When Drew asked me if I wanted to take part in this article discussing the above three movies, I jumped at the opportunity. I mean, why wouldn’t I? I’m obsessed with teen Movies. Pretty much all of them. Even the awful ones get me. I don’t know why. But fuck. They do. When the crazy dance showcase is about to start at the end of STEP UP and Tyler shows up to dance with Nora just in the nick of time... I can’t help but get into it. I know, I know. It’s a sickness. But when there’s a good teen movie, I don’t have to feel ashamed of my love. In fact, I can scream it loud and proud. Which I rarely get to do. That’s because good teen movies, the ones that transcend, are few and far between. But when they hit, the effects are timeless. The maestro of the teen genre is widely considered to be John Hughes. His films have (for the most part) stood the test of time. And there’s a reason for that. He was tapping into a particular honesty. One that was unflinching, let you laugh at yourself, but most importantly was heartfelt in the best of ways. Since Hughes, there have been many many teen movies. Most of them (though near and dear to my heart) are considered bad, but within any genre, there’s always a few good shining examples in each decade. Examples that, as more time passes, are the ones people reference. Off the top of my head there’s CLUELESS, ANGUS, MEAN GIRLS, SHE'S ALL THAT (I know what you’re thinking, but lots of people love this movie), TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU, AMERICAN PIE and maybe a few others. But two years before John Hughes began defining the teen landscape with SIXTEEN CANDLES, there were these three films from 1982. Three films that are, in their own way, just as influential. What you’ll find in each is a definitive sense of time and place, real characters, and most importantly... honesty. FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH Out of the three films, this is the one I’m most obsessed with. Not just because of the movie itself, but because I am a ridiculously huge Cameron Crowe fan. This was the start of Mr. Crowe’s movie career, and like everything Crowe, it comes with a rich backstory. For those that don’t know, FAST TIMES originally started as a non-fiction book Crowe was hired to write. To do it, he decided to go undercover in a high school to find his story. For a year, he lived and breathed the high school world and befriended many of the people who eventually would become his characters. The book was published and genius was born. The plot of FAST TIMES follows a large group of students as they maneuver through one year of high school. It was adapted for the screen by Crowe and directed by Amy Heckerling, who would later direct another decade-defining teen movie in CLUELESS. First things first, I’m 27, so I unfortunately did not get to see it in theaters on its initial release. That said, I remember vividly the first time I did. It's just one of those memories. I was 10 years old and baby-sitting on a Saturday night. The kid was sleeping so I was watching TV in the living room of whoever’s house it was. FAST TIMES was playing on TBS (or something similar) and I wasn’t quite sure what I was watching. I had already seen a ton of teen movies by then... and knew this was one, too... but it felt different somehow. Yeah, it was funny. Yeah, it dealt with sex. Just not at all in the way I’d been used to seeing in the genre. The characters didn’t feel like characters, they felt like people. The sex in it (what wasn’t cut out for TV) was awkward, not romantic, harsh and over quick. Sure, the first time I saw it I didn’t grasp or get everything in the movie. But it stuck with me. Which is what is important. I rewatched it on video a lot as I grew up. And each time I did, something new hit home. Everything about this movie is in the details. It is observational, honest and pretty much everything feels authentic. Simply put, it knows what it feels like to be a teenager. Sure, as the years have gone by things can be considered dated, but because of the honesty of its themes, it will never lose its edge or be relegated to guilty pleasure status. And for those who haven’t read the book, definitely do if you can find it. It’s out of print, but well worth the read. Crowe stuck pretty close to the core of it when adapting the movie, but it’s great to get even more of these characters, which you definitely do in the book. Not to mention a great ending that takes place at Disneyland. Trailer:Thanks, Jeff. This isn’t the last word we’ll have on Bob Clark here on AICN. There’s a very special article about his life and work that I’m hoping to publish very soon. When Jeff calls it the STAR WARS of teen sex comedies, he’s not kidding. It’s still the second-highest-grossing Canadian film of all time, and what amazes me most in looking back at it is just how sweet-natured the film is. It’s raunchy, but there’s not a mean bone in its body. And he’s right about just what a kick in the balls THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN is. That was a cable discovery for me. It was showing one night as a double-feature with HOT DOG: THE MOVIE, and I stayed over at a buddy’s house so we could see both of them. HOT DOG was exactly what we thought it would be... a snobs-vs-slobs comedy with several excuses for Shannon Tweed to drop her kit... but THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN turned out to be a massive bummer, and it really stuck with me. It’s sort of the bridge between FAST TIMES and PORKY’S, and it’s got ideas in common with both of them. We’ll have more of these coming up soon, including my first contribution to the series where I’ll be writing about the single greatest weekend of the summer. In the meantime, you can catch up with the earlier articles in this series here: Nordling Remembers E.T.! Harry Remembers TRON! Obi-Swan Remembers CREEPSHOW! Capone Remembers POLTERGEIST!
LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN I saw LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN for the first time when I was 13. I always passed by it in the video store because it had a lame cover and there was always something I felt was more important to rent. I eventually broke down and rented it because I was on a mission to see everything at this particular store. To this day, it’s still a painful watch. This movie, out of the three, is the one that has aged the worst. It’s goofy, over the top in the best of ways, and sports some pretty ridiculous outfits. That said, it’s probably one of, if not *the*, most honest teen films ever made. While FAST TIMES is honest too, it also had affection for its characters. It had heart. This has heart, too, but the broken kind. The kind that’s not optimistic and the kind that everyone has probably experienced at least once... yet rarely seen on screen. The plot is basically three friends who are obsessed with getting laid. Gary, the lead, becomes infatuated with Karen, the new girl at school (played by Diane Franklin, Cusack’s love interest from BETTER OFF DEAD). Only problem, his best friend Rick also digs her, and more importantly, has the balls to ask her out. Which means Gary is left lurching in the shadows as Rick dates the girl of his dreams. I know, not terribly original. But it’s how writer/director Boaz Davdison deals with it that makes it effective. Basically, we all know that in teen movies, or romantic movies in general, the girl/guy always comes to their senses and chooses the right person. Which doesn’t always happen in real life. Especially during your high school years. You pine over someone, make your move, and sometimes you get accepted, other times you get rejected. It’s the rejection that sticks with you. Helps you mature, teaches you life lessons, prepares you for adulthood. Well, for those who dig rejection, this movie is for you. Gary stumbles through it pining over Karen. Soon Rick sleeps with her and gets her pregnant. Gary, being a nice guy, takes it upon himself to forgo the school ski trip to help her. He pays for the abortion by pawning his stuff and then takes care of her as she heals. As he does, it couldn’t be going better for Gary in his mind. They’re finally forming a real connection and he’s even helping her plan her birthday party. It’s at this party he’s decided to finally tell her how he feels. He even buys her an engraved piece of jewelry to go along with the eventual confession. We’re hyped. Psyched that he’s finally going to get the girl. He drives to the party. Confident. Happy. Goes into her kitchen... ... and finds Karen making out with Rick. Even though he got her pregnant and bailed, she’s forgiven him. And when she notices Gary has walked in on them, she acts knowingly oblivious to his affections. Right then it’s clear to him. She just doesn’t love him. It’s just how it goes. You can’t force someone to love you. He's not going to win. So Gary gets in his car and drives away. The movie ends with a close up of him driving and crying. Not only that, it freezes on this particular image and lets the credits roll over it. Say what you will about the preceding 90 minutes, that ending is a truly honest moment. One that’s rare in American movies, even rarer in teen movies. PRETTY IN PINK somewhat dealt with this same theme years later, with poor Duckie getting shafted, but it was different, not only because Duckie wasn’t the lead, but also because his friendship with Andie was a life long one... and Blaine, who Andie ended up with, wasn’t a total idiot. Most importantly, it looked like Duckie was going to hook up with Kristy Swanson. So it gave you heart ache, but then quickly brushed it aside. Not here. Here you get to revel in it as those credits roll. As I said, this movie isn’t perfect. The humor is the typical gross out sex humor, but the moments that are real, are terribly real. Watch it and see. Thankfully, MGM saved this movie from VHS/Ebay obscurity and re-released it on DVD a few years back. Trailer: Interesting to note how the trailer sells none of the story. It's all sex. Which brings us to... PORKY’S This is a movie that was beaten to death by its sequels. But almost miraculously, it’s because of that, because of the hollowing of the franchise, that you can look back and really see what made this movie work. PORKYS, much like AMERICAN GRAFFITI, was a period movie. But even though it was period, it struck a nerve in its audience. Not just because it was funny, or because of its trailblazing nudity (which I’ll get to), but because it was honest. Written and directed by Bob Clark, PORKY’S revolves around teens attempting to get laid at the legendary whorehouse PORKY’S, and becoming embittered in a feud with the owner and his sheriff brother. Along the way, sexual and comedic hijinx take place. Hijinx that we hadn’t seen on screen before. Lots of nudity. Lots of uncompromising situations. And umm lots of nudity. So much that it birthed an extension of the teen genre... the teen sex comedy. That’s right, in my opinion, the teen sex comedy started right here. PORKY’S was kind of like STAR WARS in that way. Obviously, it wasn’t a technical breakthrough or worldwide wonder, but the nudity and jokes in it were just as influential. After this movie *everyone* thought they could make a sex comedy. And everyone did. And it was done wrong many a time over the years. In fact, I think LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN was made quickly for this exact reason. Thankfully there, they tried something different. Most others didn’t. Over the years there were many variations of the teen sex comedy (including the sequels). Some like REVENGE OF THE NERDS worked, others didn’t. But the reason most didn’t work is they forgot (or didn’t know) what made PORKY’S *work*. Sure, the nudity was a bonus... the talking point... but if it was all about that, then all these rip-offs would have been just as good. In my opinion, what made PORKY’S work was the feeling of true friendship amongst the teens. It was over the top, but it felt real. Further more, it effectively captured a specific time and a place. Bob Clark pulled this off equally well with A CHRISTMAS STORY. Both of those movies, you really felt like you were there. Looking back on a time long since relegated to memory. To me, the whole movie feels like the idealized moments you have of high school. The ones you look back on that make you say, “High School was awesome”. It’s like a greatest hits collection. It has some of the highs, some of the lows, but no matter what, made sure to tap into the memories in the best of ways... while still managing to tap into it honestly. Not only with the sex, but the struggles of friendship, growing up, and also the racial/bigotry that still takes place. Again, if you doubt this movies influence, look back at what came out after. It’s crazy. The teen sex comedy eventually ran its course because studios wanted to make more money with PG-13 films... but it eventually made a worthy comeback with AMERICAN PIE. Trailer: not on YouTube. The teen movie genre isn’t always perfect. In fact, it’s mostly about niche marketing for maximum dollar. These movies make money because that audience wants something to see, something that speaks to them, and while they may *like* the movies, they rarely *stick* with them. They’re forgotten the next week. That can be attributed to many reasons, but the main one being, in my opinion, is that these movies are sugarcoated... suffocated... not honest... and in the end reflect a glossy shell of what they’re going through. But these three movies from 1982, combined with those of Hughes and a few others, stand tall as a pinnacle, not only as what a teen movie can do... but also for anyone who ever wants to remember what high school was like.
April 17, 2007, 5:17 a.m. CST
I'll read it now.
