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Bradley Cooper catches a ride on Clive Barker's MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN!!!

Ahoy, squirst! Quint here. Clive Barker's MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN, a short story that I first read in one of Barker's BOOKS OF BLOOD collections, has been tinkered with for a while, trying to make its way onto the big screen. VERSUS' Ryuhei Kitamura is directing for Lionsgate, who is both putting up the money and putting the flick in theaters. The news is Bradley Cooper (who most will know from his work on ALIAS, but I recognized as the asshole fiance in WEDDING CRASHERS... gotta get caught up on my TV, man...) has signed to star in the flick. He'll play a photographer investigating mysterious killings in the subway system. I know that sounds more than a little like the plot to CHUD, but the original story was world's apart. If it's at all faithful to Barker's story, it'll be one fucked up piece of cinema. There's some truly disturbing imagry in that story. What're your thoughts?

Readers Talkback
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  • Dec. 4, 2006, 1:42 a.m. CST


    by Kevin

    It's been awhile since anything Barker has done has been on the big screen. I am very curious and now with Cooper signing on, I am eagerly awaiting this.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 1:45 a.m. CST

    I smell Oscar

    by BannedOnTheRun

    Meyer wieners. But I'm always glad to hear anything about Clive Barker. Since '80s horror remakes are en vogue, how about Nightbreed 2006? From the producers of anything except TCM and Amityville Horror?

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 2 a.m. CST

    Is this a remake of Gone with the Wind?

    by Cruel_Kingdom

    The plots seem so similar...

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 2:01 a.m. CST

    by the way

    by Cruel_Kingdom

    VERSUS fucking rocked.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 2:20 a.m. CST

    One hell of a story...

    by sith-vol

    Loved this one in the Books of Blood, but I wish they'd do "Pigs Blood Blues" now that was fucked up.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 3:11 a.m. CST

    The original short story scared the shit outta me

    by IndustryKiller!

    One of the scariest things I've ever spent an evening before bed reading. The way Barker ramps up the tension is incredible and his penchant for visceral imagery with the spoken word was in full form. It's too bad I thought the ending was ridiculous, yet somehow still disturbing, which I suppose is a compliment to Barkers storytelling. I'm not exactly sure how they are going to make this into a film though. The story was very straighforward. For those who don't know it it's simply a guy falls asleep on a subway and misses his stop, when he awakes a serial killer is in the middle of eviscerating and performing a bizarre ritual on someone in the very next car over, then the most bizarre ending ever occurs. The only thing I fear is that the filmmakers will hold back as much of where the danger in the book comes from is how mysterious and gruesome the killer is. And to sith-vol, Pigs Blood Blue is a good one, I always had a soft spot for "Yattering and Jack" myself.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 3:14 a.m. CST

    Glittering no-prize

    by BannedOnTheRun

    to the talkbacker who comes up with the best title for the gay porn spinoff.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 3:25 a.m. CST

    Adapting Clive Barker

    by godoffireinhell

    Once again I hope this might turn out to be a decent Clive Barker adaptation. I'm starting to believe his stuff just doesn't adapt well to the screen. The last good Barker-based flick was over 10 years ago. Everything that's been filmed since then (execrable HELLRAISER and CANDYMAN sequels, SAINT fucking SINNER and the pathetic MASTERS OF HORROR episodes) have pissed so long and hard on what makes Barker work in written form that I'm half-expecting MEAT TRAIN to be garbage as well. But please be great. Or at least watchable. I'll settle for watchable. Please.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 3:27 a.m. CST

    Nightbreed Remake?

    by godoffireinhell

    Hell, why not? I think NIGHTBREED needs a remake more than HELLRAISER and they're going ahead with that one... And since apparently we'll never get that long rumored director's cut I'm all for a complete reboot. Do you know that Barker originally planned a trilogy of books as well as a trilogy of movies?! Then he got fucked over so badly on the movie version of the first one that it put him off the idea forever. A decent remake might kick-start things again... But would NIGHTBREED - done true to the novel - really have any more chance of success now than it did back then?

