Cool News
Harry runs over THE HITCHER remake, puts it in reverse and backs over it, then runs over it again!
Wow – what a fucking waste of time, money and cars. I know – I’m that guy that has enjoyed the hell out of the Platinum Dunes remakes of classics like THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE films and the AMITYVILLE HORROR one. Now – both of those series – the original versions – are wonderful films that I love. THE HITCHER is no different. I love the original film. I don’t care how fucked up Eric Red may be – I love Rutger Hauer and C Thomas Howell and Jennifer Jason Leigh. I think the biggest difference here is this. The youngsters they cast in this… are just terrible. Absolutely terrible. And Sean Bean… well, he’s as good as Sean Bean can be, but Sean Bean may try to be psychotic… but Rutger Hauer really is psychotic. There’s something broken in Rutger’s brain that’s reflected in those “give a fuck” eyes of his that just tells you… DON’T FUCK WITH HIM. Sean Bean, well – he’s no nonsense. But I can’t imagine him butt-fucking anyone – or masturbating to a photo then using the cum to stick it to the wall alongside his other conquests… In otherwords, Sean Bean doesn’t have the crazy baggage that comes with Rutger Hauer, simply because he made those early Dutch films with Verhoeven. And in the original film… it was that unhinged crazy fucking actor background that Hauer lent to the character of John Ryder. Then there’s the factoid that they drained 100% of the character out of the “kid in the car” character. C Thomas Howell was a bright eyed – wimpy – nerdy kid that just wanted company to keep him up. He wasn’t some chiseled buff boy. He certainly didn’t have a girlfriend. Hell, one would have to strain to think that C Thomas Howell had ever sprouted a hair in the valley of nuts. He was a boy driving cross-country on his very first adventure. And Rutger Hauer was the big bad wolf on his Goldilocks ass. He was gonna make the boy, nut up and be a man. That dynamic is totally gone. Now they have Ken and Barbie out for their Spring Break vacation. There’s nothing significant. They’re not good Samaritans. They’re cautious cynical kids of today. Not wide-eyed, not ready for adventure and the world ahead of them. They’re just as well developed as the characters in FRIDAY THE 13TH movies. This bugs the shit out of me. Now I know. C Thomas Howell has never been accused of being a great actor – but in THE HITCHER, he had a great character that he fit perfectly. And by the end of that original film, there was something awesome about the hell that Rutger put Howell through. And there was something almost mystical and mythical about the relationship between the two of them. None of that is here. There’s no Homoeroticism. There’s no real tension. There are some awesome car stunts – and a couple of great gore moments. And the film is real pretty. With THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE remake – I said it was like the Hollywood Version of the reality that was Tobe Hooper’s classic original. Here, the original HITCHER was 100% Hollywood fare. It was the Hollywood take on Spielberg’s DUEL. And it was absolutely perfectly cast and played. This film is the definition of a pointless remake. It feels utterly pointless. The female switch is weak. It isn’t like they built her character to be a submissive mousy girl that had to become a strong-willed powerful woman that was forced to grow up and stop hiding behind her man, which she was using as her shield from reality – to be her own person. That’s not the case here. There’s not really a transformation of any kind. By anyone anywhere in the film. The fucked up beauty of the original was that C Thomas had gone all the way from innocence – to possibly being A WOLF. You could believe that Howell would become what Hauer was. Utterly psychotic. Here – you just get the idea that possibly the girl might spend some time crying in a pillow. Oh – and there’s very possibly the lamest shower love scene in history in this film. Completely posed. Absolutely PG NICK AT NITE. TERRIBLE. Oh – and there’s all these cute BIRDS references – as if they’re reminding us… or threatening us… “We’re gonna do THE BIRDS next, ready or not!” That was real annoying. If I may. Go buy the DVD for the original HITCHER this weekend instead of seeing this. It’s a vastly better film.
Readers Talkback
comments powered by Disqus-
+ Expand All
-
too bad there's a huge ad for it on the top right of my screen. I have to shield my eyes!<br><br>thanks for the heads up, big guy.
-
wow. never thought i would say that. The original hithcher is a remarkable film. I agree with Harry. Buy or rent the dvd this weeend and watch it with your most deranged friends.