April 17, 2007, 5:18 a.m. CST
April 17, 2007, 6:11 a.m. CST
I remember that LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN ending, and how it wasn't supposed to end like that. At the time, it was fairly devastating, but looking back on those years you understand it more fully. Well done.
April 17, 2007, 7:40 a.m. CST
Yeah, the ending was such a bummer. Probably like many viewers, I WAS that lead character - the shlub who was always nice to the girls, but rarely won their hearts. It was painful to watch, but I can't think of another flick from that era that hit home so accurately.
April 17, 2007, 7:55 a.m. CST
I was working at the local theatre back when Porky's was released onto our unsuspecting sleepy little town. We had many sell outs during it's run and it is still one of the few comedies that can still make me laugh after seeing it as many times as I had. It does tie with "Grease" tho in the category of "least convincing portrayal of a teenager by a 30 yr old". It was also a major policing problem for underage kids trying to sneek in. So much so that when Porky's II was announced, it was met with a mixture of joy and dread. What ever happened to Kaki Hunter???
April 17, 2007, 8:15 a.m. CST
by Nice Marmot
. . . I am 32 years old and to this day still feel just a little bit uncomfortable watching Jennifer Jason Lee's character getting banged in the dugout and the pool house. I still feel like I need to look over my shoulder and make sure Mom isn't going to walk in. That was some crazy shit for me back then. I ended up seeing Porky's so much later in life that I missed out on the appeal and significance. I've never seen American Virgin. Just might go rent it because of this. I LOVE these tributes to '82!
April 17, 2007, 8:16 a.m. CST
by Lou Stools
Couldn't stand the dopey mopey protagonist who just seemed to stand around all the time with his mouth hanging open...but Porky's rocks!
April 17, 2007, 8:26 a.m. CST
Just watched this a few weeks ago. I remember digging the U2 "I will follow" song near the end right before Gary does not GET the Girl. Hell, all three movies rank up there right before John Hughes started to slowly kill us teenagers with all that "I hate my parents/rich kids angst" and stuff. Risky Business is still the Best teen comedy of all time...bar none.
April 17, 2007, 8:43 a.m. CST
by Jabba the Slut
And use all the self-important elitist douchebags that post in here to be in it...you know who you are, right DocStrange?
April 17, 2007, 8:45 a.m. CST
by Jabba the Slut
caught that one
April 17, 2007, 8:51 a.m. CST
the Israeli Eskimo Limon/"Lemon Popsicle" series. (Those might have been Porky's rip-offs, or R rated Grease rip-offs.) Same characters as LAV, same situations, same producer. Golan-Globus sex comedy stuff.
April 17, 2007, 9:49 a.m. CST
...all lost their virginity that summer, together, during that one magical night at the old swimming hole.
April 17, 2007, 9:55 a.m. CST
Jesus, what crap parents!
April 17, 2007, 10:13 a.m. CST
It wasn't 1982, it was 1984. I've been watching this stupid "1982 was the bestest EVER" garbage for some time, and while 1982 was a good year, 1984 was better, and here's why: March 2 - Repo Man March 2 - This is Spinal Tap March 9 - Children of the Corn March 9 - Splash March 16 - Ice Pirates, The March 23 - Police Academy March 30 - Romancing the Stone March 30 - Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes May 4 - Sixteen Candles May 4 - Breakin' May 11 - Firestarter May 11 - Natural, The May 23 - Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom June 1 - Star Trek III: The Search for Spock June 1 - Streets of Fire June 1 - Once Upon a Time in America June 8 - Gremlins June 8 - Ghostbusters June 8 - Beat Street June 22 - Top Secret! June 22 - Karate Kid June 29 - Bachelor Party June 29 - Conan the Destroyer July 9 - The Gods Must Be Crazy July 13 - The Last Starfighter July 13 - The Muppets Take Manhattan July 20 - Neverending Story July 20 - Revenge of the Nerds July 27 - Purple Rain August 10 - Red Dawn August 10 - The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension August 17 - Dreamscape August 31 - C.H.U.D. September 7 - Brother from Another Planet September 14 - Ninja III: The Domination September 19 - Amadeus October 5 - Stranger Than Paradise October 26 - Terminator October 26 - Body Double November 2 - Killing Fields November 9 - Silent Night, Deadly Night November 9 - Nightmare on Elm Street November 9 - No Small Affair November 16 - Missing in Action November 16 - Night of the Comet December 5 - Beverly Hills Cop December 14 - Starman December 14 - Dune December 14 - Nineteen Eighty-Four December 19 - Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo December 21 - Johnny Dangerously December 21 - Birdy Look at that list. LOOK AT IT! Even if some of those movies are crappy, I still win. Shit, March of '84 alone beats all of 1982. And look at that Summer, man. Have you ever seen a Summer full of awesome movies like that? No, you haven't. In terms of best movie year ever? 1984 kicks 1982 ass for Buckaroo Banzai alone.
April 17, 2007, 10:18 a.m. CST
that list was supposed to be one line per movie, not all scrunched together like that. Now I look like a jerk. If I knew how crappy that would have looked, I never would have posted. Sorry about that guys.
April 17, 2007, 10:26 a.m. CST
Even the really cheesy stuff like Tomboy. Awesome '80s music montages and gratuitous tit shots FTW!
April 17, 2007, 10:37 a.m. CST
Yes! I've been trying to remember the name of that flick for a week now. And only now through imdb.com do I piece together that the female lead was the hot piece in Private School.
April 17, 2007, 10:39 a.m. CST
I'm still struck by that film. It effortlessly combined laughs, raunch, and uncomfortable-as-fuck elements into a solid flick. Gotta love the Crowe.
