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Massawyrm Shows His Hand In CASINO ROYALE!!

Hola all. Massawyrm here.

Bond is back, baby. Boy howdy is he back. And he’s going to be the most divisive Bond ever. When they set out to reinvent the series and went back to the well of the original text, man oh man did they go back. This isn’t the James Bond you’ve come to love over the years – rather, it’s the James Bond from the printed page. The “…anonymous blunt instrument wielded by a Government Department” that Ian Fleming both described and wrote about. And Daniel Craig and Martin Cambell do one hell of a job breathing new life into a long dying franchise.

Let’s face it. While I love Bond, even the most ardent fans have to admit the shortcomings of the franchise. After 20 official feature films, countless parodies and skits, dozens of non-Fleming penned novels and 5 other guys playing the role…it’s gotten a bit stale and something of a self-parody machine. They ran out of adaptable material two bonds ago, and they simply began to spin the “Wheel of Bond Plots” as each film seemed to get more and more ridiculous. Even though Die Another Day was fun, you have to shrug at the bizarre plot involving the North Koreans trying to harness the power of the sun. It’s just gotten kind of silly. Hell, even the sequence with the new Q made fun of the goofy gadgets in the series.

It’s safe to say that Bond, as we all knew him, was pretty much done. And it’s often been tossed around here at AICN, when the topic of Bond has come up, about how one might going about reinventing him. Harry has often mused that it should become a director showcase, with each film bringing a different visionary director in to take the helm for a single film. After all, what would Tarantino’s Bond, Rodriguez’s Bond, John Woo’s Bond or even Tony Scott’s Bond…be like? What kind of adventure would they send him on? Myself, I’ve always wondered what it would have been like if each new Bond wasn’t actually James Bond, but simply the new 007. At least then they could give each actor some room to make the charcter their own without offending those that were really attached to the old ones. Kind of like how Dr. Who has always handled the Regenerations.

But no matter your opinion on how it should be handled, most everyone can agree on one thing. Bond has gotten a bit weak and needs some new blood. The question is, will this new iteration of Bond get your blood pumping for some new Bond adventures or will it upset you that they depart so much from the long established formula? Both points of view or going to be vaild and both are very much going to exist. Because this IS NOT the James Bond you grew up with on screen. Not one bit of it.

First of all, this Bond is never played for laughs. He’s quite serious. He’s not a one liner, pun spitting smart ass. Instead he’s a hard core bad ass. The kind of guy the British government would go to to kill someone quickly and efficiently if they needed to. As you’ve seen Bond say in the trailer “You want someone who is part hitman, part monk,” only he hasn’t quite gotten the monk part down. No, this isn’t the Bond you grew up with. This is the Bond from the original novel. He’s not bitter yet, he’s not comfortable with his job. And he’s not weighed down by dozens of miniturized gadgets.

That’s right. There isn’t a single scene with Q, he’s got no special watch, his car doesn’t fire rockets or spray water or leave oil slicks on the road. He’s got a really cool cell phone and a car with a hidden compartment and that’s about it. You won’t see a surprise parchute nor a special device that seems to only have a single purpose that Bond just happens to find useful. Nothing of the kind.

Now do you see what I’m getting at? Already a whole mess of you are saying “Wait just one cotton picking minute there, Wyrm. Are you saying this is a James Bond movie without gadgets? That’s not a James Bond movie! Next thing you’ll be telling me is that there aren’t any characters with silly names.” Well, about that. There are no silly names. “Oh fucking hell! What kind of Bond movie is this?”

An incredibly badass one. And one that sticks enough to formula, and sticks especially close to the original novel, that it still hits all the right marks. Long known for its amazing opening sequences, Casino Royale is no different. It opens with a black and white sequence introducing us to our new Bond on an early assignment. It’s slick, gorgeous and to the point. It is a few moments of sheer, noir cool that sets the tone brilliantly for what is to come.

What follows is a classic spy tale, one that takes full advantage of everything you know about Bond. When it’s not busy ignoring some of the clichés of the last 20 films, it gets busy using the remaining ones to its full advantage. There are plenty of inventive fight scenes, beautiful Bond girls, Bond’s trademark use of surrounding environments to incompacitate foes, sweet rides, tuxedos, malevolent villains, and arrogence…a whole lot of arrogence. No, there’s enough classic Bond here to satiate your desire for it, but enough that feels fresh and updated to make you fall in love with Bond all over again.

