Nov. 10, 2006, 6:46 a.m. CST
by JeanLuc Dickhard
Nov. 10, 2006, 6:49 a.m. CST
I didn't get an invite either and I haven't moved in over 7 years. Just a fluke with Kevin's contact system I'm guessing.
Nov. 10, 2006, 6:51 a.m. CST
Yeah, they're nice
Nov. 10, 2006, 6:56 a.m. CST
Well, why would you be?
Nov. 10, 2006, 6:58 a.m. CST
I'm gonna by this DVD, and you can put that on your f'n front page.
Nov. 10, 2006, 7 a.m. CST
did your invite not appear before or after you started using 'Drew McWeeeny, Los Angeles' rather than 'Moriarty'? It seems that Mori wouldn't be so indignant :-P
Nov. 10, 2006, 7:11 a.m. CST
irredeemable crap. I can't think of any filmmaker who squandered as many opportunities as Kevin Smith has. <p> Smith's only worth is as the ultimate example of 21st century American Man-Child, the aggressively ignorant video-game-playing arrested-adolescent angry infant in an oversized doughy, goateed body.
Nov. 10, 2006, 7:16 a.m. CST
by Spandau Belly
"L'auberge Espangole" and "Les Poupees Russes" also show real time having passed between two films and work as individual films.<br>And of course, the Mad Max series.
Nov. 10, 2006, 7:35 a.m. CST
Rosario Dawson naked in Alexander. I still have never seen it, but am told to, as quickly as humanly possible.
Nov. 10, 2006, 7:49 a.m. CST
LOL, just kidding. You're alright with me. I'll rent this since rosario dawson's in it. I could care less about two dumb slackers.
Nov. 10, 2006, 8:06 a.m. CST
Austin Texas. or has it moved....
Nov. 10, 2006, 8:17 a.m. CST
I left the theater actually proud to be a Kevin Smith fan. His characters are roughly my age. I grew up with people like them. I am people like them. Hell, at 32, I've been in my first real non-nametag job for just over a year. I can relate to the characters and situations (not the donkey show, tho), and can appriciate how they've grown and matured over the years. Kevin's done a terrific job of capturing my generation, and I'm damn sorry to see the Askewniverse end. But damn, what a perfect way to do it.
Nov. 10, 2006, 8:19 a.m. CST
I've totally fucked myself by posting a positive comment on this board, haven't i?
Nov. 10, 2006, 8:24 a.m. CST
discuss how awful the movie is. what garbage
Nov. 10, 2006, 8:38 a.m. CST
if it were not for the really lame musical number of which the only value is the smokin’ hot Dawson dance number in that tight little shirt and the really way drawn out and self indulgent go cart montage scene. I know Smith was paying homage to Butch and Sundance and all that but it was just a very long and unfunny moment in a movie that is wall to wall laughs before and after that point.
Nov. 10, 2006, 8:41 a.m. CST
It's fucking hilarious and adds a realistic depth to characters who would even work great without it!<br> Fuck Tarantino (I had to say that, sorry. But I mean it!)!!!
Nov. 10, 2006, 8:45 a.m. CST
I think that pretty much sums it up. Clerks 2 is mediocre on all levels: as a comedy, as something poignant, and as a movie. Kevin Smith has some clever witty dialogue from time to time, but that’s about all he brings to his films. In Clerks 2 I found that even that was sorely missing. He shot for something meaningful, fell short, and ended up with a very uneven average movie.
Nov. 10, 2006, 8:46 a.m. CST
You are so wrong. I don't have a goatee.
Nov. 10, 2006, 9:02 a.m. CST
Dogma is by far his worst film. He was far to pussy to make that movie as controversial and meaningful as it needed to be or could have been. Jay and Silent Bob Strike back is a close 2nd.