April 17, 2007, 10:57 a.m. CST
by Childe Roland
...over the kitchen discovery scene in Last American Virgin? I want to say it was a Commodores tune, but I think it might've been Quincy Jones. I never figured out hte name of it, but every time I hear it I get that lumpy feeling in the throat thinking about Gary's long, sad drive home.<p>Porky's really was something more than it seemed. The cast was fantastic and the comedy was pure. The noodity was just gravy.<p>Fast Times is iconic, but it hasn't held up as well as Porky's for me. It was almost too hip (or at least seems that way in retrospect). DaMone may still be one of my most frequently quoted film characters of all time, though.
April 17, 2007, 10:57 a.m. CST
Yeah Betsy Russell was smokin' in both those films. Private School was another great '80s teen film, even though you could see the tape covering Phoebe Cates nipples... ;)
April 17, 2007, 11:07 a.m. CST
Is the song that plays on Gary's ride home. It's a crap song that somehow becomes really great when played in that scene.
April 17, 2007, 11:12 a.m. CST
Take away that last scene and I don't think it'd be getting mentioned in the same breath as Fast Times at Ridgemont High some 25 years later. Because up until then, I remember it being more on par with classics like Private Resort.
April 17, 2007, 11:13 a.m. CST
It's not as raunchy as any of the ones mentioned above, but for pure entertainment value, it's mighty tough to beat "The Flamingo Kid".
April 17, 2007, 11:13 a.m. CST
There was no way in hell my parents were letting me go to the movies or drive-in to see a movie like Porky's(I was about 13 at the time). But for reasons I still have never figured out their parental instincts went out the window on our Friday night trip to the video store to get movies for the weekend. I guess depraved teen sex comedies are ok as long as you watch them from a darkened basement with your parents hovering around up stairs.
April 17, 2007, 11:24 a.m. CST
You know, Road Warrior, Conan,Bladerunner...stop teasing us. I love 'Fast times' but it's not a "geek" movie.
April 17, 2007, 11:24 a.m. CST
I've got to agree with OBSD on this. When AICN first started this series on 1982 I was thinking, "Cool, but 1984 was the year!" Good call, OBSD. And yeah, Buckaroo Banzai alone seals its greatness. Need see Buckaroo.
April 17, 2007, 11:27 a.m. CST
I remember watching it on HOBO several times in my youth, but can't remember the name. I have little to give you, but at the end the prude/bitch girl (but VERY hot) is found humping a guy in the front seat of a parked car. From what I looked at on imdb.com, I want to say it was Bikini Summer...but I'm not sure. Any help?
April 17, 2007, 11:31 a.m. CST
Garbageman33, you're right. Anyone who remembers Last American Virgin at all tends to remember it for its ending. Like most people who saw it at the time, I was gut-punched by it. It had the effect of making me think the movie as a whole was far better than it really is. I actually found it in my VHS collection a few years ago and tried to rewatch it. It was nearly unwatchable. I still have some kind of sentimental fondness for it, but it's no Fast Times.
April 17, 2007, 11:41 a.m. CST
Was a senior at Mission Bay HS when Crowe was undercover at Clairemont HS, their crosstown rival. They both were likely hanging out at same beaches, malls, fast food joints.<p> I was in college at the time, but that movie was my life. Although the coolest HS job in San Diego was working at Farrell's Ice Cream Parlor.
April 17, 2007, 11:53 a.m. CST
I have calluses on my hand (and my dick) that I should have named after her.
April 17, 2007, 11:58 a.m. CST
After Ms. Ballbreaker catches them in the bathroom, and they're all in the principal's office, and she's describing her plan to positively identify the suspect by putting some of the guys in a lineup so she can identify the offending "member." She's so serious and the teens are sitting on the couch throwing out their comments, laughing like hell, and the old crusty principal is tyring like hell to maintain composure, but finally loses it after they suggest bringing in a sketch artist...SOOOO CLASSIC. If you've seen it you know my description doesn't do it justice, and if you haven't, by all means rent it and you'll see for yourself...
April 17, 2007, 12:12 p.m. CST
by Smokin Doc Cottle
It's the BBD, people...I watched this flick on VHS with the girl I would loose it to the very night. Love that Bigger & Better Deal!
April 17, 2007, 12:41 p.m. CST
It's a toss up for me between that scene and the one where the coach is up in the locker room with Kim Cattrall and the other coach is still in the gym and trying to stifle his laughter as her barks/moans echo through the school... Wehn he goes to hide behind the banner to cover his laughing... that's it... I lose it... every time. Hahahahaah!
April 17, 2007, 12:42 p.m. CST
I always meant to cuz the lead is the "Yer a dead fuck" friend of Crispin Glover in Friday the 13th- The Final Chapter... Now this article has reminded me to add it to my NETFLIX queue. Cool.
April 17, 2007, 12:43 p.m. CST
Yeah 1984 was a banner year. But we would have never seen any of those films had it not been for the magical year of 1982. Show some respect, young buck!
