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A PATHFINDER Review From South Of The Border!!
SPOILER ALERT !!
Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here.
Evidently, commas and hyphens are discounted profoundly in Mexico, and for some reason, Fox thinks that Mexicans are more interested in Native Americans-versus-Vikings than anyone else. Put those two oddball ideas together, and you get this early look at Marcus Nispel’s latest attempt at coherence.
Hi,guys.Down here, south of the border, Pathfinder already opened and I just watched it, so I figured Id give you something of a quick, spoiler-light review before it opens up there-the imdb lists April 20 as the american release date-,since Ive not read much about it in the site.
As you know-Im guessing-Pathfinder is the native-americans-against-vikings movie with the poster resembling a Frank Frazzeta paperback cover. And a native-americans-against-vikings movie is what it is,talk about high-concept. The movie is directed by Marcus Nispel,better known-and loathed- by angst-ridden geeks all over America as the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake helmer. I personally didnt find that one all that offensive and he comes off even better with this one, although I must clarify that Id come into the theater thoroughly ready to hate the thing,so my expectations were not all that optimistic (not all that existent I should probably say). He doesnt try to dig any deeper down that very simple central idea, either, and in the end it becomes clear that was the right thing to do.
The first of the three very clearly defined acts is not only hands-down the best but it also managed to hurl me back to John Milius's Conan's own first third, unable as I was to disassociate the snowy,wild yet beautiful imagery from the Robert E.Howard iconography. Here,we are presented with an orphaned viking boy, last survivor of an apparently first invasion try-out, stranded in an unknown continent and taken in by a kind native woman to be raised as one of her own (this is one of those where, if you saw the trailer, you saw the whole picture already, hence my upcoming scarce attention at plot-detailing).
We then fast-forward fifteen years and the boy has become Karl Urban (the hero who kills the Rock in Doom). We meet the love interest-the stunning Moon Bloodgood (Eight Below)-,the dashing warrior who keeps throwing him threatening glances, and the wise father who wont let him become a full member of their circle until he can figure out by himself who he really is, all of this with a very appreciated minimum of dialogue, which is a constant all throughout the movie. Then, the shit hits the fan and it doesnt stop splattering until the end: the vikings arrive, wipe out the viking-american's village, kill his parents, and after some fighting and chasing he's on the loose.
Act 2 is the weakest, although I suscribe it to the murky lighting pervading most of it (it takes place almost entirely in caves and by night) rather than to sloppy plotting, which, as I already said, is almost nonexistent-and I dont mean it in a bad way. However, the movie is not all that long (a swell hour and half) and before I could get really antsy,the climactic last half hour arrived, delivering a nice cliffhanger sequence (literally), with all the lead villains following Urban and the girl up the narrow cliff around a snow-laden mountain, tied-up one to another.
The movie feels like a story made up by turns around a campfire in a boy-scout trip, helplessly episodic but good-natured, firmly rooted in the most classical tradition of adventure storytelling. The screenplay is by Laeta Kalogridis, James Cameron's latest writing darling (she is writing both Battle Angel and Dive for Cameron to direct), and this is, after Nightwatch (the russian supernatural mess), and Alexander (the Oliver Stone epic), easy her best work. There is almost no dialogue and that works because there is no need for it-the movie was its original pitch, for sure, and it cleverly concerns merely with visually displaying it. Also,I dont think I caught any but a couple of character names during the actual film, even though they are fully listed during the end credits, and I thanked that, particularly in a movie like this, which could have been crammed full with beauties like "Fucks-with-no-condom" and "Wears-bearskin-panties".
The action is fast-paced, with some original touches uncommon for a period piece every now and then, like using a viking shield as a bobsled, and the final scene in the mountain, which resembles a set-piece in Cliffhanger, or an addendum to the hanging bridge sequence in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
Should you go see this flick? If you like old-fashioned adventure movies,yes,you should. If you are expecting genre-conventions-breaking or, at the very least, some Moon Bloodgood's- ass-pounding, then you better skip it for, unfortnately, there is none of those.
Regardless,I liked it,all right. From south of the border,where you can drink margaritas and court señoritas, I am Henry Darger.
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Reminds me a lot of "The 13th Warrior," which was a much better film than it got credit for being.
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maybe?
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Expect my review friday :)
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From the trailer it looks like the most unoriginal piece of crap ever! I saw bare-faced rip offs from Gladiator, Braveheart and, in particular, Willow, which also did the 'shield bobsled' thing.
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All self-respecting geeks know the Horse Master Eomer. Did enough people see Doom to know who the reviewer meant? lol. The best bit of Doom was Urban shooting shit at the end (the bit that looked just like the game). An entire movie of that may just have worked, but otherwise is was just a bad, bad movie. Enjoyed the trailer for this, could be good. I enjoyed the !3th warrior. If its in tone to that it could be good.
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It's high time for a decent Viking movie! 13th Warrior was OK, it had its moments and a couple of genuine Scandinavian actors, but it wasn't quite satisfying enough. I'm looking forward to Nicolas Winding Refn's Valhalla Rising, starring the lovely Mads Mikkelsen, which also does the 'Vikings in America' thing and sounds quite promising, if a little weird.