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 3:40 a.m. CST

    In The Hills, The Cites

    by Spartacus Hughs

    Would make an interesting looking film.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 3:43 a.m. CST

    I want a Nightbreed Remake

    by Captain RawBeard

    I agree godoffireinhell Nightbreed does need a remake. The book is brilliant and I did enjoy the movie at the time despite its flaws. I never knew it was a planned trilogy - hope Mr Barker still remembers his old ideas for that one. I reckon the best director to do a Nightbreed remake would be Chris Cunningham - look up his Rubber Johnny short on YouTube. Whilst we are at it I would like to see his Tortured Souls being turned into a film - they were some seriously disturbing figures

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 3:51 a.m. CST

    In The Hills, Tortured Souls

    by godoffireinhell

    It's a great story but I can't see it being done without EXCESSIVE use of CGI and we all know how tricky that can be. TORTURED SOULS, I would love a movie version of the novella that came with the first set of figures. Sadly they decided that this kind of horror-fantasy would be too expensive and so Barker threw it out completely and came out with a new "story" that has a guy sell his kid to hell so he can fuck a demon slut. The cheated-on mother has to go to hell and rescue the kid... Ugh. Sounds like crap, eh? Still, I'd like to see these creatures brought to life as well, even in the context of a dumb and clichéd story.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 6:42 a.m. CST

    Great Strory

    by JackTarmac

    The part where the guy is hiding from the killer on the train is--along with the father walking through the woods to bury his son in Pet Sematary--one of the scariest things I've read. Hopefully, they don't fuck this up.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 7:19 a.m. CST

    Kitamura is awesome!

    by triplefive

    where's Versus 2??

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 7:44 a.m. CST

    Doesn't Clive Barker like the midnight meat?

    by Abin Sur


  • Dec. 4, 2006, 8:19 a.m. CST

    Nice one, Abin Sur...

    by Cruel_Kingdom

    you politically incorrect devil, lol. You actually made me laugh this morning... heh

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 8:32 a.m. CST


    by Captain Mal

    "Ahoy, squirst?" Man, now I have all these mental images of what a squirst might look like, and none of them are good.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 8:44 a.m. CST

    Thanks, CK...

    by Abin Sur

    Juvenile, I know...

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 8:49 a.m. CST

    Porn Title

    by Darwyn

    Not to take the easy road out, but the porn name for this movie would have to be..."Midnight Meat Train." You just can't improve on that. It's like trying to make fun of George Bush when he says, well, pretty much anything - it's just too easy.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 9:15 a.m. CST


    by max_rockatansky

    Scape-goats, in the Books of Blood series, would make a cool film. I heard Barker wants to make the "films of blood"; does anyone know if he's planning this one??

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 9:23 a.m. CST

    Clive has what, FIVE trilogies he is in the middle of?!

    by CarmillaVonDoom

    Seriously, Nightbreed is one of my faves (CRONENBERG as Decker!) but CB has so many unfinished projects, it is what I like least about him. Lets recap: 1. Cabal 2. 'The Art' trilogy 3. Imajica sequel 4. Abarat stories 5. Galilee sequel. The pisser about Clive is he is so damn good, I want to read ALL the sequels!!! We all need to crack the whip and get Clive motivated again! For the record, my favorite book of blood was always Down, Satan! for some reason.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 9:36 a.m. CST

    Here goes nothing...

    by Darkman

    MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN with extra MAN GRAVY en route to the SAUSAGE FACTORY. I tried, right?

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 9:50 a.m. CST

    I knew you people couldn't resist the gay jokes

    by StovetopStuffin'

    But I gotta tell you, gay jokes, especially ones about men who actually are gay, are not all that funny. They're too easy. Try harder next time. When are they gonna make The Thief of Always already? And make it true to the book, not some Harry Potter wanna be.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Barker projects and what would be sweetness...

    by Cellar Door

    I do remember 'Cabal' (aka Nightbreed) supposedly being the first of a trilogy and such a great story and a good movie could make a good remake but if we're going to root for an excellent Barker book to come to screen I'd have to vote (without hesitation) for "Weaveworld"..classic early Barker and still my favorite (read all Barker but his newer non-horror stuff). And for a remake? Why not the chaos and madness of "Rawhead Rex"? I saw the older first translation which is delightfully campy/cheesey but a serious take on the story could have potential. I also remember reading about either a CGI (bad idea) or animated (good idea) version of "The Thief of Always" which would also be very kewl. Got the hardcover with Barker's original drawings...excellent stuff!!