April 17, 2007, 1:02 p.m. CST
(compliments of IMDB.com): Balbricker: Now, Mr. Carter. I know this is completely unorthodox. But I think this is the only way to find that boy. Now that penis had a mole on it - I'd recognize that penis anywhere. In spite of the juvenile snickers of some, this is a serious matter. That seducer and despoiler must be stopped; he's extremely dangerous. And, Mr. Carter, I'm certain that everyone in this room knows who that is. He's a contemptible little pervert who... Mr. Carter: Miss Balbricker! Balbricker: Well, I'm sorry, but I've got him now, and I'm not going to let him slip through my fingers again. Now, all I'm asking is that you give me five boys for a few minutes. The coaches can be present - Tommy Turner and any four boys you see fit to choose and we... and we... can put a stop to this menace. And it is a menace. [pause] Balbricker: Well, what are you gonna do about it? Mr. Carter: Five young boys in the nude, a police line-up so that you can identify his tallywhacker. Please, please can we call it a "tallywhacker"? Penis is so ppp... penis is so personal. Balbricker: We can put hoods over their heads to avoid embarrassment. Now listen: we have got to do it, as distasteful as it is. I know it's him. That [pause] Balbricker: tallywhacker had a mole on it. And that mole is the key to it. Mr. Carter: Miss Balbricker, do you realize the difficulty of your request? Now, I would be very happy to, uh, to apprehend the young man myself. But can you imagine what the board of education would say if you were granted a line-up in order to examine their private pa... their private parts for an incriminating mole? Balbricker: But Mr. Carter. Coach Brakett: Mr. Carter, I think I have a way out of this. We, uh, call the police, and we have 'em send over one of their sketch artists. And Miss Balbricker can give a description. We can put up "Wanted" posters all over school..."Have you seen this prick? Report immediately to Beulah Balbricker. Do not attempt to apprehend this prick, as it is armed and dangerous. It was last seen hanging out in the girls' locker room at Angel Beach High School."
April 17, 2007, 1:04 p.m. CST
I swear this was about to be my next post before i saw yours above: "Then again...The gym coach porkin Kim Cattrall up in the attic is right up there, too. "WOOOWOOOWOOOWOOOWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!", and the older gym coach hiding behing that pad as he loses his shit...you're right, that one kills me everytime, too...
April 17, 2007, 1:20 p.m. CST
by MC Vamp
They specified GENRE year, not overall quality of year. Pound for pound, '82 is just geekier. And take a look at 1939 sometime if you're going to argue "best years evar."
April 17, 2007, 1:33 p.m. CST
Hey Moriarty, just FYI, the links you included to the articles on Creepshow and Poltergeist are broken.
April 17, 2007, 1:53 p.m. CST
This movie came out when I was nine.<p> My dear, sweet Grandmother liked to go out to movies with her friends. She had heard about a good one called "An Officer and Gentleman" and decided to go with a friend to see it...but her friend couldn't go--so she went alone. Turns out the movie was either sold out, or had just stopped showing at the theatre in Mansfield, Ohio (I cannot remember exactly).<p> Well, she asked the usher if anything else was playing and they said "Porky's". <p> "What's about?" She asked.<p> "It's about teenage boys in the 1950's trying to grow up" the sly usher said.<p> "Well, I'll see that instead", she said.<p> So, my Grandma saw Porky's on a summer night in '82. She stayed through the whole movie.<p> I saw it a year later on late night Cable a year later at a friend's house--and all I remember was wanting Kim Cattrall like nothing else on this planet. God I loved 'Lassie'. AWROOOOO. It was the first time I ever saw a sex comedy and it helped fuel a lifelong appreciation of the female form. Which is a polite way of saying I like Naked Ladies.<p> And what did Grandma think of the film?<p> All she would say was "Oh, those poor boys..."
April 17, 2007, 1:55 p.m. CST
by Harry Weinstein
As a youngster up late watching dirty movies on Cinemax, the end of LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN was absolutely shocking, I literally COULD NOT BELIEVE that was how the movie ended. That was probably my introduction to how powerful cinematic storytelling can be. That ending was absolutely devastating to my young mind, and it changed my perception of what you could and could not do in a movie. Nobody would dare pull an ending like that these days. I fuckin' miss Cannon Films.
April 17, 2007, 2:10 p.m. CST
by Harry Weinstein
...so I ought to add that the rest of LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN isn't nearly as "good" as FAST TIMES, but that's why the ending is so damn effective. You really, really don't see it coming. But, at the same time, even the goofier stuff in that film rings very true to life, or at least my life. Glad someone else pointed out that it's a remake of the Israeli LEMON POPSICLE, by the same director, Boaz Davidson, as well as the same producers. LEMON POPSICLE predated PORKYS, and was apparently heavily autobiographical, based mostly on Boaz Davidson's teenage years.
April 17, 2007, 2:37 p.m. CST
by Harry Weinstein
LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN/LEMON POPSICLE were recently loosely remade (or possibly just heavily homaged) in South Korea, as SEX IS ZERO. SEX IS ZERO starts off well, with some quite graphic sex for the genre and comedy that's almost psychotic in its vulgarity (fried cum and rat poison sandwich anyone?), but flies off the rails completely around the time of the painfully overlong aerobics championship, which is just as bad as it sounds.
April 17, 2007, 2:41 p.m. CST
Caught it on TV the other day, and there ain't a lot of joy in that movie. Any such moment is quickly overshadowed by more frequent moments that just make you feel uneasy, unpleasant. Personally, I think the American Pie movies (as a whole) actually work better. They have their share of angst, but they don't over-do it.
April 17, 2007, 2:44 p.m. CST
"I'm like King Midas, everything I touch turns to poontang!" Where my PA dawgs at?
April 17, 2007, 2:47 p.m. CST
I totally agree...the ending of LAV fucked my fragile 10 y.o. brain up.
April 17, 2007, 2:53 p.m. CST
"Just Once" by Quincy Jones - with James Ingram on lead vocals. The impregnation scene was to a Commodores record: "Oh No".
April 17, 2007, 3:38 p.m. CST
Roughly 23 years before he went on a tirade against Chris Rock for making fun of "one of our finest young actors" Jude Law. I find it amusing that the film that led him to so violently defend Mr. Nanny was "All the King's Men". Someone should lock that douchebag in a room with only a VCR and a VHS tape of Fast Times and not let him out until he at least cracks a smile.
April 17, 2007, 3:52 p.m. CST
All three movies were gold. I told a girl I liked at school about LAV she rented it then next day at school, "That is soooo you." gee thanks! But I never heard of it mentioned being on par with Porkeys or FTARH.
April 17, 2007, 4:20 p.m. CST
When he was on that Bam show and Vito said "Spicolli, he can handle it." Penn seemed to get a kick out of it. There's still hope in his blood-stained underwear!
April 17, 2007, 4:40 p.m. CST
The only one of these three that's really stuck with me over the years is Fast Times, but I remember watching all three of them. Specifically, LAV. When I was probably 14 or so, one of the local TV stations (or maybe it was TBS) ran a 3 Stooges marathon. I had all my friends come over and to eat pizza, Doritos and soda and watch 8 or 10 hours of 3 Stooges. Around 10 or 11, we switched over to PBS to watch Monty Python, but then I wanted to go back to the Stooges, but all my friends wanted to see if there was anything on HBO with nudity, so we ended up watching Last American Virgin and The Happy Hooker. This irritated me a little. I mean, it was late in the night, and we were into the Joe Besser period, and most of the gags seemed to be recycled, but I thought it would be really cool to be able to say we'd watched every 3 Stooges short ever made. It's one thing to switch over for Monty Python, which I considered to be one of the two great pillars of comedy along with the Stooges, but I wasn't really interested in LAV. But it was pretty good. I didn't see any of these in the theater, although I did catch Porky's 2. I have to say, reading through these, I'm pretty impressed with Moriarty's tenacity. I think I'm 2 years older than Mori, but he saw so many of these R-rated movies that I had to wait on HBO for. Is that Creepshow essay just gone? I can't access it at all.
April 17, 2007, 4:57 p.m. CST
My first Porky's memory was seeing the trailer for it playing before a re-release of fucking BAMBI. I was like 7 at the time and I STILL remember that trailer. "This is Porky's... We can't show you what's inside...blahblahblah". Who puts a Porky's trailer on BAMBI?!?!?
April 17, 2007, 5 p.m. CST
Think about all the actors that came out of those two movies. And truly kind of a West Coast vs East Coast type of acting styles.
April 17, 2007, 5:04 p.m. CST
Last American Virgin was a remake of the directors own Israeli film Lemon Popsicle, which for the record was better. It was part of a series of films recounting the sexual adventures of the original's three leads Benji, Bobbi, and Huey (the fat one). A bizarre mix of Benny Hill, soft core porn, and Say Anything.
April 17, 2007, 5:07 p.m. CST
by drew mcweeny
... turns out both of those were destroyed when the server went down, too. Damn shame. There were some great, lively talkbacks under both. <P>The articles were just reposted, though, and are now accessible from the links above again.
April 17, 2007, 5:29 p.m. CST
by drew mcweeny
Nah. There's almost no nudity in ANIMAL HOUSE, it's set in college, not in a teen setting, and if there was any subgenre of comedy that ANIMAL HOUSE kicked off, it was the "snobs vs. the slobs" run of the '80s. Similar, but not the same. I think Flmlvr's right that PORKY'S kicked off a run of films that were thinly-veiled excuses for gross out comedy and bare boobs.
April 17, 2007, 5:38 p.m. CST
Can someone get a time machine and bring me Deborah Foreman from... say... 1985? Preferably wearing some Madonna's "Boy Toy" era-ish garb. With a case of Pabst too, if that isn't too much to ask. Thanks. Mmmmmm Deborah Foreman.
April 17, 2007, 5:42 p.m. CST
by Homer Sexual
I graduated in 82, so I may be biased, but it was totally the best year ever for genre flicks (sorry, 84)and none better than Last American Virgin. That movie crushed me back then. Bought the DVD last year, same reaction! And my 20-something friends LOVE it! Nothing today has much truth in it, much less the bitter reality, which so many of us have experienced, shown in LAV. <p> Trivia note: Gary's sleazy friend Rick was played by Steve Antin, who currently produces "Search for Next Pussycat Doll." PCD was created by his wife, Robin Antin. And who recently guested on that show? Weepy Hairstylist Jonathan Antin, who must be Steve's brother?
April 17, 2007, 6:02 p.m. CST
Now all this "LAV" talk is gonna make me buy the damn thing on DVD. Like most of us mid-30 something folks, I discovered this movie on HBO/Cinemax/Showtime in the wee small hours of the morning round about Spring Break 1983 (the best part about being on Spring Break when you're in elementary school? NO BEDTIME. All the TV you want all night long!). I was particularly fond of the scene where the hot Latina chick serves up the prick and the fat guy before her husband comes home. Like most of y'all have proclaimed, the ending was indeed a sad one - not to mention a sneak preview of coming attractions in my teenage years. I had 2 (count 'em) 2 Gary-esque experiences in high school. Just thinking about them is pissing me off. Must. Stop. Typing!!!
April 17, 2007, 6:29 p.m. CST
by Charles Grady
How about SCREWBALLS? So bare-bones and Canadian and sleazy, from the surreal bit with the hot-dog boner on the diving board, to the dick-caught-in-a-bowling ball scene, to the fat kid (named Jerkovsky no less) getting caught whacking in the meat locker. PURITY BUSH! What a masterpiece. And, oh, isn't 1983 pretty much the best movie year ever? (SCARFACE, ROTJ, THE KEEP, CHRISTINE, DEAD ZONE, MAN WHO WASN'T THERE, SUDDEN IMPACT, SPACEHUNTER, YOR, REVENGE OF THE NINJA, CUJO, TWILIGHT ZONE, TRADING PLACES, METALSTORM, CLASS, SCREWBALLS, STAR CHAMBER, VACATION, RIGHT STUFF, UNCOMMON VALOR, DC CAB, STAR 80, RUMBLE FISH, OUTSIDERS, OSTERMAN WEEKEND, LORDS OF DISCIPLINE, NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN, OCTOPUSSY, THE FINAL OPTION, MORTUARY, NIGHTMARES, SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT 3, JAWS 3-D, KRUUUUUUUUUUUUUULL, RISKY BUSINESS, STAYING ALIVE, WARGAMES, PSYCHO 2, BLUE THUNDER, LOSIN' IT, roughly 100 more.... THAT KICKS 84'S ASS, if not 82.) BUDDY REPPERTON 4 EVA!!!!!
