I am – Hercules!!

“L-Prime,” a Canadian, gets to see “Studio 60” on Sunday, even if it’s a Super Bowl Sunday:

What’s it called?
“The Harriet Dinner, Part II”

Who’s responsible?
Story by Mark Goffman and Dana Calvo, teleplay by — who else? — Sorkin.

What does TV Guide say?
“Conclusion. Harriet is feted with a special dinner, but things continue to fall apart with Matt, while above the event, Jordan and Danny spend time locked on the roof.”

What is TV Guide not telling us?
That easily as much time is devoted again to Tom and Kim, Cal dealing with a menagerie under his stage, Simon and Darius continuing their feud, and Jack coming in and trying to salvage the Macao deal when Tom inevitably screws up.

Nya-hah, your show’s getting shelved!
Yeah. Great. Much as I might be a bit of a booster of this show, this would upset me even if I weren’t. If I have to choose between series’ by two Hollywood-types with inflated senses of self-importance, I take Sorkin over Paul Haggis eight billion days a week. The creator of The West Wing, or the creator of Walker, Texas Ranger? Hmm … lemme think about this. Doy.

So, are the romances as prominent as last week?
Matt and Harriet have some decent, mature discussions with real consequences, Danny and Jordan … develop, Tom and Lucy at least don’t go in the toilet, so yeah, I’d say romance is still front and centre.

Cal as delightful as before?
Best part of the episode, if I might say so myself. Much as I like the actual meat of the series (ie: heady discussions of media/entertainment, romantic entanglements), Timothy Busfield driven to distraction by a laidback animal wrangler and stubborn vipers, ferrets and coyotes is endlessly amusing.

About the whole ‘part what of what’ confusion?
This one says ‘conclusion’, but still doesn’t feel finished. More wrap-up than last week (obviously) though. We end on a decent note of uncertainty about how a show can be broadcast the next night.

How do our couples end up? Matt and Harriet?
Iffy. Harriet calls it over, but Matt hasn’t given up.

Tom and Lucy?
Hope.

Simon and Darius?
A couple of smiles and a bit of making up, but not after some more jackassery from Simon. (C’mon, I’m not the only one who sees a bit of ambiguity on Simon’s part, right?)

Jordan and Danny?
There’s a bit of magic. Which may or may not be as telling as it sounds.

What’s good?
“Let’s make fun of the homeless, they deserve it.”; “I was trying to get past the visual of you playing field hockey!” “I was good!” “I’ll bet!”; “You don’t scare me! … You do, that was hubris.”; “It was probably the tequila.” “Thanks, Hawkeye.”; “OK, and I’ll be performing selected scenes from Weekend at Bernie’s!”; there seems to be an AWful lot of booze at the catholic fundraiser; “I think it’s that you can’t walk away, so you’re burning down the house.”; “What the hell just happened?”; “And when I find these animals, I’m gonna cook ‘em and I’m gonna eat ‘em!”; “She’s 20 years old, Tom.” “She’s Courtney Love, Jack!”; Matthew Perry’s excellent terrible introduction, proving definitively to those who still doubted that dude can really act; “We dropped her, it’s ok.”; Timothy Busfield getting progressively more ridiculous dealing with the missing animals; Steven Weber helping Kim with a hangover; “It’s cooler with a dollar bill.” “No it’s not.”; Mark McKinney panicking about mold; “Lunatic girls is an idiom in our language.”; “I speak a few words.” “How many?” “All of them.”; “Your daughter’s not going to quit the viola, but you might consider laying off her ass once in a while, you commie prick. Did you understand all those words?”; “How many hours ago?” “Tuesday.”; “What is it?” “Chanel Sable.”; “Look behind you.”; “Don’t ever make fun of my magic tricks.”; the final montage – Jack and Tom in particular.

Not so good?
To say it was talky in parts would draw no end of mockery, right? It just felt a tad draggy, even for a show made by one of the people who brought lots of talk back to TV. Matt and Harriet in particular did grow and it felt realistic, but the same conversation felt like it happened about four times, with realizations sprinkled artificially and gradually.; Simon somehow ended up winning his thing with Darius, and somehow we’re expected to believe that that was the correct outcome. Sorry, but he was far too big of a jackass for me to buy that he didn’t deserve to have his teeth knocked in. There’s obviously shades of gray, but still, it didn’t sit right – I like Darius too much to see Simon so smug and superior, no matter how much the reality of Hollywood might reflect on this.; the final montage – the music, Simon and Darius, and the fact that this ‘conclusion’ still left us mid-action.

Rating for 1.14 (out of five)
**** (barely, though if Herc is giving new Losts only three and a half, maybe I need to think about adjusting my system – a system that is generally based on how it related to most else on TV, not a self-enclosed one)

As a bonus, NBC has graciously supplied plotlines for “Studio 60’s” February sweeps episodes. They are hidden with invisotext for those who fear spoilers:

FEB. 5
"The Harriet Dinner Part II"
UP ON THE ROOF? GRAMMY WINNER NATALIE COLE GUEST-STARS -- Danny (Bradley Whitford) and Jordan (Amanda Peet) are locked on the roof of the theater while other members of the cast and staff attend a dinner honoring Harriet (Sarah Paulson), whose relationship with Matt (Matthew Perry) begins to unravel. Grammy winner Natalie Cole guest-stars. Steven Weber, D.L. Hughley, Nathan Corddry and Tim Busfield also star.

FEB. 12
"The Friday Night Slaughter"
MATT AND HARRIET SHARE FOND MEMORIES -- Matt (Matthew Perry) remembers how he and Harriet (Sarah Paulson) first met. Bradley Whitford, Amanda Peet, Steven Weber, D.L. Hughley, Nathan Corddry and Timothy Busfield also star.

FEB. 19
"4 a.m. Miracle"
MATT HAS MORE THAN LATE-NIGHT WRITER'S BLOCK -- Matt (Matthew Perry) is stuck on a Wednesday night with writer's block and also has to contend with a young lawyer (guest star Kari Matchett, "Invasion") who's investigating a sexual harassment claim while Harriet (Sarah Paulson) continues shooting her movie. In addition, Jordan (Amanda Peet) and Danny (Bradley Whitford) enter into a contest to see who'd make the better parent. Steven Weber, D.L. Hughley, Nathan Corddry and Tim Busfield also star.

FEB. 26
TBA

10 p.m. Monday. NBC.

Season Sets Under $20!!

Alien Nation: The Complete Series * Angel 2.x-5.x * Arrested Development 1.x-3.x * The Big Valley 1.x * The Bob Newhart Show 1.x-4.x * Buffy the Vampire Slayer 1.x-7.x * Dark Angel 1.x-2.x * Dead Like Me 1.x-2.x * Dharma & Greg 1.x * Errol Morris’ First Person: The Complete Series * Fame 1.x * Green Acres 1.x-3.x * Harsh Realm: The Complete Series * Hill Street 1.x-2.x * Jeremiah 1.x * The Lone Gunmen The Complete Series * The Magnificent Seven 1.x * Malcolm in the Middle 1.x * The Mary Tyler Moore Show 1.x-4.x * M*A*S*H 2.x-11.x * Millennium 1.x-3.x * NYPD Blue 1.x-4.x * Over There 1.x * The Pretender 1.x-4.x * Rat Patrol 1.x * Reba 1.x-4.x * Remington Steele 1.-5.x * Roswell 1.x-3.x * She Spies 1.x * That ‘70s Show 2.x * Tru Calling 2.x * The White Shadow 1.x-2.x * The X-Files 1.x * The X-Files 4.x * The Young Riders 1.x