Movie News

HITCHER remake one-sheet hitches its debut on AICN

Published at: Dec. 1, 2006, 12:55 p.m. CST by headgeek

Hey folks, Harry here... Below you'll find the Final One Sheet for THE HITCHER remake with Sean Bean. Kinda makes you wonder if the full poster will have the thumb out... ya know, hitching? OH - But I just found out - THIS IS THE FINAL ONE SHEET, so - I guess this Hitcher is too cool for the THUMB! The body language denotes he wants a ride - but yeah this is the poster. The extreme contrast and starkness means it's scary. Behold...






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  • Dec. 1, 2006, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Saw the trailer last night

    by UweBollocks

    Can't quite make up my mind whether it's just going to be another one of "those" movies, or if it might be something a little different. Sean Bean is a remarkable actor given good material - it'll be interesting to see him take on a crazy-psycho-slasher role at the very least.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 12:28 p.m. CST

    First!

    by HyperKnight23

    It's okay I guess

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 12:28 p.m. CST

    This will suck

    by ldm882

    just like the first one.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 12:28 p.m. CST

    FIRST!

    by ObiWanCon

    FIRST, FIRST, FIRST, FIRST, FIRST, FIRST, FIRST, FIRST

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 12:29 p.m. CST

    FUCK

    by ObiWanCon

    FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 12:28 p.m. CST

    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

    by PwnedByStallone

    (crickets chirping)

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 12:29 p.m. CST

    Wrong Way

    by JonQuixote

    Shoulda had Bean as the driver and Bush as the Hitcherette. That would have been a scary idea worthy of a remake - there's a cautionary tale with teeth. Now, it's (probably) destined to be just another inferior slasher redux.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 12:29 p.m. CST

    Sean Bean's top billed for once!

    by dr_buggerlugs

    Come on Hollywood, let's make that more into a habit!

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 12:34 p.m. CST

    What the hell? Dammit Harry!

    by UweBollocks

    How did AK-47 jump the queue? Big Red - if there's one thing that is worth some attention on these talkbacks it's doing whatever needs to be done to make sure our posts come up in the right order... especially for those times when an actual discourse is going on and DogPhart of whatever the fuck his name is isn't turning it into bitchfest.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 12:36 p.m. CST

    Here here dr_buggerlugs!!

    by UweBollocks

    Sean Bean dissed for too long!

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 12:40 p.m. CST

    Shouldn't the hitcher have his thumb out?

    by jim

    Like he's looking to hitch a ride?

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 12:43 p.m. CST

    why do this?

    by butnugget

    Jesus H Christ they are dragging the bottom of the barrel. The original is truly one of the skeeryiest movies but do they really think they can do better? Why don't the movie studios just re-release the original and try to make money?

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 12:43 p.m. CST

    I can scarcely believe my powerful peeper?

    by Leopold Scotch

    Anyone watch the Boosh? Hitcher's my favourite.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Don't forget the random scratches and "grime"

    by Doctor_Sin

    That also means, "Kids - this shit is scary! Like The Ring, The Grudge, Saw, Silent Hill, High Tension, Hostel, etc." I think this would have some promise if the hitcher had been a woman. Gets picked up by some horny guy. Terror and mayhem ensues. Ends with bloody pecker in middle of road with horny guy worrying about how he'll explain this to his girl back home.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 12:47 p.m. CST

    I'll wait for the next car, thanks

    by johnnyfavourite

    just keep driving, i'm ok

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 12:52 p.m. CST

    From the producers of Shit and Garbage

    by Cruel_Kingdom

    They should have said that. These fuckers need to have an original thought instead of remaking old films into garbage.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 12:57 p.m. CST

    Amen Cruel_Kingdom

    by IndustryKiller!

    The fact that putting those titles on a poster is a draw for people is a strong argument for population control. The fact that this site, which is supposed to be film buffs, treats them with any modicum of respect is even worse.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 1:01 p.m. CST

    As much as I like and respect Sean Bean...

    by sith-vol

    ...this thing is going to suck balls. As for the one sheet, you lost me at "from the producers of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Amityville Horror"

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 1:15 p.m. CST

    Damn you...

    by Bob X

    ... ah, screw it.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 1:18 p.m. CST

    Wow, and there's blood on his fingers, too!

    by JackPumpkinhead

    That's so clever and subtle! There was a game a couple of years ago where enemy characters shouted something that's a perfect summary for this film... "Piece o' shit!"

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 1:31 p.m. CST

    Nothing compares to Rutger Hauer

    by Mr Incredible

    I'm waiting for the "It's Alive" remake with the killer devil babies and all.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 1:33 p.m. CST

    Wow another classic

    by godzillasushi

    and yet more money I wont spend, but ignorant teenagers with raging hormones will.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 1:41 p.m. CST

    Stallone questions*****

    by Jaffa8

    Where are the Stallone questions....it's Dec 1st DAMMIT!!!

