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HITCHER remake one-sheet hitches its debut on AICN
Hey folks, Harry here... Below you'll find the Final One Sheet for THE HITCHER remake with Sean Bean. Kinda makes you wonder if the full poster will have the thumb out... ya know, hitching? OH - But I just found out - THIS IS THE FINAL ONE SHEET, so - I guess this Hitcher is too cool for the THUMB! The body language denotes he wants a ride - but yeah this is the poster. The extreme contrast and starkness means it's scary. Behold...
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(crickets chirping)
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Can't quite make up my mind whether it's just going to be another one of "those" movies, or if it might be something a little different. Sean Bean is a remarkable actor given good material - it'll be interesting to see him take on a crazy-psycho-slasher role at the very least.
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It's okay I guess
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just like the first one.
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FIRST, FIRST, FIRST, FIRST, FIRST, FIRST, FIRST, FIRST
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Shoulda had Bean as the driver and Bush as the Hitcherette. That would have been a scary idea worthy of a remake - there's a cautionary tale with teeth. Now, it's (probably) destined to be just another inferior slasher redux.
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FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK
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Come on Hollywood, let's make that more into a habit!
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How did AK-47 jump the queue? Big Red - if there's one thing that is worth some attention on these talkbacks it's doing whatever needs to be done to make sure our posts come up in the right order... especially for those times when an actual discourse is going on and DogPhart of whatever the fuck his name is isn't turning it into bitchfest.
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Sean Bean dissed for too long!
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Like he's looking to hitch a ride?
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Jesus H Christ they are dragging the bottom of the barrel. The original is truly one of the skeeryiest movies but do they really think they can do better? Why don't the movie studios just re-release the original and try to make money?
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Anyone watch the Boosh? Hitcher's my favourite.
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That also means, "Kids - this shit is scary! Like The Ring, The Grudge, Saw, Silent Hill, High Tension, Hostel, etc." I think this would have some promise if the hitcher had been a woman. Gets picked up by some horny guy. Terror and mayhem ensues. Ends with bloody pecker in middle of road with horny guy worrying about how he'll explain this to his girl back home.
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just keep driving, i'm ok
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They should have said that. These fuckers need to have an original thought instead of remaking old films into garbage.
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The fact that putting those titles on a poster is a draw for people is a strong argument for population control. The fact that this site, which is supposed to be film buffs, treats them with any modicum of respect is even worse.
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...this thing is going to suck balls. As for the one sheet, you lost me at "from the producers of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Amityville Horror"
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... ah, screw it.
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That's so clever and subtle! There was a game a couple of years ago where enemy characters shouted something that's a perfect summary for this film... "Piece o' shit!"
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I'm waiting for the "It's Alive" remake with the killer devil babies and all.
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and yet more money I wont spend, but ignorant teenagers with raging hormones will.
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Where are the Stallone questions....it's Dec 1st DAMMIT!!!
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that Amityville crap.
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This film probably won't.
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If he had Pee-Wee Herman's extra-large thumb attachment.
I hope that truth-in-corporate-naming legislation passes; they'll be forced to call themselves The Shitty Remake Factory. -
..other horror remakes you didn't bother seeing.
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is as easy as this UweBollocks
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crapola
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From the producers of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "The Amityville Horror"..... yet another remake of a horror film from the 70's/80's! I'm not totally against remakes, I think that there are quite a few really good ones. Unfortunately though it's usually some greedy studio/producer trying to make a buck off an established title. And those always suck.
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I guess not. Hey, who needs to trouble themselves with such hard work of coming up with even two ounces of an original concept? Apparently let's literally just go thru every horror movie of the last 20 years until we've remade ALL of them AGAIN a rookie director of B-level cast. Yep... mmm... that's the go-to spirit that made me wanna first get into making movies to begin with, anyway... Viva La Reinaissance!!
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Was McGruff the Crime Dog their marketing guy?
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Tagline: "Panic!"
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that I can tolerate, The Fly, The Thing, Cape Fear, Little Shop of Horrors, but why oh why can't we just stop remaking horror films of the 70's and 80's?? Asian filmakers keep putting out relatively original creepy stuff...is there a shortage of writers because I's sure there are a few people in these talkbacks who'd love a chance to write an original script for a horror film...probably there'd be a lot of stinkers, but I bet there are a few ideas out there that would knock our socks off...am I right?
