Ken Branck, & Nat Jones
Publisher: Fox Atomic Comics
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
Without a doubt, if it wasn’t for the movie 28 DAYS LATER, there would be no comics like THE WALKING DEAD or ZOMBIES VS. ROBOTS or BLACK GAS or any of the other billion and one zombie comics out there today. It was a movie that took the genre seriously and propelled it back into the spotlight. Studio bigwigs were taken by surprise that a living dead movie could be done so well and rake in so much cash-ola. With the much anticipated sequel, 28 WEEKS LATER, coming to a theater near you next month, Fox Atomic Studios has released 28 DAYS LATER: THE AFTERMATH to fill in the holes between the two stories and offer a little backstory as well.
To begin with, this comic is very slickly produced with a cardstock cover with raised images. The 28 DAYS LATER logo makes the cover pop. This is a girthy 106 page comic featuring four full stories written by comic book horror-meister Steve Niles. As an added bonus, the script and writer’s notes appear as an extra in the back of the book. The pages are of high quality. It seems like Fox is sparing no expense to make this book one of the best produced out there on the shelves.
So you may be saying, “OK, the book looks pretty, but is the story any good, @$$hole?”
And the answer is, “Yes.”
Being a fan of the movie, I took great joy in following the Rage virus from conception to outbreak to full on contamination of the entire world. I was iffy about the origin story at first, knowing that in the past, these stories that fill in the gaps either have nothing really new to offer or squelch the mystique of the threat by over-explaining it. I am happy to say that this book does neither.
In “Development”, we find out the reason why the scientists were futzing around with the Rage virus in the first place and why they decided to test it on monkeys. In “Outbreak”, the story of the first victims of the virus is told as the monkey from the beginning of the movie escapes and spreads the disease. “Decimation” takes place during the movie 28 DAYS LATER, but tells a story from a new perspective, while the final chapter takes us beyond the end of the film and teases us with that will be showing up next month in theaters when 28 MONTHS LATER hits. I found all of these stories to be entertaining reads which add to the 28 DAYS LATER mythos rather than detract from it.
Steve Niles does a great job of not only filling in the holes between discovery of the virus to outbreak to 28 DAYS LATER and beyond, but adds new layers to the story. Any zombie story, at its core, is a tale of humanity. Niles does a great job of introducing new characters in each of these stories. At first these characters seem to stand alone, but I was delighted to see the characters show up in each others’ stories. Paths cross, lives intersect, and fates entwine in this book. Although at times I have found that Niles seems to overextend himself as a comic book writer, trying to give his version of just about every horror property out there, I didn’t see any of that strain with this story. Niles clearly loves this material and it shows in the extra effort he puts into this book.
Artwise we’ve got a winner too. Dennis Calero supplies the art for the first and last stories. His work reminds me of a gritty Charlie Adlard style crossed with a bit of Ben Templesmith. His sections set the dire tone of the book. Diego Olmos and Ken Branch provide a cleaner, more straightforward story, but this style matches the tone of the story which revolves around a family. This art in this story lulls you in with the its clean look and makes you feel comfortable, then yanks the rug right out from under you with the subject matter. Nat Jones has impressed me before with GIANT MONSTER and does a great job here as well providing a nicely paced action story with highly detailed corpses and splatter.
This is a solid first effort at comic book making by Fox Atomic Comics and a great issue on its own. As far as zombie comics go, 28 DAYS LATER: THE AFTERMATH is definitely ahead of the shambling, brain-eating pack.
ALL STAR SUPERMAN #7
Writer: Grant Morrison
Artists: Frank Quitely (pencils) and Jamie Grant (digital inks & colors)
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Bizarro Prof. Challenger
"Suppperman--me am no Bizarro! Me am be you friend!"-- Bizarro No. 1
Hurm. Me am no reading this horrible comic and me hate it much. Me am wondering how come other Superman comics are so much better than this one. It am so dreadful me want to kill cats. Me am love cats.
Writer am Grant Morrison who am super-dumb. Him am writing Superman releasing Sun Eater but then greeted by happy Bizarros who am inviting him not visit tiny cube Bizarro World that am not floating towards Earth. Artist Frank Quitely am drawring boring two-page spread of that scene that so exciting me am asleep.
Awful characterization of super-smart sportscaster Steve Lombard who am not pumped full of steroids when he am faced with funny zombie-like baby Bizarros swarming Earth. Perry White not look Sicilian and Jimmy Olsen not clever at all when he am killing all his friends. Glorious look at how Earth not am but could be when Bizarros no am in charge. We hate our favorite restaurant lcdnolDaM's and scene with Bizarro Santa Claus not remind me at all of 2005 Christmas Episode of Dr. Who.
Bizarro love being beaten up by Superman and losing teeth. That am no his favorite fun time. Superman am so dumb he think of brilliant idea to destroy Earth and save all his friends. Now he am no happy stuck on Bizarro World where Superman am so happy he want to die. We no am care what happens to Superman now that he am on Bizarro World where everyone happy and normal.
Bizarro World no am interesting at all. It am have normal houses with normal impossible architecture and they am no burn furniture to keep cold under red cube sun. But my most hated moment come when Superman no am meeting one in every 5 billion Bizarros that am no perfect but disgustingly self-aware. Him am beyond happy and satisfied as the only insane being on a planet no am perfect and sane. Him am so happy to be sad. Him am known as Zibarro and him and Superman not similar at all. Me am no happy at all that there is second part to this story. Me hate it so much me want to wait for next issue to see what no happen.
What am going through DC Comics' mind to publish such wonderful crap? Don't they know me am only one no buying this comic? Me totally confused by how this series am won Eisner Award. It am so bad it make latest AQUAMAN seem worse. It not interesting at all how Quitely's art has gotten so much awfuller over last 7 issues that his Superman now better than ever. Whatever happens, Morrison should stop writing all comics because him am awful writer who completely misunderstand Bizarro so much me want to hug him. Him not a conundrum to me at all at how hot and cold he can be as writer. All me am no know is that he am doing a terrible job writing ALL STAR SUPERMAN and he am should be punished with a raise.
SPIDER-MAN & THE FANTASTIC FOUR #1 (of 4)
Writer: Jeff Parker
Art: Mike Wieringo & Wade von Grawbadger
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
Hear me now and believe me later, folks. Jeff Parker is going to be a big name in comics. He seems to be on a mission to save Old School Marvel. Writers Jeff Parker, Dan Slott, and Zeb Wells are the Holy Trinity at Marvel striking up a last ditch jihad to save us all from Marvel’s current grim and hero-free editorial staff and philosophies (how’s that for a mixed metaphor!?!). Parker has been turning in some pretty amazing stuff in MARVEL ADVENTURES: THE AVENGERS and AGENTS OF ATLAS, and although I wasn’t thrilled with X-MEN: FIRST CLASS (mostly because of my complete distaste for mutants right now, not because of the writing), it is clear that Parker has a fondness for Old School Marvel. This issue seals it. It utilizes character and science in fun and imaginative ways and there’s nary a whiff of CIVIL WAR awfulness present at all.
To start out, Parker writes a fun Peter Parker. It is great to see him written in this way. No black suit dreariness here, folks. This is the Spidey who quips like Conan O’Brien as he beats the stuffin’ out of criminals’ Egg McMuffins. That is, until the Impossible Man shows up.
That’s right. I said Impossible Man. Marvel’s Ambush Bug equivalent literally “POP!”’s up in this book and it is great to see writer Parker shift Peter Parker’s personality to fit and interact with Impy in this story. Whereas Spidey is always the smartass frustrating his opponents all to hell whilst duking it out, Spidey is immediately placed into the straight man spot when the more illogical Impossible Man makes an appearance. This was a new way of showing Spidey’s character and is a testament to Parker’s writing ability. He not only understands the characters, he challenges what we know about the characters and plays that out in an entertaining manner.
As the title clearly states, the FF show up…or actually Spidey shows up on the FF’s doorstep for help. Writer Parker once again shows his skill and understanding of all of the toys that Marvel has to offer. New subtle uses of Invisible Woman and the Human Torch’s powers show that Parker has been paying attention through the years and has been thinking up new ways of highlighting those powers in ways that are fun and interesting.
The story itself is packed with goodness. This issue is brim-filled. There’s the initial meeting of Spidey & Impy (which is so old school, but rich like the richest of pudding), the initial fight with the invading aliens (you know there had to be aliens), then the Human Torch and the Thing’s tussle with said aliens (which is where the nicest part of the story happens).
One of the things that I used to love about Marvel is the fun science behind the stories--especially the FF stories. Yes, FF has always been about family, but like many of Marvel’s earliest creations, that is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the wedding cake of layers these characters have (boy, I can’t stay away from those mixed metaphors). The Four also represent the elements of the earth. Their very nature of power (earth/Ben, air/Sue, fire/Johnny, & water/Reed) show a scientific core. Old FF stories were abundant in kooky, fun science--new ways to throw the team into harm’s way in a scientifically imaginative manner. Parker channels those old stories by coming up with a fairly new scenario: a race of aliens aren’t here for domination; they want to merge with the entire human race to create a super-race. “The Herald” of this destruction uses some cool time powers too to ward off Ben and Johnny, and the carnage-laden fight between Ben, Johnny, and the alien must be seen to be believed. The action itself is representative of the FF’s character, a detail that so few writers forget to incorporate. Without Reed and Sue’s brains and common sense, Ben and Johnny cause more harm than good. Definitely a fun scene.
