I am – Hercules!! It’s a Showtime miniseries, from writer Michael Hirst (1998’s “Elizabeth,” the 2005 TV-movie “Have No Fear: The Life of Pope John Paul II”), about England’s randy warrior King Henry VIII, who quit the Catholics and founded the Church of England so he could divorce his Spanish wife and marry a hot commoner. The project stars skinny Jonathan Rhys Meyers (“Mission: Impossible III”), Henry Czerny (“Mission: Impossible”), Sam Neill (“Jurassic Park III”), Natalie Dormer (“Casanova”), Jeremy Northam (“The Invasion”), Gabrielle Anwar (Body Snatchers”) and Callum Blue (“Dead Like Me”). The first two episodes, caught on OnDemand earlier this week, suffer from coming so soon after the superb finale of “Rome,” a similar but better-written and more propulsive historical drama boasting more compelling characterizations and a far sharper sense of humor. Where “Rome” kept us riveted to every scene, “Tudors” is more “Dynasty” than “The Sopranos,” and ultimately too flaccid and pedestrian to hold one’s attention beyond episode one. But what matters Herc’s opinion? The New York Times says:

… weaves its way through all kinds of court intrigue and bawdy sexual escapades, but for some reason it leaves the greatest romance of the Renaissance hazy. … enjoyable but not exhilarating, engaging but not hypnotic. At times, it’s closer to Mary Boleyn than Anne: beautiful to behold but not quite clever and beguiling enough to hold fickle viewers’ attention for 10 episodes. …

The Los Angeles Times says:

… if your big idea is that Henry VIII was an athletic, highly sexed stud muffin before he turned into the gluttonous caricature of popular imagination, that will not take you very far in and of itself — if television teaches us anything, it's that rich, good-looking young people can actually be extraordinarily tiresome. And though it starts out with a fair bit of energy, in spite of regular paroxysms of royal lust and pique, it becomes less engaging as it goes on and grows finally rather dull. …

The Chicago Tribune says:

… for all its ferocious ambition to be more than just another heavily corseted, respectful historical drama, "The Tudors" falls flat in more than one arena. Meyers certainly is easy on the eyes, but his portrayal of Henry consists of a smoldering glower and not much else. An hour or two of this fine-looking man glowering hotly is not exactly cruel and unusual punishment. Ten hours? Too much. It's not all the actor's fault; the script is so thin and obvious that it borders on self-parody at times. …

The San Francisco Chronicle says:

… a wonderful romp. Not only is the pilot, which airs Sunday -- the first of 10 episodes -- glossier, sexier and more triumphantly colorful than anything, say, "Masterpiece Theatre" could deliver, it's also hugely entertaining, thanks in large part to Jonathan Rhys Meyers, who just flat-out exudes sexiness and virility as the young King Henry VIII. …

The Seattle Post-Intelligencer says:

… It's difficult to put into words how brain-numbing this series is. Considering how tumultuous Henry VIII's reign was, the level of tedium permeating this work is astounding. When even the raunchy scenes make you yawn -- scenes airing on a channel known for primo soft-core smut, no less -- something's terribly wrong.…

The Boston Globe says:

… Alas, the lead actor isn't the only disappointment in this expensive 10-part series, which arrives on the crest of a massive promotional wave. The script is thin, too, rarely penetrating the surface of its many 16th-century emotional, religious, marital, and political situations. Written by Michael Hirst , who also wrote about Henry's daughter in Cate Blanchett's "Elizabeth," the series goes only rock-opera deep, moving full-steam ahead without much accounting for character motivation.…

USA Today says:

… Whether the effort works depends, in part, in whether viewers want a historical Masterpiece, along the lines of The Six Wives of Henry VIII, or whether they're in the mood for a soap romp with historical underpinnings, a sort of "Desperate Monarchs" or "Henry's Anatomy." If the latter will do, Tudors can offer many a royal pleasure, starting with Rhys Meyers' lusty performance, but including a mostly excellent supporting cast, high-class production values and an entertaining script from writer/producer Michael Hirst (the movie Elizabeth)…

Variety says:

… not the great series that it might have been, but it's certainly a watchable and diverting one … It's a rich, fascinating backdrop, which makes you wish that in the early going the story were a little stronger, the king's personality a little clearer. Despite Rhys Meyers' piercing gaze, preoccupied as he is with regal pleasures, he only comes into focus after a near-death experience that heightens his determination regarding Anne. On the down side, Dormer's Anne is a pivotal role, and she prowls and pouts like a contestant on "America's Next Top Model" but never proves particularly convincing. The story also drifts toward camp moments once Henry's sister Margaret (Gabrielle Anwar) arrives and is forced into a political marriage, leading to a sequence of breathy encounters that seem overly influenced by perfume ads. …

The Hollywood Reporter says:

… The series, a feast for the eyes, boasts stellar performances and a historically authentic aura but only occasional flashes of the kind of action and suspense you might expect from such a period piece. … The consequences for the world are large, and the series acknowledges them, but the real business here is the passions of Henry. As for the tumult of conquest and intrigue in the rest of the world, it is mainly represented in tedious scenes of formal signing ceremonies and occasional dialogue between Henry, Cardinal Wolsey and a variety of ambassadors with varying levels of diplomatic skills. …

TV Guide says:

… robustly entertaining … Less lurid than HBO's Rome, yet still quite the pageant of pomp and friskiness, it's a throwback to the old-fashioned miniseries of yore, spiced with pay-cable frankness. It may not be one for the history books, but methinks Henry might even enjoy. …

Time Magazine says:

… does not inspire great passions. … How does the series show that Henry is a humanist? By having Henry say things like, "As a humanist, this pleases me." Later, Henry visits [philosopher Thomas] More (the author of the treatise Utopia) and mentions that he has been doing some reading. "I've received a gift from the Duke of Urbino," Henry says. "It's a book called the Prince, by a Florentine, Niccolo Machiavelli... It's not like your book, Utopia. It's less... utopian." Which is (a) lame and (b) anachronistic, since the general term "utopian" didn't exist before More wrote the book (More coined the title name) and wasn't in general use until years afterward. …

10 p.m. Sunday. Showtime.

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