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Rav delights in telling you about A VERY BRITISH GANGSTER & The Dakota Fanning Rape Movie!

Published at: Feb. 13, 2007, 5:33 p.m. CST by headgeek

About five days into Sundance harry sent me a text message saying "Burnt out yet?" at the time I replied "Hell no, not yet." Well I can now say that I am officially burnt out, I am looking forward to getting back to Austin soon and for the first time in three weeks not be at a film festival. I'd like to apologize to the two people that were actually looking for my Sundance wrap-up, but it just feels redundant to finish it now that every single movie in it has been covered three times or more. I think the only slightly different opinions I would have expressed in it would have said Justin Lin's Finishing the Game is good, but I was expecting better, Jake Paltrow's The Good Night is absolutely Delightful, and contrary to popular belief the cut of John August's The Nines that screened at Sundance was absolute crap, but maybe after reshoots and re-edits he can make that movie work. There's Sundance its done now, back to Santa Barbara nonsense. Today I'm going to review A Very British Gangster and most of the Dakota Fanning rape movie most formally known as Hounddog. That's right, even though we are at Santa Barbara we're still watching Sundance movies. The Dakota Fanning Rape Movie -- Written and Directed by Some Retarded Individual So there are very few movies that I just can't finish sitting through, and this was one of them. At the hour mark I started going through reasons in my head trying to justify why I was still sitting in a room watching this pedophiliac garbage. At around 78 minutes I finally got the hell out of there. What I did see was a whole hell of a lot of Dakota fanning that I never really did want to see, for most of the film she's walking around in her underwear, right before the world's most overblown rape scene she's dancing around in a wet-t-shirt in the most exploitive manner while a boy seems to be whacking off. This movie is just stupid, I can't for the life of me figure out why the hell Robin Wright Penn, David Morse, and Dakota Fanning signed on to this movie, I sure hope they got a damn good paycheck out of it. Especially David Morse, oh god he is so amazingly bad in this, he's like a redneck I Am Sam except if Sam wanted to hump his daughter, cut his hair to look like her, and ran around town buck naked chanting nonsense. Quint stayed for the last twenty minutes, so im sure he'll tell you all about how Dakota gave him a woody if you want to know more. A Very British Gangster -- Directed by Donal MacIntyre I was kicking myself for not seeing this at Sundance, there was universal positive word coming out of that festival about this little documentary. So when it popped up again over in Santa Barbara I was quite happy. The documentary follows a gangster by the name of Dominic Noonan who's from Manchester, his street name is Lattlay Fattfoy. Dominic is a bald brooding fellow who believes in style and has his gang of young boys routinely dress in suit and tie as well as flank him in his old neighborhood streets. Throughout the documentary Dominic is a very charismatic character and very fun to watch as he dances around in conversation avoiding any direct implications to any of the crimes he very obviously is proud of committing. The doco is a very good watch, though at times can be kind of slow. The only real problem I have is at times the film looks too good to the point of feeling staged, in particular one sequence involves a very natural conversation between two neighborhood kids then the camera starts pulling back and doing an overhead shot then into a full crane-shot totally taking anyone out of the scene and totally making one wonder how staged the other sequences are. Nonetheless its still a hell of a lot of fun and I recommend it. Alright I'm off to go watch Taxidermia now. -Rav Write me if you want the details I can't share with the public about my wild birthday party with strippers this past Friday!!!

Readers Talkback

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  • Feb. 4, 2007, 12:24 a.m. CST

    Anyone know

    by instant_karma

    If A Very British Gangster has been picked up for distribution. I'd like to see this.

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 1:35 a.m. CST

    I hope I'm not first

    by DarthSlater68

    as posting the title FIRST is really stupid and for total losers in my opinion

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 2:13 a.m. CST

    Wow, just, wow...

    by FilmFanatik

    A pedophilia movie that nobody can take seriously? Kinda reminds me of Girls Gone Wild.

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 2:17 a.m. CST

    Roman Polanski offered to hold Dakota down

    by rivercb

    But then they told him that it's just for a film

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 2:29 a.m. CST

    Pedophiles GOTTA EAT!!!

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    Sorry had to throw that in for good measure. Sounds like this movie is quite the turd in indeed if this is a true description of the movie. Got to wonder what the point is of the movie as far as message if any at all or if it's just thrown together for simple shock value much the way The Brown Bunny climax was. Pass.

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 2:35 a.m. CST

    Yes I forgot to grammar check my last post

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    It's almost 4am. That's my excuse.

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 2:47 a.m. CST

    "he’s like a redneck I Am Sam...

    by Tommy the Cat

    except if Sam wated to hump his daughther," Most brilliant thing I've ever read at AICN.

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 3:53 a.m. CST

    And the director got what he wants...

    by DerLanghaarige

    ...people talk about his film everywhere!

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 3:49 a.m. CST

    What she wants.

    by Kraken

    Director is a she.

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 4:21 a.m. CST

    Wet T-Shirt?

    by LittleDudes

    Like, a white one? That's some fucked up karma for anyone who watches that shit, for reals.