-
Nice review, thanks for the head's-up. I started to have higher hopes for this cuz I dig Sean Bean...but alas, I think I'll just re-watch the original which I own. Thanks for reminding of just how cool that flick was/is Harry...nailed it. Hauer & Howell were quite a couple.
-
I went to a screening of this movie tonight and it was nothing more than a pointless rehash of the original only pumped up with MTV-style editing and a Top 40's soundtrack. What a waste of time.
-
The Hitcher is a classic, this remake can take a jump.
-
What the hell do you know!!!!But you`re rigth here:)
-
Heck, I'm thinking of watching this just to watch Sean Bean do his thang, for he is good at his thang.
-
..pointless remake? There's not one redeeming feature about that film - and that was WITH John Carpenter's involvement! Having said that, I thought the original Hitcher was bollocks anyway, so wouldn't watch this even with Richard Sharpe as the bad guy.
-
paris hilton. THEY JUST DON'T GET IT!!! as i've said before let's find out what their favorite books, t.v and films are and piss all over them , see how they like it!
-
Thanks for the heads up!
-
Jake Busey is a crazy looking fucker, more so than his old man, (who's just crazy).
-
pretty soon, hollywood will start remaking the remakes. then where will we be?
-
And the younglings should've been 2 unknowns that are not model pretty and can act.
-
That should be a hoot!!!
-
crazy stuff actually
-
Isn't this a good thing? I mean, I'm not saying I am homophobic - at all. But I don't necessarily want to see any romantic male on male subtexts (and I certainly don't want to see any Rutger Hauer inspired buttf%$king). Besides Harry, just because a film has male leads does not automatically make it homoerotic. Was 'The Thing' homoerotic?
-
Well, MacReady and Childs have to keep warm somehow, I know some fags who dig on Wilford Brimley, and there was nary a woman to be found...
-
When even the big man decides to rip the shit out of your film, instead of staying mysteriously silent through opening weekend while AICN advertisers run banner ads like a motherfucker, then you are in SERIOUS fuckin' trouble mac! I vaguely remember the original from its HBO run in the 80's but I will cast my vote for Hauer Psycho > Bean Psycho. Then again maybe Harry is only pissed cause his cranium isn't featured in this one.
-
.... I love you.
-
And about what I was expecting. Too bad they got Sean Bean for it, though. Gary Busey's son from -- ha ha -- "The Hitcher II" would've fit such a pile of crap much better. Er, that is, much worse. Er, much better -- which in the case of such movies means "worse"...
-
Eric Red suffers from a brain disorder that makes him have blackouts. He blacked out while driving and drove into a restaurant injuring several people and killing one (I beleive). It was only after this incident that he was properly diagnosed. I thought that was worth clarifying.
-
Great observation; check out his eyes at the climax of Blade Runner (of course you already have, right)? He owned Mr. Indiana Jones/Han Solo with just a stare. The man would be scary eating a bowl of Trix at the kitchen table. "Wake up...time to rent the original."
-
Like I said in another talkback, the original Hitcher was note perfect. All cast members played their roles as such. Also, the fact that the movie was based on The Doors song, Riders on the Storm made it even better because the song totally goes with the film. Not so much in this case. Again, if you hate Michael Bay, don't put money in his pockets by seeing this. Otherwise we'll get more of his godawful films.
-
...they'd have to sit him on five New York phone books, or nobody would've seen him. Huh huh huh.
-
"but that AIN'T stopping us from having banners for the dumb-shit remake all over our site!!!"
-
LA Weekly did a big article about the incident a year ago. (Which I believe Red disputed and threatened legal action if it was published.) Crazy shit. According to the article (as I remember it), Red's Grand Cherokee slammed into a bar in 2000 and two people were killed. He then apparently tried to stab himself with a pool cue at the scene and, when that failed, he slashed his throat with a broken glass. I don't remember how it all shook down, but there was much speculation as to whether he'd really blacked out behind the wheel as he claimed later or was experiencing road rage from a fenderbender. I don't remember the details... looks like you can get the link to the article off Red's wikipedia entry.
-
I read that LA weekly article on Eric Red, damn thats some fucked up shit. All very suspicious.
-
That the original Hitcher had a bit of homoerotic subtext. That's all he's saying.