Nov. 10, 2006, 9:01 a.m. CST
Clerks was a crappy film that had some very good moments. Viewers tolerated the overall crappiness and praised the good moments because it was obviously a low budget film. Now Kevin is a “seasoned” director who can spend millions on putting a decent film together but we still get a hunk shit with a few good moments in it (skittles?). If ANY other director put this movie out, they would be universally panned for their effort. Moriarty, you know this to be true. People want to like Kevin Smith because he has a Cinderella story. But he has made seven films now and he still hasn’t improved very much as a director since the Mallrats days. Do you secretly think that Kevin is retarded and anything that he does is acceptable as long as he doesn’t shit himself? It seems like it. But that’s ok. Kevin is really one of us. Because we all deep down want to direct romantic comedies about family tragedy and we all openly believe that Ben Affleck is the best actor ever. Oh, and, I would lick Rosario Dawson’s toilet seat. Just thought that I would throw that out there.
Nov. 10, 2006, 9:35 a.m. CST
by Osmosis Jones
Nov. 10, 2006, 9:33 a.m. CST
I saw this opening night. You could hear a pin drop in the theater. Who is Kevin Smith blowing on this site anyway? Clerks 2 couldn't have sucked more.
Nov. 10, 2006, 10:13 a.m. CST
by Captain Mal
You've got to be kidding me. I saw this on opening weekend, and ended up missing half the jokes because the audience was roaring so loud. Yes, I'm sure it was all the Smith fanboys who had come out for the premiere, but no way in hell do I believe you sat in a silent theatre on opening night.
Nov. 10, 2006, 10:26 a.m. CST
There was a nearly 60 year old black man in the theater we saw Clerks 2 in and he was laughing so hard at the porch monkey jokes I think he nearly pissed himself. We were talking to him after the flick and he had not seen a single other Smith film except the first Clerks.
Nov. 10, 2006, 10:33 a.m. CST
smith just threw it all against the wall and saw what stuck. unfortunately, it got so gross and abstract that in the end, it felt really pointless. most people didn't laugh at the screening i went to, and a girl in a wheelchair ended up leaving 10 minutes in after the 'crip boy' joke. i thought it was a better buddy film than a comedy.
Nov. 10, 2006, 10:40 a.m. CST
she is soooo white in /all/ the marketing for this film....it can't be anything but intentional...really disapointing...
Nov. 10, 2006, 10:44 a.m. CST
Ditto on the opening night, hysterical laughter. I don't know WTF Lucasblows is talking about. Some of the gags just fucking sucked. The donkey show was just weird. The Elias pussy troll...not good. Virtually everything else was killer.
Nov. 10, 2006, 10:54 a.m. CST
The Mr. Pillow pants story was one of the funniest moments in any of Kevin Smith's movies for the look of disbelief Randal had on his face alone.
Nov. 10, 2006, 11:01 a.m. CST
That's so fucking silly. It may have worked with some other name, but McWeeny? Come on, it just sounds funny
Nov. 10, 2006, 11:11 a.m. CST
There hasn't been a more mismatched couple than Dante and Rosario Dawson since Ron Jeremy's last porn scene.
Nov. 10, 2006, 11:21 a.m. CST
That was my experience with the film. I loved the first Clerks but this just sucked. Kevin Smith's ass is unjustifiably licked on this website and the "Porch Monkey" dialogue some of the most forced Kevin Smith has ever written (and that is saying something).
Nov. 10, 2006, 11:26 a.m. CST
Try Kevin Smith and his wife.
Nov. 10, 2006, 11:29 a.m. CST
to go ass to mouth. Best Line in a movie ever period.
Nov. 10, 2006, 11:39 a.m. CST
No one gives two squirts if you were invited to the screening or not. You are nobody. Just get to the review, partner.
Nov. 10, 2006, 11:50 a.m. CST
Does every reviewer on this site labour under the false notion that their audience <i>wants</i> to skim over the first three paragraphs of irrelevant egocentric personal shit to get to the review?<br> <br> When Harry does it, it's bearable because it's almost an unspoken apology for being such a lousy critic. But when Mori does it, it's so forced that you almost wonder if Harry has asked him to tack on some personal shit at the beginning because that's the AICN 'schtick'.