April 17, 2007, 6:30 p.m. CST
by Charles Grady
AND I'LL KNOCK YOU THROUGH THE WALL.... FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!" OSTRANDER is a GOD.
April 17, 2007, 6:37 p.m. CST
by Buzz Maverik
I'm just a little younger than the youngest characters (and their real life antecedents)which would have been Stacey and Spicoli, and a lifelong Southern Californian. Granted, some of the stuff was what the cool kids were doing and I wasn't, but I can relate to the Rat and Spicoli in unequal parts. To me, the sex comedies always had high school guys acting like college guys, a little raunchier and a little coarser. In high school, you haven't yet abandoned your standards, ya know.
April 17, 2007, 6:41 p.m. CST
Sean Penn, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Phoebe Cates, Nicolas Cage, Anthony Edwards, Eric Stoltz, Forest Whitaker, Taylor Negron, Judge Reinhold...All in a teen sex romp! Granted, some are bigger than others, but all were at some point or another pretty damn big. (Ray Walston, too, but he was already known by then). And dind't Ratner go on to be a moderately successful director?
April 17, 2007, 6:56 p.m. CST
by Ultron ver 2.0
"Come climb the mountains bambino!" Pointing to her huge tits.
April 17, 2007, 7:29 p.m. CST
...I love this series.
April 17, 2007, 8:08 p.m. CST
FTARH was one of my favorites of the year. I love these talkbacks on 1982. Brings back so many fun memories.<p>Also, 1984 was a great year for movies also. There is plenty of love to be shared by both these years.
April 17, 2007, 8:22 p.m. CST
by Charles Grady
That's from 1982. Someone do a piece on that. MARK BLANKFIELD RULED!!!! His Hyde transformation scenes were the hit of the 1983 playground movie discussions, lemme tell you. HYDE'S GOT NOTHIN TO HIIIIIIDE!
April 17, 2007, 9:15 p.m. CST
Not a genre movie. But a total classic in my mind. Smart, funny, heartbreaking... and dirty too. "Micheal Milton? Sounds like a flavor at a gay ice cream parlor..."
April 17, 2007, 10:08 p.m. CST
Is it me, or does no amount of slapstick humor or hip music wash off the thought of someone giving a girl money for an abortion, that wasn't even his, let alone the black-as-hell ending? Two to one that poor guy ended up eating a bullet when he drove home.
April 17, 2007, 10:08 p.m. CST
by Sledge Hammer
...and for some reason that I've never been able to fathom people seem to think there's a hell of a lot more nudity in this film than there actually is, in fact there's not all that much real nudity at all. I mean there's what? The famous peephole shower scene, the bit where the guys lineup at the house, and the guy running bareass naked down the road at night immediately following. And from my memory that's pretty much it, apart from a little background topless action in the bar.
April 17, 2007, 10:10 p.m. CST
April 17, 2007, 11:47 p.m. CST
by Buzz Maverik
...was that although some of the characters were sexually active, it was like the real people I knew in high school who actually got to have sex (as opposed to guys like the Rat, Spicoli and myself). Stacy's experiences were degrading; Damone's was humiliating; and Brad got caught whacking. Pretty real. Guys in college are more likely to chase hookers and easy lays. FAST TIMES got things like living at the mall and working in a fast food place right. Crowe is a big optimist, so aside from, say, Charles Jefferson, we didn't see any of the malevolent sides of high school life. I mean, Spicoli and his crew were the nice, fun loving stoners, and there were guys like that. It was a very inferior movie, but THE STONED AGE with it's Guzzlers nailed some of the darker side of those kind of guys.
April 18, 2007, 12:25 a.m. CST
by Sir Loin
I came home from practice one night in high school and caught my parents watching Porky's II, and that was the scene...they were in hysterics laughing so hard, plus I was glad I saw it as well. "Remember what happened the last time we drove down this road...?" hahahah
April 18, 2007, 12:32 a.m. CST
by Horace Cox
Isn't this supposed to be a 25th anniversary type remembrance? Either way, 80's films fucking rule as does 80's music.
April 18, 2007, 4:34 a.m. CST
by Lost Prophet
The 80's were great for films. But the vast majority of the music blew. Heavily. Stock Aitkin & Waterman should be tarred and feathered.
April 18, 2007, 10:57 a.m. CST
If you were of drinking age. Ska, reggae, punk, new wave, Springsteen. Finally there was music white guys could dance to, since it was mostly jumping up and down. And dance we did, every weekend. We didn't go to "clubs" we went to bars, parties and concerts.<p> The English Beat, $10, The Busboys, $5, The Ventures, $10, Springsteen, $25, Oingo Boingo AND the Police, $20. Bars with live bands, not DJ's. Parties with lovingly recorded cassettes of favorites, allowing for uninterrupted dancing an hour at a time. Man it was great.<p> Then came MC Hammer, and once again white guys were regulated to the sidelines.
April 18, 2007, 12:12 p.m. CST
by R James
The editing's pretty lousy and the guys all look 30 which is pretty funny when you consider some of them are worried about losing their virginity. A lousy movie forgiven its faults due to nostalgia and its relative novelty at the time.
