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Two More Reviews Of HARRY POTTER & THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX!!
SPOILER ALERT !!
Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here.
When I ran one spy’s reaction to this film last week, I got all sorts of angry, pissy letters from HARRY POTTER fans.
And it was a largely positive review.
So since I haven’t been called a “stupid fucko” in a week or so, I thought I’d run a few more early reviews for the film. Keep in mind, this is still being put together, and any opinion right now has to do with a work in progress, not the end result you’ll see in theaters this summer.
Here’s the first report:
Hey there. Saw a free screening of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. It was a while ago, but I've had crazy deadlines at work this week so this is a delayed review. Sorry. There's some spoilers. I have to say, this series keeps getting better and better with every installment! How many times do we see other big franchises (Stars Wars, Lord of the Rings, etc.) start off with a bang and then blow out like a candle? It's nice to see the opposite happen with Potter: it started off slow and tiny with Chris Columbus's so-so kiddy friendly approach and has really exploded into a series that I think will end up being far more prolific than all of those combined. Yeah that's right, I went there. I can't believe I'm saying this, but this new one makes Lord of the Rings look like a fucking cartoon. And it was only a rough cut!
So basically the story is this: Last year Voldemort came back and this year the Ministry of Magic is saying he didn't in order to maintain their political power. They place a Ministry official in the school--Umbridge, a psychotic stepford bitch in pink--to enforce new regulations that will keep the students from learning how to defend themselves against dark arts and to prevent Harry from proving that Voldemort is in fact back in action. So Harry leads an underground group of students where they train to become badass fighters before facing off with Voldemort and his death eaters. Throughout the movie everyone keeps ignoring Harry for his own safety and the only one he can turn to is his uncle, Sirius Black, who is willing to fight by his side. For once the story is actually easy to follow. Usually I have to bug my friends with all kinds of stupid questions but this time I got it and somehow actually managed to remember most of the names.
The cinematography was PHENOMENAL. Very classy old school approach that really takes advantage of widescreen. Think Dr Zivango, Lawrence of Arabia, etc. Very epic feel. It starts off with Harry and his stupid fat ghetto-wannabe cousin getting chased by Dementors (creepier and more decaying than the ones in Prisoner of Askaban) who show up with a huge rainstorm out of nowhere. This was pretty cool and it was nice to finally see a Potter movie start off with an intense action sequence. Also veryy refreshing was seeing epic wide shots of the characters flying through London at night. I couldn't figure out why I found this so cool and exciting, but now that I think back on it, I guess it's actually somewhat of a cinematic first. In movies we usually only get wild helicopter night shots of places like New York when Spider-Man is slinging around.
The special effects with the creatures weren't done so they all had a cheap Nintendo 64-ish look to them. But a lot of the other stuff seemed complete. There were a lot of cool scenes in this one: Dumbledore escaping the Ministry in a burst of flames, Helena Bonhamcarter escaping Askaban prison, Harry doing detention by writing lines with his own blood, flying through London--TWICE, Snape breaking into Harry Potter's mind and vice versa, Umbridge getting chased by animal shaped fireworks, Redhead girl smashing a library full of crystal balls, Gary Oldman fighting with Helena BonhamCarter, and the best for last: Dumbledore fighting Voldemort one on one. That last scene wasn't finished but boy does it fucking deliver! What's cool about it is that you're not just watching special effects but you're also getting kickass dramatic performances from Fiennes and the other guy. The boy does an amazing job too when acting like he's possessed by Voldemort.
This time all the actors are at the head of their game. Even the kids. Umbridge was a pretty interesting villain to watch. Very unlike what you'd expect. She's even scarier than Voldemort by the end of it. Although maybe that's a bad thing, because I actually didn't find Voldemort too threatening in comparison to her. There's this blond girl too, Luna, who's really funny and teaches Harry about getting over the loss of loved ones. Sadly we don't get to see too much of Alan Rickman. But for the little screen time he IS given, he's sucking brilliant. His scenes where he's entering Harry's mind are pretty cool too, the way they're edited in a real fast paced choppy kind of way. In fact I really liked a lot of the camera work and editing in this. The editing style is choppy in a really artistic sort of way which helps move the story along at a good pace. What's also nice is that there's a lot of, um dunno how to say this… chorepgraphy? Scenography? With the actors. The way they move around the locations helps dramatise the scenes even more. Emma Thompson is back from the Askaban movie too, and she gets fired by Umbridge for being a phony and that scene was done really well. Robbie Coltrane also isn't in this much, and his time there feels a little too much like a plot gimmick. His role is to just introduce his long lost brother, who's a giant, who then ends up doing something later. That part felt a little too detached, even though it has its purpose in the plot. The movie was kinda long. 2 and ½ hours, but it feels more like two hours. Still, there were some parts with Umbridge that maybe could have been cut down only because they felt redundant.
And at this point I think I'm spoiling it too much and I'm not good at writing reviews anyways. Point is, I think this movie will end up being a pleasant surprise to a lot of people and I'm definitely going to see it again once it's finished. This movie is insane. If you're looking for a big action film that actually has some emotional depth and epic performances for a change, then don't miss this.
Er, call me Mr Twit
Does Mr Twit have leaves? Let’s see what this other spy has to say:
Hi Harry,
I just read "Rosncranz's" review of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and I think I should step in here. I too saw the super secret test screening here in Chicago. I was in the "first crowd" to see the movie. There were two screenings on Saturday, a show at 4pm for adults but I was
lucky enough to be in the 1pm show with all the kiddies. There is nothing quite like the reaction heard when we were told that we were to see the latest movie in what I believe to be the best (current) series of movies. I think that these movies just keep getting better. I think that Azkaban and Goblet of Fire were amazing and this stands up next to them.
The next few paragraphs will be spolier-ish.
We open to reports of a severe drought and Harry sitting on a swing at a park where Dudley has just been beating up 10yr olds. "This one deserved it!" Dudley quickly turns his attention to tormenting Harry by mocking his dead mother. Yeesh! Harry gets riled up and goes after Dudley with his wand. All of a sudden, clouds and thunder overhead. It seems like Harry has somehow conjured this up but we soon learn that this is the doing of two Dementors. They chase the boys into an underground passageway. Harry must use magic to save not only himself but Dudley as well. This lands Harry in deep trouble with the Minestry of Magic and he is expelled from Hogwarts!!! The only way to clear his name is an emergency trial...where Dumbledore acts as his lawyer and gets him reinstated at school. Natch.
Back at Hogwarts, Harry is plagued by nightmares involving Voldemort and is becoming more and more withdrawn from his mates. This is a much darker Harry than we are used to seeing. The entire cast has grown up but we see the most change in Harry. We learn that the nightmares that Harry is having is actually Voldemort trying to...for lack of a better word...possess him. He wants to use Harry for the location of "the prophecy". This is a "document" containing the exact manner of relationship between Harry and Voldemort. It basically states that one cannot survive while the other does. Or in Harry's words "One of us will have to kill the other before its all done" Talk about great foreshadowing!
Throughout the course of the movie we see several training sequences involving "Dumbledore's Army" Harry and the gang have formed an underground club to learn and use magic as a weapon and as a defense. These bits are great as we get to see Harry at his finest. It's also fun to see them getting the better of the HORRIBLE Professor Umbridge. Theres a part where the Weasley twins really get their revenge! All in all, the majority of the second act is the kids getting prepared for the coolest moment in Harry Potter history so far.
THE WIZARD WAR!!!