Mike Wieringo and Wade von Grawbadger provide some crisp clean art. This is like an old MARVEL TEAM-UP done right. It highlights the best parts of the characters involved and is filled with something new and fun, even for this crusty old reader. A few years ago, the @$$Holes touted Dan Slott’s SPIDER-MAN & THE HUMAN TORCH as an instant classic. If this first issue is any indication, this miniseries is a worthy successor and proof that Jeff Parker needs more work at Marvel. Scratch that. At this point, Marvel NEEDS writers like Jeff Parker. This is Marvel the way it should be. In continuity. In character. It’s the perfect book for both old schoolers and newbs who may be looking forward to the release of the SPIDER-MAN and FANTASTIC FOUR movies this year, but aren’t familiar with comics. If I had a kid who wanted to read Marvel stories that matter, this is a book that I would use to show him how cool those stories can be.
GREEN ARROW #73
Writer: Judd Winick
Penciler: Scott McDaniel
Inker: Andy Owens
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Jinxo
Okay, to review GREEN ARROW #73 when just last month I reviewed #72 and when the comic itself has been cancelled anyway might seem, well, stupid. But having read it, I just couldn’t help myself.
Thinking about this issue I kept flashing to an episode of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 (if you think that’s already a bad sign…well, yeah). Specifically the episode “Attack Of The Eye Creatures” where after the film Joel and the bots went through pointing out the million obvious and horrible flaws in the film, such as most of the eye monsters’ costumes being heads only and being dressed in dark clothes and sneakers from the neck down. As each inexcusable flaw was counted off they would repeat that this was more proof from the filmmakers that “they just didn’t care.”
With GREEN ARROW cancelled, issue #73 is filled with proof that “they just didn’t care”--in particular in the art. The book opens with Green Arrow’s son Connor throwing down with a bad guy. Page 3 is a full page image with Connor in the foreground and the villain in the back. Connor should be bigger. Only…he’s not. He’s teeny and the villain is huge. The villain is so big I actually thought maybe the bad guy had growth powers or something. But then it becomes very clear he doesn’t. There is also weird perspective going on too. We are looking down on Connor a bit but the villain behind him we are looking up at from a very low POV. It is just…weird. Sign one that they just didn’t care.
On with the fight. Midway through the fight, more baddies drive up in a car and attack. Then Green Arrow shows up. So that makes two good guys and three bad guys. Or…no… wait…Arrow and son are hugging. So I guess…the bad guys just left? Oh wait, yes, we do have the shot of a car driving away. But the other guy is still…nope, he’s gone. He’s gone? What the…?!?! Okay, uhhhh, apparently he jumped in the car with his friends? Only we didn’t see that at all. You kind of have to figure it out. And then Arrow and Connor just let them get away because they’re too busy hugging and, much like everyone else involved, they just didn’t care.
After that things actually start to make more sense because after that there isn’t any action to confuse things. Allll talking. Usually that would be bad, usually don’t like comics to be heavy on the talking and light on the action. But with action like the start of this issue, yay, talking!
Now here is a weird bit of luck. With the end coming, Winick just not caring actually kinda helps. He’s not setting up and setting up for later. He just wants to get in, throw on the page everything he needs to so he can get to “The End” and get out. And that actually works. That’s what he needed to be doing all along. If he had written all the past issues like each plot would be the last and like he just didn’t care, we might have had a better and wilder ride all along. Seriously, Judd, Mr. Winick, or if I may address you as such, Bubbles, more writing in the future like this. Write like ya just don’t care.
But then, just when I’ve recovered from the confus-a-thon that opened the issue and I’m on track with the writing, bam, I get to the final splash page and I’m slapped in the face again by the fact that…they just didn’t care. Again with the wonky crazy perspective. In this case it’s just bad forced perspective but it’s forced pretty hard. Forced at gunpoint even. One character up high, the others a little lower. Looking at it I thought, okay, the big figure must be a twelve inch action figure and the other three lower down must be the Star Wars sized action figures. Then I had an image in my head of the artist actually setting up action figures as models so he could draw the shot. Killed any sort of positive vibe for the issue I had remotely salvaged. I too just didn’t…well, you know.
HALF DEAD TPB
Writers: Barb Lien-Cooper and Park Cooper
Artist: Jimmy Bott
Publisher: Marvel/Dabel Brothers
Reviewer: Dan Grendell
"Actually, under British law, the half dead are considered to be deceased. And the dead don't have any rights to violate."
This bit of coolness slipped past my radar initially. The recent glut of horror comics of all types has made it easy to miss some of the better ones if you're like me and feeling kind of overloaded, but I'm glad a friend saw fit to let me know what I was missing. The creators have put together a solid story here, one that takes standard vampire tropes and mixes them with looks at terrorism and fear and bigotry.
The basic idea of HALF DEAD is that there have always been vampires, but that until the Iron Curtain fell they were stuck in Eastern Europe. After that, they migrated ever westward, finally landing in Great Britain, where they became a big enough problem that there was a secret war with them. As part of that war's peace agreement, the vampires agreed to subsist on blood given them by the government and most were rendered sterile in order to work for the government. Only the blood the vampires are given is tainted, and they aren't happy...
To retaliate, vampire scientists have created a gas that spreads the vampire toxin. Any normal human exposed to it is converted into what is known as half dead, a vampire half as powerful as normal but twice as angry. Now vampire terrorists have begun releasing the gas on subways, in crowded buildings, anywhere they think it will do damage. Romany Petrovna is a ballerina who gets caught in the gas and caught up in the fight, recruited by Britain's Bureau of Parahuman and Supernatural Affairs to fight other vampires. There's just one problem--PASA members hate vampires, including Romany, and they aren't afraid to show it.
Inviting comparisons as interesting as HELLSING, HALF DEAD is a cool story with dynamic characters. The Coopers use vampires to tell a very modern story about terrorism, betrayal, and fear and hatred overwhelming the rights of the individual. If I had any complaint, it would be that the hatred seems almost too overpowering--I actually have a hard time seeing Romany or her main supporter Ian working with PASA instead of going rogue. Artist Bott does a good job of delivering action, and his storytelling is strong, though at times I had a hard time telling what was going on during fast-moving fight scenes. His facial expressions could stand improvement as well, as it could sometimes be difficult to see what exactly characters were feeling.
Overall, HALF DEAD is a strong entry into the horror genre, though the horror comes less from the vampires and more from the twisted people that hunt them. It's a good reminder that there isn't always a good and bad guy; sometimes it's a bad and a worse guy.
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET
Writer: Chuck Dixon
Art: Kevin West & Bob Almond
TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
Writers: Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning
Art: Wes Craig
FRIDAY THE 13th
Writer: Jimmy Palmiotti & Justin Gray
Art: Adam Archer & Peter Guzman
Publisher: DC WildStorm
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
Your feelings about slasher films are going to be the final indicator of whether or not you like these series. WildStorm is trying to do what so many movie studios have failed to do in recent years…make a cool slasher flick starring Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, or Leatherface. Me? I’m a huge fan of the movie series. I understand that they are lowest of the low in exploitative and schlocky fare, but I can’t help but love them in the same way I love the old Hammer or Universal Monster films. Maybe it was the thrill I had as a kid being able to watch such “edgy” and “taboo” films when my grandparents allowed my brother and I to watch them when I would stay at their house. Yes, nostalgia may be a strong factor here in that I actually even gave these comics a shot.
But to tell you the truth, none of them are that bad. Some are quite good, actually. Not all, but some. I decided to pick up the first few issues of each of these Wildstorm series and give them a shot to see if they were worth my time.
I’ll start with A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET. This is my least favorite movie series in the slasher trifecta and my least favorite of the three comic book adaptations. Again, my distaste for the NIGHTMARE series may be a strong factor here. I find Freddy to be pretty draining as a character. His awful one-liners, his near omnipotence in the films, even the fact that a child molester/murderer can become a gigantic cultural icon as big as Freddy was in the eighties, all put a bad taste in my mouth. In the end, Freddy was just brought into the light too much and that’s not a place for a real monster. Freddy became a cartoon. Back to the comic: I usually like writer Chuck Dixon’s work, but Dixon is always best with real life, down-to-earth action stories. Dixon does a decent job utilizing the dream world vs. the real, but the true problem with this series is the art. I believe I stressed this when I first covered this series, but Kevin West, whose style I usually like, just isn’t fitting for this series. Not only does he fail at the most important thing (that is, scare the reader), but he also fails in creating and maintaining mood. Superhero fare is perfect for West, but a panel featuring an overly detailed and well lit Freddy just doesn’t hack it. Dixon is currently in the middle of a story arc pitting Freddy against an ancient dream demon. An interesting concept, but again, with West at the penciling helm, I can’t take it anymore. A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET is officially off my list for the same reason I don’t like the movies: it just ain’t scary.
TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, on the other hand, remains tentatively on my list. It is faithful enough to the remakes which, if you like the remakes, may please you. Myself, I love the first three films in the TCM series. The new movies, although slickly put together, lack the icky, gritty feel of the first few films. The comic, however, exudes gritty and dirty. Artist Wes Craig does a great job at filling the panels with graphically jarring angles and wicked imagery. Characters ooze out of panel and seep into the alleys between. This is a really moody book. The problem is that the writing team of Abnett & Lanning don’t really seem interested in taking this book any further than what was already seen in the films. At the end of issue five, we already are back to the tired scene with a girl tied to a chair at a dinner table. Fans of the movie series will roll their eyes at this overused scene. It’s in every film and I found myself disappointed that the series went into such familiar territory so soon. So although the art is good and moody, the overly-familiar scenarios are moving this series onto the very edge of my pull list.
The best of the three titles is Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray’s FRIDAY THE 13TH series. I have to admit, out of the murderous three, Jason is my favorite of the bunch. I have been disappointed, though, not only by the last few entries in the movie series, but by the last few attempts at comic book adaptation. Palmiotti and Gray seem to be taking what is probably the least inventive of the three horror series and adding layers of scares and enough hip and self-conscious flavor to be entertaining and not overtly annoying.
