I am – Hercules!!


And I am not a big fan of the soaps! Never could be bothered with “Dallas” or “Dynasty.” Bored to tears by “Desperate Housewives.” Ditto “90210.” “Melrose Place” corralled into its cast some of the most beautiful women ever birthed, but the words – the words coming out of the hot girls’ mouths were so stale and clichéd and idiotic I could not stand to watch more than five minutes at a time.

I even liked Kevin Volchok, Caleb Nichol and Oliver Trask. Mostly because his name is almost Boliver Trask. You heard me!

The club where all the underage kids hung out was called The Bait Shop!!

This show also gave us Chrismukkah, which kicks Festivus hinder.

Tonight’s finale is said to be set six months in the future. I love that. I think all series finales should jump ahead in time. Let us know how everything turned out, “American Graffiti”-style.

I think my two favorite characters, Seth and Summer, are marrying.

I’m wrong a lot.

9 p.m. Thursday. Fox.