This is Team Dumbledore: Harry, Hermoine, Ron, Sirius...etc. VS. Team Voldemort: Malfoy Sr., Bellatrix Lestrange (Sirius' sister???) and a cast of baddies. This reminds me very much of the Jedi battles in ROTS. Lots of effects (due to the nature of the screening, these weren't finished yet) and LOTS of action. I will have to agree with the previous review in that it is getting tough to see Voldemort escape time after time only to set up the next movie. That aside, true Potter fans will not be disappointed. There are stand outs, good and bad...Hagrids brother is meant for comic relief but I don't think it works. Umbridge is hardly bearable. The bright spots are the Weasly twins, Harrys new bad-ass-edness, his intense make out with Cho, and little Luna Lovegood.
I would have to say that this movie is another Harry Potter success coming in just below Goblet of Fire on my favorites list. It's great to see these actors mature and truly have ownership of their roles. I give this movie an A-
If you use this, call me: The Illegitimate Son of Krypton
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+ Expand All
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i doubt it
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Double Duh
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I'm interested to see how this is. It was my least favorite of all the books. Just took forever to get going. Its overlong by about 200 pages. Anyway the quality on the movies just seems to get better and better.
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The first sounded like a huge fan of the series, the second seemed more balanced? Can't wait to see it, I hope WB is offering me preview tickets again!
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But the climax was an extreme Meh-fest for me. The ending was all muddled and left me feeling that it was hastily thrown together. As with the rest of the books, the character development was what carried the whole story and most of that gets lost in translation when it comes to the films.
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What a cunt. I can't WAIT to see her onscreen. BTW, my dad was a high school principal for ten years and said she was his favorite character. I feel like I should be terrified.
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This was my least favorite of the HP books because it seemed like the plot was really dragging, and too much of the book was devoted to the Weasley's harassing Umbridge as opposed to the return of Voldemort. I think that could work to the movie's favor though, because with less 'plot' to condense into it's running time, the movie will probably feel less rushed and patched together than it's predecessors. (Of course, Azkaban and GoF have set the bar pretty high)
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I'm watching all of the movies again, and will read the last two books before 7 comes out. Columbus' movies do not hold up well, but they are not bad.
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That book needed roughly 200 pages chopped right out of it to tighten it up and improve the overall pacing. But hey, I'm guessing her contract calls for her to be paid by the page, which is probably why Stephen King could stand to lose about 100 pages per book as well.
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quasi spoiler from Book Two of The Pandora's Box Trilogy: Pillars and Stone. I know the author. I'm sooo busted.
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And I suppose that the effects team completely forgot about the creeptastic freezing that the Dementors afflicted upon their surroundings in the Third Film?
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Damn you Michael Bay for having to eat.
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Damn you Michael Bay for having to eat.
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You lost me at the ludicrous hyperbole, dude. I don't care how good this is.
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Yipee!!!!
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It was my favorite personally.
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After everything he's seen Harry do. Who'd believe that Dudley would still torment Harry?
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The last few books needed to be tighter. When it comes to Stephen King, I expect that hack to churn out pages upon pages of dreadful prose. Rowling had proven herself to be otherwise beforehand, yet her recent works are plodding and overtly contorted plots that need trimming. I thought she was smarter than that.
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Outside the jurisdiction of the school, and the family is well aware of it. He's slipped a couple times, but they know he can get reprimanded for doing any type of spell outside of the hallowed halls.
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Oh my God, I was wrong/It was earth all along!
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THE BEST FANTASTY MOVIE BASED ON A NOVEL IS NONE!!!!!
300 is the best graphic novel movie. Everything in the movie was unrealistic, acting was ok but man the action rocked with all the blood and shit.
Also all those animals and shit we saw were fantasty characters but well done and integarted into the movie. I hope all 300 type movies are shot in a similar style.
FUCK LOTR, HARRY POTTER, NARNIA !!!!
My anticipated movies for each month
January- NONE
February- Ghost Rider (sucked [3/10])
March- 300 (Good [8/10] )
April- NONE
May- Spider-Man 3
June- Fantastic 4: Rise of silver surfer
July- The simpsons
August- The Bourne Ultimatum
September- Resident Evil: Extinction
October-Not sure what movies coming
November-Not sure what movies coming
December-AVP 2 -
I can't wait for the Order of the Phoenix to come out! The first 2 movies were too kiddie, however the artistic direction of the last 2 movies have been superb. But even better than Harry Potter 5 will be the Half-Blood Prince, Voldemort's flashback scenes will be awesome I know it
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what about Grindhouse in April?
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I really get annoyed with all the ripping on the first movies in this series. These movies PERFECTLY mirror the feel of the books. The first book is about an 11 year old and his frame of reference. Second, a 12 year old, and so on. Why do people love the third one so much? Because it's when he starts leaving childhood. Why will this be popular? Because he starts to leave adolescence. Columbus did a fantastic job creating the base for this world. Having new directors put their spin on things works perfect for the feel of these books. But no need to rip Columbus in COMPARING him to the other filmmakers. Those first two books WERE kiddy books. The movies, each one of them, have reflected their source material. Kudos to Hollywood for doing a truly admirable job with a great set of books.
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I'd buy tickets all day to see that!
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Seriously man. First of all, you said that the series started strong to 'blow out like a candle'. Really? No seriously, I would love to have the discussion with you. FOTR is my favorite movie of all time (No seriously, Im not just saying that), but ROTK did not 'let down' the series. It was VERY good. AMAZING, in fact. Also, very little in the world of cinema currently contends with the effects which were presented in the Lord of the Rings films. Very little. In fact, George and his folkd would have a hard time keeping up with what WETA did. That took love. Please defend you comments, I would love to know what you think.
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its my favorite book too. I am not sure why everyone doesnt like it. It, without a doubt, stood for what the series was REALLY about. Didn't it?
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I love how you managed to use the word 'hallow' in your post. NICE.
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...so I don't know what you people are talking about. Honestly, I don't. Really.
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I should rent that one.
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I stopped reading that review there- obviously that discredited the review right off the bat. Even if the Harry Potter reviews are getting better, to suggest that :Harry Potter makes LOTR look like a cartoon" is the stupidest statement I have ever heard.
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Moriarty, you are cracking me up too much! But you did ruin that poor guys career as he will now be forever known as Take A Shit Guy... especially since his one other big role is Xerxes who stands looking like a baby who is taking a shit in their diaper.
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I was a little wary after that first review, but these and some others have made me feel loads better. I'm kinda sad that Alan Rickman doesn't get much screentime, though. I was really looking forward to those scenes between him and Harry.
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It's my second favorite of the books so far (3, 5, 6, 4, 2, 1 - GOF might have been higher up the list, but THAT book took forever to get going for me. It's really almost two shorter books squished together. Maybe OOTP is the same, to a certain extent, but I found it to be a more enjoyable read than the kid focused/friendly GOF). Both of these reviews are more what I was looking for. It sounds like the got the right pieces in the movie, and that they might have done a good job with those pieces. Getting more excited now.
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The first guy is an idiot, who if not a straight up PLANT, then most certainly is just a doorknob-dumb ass. LAWRENCE OF FUCKIN ARABIA ???!?!?!?! Holy shit, it takes balls to just toss in references like that and Star Wars and shit into a review for a friggin Harry Potter movie. And it's also the worst one. Wayyyy too long, completely unfocused, a waste of a novel, a shitty character death that is done (at least in the book) fairly vaguely, and subplots that are just unnecessary. The whole time in the book, you're waiting for something to happen, but instead we stay with the kids who for the most part are shielded from the real action happening. Instead, we just wait until the end for any sort of insight into this big supposed war and guerilla battles that we know are taking place. Fuck, and Goblet of Fire sucked too.
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Uh... did you even see the trilogy? WTF?
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Fuck, it was in the -title- of the last movie. Pull your head out of your ass.
