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Hercules Says Showtime’s TUDORS Is Too Little Too Late!!
SPOILER ALERT !!
I am – Hercules!!
It’s a Showtime miniseries, from writer Michael Hirst (1998’s “Elizabeth,” the 2005 TV-movie “Have No Fear: The Life of Pope John Paul II”), about England’s randy warrior King Henry VIII, who quit the Catholics and founded the Church of England so he could divorce his Spanish wife and marry a hot commoner. The project stars skinny Jonathan Rhys Meyers (“Mission: Impossible III”), Henry Czerny (“Mission: Impossible”), Sam Neill (“Jurassic Park III”), Natalie Dormer (“Casanova”), Jeremy Northam (“The Invasion”), Gabrielle Anwar (Body Snatchers”) and Callum Blue (“Dead Like Me”).
The first two episodes, caught on OnDemand earlier this week, suffer from coming so soon after the superb finale of “Rome,” a similar but better-written and more propulsive historical drama boasting more compelling characterizations and a far sharper sense of humor. Where “Rome” kept us riveted to every scene, “Tudors” is more “Dynasty” than “The Sopranos,” and ultimately too flaccid and pedestrian to hold one’s attention beyond episode one.
But what matters Herc’s opinion?
The New York Times says:
… weaves its way through all kinds of court intrigue and bawdy sexual escapades, but for some reason it leaves the greatest romance of the Renaissance hazy. … enjoyable but not exhilarating, engaging but not hypnotic. At times, it’s closer to Mary Boleyn than Anne: beautiful to behold but not quite clever and beguiling enough to hold fickle viewers’ attention for 10 episodes. …
The Los Angeles Times says:
… if your big idea is that Henry VIII was an athletic, highly sexed stud muffin before he turned into the gluttonous caricature of popular imagination, that will not take you very far in and of itself — if television teaches us anything, it's that rich, good-looking young people can actually be extraordinarily tiresome. And though it starts out with a fair bit of energy, in spite of regular paroxysms of royal lust and pique, it becomes less engaging as it goes on and grows finally rather dull. …
The Chicago Tribune says:
… for all its ferocious ambition to be more than just another heavily corseted, respectful historical drama, "The Tudors" falls flat in more than one arena. Meyers certainly is easy on the eyes, but his portrayal of Henry consists of a smoldering glower and not much else. An hour or two of this fine-looking man glowering hotly is not exactly cruel and unusual punishment. Ten hours? Too much. It's not all the actor's fault; the script is so thin and obvious that it borders on self-parody at times. …
The San Francisco Chronicle says:
… a wonderful romp. Not only is the pilot, which airs Sunday -- the first of 10 episodes -- glossier, sexier and more triumphantly colorful than anything, say, "Masterpiece Theatre" could deliver, it's also hugely entertaining, thanks in large part to Jonathan Rhys Meyers, who just flat-out exudes sexiness and virility as the young King Henry VIII. …
The Seattle Post-Intelligencer says:
… It's difficult to put into words how brain-numbing this series is. Considering how tumultuous Henry VIII's reign was, the level of tedium permeating this work is astounding. When even the raunchy scenes make you yawn -- scenes airing on a channel known for primo soft-core smut, no less -- something's terribly wrong.…
The Boston Globe says:
… Alas, the lead actor isn't the only disappointment in this expensive 10-part series, which arrives on the crest of a massive promotional wave. The script is thin, too, rarely penetrating the surface of its many 16th-century emotional, religious, marital, and political situations. Written by Michael Hirst , who also wrote about Henry's daughter in Cate Blanchett's "Elizabeth," the series goes only rock-opera deep, moving full-steam ahead without much accounting for character motivation.…
USA Today says:
… Whether the effort works depends, in part, in whether viewers want a historical Masterpiece, along the lines of The Six Wives of Henry VIII, or whether they're in the mood for a soap romp with historical underpinnings, a sort of "Desperate Monarchs" or "Henry's Anatomy." If the latter will do, Tudors can offer many a royal pleasure, starting with Rhys Meyers' lusty performance, but including a mostly excellent supporting cast, high-class production values and an entertaining script from writer/producer Michael Hirst (the movie Elizabeth)…
Variety says:
… not the great series that it might have been, but it's certainly a watchable and diverting one … It's a rich, fascinating backdrop, which makes you wish that in the early going the story were a little stronger, the king's personality a little clearer. Despite Rhys Meyers' piercing gaze, preoccupied as he is with regal pleasures, he only comes into focus after a near-death experience that heightens his determination regarding Anne. On the down side, Dormer's Anne is a pivotal role, and she prowls and pouts like a contestant on "America's Next Top Model" but never proves particularly convincing. The story also drifts toward camp moments once Henry's sister Margaret (Gabrielle Anwar) arrives and is forced into a political marriage, leading to a sequence of breathy encounters that seem overly influenced by perfume ads. …
The Hollywood Reporter says:
… The series, a feast for the eyes, boasts stellar performances and a historically authentic aura but only occasional flashes of the kind of action and suspense you might expect from such a period piece. … The consequences for the world are large, and the series acknowledges them, but the real business here is the passions of Henry. As for the tumult of conquest and intrigue in the rest of the world, it is mainly represented in tedious scenes of formal signing ceremonies and occasional dialogue between Henry, Cardinal Wolsey and a variety of ambassadors with varying levels of diplomatic skills. …
TV Guide says:
… robustly entertaining … Less lurid than HBO's Rome, yet still quite the pageant of pomp and friskiness, it's a throwback to the old-fashioned miniseries of yore, spiced with pay-cable frankness. It may not be one for the history books, but methinks Henry might even enjoy. …
Time Magazine says:
… does not inspire great passions. … How does the series show that Henry is a humanist? By having Henry say things like, "As a humanist, this pleases me." Later, Henry visits [philosopher Thomas] More (the author of the treatise Utopia) and mentions that he has been doing some reading. "I've received a gift from the Duke of Urbino," Henry says. "It's a book called the Prince, by a Florentine, Niccolo Machiavelli... It's not like your book, Utopia. It's less... utopian." Which is (a) lame and (b) anachronistic, since the general term "utopian" didn't exist before More wrote the book (More coined the title name) and wasn't in general use until years afterward. …
10 p.m. Sunday. Showtime.
