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Published on Friday, March 9, 2007 - 10:47am |
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Capone Oggles Sweaty Men In Leather Diapers & Loves 300!!
Hey everyone. Capone in Chicago here.
Two films I've been desperate to tell you about since last year are finally being released this week. One is THE HOST (see my separate review). The other, I saw in December at Butt Numb-a-Thon 8 in Austin. Director Zack Snyder (who made the well-done DAWN OF THE DEAD remake) was on hand after the screening and told us the film still needed some minor tweaking (mostly color correction and other things most civilians wouldn't even see as unfinished). When I re-watched 300 more recently, I didn't notice any real difference, but it was a good opportunity for me to judge whether the stunning visuals I remembered so clearly were simply hiding a run-of-the-mill sword-and-sandals tale, or if there was really some substance to this graphic and sensual tale of a small group of Spartan warriors fighting off the Persian masses who attempted to enslave the world one nation at a time. Glory be, this movie kicked even more shapes and sizes of ass on my second go-round, setting the bar ridiculously high for genre films in 2007.
First off, there's a great deal of yelling in 300. In fact, more than 50 percent of the dialogue is uttered at a raised volume (you probably gleaned that from the trailers). I thought this would bother me more than it did, but it actually heightened my overall interest in the goings on. Based on the Frank (SIN CITY) Miller graphic novel (which I'm totally unfamiliar with), the film tells the bloody and savage tale of 300 men against more than 100,000 at the battle of Thermopylae. Why did Sparta only send 300 men? Actually, Sparta didn't. The corrupt Spartan government (exemplified by Dominic West) refused to send an army to challenge the Persian hordes. So King Leonidas (Gerard Butler of PHANTOM OF THE OPERA and TOMB RAIDER 2 fame, but don't hold that against him) defied the city elders and soothsayers by hand picking 300 "bodyguards" to accompany him on a long walk. Clever fellow, that Leonidas. What follows is almost solid sweaty, gory, clever and, above all, brutal battles.
By using some choice digital effects, director Snyder is not content to allow his sword and spear battles to look like those before. In almost every instance, you see swords go into bare chests. These guys aren't using bulky clothes and tricky camera angles to simulate weapon penetration. This is meant to look about as real as anything I've seen on screen, which is ironic since so little else about the film is meant to look like it even takes place in this world. Much like the textures and colors from a graphic novel, the skies and landscapes of 300 appear more like idealized planetscapes of some far off world. Many of the battle sequences are done in slow motion, so you don't miss a single lost limb or drop of blood. Even skin tones seem art directed by a painter. The visual backgrounds don't take away from the story. If anything, they add an archetypal feel to everything in this movie. It takes your breath away and absolutely demands that you see the film more than once, just to admire the craftsmanship.
For all its savagery, 300 also has its moments of sensuality. Leonidas' wife, Queen Gorgo, is a stone-cold honey played by Lena Headey (known more for her work in lighter fare on film; she's also set to play the title role on "The Sarah Connor Chronicles" TV series). While Leonidas is gone, Gorgo must do what she can to protect Sparta from its own politicians. Heady's performance is fierce and sexy, and I would very much like her to tie me down and punish me for whatever. One of the stranger characters is the towering Persian king himself, Xerxes (Brazilian actor Rodrigo Santoro, who occasionally shows up on "Lost" as Paulo), who believes he is a god and wears as much jewelry as any god I've ever seen. It's a bizarre but unforgettable performance.
It's safe to say that 300 is unlike anything you've ever seen before, with portions based soundly in reality and other sections seemingly ripped right out of some great lost fantasy novel. It exists in its own universe and will leave you utterly in awe of the story it tells. Snyder's command of the visuals (with more than a little help from Miller's source material, undoubtedly) shows a confidence I would not have expected and leaves me hopeful that he is the right man for the job to bring Alan Moore's WATCHMEN Watchmen graphic novel to the screen. This film is opening on IMAX screens this week as well; I'm drooling just thinking about it.