This first FRIDAY arc is just about coming to a close, and although it starts out typically for a F13 yarn with a group of kids showing up to fix up the campground at Camp Crystal Lake, the writers add new details like the ghosts of children haunting the lake, haunted forests, and a cast that you actually give a shit about. Whereas the other series are retreading old material, F13 is building off of past material in creative and surprising ways. I like the way the characters decide to stay in a group because the body count in every slasher movie they have ever seen is due to the fact that people split up and go off alone. Then Jason counters that by brazenly picking them off in the group one by one anyway. It’s fun to see that, despite the knowledge gained from fireside stories and movieplexes, the kids still seem to fall for the same old tricks. As an added bonus, penciller Adam Archer and inker Peter Guzman convey a nice amount of mood in their panel placement and angles and dark shots. And of course, this being a F13 book, there are lots and lots of boobies. In fact, one girl spends most of the time completely naked. Although T&A is always welcome, the true highlight of this book is the fact that it appears that Palmiotti and Gray are not slumming it with this series. They are talented writers and seem to be giving it their all. It is much appreciated by this F13 fan and as long as this team is on the book, I will be picking it up.Looking back on these series makes me realize how important art is in horror comics. Stories are important, but a story told in the bright of day at a table by the pool lacks the punch of the same story told at midnight by a campfire. It’s something people putting together comics should pay attention to and it seems to be the deciding factor here in how much I enjoy these comic book series. In the end, if you hate slasher films, I’m betting you won’t even bat an eye at these books. Hell, you probably won’t even read this review. But as a fan of the genre, I’m just glad to see these properties taken seriously by some pretty nice talent. All are well produced comics, but out of the three, FRIDAY THE 13TH stands out as the best of the bunch.
SHE-HULK #17
Writer: Dan Slott
Artist: Rick Burchett
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewer: Squashua
I've been reading Dan Slott's entire SHE-HULK run since the beginning and this had to be the most disappointing issue for me. Somewhere along the line, Slott started phoning it in, and it really shows with this issue. Sure, the guy knows his history and can relate each Helicarrier loss suffered by S.H.I.E.L.D., and he certainly seems to have Hulk's foes and his multiple running plotlines handled (we even get a good couple reprieves back to Shulkie's law offices), but something here just felt off. She-Hulk gets Stark into bed, which seems a bit forced, and with a single line, Dan Slott completely invalidates a lot of fun from a recent PUNISHER: WAR JOURNAL (you know the issue...)
It's not just the story that seems off, the interior art is extremely cartoon-y, especially considering that the cover to this book is yet another beautiful painting by Greg Horn. Burchett draws this as if it's SHE-HULK ADVENTURES, which though this is probably one of the most humorous books in Marvel's line, feels inappropriate. Many of the characters look "off". Burchett can't seem to draw a face unless it's a side or front profile; any angled or tilted faces appear strange, and risking going into juvenile male territory (when haven't I?). The animated look fails miserably when portraying a She-Hulk who fights for the second half of the issue clad solely in purple panties. I feel like that was a missed opportunity.
Or maybe Slott knew what he was getting into and decided to be as risqué & cute as possible.
Either way, I feel that the quality of this series has gone down with this very issue, but in a series of home runs, Dan is allowed a couple strikes. I'll still maintain SHE-HULK on my pull list.
DETECTIVE COMICS #831
Writer: Paul Dini
Artists: Don Kramer (pencils) and Jamie Grant (digital inks & colors)
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Prof. Challenger
"I want to vomit."-- Harleen Quinzel
Harley Quinn is Paul Dini's most glorious contribution to Batman continuity and now she gets the DETECTIVE treatment in this outstanding stand-alone story.
There seems to be a bit of a debate going on among online fandom as to whether Dini's single-issue stories on DETECTIVE are winners or losers. Personally, I come down on the winners side. Essentially, Dini is adopting the storytelling format of his old BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES but adapting it for comic books and I think this issue is a particularly spectacular example.
One of the benefits of an issue like this is that Harley is so forever defined by the voice performance of the amazing Arleen Sorkin that each and every line of Harley's dialogue in this comic "sounds" like Sorkin herself is uttering them. The other benefit here is that there's more freedom for Dini to explore character moments than when he's forced to fit within the rigid commercial format of TV animation.
This issue's plot revolves around Harley's earnest attempt to go straight. And as with all good stories involving Harley, this plan goes awry. I won't spoil the story but I will say that it ties into earlier issues in Dini's run that involve the new Scarface. Dini also continues a recurring theme throughout his run on DETECTIVE (a holdover from B:TAS) whereby he clonks the reader over the head a little in an attempt to make even the worst of villains somewhat sympathetic. I doubt very much that Dini is a Rand-ian objectivist. In the murky environment of Gotham City, Dini clearly wants to add a dimension of humanity to even the most deadly of Batman's rogues gallery. I'll hold out judgment on whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, because I'm generally the sort who doesn't particularly see the need for every villain to have an aura of sympathy around him. But, so far, Dini has hooked and reeled me in on these stories and I'm thoroughly enjoying what he's doing.
Don Kramer is doing his absolute best work yet on this title. In fact, in a perfect world, I'd own that beautiful splash page right now and have it hanging on my office wall. Kramer impressed me with his work on JSA, but the leaps he's made in his art and storytelling from JSA to DETECTIVE is exponential. In the last year, Kramer's leapfrogged up to one of my favorite modern comic book artists. This issue also sports another knockout graytoned cover by Simone Bianchi.
Editor Pete Tomasi has a great team on this book right now. Just stop with the fill-ins. I'd rather have just 10 issues a year by this team than a forced 12 issues padded out by lesser fill-in teams. This issue, for me, is on par with the earlier Riddler issue. If you haven't read that one, that's a huge compliment. This is good stuff. It ain't "written for the trade" but it's perfectly written for the monthly newsstand.
THE LONERS #1
Writer: C.B. Cebulski
Penciler: Karl Moline
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewed by Humphrey Lee
So Marvel actually saw fit to print a book starring a former New Warrior, a former Power Packer, a guy who was on a team called the Slingers, an ex-Green Goblin, and motherfucking Darkhawk? Honestly, if I wasn't already into the premise of this book after it spun out of RUNAWAYS, I might have bought it on the sheer balls behind its existence anyways.
The short version for those of you who don't know where this book comes from: About a year ago BKV, in a moment of brilliance, introduced a team of former teenage and child superheroes on the mend to the point where they even started a "recovery group" about their time in the tights and boots. And now the team is back, and still doing the old superhero 12-step, and even with a former Spider-Woman (Mattie Franklin) in their midst. But how long before one of these ex-heroes falls off the spandex bandwagon? Come on, that's too obvious.
I really did end up enjoying this book, though, I have to admit. I wasn't going to buy this at first because as much as I think the premise is a very innovative one I wasn't too sure how far you can stretch it out. Once I realized this was only a mini and not an ongoing I was willing to oblige and it turned out to be worth my while despite some flaws on the overall. It was a breath of fresh air to see some characters actually talking about the world of the superhero. The ups and downs of it all, from the adrenaline high the mask brings to the eventual fall and dark side of it, especially in Mattie's case as the last time we saw her as pointed out here in THE LONERS (hey, continuity! Imagine that!) she was constantly drugged up and bits of her were being used to process a drug called Mutant Growth Hormone (as seen in ALIAS).
And there's some good old fashioned superhero slugfesting in here too, of course, as we see at least a couple of our recoverees actually go after some of the MGHers that used to ruin Mattie's life back when and Cebulski and Co. whip out another obscure Marvel denizen, Nekra the Living Vampire. So for the most part this is good, mostly tongue in cheek, but with some genuine heart behind it fun. And yeah, it does have its little flaws: sometimes there's too much exposition for my liking in here, and honestly, while Cebulski does a good job getting you behind Mattie, Darkhawk, and Lightspeed with their pasts and how its affected their lives, there isn't as much due being paid to the others of the group as far as face time and that doesn't really help when you're already dealing with a pretty D-list crowd. If you're going to have a book about characters as obscure as this you really need to make your audience sympathize with them as much as possible, and so far they've only half succeeded.
But when THE LONERS is good it’s really pretty entertaining and does have a story that does make you care at least a little bit about these former teenage misfits. Plus the art job is really pretty solid, the main action sequence in the last third of the book is very kinetic, and hey, someone actually made good note of a nice chunk of Marvel continuity from the past five years or so. Not too shabby when you look at it. This isn't a book that I would recommend you rush to your shop to pick up or anything, but if you happen to have an extra three bones at the shop at some point you can really do worse than to try THE LONERS out and see if you dig what you find. You just never know. Cheers...
WONDER WOMAN #7
Writer: Jodi Picoult
Artist: Drew Johnson
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Squashua
Hey! Circe! Again! Didn't someone just forget to complete a storyline with you and here you are again? Wow! What a surprise! Imagination abounds!
Maybe that's not fair of me. Circe is, pretty much, one of the premiere Wonder Woman villains alongside Cheetah and Giganta, but with those two so recently exposed in the previous storyline, it'd make sense to use someone underutilized like Circe.
Oh, wait. Scratch that. I forget again.
So anyway, let's talk about Wonder Woman's ally, Nemesis. I don't understand this guy. He shows up at least a decade ago during the Eclipso thing, appears for a couple cameos in “Justice League Unlimited”, and now he's Diana's partner. Which is cool because he's like, what, a premiere super-spy who can disguise himself almost along the lines of Marvel's Chameleon. Plus he's one of Sarge Steel's best men, probably up for being included in Checkmate, and yet for the last two Picoult issues, he's come off like a complete amateur douche-bag fan-boy. I can understand being a fan-boy around Wonder Woman. Just look at that broad. But honestly, can the guy manage a mere moment of professionalism?
This storyline is silly, pointless, and not worth my time or yours. Thank the powers that be that Gail Simone is coming on. Much like I dropped FIRESTORM until McDuffie was given the reins, WONDER WOMAN is going to sit there on the shelf until Simone gets her hands on the book. Don't buy this book until then.