-
I didn't think it would suck monkey cock...I thought it would suck the spunk out of an elephant!
-
Been a long time. Almost forgot what that sounded like.
-
is that maybe people will say, "Hey, I've never seen the original," and interest will be generated. Which is why the trend continues - studios make money on both versions. Though I'm sure I won't be quite so pragmatic about it if they remake The Thing...
-
History has been made, and you have all witnessed it.
-
ouch
-
he'd have liked it as much as the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake.
-
Got to agree with Harry; see the original instead, kids
-
...to make C. Thomas Howell look good. Right away, the decision to make the one character two and turn Jennifer Jason Leigh's waitress into the guy... a-sucks. Right up there with Zombie making Michael Myers a Jason ripoff. They've destroyed the brilliant parts of the original, like the waitress' potential fear that she might be helping the killer. I remember the cops repeatedly apologizing for not believing the kid's story after the waitress was murdered, and how burned out and bitter he was. That was a memorable performance, and Howell sold it. He wasn't just a himbo-- he had acting chops, and he displayed them. I look at remakes like this and laugh at directors who are arrogant and foolish enough to think they know better than what the original creators did.
-
Oh, sure you can. Just close your eyes and try real hard. Anyway, how surprising is it that there's no homoeroticism in this flick? This is one of many problems with Hollywood today - they care FAR less about making a interesting, challenging movie than they are with pumping out "edgy" dogshit that will be safe to air advertisements for on TRL. Despite what MTV might tell you, the current generation of teeny-boppers is insanely homophobic. Just like their parents, I'm sure. Thanks, Mom and Dad!
-
GoldenEye, Ronin, Lord of the Rings...<br><br>I'll see The Hitcher just to see a movie where he doesn't wig out and turn on everybody.<br><br>Just kidding, I won't see this.
-
Whose reputation for pure terror was such that you went, hmmmm, think I'll pass. That has to do with one man Rutger Hauer. Its power as a films is this ....HITCHHIKING IS A BAD.
-
... but I dunno, take money from it, then eviscerate it... that's actually kinda cool!
-
No not the "two in the pink and one in the stink" shocking. As always, there's this "hey, it wasn't broke so let's fix it" mentality in Hollywood. Hauer was the man and could not be imitated. Next up, Blade Runner Redux starring Triple H as Roy Batty!
-
Oh wait, no, it is old! November 2006 called and they want their "Gotta Eat" back.
-
The ads pay for the site--that's the answer to the naysayers who wonder why Harry would give a negative review to a this film--he's being honest. But there's something else that seems to hover to this day on this site; Harry's influence over Hollywood. It is all generated by two things; Harry himself, and the media talking about Harry generating this buzz. Listen, Harry has no influence in LALA land. In the late nineties, yes, he was a 'poster child' for geek movie sites and all that. But it's passed. There is no power from Austin to Hollywood, zero. Anyone who tells you different has a hidden agenda for themselves. Harry has no experience in the business, and DONT tell me he does, so why would anyone who produces films worry about his influence. His reviews, and the name dropping that happens all the time is just role-playing; and that's ok with me--I just don't kid myself to the truth. Look, Aint it Cool is a great site, I visit it everyday. As long as it provides me with information I like, and enjoy- then fine. But DONT be fooled by Harry; he is not Sammy Goldwyn or even Kevin Smith. He's just a guy who lucked into some fame with his site, and his ego has gotten out of control. The studios control what Harry reads/sees and what he doesn't read/see---it's always been that way. The minute he denies (or anyone denies) this, there's the proof. Yes, some directors have flown Harry somewhere---but it was all in their hands, they knew he would side with them. That's not influence; it's servitude. I accept all this fine; Harry's a kid, plain and simple. I appreciate the passion he has for movies, I enjoy many articles on this site. But don't be fooled; this isn't a breeding ground for the studios. It's just a movie buff's basement on steroids.
-
I don't see ANY ads on the site - thank God! Adblock is blocking that shit :P
-
I've seen the original a dozen times and think a modern spin on it could do fucking wonders. First there's the technology we have now... you can make the birds a lot more viscious, and cgi massive armies of them. Lastly, a remake would fit in perfectly with the whole global warming shit with the environment thats going on these days... a small commentary of how we're destroying our world along with the killer birds. Just because the psycho remake sucked balls doesn't mean a birds remake would.
