Greetings humans, Monki here with your weekly batch of all things video games.

We have a decent amount of material to look over this week including Apple's new iPhone (name still pending) and a follow up to last week's rant about the video game war.

If you hadn't heard yet from almost every media outlet out there, Apple Inc. (formerly Apple Computer Inc.) just launched the iPhone. Don't run out just yet, it'll be in stores in June. Why does this have any sort of impact on the gaming world you ask? Have you looked at the thing yet? A bigass screen with touch capabilities. It just SCREAMS out "put games on me!!"

I can imagine developers everywhere are thinking of ways to kiss Apple's ass to get in line to produce games for this thing. If I could just for one second talk to Apple, I'd say, "Hey Apple, please don't just push your games to EA, let some smaller hungrier developers put together some amazing stuff for your kickass new platform!"

But then again, I'm going to be lined up to purchase one come June. That is of course unless Apple makes the genius GENIUS move of releasing a 100 gig widescreen video iPod instead of tying to the phone only. Now that would be really kickass.

I guess one can only hope and pray.

I'm a big fan of free stuff. My guess is you all like free stuff too. Right now you can pick up some free stuff for two kickass games. You can download some free Gears of War maps, and you can pick up a new Call of Duty 3 map via XBox Live Marketplace.

Santa Monica, CA - January 11, 2007 - Time to return to battle! Activision, Inc. announced today the release of a brand new Call of Duty 3 multiplayer Bonus Map, available for download free of charge in the Xbox Live Marketplace for the Xbox 360 video game and entertainment system from Microsoft. The Bonus Map, named "Champs," transports players to Port Royal de Champs, France, where they will experience even more intense Call of Duty warfare that's great for close-quarters combat and non-stop action. The map will be available starting today for Xbox Live Gold subscribers, and January 18th for Xbox Live Silver subscribers.

Additionally, gamers can go head-to-head directly with the developers at Treyarch. On January 18th, players can test their skills against the game creators themselves on the Xbox Live online entertainment network from 11am to 2pm PST. Visit www.callofduty.com for information regarding players and server info.

Continuing to expand upon the multiplayer battle locales, the Valor Map Pack is due out shortly as well, complete with five new maps for more relentless WWII action.

I remember as a kid wishing I could play against the developers of games like Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat. How sweet would it be to play against Boone or Tobias in a round or three of Mortal Kombat 2? I bet Boone loves Scorpion. I don't know why, but he just looks like the kind of guy that would use Scorpion. Sub-Zero all the way for me.

Alright, this release isn't really 'video game' related, per se, but it is still incredibly kick-ass and it ended up in my mailbox this week. So, I'm going to post it because it think it is awesome.

RAHWAY, N.J., January 11, 2007 - The high-tech U.S. Army received a low-spec. yet much appreciated item this month when KIDdesigns, a leading manufacturer of children's toys located in Rahway, N.J. donated 33,000 cans of Silly String - or nearly 2,000 miles worth. The extremely lightweight foam string is currently used by soldiers in Iraq to detect tripwires for explosive devices. The foam is light enough to drape across and thus identify the often invisible tripwires without detonating the explosive.

"This really is a local story with global resonance as we had originally heard of a New Jersey woman who was collecting cans for use by her son in Iraq," said Evan Stein, KIDdesigns' vice president, Marketing Division. "One of our popular Kids Next Store toys uses Silly String and we knew we had extra cans in our warehouse. A few inquiring phone calls later, and the cans were on their way. If this string helps save even a single soldier from harm, than there is nothing silly about it."

Coincidentally, KIDdesigns' cans of Silly String were stored in an El Paso warehouse, which happens to be the home to Fort Bliss, the Army's largest U.S. installation. As a result, the cans have already been packaged up and are currently on their way to the soldiers in Iraq.

How freaking cool is that? 2,000 miles of silly string to fight the war. All politics aside you have to admit that is a pretty cool thing for KIDdesigns to do. I wonder if the cans will be spray painted camouflage.

After becoming a surprise hit for the DS, Cooking Mama is making it's way onto the Wii. I think this is a perfect use of the Wii's abilities as a system and the pictures pretty much go along with any thought you may have for a cooking game for the Wii.

I'm a big fan of these simple yet crazy-fun titles hitting the Wii. Lately I've been engrossed in the not-so-easy Trauma Center: Second Opinion. Damn that game is awesome. Nothing better than pulling glass out of someone's chest after having a few beers with friends. Just like real life!

Okay, this is awesome. At least, it looks awesome. The Godfather is coming to the Wii and you control your character down to every punch, every headbutt and every bullet fired. Check it out.

The question is, do I get to shoot a guy through his glasses while he is getting a massage?

Readers in Utah and Massachusetts, listen up. It seems as though your politicians want to give a large chunk of your taxes to the ESA. Both states are considering video game bills. Bills that are incredibly similar to every other video game bill that has been blown away in court.

From GamePolitics.com, the Massachusetts bill is being drafted by Jack Thompson, author of the bill that was deemed unconstitutional in Louisiana, and the Utah bill will be making a second appearance on the floor of the legislature.

These bills, if they pass, will be deemed unconstitutional and your states will then have to pay the legal fees of the ESA in the ballpark of $500,000. That is coming out of your pocket.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think minors should be playing violent video games. It irks the hell out of me hearing 12 year olds on XBox Live playing Rainbow Six: Vegas with a bunch of sailor-mouthed idiots like me and my friends. But the problem with making it illegal to sell titles is the fear of developers altering their vision in order to garner a specific rating.

What would happen if it was illegal to sell a ticket to a 16 year old kid who wanted to see a rated R movie. (Don't get me wrong, I know 16 year old kids shouldn't see rated R movies, just follow along for the analogy.) Say for example, someone just doesn't bother checking an ID for one kid. That kid makes it into the theater, his mom later finds out, and the 18 year old selling tickets for $5.50 an hour is slapped with a $1,000 fine for BREAKING THE LAW.

Re-god-damn-diculous. There is already an established ratings board out there for video games. A rather picky one at that. (I've dealt with them in my 'real' job.) They do their part exactly how they should. I still think the problem comes down to the parents who make no attempt to keep an eye on their children. No child should be allowed to play Grand Theft Auto, that is just common sense. But to make it ILLEGAL? That is just the lack of common sense.

Again, my Utah and Massachusetts friends, contact your local congressman and tell them that you don't like burning your tax money.

For the few of you who have emailed me about the games positions opening up, Quint is currently digging through them all weeding out the people who insist on using l33t sp34k and didn't send along pictures of their hot sisters. Once he is finished, I'll take a look at them and we'll confer on the final panel. And then the hazing process begins. Harry taught me this really painful thing you can do with a stalk of corn tha......I mean, we'll welcome you with open arms.

One bit of WTF for the week. I went to check out Sector Seven, the Transformers ARG possibly from the trailer, just to see if things had changed and damned if they had changed. Now in place of the desktop of some military guy when you type in the password 'takara83' you are redirected to a trailer for the upcoming movie "Norbit" staring Eddie Murphy. You know what that means...EDDIE MURPHY IS A TRANSFORMER! I wonder if Charlie Murphy is too.

So, that is all the weak sauce I have for you this week. I'm going to end on a happy note with a trailer for the BEST MOVIE EVER. Enjoy.

God I love that movie. Anyway, back up the tree I go!

-Monki