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 4:21 a.m. CST

    The director is a woman?

    by LittleDudes

    Oh, then I guess it's ok.

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 8:16 a.m. CST

    I don't get it.

    by Kizeesh

    Why does everyone slate the movie when they haven't seen it? Yes the subject matter is unpleasant and challenging but surely the film should be based on its merits rather than detractions based upon critical uproar as to its subject. People whinged and complained when Tim Roth made the War Zone and its an amazing piece of film. Myself I just think she's an irritating brat who can't really act for shit.

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Finally! A talkback for 9 year old...

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    ...fuck nuts. Great. Just great.

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 8:59 a.m. CST

    I guess I'm thick...

    by Mr Chuff

    I thought when I read about a "daota fanning rape movie" on another TB that it was some kinda AICN in-joke along with the Hulk Hogan, has another beer, flames on optimus = I just got off the phone type shit....does this film even have a title? Its gonna piss a LOT of people off. Which sometimes is a good thing but I dunno...

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 11:36 a.m. CST

    I wanna see A Very British Gangster

    by torontoxic

    But Donal MacIntyre needs to stfu. The website has more about him than about the movie! <P> Dude sure likes to hear his own voice and tell everyone how great he is. News flash: nobody cares about you. They wanna see the film's subject.

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 11:57 a.m. CST

    MEN FUCKING CHILDREN?

    by Gilkuliehe

    I'd take CHILDREN OF FUCKING MEN any day of the week!!! (Pull my finger)

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 2:35 p.m. CST

    SNL is generally to be avoided these days, but

    by CreasyBear

    Poehler as Dakota was pretty funny.

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 6:18 p.m. CST

    I started a countdown for Brangelina's daughter

    by CTU Mole

    17 years, 3 months, 11 days...what? You know she's going to be hot.

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 6:23 p.m. CST

    nice

    by wanna_bannana

    This TB is disgusting.

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 6:57 p.m. CST

    Dimension X that is so true...

    by FilmFanatik

    I bet she runs around in Beauty And The Beast panties behind closed doors.

  • Feb. 4, 2007, 9:46 p.m. CST

    Dear God is Right

    by liljuniorbrown

    I know it's supposed to be cool to make light of the worst subject matter in that shock jock ,Sara Silverman kind of way,but come on child rape? Rape can be portrayed in the movies without showing anything and still get the point across. The director needs his/her ass beat with a bat.

  • Feb. 5, 2007, 2:15 a.m. CST

    GANGSTER RAPE?

    by LittleDudes

    AWESOME. Oh wait, shit...

  • Feb. 5, 2007, 6:14 a.m. CST

    I Just got off the phone with Michael Jackson

    by Chiziola79

    And he said you be crazeeeeeeee to miss the Dakota Fanning rape movie. Its this years Little Miss Sore Arse

  • Feb. 5, 2007, 7:17 a.m. CST

    Seriously

    by Chiziola79

    How can films like that get made, who is the fucking target audience for that. I for one wont be rushing out to see a movie about a father abusing his 9 year old girl, think the only film involving rape that was relevant was the accused. Considering that Janet Jackson showing off part of her tit at the superbowl gets a reaction in America dont think this will go down very well at all. I think this has been made for shock value only and that the Director and her parents should be flogged for this

  • Feb. 5, 2007, 8:42 a.m. CST

    So ....someones made a soft porn flick with D.F. ?

    by BendersShinyAss

    maybe I'm wrong here, having not seen the film.... but dekota fanning is a little kid still, right? Is this like a provokative statement on the sexual nature of little girls or has some dipshit layed a turd and tried to pass it off as art? That happens a lot at these festivals i find.

  • Feb. 5, 2007, 12:45 p.m. CST

    FUCK ME MICHAEL BAY..

    by Cyberfury

    he gotta eat too!

  • Feb. 5, 2007, 12:48 p.m. CST

    check out the target Ad this TB is generating

    by Cyberfury

    LOL

  • Feb. 5, 2007, 1:46 p.m. CST

    Very British Gangster:Immoral

    by JohnRevik

    Goodfellas and by extention all gangster films contain a sliver of immorality in that it portrays real criminals who sometimes hurt innocent people (eg.The Spider character in Goodfellas-who was a real innocent human [not a gangster]-who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time) but, alas, Goodfellas is a movie. So, if anything it gets a pass as a history lesson. The Sopranos is dignified in that it portrays thugs killing thugs. However, 'Very British Gangster' is a Documentary. The documentarion made a concious decision to follow a killer around for the sake of entertainment. Sort of like 'Man Bites Dog' without the killings. This is simply repugnant. Expect there to a backlash from victims families on this one. Thank you.

  • Feb. 5, 2007, 4:05 p.m. CST

    R’v, ni’e arti’le but wh’t's with ’ll the ’'s?

    by BGDAWES

    Seriously, you need to 'p’ste speci’l' that sh’t to 'unf’rm’tted text' ’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’!