This is one of the last few Sundance reports I expect to be posting, and I like that he tried to write about some of the films he hadn’t seen much coverage of yet. That’s exactly what festivals are for... giving you a chance to see something you might not see anywhere else.
I really, really disagree with this guy’s BLACK SNAKE MOAN review, though. He pretty much recoiled from it so completely that he barely reviews it. He more or less just spits on it for ten lines. You read his reactions to the stuff he liked, though, and it’s obvious this is just a passionate film nut talking about his take on Sundance. Check it out:
Hi. Long time reader, first time blah blah. I saw a few flicks at Sundance this year and I thought I might drop a line to yous guys. I don't think I've seen too many mentions of these on your site already, so hopefully this shit is fresh.
The Pool.
Written and directed by American Movie's Chris Smith. Shot in India, with Indian actors all speaking Hindi. Fucking LOVED it. I went based solely on my appreciation for American Movie (I hope you all feel the same way, cause that shit is the truth) and was blown away. Magical and enchanting. Possibly the best movie I saw at the festival. It's the story of a young Indian boy named Vankatesh (Vanky) who toils in a shit job cleaning bedrooms at a hotel. Everyday after work on his walk home, he stops to climb a tree and ogle at the pool in the backyard of a luxurious mansion. That's essentially the plot. Deceivingly simplistic, though. Some of the conversations sprinkled throughout gave me more to chew on than other entire movies have. Life lessons and such, you know. And the actress who plays Ayesha (whose real name is Ayesha....fun fact!) is smoking hot too. I met her and Chris Smith in the hallway of the Sundance Headquarters. I was a greazy hungover mess, so strangely enough she didn't fall madly in love with me. But yea, see this shit. Unless all you want is epic battle scenes and exploding spaceships and fucking Jack Bauer and shit. I walked out of 'The Pool' straight up stunned at how much I enjoyed it, and I overheard some press douche talking to some other press douche about how he couldn't wait for it to finally end. I wanted to bite his face off. Yuppie scum. Park City, yo.
Black Snake Moan.
That shit was terrible. Seriously terrible. I almost walked out, but I didn't because I was in the middle of the theater and I would have had to stumble over people in the dark and everyone would be looking at me. Way too much pressure. Anyhow, yea, Black Snake Moan is fucking garbage. It's cornier than shit and doesn't know if it wants to play one scene dramatic and then the next slapstick......fuck. I don't know. I just hated it. Christina Ricci half-naked, chained to a radiator....how do you fuck THAT up? Fuck a plot, just show her writhing on the floor for two hours and I would have been satisfied. The scene where she's going bonkers on ma dukes in the grocery store is so awkward. The audience was laughing, and I don't think it was intended to be funny. And Justin Timberlake can't act to save his life. Surprise, right? His high-pitched Mouseketeer voice just isn't convincing when he's all riled up and angry. When he flips on the ol' timer in the bar it's so embarrassing. And there's this stupid subplot of his anxiety attacks....gaaahhhhhhahhh. I hate this fucking movie so much. Don't see it.
Manda Bala (Send a Bullet).
The award-winning documentary about Sau Paulo. This one's a tough cookie. This one cold cocks you in the teeth. It slices your ear off and mails it to your parents. For reals. What a film. I mean....it's essentially an Errol Morris flick, and I would have been a bit perturbed had I not stayed for the Q and A with Jason Kohn (the director) where he informed us that he worked under Errol Morris for years, and that he basically ripped him off shamelessly in this movie. So long as he admits it, I'm fine with it. ANYWAY. Manda Bala is the truth. Straight visceral cinematic bliss. An in-depth look at frog farms, corrupt politicians and kidnappers, and surprise! He ties them all together in the end, to show us that we are all not so different. Funky fresh soundtrack too, which Kohn said would be available soon. Lovers of the City of God OST, buy that shit. Manda Bala is the place to be.
Crispin Glover's "It is Fine. Everything is Fine!"
Fuck Crispin Glover. I used to think he was COOL weird, now I see him for what he is: stupid creepy asshole weird. And fairly shitty director weird. This is fine for a student film, but not for a fucking Sundance entry. Little things like that annoy the fuck out of me. Oh, it stars a guy crippled with cerebral palsy, it's so EDGY and DARING. Fuck that. This movie sucks. All the actors are terrible. And don't give me that "ohhh, it's PULP dood, it's supposed to be stilted" or some such bullshit. Half the time the sound wasn't even synced up with the actor's mouths. And I didn't need to see a hardcore cerebral palsy sex scene ever in my life. And to that, Crispin Glover would probably say, "Well, then my film did its job. Film is about opening the lines of communication for blah blah dark satanic rituals blah 420 twizted raven crow" fucking douche. And in the end it was all in his head! DARING!
The Signal.
Yea, it's pretty good. Quint covered this one pretty well, so I'm not going to go too in-depth. It's dope. Although, I have to say, for some of the flicks I realized I shouldn't have stayed for the Q and A's, cause it kind of brought my respect for certain movies down a notch. Like, I liked The Signal alot, then one of the directors took the mic and tried to be funnyman and bebop and scat and it just wasn't working. Plus, what's with the film crowd now? Is it all hipster fucks with their intricate scarves and form-fitting jeans and wild, devil-may-care haircuts? It really is just permeated with these scumbags. I hate them. The Signal was much better than 28 Days Later.
Fido.
YEA! Got-damn this movie is cool! What an experience! Such a joy of a film! It is an alternate reality 1950's and some kooky space radiation settles on Earth and raises the dead to forever roam the earth as zombies. Thus begins the great ZOMBIE WAR. Later, a corporation called 'Zomcon' develops a high-tech collar for zombies that turns them into obedient labor. This movie has everything you could want in a film. Laughs, gore, zombies, gunplay. I was a bit unsettled at how sexually aroused I was by the 'Tammy' zombie, also. Watch, you will be too. Oh, and in a GENIUS bit of casting, the father is played by Dylan "The Lizard" Baker! Ha! Anyway, this movie is brilliant, you will love it. I guarantee it. If you don't, I will give you my address and you can fly to Seattle and punch me in the face.
Oh, and the short film "Goodbye Mr. Snuggles", that preluded Fido, is just about the greatest short ever made.
Anyway, my left hand is all cramped up now. Sundance was pretty fun. I told Nick Cannon I "loved him in that thing I saw him in". Honestly, I don't know what he's famous from. Take it easy.
If you use this, call me Uncle Busyfingers.