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He's damn right. I mean, the rotoscoping is just plain bad and the animation looks horrid, even for the 70s. Thank God Peter Jackson came along and gave us a damn near perfect film adaptation.
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Yeah we call that 'mise-en-scene' (from French) or 'blocking' (from threatre) - a term for directing, but meaning only that part of the art concerned with the way the cast (and camera, and moving props like cars, jets, spaceships, bikes, etc,) -- plus animals too I guess! -- are physically moved
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"Your gun is digging into my hip!"
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SPOILERS
Well Harry did kill 1/7 of Voldermort in Chamber of Secrets. He keeps on coming back because Voldermort did something to cause that to happen -
why isn't it online yet?
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"You hear that Mr. Anderson?... That is the sound of inevitability... It is the sound of your death... Goodbye, Mr. Anderson... "
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for not insulting other franchises as a means of boosting this one, as Mr. Twit did. And for being able to spell.
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Rag rag rag on the guy for giving his opinion. Personally, I somewhat agree with his assessment of the LOTR trilogy. I think the first film is amazing. I think the second film is unwatchably long. I think the third film has so many endings that it completely loses the arc it's been building for three movies totalling 8 hours (longer with the director's cuts). So, who cares if the guy thinks the LOTR sequels weren't as good as the first (I agree). Or that Return Of The Jedi was not as good as Empire (I'm sure more than just myself believe this to be true). In fact, I've heard a lot of bashing of Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade...a movie that I love, yet people bash. How many film series can boast a FIFTH film in the franchise that is better than the previous four? No fair counting reboots like Batman Begins or Superman Returns. Love these films or hate them, they are truly gorundbreaking in what they will have by the end of the 7th and final film. Watching the kids grow, the actors evolve. Almost like a television series. I really dig it.
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Also, um LIAM NEESON IS RA'S AL GHUL. BRAD PITT IS IN ED NORTON'S CRAZY HEAD. GUY PEARCE IS THE GUY HE KEEPS TELLING STORIES ABOUT. That's all I got for now.
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mise
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where's the cook when you need one
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"Fifty dollar bills? FIFTY DOLLAR BILLS!"
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Two bits to anyone who can name where that one comes from. Hint: There's ventriloquism involved!
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Two bits to anyone who can name where that one comes from. Hint: There's ventriloquism involved!
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Two bits to anyone who can name where that one comes from. Hint: There's ventriloquism involved!
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Two bits to anyone who can name where that one comes from. Hint: There's ventriloquism involved!
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Stupid dial-up.
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And Stanwyk's a bigamist. SHock and Horror!!!
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Which allows them to get the amulet and win. Oh and PHOEBE is the virgin they need.
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Turns out "he" was a she, though, and just frustrated to be living in a time period where loving another woman was not considered "acceptable.". Twas beauty what killed the beast!
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Horray for 20 minutes of endings! Huzzah!!! Jump for joy on the bed then sing along then mope along and then hug alot and then stare forlornly and etc. etc. Damn movie shoulda ended when Frodo said, "Its over, its done." Cut to black, roll credits. There's an ending.
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Well, Dumbledore's next. What'd ya expect. Next you'll be surprised Harry dies in Deathly Hallows!
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Damn you Michael Bay
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The Weasleys figuratively bitchsmacking Umbridge makes up for any flaws in the book. Hope they can portray it in a worthy manner in the film.
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The Tales From the Crypt episode with bobcat goldwaith.
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why I felt the need to answer that.
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She's going to be a fine looking woman one day, but those rapidly growing mojambos are putting this franchise in danger of jumping the shark. Although that said she is 15 in this. Oh and by the way, BringingSexyBack is homosexual.
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...actually, my favorite of the series. I read through half of it in one sitting and finished it off pretty quickly. It's the one I can't wait to see the adaptation of. I think Mr. Twit was just using literary comparicons when calling LOTR a "cartoon." I imagine he liked the movies and used said it to pay a compliment to the Potter movies. Kinda funny how all of Peter Jackson's wanna=be-man-lovers here got their panties in a twist. Want to hear an accurate desription of LOTR??? Go rent Clerks 2 and watch the scene where Randall pisses off the hobbit.
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admits he isn't a very good reviewer. Thats more than most do. I think Order will make a decent enough movie. It's certainly the most densely plotted of the books, which sadly means Half-Blood Prince will be ever more crap in comparison, being 400 pages of filler.
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But what these reviews fail to tell me EXACTLY how Natalia Tena as Tonks is THE SEX.
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Harry Potter eats cocks, and is a stupid series. However, the girl in it could eat my cock whenever she likes.
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Harry Potter eats cocks, and is a stupid series. However, the girl in it could eat my cock whenever she likes.
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But could she eat it twice? The problem with this book is highlighted in this direct quote: "Harry stomped angrily into the kitchen. He was angry, picking up his robe angrily and clutching the door knob with an angry snarl before angrily striding through the door, slamming it shut with an angry fierce angriness. It made quite a noise, and that's because he was so angry."
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But I had a shirt that said I did.
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where the fuck do you keep finding these reviewers Mori? they write like twelve year olds.
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Yes, I'm old.
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The first review pissed me off a bit...Sirius is Harry's GODFATHER not uncle and it's Azkaban. The movie seems o triump where the book suffered tremendously....I don't understand people who call it their favourite book...especially after the genius of Prisoner of Azkaban, the intensity of Goblet of Fire or the sheer creepiness of Half-Blood (which could have done with some editing too). Order of the Phoenix was a mediocre book which had few redeeming features.
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She was talking to a friend about this film and she sounded seriously excited, aside from her thinking it was going to be the coolest of the 5 she was also please to be involved with such talent, she was literally buzzing up and down, until I asked her for an autograph and then she stopped smiling and told me to fuck off!, dark wizards eh?
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he ending, if dine right, should seriously rock. The showdown between Fiennes and that guy is a classic if done right.
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i wrote this in the other talkback but had to use it agin: yeah, it's much grimmer than many of the previous books but then it's meant to be. Goblet of Fire was building up to a triumphal finish when suddenly Harry gets teleported to human sacrifice central and gets to watch Voldermort's grisly revivification. that should be enough to fuck anyone up for the summer (one of the many faults of Newell's Goblet of Fire film was its failure to capture this shift in tone from triumph to despair). OotP begins on this dark note, and gets darker: not only is he being oddly isolated from all his friends but he comes back to school and everyone acts like nothing's happened. worse, they think he's a liar. much of the book is an exercise in persecution and self-doubt. and the culmination of OotP is basically the same as Empire Strikes Back: the hero choses rash action over wisdom and restraint and ends up getting tricked into an unnecessary confrontation that results in the loss of someone close. like the ending of Goblet of Fire, it's an antidote to the the easy trimphalism of the earlier books, when Harry always triumphs despite the odds. this time, the odds bite him in the ass, knock him down, and continue to kick him while he's laying there. OotP isn't perfect: like all the later Harry Potter books, it could use a good editor, and the whole teenage anger thing gets a little worn (although perhaps it's meant to). but i reckon OotP is probably the most underrated Potter book and, if done right, could be one of the strongest films.
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His rivalry with Harry's father has been lost, his relationship to Black and Lupin wasn't even established for their encounter in PoA (nor was the meaning of Harry's petronus or the makers of the Map), and yet even knowing the Harry/Snape rivalry needs to be building for the next movie, they STILL barely use him in this movie? I am so sick of reading "we don't get much of Snape" for every fucking movie. I think the movie writers are idiots. A little goes a long way, but sometimes too little is just too little. I this case, too little writing talent. ********************************** Also, that first reviewer should be ignored since he obviously just wanted to use a cliche about franchises getting worse with time and lumped anything that was another franchise in as an example. He probably said Star Wars and the Matrix when he saw Return of the King, and will probably mention the Harry Potter franchise getting worse when he plants...I mean, reviews Pirates of the Carribean 3.