-
DAM YOU ROB ZOMBIE
-
Look at Ghost Rider; he's so broke, he has to shill for Jackson Hewitt Tax Service.
-
The birds don't need to be "more vicious". The threat is in their numbers and that they own the outdoors. And giving some bullshit "global warming" excuse betrays the original story and film. Remember what caused the birds to turn on us in the original stories?
-
on us... its left up to the imagination. But i think hints of global warming or something might be a fun and interesting addition... doesn't have to be a direct message, but hinted at indirectly.
-
Starring Sean Bean as the crow who wigs out and turns on us.
-
'butt-fucking' is the height of 'crazy' now and the Big Bad Wolf was after Goldilocks? Did the three bears and Red Riding Hood take the day off?
-
If Sean Bean would have spit-lubed his cock and shoved it up the cookie-cutter teen male lead's poop chute, you'd have liked the movie more?
-
The trailer looked so weak compared to the original. Which was a fucked up classic. I hate the modern teenager angle because that wasn't what the original was about. And the girl...totally pointless.
-
That they switched that whole dynamic between the orginal two guy characters just so that tey could have another chick against a bad guy movie and show that the girl was so so so so so much better than the guy? doesn't that completely throw the point of the original movie to shit?
-
Eric Red's Alien 3 script. I had no idea he was a professional script writer - I thought it was some kind of fanwank. As bad as it is possible for any script to be. Pure arse gravy.
-
knowing Hollywood, they have complete contempt for the audience and don't trust ambivalent endings. you just know that in the Birds remake, the main characters won't just leave the birds alone. they'll invent some sort of machine that produces a frequency that drops them out of the sky. or poisons birdseed. or some way to actually kill the birds. or so you THINK! until it is revealed that a superintelligent (ie murderous) bird survives(!) and mutated (!!) into something that the DTV director/screenwriter will have to worry about/ignore.
-
The mythic quality you point out in the original - no one ever mentions that. Ryder is supposed to be the devil, like the atagonistic Satan from the Old Testament. As if the book of Job was told by Peckinpah. The non-existent background, his ability to appear at any time, his escape from the police van...he's not human. I assumed Mori, being the big fan of Dust Devil, would have picked up on this in his review, but everyone seems to think the original is just some slasher flick. But I wouldn't use homoeroticism because that denotes sexual tension. It's closer to prisoner/bitch psychological sadism. Excellent review, Harry.
-
Semen! That is all.
-
Milla Jonovich must dress up like a scraecrow and fight her way to the high tech nest of the 'Masterbird' and killing it will free all the other birds from his spell.<br><br>Directed by Robert Rodriguez and Kurt Wimmer (together at last!)
-
that is all.
-
Jan. 19, 2007, 10:47 a.m. CST
I know somebody who went to the same screening as harry
by Cotton McKnight
and they said he looked terrible. In a wheelchair and everything. What's wrong, man? Feel better soon.
-
that or a bucket of cheese... this isn't news
-
Instead I got talk of Sean Bean masturbating and a description of how C. Thomas Howell's pubic area is as smooth as a baby's bottom. I should have expected that, though, so it's my fault.<p>Hopefully when they put this junker on DVD we get the Region 2 Special Edition of the original here in the US. That's the only reason I appreciate most remakes -- SEs of the originals.
-
Spandau Belly's post being a particular favourite.
-
You said there’s no Homoeroticism. What does that have to do with watching a movie ?
-
After the ads were gone from the site, but hey that's not your style. Keep on rolling you red headed bastard! Redheads are the spawn of the devil! I got 2 redheaded sisters to prove it! In case you forgot to mention it, Harry has a fiance! -GO BEARS! GFY
-
He's in a wheelchair; jeez, that's not good. Harry, for the love of Christ--get yourself checked out, change your eating habit, get more excercise of you won't live to see Forty. I'm not joking around; at your age in a wheelchair...I hope it's not from obesity (not trying to make fun). That's a simple thing to fix, it just takes time. If you have an eating disorder, you need to get help, it' a disease--plane and simple. If you have a fiance, as you say, do it for HER if not for yourself. Obesity will KILL you. I hope you smarten up and get up and get better. Sheesh, a wheelchair..