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 1:44 p.m. CST

    They should remove the tag that says they produced

    by MrFloppy

    that Amityville crap.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 1:47 p.m. CST

    Sean Bean rocks

    by Bob of the Shire

    This film probably won't.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 1:56 p.m. CST

    It Would Work Better

    by Aquatarkusman

    If he had Pee-Wee Herman's extra-large thumb attachment. I hope that truth-in-corporate-naming legislation passes; they'll be forced to call themselves The Shitty Remake Factory.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 2:07 p.m. CST

    From the producers of..

    by Spandau Belly

    ..other horror remakes you didn't bother seeing.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Jumping the queue...

    by PwnedByStallone

    is as easy as this UweBollocks

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 2:10 p.m. CST

    Shit. didn't work

    by PwnedByStallone

    crapola

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Yes, the poster tagline is hilarious. Should read:

    by one9deuce

    From the producers of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "The Amityville Horror"..... yet another remake of a horror film from the 70's/80's! I'm not totally against remakes, I think that there are quite a few really good ones. Unfortunately though it's usually some greedy studio/producer trying to make a buck off an established title. And those always suck.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 2:54 p.m. CST

    *sigh* Are they even BOTHERING to try anymore?

    by TheSeeker7

    I guess not. Hey, who needs to trouble themselves with such hard work of coming up with even two ounces of an original concept? Apparently let's literally just go thru every horror movie of the last 20 years until we've remade ALL of them AGAIN a rookie director of B-level cast. Yep... mmm... that's the go-to spirit that made me wanna first get into making movies to begin with, anyway... Viva La Reinaissance!!

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 3:04 p.m. CST

    www.neverpickupstrangers.com?!?!?

    by tonagan

    Was McGruff the Crime Dog their marketing guy?

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 3:34 p.m. CST

    "The Hitcher's Guide to the Galaxy"

    by Doctor_Sin

    Tagline: "Panic!"

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 3:37 p.m. CST

    You know Theres a handful of remakes out there

    by beefywhore

    that I can tolerate, The Fly, The Thing, Cape Fear, Little Shop of Horrors, but why oh why can't we just stop remaking horror films of the 70's and 80's?? Asian filmakers keep putting out relatively original creepy stuff...is there a shortage of writers because I's sure there are a few people in these talkbacks who'd love a chance to write an original script for a horror film...probably there'd be a lot of stinkers, but I bet there are a few ideas out there that would knock our socks off...am I right?

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 3:38 p.m. CST

    I meant "I'm sure" not I's sure...

    by beefywhore

    Stupid fat fingers....

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 5:25 p.m. CST

    Mr Incredible

    by Cruel_Kingdom

    There really is an It's Alive remake in the works. Hard to be too mad at that one, though, considering the fact that Larry Cohen, writer and director of the original, is behind the remake. But it is funny and telling that you can just pull a title out of your ass and make a remake joke, and then, lo and behold, it's actually being remade. Sad, sad, sad creatively bankrupt industry... Hollywood, RIP

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 6:41 p.m. CST

    This will...

    by CaseyMcCall

    blow chunks. Seriously.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 8:03 p.m. CST

    How has no one said it?!

    by la_sith

    DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY!

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 8:12 p.m. CST

    AK-47... haha

    by UweBollocks

    would have funny if it had worked though hey? Crapola indeed

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 9:45 p.m. CST

    Boosh! Boosh! Stronger than a moose!

    by Captain Mal

    Love the Boosh. My favorite, however, is either "The Arctic" or "The Fountain of Youth." <p> Sheer brilliance. Here's hopin' for a third season.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 10:19 p.m. CST

    NEVER thought I would say this...

    by Seph_J

    ... but damn you Michael Bay. There. I said it. But Sean Bean is the closest thing to God that actually exists.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 10:21 p.m. CST

    could be good if...

    by spud79

    It wasn't for the fact then Sean Beanb dies in every film he's been in (except Troy, which was pants), so it kinda spoils the end of this one! (unless, it too, sucks balls)

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 10:47 p.m. CST

    You know it'll be good, 'cuz it's opening in January

    by Osmosis Jones

    Feh.

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 11:53 p.m. CST

    stringy red stuff hanging from finger. . .

    by Noeland

    NOTHING says FEAR like stringy red stuff hanging from a killers fingers!!! Directed by the man who brought you most of PINK's videos!! This should be about as good as photocopies of my shaved ass.

  • Dec. 2, 2006, 12:57 a.m. CST

    What? No Spaz .12 gauge with collapsible stock?

    by Uncapie

    Suckage.

  • Dec. 2, 2006, 2:36 a.m. CST

    His fingers make a "D" for Death

    by BenBraddock

    Or is that "D" for "Dogshit"?