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 10:02 a.m. CST

    One phrase

    by radio1_mike

    The Yatterling and Jack.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 10:11 a.m. CST

    I love Barker

    by Almost_Human

    But this is one story that will never translate well to screen without looking silly.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 10:12 a.m. CST

    How about Weaveworld?

    by Almost_Human

    Or The Great and Secret Show?

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 10:17 a.m. CST

    Meat train to Mundo Fine....

    by Osmosis Jones

    ...mean train to the eeeeeeeeeeeeend....running hard and running fast/to meet my future and away from my past/taking that gamble that cannot last/meat the eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeend.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 10:36 a.m. CST

    Story's already been altered.

    by DonkeyTron

    What fucking photographer!!?! Why are they fucking with this story? It's brilliant as it is. Why this starring vehicle sub-plot? It was a middle-aged, loser guy who falls asleep on the wrong train and meets up with the subway butcher and faces off. That's it. Simple and sweet. Leave it alone. God!

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 10:37 a.m. CST

    Haven't read the books, yet.

    by S-Mart shopper

    I have been to his website in the past and enjoyed some of his movies. Hopefully the studios will stay out of his way so he can churn out some creepy shit! "Midnight Train Meat" "Training the Midnight Meat" "Midnight Meat Training" "Mighty Morphing Power Meat Trainers"

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 10:38 a.m. CST

    Kitamura is awesome! Wait, no he's not.

    by Harry Weinstein

    It's hard not to like VERSUS. It's a fun little movie. But as Kitamura's budgets have increased, the satisfaction has diminished. GODZILLA FINAL WARS was an abomination. Just because Japanese Godzilla cleans the American Godzilla's clock, that doesn't redeem the gratuitous MATRIX-fu that has no place in a GODZILLA film, or the atrocious (even by GODZILLA standards - think about it) English-language acting. I hope he can pull it off, but I definitely have my doubts. And I fully expect some over-edited martial arts "action" to be shoehorned in somehow.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 10:48 a.m. CST

    Damnation Game...

    by Childe Roland the Barker book I'd most like to see get the big-screen treatment, although a much more novella-faithful adaptation of The Hellbound Heart would be fantastic as well. Nightbreed was an alright film. If they redo it, I'd prefer Barker revisit his original intent for the concept. I enjoy just about everything that comes from this guy's mind, but he needs to be more careful about how he lets them make the jump from page to screen.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 11:12 a.m. CST

    Kitamura is perfect

    by Duality442

    Everyonei have talked to loves versus but can't understand what he was thinking during Godzilla: Final wars. I personaly thought the Godzilla was just a fun action movie, an didn't get hung up on the matrix fighting. I guess it didn't bother me cause in an interview he did for the movie, he told the reporter that he was doing a sort of tribute to SciFi movies of the past couple of years.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 11:23 a.m. CST

    The Damnation Game would be fantastic

    by Blue_Demon

    For some reason everytime I re-read that book I picture Sir Ian McKellen as Joe Whitehead and "Trainspotting" actor Robert Carlyle (sp?) as Marty the thief/bodygard. As for "Midnight Meat Train" as a talkbacker said above, the original story had some loser-type character as the hero and I think Paul Giamatti would be perfect.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 12:15 p.m. CST

    Barker needs to do an MOH episode

    by joel_the_ghoul

    I know he wrote the story for Haekel's Tale, but I would be interested to see him take a stab at directing one of the entries to this anthology. He certainly has enough stories in his portfolio worth of adaptation. Just a thought...

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 12:28 p.m. CST


    by REDD

    "The Great and Secret Show" ,"The Damnation Game", and "Imajica" would all be good choices; as mini-series on HBO or Showtime. It's been a long time since I read those, which one had the character that ate razors?