NEW AVENGERS #29
Marvel Comics
Someone in last week’s Talkbacks mentioned that supervillains are passé in modern Marvel comics and I have to agree. NEW AVENGERS is the perfect example of this. In this issue, the ancient ninja crime organization known as the Hand aren’t the real bad guys, it’s Iron Man and his lackeys (AKA the Mighty Avengers). If you’ve had enough of heroes fighting heroes and making everyone look bad, don’t pick up this book. The already tired CIVIL WAR storyline continues as The New Avengers play hide and seek with the Mighty Avengers throughout this entire issue. The verbal back & forthings that are Bendis’ forte are ham-fisted and sloppy. The chase grows old because Bendis chooses to pop back and forth throughout the timeline of the story for no real reason other than to give artist Leinil Yu the opportunity to draw another full page group shot. And Bendis proves once again that he should have a restraining order put on him to stay at least one hundred yards from any characters that use magic. In this issue, the New Avengers want to sneak into Japan to rescue Echo from the Hand. When Dr. Strange is asked if he can teleport the team into Japan, he simply states, “No.” and the rest of the Avengers move on as if they haven’t seen Strange pop back and forth between mystical planes like the Dark Dimension for years. No, Bendis’ Stephen Strange, Sorcerer Supreme, resorts to parlor trick “Dani Moonstar” powers like pulling their foes’ greatest fears out of their heads and cloaking them to be invisible to mechanical sensors. Sounds like the Master of the Mystic Arts we all know and love, right?On top of it all, Matt Murdock sends a message to the Avengers to ask them to rescue Echo for him…without giving a single reason why he can’t get off his @$$ and do it himself. I tell ya, Bendis wrote DD as an ineffectual boob in his own comic and continues the trend here without even having the schlub show up on panel. This book is the flip side, the evil opposite, the Bizarro-verse alternative of the surprisingly good MIGHTY AVENGERS which Bendis writes as well. - Bug
WASTELAND #8
Oni Press
So checking in on this title after a good half year or so since I last did, I have to say this book is still rockin’. Johnston and Mitten are really creating a very authentic and very relevant post-apocalyptic world in these pages, and with each issue the story is getting much more dense and socially conscious in the topics it deals with. And now that we've gotten a bit more familiar with our cast of nomads and gone through all the ordeals that we have with them this book is starting to draw me in in the "oh no, not such and such!" way whenever something actually happens to one of them. If there was any flaw in this book to begin with I'd have to say it was a little bit too many concepts and characters and aspects of this amazingly deep story were being thrown at us to truly care, but now that it’s all had a bit of time to soak in this is a title I can fully get behind and recommend. There's a lot here to love and now that there's a trade out there to get started with I think it's time a lot of you get off your keisters and delve into the world of WASTELAND because this book is going to be very interesting to watch unfold. - Humphrey 
JLA CLASSIFIED #37
DC Comics
I can’t seem to shake this book from my pull list. Every time I think of books to cull from my monthly pull, JLA CLASSIFIED comes up. I always tell myself, let’s see what if the next story is good. If not, I’m walking away. I was about to do it when Slott teamed with Jurgens in the last arc, but I found it to be an endearing, old timey read. And I said it again as I leafed through this issue, but I was sucked in again by the nice artwork and the peculiar premise. Peter Milligan does a good job of introducing Kid Amazo and making him stand out from your normal youthful knockoff-type that clutters the DCU these days, setting up an interesting life for the Kid and an interesting situation that endangers that life. This is a fun read that actually plays off of the more unapproachable aspects of the icons in the Magnificent Seven JLA, something that has been a detriment to this title from the beginning. - Bug 
NOVA #1
Marvel Comics
Like the header on cover says, "Rising From ANNIHILATION" is the next chapter in the life of Richard Rider, aka "The Human Rocket", aka NOVA. And as genuinely impressed as I was with the developments in his life from that Marvel event, I really can't say the same for this issue. I just found myself so bored and even frustrated with this book it's not even funny. Firstly, it's like the pairing of Abnett & Lanning (two guys who I respect a lot and even really liked on the NOVA mini they did for ANNIHILATION) both had seizures and forgot how to write in non-cliches and lay off the exposition. Yes, I know that Richard is supposed to have the Nova Corps Worldmind in his head now, but he still goes on more monologues than Jay Leno can pull down in a year. That's all that happens here. He talks and talks, and then transports from planet to planet fucking shit up to the point where he exhausts himself. Why? Because he feels angry and overwhelmed by the loss of the Nova Corps. Really? I didn't know that after hearing about that EVERY OTHER PAGE in ANNIHILATION itself!! I really hope this is just the equivalent of a really bad pilot that was trying too hard and too needlessly to show everyone why this book exists. Usually I give a new title a whole arc to sell me, but after this performance the next issue is going to be all or nothing for me. HumphreyCheck out the @$$oles’ ComicSpace AICN Comics page here for an archive and more @$$y goodness.
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And I just signed up too!
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What the fuck? I had time to read this whole thing sign up, post the first post, AND post this entire fucking second post before anyone posted a single thing?
Also, Bendis sucks now, and that Bizzaro-esque review was too full of paradoxes to make any goddam sense. Great issue though -
--Avengers is the ONE good thing to come out of Civil War. For those of us who hated how Civil War turned out, that is. I WANT to see Hero VS. Hero because, let's be honest, we did not get closure on that front. The bad guys won in Civil War, not because they won the fight, but because the good guys FORFEITED. I'm enjoying New Avengers and I've never liked it before.
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had the most kickass last page i've seen in a while.
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If not it makes no sense at all! None at all!!! *confused*
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In a comic? Wow, that's really sad, mate. Try the internet. You might see some real ones.
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Even though I had to repeatedly abandon it to save my brain.
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I loved Man-Thing. Strong and silent type.
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Completely under appreciated and rarely done right. This a character that should be very popular. Hell, Nova would make a better movie than Green Lantern. I bet Marvel makes a Nova movie before Warners figures out how to make a Green Lantern movie.
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Umm...wow...research a little before you make comments like "Who is this guy?" Nemesis actually first appeared in the (at the time) Batman team-up book, the Brave and the Bold in 1980 and has been around for 27 years now. He hardly came out of nowhere.
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Marvel's charactes have become so unrelatable that it is alienating many readers. I think Old School writers like Zeb Wells, Slott, and Parker ARE going to be the ones readers will turn to to read about the characters they love done with respect. Marvel is painting themselves into such a corner these days that they have onyl two options: return to old school with new tricks such as a more sophisticated type of storytelling OR hit the restart button on the Marvel U to get these characters back to their iconic and heroic status once again.
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I never said he came out of nowhere. I related his Eclipso appearance. My complaints in the review, had you read it, were that he was being treated like a complete dumbass.
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or not? Doesn't Bizarro speak in opposite and if that's supposedly Bizarro speaking wouldn't he not like the comic because he gets beaten up?
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Zibarro is the best thing added to the mythos since The Eradicator.
Yes, I like the Eradicator.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee-RRRRRADICATOR!!!!!!!!! -
The Bizzaro review was just too much. If it was a paragraph, that would have been funny. Not the whole damn thing.
Besides, the romance of the silver age is getting rather old. I'm glad this is just a mini-series. Some how a creature from "Under the Universe" is supposed to be more acceptable then "failed Luthor" clone? And whats this meek Lois Lane "Come back to me?" crap?While the All-Star Superman is ment to be an experiment in letting creators create-it shows what happens when they are given free reign.
On the Paul Dini Detective. If you have been paying attention, certian plot strings are being drawn tighter. The issues ARE interconnected, Dini said so at last San Diego Comicon. Its been said that Dini's Detective and Grants Batman are begining to get closer in numbers. More people are picking up Dini, because his stories are reliable and on time more or less. Grant Morrison silver age silliness has been delayed too often, and not worth the trip. He's been loosing long time readers who don't feel like reading about Man Bat Nijias or over thought out "Super Insane Jokers from HELL"
As far as Wonder Woman is concerned. Haven't been impressed with this writer. Not a fan of "Super Spy" Diana. And while I like the character of Nemisis, Sasquash is right in poitning out that this guy suddenly became lame
Oh and Sasquash-Nemisis was also in the Suicide Squad. -
#1 was pretty good. And it had giant monsters and a genuine super-villain. I'll believe I'll give #2 a try.
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that Sasquatch thing would be funny if I actually had any hair left.
Maybe it's more ironic, don'tcha thing?
It's like RAAAAAAAAIIIIIINNN... -
My box is already over-full with books, now I have to add more? At least the library here gets mad amounts of trades...I can finally read the 1st part of All-Star superman now. I'm also sick of WW; Gail Simone hopefully is what was needed.
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The Bizarro review wasn't that bad, guys. You try keeping up Bizarro talk for 6 paragraphs. I think the pop culture and kitty references sold it, personally, though shouldn't it have been "What am going through Marvel Comics' mind to publish such wonderful crap?"?
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And come to think of it, I'm really going to have to pick up the first trade of ASS on a week I'm not being nuked by WW3 books..
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What do you think about where the underlying story is going? Riddler's clearly a big part of this and I think Dini's having a number of rogues go straight (Riddler, Penguin, now Harley) so he can turn 'em bad again in one fell swoop. I think Riddler may even be bad again right now: he got conked on the head in #826 (the one with the flaming arrow). I wonder how some recurring characters like Alex Loxias or the new Scarface might factor in..And I have to mention that all the fill-ins haven't been so bad. Stuart Moore really threw off the feel Dini was creating with that two-parter of his, but Royal McGraw wasn't too shabby with his Doctor Phosphorus story. The art kept the feel of things and the story was a simple bit of detective work with a cute ending that felt rather old school. I look forward to his Terrible Trio story.
