SIMPSONS!! ER!! SNL!! 24!! MOONLIGHTING!! ROCKFORD!! Herc's Super-Exciting Season-Box DVD...

I am – Hercules!!

Sam Simon wrote a radio sitcom for Sirius’ “The Howard Stern Show” titled “The Bitter Half,” which offered a fictionalized look at the show’s stars, staff and spouses. It aired Oct. 25 and was far funnier than any new “Simpsons” episode I’ve seen in a decade. Why is “The Simpsons” no longer as it was? My personal prevailing theory is it no longer has Sam Simon. Before Homer and Bart made their leap from “Tracey Ullman Show” to their own half-hour series in 1989, Simon was one of the key creative forces behind “Cheers,” one of the funniest sitcoms every produced. About 12 years ago, Simon appears to have left the “Simpsons” to pursue other comedy opportunities; draw your conclusions. Season nine, which ran over 1997 and 1998 and is the last I’m likely to buy, begins with Barney Gumble parking Homer’s car between the towers of the World Trade Center. Later, principal Seymour Skinner is discovered to be an imposter named Armin Tanzarian, Homer joins the NRA, Homer replaces Ned as Bart’s Pee-Wee Football coach, Marge pretends to be Apu's wife, the skeleton of an angel is found buried under sacred ground, Lionel Hutz hires Marge as a realtor, Bart blames a burglar after he accidentally burns down the Christmas tree and all the presents, the family finds carnies squatting in their house, Springfield falls into the thrall of a religious cult (one of which Flanders and Lovejoy do not approve), the Springfield Elementary kids are marooned on a desert island, Homer’s new Internet company provokes the ire of Bill Gates, Krusty develops an edgier act, Homer and Moe perpetrate an insurance scam, Lisa fears a latent “Simpson gene” will make her as stupid as Homer and Bart, Homer captains a nuclear sub and nearly starts a war, Homer becomes a government mole, Lisa and Bart become news anchors, Homer runs for sanitation commissioner, Homer begins training at movie star Rainier Wolfcastle’s gym, and Homer and Marge start having sex in public places. Treehouse of Horror VIII, with teleplays credited to Ned Goldreyer, David X. Cohen and Mike Scully, parodies “The Omega Man,” “The Fly” and “The Crucible.”

ER: The Complete Sixth Season contains what I gauge to be the single most dramatic and moving episode of the series ever produced. The Valentine’s Day installment, “All in the Family,” portrays the bloody the aftermath of John Carter and Lucy Knight’s assault, and how Greene, Corday, Weaver, Kovac, Lockhart, Chen, Anspaugh, Benton, Romano and others struggle together to save their colleagues’ lives. I find it impossible to watch this episode without dissolving into a puddle of tears. Spoilers follow in invisotext. Discover that David Krumholtz, of “Numb3rs” and “Serenity” fame, played John and Lucy’s schizophrenic attacker and that 17-year-old Liza Weil, subsequently high schooler Paris Geller on “Gilmore Girls,” played the attacker’s wife. One of the deleted scenes from an earlier episode depicts Lucy’s unremarkable first meeting with her killer. And though last season is billed as George Clooney’s last, this season actually marks the last appearance of Dr. Doug. Extras include a gag reel and loads of deleted scenes from 14 of the 22 episodes.
Herc’s Popular Pricing Pantry: Only five more shopping days till Christmas, and the retailers continue to go nuts. You should too, because everything pretty much rockets back to its unfortunate normal price on Dec. 26. Next week's column will look very different from this one.

First off, it looks like the first season of “24” just fell to $23.49, which I believe is WAY cheaper than anyone has seen it new. I know for sure that a week ago this set was $43.49. It could be back there in a few hours. See what Kim looked like before the cougars ruined her looks. Feliz Gravitas.

$19.99 At $19.99, every episode of “Firefly” is 60% off! All the space-hookers are included.

The Prisoner is still 50%-off!! I don’t remember seeing the entire “Prisoner” series selling new for less than $90 until two weeks ago. (When I’m pretty sure it was $109!) It’s down to $69.97! It’s also one of the three best series ever aired. This price can’t last past Christmas.

For my money, these are the two funniest British shows ever forged, and they’re usually much more expensive at not-Christmas. Not-Christmas being just around the corner, I suggest you snap these up now-ish: $29.97 Fawlty Towers: The Complete Series $69.97 Monty Python: The Complete Series 16-Ton Megaset (45 episodes) And for those who have been away two weeks, Warner Bros. Home Entertainment still has a handsome selection of season sets ripe for the picking at 70% Off. Again, pretty sure the whole 70%-off thing disappears with Santa’s cookies late Saturday night, but for now: