HAPPY 2007!! Finished this up while I was a teensy bit drunk. A lot of last-minute changes with the ranking. If the ranking offends, kindly ignore the ranking and arrange these in alphabetical order. I remind all that if your favorite show is not on any of these lists, it was almost certainly number 11 on one of mine. I also remind you not to defy me.

I am – Hercules!!

Scripted Hourlongs.

10 (tie). Brotherhood (Showtime) A drama from a writer named Blake Masters, it’s about two ambitious Rhode Island brothers – a gangster and a politician - and it’s the best series Showtime has ever transmitted to its tiny subscriber base. It offered many a patently evil character you couldn’t help but love. It was sexy and gory and violent. Every scene attending the first season was woefully compelling. Annabeth Gish got naked a lot, and Gish is someone who looks very VERY good in her nakedness.

10 (tie). Kidnapped (NBC) Mark mine words! Jason Smilovic, who masterminded “Karen Sisco” on ABC before he created “Kidnapped,” has a mammoth career ahead of him, and it's probably a career writing and directing for the big screen. There’s no reason the American public would embrace Jack Bauer without embracing the likes of Latimer King, Virgil Hayes and Mr. Knapp. It makes me mental that NBC walked away from “Kidnapped” so readily (but one still has to give the network loads of credit for posting the show’s unaired episodes free to the Internets). This will come to DVD and I implore you to purchase.

9. The OC (Fox) Creator Josh Schwartz is said to be more involved with season four. So are the critics and not a moment too soon. Chris Pratt was hilarious as the naked enviro-guitarist Che, I’ve always been down with Autumn Reeser’s Taylor Townsend, and the Dec. 7 episode about the Minicooper’s alterna-party was one of the series’ all-time best. I shall never get how America prefers “Desperate Housewives” to “The OC” as its 21st century primetime soap of choice. Are Bree and Edie really more entertaining than comic-book nerd Seth Cohen and his feisty fast-thinking girlfriend Summer Roberts?

8. Battlestar Galactica (SciFi) It was the year of Pegasus and New Caprica and our first look at the Cylon’s inner workings. Loved how Pegasus couldn’t hang onto a captain. Loved how we skipped over all the idyllic and Cylon-free months under President Baltar. Was all excited at the prospect of finally seeing what was going on within the Cylon empire, but have to admit that familiarity has robbed the robots of perhaps too much of their mystique and menace. Still, can’t wait to see what’s left of Starbuck on Planet Algae.

7. Lost (ABC) I miss pretty Shannon Rutherford. She was mean and hilarious. Hurley used to be a lot funnier, and I think I liked Locke better when I thought he was a sinister badass. And I hate when the flashbacks don't tell us anything about Dharma Island. But all my bitching won't take away from the greatness of Ben Linus, Mr. Eko’s Mighty Mighty Jesus Stick, Michael’s return to Swan Station, and the continued promise inherent in the question, “Who’s James Ford?” The third-season opener, featuring our introduction to – among many other things - Juliet, was a five-star installment, likely the best “Lost” since 2004’s jaw-dropping pilot.

6. The Sopranos (HBO) A series I enjoy more with each passing season. The first half of six, which began with a gun in hand of a terrified Uncle Junior, may be best remembered as the tale of Gay Vito and Johnnycakes. A “recovering” Christopher got married, stalked Ben Kingsley and mugged Lauren Hutton, Johnny Sack endured a public wedding meltdown, Carmella and Rosalie Aprile went to Paris and Tony lusted after Christopher’s girlfriend, beat up his own bodyguard and put a helmet through the windshield of A.J.’s auto. The final eight episodes of the season and the series arrive in March.

5. Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip (NBC) A hugely entertaining look at network television (if perhaps not yet quite as entertaining as we were expecting given its “West Wing”-y pedigree). Jordan McDeere remains another of Aaron Sorkin dream presidents; you want to put her in charge of a real network, plus all the cable channels. If it did not start as strongly as “Wing,” it’s been lately compensating for its missteps, and introducing great new characters like Mark McKinney’s haunted comedy writer. The Christmas episode – with the punching and the sore fist and the hearts laid bare and the “To Catch A Predator” parody - was a spectacular way to close out its first calendar year.