-
.....as soon as i saw a poster for the remake with Sean Bean, he who brilliantly showed that they had woefully cast Pierce Brosnan incorrectly in the first of five False Bond Movies, i ordered the 2 Disc SE of the original film. i imagine most people did this aswell. as for the remake trend, well, if they remade Deliverance and you got to see Jack Black get bummed off some rednecks (or Afghanistans, depending on the "social commentary" angle adopted by those remaking it) in it, then i guess i probably would pay to see another Jack Black film.
-
I mean, sure, the original was amazing. But did it have NINE INCH NAILS songs randomly placed in it during kick ass car flipping scnes? no. Did C. Thomas Howell's makeup and hair look perfect and stunning by the end of the movie? Nooooo. Okay, yeah, it sucked.
-
But instead of birds, its Mexicans who turn on us! So current!
-
Al Pacino will be playing Salvador Dali in... Dali & I: The Surreal Story - by Andrew Niccol (Gattaca; Lord of War).
-
was that blonde's ass in the blue panties. Pisses me off that every time I have a little hope that one of these remakes will be decent, it totally sucks ass. I thought from the trailer that they had messed up by eliminating the "solitary driver who no one believes" angle, but thought Bean might make up for it. Sad to hear he couldn't. BTW, did Harry coin a new catchphrase, as in "I'd masturbate on that Harry-New Year graphic and use the cum to stick it up next to my other conquests!"?
-
...with Freddie Prinze Jr as -- Freddy! See what I did there? That would be on a par with this shiiiiit.
-
The original is classic, I was hoping with Bean involved the remake might be worth checking out. File this under "Worthless remakes I will never watch".
-
Little kids and prudes, please do not be frightened or confused about Harry's reference to homo-eroticism. It was an integral element of the original film. It is not in the remake. Replace "homo-eroticism" with some other element like murder, kidnapping or cars to better understand why this bothered Harry. Also, noting that a scene is homo-erotic does not make you gay. Just like noticing that a scene is disturbing does not make you disturbed. Get over your fear of being ass-fucked by super-homo just for talking about gay elements in a film. It is not likely to happen, unless you want it to. Or if you spend a lot of time with your youth pastor.
-
What a fucking horrible film that was. I get The TExas Chainsaw Massacre. Not as good as the original but AH sucked ass so bad. And please don't call the original with James Brolin a "Classic" either.
-
what's his sometime co-writer Kathryn Bigelow been up to lately? I'd love to see a new film of hers.
-
butt-fucked Sean Bean, I'd see it at least 1,000 times. This I'll catch on video.</p> It's tough being a Bean fan. All the crap I've had to watch. He really needs to fire his agent. If he has one.
-
"He certainly didn’t have a girlfriend. Hell, one would have to strain to think that C Thomas Howell had ever sprouted a hair in the valley of nuts." That caused me to shoot Coke (the drink, not the drug) out of my nose from laughing. As painful as that was, it still didn't make that quote any less funny. Good one Fat Boy. ~ÐL
-
It really wasn't all that bad. Not all that good either. Not a terrible waste of 90 minutes, but only good if you want to kill time. I haven't seen the original. I went looking in a bunch of stores today and found it nowhere.
-
And what the fuck was with the out of place music??!?!?! First we get "Move Along" chopped the fuck up for the first 10 minutes of the film (not kidding). Then we get NIN's "Closer" for no good reason. It's kind of cool in the scene, but totally irrelevant and takes you out of the movie.
-
Just getting in character for the upcoming Duel remake.
-
Harry don't blame Sophia Bush for being so goddamned hot. In regards to the movie this looked unnecessary from the get go. The original could not be topped. However I will still never forgive you for endorsing the shit that was TCM:TB. Not even the hotness of Baird and Brewster could save that crapfest. (However I did enjoy the first remake)
-
He makes some real crap but hey at least we still have Goldeneye and LOTR and um Ronin.
-
One of the craziest moments in cinema was Philip Seymour Hoffman jacking off and spewing on his wall then using it as adhesive for a postcard in Todd Solondz' 'Happiness'. Now I find out it was stolen from the original 'Hitcher'? Is this correct or was Harry speaking metaphoriclly; an image conveying something fucked up John Ryder would do?
-
They'd rather jizz all their cash away on execrable, disposable fast-food McRemakes than ever dare to have the balls to make an original movie ever again. RIP Hollywood.
-
if you want to see a piece of shit remake of the Hitcher. $5.50 bin at Wal-Mart!
-
Metaphorically. He was saying he could have imagined Hauer doing what PSH did in Happiness. That's all.
-
There be one of Hauer's finest moments. Watched it on cable with my wife last weekend and enjoyed it every bit as much as I did seeing it on HBO 1000 times as a kid. Shame on anyone who pays money to see this waste in the cinema. Life is too fucking short.
-
Thanx for the clarification. Solondz remains the deranged originator. I love that guy's work.
-
Whats this shit about butt fucking , jerking off and using cum to stick up pictures? have some damn integrity and do a decent review. Frickin 12 year old kids come on this site, and you have to act like a freak!
-
He's a good actor, but i'm sick to death of seeing him as the villian. He's obviously stuck in this role. It's all he gets offered.
-
like this movie :)
-
That was actually really funny.
-
The Birds is a upcoming horror film remake of the original 1963 Alfred Hitchcock film, which is due for release in 2009. So far according to the Internet Movie Database, Naomi Watts is rumoured to star in it *oh dear*.
-
is that the director's embarass themselves to the point where they have to commit Hara-kiri.
-
anyone who has ranted and raved about LOTR cannot claim that they do not have some homosexual tendencies. LOTR took male bonding to the edges of homoerotica, and had its toes over the line on numerous occassions. be what you want and be what you are, but don't pretend that you are not it.
-
... I agree with you. I think that's the best phrase Harry's turned in a while. "The valley of nut," indeed.
-
I guess the Hitcher's advertisement check didn't clear.
-
Anybody know why the Hitcher did Bobby Lupo?
-
...and where have I seen her before? I wouldn't judge anyone's acting ability based on such a movie, but I don't really know if she has talent otherwise. She is gorgeous by the way.
-
Holy fuck. I know what I'm dreaming about tonight.
-
which is the gayer road trip?
-
Well done sir
-
I only wish he would dislike movies more often... It gets him to write an intelligible review instead of gushing about how so-and-so's acting made him sport a chubby.
-
Actually I think Harry was referring to Paul Verhoeven's dutch film "Turkish Delight" in which Rutger does involve himself in some semen-to-wall hijinx.
-
You're shitting me. Verhoeven's the one? Intriquing. Speaking of Verhoeven, anyone read Joe Esterhaz's Hollywood tell-all where he describes Verhoeven's depiction of the best sex he ever had: standing position while the woman defecated. Thank you.
-
Thank God someone around here has seen a foreign film.
-
my only criteria is that it has to have naked ladies. If it does, i'm there.
-
"He was gonna make the boy, nut up and be a man." There doesn't need to be a comma there. You, on the other hand, need an editor, or at least to learn how to use commas. Seriously! Not a big deal, but continually annoying (as it occurs in almost everything you write).
-
The opening montage has more naked ladies than an entire year of teen "comedies" these days.
-
The Hitcher and the Remake are both trash... Get over it geeks.
-
How do you learn about REAL foreign films if no one told you about them? Also how does pretending to see a movie make one important? You have many intersting theories to share.
-
Not as bad as Harry's making it. Who gives a shyt about C Thomas Howell, he 80's news. At least it was R rated r, and not a weak PG-13, but considering the money it pulled in this weekend, I'm sure the studio regrets the R rating.
-
Just because "Turkish Delight" has never made the top of my "must see" list doesn't mean some of my best friends aren't foreign films. Don't get all cinema snob on us now. <br><br>Besides, I've never seen Armageddon or Return of the Sith, so touche. Wait, I smell catchphase...wait for it...TOUCHE, MOTHERFUCKER!
-
now give me a list of real foreign films...
-
Jan. 22, 2007, 2:24 p.m. CST
I'm not American, that makes Snakes on a Plane foreign
by Spandau Belly
its true as well as tru dat.
-
Nuts, cum, etc. Harry, your really truly one gross bastard who is obsessive about sex but in a really ugly and vile sort of way.