Nov. 10, 2006, 12:11 p.m. CST
But boy was the "Ass to Mouth" dialogue ever forced...All around I enjoyed the film, though I wouldn't say its his best to date. That award still goes to Chasing Amy. Clerks (1) Mallrats and Chasing Amy were all very personal films where he was drawing on his personal experiences growing up in Jersy and hanging out in the mall and working at dead-end jobs and so on...Jay and Sinelt Bob Strike Back was a lot of fun but it was a little goofy to fit in the same catergory as the others, and Clerks 2 felt like it was Kevin Smith trying to show us what he THINKS it might have been like to be stuck in the same crappy job 10 yrs later...the problem is that Kevin didn't get stuck in a dead-end job so he has no perspective to make a movie like this...I still laughed my ass off, but I think he needs to make something in a different genre now...we know he can do comedy.
Nov. 10, 2006, 12:27 p.m. CST
Everyone was cracking up.
Nov. 10, 2006, 1:51 p.m. CST
and i'm a huge smith fan. seen every movie, loved dogma i dont know wtf you guys are talking about on that one, and i thought j&sb was classic, although i saw a rough cut early so it was a much raunchier cut than the one that got released wide, hell i even like jersey girl (george c especially). they're all good, but something rubbed me the wrong way with clerks 2. #1, they werent even clerks, they were fast food attendants. #2, the acting was much worse than normal, and #3 the casting of mrs. smith was vomit inducing. i wish i could go off on a tangent a spew point after point, but the bottom line is i havent seen this turd since opening night and i smoke waaay too much of the sticky icky to remember. there was so many other ways he could have "fleshed" out the story of our two heroes and he chose to rehash every fucking movie he's ever done. the plot was jacked right outta mallrats. kid#1 wants to marry girl#1, was going to propose in orlando... but i think this time he used miami, it all felt too familiar, and i dont mean using the same takes, actors, and delivery of the jokes. smith, i hope to god, hasnt peaked, and he just wanted to make a safe (if you can call man on donkey sex safe) film after the crap he took for jersey girl. the man is way too rich & successful to be this touchy about what other people say. i'll see every one of this dudes flicks as they come down the pipe, i owe him atleast that for giving us jason lee, but jeezus, i hope this dude learns to just trust his big godzilla sized gut.
Nov. 10, 2006, 1:54 p.m. CST
by The Funketeer
Since you seem to be reviewing just the disc and not the movie, how about a link to your original reviews of the movies if they exist. I'd assume you like most of these DVDs since you shelled out money for them but it'd still be interesting to revisit your thoughts.
Nov. 10, 2006, 1:59 p.m. CST
This definitely has to go into my list of all time disappointments. In fact, it hovers somewhere between The Matrix Reloaded and Terminator 3. Dang. Sadly, it was a film that I really WANTED to enjoy.
Nov. 10, 2006, 2:24 p.m. CST
Why do we watch Kevin Smith's movies? Dick and fart jokes! Oh yeah and Mewes. Why don't you all get off your high horses and watch the movie for what it is. Has Smith made better movies? Of course, but what did you expect from "Clerks 2" and oscar nod? Come on, and if I was Kevin and had a wife as good looking (well, for Kevin anyways) as she is, I would put her in every movie I made too. Just take solace in the fact there is no MMAATTTT DDAAMMOONN in this movie.
Nov. 10, 2006, 2:39 p.m. CST
Shite with a couple of nice lines here and there (as pretty much expected by this point), but shite nonetheless. <p>But really, was that much of a surprise? I mean everything since Chasing Amy has been varying degrees of shite, and Smith's only trick has worn way old by this point, as his skills as a 'director' or writer continue to stagnate at best. <p>Yeah, we get it, you can write snippets of funny dialogue here and there, how about trying something else for a change (and something that isn't putridly sappy shit that would make even Disney puke). Or maybe he could actually learn how to use the visual medium and actually direct. You know, just a thought.<p>And anyone who thinks that this is the end of Smith's little ViewAskewniverse or whatever the hell it's called is toking some serious crack, he'll go back to that well because, well that's pretty much all he does. Mister One Trick, your fucking pony is waiting...
Nov. 10, 2006, 3:03 p.m. CST
by Kentucky Colonel
I love Kevin. Seen all his films except for Jersey Girl. Hell, I saw JSBSB like 7 times in the theater (mostly at the drive in). I've got the first 5 on DVD. Clerks II blew chunks. There were maybe three good laughs in the film. I think he's through. And being a shill for Jay Leno dosen't help at all. J.L.A's tits in Mallrats are better than RD's anyday. Kev...try for another Dogma or something...leave the romantic comedy shit at home woth your tomboy-beanpole wife (ain't nuttin wrong with that). And don't be a Tim Burton and cast her in everything....that's just annoying.
