I am – Hercules!! It’s a SciFi actioner, from writer-producer Gil Grant (“NCIS,” “24”), about a Wolverine-esque DEA agent hindered by the absence of adamantium claws. It’s based on the comic book series by Jimmy Palmiotti and Joe Quesada, which also served as the basis of a 2005 TV-movie starring gorgeous Emmanuelle Vaugier (“Saw II”) as “Jane Browning.” The series’ “Jane Vasko,” played by absurdly attractive former model Kristanna Loken (who also played the evil robot in “Terminator 3”) has a different set of superpowers. Variety says:

… mired in stiff dialogue, clunky voiceover narration, uneven performances and indifferently staged action sequences; even the central premise about a woman who can immediately heal has been overshadowed by the similarly endowed cheerleader on "Heroes" on sister net NBC. As if seeking to obscure its narrative shortcomings, "Jane" frequently employs herky-jerky slow-motion set to a heavily synthesized score, making aspirin a must for consumers of this "Painkiller." …

The Hollywood Reporter says:

… the opening script by exec producer Gil Grant packs in the cliches and dumbspeak, and director Nick Copus seems to have told his performers to make like anal-retentive statues in their stance and delivery. Loken, for her part, has the Amazon woman look down but proves less than convincing as an action icon, evoking more incredulity than confidence. We'll see if her show is as immortal as she is. I'm guessing no. …

Entertainment Weekly says:

… creaky, cliché-strewn, and pretty cheap-looking …

TV Guide gives it a 3 (out of 10) and calls it a:

… colorless angstfest …

The New York Times says:

… The name ends up being the best thing about the show. … the stories are flat, and the repartee between Jane and her teammates isn’t zippy enough to amuse even the comic-book crowd. …

The Los Angeles Times says:

… "Painkiller Jane" is a persuasive argument for never taking the Sci Fi Channel seriously again. … The show is long on concept and short on execution which would actually be OK if the writing and acting were not so simply terrible. …

The Chicago Tribune says:

… a textbook example of action-adventure escapism done with clumsy superficiality. … every character is so underwritten there’s very little for the actors to grab onto. … She may be able to take any amount of abuse, but I have my limits. This pallid, unwatchable series is dead on arrival.

The Seattle Post-Intelligencer says:

… "Painkiller Jane's" writers, headed by show runner Gil Grant (formerly of "NCIS") don't give Loken or her castmates enough meaty dialogue or challenging situations to work with. … the second episode, which involves the walking dead and provides little in the way of action, does not represent an improvement. …

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette says:

… doesn't soar to the dramatic heights of "Battlestar," but it is a step above some of the network's other programs, a procedural thriller with a sense of humor and stylish action scenes. …

The Kansas City Star says:

… The effects-laden pilot of “Painkiller Jane” is certainly watchable. … don’t be surprised if you find yourself spotting bits of TV shows that have come along in the 12 years it took to bring “Painkiller Jane” to TV. Not only will you see “Heroes” in it, but “The 4400” and even “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” though without the irony.

The Orlando Sentinel says:

… pulls off a few memorable visuals: a nighttime skyline, hallucinations and a nightmarish plunge from a high place. That originality is offset by tiresome violence, frequently presented in slow-mo. …

10 p.m. Friday. SciFi.

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