Hola all. Massawyrm here.

In a world of lies and deception…where trailers sell movies that are never as good as they seem…only ONE MOVIE…DARES…to suck just as bad as its trailer does. That movie is Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny. No other film has the sheer balls to tell one joke, and only one joke, for 90 minutes straight. Over and over and over again. The same joke. Repeated. Like a sample loop in a rap song.

Jack Black IS…JACK BLACK…in the role of his career! His WHOLE career! Kyle Gass IS…KYLE GASS…in his one band that was actually good, and the one role anyone knows him for! And Tim Robbins IS…THE CAMEO…that you can now officially set your watch by!

Come on. By now you should probably know what to expect from this movie. If you’re one of those folks who simply loves Jack Black in anything and everything he does, then you’re probably going to find this funny. Because this is everything he’s done before condensed into 90 minutes. It’s almost like a best-of reel…without actually being something worth having the word “best” associated with.

And if…I don’t know…for some unfathomable reason…you think Jack Black’s shtick has…gotten a bit…tired. Well, this is gonna be 90 laugh free minutes that will remind you exactly why the Tenacious D TV show lasted for exactly six episodes. This is all of the old jokes of Tenacious D without any of the more brilliant moments.

So let me get this straight. Tenacious D is funny…because they are a mediocre band…that thinks they’re the greatest band in the world, except that they really know they’re a mediocre band? So they’re like a self-aware version of Krokus. Okay, that’s funny. For a while.

Look, I’ve had fun with the D. But this ain’t Wonderboy. This ain’t Fuck Her Gently. Instead, every song in this, every single song…is about The D being the greatest band in the world. Every conversation…is about them becoming the greatest band in the world. It’s like the more annoying SNL movies that try to turn a skit that was barely funny at five minutes and stretch it out for…no wait a minute. That’s exactly what this is. This is the skit that went too far.

Some of the cameos are smirk-worthy and Dave Grohl once again kicks total ass as the devil (sadly only for two minutes of screentime.) And aside from that, this is exactly what it looks like from the trailer. In fact, some of the movies best jokes are in there. This isn’t the Blues Brothers. This is A Night at the Roxbury. You either love the joke so much going in that you’ll eagerly watch it again and again or you don’t and you won’t. I didn’t. I enjoyed The D early on and was hoping that in doing a film they might expand a little upon the theme. Sadly, they didn’t.

Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.

Massawyrm

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