AICN-DOWNUNDER: For Your Consideration, Luhrmann's AUSTRALIA, Unaccompanied Minors and more!!!

We're cautiously optimistic.

AICN-DOWNUNDER

For a while now I've been trying to get a TV show off the ground. We (that is, myself and the people I made it with) spent a good deal of this year shopping our pilot around to the networks. After some pretty intense bidding, we opted to go with Channel 31, a community TV station that supplies us with air time and studio space, but no budget. It took some strong words to convince my partners that we should turn down the millions offered to us by Eddie McGuire, but this is the only way I felt we could prevent ourselves from selling out. *cough*

So, what's the show? Though it has no official connection to Ain't It Cool or AICN-Downunder (despite the serious amount of pimping you're going to see me doing over the coming weeks; seriously, it's going to be shameless), the best way to describe it is it's the AICN-D column if it were a TV show. It's a movie news/interviews/reviews show. At the moment, it's only playing in Melbourne, but we're hoping to expand to 31s in the other states soon. The good news for those of you unable to watch it? There's going to be a website up and running in the coming days that will post videos from the show within about twenty-four hours of it airing. (The site's not quite up and ready yet, but I'll let you know when it is.)

In the meantime, Melbournites can tune in this Thursday at 9pm for the first episode of "The Bazura Project". Yes, I'm aware that's the same night as the AFIs, but they don't screen until 9:30pm, so unless you're actually attending, you can easily do both. Or just watch our show. Either way.

In episode the first, we take a fairly nonchalant look at movie piracy, interview notorious Melbourne Underground Film Festival director Richard Wolstencroft about what's wrong with our film industry, and tear a newly-released film to shreds. Want more? Provided the embedding worked without hitch, check the bottom of the page for the show's first promo.

NEWS

After consulting with M. Night Shyamalan about how best not to consult with any objective person and just do whatever the hell you want, Baz Lurhmann has announced the title of his upcoming epic. Yes, this coming holiday period, you can see Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman in... AUSTRALIA! "Where in Australia?" All over it, I'd assume. "But why is that surprising? Aren't they from here?" No, that's the name. "That name of what?" And so on. If you're wondering what that sound is, it's Abbot and Costello spinning in their graves. (Fun fact for foreigners who read this article: our Federal Treasurer is Peter Costello, our Federal Health Minister is Tony Abbott, and our Foreign Minister is Alexander Downer. That means that if John Howard quits or dies, our country will be run by Abbott & Costello and Deputy Downer. Oh, how I wish that was the only reason our government was a joke...) Where was I? Oh, yes. Frigging awful name, Baz. I know you're going for something exotic like CASABLANCA or PARIS, TEXAS or MULHOLLAND DRIVE, but AUSTRALIA ain't the name you want. Even I can't stop thinking of Paul Hogan when I see the name of your film, and I live here!

What with Christmas barely thirteen months away, online shopping is the way to go. If you're trying to think of what to buy for that special filmmaker in your life, why not consider the rights to TOLKIEN IS KLONE'IT? They're up on eBay. Just click on this link. I swear I'm not making this up.

AWARDS, FESTIVALS AND SCREENINGS

SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL 2007

As is always the case, the first I hear of new Australian films is when they're announced by someone in America. This time Sundance will play host to the world premieres of both CLUBLAND and NOISE this coming January. Meanwhile, Black Magic is reporting that New Zealand film EAGLE VERSUS SHARK will play in the World Cinema Dramatic Competition division of the festival.

THE COMEDY CHANNEL SHORT FILM FESTIVAL

The Comedy Channel, which has recently called into question the validity of its name by picking up a show by those guys who squirted water in the face of Tom Cruise that time, is calling for entries to its 2007 Short Film Festival. You've only got until the 19th of February, so go to www.comedyfestival.com.au for details.

BOX OFFICE

Hey, look: Jackass is still in the top five! And Johnny Knoxville is right above him! ZING! Actually, "Johnny Knoxville is right below him" would also have worked, but I went to Rusty first. It's the Australian form of patriotism, you wouldn't understand.

1. BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN
2. THE PRESTIGE
3. THE SANTA CLAUSE 3: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE
4. JACKASS NUMBER TWO
5. A GOOD YEAR

RELEASED THESE PAST TWO WEEKS

Oversaturation makes any possible joke here irrelevant, somebody leaves their Indian spiced stew dish in the pan for too long, Latauro quickly reads up on an obscure film so he can make a knowledgeable joke about it but soon gives up when he notices the time, somebody runs with the high concept idea of "what if CHRISTMAS WITH THE KRANKS was actually worse?", Ashton Kutcher models himself after Kevin Costner (after he lost his talent), the French make a ponderous film about life in 1944 (finally!), Lars von Trier releases another chapter in his ongoing saga of THE SAME FUCKING FILM EVERY GODDAMN TIME, the most unintentionally elaborate pregnancy cover-up gets a Gibsonesque treatment, please remove the testicles of whoever made this with the rustiest instrument available, (see entry for THE CAIMAN), and your children's future looks a little bleaker.

BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN
THE BLACK DAHLIA
THE CAIMAN
DECK THE HALLS
THE GUARDIAN
LA MAISON DE NINA
MANDERLAY
THE NATIVITY STORY
OPEN SEASON
RAMPAGE
UNACCOMPANIED MINORS

REVIEWS

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION isn't really a mockumentary. I say that like it's something you should prepare yourself for. Like: "THE PRINCESS DIARIES 3 isn't technically free of graphic necrophilia". Honestly, I only realised that FYC wasn't a mocko about halfway through.

Christopher Guest manages to maintain the feel of a mockumentary without actually going the full hog with the mock interviews and so forth. And honestly, it doesn't need it. The film works fine as a naturalistic stylised narrative (I hold a copyright on this term). It reaches a bit at times, but the measure of a film like this is how much you laugh, and I laughed a lot.

Of course, I'm a sucker for a good Jewish joke, and few people do them as well as Guest and company. The whole HOME FOR PURIM film-within-a-film is note perfect, and Harry Shearer's combined Southern/Yiddish accent is one of the greatest vocal performances in any comedy film. In fact, this is probably one of Shearer's best performances, and that's saying a lot. The whole cast is excellent, which isn't going to come as the biggest shock in the world, but specific props to Catherine O'Hara who has the unenviable task of playing the majority of the drama in the film, and Fred Willard, who has never made me laugh more he has here.

You know by now what you think of Guest's films, so beyond "This is the greatest film in the history of cinema" or "Utter crap, avoid like the plague", a review isn't going to sway you too far from the level of anticipation you experienced when you heard Guest was making another film. Very funny stuff, definitely re-watchable.

BREAKING AND ENTERING

Because of how far in advance we were shown BREAKING AND ENTERING, local critics were asked for a pull quote to send to Miramax. I thought long and hard about it, but the best I could do was: "The first three hours were really good, but the last nine dragged a bit." Yes, it's another film by Anthony Minghella, a talented filmmaker whose filmography is nonetheless considered to be a cheap alternative to cryogenic freezing.

I always fool myself into thinking I like Minghella. Maybe it's because I really wanted to like THE ENGLISH PATIENT until I discovered I liked sleeping more, and so went with the latter option. I really dug THE TALENTED MR RIPLEY, but I remember very little of it, so until I revisit the film I shouldn't dwell too long on it. COLD MOUNTAIN was a pretty good film that desperately needed an hour or so cut out of it before it could be upgraded to any superlative that outranked "pretty good".

BREAKING AND ENTERING continues this trend by setting up some interesting characters, some interesting situations, and then allowing them to fix into a steady holding pattern until the credits roll. It's a pity, because a decent amount of good will is built up in the first hour. Martin Freeman is very good, but most of that is probably me just being happy to see him stretch his legs in a drama. Even if he is playing the comic sidekick. But he has a beard, and that looks like something you'd wear in a drama. Oh, Vera Farmiga (the love interest to all the men in THE DEPARTED) is really good, but again, she gets the showy, funny cameo role, so it's not hard to be impressed by her. The main cast -- Jude Law, Robin Wright-Penn and Juliette Binoche -- are the ones we really should be impressed by, and they are really good, but after the first hour it's hard to get excited about their characters. Particularly when they're pretty much just repeating the scenes from the first half of the film, only slightly louder.

Drama doesn't mean you show people in unhappy domestic situations. That's a setting, not a plot. Things need to happen, people need to change. You don't get a free pass because you're being "gritty", you need to put something unexpected in there, some twists, some turns. And that doesn't mean you're selling out your story or making it unrealistic, either. I'm not suggesting the evil twin turns up or there's a tense stand-off at gunpoint or any of the mildly unbelievable things that Minghella is clearly afraid of. I just want something to happen so I'm not wondering if the projectionist screwed up and looped reel three over on itself.