Nov. 10, 2006, 3:26 p.m. CST
by Doomius 2.0
Nov. 10, 2006, 3:35 p.m. CST
Clerks II was hardly perfect (it sometimes had an uneven feel as it went from crude comedy to character drama). However, I think it got things mostly right. I actually felt like Smith had more to do with Dante and Randal as characters, which was the major triumph of the film. I like to look at the movie as a metaphor for Kevin Smith's recent career choices. He made Jersey Girl becuase he thought it was time to grow up (similar to Dante leaving for Florida), but ultimately he realized that he could have it both ways: doing something he loved while making a movie about growing up and taking responsibilities (similar to Dante getting his old job back and raising a family).
Nov. 10, 2006, 4:22 p.m. CST
Jack Palance has died http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061110/ap_on_en_tv/obit_palance
Nov. 10, 2006, 4:34 p.m. CST
Most of kevin Smith's movies are so cringe-worthy I wouldn't subject my worst enemy t them. Tons of people tell me to my face how "great" Kevin Smith's movies are, and those people generally look and act like Kevin Smith. <p> Every actor in this flick, except Dawson, was terrible. Bad line delivery. No charisma. Not one moment did I believe Rosario's character could fall for that fool main character. See? So forgetable I can't remember the names of the characters. The only memorable part was watching Dawson jiggle around on the roof. <p> Smith's only decent flick was Chasing Amy.
Nov. 10, 2006, 4:37 p.m. CST
http://www.sanluisobispo.com/mld/sanluisobispo/news/15982993.htm fuckin sucks ass.
Nov. 10, 2006, 4:36 p.m. CST
Too bad about Palance. The guy was a legend.
Nov. 10, 2006, 4:45 p.m. CST
"Day ain't over yet..."
Nov. 10, 2006, 5:14 p.m. CST
Then you are fucking stupid.
Nov. 10, 2006, 5:20 p.m. CST
Now I know why you ahet K Smith and his films.. You've been away for like a year off of this planet doing dick impersonations... You just saw the Optimus flames or are you just that retarded that it just appeared in your head and you went "oh! flames... niiiiiiceee" Clerks 2 was good, very good, and for you all that think that K Smith had missed his career as a filmaker, well all I can say is that he's sitting at home writting scripts that are being made into movies, and you all are sitting home touching yoursleves in places the donkey would'nt lick... It was good, he makes is movies like that he likes doing them like that and we liked his movies like that... Hell he made a grat film in Jersey Girl, but heck everybody pissed on it because of Jlo, fuck how can anyone say that, being a father I know what the character goes thru by making the hard decision of either going for the big job, or fuck it all and keep the job that will keep you close to your little girl. Now he goes back, and he gets crapped on? C'mon... It was great, the "Porch monkey" thing, the whole huge Clit, the donkey, the great bounce (in a scene that I would've classified as the weak moment if not for Dawson's "talent") you have to say that he captures the greatness in the guys we all know that are still doing the same shit as in high school, yes it's immature, but wothout those guys life would be soooo fu**ing boring... Hell ya to Clerks 2 and I'll add it to my collection.
Nov. 10, 2006, 6:51 p.m. CST
Only a moron thinks differently.
Nov. 10, 2006, 7:53 p.m. CST
I used to like Kevin Smith and View Askew until I saw Borat and realised that Smith is only a shadow of the daring and intelligence of Cohen. Smith is the slacker who's playing like he's insightful and has a voice. Seeing the real thing today while watching Borat made me realise that View Askew is just a big waste of time. Kind of like the Jean Claude Van Damme to the Jet Li and Jackie Chan.
Nov. 10, 2006, 8:02 p.m. CST
by The Wrong Guy
...which is what I was expecting. Better than Jersey Girl, that's for sure.