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Reader Talkback
FIST!!! oh and the rhino scene
in 300 by AvengingFist | Mar 9th, 2007 09:56:18 AM | big gay romp! by redfishbluefish | Mar 9th, 2007 09:59:47 AM | im so excited some poo just
came out my ass by firstislast | Mar 9th, 2007 10:08:17 AM | whatever happened... by kwisatzhaderach | Mar 9th, 2007 10:15:21 AM | If I get a hard on thinking
about 300, am I gay? by Jackie Boy | Mar 9th, 2007 10:19:23 AM | OMG THE SOUNDTRACK :O:O:O by Evil Hobbit | Mar 9th, 2007 10:33:08 AM | To all those who think seeing
this film makes you gay: by gamerawangi | Mar 9th, 2007 10:56:29 AM | Whoops! Let's try that link
again... by gamerawangi | Mar 9th, 2007 10:59:12 AM | Whatever... by gamerawangi | Mar 9th, 2007 11:01:27 AM | This movie is gay by rev_skarekroe | Mar 9th, 2007 11:39:00 AM | Okay... by gamerawangi | Mar 9th, 2007 12:01:03 PM | did someone just say we live
in the real world? by firstislast | Mar 9th, 2007 12:02:14 PM | Oh, and redfishbluefish... by gamerawangi | Mar 9th, 2007 12:05:36 PM | I personally think many of the
TB including Rev... by JBouganim | Mar 9th, 2007 12:56:51 PM | I'm sure the rev has friends by gamerawangi | Mar 9th, 2007 01:02:31 PM | redfishbluefish by Darth Hater | Mar 9th, 2007 01:14:03 PM | i thought that was kind of the
point.... by redfishbluefish | Mar 9th, 2007 01:40:39 PM | 300 THE SEQUEL!!!! by Anino | Mar 9th, 2007 01:50:41 PM | gamerawangi & JBouganim by rev_skarekroe | Mar 9th, 2007 03:30:36 PM | Bringsexyback, it's OK by Anino | Mar 9th, 2007 03:32:23 PM | hahaha gamer you see this by JBouganim | Mar 9th, 2007 03:55:59 PM | Hey, Rev! Don't know about
JBouganim... by gamerawangi | Mar 9th, 2007 04:37:32 PM | Oh, and another thing rev: by gamerawangi | Mar 9th, 2007 04:52:50 PM | new SPIDERMAN VENOM trailer by iwontwin | Mar 9th, 2007 04:55:45 PM | Why all the Ain't It Cool love
for this move? by rbatty024 | Mar 9th, 2007 05:07:24 PM | We get to see Venom grab
Spiderman... by rbatty024 | Mar 9th, 2007 05:09:18 PM | Just watched it by Ben Hawkins | Mar 9th, 2007 06:42:38 PM | Spear through the stomach,
spear through the chest, by AlwaysThere | Mar 9th, 2007 07:52:42 PM | i saw the midnite showing by the_shogun_gunslinger | Mar 9th, 2007 08:33:28 PM | "Oggles" isn't a word.
"Ogles" is. by Some Dude | Mar 9th, 2007 09:02:33 PM | "Spear through the stomach,
spear through the chest," by gamerawangi | Mar 9th, 2007 09:24:36 PM | Indeed... by Quintus_Arrius | Mar 9th, 2007 09:44:41 PM | It kicked ass. by cerebulon | Mar 9th, 2007 10:42:56 PM | Even gay people need their
Braveheart by AvengingFist | Mar 9th, 2007 11:16:23 PM | SEE THE IMAX IF YOU CAN, TRUST
ME by NoPIX | Mar 10th, 2007 12:50:56 AM | you know how I know you're
gay? by Retrace | Mar 10th, 2007 01:57:52 PM | $27,800,000 DAY ONE BO
TOTALS ! by Mace Tofu | Mar 10th, 2007 06:00:12 PM | Of course it's the BO king by gamerawangi | Mar 10th, 2007 07:05:37 PM | Saw it Last Night... by scidog1968 | Mar 10th, 2007 11:41:49 PM | How come 300 soldiers seemed
like 20 on the screen? by GibsonUSA Returns | Mar 11th, 2007 12:26:01 AM | Yeah, all that spurting blood
looks real purty... by Zeke25:17 | Mar 11th, 2007 03:40:56 AM | Straight guys biggest fear? by mazet | Mar 11th, 2007 11:37:59 AM | Time difference between IMAX
and regular reel??? by trenee1977 | Mar 11th, 2007 01:41:15 PM | great visuals, little else by bib fortuna | Mar 11th, 2007 06:51:42 PM | Come on, People..... by scidog1968 | Mar 11th, 2007 08:18:06 PM | I wonder what these nerds are
like in the theater..? by GibsonUSA Returns | Mar 11th, 2007 09:35:28 PM | WHY can't we expect Spartacus? by Sepulchrave | Mar 12th, 2007 09:47:20 AM | Oh and you are all
hummersexuals by Sepulchrave | Mar 12th, 2007 09:49:05 AM | last! by Quintus_Arrius | May 16th, 2007 07:59:46 AM | ...to sleep with your mummy! by Quintus_Arrius | May 20th, 2007 03:05:02 PM |
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