I am – Hercules!!

“Rome” ain’t that pretty at all, but it’s still plenty fun.

We last saw these characters 14 months ago, but only minutes have passed for them. Marc Anthony squatting over what’s left of Caesar on the bloody Senate floor. Lucius Vorenus cradling the corpse of his wife. Titus Pullo sitting in the meadow with his pretty ex-slave.

James Purefoy is the star of the first episode, stepping up heroically as the fierce, loyal and gratifyingly vengeful Antony, the Brock Samson of ancient Europe. Set upon by a dozen of Brutus’ knife-wielding thugs the minute he leaves Caesar’s corpse, he manages to fend off the throng of assassins as he embarks upon his long, cunning and brutal sprint toward justice.

But Antony is not the only attraction as the series kicks off its second and final season. There’s young Gaius Octavian (Max Pirkis), who has evolved into a teen of extraordinary persuasive ability - and improbably proves himself even gutsier and brainier than Antony. There’s also Marcus Junius Brutus (Tobias Menzies, never more Rickmanesque), Antony and Octavian’s sneering, scheming nemesis. And of course there’s Pullo (Ray Stevenson) and Vorenus (Kevin McKidd), whose post-Caesar stories build slowly but end the episode with a riveting sequence brimming with angst-fueled mayhem.

It makes my temples throb to think that ten times as many people will be watching “Desperate Housewives” tonight instead.

But what matters Herc’s opinion?

TV Guide says:

… Deadwood in togas, a violent and bawdy tapestry of a vanished civilization. … It takes a while for Vorenus to snap out of his funk, stewing in guilt over the death of his wife and the abduction of his children. But when he does, heads literally roll. …

USA Today gives it two and a half stars (out of four) and says:

… few series that started as well have ever went as quickly and irretrievably off the tracks. With each episode, the show seems to move further from real life and the real Rome and off into some sex-crazed, soap-opera fantasy version of a place that has never, thankfully, existed before or since. … McKidd and Stevenson are as appealing as ever, but the show's strained conflation of fact and fiction has undermined their characters to the point of no return.

The New York Times says:

… engaging even if it isn’t a swords-and-sandals version of “The Sopranos,” as HBO had hoped. It may not be as knowing as “I, Claudius,” but it does excellent work with slit throats, severed limbs, pagan rituals and barbaric sexual acts. …

The Los Angeles Times says:

… smart, dirty fun. … There are all kinds of delicious performances here — James Purefoy's loutish, laddish, animal-clever Marcus Antony; Tobias Menzies' upright, tortured Brutus; McKidd's dangerously stiff-minded Vorenus (who will briefly become the Tony Soprano of the Aventine Hill before, in a distinct echo of "The Searchers," heading off to find his kidnapped children); Lee Boardman's hired-knife Timon, who will likely have more to do this season with the arrival of his brother, a revolutionary from Judea.

The Chicago Tribune says:

It’s hard to know where to start in describing the pleasures of “Rome” … The sprawling cast, most of it from the U.K., is a joy to watch: Polly Walker brings sharp wit and perfect timing to her role as the scheming noblewoman Atia of the Julii, who is the intimate or enemy of everyone who matters in ancient Rome; James Purefoy gives a disturbingly vicious undercurrent to the transformation of Mark Antony from charming playboy to selfish dictator; and Lyndsey Marshal gives Cleopatra a queenly demeanor married to a palpable sensuality.
But this season belongs, even more than the first year did, to Titus Pullo and Lucius Vorenus, who are played with enormous vigor and humanity by Ray Stevenson and Kevin McKidd. The two characters, who met as Roman soldiers, are one of the great TV pairings of our time.

The Washington Post says:

…HBO reminds us of the better uses to which television can be put. The HBO season begins auspiciously and, lest that sound stuffy, raucously tonight … "Rome" dramatizes, among other things, the birth of politics as usual -- and dramatizes it with the flourish of high drama and the urgency of tonight's headlines.…

The Hollywood Reporter says:

… remains a wholly impressive piece of work, stylish and graphic and bold in equal measure while at the same time greatly lacking a cohesive focus. This might be due in part to utilizing a committee of different writers and directors, each of whom no doubt has his own artistic vision. It tends to diminish the enjoyment of an otherwise sumptuous feast. …

Variety says:

… if the show is going to run two years only, this splendidly acted melodrama delivers a bloody good time barreling toward oblivion, delivering enough political intrigue, violence and sex to slake even the most debauched viewing appetites. Unlike the similarly engrossing "Deadwood," concluding the story here -- following the battle to succeed the fallen Caesar -- seems a proper finale. … has a little something for everyone, and its byzantine twists and turns are seldom predictable unless, perhaps, you have a doctorate in Roman history. Even when the narrative occasionally bogs down, the stellar and mostly European cast simply powers through it. …

9 p.m. Sunday. HBO.

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