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Can't believe he didn't notice.
"Oswald was a fag." -
Understanding the need to cut out/down on some parts of the books, the lack of Snape is not a good idea.
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Hi-o!!
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It's People!!
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Gasp!
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A f***ing sled, but a nice one.
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What a retarded movie.
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I thought it was a vagna....! --G
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"Thank God Peter Jackson came along and gave us a damn near perfect film adaptation."
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks man...I really needed a good laugh this early in the morning! Oh, and I, to would pay to see Malfoy Jr. get assraped. Now that's comedy! -
Ron Weasley is George Bush. Hermione represents Margaret Thatcher. Dudley represents Michael Moore. Damn all the politics in these movies! Plus, the homoerotic relationship between Ron and Harry is a little over the top. When Harry tell's Ron: "I just do not know how I might quit you," and the pulls his pants down, it just ruins the magic of it for me.
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Order of the Phoenix was my favorite book right up until no one from Harry's group of friends died or was mamed. So you are telling me that the Death Eaters who have been masters at the dark arts for years and kill and mame people just for fun couldn't take out any of Harry's Phoenix groupies who had only been training on defense against the dark arts for like 9 months. I still cant get around this. Someone explain to me how these Death Eaters should even be feared if these little unexperienced punks can stop them. You would think that all the adults would just go mop the floor with Death Eaters.
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What a load of crap this book was. It took nearly the length of the first book for Harry to start the next year of schooling and the book to actually start. I agree, get an editor. The other 600 pages pretty slow too. "Snape kills Dumbledore" (HP6) a little faster read. Hope "Harry Potter Dies" (HP7) is better. "Harry Potter's Friend Dies Really Fast" is still my favorite book.
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Saw this last week, they made it a little more "kid-friendly" Dumbledore doesn't die, he just gets knocked out for awhile
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....I agree slightly but Snape was underused in the Ootp Book anyway. I don't think the wirters are idiots, just that more than one screenwriter should be used.
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Yer dumb.
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thanks man, i feel i can now take on the world with that Bush-like comment. Down with rednecks
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Everyone talks about how Azkaban was the best when it was the one movie the least like the book (which happens to be one of my favorites in the series) I mean so many important things were left out that i worried how the future directors and screenwrites would be able to tell the story. GOF was awesome and much more like what I expected from the HP franchise. If OOTP is anything like 4 then I'm set! I can't wait to see the Weasley Twins taking flight from Hogwarts and Harry leading the DA.
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with balls is spot on. However, you find me a career editor at bloomsbury who is going to have the guts to say "I'm sorry Miss Rowling, but can you trim 300 odd pages of self-indulgent tripe out of this bloated novel?" I also wonder why nobody ever picks up on the blatant Gollum-speak that she gives Kreacher. Not a good book.
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are the most over rated crap fests of all times. Why ruin books with stupid movie adaptations that can't grasp what the human imagination is capable of. Also Star Wars movies are the worst movies of all time. I'd rather be forced to watch Monkeybone over and over again than to ever listen to some fucking muppet talk about the "force" or a bunch of dickheads prancing around.
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Goblet of Fire was a terrible movie because it showed you what happened but not why (you don't even know who won the Quiddich World Cup from watching the film!). And in many cases it removed the meaning from those events that the film showed and worse yet, changed their meaning! It removed Dobby and that whole motif with Hermione's worker's rights movement and I'm sure that Phoenix will change a lot of the plot as well to conveinantly push the story forward like Goblet did. Obviouslly a lot will left off the screen but I hope what's there in this film actually contains the meaning it's supposed to instead of just looking nice. Soooo much great stuff with Snape (and others) was left out of Goblet I can't fuckin believe it. The foot-caught-in-the-staircase scene when Harry's got on the invisibility cloak for instance. But as long as Ginny gets a lot of screen time I'll keep my list of complaints pleasantly to myself, maybe. But I hope Harry's lines are heavily edited and carefully selected from the book because all that fucking whining he does makes him sound like a AICN talkbacker and nobody wants to see or hear a film about those people!
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But Superman reverses everything by flying around the earth backwards real fast. Image taking a dump at that precise moment.
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Ball flying through the hoop or Krum smashing an Irish dude into the ground. Much better than snakey. Could have held Snake part for later. Whoever said these movies start boring was spot on too. This open sounds great though.. Oh and the Yer Dumb was "dumb" as in funny. Like "your so stupid". In case you didn't know Dumbledore dies in 6 not 5. So I thought you were being silly. Guess I was wrong. My sarcasm is recended. Love you though.
-
well thanks :)
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IT'S A DUDE!
-
Classic. Gambon is a total badass. I've liked him in pretty much anything, but talk about range? How about playing a president from Texas and pulling it off (see HBO LBJ PDQ). Oh, and your mom.
-
and Emma Watson needs to change her image by ripping her shirt off and showing those tits. Isn't that legal in UK movies at her age ? Whatever, all I've got to say is whoever cast her had a pretty damn good eye for talent.
-
As I said before OotP was not my favourite book in the series, what with a moaning Harry and the fact that Umbridge doesn't get killed by the Centaurs at the end. WHY?
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are you on the Megan's Law list?
-
You think? Jesus, this isn't a review it's a 4th grade book report (e.g., "and this happened, and then this happened..."). Jesus, Harry, how about only posting reviews from people who have actually read the books? I'm so sick of people saying things like, "And then a blonde girl did this..." What poorly written reviews.
-
This film is based on arguably the worst book in the series. Even J.K. acknowledges that she experienced "writer's block" when she worked on it and it shows. As someone noted above, they don't even get to the school for half the book and by the end of the story not all that much happens. Book 6 was terrific, however, and I look forward to seeing it on the screen.
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aw, forget it.
-
I've said this before but the Potter books have way too many rich, interesting stories and characters to shoe-horn into a 3-hr movie. Make each book a full season (American because they have the $$ for the effects) TV series and it'll be a huge hit.
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or is it jetsam.
-
and there's not a GTAS mask in sight.
-
I don't know why people think that the actors will get too old to play kids. They'll probably only end up being a few years older than the characters are supposed to be. Hollywood regularly casts 25-30 year olds as high school kids. What's the difference?
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I asked. And Everything.
-
"How many times do we see other big franchises (Stars Wars, Lord of the Rings, etc.) start off with a bang and then blow out like a candle?"
Ms Twat, you idiotic windbag, LOTR's last film, Return of the King, won two billion oscars including Best Picture. How is that "blowing out like a candle"? What a dildo-ish hater.
And a rank amatuer review at that. -
That's right, Zuzu.
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I'll Paypal you the 2 bits....;)
-
You said, "Oh, and I, to would pay to see Malfoy Jr. get assraped" From what I have been told you can probably download a lot of homosexual porn for free on the internet. Of course, if you can't stay away from the the pedophilia stuff you should get therapy. By the way, all three of Jackson's LOTR movies were great (not perfect) but great.
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Toht melts away like a Cadbury creme egg on a 100 degreee Easter day.
-
Devito becomes a Suppi.
-
So says Ralph Malph! Actually, he said "Tony Perkins is his own mother!" DUH!
-
Sonny gets gunned down at a tollbooth. Moe Green's out of the Tropicana.
-
the damned are cast into Hell. The faithful enter heaven. Wait a second. That's not a movie. That's how the world will end. Sorry, I should have put a spoiler alert up.
-
...wasn't he in Planet of the Apes?
-
Seymour and Audrey originally died, though.
-
They kidnap John Candy and force him to open thew rides for them. Mr. Wally is a nice guy about the whole thing.
