I am – Hercules!! Because Kazakhstan is big, Sacha Baron Cohen will turn up as Borat on SNL tonight. The Englisher Hugh Laurie (“House”) hosts. Beck is the musical guest. *** Six things I found funny last week: * “Oh, I get it. Sort of how like the Ye Olde Apothecary is really the bathrooms.” “No. I actually wanted to talk to you about that too.” * The speed with which Amy Poehler fled the Update desk for marijuana-friendly Colorado. “My Dearest Seth. It pains me that I did not get a chance to say goodbye, but you’ve known since you met me that I would gladly trade our friendship for an ounce of hassle-free weed.” * “Y’know, just plain old ‘manager’ would be fine.” * “Brobiz before showbiz!” “Man, you guys are delightful. Now which one of y’all got my check?” * “Bad news? Have they stopped eating?” * “Well, yes, we’ve all lost something to the bearshark. I myself have lost my hand and my virginity.” 11:30 p.m. Saturday. NBC.

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