Hey everyone. Capone in Chicago here. You know, every so often I take stock at what's going on in the world at large, and ask myself, "What's missing in this big ol' world right at this moment that would just make everything seem a little more alright?" And today an answer came back to me: "Another GRINDHOUSE review."

If you care even an iota about the two films that make up the experience known as GRINDHOUSE, then you know you're in for a long day or night at the movies and one that both delivers on every expectation you might have, while never missing an opportunity to throw in a few surprises along the way. Writers-directors-conceivers Robert Rodriguez (SIN CITY) and Quentin Tarantino (KILL BILL) have pulled together the complete GRINDHOUSE experience in their three-hour-plus package. You get trailers (albeit for fake exploitation films, directed by the likes of Rob Zombie, Edgar Wright, Eli Roth, and one by Rodriguez), ancient warnings about the explicit nature of the material, vintage-looking opening credits and music, missing reels (both films feature "missing" footage that might have been really helpful in getting from point A to point B in the story, but that's the fun), and damaged film stock.

But there are other, more subtle elements at work here. The fact that many of the same actors appear in both films or in the trailers (sometimes playing the same characters), an acknowledgment that some great character actors used to be in a lot of these ultra-low-budget, limited-run gems. And both offerings have much more dialog than I thought they might, again in an effort to remind us that the non-existent money available for elaborate special effects throughout the film made these filmmakers of the '60s and '70s fill their movie with loads of exposition and saved the money shots for the last 20 minutes.
Rodriguez's sci-fi/horror offering PLANET TERROR is the roller coaster ride loaded with squishy zombie-like creatures, bullets and limbs flying in every direction, and explosions coming out of your ass (not literally, but if that did happen here, it wouldn't have surprised me). In two star-making turns, Rose McGowan and Freddy Rodriguez star as a couple who find themselves mixed up in a military-spawned plague that it taking over their down and infecting all residents into flesh-eating zombie-like creatures. The lasting image from this film is go-go dancer McGowan losing her leg and Rodriguez equipping her with a machine gun in its place.

A secondary plot involves married doctors (Josh Brolin and Marley Shelton). She is planning on leaving her abusive husband with her young son and setting up a new life with her lesbian lover. But when the zombie infestation overruns the hospital where the couple work, plans change. PLANET TERROR is loaded with a great supporting cast, including an uncredited Bruce Willis, Naveen Andrews ("Lost"), Jeff Fahey, Michael Biehn (TERMINATOR), horror makeup legend Tom Savini, Michael Parks, and even a decent, sexy turn by Black Eyed Pea Stacy Ferguson. And while both films want to call to mind the films of old, they are both clearly set in the present, with characters calling each other on cell phones or text messaging.

Copious amounts of blood and guts flesh out the film nicely, allowing Rodriguez to dazzle us with great effects work, stunts, and even a sweet love story and tale of sacrifice. The film's coda is laughable but totally appropriate, and I wouldn't change a thing about it.

While Rodriguez's film is about good messy fun, Tarantino's DEATH PROOF is an entirely different monster altogether. This is a film about sheer, blinding aggression. It is speed and rage and revenge in their purest form. It's also two stories in one. The first is about a group of Austin, Texas girls (Jordan Ladd, Vanessa Ferlito, and Sydney Tamiia Poitier, who naturally is billed simply as "Sidney Poitier") who drive around town looking for hot guys to hang with and possibly have sex. They spend a lot of time talking about nonsense and wearing very little clothes. They come across a guy who calls himself Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell), or more precisely, he tracks them to a local Chili Bar. Also featured in this film is McGowan again, this time in a platinum blonde wig, as a slightly drunk woman who needs a ride home. Stuntman Mike just happens to have a bitchin' car, fortified to withstand just about any accident, as any stunt car would be. But Mike's car is also an instrument of death, with which he gets into horrible accidents that he can walk away from but his passenger cannot. The first half of the film is mostly talk, either between the girls or between Mike and various women. The conversations are light, funny, peppered with not-so-veiled sex talk, and pure Tarantino.

Then the film cuts to a new set of women, all working on a movie shooting in town. The girls include two stuntwomen (Tracie Thoms and Uma Thurman's KILL BILL stunt double Zoe Bell), an actress in the film (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) and crewmember Rosario Dawson. Bell (playing herself here) wants very much to drive a specific Detroit muscle car on what is said to be her first trip to America, but once she finds out that a local man is selling one (she just wants to test drive it, not buy), he and Thoms decide to have a little fun. While on their test drive, Bell climbs onto the hood of the vehicle, which is going at top speed. This section of the film goes on for so long that you begin to wonder how it ties into the beginning of the film, and then along comes Stuntman Mike. What ensues is one of the greatest car chases I have ever seen, not just because of the inherent danger in driving this fast, but because during the entire chase, Bell is clinging to the hood.

And as satisfying as the chase is, what happens after the initial chase is even more spectacular. In terms of sheer blood spilt, PLANET TERROR wins hands down, but DEATH PROOF builds up and fleshes out its characters to the point where we actually care about them. I have adored the hell out of Zoe Bell since I saw a documentary a couple years back called DOUBLE DARE, part of which profiled her move from doubling "Xena's" Lucy Lawless on that show to coming to the U.S. for the first time and getting the KILL BILL work almost immediately. Her performance here is very natural and sweet, even when her mouth is spewing all manner of four-letter words. And, yes, it makes a huge difference knowing that it's actually her on the hood of that car. There's no possible way to fake it. The car chase makes you forget to breathe, and it's the main reason I'll go see this movie again when it opens.

I hope these two gifted and immensely fun filmmakers attempt something like this again in their careers. These aren't parodies or copies, per se; they are more updated tributes to a style of filmmaking that has largely disappeared. So often, the posters or trailers for films like these were so much better than the actual films, and make no mistake, most grindhouse films are junk. But PLANET TERROR and DEATH PROOF take this potential for greatness and make it happen. It's an endurance test at times, but one that is well worth the aching bladder.

Capone