-
Audrey and Jack break up (i think....?)
-
Clark gets a year-long subscription to the "Jelly of the Month" club
-
Pitt shoots Spacey anyway.
-
Pitt shoots Spacey anyway. (this is probably gonna double-post.)
-
But then return to make it a resort.
-
Animal becomes Boss Tweed 2.0
-
Mozart shoots his dad and joins the Texas Rangers.
-
Jules enjoys a tasty burger
-
Randy get a frickin zepplin (whoopee!)
-
Mahoney always wins.
-
But, it might all be a dying vision or it might be real - no one knows.
-
Captn Stillman is banished to research in the South Pole. Sgt Hulka and John get together for drinks and a Sunday BBQ
-
And the Directress is the Ancient Witch.
-
Stuart and Esperanza die a fiery death. Dulles re-opens. An old lady kicks Thornburg in the nuts.
-
Butch & Sundance die. Bonnie and Clyde die. The martians, it turns out, are allergic to being on Earth. Spock dies. Viggo Mortenson actually IS Joey.
-
And the first killer is the gay journalist.
-
Mar 13, 2007 12:13:58 PM CDT
SANDRA BULLOCK FALLS ON HER ASS AND IS CURED OF RACISM
by quinntheeskimo
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
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Johhny never gets his Two Dollars
-
Viggo Mortenson kills the fuck out of everybody, except his wife, who he just fucks the fuck out of.
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Mar 13, 2007 12:16:48 PM CDT
JAMES BOND GETS REPEATEDLY HIT IN THE BALLS WITH A ROPE
by quinntheeskimo
But you bet your ass he will return.
-
He gets the princess and they set Burani the genie free.
-
And Buddy Revell is one of the guys who buys stuff from the school store to help them rebuild and recover the stolen money.
-
He should be put in a body bag, nyeh-heh-heh-heh-heh
-
Is he still friends with Liz Perkins?
-
Bet you never saw that one coming.
-
THE TITANIC SINKS, even.
-
come back 3 more times
-
stoners rejoice
-
book five is my one of m fave book and looks like this movie is (at last) going to give it justice!
-
This is probably the most ridiculous thread collapse in the history of AICN. Ever.
Oh and I am stoked for Potter...sounds great -
I'm so happy you mentioned Dagon
-
that can't be explained with a few lines of dialogue in this movie. I wouldn't be surprised if they saved Harry's dad's history with Sirius and the "Marauders" for this movie... If they focus on Harry and Sirius' relationship in this movie (which would be compounded by explaining things that were unexplained in POA) it makes the ending *SPOILER* that much more heartbreaking. I think they may have intentionally left that info out of the POA movie so as to give Harry and Sirius more to discuss and a closer bond in the OOTP movie.
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Mischief. Mayhem. Soap.
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Not quite the ending, but close. Sly, whatcha doing smuggling hormones, you fool!
-
Kloipy, we Elder Ones gotta stick together, ya know? ;)
-
well, he is
-
And mirrors are dimensional portals.
-
not the ending, they just piss me off
-
Or something like that...
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but we are the true savages
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Mar 13, 2007 12:59:33 PM CDT
THE TECHNO-CORE LIVES WITHIN THE FARCASTER SYSTEM...
by hyperion consul
...as long as we're spoiling things.
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gotta love advance copies...
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Know it?
-
I am laughing my fanny off.
-
Star Wars Books?
-
his headless body fucks his zombie wife. winter is coming.
-
Go steve Go
-
dies in sewer
-
I mean, Lisa Bonet in "Angel Heart". Who the hell knows what he did in real life?
-
SLAP!
-
saves frodo
-
where's the TINO TINO TINO guy at these days?
-
Arthur and pals get back on the Heart of Gold. And the Infinite Improbability Drive effect turns into Douglas Adams' face.
-
isn't that what that movie was about?
-
on arbor day
-
Princess comes back with bad attitude
-
dad uses chainsaw
-
with each other
-
hiliarity ensues
-
AICN loyalists scarred for life...,
-
hiliarity still ensues
-
And, yeah - nine guys die.
-
And i know what happens at the end of Harry Potter series
-
stewie and keanu the dog boy
-
somebody owes us an apology for that movie.
-
Vincent Gallo hates everyone
-
and he's not gay (because it was still the 80s).
-
So they can actually show Umbridge being raped by the centaurs, or is it just implied, like in the book?
-
he went home to sleep with his wife
-
He goes home, he shoots his father. An' he runs away. An' - an' he joins the Texas- Rangers. How about that?
-
flys around with girl
-
hahahaha
-
Mr. Book is dead
-
Or something. I didn't really get Final Frontier.
-
Well he does, also Klompy has anyone told you yet that he dies in book 6 not 5.?
-
eats a whole ham
-
You can hardly tell during the film though.
-
I was just making that shit up anyhow
-
I get anal about stuff like that.
-
Just kidding
-
who saw that coming
-
and hyde does not meet his former partner in the hotel, but he does leave with the teenage hottie.
-
I love the cock, I was meaning that the thought of someone thinking poor Dumbledore met his seeming fate in this film and it had been cut would drive me mad though.
-
is that really right about the descent, i thought it was a load of gollums?, scary movie i thought.
-
but she also went crazy
-
You're a frakking douche.
-
I just gave it back to its owners after like 4 months at the weekend, I will have to buy it now. So where the gollums in her head then?
-
I can't remember
-
It's sitting in my freezer. I'm not sure who it belonged to, but it's all mine now.
-
I thought there was monsters as well as homicide.
-
TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO!
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Im not a betting dude, I will rewatch though not on my own, I watched signs on my own and nearly pissed myself.
-
cause you hear the monsters closing in on her in the end. UK version. and the other girls are with her when they are trying to get out, and getting killed. and the girl who has the crawler jump on her when she is hanging from the ceiling and she stabs it, that seems real to me. not sure though
-
Pound Sand, that one and "RICHARD DREYFUSS GETS ON SPACESHIP, INTERIOR IS DULL" left me in fuckin stitches. Maybe I'm just light-headed from not eating yet today, though.
-
Little Monsters get happy
-
I really wanna rewatch the descent now.
-
i guess the title says it all
-
At least I think so. Haven't seen the movie since I was 2 (thanks Disney), so it's a bit hard to remember.
-
Pres. Lyman busts Gen. Scott; Col. Casey ends the coup.
-
Does he go left? Does he go right? Stupid volleyball...
-
Jeffrey Jones is Satan
-
Midfucktacular.
-
i didn't even see him shed a tear
-
Marries Meg Ryan, breaks up with her, moves to Seattle, rinse, repeat...
-
Vows to rebuild slave-powered plantation.
-
It's just the same shit over and over and over. It started to get old after the one with the tri-wizard tournie, whichever that was. Thanks God this series is coming to an end.
-
dad wrestles my buddy doll
-
Honey Roy Palmer and Gabriel Caine win the whle fuckin' town from John Gillon.
-
Blair Witch made me carsick. I want two hours of my life back.
-
and we all got to see the three fakest looking tits ever. one was ground off after the film and carmen electra was born.
-
for shame.
-
Demon becomes a cat, Jagger and Richards get slightly richer on royalties...
-
Who knew?
-
Falcon and Hawk kiss and make-up
-
it was cool
-
twins still creepy
-
HOLY SCHNICKIES!
-
But doesn't come back *sniff*
-
Rex Kramer chased by Indians; wears two pairs of sunglasses.
-
too bad
-
30 years later he lobbies to have all the guns in that scene changed to walkie talkies.
-
Big John Slade to the rescue?
-
"Roger.""What?"
-
then I read the rest. Fuckin ET changes...was that change SO necessary? Please, Schpielberg.