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Vaguely remember a bit in a reputable publication - Variety? LATimes? - where someone claimed that Nispel was a James-Cameron-esque-douchebag - would send out a list of demands to producers that included such egotistical inanities as when he was to be picked up at the airport, he had to be met by an attractive woman with a sign saying "Man with enormous cock" and that the below the line talent were not to speak to him unless spoken to. Or maybe it was Bobby Brown. Can't remember which.
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13th Warrior was a great adventure romp; the only problem I had was with the pansies at Paramount deciding they didn't want to name it "Eaters of the Dead" per the Michael Crichton novel.
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Always liked the bit when Antonios character learns their language bu listening by the campfire. As the scene progressed you could hear more English words coming threw. Always thought it was clever.
Seems we are both suckers for epic and historic hacking-of-limbs. Both the Rome talkback and here, lol. See you at the Milnius Conan sequel TB!!!!! -
I love that movie and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Although I admit, I would have prefered the name Eaters of the Dead. That being said, I hope Pathfinder is good. I havent heard of Valhalla Rising, but I will keep a look-out for it now.
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Maybe we should keep an eye out for "Maelstrom: The Movie" from the EPCOT ride. Gotta love that troll that pops out halfway through. Hey Tigh, I look forward to that TB - maybe someone will know the answer to the RIDDLE OF STEEL.
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Here's a small article on Valhalla Rising if you're interested:
http://tinyurl.com/3eyzos
It's pretty obscure, I've only heard of it because of my Scandinavian leanings...
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Here's a couple of short pages on Valhalla Rising if you're interested:
http://tinyurl.com/3eyzos
http://tinyurl.com/3buqsm
It's pretty obscure, I've only heard of it because of my Scandinavian leanings...
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Sorry for the double post. I thought my computer had crashed and it seems it hadn't. Doh!
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But this will do the trick well enough, I think? How's the violence, though? Originally this was being advertised with a PG-13 rating, but now it's R. I have ZERO interest in seeing a PG-13 version, but if it's got blood, guts, and dismemberment, I'm there.
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Really underrated flick, I wish there was a chance of getting an extended and/or director's cut on DVD after how much it was cut down and fucked with.
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...to disassociate the snowy,wild yet beautiful imagery from the Robert E.Howard iconography." ....... Oh, fuck OFF!! Leafy bastard.
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Your brilliant plan to fool us by screwing up your punctuation would have worked a lot better if you had skipped the florid prose and had actually written like someone who doesn't know how to use a comma or a hyphen. Just try not to use "da booooooooooomb!!!" as someone already did once to much ridicule.
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that's funny
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Mar 07, 2007 12:59:33 PM CST
We'll never see a proper Conan while the Governator
by col. tigh-fighter
still rules. Thirteenth!!
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because this plant is weak.
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is considered a plant here...sigh
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THIS...IS..SPARTA!!
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...got at least enough brain, patience and drive to review a movie, while others are just too stupid, lazy or ignorant to do anything else than bitching around! Back to topic: The trailer looks sweet but there´s surely not a big chance for success on the box-office, while the other epic action-adventure "300" is hitting the cinemas. "Pathfinder" just looks too shallow and cheap compared to that flic!
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For no discernable reason I picked up the comic adaptation of this, and I have to say that it has the most beautiful comic artwork I've ever seen. The story is nonsense but Christopher Shy's art is spectacular.
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I have to say that was a pretty effective review. I feel like I know exactly what the movie is like and what to expect and can make an informed decision. I especially appreciate the heads-up about the absence of Blood Moongood getting ass-pounded. That made my decision for me. Thank you.
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Why is the states getting these films later? And the US is not even getting DOA: Dead or Alive?? WTF? DOA happens to be the best PG-13 T&A movie ever!@
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I couldn't get very far into this review before my brain exploded.
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Caught a screening QUITE some time ago. It was supposed to come out like last September, I believe. It was pretty wretched. He goes from lost viking boy to kick-ass indian with no training montage or anything. At least the cut I saw. I complained about it for sure on the focus group form.
If I recall, he's pretty badass when using a Viking sword. Not really sure why he would still use that sword, the indians would probably train him in the use of THEIR weapons.
Oh, and all the Indians have modern-day California accents.
The only good thing was the free movie ticket—I've been to a lot of free screenings and you know people aren't interested when they call the day before with a free ticket offer.
Karl Urban is pretty cool, but this movie was just bad. Totally forgettable or I would have more to say. I love that this dude says it has original touches and then goes to list all the parts lifted from other movies.
I DID really like the 13th Warrior. Good to see that some folks above also enjoyed it. It's kind of a guilty pleasure. Vikings are badasses.
Oh you know, the BEST thing about the flick was the gnarly Viking costumes. Real cool. -
I put in carriage returns but they didn't show up. Kind of talk-back noob (once every 5 years). What's the deal?
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The Pathfinder came out in Russia some time ago. Personally I thougt it was so boring that I actually regretted coming to the theater. Full of cliches and unoriginal, this film does not represent any interest, even as a pop-corn action movie. Karl Urban is not ready yet to carry a whole movie on his shoulders. There is hardly any acting from him or any other actor in the film. It's violent, sombre and slow. Also I didn't like the lighting - the whole movie looks desaturated. What's more, it is filled with exagerations for the sake of being more impressive (swiming in ice-water, taking out tens of vikings all by himself, Every time a viking jumps in the frame we hear a strange and inhuman scream as if it's not a guy but some kind of monster..)
In my opinion, this film is not worth bothering to watch it.
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