Nov. 10, 2006, 11:45 p.m. CST
It seems most of them are fucking stupid. I think the nicest part of this movie was the maturing and final closure for Randall & Dante. It was honest, and that's where the movie shined. That and the pussy troll was funny as fuck. Fuck you guys.
Nov. 10, 2006, 11:51 p.m. CST
-Smith's wife was atrocious, and brought down every scene she appeared in -too many pensive moments with nothing happening. works for some directors, but not Smith -poor direction, even for a Smith film (see the outdoor confrontation between Randall and Dante) -It annoyed me to no end how Smith completely misused Talking Heads' "(Nothing But) Flowers". It's not a warm, nostalgic song about Middle America. Didn't care for how he used Smashing Pumpkins' "1979" either
Nov. 10, 2006, 11:52 p.m. CST
the musical number needed to be cut. Impromptu musical numbers were overused to death on American sitcoms during the late 90's
Nov. 11, 2006, 3:08 a.m. CST
The dude had a chance to redeem himself with Clerks 2, but failed miserably. He has proven in the past that he can make amusing movies (Clerks, Mallrats,Dogma and to a lesser extent Chasing Amy), but now he is lost. If he thinks that dick and fart jokes make a movie funny he is sadly mistaken. I really want to see him direct a funny movie without dick and fart jokes, because I think he is able to do that. I mean, take a look at the Star Wars rant in Chasing Amy. No dick and fart jokes there but one of the funniest things I have ever seen in any movie.
Nov. 11, 2006, 4:49 a.m. CST
one of his piece of shit movies instead of the original Clerks. It will always be compared to the original. Face it. Clerks 2 was a not that good. I smiled once. That was when it ended. I am glad that some people enjoyed it.
Nov. 11, 2006, 8 a.m. CST
Wow, it's overwhelming. I saw the first Clerks when I got home from working at a gas station/convenience store one Friday night and it happened to be on late-night TV. I enjoyed it more than I've enjoyed most flicks I've seen in my life and continue to enjoy it now. Clerks II was one of the funniest movies I've ever seen in a theatre (my girlfriend agrees, she was losing her mind during a lot of the jokes), and I thought the ending was perfect. I'm not at that stage in my life yet so I really can't tell you if I'd identify with it as much as I did the original when I was in that exact same mindset/situation, but I definitely enjoyed the flick. Taking what's meant to be an entertaining movie that is empathetic towards its characters that drastically (either good or bad) really, really confuses me. This is like referencing Weird Science in conversations about metaphysics or something, just weird.
Nov. 11, 2006, 11:53 a.m. CST
Any deleted scenes? I thought there was 35 minutes worth.
Nov. 11, 2006, 4:59 p.m. CST
by Bob Cryptonight
HIS take on CLERKS 2!
Nov. 11, 2006, 11:32 p.m. CST
the only worthwhile thing to come out of Smith's movies.
Nov. 27, 2006, 2:48 a.m. CST
Funny how everyone's all over the map on Smith, with maybe only agreement on AMY. I disliked DOGMA on just about every level, a no more a high minded self reflection of faith than his donkey show. But STRIKE BACK was prime stuff. Even JERSY was watchable fluff. Rosario just about saved CLERKS 2 from being self-indulgent dreck. The low budget stuff seems to me cultish uneven film school fodder. BTW, does anyone still question how much input Smith had on writing GOODWILL HUNTING? The diner scene looks straight out Smith to me. I mean what has Daffleck written since, other than their State Store lists? Just seems so incongruous. (Off topic rant) The GOODWILL cast 'made' that film which, IMHO, was a satisfying, but overt rip-off of ORDINARY PEOPLE. Including maybe the phoniest 'breakthrough moment'in Hollywood shrinkdom. The climax exactly copied OP, but didn't work because Timothy Hutton really DID blame himself for surviving the accident. And that root cause wasn't so obvious that it DID feel like an intuitive breakthrough. Sure, Will had a certain degree of self loathing under that bluster, but the big realization, the film's orgasmic finale, felt forced and hit a sour note, big time. Let's put it his way... if you admired OP and minored in Psych, you're yelling, "OH C'MON! You're gonna give THAT ending an Oscar?" But hey, Kev/Ben/Matt, the rubes bought it. It's not your fault. It's not your fault.