Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here.

I am profoundly weirded out by this. I love U2. I’m intrigued by Julie Taymor. And SPIDER-MAN’s pretty much a given in my household.

But this is just sounding wackadoo to an alarming degree.

We had about six people send us this all at once, so I assume it just went live on PLAYBILL’s website. Here’s my favorite passage from the casting breakdowns:

The character breakdowns provide some insight to plot points as the character Arachne ("female, 20-35 years old, any ethnicity") is described as "a beautiful, boastful young woman turned into a spider for her hubris and lack of respect for the gods. She subsequently appears to Peter Parker and the audience as in turn a powerful spider-woman who comes from another time to inspire Peter; an otherworldly lover; a bride; a terrifying (and sexy) dark goddess of vengeance; a dance partner in a charged and violent spiders dance of death; and, finally, a lonely, fragile young woman." Casting is seeking a "strong Celtic, Balkan style, e.g., Sinead O'Connor," noting, "outside the box ideas are welcomed. Could be someone from the music industry."

Ummmm... yeah. Right.

Anybody know what she’s talking about?

Drew McWeeny, Los Angeles