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Stupid fat fingers....
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There really is an It's Alive remake in the works. Hard to be too mad at that one, though, considering the fact that Larry Cohen, writer and director of the original, is behind the remake. But it is funny and telling that you can just pull a title out of your ass and make a remake joke, and then, lo and behold, it's actually being remade. Sad, sad, sad creatively bankrupt industry... Hollywood, RIP
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blow chunks.
Seriously. -
DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY!
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would have funny if it had worked though hey? Crapola indeed
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Love the Boosh. My favorite, however, is either "The Arctic" or "The Fountain of Youth."
Sheer brilliance. Here's hopin' for a third season. -
... but damn you Michael Bay. There. I said it. But Sean Bean is the closest thing to God that actually exists.
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It wasn't for the fact then Sean Beanb dies in every film he's been in (except Troy, which was pants), so it kinda spoils the end of this one! (unless, it too, sucks balls)
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Feh.
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NOTHING says FEAR like stringy red stuff hanging from a killers fingers!!! Directed by the man who brought you most of PINK's videos!! This should be about as good as photocopies of my shaved ass.
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Suckage.
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Damn you Michael Bay
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Or is that "D" for "Dogshit"?
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Word has it the second half is a courtroom drama after the hero finds a severed human finger in his fries and sues Wendy's.
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that this is the first time a remake is being unleashed of which i recall the release of the first (depending on how you see the Lord of the Rings debacle). dear me, i am getting old.
this "Beefywhore" makes an interesting observation which they did not see - the decent remakes are all from Grade A, proper directors. this succession of horror remakes by crap, talentless hacks is a different debate.
there was nothing wrong with the Rutger Hauer original, and there's no way that anyone, no matter how good Sean Bean is, can top his performance. and what the fuck happened to C Thomas Howell, anyway? -
"Trapped in a box by a cockney nutjob. 'Ave a cup a tea, 'ave a cup of tea. I'm The Hitcher, lemme put you in the picture." Classic. He slashes one way, he slashes another, he even slashes diagonally. He's like Connect 4 in dagger terms.
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This is making the rounds. Like the extra gore a lot. Cautiously optimistic.
http://tinyurl.com/ymv44q
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that is all...
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Why dont they remake shitty films rather than the great ones? Expectations wouldn't run as high and the film will get better press - eg Oceans 11.
Oh, and Sean Bean will not be able to pull this off, Kevin Spacey would have been a better choice even if he just redid John Doe. Bean can't really do creepy/psycho, he can only manage shouty/bit moody. -
...called "Horror Remake?" Avoid the tedium of adding gaussian blur, oversaturation and scratches one at a time. One quick pass of Horror Remake and you're on to your next crappy project!
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And my expectations really sank. The good news: ropes and semis aplenty. So much bad news, though... when did C. Thomas ever find the time for steamy shower sex? And I'm already tired of these instant cliches: super quick cuts of static; flashbulb and recharge sound effects; fades timed to pulsing heartbeat sounds. Geez, did you mention this was by the producers of the TCM remake? I NEVER would have guessed from the technique.
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the mighty boosh rules, has it ventured its way over to the us yet, i pity you if it hasnt IMMMMMMMMMMM OLD GREG
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That's all they need to make this movie a hit. It's perfect for the Trunk Monkey.
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Alas, the Boosh hasn't been released on DVD in the U.S. yet. Those of who are sneaky, however, found copies of online and burned our own discs. I did legitimately purchase the radio series, though. (Sorry about your mangina, by the way)
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Indeed... this Movie will suck!
Hail Arrius! -
I gotta echo another poster; Sean, please, be more selective. Lay off the hookers, crack, or whatever it is that's got you in debt to the point where you're accepting crap scripts like this. Oh well, here's hoping they'll have him naked somewhere in the film. Hey, if they fit in a shower scene for the leads, it could happen.
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Tying into The Hitcher, Rogue Pictures is offering movie fans the chance of a lifetime- TO GET KILLED ON FILM!! It sounds pretty cool to me. The Rogue-sponsored "Get Killed" Sweeps prize is for the winner to die in an upcoming Rogue production. The Hitcher's official website(www.neverpickupstrangers.com), is where you can get complete rules for the sweepstakes.
Do You Want To Die...On Film? I would be interested in seeing how this goes...
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