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 12:59 p.m. CST

    I really loved the old Nightbreed comics...

    by Alonzo Mosely

    Did I just break the geek scale?

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 1:25 p.m. CST

    Alonzo Mosely

    by REDD

    LOL, no, I had the Nightbreed Comics also. what was that other comic series that Clive Barker was involved in? I think it was a Marvel series and it had a character called "Ecktokid"?

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 1:46 p.m. CST

    Barker Comics

    by leeVSbenway

    Anyone read the Primal series he did for Dark Horse? That had some cool stuff in it...

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 1:47 p.m. CST

    That would be Ecktokid...

    by Alonzo Mosely

    There are details on all his comics here... I only read Nightbreed, but after browsing through that I want to read more of his stuff...

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 1:56 p.m. CST


    by REDD


  • Dec. 4, 2006, 2 p.m. CST


    by Abin Sur

    My favorite of Clive's, and it would HAVE to be an HBO/Showtime mini - way too much stuff to take to the theatre.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 2:20 p.m. CST

    His best work is still...

    by DanielKurland

    his reaction to learning Sydney is a spy in the season one finale of Alias.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 2:33 p.m. CST

    I've gotten tired of waiting for CB's film projects

    by 2for2true

    Seriously, is there anyone else out there who has had more unrealized film projects than this guy? Off the top of my head, I can think of Showtime's Weaveworld project, Disney's Abarat series, The Thief of Always, the Nightbreed sequel, Imagica...and now Hellraiser is being remade. Don't hold your breath for any CB projects.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 3:03 p.m. CST

    James Cameron?

    by REDD

    is there anyone else out there who has had more unrealized film projects than this guy? It's starting to feel like James Cameron is going to give him a run for his money.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 3:56 p.m. CST

    Two words for 2for2true:

    by Childe Roland

    Quentin Tarantino.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 5:54 p.m. CST

    Did any one else the commercaial

    by Almost_Human

    I forget the company, but they have a commercial that IS "In the Hills, the Cities"? Great effect although the titans seems smaller than in Barker's story. Fantastic story.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 5:57 p.m. CST

    And just for sheer raw imagination .. .

    by Almost_Human

    not even King can carry Barker's jock. The Books of Blood ALONE have more innovative and creative ideas than most writers have in a lifetime.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 7:11 p.m. CST

    I'm more excited for the sequels

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    SUNRISE SAUSAGE SUBWAY <p> MID-DAY MARROW MONORAIL. <p> and of course TWILIGHT TRIPE TROLLEY. I hope they adapt those faithfully, hopefully Del Toro or Gilliam can direct. MMT is really just set-up for the series. <p> LORD OF ILLUSIONS was an underrated film, if only for Bakula's tattoos.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 7:20 p.m. CST

    They already filmed YATTERING AND JACK

    by godoffireinhell

    It was an episode for the old TV series TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE!

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 9:15 p.m. CST

    I was born...

    by REDD

    to murder the world.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 10:02 p.m. CST

    BannedOnTheRun... you called me out...

    by Neosamurai85

    First let’s get down to the obvious: “Midnight Knee Strain” and “Midnight Eat Wane” -then jump to the freaky with “Mid-Height Pee Drain” without forgetting the essential blaxploitation of “Meet Ike’s Meat Train” all while watching are backs for the dreaded “Hindsight Meat Lane” by playing it safe with “Midnight Jean Stain” (you know… for Cinemax) only to accidentally wander into the misogynistic 70’s Italian super-dyslexic lesbian classic “Tightwip Beat Jane” And… yes… “Trouser Snakes on a Train” But by far, as I’m sure fellow readers of the story will agree, the only true porno version for Midnight Meat Train would have to be… Shaving Ryan’s Privets 2: Takin’ it Subway Eat fresh my opossums…. Peace.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 10:09 p.m. CST


    by Neosamurai85

    Why dey no gimmie duh spaces between du perr-graphs? Dey done stepped on my Mojo and and made my Eat Fresh Joke look like it part of the title to Shaving Ryan's Privets 2: Takin' it Subway. Dey gave Daddylonghead the spaces. Why he so special? Oldschool Talkbacker benifits? They could at least shell out a discount on the Lemur Lube for me. Damn whipper-snappers having no respect for the elderly... bunch of no good dirty hippies the lot of them are! Peace.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 11:31 p.m. CST


    by Almost_Human

    You are one funny bastard. Seriously. I scared the cat I was laughing so hard.