-
And forget this waste of film was ever made. There is absolutely no reason to redo this one. I'm not totally opposed to remakes if they can bring something new to the table or flat out entertain me(see my screen name) but I just don't see the point of remaking this film in particular. Just re-release the original film in theaters so the younger audience can see it the way it was intended. The only good thing I can see out of this crappy remake is the fact that we may finally get a special edition DVD for the original now. That should have happened long ago anyway...
-
you think harrys obsessive? I'm stroking my greasy cock...right...at...this....very...point in TI-IMMMMMEEE!
-
TEH FOG SUKT NEWAY. ALIENS AND MAREEEEENSS
-
For a hitchhiker, the guy doesn't have much BO. Looks like both Pan's and COM are gonna gross more.
-
Feel like I'm gonna barf
-
In May 2000, screenwriter Eric Red was involved in a minor fender-bender on Wilshire in West Los Angeles ... (Reds Jeep Cherokee hit a car in front of him) and when the guy in the car ahead walked back to (Reds Jeep), he saw Red slumped over the wheel, but staring straight ahead, his eyes open wide. Then the car started to move. Slowly, the Jeep pushed the other car out of the intersection until it jacknifed into oncoming traffic -- his girlfriend screaming in the front seat all the while. At the last second, Red's Jeep slipped off the back bumper and his tires found traction, jumpstarting him from 15 to 50 mph in a matter of seconds, and he crashed through a bus shelter, through the plate glass windows of a pool hall, and against the giant mahogany bar 20 feet inside, killing two people who were pinned against the bar and injuring 20. Then, when everyone was trying to rock the jeep back off his victims, Red wandered off, picked up a shard of glass, and slit his throat. That's when the weird part really began. Red went immediately into the hospital on suicide watch, stayed out of the paper, and nine months later, LAPD announced they were dropping all charges -- it turns out, due to a neurological condition which caused him to pass out at the wheel. That would have been the end of it, except that the family of one of the victims was all lawyers, and they pursued him through the courts for five years before winning a million-dollar judgment. But in a monumental bit of reporting, Cullum documents every twist and turn -- including the similarities between the accident and his own films and unproduced screenplays, and the script he wrote after the fact making fun of the whole thing. It's not a tale for the faint-hearted. And here's a tidbit you won't find in the story: When being admitted to UCLA hospital hours after the accident, Red insisted on being registered under the name Mario Kan. Mario Kan is an anagram for "I RAN AMOK."
-
You're the moron who bought into the manufactured bullshit "cult status" of SoaP. STFU, stop pretending you know how to review a movie, and go back to accepting studio gratuities for blowjobs.
-
i´m full
-
... I am Last!
-
THIS...IS...SPARTA!!
-
I have not seen this movie.
-
cootchie ding dong
-
Now that was funny...
-
Post me! Please!
Top Talkbacks
- Harry dives into STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS' spoilers to reveal the truth behind the blockbuster we're seeing! -- 955 total posts 182 posts
- John Ary's Video Review Of The New CAPTAIN AMERICA (1990) Blu-ray!! -- 77 total posts 77 posts
- Nordling Reviews STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS! Spoilers Abound! You Are Warned! -- 1214 total posts 73 posts
- ‘Darkness Will Devour Them All!!’ Sunday Brings Antepenultimate GAME OF THRONES For HBO!! -- 263 total posts 45 posts
- Capone gets Extremis talking to actor James Badge Dale about IRON MAN 3, THE LONE RANGER and WORLD WAR Z!!! -- 31 total posts 31 posts
- Capone reviews STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS and considers the art of messing with canon and why it doesn't bother him!!! -- 569 total posts 30 posts
- STAR WARS REBELS Coming To Disney XD Fall 2014!! Chock Full-O-McQuarrie!?!? -- 30 total posts 30 posts
- UPDATE The Friday Docback Calls 'The Name of the Doctor'!! DOCTOR WHO's S7 Finale Arrives This Weekend!! Now With Glen's Ultra-Brief, SPOILER FREE MiniReview!! -- 465 total posts 29 posts
- Here's A Behind-The-Scenes Look At MAN OF STEEL With New Footage! Also... Is Supergirl In The Prequel Comic? -- 262 total posts 26 posts
-
Ben Affleck Tonight Hosts
SNL’s 38th Season Finale!! -- 96 total posts 24 posts