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Derek Wildstar Exalts The Sweet Chicks Of TURISTAS!!

Merrick here...



Derek Wildstar reviews for us quite a bit. He wrote in to (somewhat colorfully) contest a negative TURISTAS review.

He also offers a stern word of warning about what to do if you're ever in Brazi & riding in a bus that flips over. I know this is a constant concern to me...I'm sure it is to you, as well.

It should be noted that most of the feedback we’ve receieved on the film so far as been fine-to-good.

Here’s Derek…

Merrick / Harry,

Yeah im gonna have to go ahead and completely disagree with these negative Turistas reviews.

You know me, Im Derek Wildstar and my reviews are awesome.

TURISTAS IS WAY BETTER THAN PHANTOMS. WAY BETTER. FOR REAL.

I just read Dax's review and he makes some decent points. Im not going to defend this movie by battling out its cons, I'd rather tell you its pros.

This movie is all about tone and ambience. The cinematography is near perfect; beautiful when the turistas are having fun and partying and yet very grimy and gritty when they are in danger. Theres a few tracking shots but mostly the camera is handheld and very naturalistic. You feel like you are on a journey with these characters. The lighting is mostly ambient throughout the entire film which makes each scene seem more realistic and documentary-like. It reminded me of Wolf Creek more than Hostel. And lets drop the Hostel comparisons. I guess the premise is similar but Hostel is far more disturbing, brutal, bloody and gory. and campy.

Turistas is not campy. It feels very real and authentic throughout. If you look at IMDB you'll see that most of the actors playing creepy Brazilian kidney stealers are not Hollywood douche bags, they are pretty much brazilion natives (I may be wrong).

Turistas aint scary. It's not. But it does have about 10 gruesome deaths and the make up FX are well done.

Theres one CGI shot of a chick falling off a cliff which looks like my 7 year cousin could have made with after effects during recess. Embarrassing.

The music / sound design is flat out excellent, very tense and creepy through the whole movie.

Theres a few sound effect "jump scares" but they are done very well in conjunction with the editing.

The actors are actually pretty good. This aint no "I Know What You Did Last Summer" bullshit, the actors play their parts the way any of us would really react if we were in their situation. Josh D. from Las Vegas is solid and shows range. He's a bit of a pussy at first but becomes Rambo by the end and theres an english dude whos quite funny, but not in a corny "comic relief" sort of way.

The chicks are sweet dude! They basically have little to no dialogue but they are wet and wearing see-through bikinis and thongs the WHOLE MOVIE. So whoever is complaining about seeing only one pair of breasts is missing the rest of the fucking movie where 4 chicks walk around with perky nipples for 90 minutes.

SPOILERS!!!

COOL SCENES:

1. DUDE GETS A FUCKING SHISHKABOB SKEWER IN HIS EYE!

2. A BUS ROLLS OFF A CLIFF AND ITS TOTAL SWEETNESS!

3. DUDE JUMPS OFF A WATERFALL AND BREAKS HIS FALL BY SMASHING HIS
HEAD ON A ROCK AND IT GUSHES BLOOD AND YOU CAN SEE HIS BRAIN!

4. THEN THEY STAPLE HIS FUCKING SKULL BACK TOGETHER WITH A STAPLE GUN!

5. HOT NATIVE CHICK IS LYING IN BED INHALING GLUE FROM A BROWN PAPER
BAG! AWESOME! REMINDS ME OF WHEN I USED TO BUILD STARBLAZER MODELS IN 5TH GRADE.

6. LA ACTOR CHICKS WHO HAVENT EATEN IN WEEKS PARADING AROUND IN THONGS!

7. LOTS AND LOTS OF UNDERWATER CINEMATOGRAPHY OF CHASE SCENES OF PEOPLE
RUNNING OUT OF AIR AND ALMOST DROWNING!

SUMMARY:
I know I sound sarcastic, thats only because I havent slept in days.

Overall this movie has a few minor logistical problems but its pretty tight from start to finish. Very tense throughout but not very scary. Slightly corny ending. Excellent overall realistic and naturalistic tone to the movie due to the combination of awesome cinematography, surprisingly solid acting and dialogue, great music and interesting 3rd world type freaky shit.

BOTTOMLINE: if you are in Brazil and your bus flips the fuck over, dont drink a 5th of rum at the nearest beach bar or you may wake up without various organs.

I gave it an A- But my girlfriend ragged on me for liking it, she gave it a C- My douche bag friend gave it a B+ My other tool friend (calls himself OG) gave it a C

Last I checked that comes to an average of a solid B / B-

Last but not least: Dax was right, the last 30 minutes of the film was kinda dark and shit but whatever, a dude got a shish-ka-bob skewer in his eye and that more than makes up for any short comings.

- DEREK WILDSTAR


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dude
by BadMrWonka
Nov 30th, 2006
09:56:49 AM
I only have one thing to say...
by NubtheSquirrel
Nov 30th, 2006
09:57:35 AM
Why is this movie getting so much coverage?
by Spandau Belly
Nov 30th, 2006
10:27:24 AM
Turistas ROCK!!!!
by TheBaxter
Nov 30th, 2006
10:33:24 AM
Tis the season
by JediCap
Nov 30th, 2006
11:05:26 AM
I still can't wait and love John Stockwell's movies...
by Frank Black
Nov 30th, 2006
11:13:52 AM
Derek Wildstar!
by Osmosis Jones
Nov 30th, 2006
11:29:39 AM
Sweet J H Christ
by Reelheed
Nov 30th, 2006
11:36:40 AM
Affleck was the BOMB in Phantoms, yo
by TheAFLACDuck
Nov 30th, 2006
11:41:50 AM
yeah, i want to see this because of the "ambience"
by howardroark
Nov 30th, 2006
11:48:55 AM
Punkass!
by The_OG
Nov 30th, 2006
11:59:15 AM
The CGI fall WAS terrible!
by Kasch
Nov 30th, 2006
12:47:52 PM
Derek, dawg, you so G!
by JackPumpkinhead
Nov 30th, 2006
12:48:05 PM
Hot chicks ain't enough--
by Batutta
Nov 30th, 2006
12:48:34 PM
Was this review written by...
by MsGrim
Nov 30th, 2006
01:00:10 PM
No Name Guy was the BOMB in Turistas, yo
by Cruel_Kingdom
Nov 30th, 2006
01:27:07 PM
People can always hold their breathe for countless...
by BigTuna
Nov 30th, 2006
01:46:33 PM
AICN reminds me increasingly of the amazon rainforest:
by newc0253
Nov 30th, 2006
02:12:42 PM
Derek
by QuinnTheEskimo
Nov 30th, 2006
03:33:14 PM
Hostel On An Island
by The Ender
Nov 30th, 2006
03:41:59 PM
zzzzzzzz....
by The Midget_King
Nov 30th, 2006
04:09:32 PM
i thought the review was a fun read
by maceodkat
Nov 30th, 2006
05:03:59 PM
Is this another movie in that trend of torture horror?
by DanielKurland
Nov 30th, 2006
05:12:34 PM
Bikini's aren't enough!!!
by BigTuna
Nov 30th, 2006
09:18:31 PM
MIKE: I like Turistas, with Espinosa?
by Osmosis Jones
Nov 30th, 2006
10:16:26 PM

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