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Bug, Old School Marvel isn't coming back anytime soon. Marvel sales are currently thru the roof...so why would they change things now? Your nostalgia for 1980s story telling is what has you disliking the current stories...but if there are young people buying comics these days (are there?)...this current story telling will end up being their nostalgia.
But all things are cyclical, so someday writers like Slott may rule the pages of Marveldom...I just don't think it will be anytime soon.
Personally, I like the stories from the 1970s and 80s...and I also like what is going on now. I haven't read much from before the 70s. -
The archive of past reviews at our Comicspace account has been updated.
Check it out at: http://tinyurl.com/2stfq8 -
Basically going back and telling stories in the way Stan and Jack told them is not the way to go. I agree with a lot of what the writer of the SHAZAM movie said in that those old stories were very sloppily done and not really fun to read mainly because comic book writing has become a bit more sophisticated these days, as have the readers. Back then, plot holes were fine, since the average 10 year old reader either didn't catch it or cared less about things like that. When I say Old SChool, I don't mean a return to that type of storytelling.
I'm talking about the fun that I used to have while reading Marvel Comics. It's not there anymore. Heroes are being torn down in big events and writers aren't even taking the time to build them up. All of the latest "events" from Marvel have basically centered around destroying something. House of M killed most of the mutants. Avengers Disassembled did the same for the Avengers. Civil War sealed the deal making sure that sides were taken, teams were broken, and longstanding friendships were shattered. This has been a three year stint of destroying things and with the Deathy of Cap, there seems to be no end in sight. How about building something unstead of tearing down everything that has come before? Pretty soon there isn't going to be left at Marvel to tear down. Some characters, I fear, are past the point of no return. Already, Marvel is scampering around trying to sympathize Iron Man and Reed who have become awful shades of their former heroic characters. NOwadays, every time I see Reed or Tony, I immediately have a dislike for them. Is that what Marvel really wants to happen to two of their biggest characters? -
Pretty much nailed everything in the Marvel Universe at this point?
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I dunno. I've just got bored with all the "OMG LOOK AT WHAT AMAZING WORLD CHANGING THING WE'LL DO NEXT!" They're jumping the shark, as it were, and they're going to really suck once they stop the yearly company wide crossovers. Seriously, can't they focus on the individual comics and simply make references/cameos like they used too instead of 4 or 5 issue long crossovers into the 'big event'. I've dropped pretty much alla my Marvel comics in favor of the likes of The Goon and Walking Dead, and Invincible. At least those aren't desperate for attention like marvel's been doing these last few years.
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When people invoke "old school" do they really mean "decent writing"? Or maybe superheroes acting "heroically"? I sometimes have to analyze whether I am being all nostalgic for the feelings that certain comics I read invoked or if sooperhero comics really were written better back in the day. I came to the conclusion that the '80's were a period to be nostalgic for. The '90s not so much. Tell me. Am I being an old fogey and just remembering that time in romantic sepia tones?Full disclosure I am 34 so that I was an '80s kid but my brother had been collecting since the late to early '60s and I used to read his all the time so it's not like that was my first exposure.
Although I don't particularly like the writing on silver age DC books(although I love me some SA Legion of Superheroes) the ideas that came out of that era were so weird and fantastic and I for one am glad that DC is mining that era because there is gold in them thar hills. I mean seriously, those guy's were doing chronic, kush and purple ribbon ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Unfortunately, the stories did not make much sense.
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While sales are this high, I doubt Marvel is too worried about building their characters back up right now. All the tearing down (and I agree with you..that is all that is going on these past few years) is bringing in $$ and that is going to be their ultimate goal, of course. Now, the music industry is a good example of how you can't stay on top for long if you keep doing the same thing for too long, so I have to believe that Marvel has a "turn around plan" brewing on the back burner. At some point the heroes will need to be heroes again. That point will most likely be started once sales start falling again. And they will start falling eventually, because like I said before, everything is cyclical.
How they go about turning things around, I don't know. Right now they themselves probably don't have a hardline for that either. But they will work it out when the time is right. For me, as long as they don't do a reboot, I will be fine. I don't care for flat out reboots. I even read one dud at Marvel talking about scrapping their traditional numbering system...and going with, for exampe, #1-#6 for a story, and then going back to #1 for the next story. But that is a totally different topic I won't even get started on right now. Back to the point, I think fun, heroic comics will be back someday, but just not in the near future. And I don't mean reverting back to the Stan Lee written era. Comics will never go that far back. Those comics are wordy, flat out reading the story write into your mouth. Now days comics read more like a movie or tv show, with very few thought bubbles and now little panel boxes describing exactly what the character is doing at that point. -
Six or seven years ago, when Jemas was still there, Marvel books were barely tied together at all. Continuity was like a dirty word. Now the books are so tied together that Spider-Man doesn't make sense unless you read Civil War, which doesn't make sense unless you read Fantastic Four, etc. How about a happy medium?
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I'm going to have to check that one out. I loved Darkhawk. Haven't bought a comic in ages, keep updated through this site and IGN, but I haven't liked what I've been reading lately. I'm in the "heros should be heros" camp 100%.
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I used to say, "Continuity doesn't have to mean that in FF, Benn Grimm lets a beerfart on the roof of the Baxter Building and Daredevil doesn't have to smell it in his book if it is released in the same week." Some kind of happy medium could be met, but Marvel would have to pare down its titles if they are looking for any type of cohesiveness. Marvel is spread out way too much lately. Too many titles. Too many characters in every title. Not enough communication in office. If the Wrecking Crew battles She-Hulk and Omega Flight in the same week, someone at editorial should try to make things happen. I believe that's the way it used to work, but with the way things are run these days, I think Marvel is just happy to have a story from these ever-late writers/artists and rushes out to run it before checking any type of timetable.
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Seriously Prof. That Bizarro review...classic.
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When Jemas was around there weren't any big crossover events from what I remember. He just seemed to want good comics being made and wanted the stories stand for themselves. Nowadays Al Quesada just wants to take everything back to the 90's with multiple covers, "shocking" events, and lackluster characterization covered up by pretty, or at least, different art. Pretty much anything I buy from Marvel is outside of their core universe...like SPIDER-MAN LOVES MARY JANE and that's going to end soon...oh, well. I don't even pick up ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN anymore after the Clone Saga...but I will possibly continue it in trade. But that's it for me and Marvel...kinda makes me sad.
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exactly why it didn't work and was tedious to read.
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Shooting even MORE flaming arrows into even MORE dudes with blowfish strapped to their heads!
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One of the reasons I miss Jemas, right there. Anyone read Hellboy: Makoma?? That comic was the SHIT. Seriously folks, put down the weed and big 2 crap, and buy it. I don't read BPRD but it seems like the only Hellboy stuff coming out is the occasional mini, and they are all stellar.
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Multiple covers has to stop. Even when they are released 50/50 it is annoying as hell. Is anybody really buying two of the same comic just for the cover? I hope not. And it kind of reminds me of, 1995 I think, when Marvel started printing two of every issue. One was Standard while one was Deluxe and priced slightly higher. They said they were testing which paper would sell better, but you know they were going to switch to all Deluxe eventually anyway...so really it was a cheap trick.
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Anyone else read that article on this site? Relevant here at all?
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The Enterprise was attacked by giant farts several times in the original Star Trek series. And that was fine for a 1960s tv show...but a new milennium summer blockbuster...with the FF in it no less...should have a giant dude in purple.
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Seriously...Guy Davis is the MAN...
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It was with him that all that decompression nonsense started. Who would allow a Hulk comic in which the Hulk never appears? He also didn't understand comics unless you ripped them off of movies. Silver Surfer = Communion, Thunderbolts = Fight Club, etc.
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Wasn't the Ultimate line his brainchild? I admit, I hated the idea at first, but it turned out prety cool.
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It SHOULD be a giant purple guy in a huge helmet! With crackling cosmic energy surrounding him ala old school Kirby dots! Man, talk about no imagination! A really talented filmaker would be able to make Lee and Kirby's Galactus work and seem scary as HELL!
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Sucks to be only a linear thinker only now doesn't it? Now shut the fuck up and go back to numbering your comic boxes, those of us capable of both abstract and linear thinking (like me and Thalya for example) had no problem at all and caught the funny to boot.
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So, um, no they're not more relevant now. Remember, Marvel thought it was relevant because Rob Liefeld was in those Levis commercials. The bar is not high for Marvel relevance. And the ONLY reason non collectors are talking about Marvel is because of the Spider-Man movies.
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Is that people are talking about it. For example, I often side with Psynapse. Yet, I generally dislike anything Prof C. writes. For example, the Bizarro review was, IMO, dreadful. As posted, very tedious and I admit I didn't actually finish reading the entire review.
Now, my hater side is somewhat vindicated as people are falling off the She-Hulk love train,for that book has been overrated since the relaunch. And the art is so often subpar that I am used to it by now. Yet, my habit keeps me buying this book.
Despite my habit of buying books that aren't good anymore, one issue of Picuolt was actually so terrible that I've dropped it, as apparently have so many others, until Simone comes onboard.
OK, AICN, I shall purchas Dini's Detective based on this review. I have generally been quite happy with the recommendations I've gotten here.
Sadly, I agree that the horrible, depressing current Marvel shall continue for some time. It does seem to be quite successful. Yet I am about to again drop Thunderbolts because it is just too depressing. Although I preferred the multifaceted Moonstone to the current, all-evil version, I can take it. But Robbie Baldwin's Penance is just too much for me. And I hate, hate, hate the guts of Iron Man now, which may be what Marvel intends. So many Marvel "heroes" are currently just reprehensible, and I agree with reviewers who said they don't want to read comics that are no fun, even if they are "well-written." I can't even sample Mighty Avengers, since they're all the pro-registration "heroes," and now am most liking New Avengers, since at least they're representing something positive. But it's sadly accurate that many, if not most, readers couldn't care less about respecting any particular characters (except, probably, Superman and Batman). -
Am i the only one excited for this Annihilation: Star-Lord thing? The return of my RR?! I was trying to boycott Marvel after killing cap (not that they care) - but i'd fight a baby to read this. comics are crack. oh yeah - bendis sucks. thank you.
