Cool News
A Quick Report From The Premiere Of Stone Cold Steve Austin’s THE CONDEMNED!!
Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here.
I struggled for a few days to write a SHOOTER review, and I just couldn’t do it. I thought the film was terrible, but worse than that, it was just boring. When I go see a dumb action movie, I want it to be dumb, and I want some damn action.
So will the latest film from the WWE fit that criteria? Here’s a quick summary from the film’s recent premiere:
Harry, I love your site, keep up the awesome work. Anyways, I wanted to tell you that my roomate and I got tickets to go see the WWE world premiere of The Comdemned staring Stone Cold Steve Austin. We're here because were going to Wrestlemania, and WWE gave us free tickets. We saw it at Fox Theater in Detroit, MI. It was a giant opera house converted for the movie. Over 5000 people came and saw this movie.
Ive seen The Marine, and See No Evil, and those were OK WWE movies, but The Condemned was by far better than either of those.
This movie is kinda of a mix of Battle Royale, and The Running Man. It was really violent. The movie doesn't show any nudity, but 2 women do get attempted to get raped. Definetly a rated R movie.
The story is pretty basic. 10 prisoners are hand picked to be part of a TV show on a deserted WW2 island. On the show they have to kill each other and the last one to remain alive after 30 hours gets to leave a free man. What they dont tell you about the movie is that all the prisoners are given electronic ankle bracelets wired with plastic explosive, and tampering with them, or pulling a red tab on the bracelets will make them explode.
The big names I recognized were Steve Austin, Vinnie Jones (who plays the most psychotic rapist/killer I think Ive ever seen), and Rick Hoffman (who I only remember seeing in Hostel, he was the businessman who paid to kill people near the end of the movie). Steve Austin got some pretty good one liners, and most of the supporting cast die in pretty interesting ways.
As soon as the credits rolled, Steve Austin came out, thanked everyone, especially thanked his fans. Then he had some beers tossed to him, chugged them down, and drowned the croud up front with a beer shower. It was a great time. The movie was awesome, and really violent.
-
+ Expand All
-
...cool!
-
but Kurt Russell...
-
The island is in some kind of time warp where WW2 never ended? This is a period film set during WW2, and then they go to an island? Seriously, wtf? I hope Vern reviews this movie.
-
Really flat looking action. Kinda like Thunder in Paradise with some shaky-cam.
-
cause thats what i look for in my WWE films. attempted rape. grrrrrreeeeaat.
-
But I looked over and Kurt Russell was laughing pretty hard, so I guess it was okay.
-
WHAT?? WHAT?? WHAT??
-
Apr 02, 2007 10:23:25 AM CDT
"The Comdemned" "2 Women Get Attempted to Get Raped"
by read and shut up
...did you knock back a few gallons of 'tard juice before you wrote this, Einstein? Or did Macho Man Randy Savage pile-drive you into the rug screaming "Ooooh yeah?"
-
Shooter was awesome. Maybe i'm biased(i've proudly served in Afghanistan and Iraq) because he (Wahlberg) protrayed millitary in a positive light and thats a rare occassion in this day and age. As far as Steve Austin and The Condemed, I hope it does bang up numbers at the box office.I'm a life long wrestling fan,even more so when Austin and Mick Foley came over around Christmas time to visit the troops,sign autographs,and treat us better than any other celebrity/athlete that has ever visited in my time. Wrestlers get a bad rap but it's been my experiance that most of them are great guys and girls and seriously multitalented ( Austin and Rock's acting ability Foleys multiple NY Times best sellers,JBL's success on the stock market ect) and more than friendly and respectful to the fans. Looking forward to watching this one.
-
I call plant, whoever wrote it is obviously himself a dumbshit wrestler.
-
Cuz that's what I look for in my dumb action movies.
-
I hearded a WWE fan tried to rite a review of it two!
-
Apr 02, 2007 1:21:27 PM CDT
I predict "Transformers attempt to get raped by Bay"...
by jackpumpkinhead
...wil become a new fad. Cuz Talk Back said so! (And I only know this line because it was on Dilbert.)
-
"...and was knocked out when the cans hit him on the forehead." That would've been something worth seeing! The film, apparently, isn't.
-
Can that be a new catchphrase?Would Kurt Russell think it's funny?Hmmm...
-
Steve Austin fake beats up wrestlers on TV, but in real life, he really beats up women. Austin = wifebeater.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/mugshots/stonecoldmug1.html
-
I don't get the whole 'Kurt Russell looking over...' can someone explain. And Liljuniorbrown, Semper Fi Brother!
-
I just looked over and Kurt Russell isn't fucking laughing.
-
during a grindhouse viewing, one guy used Russell's approving laughter as a moral barometer for his judgement of the appropriateness of Roth's Thanksgiving trailer, which features a turkey with a sewed on human head attempted to get raped by a slasher dressed up as a pilgrim.
Readers Talkback
User Login
Top Talkbacks
- Whitney Houston 1963 - 2012 -- 383 total posts 380 posts
- New JUDGE DREDD post production footage pops up -- 111 total posts 111 posts
- WTF HOLLYWOOD: SOLARBABIES -- 75 total posts 73 posts
- HANNA's Saoirse Ronan to boss around seven little people -- 71 total posts 68 posts
- Does ‘SNL’ Rhyme With ‘Deschanel’?? Learn Which SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE Vet Hosts After Sexy Zooey!! -- 77 total posts 55 posts
- If the Behind the Scenes Pics of the Day drops her pen, pick it up, but don’t look at her legs or else it will be on your record. -- 54 total posts 48 posts
- There's a STAR TREK video game that is going to lead into JJ's STAR TREK 2 apparently... -- 165 total posts 41 posts
- Herc’s Seen Tonight’s Return Of THE WALKING DEAD!! Discuss Also DOWNTON ABBEY, FEAR FACTOR, PAN AM, ONCE, SIMPSONS, DYNAMITE, LUCK, SHAMELESS, BAIT CAR, THE GRAMMYS And More!! Sunday Is Sweeps Day 11!! -- 41 total posts 41 posts
- To Commemorate The 3D Release Of STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE, George Lucas Wants You To Know...Greedo Shoots First!! -- 500 total posts 35 posts
- Avid Comic Reader Hercules Does Battle With Tedium During Kevin Smith’s COMIC BOOK MEN! -- 28 total posts 28 posts