But that doesn’t by any means mean that everyone will be happy. Anyone in love with the campy goodness that is the bulk of the previous Bond films (particularly everything with and post-Roger Moore) is going to find this film nearly humorless and devoid of some of their favorite elements. And that’s the biggest hurdle this film has to overcome with the audience. Are you ready to buy into a serious Bond, a bond that feels closer to the bastard child of Jason Bourne and Sean Connery’s Bond than it feels like any other portrayal?

I sure was. I absolutely adored this film. It was gritty, raw and the exact kind of slick cool that I want out of a James Bond movie. The tweaks they made to the story (like changing Bakarat to Texas Hold ‘em and changing the modus operondi of Le Chiffre) worked for me. Because there was enough Bond and an adherence to the Novel I so loved in my youth to remind me that this was, in fact, a Bond film. (For fans of the book, it even includes his infamous, bitter final line.)

Daniel Craig is an amazing Bond. His take on the character is a breath of fresh air, focusing more on Bond’s trademark arrogence without ever seeming either sleazy or cheesy. And he’s one tough son of a bitch. This is a very different Daniel Craig than we’ve seen recently. He’s played tough before, but he’s never gotten so physical. It’s like the first time you saw The Transporter or The Bourne Identity and said “Holy shit! He can fight too?!?” Yes, he can.

And Mads Mikkelsen gives a career making performance as one of the best Bond villains ever brought to life on the screen. He’s creepy, unnerving and possesses a quiet menace that truly makes him a worthy opponant for Bond. And, get this, he’s actually got very real motivations. He’s not some rich guy sitting behind a desk ordering goons to kill Bond while he tries to hold the world hostage. He’s actually the guy in the thick of it, sitting right there across the card table from Bond with as much at stake in the game as Bond has.

But as much as I dug this, it’s not without its flaws. One complaint I heard (apart from the general lack of humor) was that there was entirely too much card playing in the movie. And while I am quick to point out that, well, that’s kind of what Casino Royale was fucking all about, I have to admit that some will get fidgety watching these guys try to read one another over the cards. And the film has a strange pacing, that while adhering to the book, steps outside of the classic three-act structure. I mean, it has an entire fourth act. The movie seems done…except that it isn’t. There’s this whole 10 minute lovey-dovey sequence followed by another pair of action sequences that will leave some people wondering when this thing is gonna get around to ending. Especially since it comes in at about two-and-a-half hours. But for my money, the payoff of the final scene of the film is so unrepentantly kickass, that I forgive, and ultimately came to like the slowdown.

And of course there’s that lame ass Chris Cornell Bond song – yet another studio attempt to try and grasp at some of the old crossover hit greats like Live and Let Die, Nobody Does it Better and A View to a Kill. But two points to make about that. One: it’s not nearly as bad as Madonna’s turn at the theme song, simply forgettable – and Two: the intro animation to the film is so unique and so individually badass that it is entirely possible (I know this from experience) to completely tune out the song and simply get wrapped up in the credit sequence. Now that credit sequence screams old school Bond so bad it hurts, and coupled with the killer opening, really gets you pumped and primed for what is to follow.

Ultimately, I really dug the hell out of Casino Royale and for anyone who enjoys Bond, but really is open to a toughened up retooling – this comes Recommended. Taken as a reboot, it’s one hell of a start, and if Craig can keep up this level of intensity for a few more films, he’ll easily be remembered as one of the best of the Bond’s, if not simply Bond to an entire new generation. But it can’t in any way be taken as a continuation of the series, unless you consider it a prequel. And if you’re an old school Bond nut that quotes chapter and verse and feels that an utter lack of Q, gadgets or smirked one liners is a betrayal of the franchise, and would prefer your Royale…with cheese…you’re probably going to be quite let down by Bond 21.

Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.

Massawyrm

Okay, I really must apologize for any pain inflicted by that final pun. It was wrong and I’m sorry. Truly. I know now that I will forever burn in the fires of Gene Shalit hell. E-mail your pained reactions here.