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I found it difficult not because I didn't understand it or had trouble following it or because I'm not "capable of both abstract and linear thinking"... I simply found it annoying.
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I kind of like him for the reasons you mentioned, too. It was so out there that it almost worked. And yeah I believe the Ultimate line was in part his doing. Speaking of which, you Bendis haters can suck it, I thought the "chicken wings" thing in the latest USM was hilarious.
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check out what he should look like: (no idea where this came from) remove the spaces: http://kungfurodeo.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/galactus_head.jpg
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Hey, I'm just glad that "my" She-Hulk and WW reviews are being read considering the greatness (no Bizarro-speak there) of the Bizarro review. One review usually overshadows all the others. I love that thing he wrote. Or, rather, "Me hate!"
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That's persons prerogative after all. I'm just saying for those that are annoyed because they were unable to follow it, well, sucks to be you then. Now get back to sucking my dick!
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Looks like it's from that recent Marvel Alliance video game. Kung Fu Rodeo... I remember them from back when they were 4 Color Review.
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Actually, he's Marvel's Mr. Mxyzptlk equivalent.
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Floating around, is it safe to say that All-Star Superman is the best Superman comic ever? I'll say it. Also, Morrison's last issue of Batman was actually really good. I think it was the best one I've seen yet and, hey, maybe you should give it a whirl.
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Hwy, there's an idea for a better villain in FF2. Other villains who are cooler than clouds include Thanos, Dr. Doom, Annihlus, Namor, Paste-Pot Pete, Swarm, Clones, and oh yeah, Galactus MOTHERFUCKER!
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I miss him too, even though it was his fault Morrison left Marvel. And that Bruce Jones Hulk run was awesome at first. Good stories, JRJr art and those awesome Kaare Andrews covers.
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"Those of us capable of both abstract and linear thinking (like me and Thalya for example)" Wow.
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You don't see stuff like that anymore. Back then i was reading Morrison's New X-Men, Jones' Hulk and X-Statix...good times indeed I also downloaded Hellboy: Makoma but haven't read it yet. Corben + Hellboy = Orgasm
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would be represented as a gob of silly putty.
Johnny: That alien over there copied the Family Circle from Sunday's funnies.
Ben: That's impossible!!! -
And unless I've missed something, so are you. (*_^)
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Civil War makes comics relevant again? No it's just flashy and grabbing attention because they're "SHAKING UP/DOWN TEH UNIVERSE! IT IS TEH ROXXOR!". It's simply, like i said, JUMPING THE GOD DAMN SHARK. Grasping at straws and doing whatever they can to draw away from the fact that they've run low on ideas and rehashing shit from the 90s. Hell, if they wanted comics to be talked about, just make the Invisble Woman and Storm lovers. That'll garner attention: Interracial extramarital affair seeking lesbians! YES! That'd stir up shit AND get even the mainstream media talking about it like they did cap's 'death'. And since they brought back Cap Marv, ain't no way Cap America is staying dead. Quesada, Bendis, I hate both of you. EVERYONE GO READ INVINCIBLE INSTEAD!
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I agree about Detective and She-Hulk. I disagree about New Avengers, but I can't really argue my points because I like the art, I like the action, and I like the story. I like the cross cutting. I think it's the coolest team-up in Marvel comics I've read since I jumped aboard about 14 months ago. I'll admit I can have superficial interests in comics. My reasoning for ignoring Mighty Avengers is that I don't like the team assembled.
I laughed at the line about Strange not being able to transport them to Japan but being able to transport them to a jet that can take them to Japan. These and the Illuminati issues are all I have read of Dr. Strange, so I have no idea what his exact capabilities are. I think it's actually my favourite title at the moment.
The good news is that I have purchased Pride of Baghdad and will be getting into that shortly. -
That All-Star Superman is the best Superman comic ever.
I think Jemas also started the Max line. Quesada was the guy who limited it to publishing 1 title. Max, where have you gone? Come back Max!
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Bizarro review, that is exactly what.
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what whoever said.
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Got to the shop because I'm off today and not a (totally) bad book in my 10 book pull.
Guggenheim's Flash keeps on with the solidity (Tony Daniel starts on this issue too). Also, major Weather Wizard development! Rock on! I love me some Rogues.52 was downright epic and everything it needed to be. The four oneshot accompaniments were.. *wavers hand* They filled in some blanks nicely with some good artwork in places (of course nothing tops Justiniano in the main book) and if I didn't have enough sense to avoid that Brave New World Martian Manhunter mini I'd probably understand what they were trying to retcon with J'onn. And as much as I've loved Keith Champagne's recent stuff, he skimped on the plot points advertised on the covers of his issues.B&B#3 keeps on rocking: Batman and Blue Beetle trump a Supergirl/GL pairing any day. Manhunter!!! Not ending! Really, it's not! (though it would've been the sweetest send-off if it was) Wonder Woman in a Hummer! If Joker can't get Jimmy Olsen he'd better stay the hell away from Dylan! And best for last: Gail Simone's never been better on BoP, and I have her entire run. She excels with very large casts, and she gives everyone a distinct personality and motivation, and she's just having a blast. Nicola Scott's a real find too - she's got a mix of Joe Bennett and Dale Eaglesham going on and she draws a shiny Harley Quinn. -
blackthought agrees with me.
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But whatever. If i were running Marvel i would've found a way to publish those Icon books under the MAX imprint and have Bendis and Brubaker and Mack retain the rights. It still works as creator owned comics published by Marvel AND it reinvigorates the imprint. Having your cake and all that.
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It'd be a great idea to have an imprint that publishes 4 or 5 titles instead of three that publish 1 or 2. Yo Vale, you wanna own Marvel Comics with me?
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Yeah, I want cake. That stuff isn't even like pie size. Muffins man, muffins.
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Every night. And loves it. So there.
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WOW. There isn't a single panel in the entire book that makes ANY character look good. This was the most un-attractive, un-appealing, and downright ugly (not to mention misshapen in full body shots) looking mainstream superhero. I will drop this book like yesterday's bad fashion if I have to look at Al B.'s 'art'(which, he's simply 'photoreferencing' without having the brains to use an actual lightbox, trust me on this) much more.....
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One's a talented and beautiful illustrator, the other's a hack. You figure it out.
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either She-Hulk or Slapstick, who might be getting as larger role in The Initiative.
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Really, the guy yet to finish 1 four issue story in his career.
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That fucking caveman with the cool armor was THE SHIT. Solar was the bomb. Great art and great stores, until Jim Shooter left.
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He was forced out. True story.
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Seriously buddy, the bit was played out after the first paragraph. Maybe the AICN should put you on the Archie and Jughead beat for awhile.
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Archie and that knucklehead, Jughead, need to get the @sshole treatment. Now I gotta go buy a couple issues. Hmmm. Maybe I'll just wait till FREE COMIC DAY and then review the Archie freebie...
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Visionaries are rarely understood in their own time. Welcome to AICN, where trying ANYTHING out of the norm will get you trolled. Well BRING IT fuckers......
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In Bizarro-speak you just COMPLIMENTED The Prof., dipshit. (Which is probably part if why he's laughing at you too)
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He no fuck sheep.
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Can you Bizarro-review it too?
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I'm working on a project that has a giant alien villain. Of course, I'm ripping off Galactus. But if he's a giant in the movie, people will say I'm ripping off a crappy movie. If I rip off good source material, it's a homage.
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...puddle.
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...a stain.
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...they'll be passing out some scratch and sniff cards. When he's supposed to appear, the movie will cue us and we scratch our card because there's nothing more threatening than an odor.
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Great stuff. Black Adam vs the 36 Chambers of the Wu, I mean the great 10. I kept waiting for Shaolin Robot to start spittin' mad flow at 'em. Shimmy Shimmy Yo, Shimmy Ya!!
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wait...what is going on here...and god i love black adam...from the old johns jsa run and anything that pushes him to the forefront of dc consciousness is a good thing. and um...i must be on lost next year. i must.
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Who the fuck is Black Adam?
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As in "Wu-Tang Clan aint nothing to fuck with?" Hot damn! We must all buy that comic book now. Anything with Ghostfae Killer in it is a classic.
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Even tho' Black Adam totally MURDERED them to death. Those guys had some cool ass names. Except for the Yeti. That was kind of lame.
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Is that those crazy Chinese Grant Morrison dudes? (I stopped reading 52 around issue... 8?) If so, cool, I might actually pick that up, since I enjoyed them and I enjoy some Black Adam.
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It seems to me that Black Adam has been dealth with at the end of 52 #50 (good issue, although how he's dealt with isn't terribly original) but then he's back for WWIII being dealt with again. Did I miss something? I won't be more specific in order to avoid spoiling.
But I always wonder why people holler so much about spoilers, anyway. Why come here, or wherever, to read about a book/movie/show, whatever, if you don't want anything "spoiled?" -
WWW III, is basically the same fight in 52 #50 except told through J'onn J'onz perspective. It also clears up some plot points that I think 52 itself was supposed to clear up. And it does it lamely. I very rarely pick up books without flipping through them, but for some inexplicable reason I did with these. I wish I had not. In my opinion, you could just buy 52 and troll the blogs to find out what happened in WWIII
Shigaru, yeah those were the guys. Oh, and SPOILER for my last post. Sorry. -
Owa Tagu Siam!