April 18, 2007, 12:14 p.m. CST
As is Lost Prophet/ Certain 80's music absolutely ruled, but most of what was good is not the shit you hear on the "all 80's weekend" radio shows and whatnot...Idahomer, i'm with you on all those bands, love me some English Beat, and i lived on Oingo Boingo. One of my great (musical) disappointments of the 80's was never going to a Boingo Halloween Show at Irvine Meadows (dammit!). The soundtrack of my life during the 80's also included, at various times, the following (aside from those already noted): U2, Eurythmics, Midnight Oil, Beastie Boys (I saw Beastie's open up for Run DMC at Pacific Amphitheater, talk about SWEET), Talking Heads, Los Lobos, Guns N Roses (saw them with Skid Row at the Forum, loudest concert EVER), Van Halen (even with Hagar they kicked ass, don't deny it, saw them with Alice in Chains), Living Color, Black Crowes (those were both late 80s, but still), De La Soul, Prince (& the Revolution), AC/DC, Peter Gabriel, Genesis, Rush, Paul Simon (yes, he made his bones earlier, but GRACELAND is a MASTERPIECE), Bon Jovi (yes, bon jovi)...i'm sure there's others i'm not remembering...
April 18, 2007, 12:26 p.m. CST
April 18, 2007, 1:36 p.m. CST
the movies which inspired all of the hate, Return of the Jedi and Superman III. Sigh. Comic book movies and G. Lucas have not sucked the same since. <br> Yet I still hope 2007 will be the worst summer ever.
April 18, 2007, 1:45 p.m. CST
How about Style Council, Roxy Music, The Cure, Romeo Void, Peter Tosh, The Clash, X, Chili Peppers (saw them at Irvine Meadows when they were still wearing socks). And the fun ones, The GO-GOs, Romantics, B-52s, ABC, Michael Jackson (yes he was good for a time), The Beat Farmers, REM, Social Distortion. We called it "tennis-shoe music," cuz both guys and gals wore them dancing, since you were doing a lot of it.<p> This was also the beginning of MTV, when it simply was music videos. We could sit for hours watching it.
April 18, 2007, 4:35 p.m. CST
I was gonna mention Michael Jackson, too, but i didn't listen to him incessantly like some other groups. But EVERYBODY had a copy of thriller, if not two, floating around in there house, and he was everywhere...I listened to all the bands you just mentioned back in the day on KROQ when it really was alternative radio (Poorman & Richard Blade in the morning, hah!), but i wasn't fanatical about any of them. on a tangential note, before Weird Science and Back to School, did anyone outside (southern) california know who Oingo Boingo was? Man, lotta concerts at Irvine Meadows, we used to sneak in the back to the grass area...nice!
April 18, 2007, 5:26 p.m. CST
since I'm dating myself, has to be 1971. Over 200 films! http://tinyurl.com/ypeuqc<p> Andromeda Strain,The Adbominable Dr. Phibes, Bannanas, The Beguiled, Billy Jack, Brian's Song, Carnal Knowledge,Clockwork Orange, Cold Turkey, Diamonds are Forever, Dirty Harry, Duel, Fiddler on the Roof, French Connection, Friends, Get Carter, The Gang that Couldn't Shoot Straight, Harold and Maude, Hellstrom Cronicles, The Hospital, Happy Birthday Wanda June, Klute, Kotch, Last Picture Show, Let's Scare Jessica to Death, Little Murders, Lady Frankenstein, Macbeth, McCabe & Mrs. Miller, Murphy's War, A New Leaf, Omega Man, Panic in Needle Park, Play Misty for Me, Plaza Suite, Pretty Maids All in a Row, Rickshawkaran, Shaft, Skin Game, Straw Dogs, Summer of 42, Sunday Bloody Sunday, THX 1138, They Might Be Giants, Vanishing Point, Vampyros Lesbos, Willard, Willy Wonka, Women in Cages.<p> Now THAT was a year for film.<p> Somerichs, yeah a lot of early 80s was restricted to SoCal, I think. I was in San Diego and best friend lived in Newport Beach. Remember KROQ well and it was so cool when we got 91X down here.
April 18, 2007, 5:46 p.m. CST
all over the radio...always has, always will. Ditto for SD radio over LA radio...
April 18, 2007, 8:19 p.m. CST
... reminiscing about 1982 with someone who was 2 years old at the time, lol. weak article. i seen Fast Times in the theater.. must have been 11 or so when it was out. i recall leaving the movie and asking: "who is Led Zeppelin?"... it was a defining moment for me! plus, Jennifer Jason Leigh! she was the hottest thing, the epitome of the high school crush tainted by some dork who seemed cooler at the time.
April 19, 2007, 1:41 a.m. CST
by Horace Cox
Hey bro, I agree there was a lot of shitty music in the 80's. But 80's music will always kick ass for one simple reason: music videos! Even the absolute WORST music of the 80's is still entertaining because the videos were so God-awful. You gotta love the pure cheesiness of some of that crap. The clothes, the hair, the crappy special effects, the posers... the 80's had it all baby! Hell, even some of the best bands had the worst videos imaginable. I imagine most of those guys look back now and ask themselves: "What the holy fuck was I thinking?!?" Oh well, I'm sure they were getting laid left and right. Even the guys from Dream Academy probably saw more ass than a Turkish customs inspector.
Feb. 7, 2009, 6:17 p.m. CST
by The Amazing G
Feb. 9, 2009, 8:43 a.m. CST
Oct. 3, 2009, 11:39 p.m. CST
by The Amazing G
Oct. 3, 2009, 11:43 p.m. CST
by The Amazing G
God talk about a late reply, Moriarty's not even part of this site anymore, but reply I must, anyway I just want to say that saying "There's almost no nudity in ANIMAL HOUSE" isn't quite right, the scene where Belushi spies on the sorority girls is pretty legendary and contains plenty of topless sorority girl's pillow fighting (and Mandy Pepperidge's tits of course)