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does it seem that having the story of Henry and his friends running around the kingdom banging hot chicks smack as Showtimes attempt at getting thier own Entorage.
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Its more an attempt at a 1500's version of ROME, but there definately is a touch of Enourage in it, now that you mention it. Decent, but yeah, Herc hit the nail on the head, WAY too soon after ROME to be anything but a pale shadow.
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and folks say USA Today is for dumb people. that's actually witty stuff.
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Even more than Rome. May be I am dumb and easily exited, but amount of sex in Tudors makes not so great writing bearable.
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I swear i saw so many promos I feel like I've already seen the series. And some of those ads seemed to last ten minutes and revealed major plot points. I think they started the heavy adverts back when "Dexter" was first running.
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Henry wants to get divorced! Shocking, eh? I think I saw that in one of the ads and it spoiled the whole show for me.
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Is that they are given to airing the same kind of trash that regular network stations do. The difference being that Showtime can have boobies. The problem with the Tudors (first two episodes can be watched for free on the Showtime website, btw) is that it's more WB/CW teen sex rubbish with cute, young actors filling all the key roles. Tudors manages to hit every teen drama network tv cliche in the book, including dull, banal, sleep-inducing dialogue. If Showtime wants to step up to HBOs level, they need to get over this whole "What is going to be popular with the average 18-28 crowd?" mentality.
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Or just stick to Fawlty Towers.
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yet? I have no interest in Tudors.
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Check it out before it's gone.
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A great miniseries with JRM in the lead, plus all those Brit actors who showed up in Harry Potter. I never read the books, but it's pretty dark and cool.
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Now that is a great show.
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It's shame that most of the Irish cast members, including JRM, fail to manage a consistent English accent. Accents that slip are very offputting: do it properly, or don't bother at all.
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in the miniseries to interest Hercules. She seems to only like the strong ladies.
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RIGHT?
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I'll pass.
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i saw the first few episodes on virgin atlantic 2 weeks ago. suffice it to say i watched because i'd already seen the other films available and i still had like 5 hours of flight time to kill. bo-ring!
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Could work. He is a fascinating character. Though I do hear it is light on the substance. I am interested though, in seeing the guy who played Audrey Raines's hubby on 24. I understand he plays Thomas Cromwell, who eventually becomes Henry's chief executioner.
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now i would like to see a cockfight between those 2 bitches!
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Thank you Michael Bay
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Vince got his head shaved at Wrestlemania. Legit, full haircut. Where's Shermdawg; we needs us a PBP.
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Austin gave the Stunner to Trump for good measure; didn't see that one coming...
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"You said it was a good size?!!"
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word
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Comparisons are inevitable, but you couldn't top the 1970 mini-series with a cherry.
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...a large bearded ginger bloke, not unlike a certain webmaster? Obviously the logical choice to play him is Jonathan Rhys Meyers, who I find to be just plain creepy. And not in a good actor way either, just creepy in a I just don't want to watch anything he's in kind of way.
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If Dan Dority had one.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tpr1Qc3PaA
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Maybe they should have gotten Angus McFaydden--he could pull of the girth and gravitas of King 'Enry the Eighff.
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where they showed the dying pope at st peters basilica before it was every started, 100 years before it was finished....
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When it got to the scene with Henry being shrewd while playing chess with his ambassador and they signed off with 'checkmate' as dialogue, I resigned. As Roger Ebert has no doubt twigged, "Chess board!" is the new "Fruit cart!"
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I just watched the 1st 2 episodes of Tudors and won't be watching anymore.
Boring .....
With "Rome" you knew who the players were. With Tudors you really don't and they have given us little reason to care. I am just not interested.
Now as for Rome. (1) they never should have replaced Max Prixus (sp?) as Augustus. Never got the sense of competence or threat from the new guy. (2) Season 2 was rushed, but they had no choice.
Titus would kick Dan Dority's ass, but Swearengen would own Vorenus. Vorenus however, would kick Bullock's ass. And Star is a better Jew than Timon, brother killing and all. And as for Trixies versus Caprica Six, I am not sure who would win but I'd like to see it (imaging Marc Anthony's girl fight during season 1). Atia would chew Rosylen up and spit her out.
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