-
didn't happen but it fucking should have
-
gets food poisoning from eatng the fish!
-
right?
-
Oh, wait, that movie hasn't been made yet
-
by cornering the market!
-
fuck that movie
-
Mostly bleeds...
-
Tay in da win
-
"i love the smell of napalm in the morning"
-
93 cars in 97 minutes. Yeah, go 1970s!
-
zzzzzzz
-
and proceeds to get typecast for the rest of his career...
-
"OPEN THE POD BAY DOORS, HAL"
-
you know it to be true
-
take it easy everyone
-
and later shits a live bird into Hermione's mouth, new slash genre is born.
-
Jack ends up in hotel painting!
-
BILLY BONG THORNTON
-
Not the bees!
-
I can't honestly recall much more of the plot...
-
...that's hilarious
-
EXPLODES
-
A new Harry Potter movie. Time to sit down and open a can of Who the Fuck Cares...
-
Buscemi sings at their wedding
-
Shooter gets ass beat in parking lot afterward by "Frankenstein".
-
bad guy accidently kills himself, hero stumbles into good lighting. fade out.
-
Sam Jackson yells alot. McCLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!
-
Man, I hated this movie when it came out
-
Eliza Dushku still hot.
-
no, but it should have
-
Mar 13, 2007 3:10:23 PM CDT
BRIAN CRUCIFIED; ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE
by ashesofdonnie
BIGGUS DICKUS
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and keith richard's is propped up in a corner somewhere with a old-timey guitar.
-
SECURITY MAN TO THE RESCUE!
-
Riot ensues, after which we all learn a little about humanity.
-
they really need to try harder to make the plants sound like real reviewers. come on, how stupid do you think we are......
-
Attica! Attica! Attica!
-
that dude that played Chase in 24 shoots Leo in the head. Then the fat black guy shows up and Chase shoots him in the head too. Then Matt Damon shoots Chase in the head and gets away. Until Marky Mark shows up at his apartment and shoots him in the head while he's saying something stupid like, "Okay..." The rat walks across the window sill. Roll credits.
-
Hooks up with girl twice his age, makes go go eyes at iceman.
-
Antonio Banderas hugs Denzel.
-
Ethan takes the bus home.
-
Will goes to space, Corey goes to VH1, Jerry gets skinny and marries a model, and River dies with a needle in his arm.
-
Jeanie gets a car and a nosejob.
-
Except Lea Thompson and the other guy. Somebody leaves a flag there.
-
First off LOTR started better FOTR was a good movie. The first two Harry Potter films were solid but amazing. But Harry Potter will end better than LOTR because that is a fact. ROTK was pretty bad have you tried watching it again, it's hard to not press the scene skipping button. Also it has over a dozen endings and Harry Potter will have one amazing one.
-
Is not a lesbian, marries a gay dude.
-
TETSUOOOOOO!
-
Fight the power.
-
Everyone dies. Horatio sounds the cannon.
-
stares through windows.
-
That's pretty much it.
-
someone else did a Do the Right thing one already, sorry
-
funny...she doesn't look druish!
-
He gets egg noodles with ketchup
-
Sherlock Holmes to be prosecuted as Nazi war criminal, talks dirty to Nell, who does a suprisingly good job of seeming to be badass without actually ever doing anything.
-
Ends up as her unborn son. Overly hyperactive sequel commences; one of the girls died and was brought back to life by cute HPLovecraftian mollusk-demon. (PS, I agree, "interior is dull" is my favorite spoiler so far... {lol!}{bow!})
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Orgy celebration interrupted with asskicking of the ingrates. Pharoah survives, repents, goes off to become king of Ninevah, leads city to God the first time a ridiculously unwilling prophet shows up. (Well, actually no, but that was one of the stories popular in 1stCE for explaining why Jonah was so successful, which makes a huge difference in what's being talked about in Rom 9, btw.)
-
Actually, that could be three or four movies...
-
F
MURRAY
ABRAHAM -
Or... was it? "Long live the king, baby..."
-
F CLEVELAND
-
This is the wife he divorces.
BABA BOOOEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
GLEN CLOSE IS NOT HOT
-
That was one of my favorite Tales From the Crypt episodes.
-
I couldn't resist. It just seems so fun. And some of these are quite funny.
-
HE DIES AT THE BEGINNING OF THE FILM
-
YOU BASTARDS!!!!
-
I LOVE THAT BIG PIANO
-
I CANT WAIT FOR THE SEQUEL
-
BABEL on.
-
APOCALYPTO WAS GREAT!
-
And Luke Wilson gets Alien.
-
And beach bums rejoice.
-
COLD MOUNTAIN WAS GOOD
-
And I'm still not sure if Joan of Arch was a dude or chick.
-
And I'm still not sure if Joan of Arch was a dude or chick.
-
And George Cloony Sees an opportunity to launch a career in a sequel.
-
Helen Mirren was hot at the oscars
-
Was there ever a greater reunite in film history?
-
AWWW
-
No, wait, that's every movie I have ever gone with him to since I was a kid.
-
Harry catch this one?
-
Why not?
-
Yeah, it stunk to high heavens. Horrible screenpaly, the thematic intent of the story was thrown out the window, character motivations were completely altered to create generic action-movie suspense, Dumbledore as portrayed in the script was completely at odds with the Dumbledore of the books and previous movies, the special effects and imagery were thoughtless and improperly lit, (how hard did you have to look at the screen to realize you were looking at the maze in the final task, a particularly embarrassing lapse of judgement), especially considering the material they had to work with, and nothing had any emotional impact. Basically, GOF failed in every aspect that the previous movie succeeded.
And in response to whoever it was above who said this, Rowling never acknowledged having writers block during the creation of Order of the Phoenix. She took a break in the middle of writing it to work on other projects. She DID suffer writers block during the creation of the 2nd book, Chamber of Secrets, and it shows. I personally have no problem with the length of OOTP, but maybe that's because I like to read. And as for Harry being whiny, um have you ever met a teenager? Add in "my parents were murdered by a sociopath". I think his CAPS LOCK phase was appropriate in terms of character development. Sure, a little trimming of the adverbs is called for, but as for plot, it was fast-paced and thematically intriguing so I don't what people are complaining about. But again, I enjoy reading as a regular pastime, so maybe that has something to with it. -
Oh wait. That isn't a movie. That's a dream I had after watching Beetlejuice back in high school.
-
TAKE THAT
-
Thank god for that.
-
Hey what the hell, I'm following the herd.
-
then eats Toby Maguire.
-
And they made a shit sequel where Gerard's buddy gets killed predictably by Robert Downey Jr.
-
underrate movie, about schmidt
-
Xerxes takes a shit afterwards.
-
But you have to see it to appreciate it.
-
THING STILL A ROCK...I wonder how he has sex with kerry washington?
-
And then Anne Archer shoots her!
-
Well...it did!
-
Too bad.
-
Monster marrys his ex, all are happy.
-
And Terri Garr stars in the shitty sequel, she gets around.
-
He would be great at weddings.
-
But then, that's not giving anything away, is it?
-
Well i am very busy in april so i cannot watch any movie.
so my answer was wrong. I should have said April-Very busy cannot watch any movie. -
I like that movie
-
Then goes back to the past, then goes waaaay back to the past, then goes back to the future again. Where's my fucking flying car, Zemeckis, you bitch?
-
MICHAEL MOORE IS A PROPHET.
-
SHOLAY
-
It was the PACs.
-
She no gotta eat no more.
-
They later discuss this over coffee
Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN! -
I think he weeps, anyway.
-
Ouch.
-
Dumb.
-
Worst...death...ever!
-
What a sheep.