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Reader Talkback

First
by Kentucky Colonel
Nov 13th, 2006
12:11:12 PM
now eat two
by Kentucky Colonel
Nov 13th, 2006
12:12:00 PM
Timothy Dalton 2?
by TheBigDogg
Nov 13th, 2006
12:19:15 PM
So what we have here is...
by Marillion
Nov 13th, 2006
12:19:50 PM
I love Massawyrm reviews. Truly.
by AdrianVeidt
Nov 13th, 2006
12:21:03 PM
Cant Wait
by Captain RawBeard
Nov 13th, 2006
12:21:34 PM
Another very encouraging review...
by Childe Roland
Nov 13th, 2006
12:21:55 PM
You're the bond now, dog
by Pipple
Nov 13th, 2006
12:22:11 PM
Craig's List
by Kentucky Colonel
Nov 13th, 2006
12:27:49 PM
Well
by godzillasushi
Nov 13th, 2006
12:28:09 PM
Ummmm.....
by Kentucky Colonel
Nov 13th, 2006
12:28:47 PM
c'mon man, spellcheck!
by agubie
Nov 13th, 2006
12:30:17 PM
see, it's funny cause it was in Pulp Fiction..
by quadrupletree
Nov 13th, 2006
12:31:24 PM
Can't Fucking Wait!!
by Saracen1
Nov 13th, 2006
12:35:30 PM
Can't wait.
by Banshee7
Nov 13th, 2006
12:39:18 PM
Sorry about the spelling
by Massawyrm 1
Nov 13th, 2006
12:43:34 PM
why can't this guy fucking spell!
by King_Knut
Nov 13th, 2006
12:48:33 PM
Real question is...
by idahomer
Nov 13th, 2006
12:50:13 PM
Long dying?
by CTU Mole
Nov 13th, 2006
12:51:20 PM
half film review/half spelling bee
by kafka07
Nov 13th, 2006
12:52:07 PM
Is there more goodness to be mined from the books?
by Darwyn
Nov 13th, 2006
12:52:31 PM
Wow Kafka...
by Massawyrm 1
Nov 13th, 2006
12:57:47 PM
Why can't...
by Massawyrm 1
Nov 13th, 2006
12:59:29 PM
FUCK the Cornell haters.
by El Scorcho
Nov 13th, 2006
01:09:54 PM
Cool review. Nice one Massa
by Teamwak
Nov 13th, 2006
01:11:12 PM
Very nice review
by georges garvaren
Nov 13th, 2006
01:14:31 PM
No gadgets = Communism
by PwnedByStallone
Nov 13th, 2006
01:14:45 PM
Sweet
by The Dum Guy
Nov 13th, 2006
01:21:23 PM
new Bond, new word
by God Shamgodd
Nov 13th, 2006
01:23:34 PM
Incompacitate?
by Etienne72772
Nov 13th, 2006
01:39:24 PM
Love it.
by Rakafraker
Nov 13th, 2006
01:47:14 PM
Fleming's books are still in print.
by sundancekeed
Nov 13th, 2006
01:48:07 PM
P.S. Wyrm...
by Rakafraker
Nov 13th, 2006
01:48:57 PM
Thunderballs - You may be right
by Teamwak
Nov 13th, 2006
01:52:26 PM
Whoa there Thunderballs!!
by R0BTRAIN
Nov 13th, 2006
02:03:39 PM
Word, Moonraker was the tits.
by Ricky Henderson
Nov 13th, 2006
02:28:14 PM
Great review
by thecheesegrommit
Nov 13th, 2006
02:33:13 PM
Vindicated!! Mwah-ha-haaa!
by Cat_Corporation
Nov 13th, 2006
02:37:28 PM
How's This For The Next Bond Villain...
by ripper t. jones
Nov 13th, 2006
02:42:59 PM
movie sounds great
by Datascream
Nov 13th, 2006
02:43:36 PM
Cat Corperation and Mikkelsen
by Massawyrm 1
Nov 13th, 2006
02:52:09 PM
The Simpsons Movie trailer
by Teamwak
Nov 13th, 2006
02:53:54 PM
Massa...
by Cat_Corporation
Nov 13th, 2006
02:55:43 PM
BOND IMITATING BOURNE IMITATING BOND?
by connor187
Nov 13th, 2006
02:57:23 PM
Why did they never use the John Gardner novels/titles?
by Charles Grady
Nov 13th, 2006
03:03:05 PM
So...it's Badass?
by timmyfugit
Nov 13th, 2006
03:09:34 PM
Jack Palance DIED FRIDAY...
by the_patriot
Nov 13th, 2006
03:12:59 PM