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 11:40 p.m. CST

    Mid-Height Pee Drain

    by DinoBass

    is as funny as funny gets.

  • Dec. 5, 2006, 2:42 a.m. CST

    The Subway promo tie-in toys will pwn

    by BannedOnTheRun

    Open Late -- Eat Fresh! Open wide for the 12-inch Midnight Meat Train, with Big Gulp collectors' cup! P.S. I want to see Mighty Morphing Power Meat Trainers vs. Heat Vision and Yattering and Jack.

  • Dec. 5, 2006, 2:43 a.m. CST

    Midnight Meat Train to Georgia

    by BannedOnTheRun

    I'd rather live in his world than without skin in mine.

  • Dec. 5, 2006, 3:40 a.m. CST

    Hey, there's a one-sheet

    by BannedOnTheRun

    Though for the life of me it looks like any New York commuter train.

  • Dec. 5, 2006, 3:40 a.m. CST


    by bender7

    But I was hoping that CB might come back and be involved with a final Hellraiser movie and give Pinhead a good send off. I know he wants to kill him off in a short story but hopefully they will make it a movie as well

  • Dec. 5, 2006, 6:26 a.m. CST


    by godoffireinhell

    They're going to remake HELLRAISER and Barker is writing the script. Again. The "short story" with the death of Pinhead has, in the meantime, mutated into a 600+ page novel!

  • Dec. 5, 2006, 9:30 a.m. CST

    Guillermo Del Toro

    by yumyum

    Dirty, you ain't him.

  • Dec. 5, 2006, 10:23 a.m. CST

    Lord of Illusions was underrated...

    by Childe Roland

    ...and I rather enjoyed the character Bakula played. Am I correct in my understanding that Harry plays some role in the Pinhead's demise story?

  • Dec. 5, 2006, 12:31 p.m. CST

    Lord of Illusions WAS underrated...

    by Abin Sur

    The first 15 minutes of that movie were insane - especially when that giant baboon jumped out...shared the CRAP out of me! Of course we were in the midst of a cannabis fog, but was actually a pretty decent outing, and you're right CK - Bakula actually wasn't terrible.

  • Dec. 5, 2006, 3:40 p.m. CST

    Lord of Illusions

    by Almost_Human

    I too found this often flamed film a fun ride and thought Princess Bakula was good as Harry D'Amour. And it was my first exposure to Famke so how can I fault that kind of hotness?

  • Dec. 5, 2006, 3:42 p.m. CST

    The Creeper

    by GenericGeek

    Reading this talkback I remembered a movie I recently saw: "The Creeper", about a chick (Franka Potente) who gets a bit drunk at a party and falls asleep on the subway, where she finds and fights a weird killer not unlike those described in the short story. I didn't make the connection at the time, but sure sounds familiar...

  • Dec. 5, 2006, 3:47 p.m. CST

    Another thing...

    by GenericGeek

    If anyone knows Clive Barker, please tell him to get that throat checked. Last I heard him speak in an interview he sounded just like my late uncle before we found out he had throat cancer. And I've noticed it's been getting worse over the year. If it's just hard partying, cool, but anyways, dude, please get a check up.

  • Dec. 5, 2006, 4:33 p.m. CST


    by Almost_Human

    Yeah, Clive buddy. You need to have that checked. You sounded and LOOKED so bad last time I saw you on TV, I had to do a double take. Take care of yourself. Your fans are not looking to loose you too soon.

  • Dec. 5, 2006, 5:35 p.m. CST

    In the hills . . ..

    by fireclown

    Damned right. I named my iguana Popolec after that story because he was unthinking, destructive and insane. I also agree on Great And Secret Show, which I just got done rereading. Is there a third book of the art, after Everville?