-
9 more years.. Where are those hoverboards that Mattel has been hiding?
-
The World is not enough
-
AWW JACK JACK
-
Sad.
-
Mar 13, 2007 6:02:21 PM CDT
REDFORD AND NEWMAN SHOT BLANKS; THEY STUNG THE COP, TOO
by stallion_cornell
Great flick.
-
Sad.
-
HE writes Twelfth Night
-
Thats all
-
MMM im hungry
-
And Kreese likes it!
-
ITS A CYCLE OF VIOLENCE
-
...but land on planet that's 60% water and humid anyways.
I say this even though I liked Signs. Sad. -
or so I heard...true story.
-
Hey lady, stay away from the pool!!!
-
So no change for him really.
-
I think...
-
And so have I, my eyes are bleeding. So long.
-
And, I'm outta here for the day
-
considering it could have been nothing but straight out Potter-bitching. Much more fun, says I!
-
Did you guys all get out of school early today or what? Who in the world has the time to post this much nonsense ALL FREAKING DAY?
-
Too obscure?
-
You know what pisses me off is when people say they didnt like certain Harry Potter movies b/c they were too KIDDIE! WTF Harry Potter IS a CHILDREN'S SERIES! Go to barnes and Nobles and u will find Harry Potter in the CHILDREN SECTION! STOP COMPLAINING about them. If you dont like them dont read them and COMMENT ON A HARRY POTTER PAGE! The 3-5 movies are all dark and unlike the books. Since when in any of the books did Dumbledore ever ran at harry and get mad at Harry like in the 4 movie. Ill tell ya NEVER! I LOVE THE BOOKS! So if your like 40 and ya dont like them that is probaly cause there CHILDREN'S BOOKS! grow the fuck up.
-
Yeah!
-
Charlie Brown is such a tool.
-
now I Know the history of 20th century film.
-
It's Chinatown, Jake.
-
Little kid/pretty girl/grateful populace plead with him to come back.
-
That's it. That's the whole movie.
-
But doesn't know it.
-
So she goes and screws his college roomate and his boss. Somehow they end up together. Also, skyscrapers are built.
-
That's what happens, then Harry is killed by Venom in a big *shock* moment. The final scene is Peter with Gwen Stacey and the prospect of a new life (which we'll never see 'cause Raimi and Maguire are out for 4). One more thing, all these spoilers for other flicks and the big spoilers for Order Of The Phoenix aren't posted. That's maybe because a lot of people know what happens anyhow through reading the book or reading past spoilers? Also, why are these 'reviews' just a douche saying what happens in the movie? Give a fucking critique you morons. Anyway, Voldemort wants to hear the full Prophecy that was made 15 years ago (by Professor Trelawney) which was about Harry and him and how Harry is the one born to challenge the Dark Lord. He originally only heard half of it. Because Voldemort can't just walk into the Ministry of Magic and take the Prophecy (it's sort of stored in a glass ball along with thousands of other balls) he tries to trick Harry into going and taking the ball himself by giving him an image of Sirius being tortured at the Ministry. Only the people involved with the Prophecy can take the ball (that's why Voldemort can't just get one of his followers to steal it). The Death Eaters wait for Harry to pick it up then they appear and demand he gives them the ball, but the young wizards, now all trained up by Harry and ready to kick unholy ass with spells, fight the Death Eaters and escape into a room where there's an archway with a weird black veil in it which leads to...the afterlife(??). Sirius (Harry's Godfather, not uncle), Lupin and all the other adult wizards arrive to help but Bellatrix Lestrange KILLS Sirius by blasting him into the strange veil which flutters and he disappears into death (the 'Deathly Hallows'??). Harry goes crazy, as you would, and runs after Bellatrix who leads him to the main hall where Voldemort is waiting to get the Prophecy (which, unfortunately, has smashed!). Voldemort taunts Harry a bit but then Dumbledore arrives - the only one Voldemort ever feared. They duel (should be impressive in the movie) and Dumbledore casts a huge spell which we don't know what it does, it's speculated it's to try and remove Voldemort's power, but Voldemort still blocks it anyway with a huge shield spell, then Voldemort posesses Harry and...then it gets confusing, but the Minister for Magic arrives and sees Voldemort, proving once and for all that he's back, then Voldemort leaves (I'd say he just leaves rather than 'escapes'). Later, Dumbledore finally tells Harry the truth. It was prophecised that he would be born to challenge the Dark Lord and 'neither can live while the other survives' which means either Voldemort or Harry (or both...) must kill the other, it's fate. Harry is officially screwed. And fuck all you Whedonite masturbators.
-
Racism sucks and what the hell have I started in this thread? Wowzers!!!
-
and chases the bullies into a dumpster.
-
You know what, I was just about to spoil the twist ending to FRAILTY, then I came to my senses. Great talkback, but let's not go too far...
-
Ah...Follow the tide. Oh, and he can't hear the music at sunrise anymore, so he goes into the water and....end???
-
Chamber of Hermione's Secrets...???
-
Eeeks...Talk about the devil in the details.
-
Mar 13, 2007 10:45:08 PM CDT
JOE PANTOLIANO BETRAYS THEM ALL FOR A SIMULATED TASTE..
by wickedmonster
...of STAKE!!!
WTF?? -
Hell, I could have settled for the same woman with the fish tail...and make mer-babies.
-
ride into the sunset and humperdink lives (miserably)
-
Mar 13, 2007 10:50:58 PM CDT
ROBIN WILLIAMS COMES BACK FROM JUMANJI, IN LEAF UNDIES
by wickedmonster
Okay...That was weird!!
-
Monster House...was cool!
-
So this is what it means by a talkback meltdown...Its been fun!
-
And they feed off of nitrogen.
-
And he gets electrocuted on a scaffold.
-
You know what I mean.
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Not too obscure, but I already did it. Didn't remember the names though. So good job on that one.
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Arrgh, every fucking time! I can understand him being underutilized in 'Chamber of Secrets.' The several cool moments he had in 'Prisoner of Azkaban' mitigates the fact that his frosty relationship with Harry's father and Sirius was barely addressed. But I was incredibly disappointed that they practically glossed over his entire subplot in 'Goblet of Fire.' The line about Snape being a former Death Eater was spat out so fast that I suspect most people unfamiliar with the books didn't even catch it, or at least not its significance. They certainly didn't catch the mortal danger he placed himself in by refusing to return to Voldemort's side, which was stated explicitly in the book but completely ignored in the film. He's on deck to kill Dumbledore in 'Half-Blood Prince' and at this rate there's hardly any evidence in the films for the audience to understand the complexity of that decision ("Complexity? It's freaking Harry Potter!"). How fortuitous that Cuaron filmed Snape throwing himself in front of that werewolf in order to protect the kids or you'd hardly even suspect that he was capable of good deeds. Eh, whatever.
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why the hell is this franchise so popular? the only people that like this shit are most probably nonces.
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why the hell does he think his opinions are popular. only people who cant read and have no imagination are probably nonces. And lets face it, pal, you can probably barely read the terms of your ASBO or your signing on card, lol.
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Max Von Sydow is dead....or is he!
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and gets threatened with prison. But nothing really happens to him.
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why the hell does he even bother posting? The only people who post nothing worthwhile are scumbags.Ribbons - I agree with you as with others who have mentioned the lack of Snape in the movies. To ignore such a crucial character in terms of his impact on others is pretty ridiculous.
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and they escape the Labyrinth
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and his "Rad" BMX racing leaves a mark in all of our hearts
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while Dante gets high
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..is not funny. Fucking 13 year old zit-addled humor. Spencer's Gifts joke t-shirt humor. Did you THINK that was funny, council? Do you think YOU'RE funny? Nonce.