4. 24 (Fox) It’s virtually impossible to surprise an audience when you’re mounting a show famous for mounting surprises, but “24” pulled it off routinely in season five, sporting some of the most cunning misdirection in the history of televised entertainment. The fifth season, the first to garner the best-drama Emmy, was the series’ most consistently compelling and suspenseful to date, and built with violent grace on the four seasons that preceded. It introduced us to Martha Logan, Lynn McGill and Christopher Henderson. It brought back presidents Palmer & Logan, Kim Bauer, Aaron Pierce, Chloe O’Brien, Edgar Stiles, Tony Almeida, Michelle Dessler, Bill Buchanan, Audrey Raines, Mike Novick, Curtis Manning, Wayne Palmer and James Heller. Plus, Chloe had to fend off a horny drunk while trying to save the world via some random bar’s WiFi connection.

3. Heroes (NBC) So get this. Before creating “Heroes,” Tim Kring’s big claim to fame was creating “Crossing Jordan.” Apparently Kring wanted to make a more serialized show for a while now. Successful high-continuity series like “24” and “Lost” (co-created by fellow “Crossing Jordan” alumnus Damon Lindelof) presumably gave Kring the opportunity, and we are lucky viewers for it. Kring is a master plotter. Eleven episodes in, he may have already engineered with this complex sci-fi extravaganza the finest streak of episode-ending cliffhangers in the history of television. Add to the mix writer and comedy genius Bryan Fuller, creator of “Dead Like Me” and “Wonderfalls,” and you’ve got one of the most watchable franchises on American airwaves. Cheerleader Claire, who is only invulnerable on the outside, and her gay nerd buddy Zach turned out to be the most endearing couple on TV. Sylar turned out to be one of the scariest villains anywhere. Oh, and a little love please for “WarGames” director John Badham, who knocked it out of the park with the year’s final visit with Eden.

2. The Wire (HBO) A tale of the cops, criminals, politicians and (in the 2006 edition) educators living and working in Baltimore’s inner city. It boasts more than 50 major characters – everybody from kingmaker and state delegate Odell Watkins to University of Maryland sociology professor David Parenti to junior hitman Felicia “Snoop” Pearson to Wendt-esque porn-loving homicide sergeant Jay Landsman. Credit this series its aggressive embrace of continuity, and the quantity of quality storytelling it packs into 13 episodes each season; every episode feels like the network equivalent of season finale. Episodes carry a density many have found daunting, but make for highly satisfying multiple viewings.

“Our tickets are in there, stuck in the mirror. Above her suggestion box and tip jar.”

1. Veronica Mars (The CW) Masterminded by novelist and "Cupid" creator Rob Thomas, “Veronica Mars” is the best TV show in production, and it's about a witty, big-brained teen who solves crime. Comedy, drama, action, adventure, romance, betrayal, intrigue and class-struggle tied up in tidy, easy-to-adore package. Loved this series in its first season when it trafficked in mostly stand-alone installments; love it way more now that the plotlines that run between episodes are tightly woven together into a massively intricate whole.

The shock-happy second-season finale was a five-star affair, elegantly, excitingly and satisfyingly wrapping up every complex plotline of the second season, and - as a completely unexpected bonus - even a couple major ones from season one.

And the third season is shaping up to be the series’ best yet. Veronica’s efforts to track down a campus serial rapist has amusingly earned her the emnity of both the loutish residents of fraternity row and the shrewish Hearst College feminists. Keith boned the married. Sleazy P.I. Vinnie Van Lowe proved a hero. We saw Fitzpatrick-on-Fitzpatrick violence. And season three’s first-arc finale, memorably punctuated by a 7-year-old Fatboy Slim single, was by turns thrilling, harrowing, and laugh-out-loud funny.

Ratings are up and the CW has increased its third-season episode order to 20, 11 of which air in 2007.