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One of our founding members, the Village Idiot, did a brilliant comparisan of Archie to the GREAT GATSBY (I shit you not). Probably the people who hate the BIZARRO review would hate it too. I remember that one because I did a review of AGENT X in the form of letters to teen idol magazines, from the perspective a middle schooler stalking Gail. You'd have hated that one too. We used to do a lot of cool stuff that everybody hated.
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Oh hell yeah, I've written my share of experimental stuff here and there. You know, love poems written in the form of poems that already existed and such... Although maybe it's just a general distaste of Prof. Challenger that fuels the hatred. I finally got to pick up All Star Superman 7 and I can see why he'd be so stoked for Bizarro.
If y'all haven't heard, I'm doing coverage of Spiderman: Back in Black, so stay tuned for reviewing excellence. OR at the very least, stay tuned for a few hate filled rants.
Was also lucky enough to get Thunderbolts this week, and it was indeed pretty awesome for a comic with no action. I give it my gold ribbon of excellence.
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The events of WWWIII take place within the time frame of 52 issue #50. Sort of like one issue wasn't enough so they did a big 4 issue expansion on the Black Adam battle. I thought a comic a week was crazy. But four issues of a series in one week? Daaamn.
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indeed.
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52 #50: One of the best damn books yet this year. Black Adam is THE SHIT.WWWII: Wow, That was 'meh'. lameness abounded. That was a one-ish story streeeetched way too far.Hey DC? Thanks but I've wasted enough money on Tween Titans, Shadowpunk'd, and the Personal Exposition League of America, they're off the pull list, bitches. Give me ring when they don't suck rancid ass and attempt to spew it back out as steak au poivre.
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Manga.
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I've never read any.
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berserk!
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start with Lone Wolf & Cub plz
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Dude that's the Mickey D's of manga! (Okay more like the Wendy's of manga but still) Yo Looda! I recommend 'Uzumaki' if Horror is your gig.
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I was in for Disturbing but ended up with a face full of Silly.
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so is blade of the immortal, tezuka's ouptut...etc...
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O-kaaaay....
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But it seems the only manga I can find involves Naruto and/or big tittied girls. Sigh. One day. One day.
Yesterday, I found another issue of the Madman spinoff series "The Atomics" so my comic needs are satisfied for the next month or so. I've got four of these babies now, and it's like I'm a space piarte finding a chest of space treasure when I find 'em. -
Both the manga and the light novel are excellent. Don't let the silly name fool you, it's WAAAY deep.
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"The man who came from the sky, the woman made from his design-the twisted, strange events they brought about must have begun around that time. Right as my heart had been broken."
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..........
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Oops.
Pardon me for releasing some Galactus. I had Mexican last night. -
At least according to Beast Boy..
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That's all I have to say.
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oh, nevermind..
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Seriously T, what the hell are you tawkin' 'bout?
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And yet, it seems I SHOULD know this.
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I'm workin' on it..
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Igeddit, Igeddit.
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really.
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For fuck's sake, this is getting out of control! Jesus fucking christ! Would they shut up already? Just fucking die already! Sorry, you all have no idea what that was about.
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A 3 foot metal tub and some lye should do nicely for disposing of the bodies.
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...a knife fight on a Haittian beach as zuvembie slaves look on...a renegade US general gone missing...and only a rookie cop knows the answer to a mystery that may blow the lid off the darkest conspiracy is history...
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...you may think that's a typo that couldn't be fixed because AICN doesn't have an edit feature. But could it be one of those stupid DA VINCI CODE clues like SO BORING THE CON OF MAN? Could it, College Boy? Could it?
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Smoke some more, dude. Yeah it's popular, but not as much as one would think (not too popular with the kiddies these days). And since it's SO FUCKING GOOD wouldn't it be more like the Casablanca of Manga? You will get a shitload of people saying it's their favorite, but it doesn't make it any less good.
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I just started reading Death Note >_>
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I just had to rag 'cuz ever'body like 'Lone Wolf'. Still say Boogiepop owns though.
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hm. I have the other comic work from him/them and to put it best, I'm skeptical http://forum.newsarama.com/showthread.php?t=110116
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was always interested in the manga and anime but never got into it. hm.
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Sorry folks, due to some technical problems there won't be a column for this week. Thanks to everyone who submitted entries for the 28 Days Later contest. They will be announced next week when we celebrate our fifth year at AICN and start @$$HOLES YEAR SIX! Again, we apologize for not having a column this week. Every now and then a bye week is necessary for us to refuel the engines. I will now stop typing in order for y'all to start ripping on me...
Just kidding' I love all of yous guys. -
I know watcha mean about the refueling. Now we just need to let loose with the discussion and craziness like we haven't for the past week. We were about a quart low on the craziness, I think..We need a deep philosophical discussion topic now, dammit! And we already discussed thought balloons awhile back..
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Really? I've been out of it this week. No problem Bug, the Cogs are like Cassaday and Ellis late, like Shaolin Cowboy late… well, maybe not that bad, but y'know - late still. I blame Vale for not writing everything. Yeah, that's it. We didn't talk about the fake Joker pics? Norton as Hulk? Green Arrow in a womans prison escape movie? Spidey 3? Spidey 4, 5, 6? C'mon! Aren't we supposed to talk about that sort of stuff? Who's well trimmed?
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You might want to read the manga or novel BEFORE watching the Boogiepop Phantom anime. The anime will confuse the FUCK out of you but it will be TOTALLY worth it once you get to the end. The anime expounds and is susbsequent to the events of the novel& manga. Oh and pay CLOSE attention every second of the anime, there is SO much imbedded and if you don't have the Echoes/Manticore conflict (from the novel & manga) to fall back on you most likely will be fooled as to who is who and what is what for quite a few of the episodes. Oh and Boogiepop Phantom has one of the best openning songs EVER.
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Q: What is the best anime opening theme song of all time? A: Dragon Half Please, Psy, be old-school enough to get that. ? And as the only other member of the cogs who digs anime (so it seems), you didn't comment on my AB pics! The zombie Aeris was my fav...
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OMG what an oldy but a goody. Dunno about all time best though, for me that may be 'Haunted Junction''s opener. (Luuuurve that song!)
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@$$es, Cogs, Trolls, whomever...
What are your top 5 favorite anime (TV, movie or OAV) and why? -
Where again (VERY busy at work and scatterbrained)?
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My favorite anime cartoons.
1. Metropolis
2. Akra
3. Princess Monoke
Unfortunately, those are really the only animes I've seen, apart from the ol' days of Saturday morning Digimon Whatever channel Pokemon was on, we didn't get, so I wasn't able to jump onto that bandwagon. and Wednesday night Dragonball Z, which I really only watched like twice anyway.
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Top Five Anime Series of All Time1. Giant Robo: The first anime series that sucked me in and had me dying with anticipation for the next chapter…not so much for the story itself but the animation! WOW! Great, great stuff that holds up today. LOVE this series.2. Samurai Champloo: This thing just kicks ass and is funny all the way through with an ending that did not disappoint like so many anime have. Love the animation, characterization, and soundtrack. Champloo is awesome, awesome, awesome!3. Cowboy Bebop: Yes, I know this is an easy pick but still…c’mon…who doesn’t love Cowboy Bebop? I mean it’s just great! Another great soundtrack along with great characters make this a must see.4. Neon Genesis Evangelion: Mindfuck anyone? Seriously over the top, whiny, tripped out anime that I couldn’t stop watching to save my life. This is an anime series if Stanley Kubrik had directed it on acid. 5. Berserk: Great but violent and heavy sword epic that has a bizarre ending because of production being cut off before they could finish the series. Still, a great ride that eventually sucks you in and won’t let go. Too bad the ending leaves you hanging but it’s still worth a watch…
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Ninja Scroll is not only my favorite anime flicks, it's one of my all time Top 10 movies of any genre. Jubei! Gemma! Kagero! They have powers, and nudity! If you like comics, you'll love this, believe me.
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Because I messed up the tags again. But I went to the store and checked for those previously mentioned mangas... Nowhere to be found, apart from the Boogiepop novel. But I do want to check out that Uzukami when I get the chance.
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When I was four years old, they had this Japanese cartoon called MARINE BOY. It was about a kid in a suit with devil horns who swallowed a tube that let him breathe underwater. Genius that I was, I swallow a fucking butter knife. Ma Maverik was going to have one of my fucking brothers who was on leave from Viet-fucking-Nam perform a tracheotomy on me on the dining room table. That was a good motivator for me to gag up the knife. Then, Ma made me throw the knife away and my brother, who's like this Sergeant wanted for war crimes in Cambodia calls me "dumb shit" for the next ten years. Therapy, how did you guess? Anyway, since then, I distrust all cartoon characters with huge eyes who breathlessly deliver huge amounts of dubbed dialogue.
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...Gigantor was about this kid who controlled a giant robot. The Amazing Three was about this kid who befriended these three aliens who were transformed into animals (I only remember that the girl alien became a rabbit, I don't know what the other two aliens were) who traveled around in this giant rolling wheel. And of course, SPEED RACER.
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Okay so Psy decides to buy the trade of Green Lantern: Rebirth because everyone said it was the shit and hey, it sold out like a motherfucker when it was monthly. So I read the 'introduction' (Yeah RIGHT) by Meltzer. The ASSHAT (Yeah I DO hope you read this you fucking fanbozo!) SPOILS THE FUCK out of key story beats. He even goes so far as to BULLET POINT THEM. No wonder Justice League has sucked so much rancid ass, this tool is stuck in fanboy mode. Fuck you Brad, Fuck You.
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that Psy doesn't like JLA. neither do I.
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for the world to see: http://tinyurl.com/2g8x2g should work.
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Darn it....I miss you guys this week! :^) Now you'll just have to post the anniversary article a little early for us!