  • Dec. 2, 2006, 3:14 a.m. CST

    www.thiswillsuckwithoutrutgerhauer.com

    by BannedOnTheRun

    Word has it the second half is a courtroom drama after the hero finds a severed human finger in his fries and sues Wendy's.

  • Dec. 2, 2006, 9:49 a.m. CST

    i suspect......

    by mrbong

    that this is the first time a remake is being unleashed of which i recall the release of the first (depending on how you see the Lord of the Rings debacle). dear me, i am getting old. this "Beefywhore" makes an interesting observation which they did not see - the decent remakes are all from Grade A, proper directors. this succession of horror remakes by crap, talentless hacks is a different debate. there was nothing wrong with the Rutger Hauer original, and there's no way that anyone, no matter how good Sean Bean is, can top his performance. and what the fuck happened to C Thomas Howell, anyway?

  • Dec. 2, 2006, 3:50 p.m. CST

    If only it was the Boosh's Hitcher

    by Subculture

    "Trapped in a box by a cockney nutjob. 'Ave a cup a tea, 'ave a cup of tea. I'm The Hitcher, lemme put you in the picture." Classic. He slashes one way, he slashes another, he even slashes diagonally. He's like Connect 4 in dagger terms.

  • Dec. 2, 2006, 5:44 p.m. CST

    Different, bloodier version of the trailer here...

    by Scrnriter

    This is making the rounds. Like the extra gore a lot. Cautiously optimistic. http://tinyurl.com/ymv44q

  • Dec. 2, 2006, 7:04 p.m. CST

    FUCK MICHAEL BAY!!

    by Doc_Strange

    that is all...

  • Dec. 2, 2006, 10:17 p.m. CST

    Not a good idea.....

    by pdennett316

    Why dont they remake shitty films rather than the great ones? Expectations wouldn't run as high and the film will get better press - eg Oceans 11. Oh, and Sean Bean will not be able to pull this off, Kevin Spacey would have been a better choice even if he just redid John Doe. Bean can't really do creepy/psycho, he can only manage shouty/bit moody.

  • Dec. 3, 2006, 4:24 a.m. CST

    Is there a Photoshop plugin

    by BannedOnTheRun

    ...called "Horror Remake?" Avoid the tedium of adding gaussian blur, oversaturation and scratches one at a time. One quick pass of Horror Remake and you're on to your next crappy project!

  • Dec. 3, 2006, 5:14 a.m. CST

    Just watched the "gory" version of the trailer...

    by BannedOnTheRun

    And my expectations really sank. The good news: ropes and semis aplenty. So much bad news, though... when did C. Thomas ever find the time for steamy shower sex? And I'm already tired of these instant cliches: super quick cuts of static; flashbulb and recharge sound effects; fades timed to pulsing heartbeat sounds. Geez, did you mention this was by the producers of the TCM remake? I NEVER would have guessed from the technique.

  • Dec. 3, 2006, 7:59 a.m. CST

    milky joe

    by visitor_q

    the mighty boosh rules, has it ventured its way over to the us yet, i pity you if it hasnt IMMMMMMMMMMM OLD GREG

  • Dec. 3, 2006, 6:38 p.m. CST

    Trunk Monkey!!!!!!

    by onemanarmy

    That's all they need to make this movie a hit. It's perfect for the Trunk Monkey.

  • Dec. 3, 2006, 9:26 p.m. CST

    visitor_q

    by Captain Mal

    Alas, the Boosh hasn't been released on DVD in the U.S. yet. Those of who are sneaky, however, found copies of online and burned our own discs. I did legitimately purchase the radio series, though. (Sorry about your mangina, by the way)

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 2:23 a.m. CST

    Last?

    by Quintus_Arrius

    Indeed... this Movie will suck! Hail Arrius!

  • Dec. 4, 2006, 11:50 a.m. CST

    Oh crap.

    by Sylvia Simon

    I gotta echo another poster; Sean, please, be more selective. Lay off the hookers, crack, or whatever it is that's got you in debt to the point where you're accepting crap scripts like this. Oh well, here's hoping they'll have him naked somewhere in the film. Hey, if they fit in a shower scene for the leads, it could happen.

  • Jan. 11, 2007, 12:16 p.m. CST

    Want to Die

    by Jdiddyman11

    Tying into The Hitcher, Rogue Pictures is offering movie fans the chance of a lifetime- TO GET KILLED ON FILM!! It sounds pretty cool to me. The Rogue-sponsored "Get Killed" Sweeps prize is for the winner to die in an upcoming Rogue production. The Hitcher's official website(www.neverpickupstrangers.com), is where you can get complete rules for the sweepstakes. Do You Want To Die...On Film? I would be interested in seeing how this goes...

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