In the press kit, Minghella mentions he had an idea ages ago for a film where somebody discovers their home or place of work has been broken into, but instead of something been taken, something is returned. I'm not surprised the idea stuck with him for so long; it's a good one. Unfortunately, he gives it the smallest amount of screen time, preferring to focus on the ideas that we actually have seen a million times already. This happens quite a bit. Someone will come up with a terrific idea, and then charge themselves with the task of writing a film around this idea, but they get so bogged down in the support material that the original idea is shunted to the side and all you're left with is the mortar. The idea of someone returning something to the main character's workplace is an incidental one, and has almost no effect on the story. In fact, if the studio wanted to cut out a bunch of scenes to make the film mercifully shorter, this whole plotline could easily go. So could most of the third act, but that's another story. Or rather, it should have been.

I wish I could recommend this film, 'cos there's some really terrific stuff in here, but it's all weighed down by the excess fat that was never needed in the first place. One to watch on a flight somewhere.

UNACCOMPANIED MINORS

Holy crap. I mean, wow. Do people really get excited about making films like this?

When every character is a cardboard cutout and the entire film can be guessed from frame one, you gotta wonder what the point of the exercise is. Oh, it's a kid's film. It's supposed to entertain kids. Well, kids are smarter than that. All the kids in the ANT BULLY screening were bored out of their mind. When I saw CARS, I barely heard a peep out of them. They know the difference between good and crap, and while they may be sucked in by an fast-paced commercial, they know when they're been spoken down to.

And even if they don't, seriously, you owe them better than this. This is HOME ALONE without any of the wit or inventiveness. This is people falling over and kids high-fiving each other.

I wanted this film to be good for a lot of reasons. For starters, it's actually a decent amount of effort for me to shift my time around to see a film, so when I do, I want to be glad for the experience. Second, I want to be able to recommend a film to my young cousins. Third, I love "The Daily Show", and half of its reporters are in this film. The great Lewis Black is the villain of the piece, and the role isn't close to being worthy of him. Rob Riggle, who's yet to really prove himself on "Daily Show", is the big lumpy head guard guy. Finally, Rob Corddry plays the strangest character of the bunch; a misguided environmentalist who only becomes a good father once he embraces a landscape-destroying gas guzzler. Was this a two-second gag about the poor performance of enviro-friendly machines that was accidentally stretched out to fill an entire film, or are we trying to teach kids that only ineffectual fools want to help the environment? No matter which way this went, nobody thought to take a second look at this element?

I find it hard to believe that a man with so many "Arrested Development" director credits -- a show that, it should be pointed out, lives and dies in its direction (and lived every time) -- was in control of this film. It's several miles removed from "AD", which is disappointing because it has a lot of promise. Tyler James Williams plays the geeky kid, and despite having nothing beyond being an awful stereotype to work with, he's actually pretty good. I liked his enthusiasm, and would have liked to have seen it put to better use.

Oh, and if someone could explain to me why every single kid in this film had to hook up, that'd be great. A movie about kids stuck without their parents on Christmas, and yet every single one of them gets a partner by the end of it? It's not a fucking spoiler, either. Two of them are telegraphed from frame one, and the last one comes out of nowhere, like it was added in reshoots. So kids should only feel like they're worth a damn if they get the girl/boy in the end? Fantasy or not, I think it's a dangerously subtle message to be sending out there.

So if you're charged with the task of taking kids to see a film over the Christmas holidays, take them to FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION or something. They may be bored out of their brains, but you can explain to them that they'll be bored in UNACCOMPANIED MINORS as well, and this way at least one of you can be entertained.

NEXT WEEK

- Kevin Costner to star in Michel Gondry's fantasy/WC Fields biopic, DREAM OF FIELDS

- David E. Kelly to write a prequel to EXORCIST: THE BEGINNING, entitled POSSESSION IS 9/10THS OF CATHOLIC LAW

- Matthew Broderick and Danny De Vito to play prostitute-obsessed middleclassmen who get violent when the holidays roll around in next December's hit sequel DECK THE WHORES

Peace out,

Latauro
AICNDownunder@hotmail.com

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