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"More comics should begin with the violent death of an old man at the hands of teeny, tiny ninja puppets. Take notes, Meltzer! And Meltzer, if you HAVE taken notes and you do this, DO NOT HAVE THE PUPPETS RAPED AND KILLED. They have done nothing to you, Meltzer. Moving on... "
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Newsarama later today. Possible announcement of Angel season 6.
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Can I put "all miyazaki movies" as one entry? Or shit, how about "all ghibli movies"? No? Okay, let's do it this way in no particular order: Neon Genesis Evangelion (series and movies). maybe my favorite thing ever. Kare Kano (his and her circumstances). Hideaki Anno again. Ruroni Kenshin Trust and Betrayal (Samurai X). Holy shit this is good, get the director's cut. Cowboy Bebop. Serial Experiments Lain Akira special mentions: Ninja Scroll, Macross Plus, Dragon Half, Vampire Hunter D (orig), Slayers, Tenchi Muyo stuff. Top 10 Ghibli/Miyazaki works: 1: Spirited Away 2: Grave of the Fireflies 3: Laputa 4: Nausicaa 5: Porco Rosso 6: Lupin III: Castle of Cogliostro 7: 8: Mononoke 9: Whisper of the Heart 10: Howl's Moving Castle. ??
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There's no love for Fullmetal Alchemist? Anyone? Anyone?
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Should be in there somewhere.
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You sir, are very sexy when haniging out with Totoro.
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at least you didn't say Naruto? Looda: Thanx. I prefer that to getting killed by giant robot.
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Snooty McSnootypants.
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I got called snooty by the girl who's in Mensa ^_^
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But clearly you're too dumb to see that. -_^
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Followed by Spirited Away. And I have Fullmetal Alchemist but I have yet to watch an episode of it. Too busy. Yet I do love me some Naruto...I'm up to episode 101 and the shit is just getting crazy good...
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That was some great stuff too...but not in my top 5 I don't think.
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i keed i keed ^_^
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Mee-yow. Kittens with claws, here!
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Mew.
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TV shows: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Eureka 7, Fullmetal Alchemist, Blue Seed, Devilman lady ( I LOVE Go Nagai!!).OAVS: Giant Robo, Devilman, Gunbuster, Read or Die, Mazinkaiser. Movies: Urusei Yatsura: Beautiful Dreamer, My Neighbor Totoro, Swept Away, Project A-Ko, Princess Mononoke (Miyazake OWNS bitches).
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Has anyone seen Metropolis? It's not an anime remake of the German movie, as someone tried to tell me it was, but it's certainly a good film. I know that I'm no expert, but I'd like to recomend it.
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I was just listing my favorite anime series...Read or Die is kickass...
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Swept Away? Madonna made an anime?
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OK, I've only read his Identity Crisis, but I surely did hate that one, and felt it showed a certain tone--pompous, ponderous, morose and borderline misogynist--that would affect his other work. So I have not read anything else he's written.
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and um...other stuff too.
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It is true. Sorry.
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PLEASE tell me you've seen 'Swept Away'. If not, you NEED to, trust a loony Psy on this.
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this topic is now about who would win in a fight: unit 01 or a big gundam (possibly the nerdiest fight ever, next to NC-1701D vs. a Star Destroyer)
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are ALL OVER Mighty Avengers. abuh???
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Did a new issue of Walking Dead come out Wednesday? My shop didn't get it.
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I'll be there in next week. If anyone lives there I'll say hi. Also, I'm seeing Spider-Man 3 opning day in Imax. Something everyone is hating me for right now.
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'Cause I've seen the Miyazaki, but not the Madonna.
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This is what happens when your work is insanely busy and your every waking moment is consumed with attempting to move while getting jerked around at EVERY turn.(one way to find out just who really is your friend though) Spirited AWay is what I meant........
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I swear, it's either that or I rack up one HELL of a body count today. I mean, I'm ready to beat (BEAT. THE. PISS.) the piss out of an old person or something....
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They suck the least.
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Did you know their spines sound just twigs when you snap them? Okay, wet squishy twigs butstill....
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Wife and I are thinking of moving there so I went on an exploratory trip last time I was there. Great shops but with lousy or no discounts for weekly buyers. Oh, well. Guess that'll help me ween off weekly books even more, huh?
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...is to give them a threat to Earth to deal with. We can then see how the new factions respond to this threat.
Will there be too much red tape for government sanctioned heroes to do what's necessary.
Will Stark's cronies be too busy mopping up anti-reg heroes to notice the new threat?
Will the fugitives be in any state to step up and save the world?
Will new alliances be formed?
Maybe we'll find out it's all been a Skrull plan to gain control of Earth and exact revenge on Galactus using the only people in the Universe who have been able to stand up to him? -
Strike Devilman lady in Favor of Mobile Fighter G Gundam for TV shows. Insane-O giant robot mayhem (there's a goddamn wrestling ring around the earth for one thing).
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..continues to be Blue Beetle. That is all.
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Let's start off the day right. We need to create a rock-paper-scissors game, only we need the geek version: pirates, zombies, ninjas, robots, puppets, etc.. How does this work? What beats what? Let the debate begin!
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1) Ninjas beat Zombies - they behead them with katana.
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...I know that a few weeks back my Cog friends informed me about Chunnin, or whatever they call 'em, and how they are the ninjas whom everyone from Chuck Norris to Daredevil to Grandma Maverik regularly kicks the shit out of (to be fair to the ninjas, Granny always was a tough old bitch). It was interesting because I never knew that ninjas had ranks, etc. But then I got to thinking, this might be why these ninja organizations are reduced to criminal activity. They lack the Japanese work ethic. Let's say the Kingpin hires your little group to kill Daredevil, or you want to kill off the Ninja turtles. You send these Chunnin losers whose very name sounds like chum, chopped fish to draw out sharks? Even though you know that DD/Raphael/Buzz/Chuck always stomp the crap out of them? That doesn't say much for ninja leadership. I would propose that they send the guys who can get the job done so the fat paycheck can be deposited into numbered Cayman Island accounts and the next superhero/karate cowboy/mutated reptile can be hunted down. There's nothing like good old American know how. Which is why I go with Zombies. There's always going to be more dead guys. They're slow and they're stupid and they love to roam the Earth, but by God, Zombies have follow through.
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I don't mind it but it does seem like it should be read with Meltzer next to you so he can readily answer your questions. I'm down for all the JLA issues, but I almost wasn't going to bother with the JSA tie-in's when I couldn't understand what was happening with bodies appearing while training was going on. The JSA issue I did pick up had great tone and characterisations but on its own served nothing. I'm really hoping this Lightning Saga arc is worth the effort, for all involved. Seemed silly to me to do a tie-in so early in the game of both books.
And I hope no one is bothering with these Death of Captain America issues by Loeb. I think it's Loeb. I just got done with the second one focusing on the Avengers teams and ANGER, and it was just about as pointless as that Civil War: The Return napkin. But I just know I'm going to buy the rest of these. Damn me.
In other news, I am looking forward to all this Hulk stuff ...
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To be fair, Chunin kicked the living shit out of Raphael in TMNT (no, not the new one). It only took like 180 of them. I remember my young world being rocked (like a hurricane) when that happened.
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to not have that song stuck in their head now. HERE I AM... DUH DUH DUH DUH
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(ah good times those.. didja see the new one, btw?)Question is, what beats ninjas? And are we covering all the ground with pirates, zombies, ninjas, robots, and puppets? Do we need aliens in the mix?
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waitasec... It's not ninjas that beat zombies. Puppets beat zombies! They're not human! And they can stitch themselves back together, unlike beheaded zombies.. So ninja puppets behead zombies?
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Cyborg Zombie Cowboy Clown Mutant Punk
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Monkeys and apes are the most retarded things to ever happen to comics. They're not funny and they never will be.
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Rednecks beat Zombies, My Bic lighter beats puppets..Now you know......
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Detective Chimp OWNS your asses (and you know it).
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Where's da love?
Dude, Raph fighting those 180 foot soldiers was awesome. Good times.
HEROES last night knocked my socks off. Wow. Awesome episode. I think I like the future in HEROES more than the present. It was so good.
Against all odds, that new Fantastic Four trailer is the tits. It'd be really cool if that movie didn't suck like the first one. We'll see. -
If there weren't a plot hole big enough to drive a mack truck through. If FutureHiro stabbed Sylar but Sylar regenerated, how in the hell was he able to do that when he HADN'T killed Claire?? Sylar doesn't whack Claire until she shows up in the White House. I call shenanigans Kring!!
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...You know those commercials where that Cubicle-Puke is fed up because he works with a bunch of chimps in JC Penny wear? What is wrong with that guy? That's like a dream job for me! Anything with chimps in clothes, especially if they smoke cigarettes and shit! Every day would be a blast! Casual Friday. Business lunches! Happy Hour. Fece hurling.
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This one time, in band camp....
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Please send me an e-mail with a link to the AB pics. My job's gay-ass websense blocks the site as 'dating/social' and I really wanna see da pics. (*_^)
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Nah, I imagine that that will be explained in due time. It was awesome. Peter Petrelli in the future kicks so much ass, as does Hiro. Three more eps of this and LOST, if only FOX hadn't screwed DRIVE. Crap.
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Wherein Kring said "We intended to do a scene that showed she distracted the haitian to get to Sylar."?? The ep WAS awesome, as long as I didn't try to make any sense of it......
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I think the thing that annoys me most about Heroes is shit like that is so easily 'No-Prize' logic'd right out. I.E.-Sylar survived being stabbed by Hiro not by regenerating but rather telekinetically suturing his wounds until they could heal, or some other ability in conjunction with TK. (TK is how Rachel Summers/Phoenix survived being popped through the heart by Wolverine in X-Men #207) And for someone who has NEVER. READ. A. SINGLE. COMIC., Kring and his head consultant Jeph Loeb sure do crib the fuck out of 'em...
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