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For fuck's sake... I'd like to talk about the movie. Not watch a bunch of people trying to one up each others "clever" uber-spoilers.
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i'm just merely someone sharing my opinion thats all. no need to act all crazy, and start hating on me. i'm simply not a fan of this franchise. it could be improved drastically, thats all i'm saying. now behave, the lot of ya, and get some thicker skins. most of ya wouldn't last 5 minutes on my estate. oh, and by the way i've only ever had 3 asbos- thats nothin' to be proud of. my best mate has had 9.
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Where the hell is the new Lost Talk Back?
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Good behavior is never encouraged on these TB's....now then, I do agree that the movies have been less than stellar. It just seems that they missed the major points that they should have included.You mean you don't have guided tours of your estate?
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SPOILED!
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this shit has been cracking me up all morning
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yeah. i'm from a rough london council estate, so i talk a bit harsh and to the point. if i dont like something you'll know about it. but i'm passionate about me films and i gotta lot to say about them.
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short circuit
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i'm gonna keep em comin
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the human project
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probably
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men in tights
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ghosts playing baseball
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rita hayworth
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office space
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TMNT
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Samuel L. implores the bitch to "be cool", also doesn't consider a dog to be filthy animal, definitely dirty though
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you aint talkin about pothead? you're crazy. at least offer some opinions like i did. jeez mate. nuva thing i wanna say is that Radcliff is getting a bit old to play pothead. wozee gonna be in the last film? 30? leave it aaht
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Oh, and everyone gets baptized.
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i would imagine that neither of you, if you are indeed two people, are strangers to being called complete cunts, are you?
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Didn't Return of The King win 12 oscars? how many has a harry potter films won so far?
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But he certainly reads like one. I am not someone to scream plant, but that just sounded like a sponsored review.
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I tip my hat to your Revenge of the Nerds spoiler from yesterday. Well done. I also liked the Linus/Great Pumpkin one.
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They are all great, but not perfect. And I do believe the first to be the best and the third to be the most lacking. But they do not suck and they adapt, possibly, the most difficult literary work yet tackled with great respect and delicacy. Watching the three extended cuts back to back (even over a weekend) is a pretty damn incredible experience.
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The riddle of steel turns out to be bullshit. That's Crom, laughing on his mountain.
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or it gets the hose again
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The preachers daughter gets half the money.
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The bail bondsman doesn't wash his hands.
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Smokey goes to rehab
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Rebecca killed herself, we never get the second Mrs. Dewinter's name.
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Ol' Dog cries. They shoulda thrown away that tape.
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You got the juice now, Q.
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Another three hours I'll never get back.
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And we never find out what nastiness was in the woodshed.
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Ali Larter avoid prison
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It was about you all along, Ray
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Also, Indy couldn't blow it up, because it WAS history.
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Barbara Streisand's name is a word of power, like Muad'dib
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The title is not joking
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Nice Try
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But it's ok because they switched the crop report
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I'm sorry your mom's a nympho
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and he talked JUST... LIKE... THIS
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IN ORDER TO GENERATE SYMPATHY FOR NABOO AND ENCOURAGE A NO-CONFIDENCE VOTE IN CHANCELLOR VALORUM SO THAT HE COULD THEN ASCEND TO THE CHANCELLORSHIP
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They were made by a Pontiac Tempest. And since both were made by GM they were both available in metallic mint green paint.
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And not ONE...ONE I say...description of how Emma Watson is looking?!?!
F**k! Whats WRONG with you people!!! -
in the store room
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DEBBIE DOES DALLAS
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PALPATINE IS THE SITH LORD
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BISHOP IS AN ANDROID
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THERE IS NO SPOON
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I'M SPARTACUS
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DOGS CAN'T LOOK UP
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PESKY KIDS RUIN EVIL SCEAM
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MAGGIE SHOT MR. BURNS
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just busting thy cajones... frankly I'm surprised, or impressed, that this is still going strong today!
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at it. See'in what he did to Transformers. what with Bay and all. We'd probably end up with Troy in the gang and he'd end up getting Andy in the end or something fucked up like that. Troy, he's such a cheap guy!
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TANGO GETS FUBARED
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Wait...
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music makes me cry, laugh.
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so do I
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Would you like to play a game?
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LAME
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AUNTIE SHREW STILL A YENTA
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DANCE THE MAMUSHKA!
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AUSTEN AND LIZ HURLEY HAVE A NAKED BREAKFAST.
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Mark finally nails Carla. It's all a dream.
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Damn you, Michael Dennis Bay! TINO!!!
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Everyone gets shot.
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Redneck makes him squeal like a pig.
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Big Chief Shit-in-a-bucket busts out a window with a water fountain and hauls ass.
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Dirty fucking Russian.
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Dude goes to look for a cash machine.
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Whew! That was close!
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He was after Seamus.
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Eric Bana kills the dirty bastards that did it.
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Becomes hero of Soviet Union.
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French cunt stiffs him.
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Gets fucked in the ass by a bull.
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Lives in Shaun's shed and plays video games.
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He dies anyway.
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So much for old time hockey. Eddie Shore weeps.
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Plane leaves. Usual suspects rounded up.
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With a lawn mower blade.
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Marries broad that wore a rubber glove to administer a handjob.
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Marshmallow Man is toast.
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Could have fucked an eastern European hottie but he prematurely ejacualted.
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Constantly.
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Not counting Dante.
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what the hell are you on about, son. you're acting like a complete wanker. stop fucking up these boards with your wierd shit, you c**t. you're starting to piss me off now, you deformed c**t.
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and they mostly come out at night...mostly.
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i just speak my mind, fellas. i wanna read film chat not wierd stuff like that geeza was posting.
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...and gets cancelled!
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..and children start crying all over the place...
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...all you can do it sit back and enjoy the ride or just stop coming. Just my experience (thus I often join in. Maybe that makes be a deformed cunt, I don't know?)It's cool to speak your mind though.
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or just get bored and stop coming around?
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why the hostility?
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because, as amusing as this with the older films, you guys are ruining some of the more recent ones for us outside the USA. Number 23 was one i was really looking forward to seeing, and it has not made it too far from the USA as of yet. not some twat has gone and given a massive & without warning spoiler on it that makes it pointless watching the film once you know what happens. i am all for a joke, but come on man, can't people here have the decency to respect the fact that not all film fans get to see the new stuff within minutes of release?
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then why did you read every single post in this message board? there was no spoiler warning necessary since nearly every one of the over 700 posts in this talkback are spoilers, a fact that you obviously knew. Besides, i saved you some time, because 23 sucked ass. stop being a pussy
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Mister Memory had the aircraft plans all along.
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for SPOILER reasons. My only complaint was that Jim Carrey was in it. hey-zeus.........
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Hi Moriarty,
Great review. Why would anyone call you a stupid fucko anyway?
You didn't really give away any spoilers in your review, at least not to anyone who read the book. Thanks again for the interesting review. -
In his long-lost brother's head. That last Star Trek movie. Oh yeah, and the bad guy is Picard's younger clone.
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This one's been hashed out a bit. But I thought you ought to know about the suicide.
I dunno why this little spoiler game amuses me so. All I know is that I have to join in. -
Everybody's saying the boat sank, but everyone forgot the plot!
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The Prestige. Hope you've seen it.
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Hey Drath, are you hearing me? Man, the end of that movie sucked balls.
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The Illusionist. There's another new one I hope you've seen. And if you haven't, why are you reading these? How stoopid are you, anyway?
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Turner & Hooch.
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So she won't have to be lifted out by crane. What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
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Austin Powers in Goldmember.
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Chick Gelfling dies, but gets brought back. Land is pretty again. (The Dark Crystal)
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