Massawyrm: A Very Important question...
by AdrianVeidt
Nov 13th, 2006
03:14:24 PM
This will f*cking rule!
by R.C. the "Wise"
Nov 13th, 2006
03:19:48 PM
Patriot & Adrianveidt
by Massawyrm 1
Nov 13th, 2006
03:25:50 PM
Moonraker love
by Vergil
Nov 13th, 2006
03:40:17 PM
woo's bond, scott's bond
by cockrockinbeatz
Nov 13th, 2006
03:53:06 PM
Xenia Onatopp!!!
by Zeke25:17
Nov 13th, 2006
04:00:20 PM
Richard Kiel is awesome.
by R0BTRAIN
Nov 13th, 2006
04:01:57 PM
hope Craig won't try to imitate previous Bonds
by Exeter
Nov 13th, 2006
04:03:09 PM
WELL
by THE KNIGHT
Nov 13th, 2006
04:04:37 PM
i love Moonraker, my 3rd favorite Moore Bond
by Exeter
Nov 13th, 2006
04:05:12 PM
Moonraker book was excellent!
by Uncapie
Nov 13th, 2006
04:14:55 PM
Moonraker: Unrealistic, but fun.
by FluffyUnbound
Nov 13th, 2006
04:38:52 PM
Nicking scenes
by King_Knut
Nov 13th, 2006
04:40:17 PM
On Her Majesty's Secret Service
by Kirk's Toupee
Nov 13th, 2006
04:47:02 PM
Sounds like my kind of Bond movie.
by 'Cholera's Ghost
Nov 13th, 2006
04:56:55 PM
So where do they go from here?
by SPECTRE Agent
Nov 13th, 2006
05:03:31 PM
Uwe Boll's take on Bond?
by CreasyBear
Nov 13th, 2006
05:24:14 PM
I'm watching this tomorrow
by Babyshamble
Nov 13th, 2006
05:31:41 PM
no one bashes brosnan
by misnomer
Nov 13th, 2006
05:32:14 PM
how to listen to that Chris Cornell song..
by Amy Chasing
Nov 13th, 2006
05:32:20 PM
Better than George Lazenby!?!
by Billyeveryteen
Nov 13th, 2006
05:37:09 PM
"Long dying? by CTU Mole Nov
by jawsfan
Nov 13th, 2006
05:55:58 PM
Whats next for Bond
by King Willy
Nov 13th, 2006
06:14:40 PM
Space Shuttle
by Anakin Whoopass
Nov 13th, 2006
06:23:48 PM
Tony Scott is a fucking joke
by yepitsme
Nov 13th, 2006
06:31:32 PM
They ran out of adaptable material two bonds ago
by riskebiz
Nov 13th, 2006
06:54:37 PM
I hated Moonraker......
by Jimmy Jazz
Nov 13th, 2006
06:55:38 PM
Crying Game
by King Willy
Nov 13th, 2006
07:03:38 PM
Who above mentioned a Scorsese Bond?
by Orbots Commander
Nov 13th, 2006
07:08:05 PM
Umm....King Willy....
by Jimmy Jazz
Nov 13th, 2006
07:11:44 PM
As far as I'm concerned...
by 433
Nov 13th, 2006
07:20:10 PM
Just remember: Bond films do need a balance of humor
by Exeter
Nov 13th, 2006
07:29:41 PM
Perfume mogul Bijan should be a SMERSH agent.
by Uncapie
Nov 13th, 2006
07:32:30 PM
Fleming Novels left to mine
by frofropimp
Nov 13th, 2006
07:45:46 PM
NOOOO
by King Willy
Nov 13th, 2006
07:45:49 PM
Exeter
by King Willy
Nov 13th, 2006
07:50:42 PM
When I was a kid, I stole a toy version of
by CreasyBear
Nov 13th, 2006
08:29:53 PM
&the real battle is keeping the quality for the sequels
by Exeter
Nov 13th, 2006
08:38:04 PM
Bond Humour
by gildersleeve
Nov 13th, 2006
08:55:56 PM
Do you wanna see a black man lynched
by King Willy
Nov 13th, 2006
09:01:24 PM
Howard Johnson is right! Err... I mean King Willy...
by ckane123
Nov 13th, 2006
09:21:19 PM
Slidewhistle
by ckane123
Nov 13th, 2006
09:24:50 PM
FHoward Johnson and Felix Leiter.
by King Willy
Nov 13th, 2006
09:31:32 PM
You Only Live Twice
by gildersleeve
Nov 13th, 2006
09:37:47 PM
Roald Dahl
by King Willy
Nov 13th, 2006
09:54:57 PM
King Willy
by gildersleeve
Nov 13th, 2006
10:01:49 PM