Scripted Half-Hours.
10. The Loop (Fox)
9. 30 Rock (NBC)
8. Arrested Development(Fox)
7. Weeds (Showtime)
6. King of the Hill (Fox)
5. Entourage (HBO)
4. Wonder Showzen (MTV2)
3. The Office (NBC)
2. The Venture Bros. (Cartoon Network)
1. South Park (Comedy Central)

Reality Shows.
10. WifeSwap (ABC)
9. Can’t Get A Date (VH1)
8. Celebrity Poker Showdown (Bravo)
7. The Amazing Race (CBS)
6. The Real World (MTV)
5. Shipwrecked (BBC America)
4. My Life On the D-List (Bravo)
3. Survivor (CBS)
2. Real World/Road Rules Challenge (MTV)
1. Big Brother All-Stars (CBS)

Chat Shows.
10. Iconoclasts (Sundance)
9. Sit Down Comedy With David Steinberg (TV Land)
8. The Charlie Rose Show (PBS)
7. The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson
6. Jimmy Kimmel Live (ABC)
5. The Late Show With David Letterman (CBS)
4. Late Night With Conan O’Brien (NBC)
3. The Colbert Report (Comed Central)
2. The Daily Show With John Stewart (Comedy Central)
1. The Howard Stern Show (On Demand)

Whedon-y Goodness Under $20!!!!

$19.97 Angel Season Two
$19.97 Angel Season Three
$19.97 Angel Season Four
$19.97 Angel Season Five

$19.97 Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season One
$19.97 Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season Two
$19.97 Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season Three
$19.97 Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season Four
$19.97 Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season Five
$19.97 Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season Six
$19.97 Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season Seven

$19.99 Firefly Season One

$19.97 Arrested Development Season One
$19.97 Arrested Development Season Two
$18.00 Arrested Development Season Three
$19.97 The Big Valley Season One
$17.97 The Bob Newhart Show Season One
$18.00 The Bob Newhart Show Season Two
$18.00 The Bob Newhart Show Season Three
$18.00 The Bob Newhart Show Season Four
$19.97 Dark Angel Season One
$19.97 Dead Like Me Season One
$19.97 Dead Like Me Season Two
$19.97 Dharma & Greg Season One
$20.00 Errol Morris’ First Person Season One
$19.97 Fame Season One
$15.00 Green Acres Season One
$15.00 Green Acres Season Two
$15.00 Green Acres Season Three
$19.97 Harsh Realm Season One
$19.97 Hill Street Blues Season One
$19.97 Hill Street Blues Season Two
$19.97 How I Met Your Mother Season One
$19.97 Jeremiah Season One
$19.97 The Lone Gunmen Season One
$15.00 The Magnificent Seven Season One
$19.97 Malcolm in the Middle Season One
$17.97 The Mary Tyler Moore Show Season One
$18.00 The Mary Tyler Moore Show Season Two
$18.00 The Mary Tyler Moore Show Season Three
$18.00 The Mary Tyler Moore Show Season Four
$19.97 M*A*S*H Season One
$19.97 M*A*S*H Season Two
$19.97 M*A*S*H Season Three
$19.97 M*A*S*H Season Four
$19.97 M*A*S*H Season Five
$19.97 M*A*S*H Season Six
$19.97 M*A*S*H Season Seven
$19.97 M*A*S*H Season Eight
$19.97 M*A*S*H Season Nine
$19.97 M*A*S*H Season Ten
$19.97 M*A*S*H Season Eleven
$19.97 Millennium Season One
$19.97 Millennium Season Two
$19.97 Millennium Season Three
$19.97 NYPD Blue Season One
$19.97 NYPD Blue Season Two
$19.97 NYPD Blue Season Three
$19.97 NYPD Blue Season Four
$19.97 Over There Season One
$19.97 Point Pleasant Season One
$19.97 The Pretender Season One
$19.97 The Pretender Season Two
$19.97 The Pretender Season Three
$19.97 The Pretender Season Four
$19.99 The Rat Patrol Season One
$19.97 Reba Season One
$19.97 Reba Season Four
$19.97 Remington Steele Season One
$20.00 Remington Steele Season Two
$19.97 Remington Steele Season Three
$19.97 Roswell Season One
$19.97 Roswell Season Two
$19.97 Roswell Season Three
$20.00 She Spies Season One
$18.00 Tru Calling Season Two
$19.97 The White Shadow Season One
$19.97 The White Shadow Season Two
$20.00 The Young Riders Season One