"Spy Who Love Me/YOLT"
by Uncapie
Nov 13th, 2006
11:25:00 PM
I love James Bond, big time...
by Zardoz
Nov 14th, 2006
12:11:38 AM
Hope they go back to the books again
by Kenny8
Nov 14th, 2006
12:16:43 AM
Remake ALL of Fleming's books?
by Zardoz
Nov 14th, 2006
12:21:30 AM
They could easily re-adapt Fleming's books
by Bazka Berzerker
Nov 14th, 2006
02:17:52 AM
"Written by Paul Haggis" = won't pay for film
by BitterMan23
Nov 14th, 2006
02:48:30 AM
Royale Flush!
by David Frames
Nov 14th, 2006
03:35:36 AM
Craig has zero personality.
by Shermdawg
Nov 14th, 2006
04:22:21 AM
The Spy Who Loved Me...
by Seph_J
Nov 14th, 2006
04:52:57 AM
A-ha, so it's "Licence to Kill II"
by JackPumpkinhead
Nov 14th, 2006
05:30:47 AM
look at the way he efficiently kills people...
by teh ran
Nov 14th, 2006
07:11:09 AM
My introduction to the bond world was
by emeraldboy
Nov 14th, 2006
07:50:46 AM
This Movie Owes a Lot to the Previous 20
by DarfurOnTheRocks
Nov 14th, 2006
08:17:10 AM
Brosnan Ruled
by ChogWolf
Nov 14th, 2006
08:23:28 AM
Don't Call It A Comeback...
by ryanislyin
Nov 14th, 2006
08:25:47 AM
BTW, the director-driven Bond franchise already exists
by Bazka Berzerker
Nov 14th, 2006
08:26:42 AM
I understand Fleming would not allow them to use Spy...
by ckane123
Nov 14th, 2006
08:28:36 AM
What Pun? It wasn't Punny
by hatespeech
Nov 14th, 2006
08:38:04 AM
good review Massa
by filmcoyote
Nov 14th, 2006
08:42:43 AM
Visionary director's Bond?
by Spandau Belly
Nov 14th, 2006
08:49:05 AM
Last night Jonathan Ross had a film 2006 special
by emeraldboy
Nov 14th, 2006
09:36:20 AM
I remember as I young kid going to see
by emeraldboy
Nov 14th, 2006
09:38:13 AM
The only thing that I cant get out of my mind is
by emeraldboy
Nov 14th, 2006
09:49:00 AM
Q is not in it because he wasn't in the book!
by Jugs
Nov 14th, 2006
09:56:16 AM
Sooo...
by choptop
Nov 14th, 2006
10:23:53 AM
Anyone else...
by Chilli815
Nov 14th, 2006
10:42:46 AM
Well I hate to disappoint you Chilli815
by emeraldboy
Nov 14th, 2006
11:57:01 AM
Also .
by emeraldboy
Nov 14th, 2006
11:59:42 AM
On the Bonds after Connery...
by Lobanhaki
Nov 14th, 2006
12:29:30 PM
Daniel Craig
by emeraldboy
Nov 14th, 2006
01:14:07 PM
Anyone up for a Spike Lee Bond?
by Borgnine JR
Nov 14th, 2006
02:29:46 PM
How about a Latin Bond girl named....
by Borgnine JR
Nov 14th, 2006
02:38:15 PM
I Love It When Non-Bond Fans Tell Us...
by Rebeck
Nov 14th, 2006
03:41:01 PM
emeraldboy
by Chilli815
Nov 14th, 2006
03:42:30 PM
Reason for not adapting the Gardner/Benson books
by epitone
Nov 14th, 2006
03:42:49 PM
Rebeck, that's not what people are asking for when they
by FluffyUnbound
Nov 14th, 2006
05:32:32 PM
WAIT . A MINUTE.
by caltsoudas
Nov 14th, 2006
06:17:48 PM
oops
by caltsoudas
Nov 14th, 2006
06:19:19 PM
Also, Rebeck...
by epitone
Nov 14th, 2006
06:58:56 PM
Well, just seen it
by Babyshamble
Nov 14th, 2006
07:34:16 PM
Baccarat gone...
by Kenny8
Nov 14th, 2006
08:46:53 PM
Gunbarrel Opening Sequence...
by Cadillac Jones
Nov 14th, 2006
10:05:29 PM
yeah its there
by Lewster3000
Nov 15th, 2006
02:47:49 AM
Craig is BOND!
by DarthBakpao
Nov 15th, 2006
11:04:58 PM

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