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Showtime Launches MASTERS OF HORROR 2.X!!
SPOILER ALERT !!
I am – Hercules!!
Showtime’s “Masters of Horror” kicks off with 13 new episodes, and just in time for Halloween!
Here’s who masters the horror this year:
1) “The Damned Thing,” directed by Tobe Hooper (“The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”) from a teleplay by R.C. Matheson (“Loose Cannons”).
2) “Family,” directed by John Landis (“An American Werewolf in London”) from a teleplay by Brent Hanley (“Frailty”).
3) “The V Word,” directed by Ernest Dickerson (“Bones,” “Demon Knight”) from a teleplay by Mick Garris (“Critters 2,” “Hocus Pocus”).
4) “Sounds Like,” written and directed by Brad Anderson (“The Machinist”).
5) “Pro-Life,” directed by John Carpenter (“Halloween”) from a teleplay by longtime Ain’t It Cool contributors Drew McWeeny and Scott Swan (the season-one episode “Cigarette Burns”).
6) “Pelts,” directed by Dario Argento (“Suspira”) from a teleplay by Matt Venne (“White Noise 2”).
7) “The Screwfly Solution,” directed by Joe Dante (“Gremlins”) from a teleplay by Sam Hamm (“Batman,” “Monkeybone”).
8) “Valerie on the Stairs,” written and directed by Mick Garris (“Critters 2,” “Riding The Bullet”).
9) “We Scream For Ice Cream,” directed by Tom Holland (“Child’s Play”) from a teleplay by David J. Schow (“The Crow”).
10) “The Black Cat,” directed by Stuart Gordon (“Re-Animator”) from a teleplay by Gordon and Dennis Paoli (“Body Snatchers”).
11) “The Washingtonians,” directed by Peter Medak (“The Changeling”) from a teleplay by actor Johnathon Schaech (“That Thing You Do!”) & Richard Chizma.
12) “Right To Die,” directed by Bob Schmidt (“Wrong Turn”).
13) “Dream Cruise,” directed by Norio Tsuruta ("Ringu 0: Bâsudei," "Premonition") from a teleplay by Tsuruta and Naoya Takayama ("Ringu: Saishûshô").
Learn more about the episodes here.
The New York Times says:
… for my money, the most gruesome sight in Mr. Hooper’s entry is a scene where a young man suddenly takes a hammer, haphazardly, to his own face and head. He doesn’t stop till he’s dead. The spontaneous madness that drives him to this suicide seems more horrifying, somehow, than the epicurean calculation of a full-dress villain like Hannibal Lecter. Maybe it depends on whether you like your monsters socially powerful or powerless, in control or anarchic.
But the powerful self-thrashing scene is only a sidebar to the predictably muddled action in “The Damned Thing,” which bops around various houses, chronicling waves of demonic possession in a small Texas town. The creature doing the possessing is a big, bloblike thing; pop psych would tell you it’s something repressed (Waco?) making its inevitable reappearance. The soundtrack to this movie is thunder, lightning and crashes, and the lights are kept low, even before the electricity cuts off. The effect of the loud sounds and low light is too much vérité for adequately stylized horror. “The Damned Thing” might be an underwritten war movie. It all seems to happen in a fog. …
The Seattle Post-Intelligencer says:
… I served more time watching a few chapters of season two of "Masters of Horror," debuting the first -- and possibly the worst -- of 13 one-hour episodes tonight. "Masters of Horror" is an anthology series that you desperately want to be better than it is. … Season one began ably enough with "Phantasm," director Don Coscarelli's "Incident on and off a Mountain Road," which took the horror cliche of a beautiful woman terrorized by a cleaver-wielding psycho and turned it on its ear. Coscarelli's episode was an exception. Out of 13 promised hours, about half were pointless, and the one that promised to be shocking and gruesome to make it all worth it, Takashi Miike's "Imprint," was evidently too outrageous for television. Even for a premium cable channel that, let's be real, almost nobody watches. … Tobe Hooper gives us one of J.R. Ewing's fever visions. The hour is called "The Damned Thing" and is so creatively hollow that you'll almost expect Scooby-Doo, Velma and the rest of the gang to squeal by in the Mystery Machine. Ted Raimi and Sean Patrick Flanery are in it, and should be very sad that their names will be eternally linked to it on imdb.com.
The Washington Times says:
… Showtime's "Masters of Horror" anthology series purports to let horror's brightest stars scare us anew. The fact is, the horror genre has precious few stars in its galaxy. The series' second season premiere, alas, is a case in point. … Mr. Hooper's camera work is as frenzied as that of any neophyte, and the installment is a frightless way to start the new season. Next week's episode, "The Family," fares better. It begins with a jarring set piece as good as anything you'll find at the movies.
The New York Press says:
… There once was a time when premium cable was considered exactly that—premium, first class, the best. In short, it was superior to the network television that commoners watched when they couldn’t splurge for the topnotch stuff. But Showtime’s “Masters of Horror” series, which is inexplicably back for a second season with 13 new one-hour episodes, falls below par. … The episode titled “Family” aims for the eerie suburbia captured by The Stepford Wives and the deluded fantasy of Psycho, but it is outright laughable—as in, I found myself thinking that the series might be an intentional joke. … It’s hard to believe that “The Damned Thing” is directed by Tobe Hooper of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This one is a cross between The Shining and Swamp Thing. With choice scenes—like when one dude’s insides become outsides or when a cop accidentally rips a chick in half—this episode is absolutely incoherent. …
10 p.m. Friday. Showtime.
What book about Stanley Kubrick could possibly be worth $200? How about The Stanley Kubrick Archives
??
Alan Moore's Lost Girls!!
But the powerful self-thrashing scene is only a sidebar to the predictably muddled action in “The Damned Thing,” which bops around various houses, chronicling waves of demonic possession in a small Texas town. The creature doing the possessing is a big, bloblike thing; pop psych would tell you it’s something repressed (Waco?) making its inevitable reappearance. The soundtrack to this movie is thunder, lightning and crashes, and the lights are kept low, even before the electricity cuts off. The effect of the loud sounds and low light is too much vérité for adequately stylized horror. “The Damned Thing” might be an underwritten war movie. It all seems to happen in a fog. …
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... definately the best of the first season. Im still searching everywhere for a print of La Fin Absolue du Monde.
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But for me no other ep lived up to that one. The Dante show was pretty good though.
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I'm mildly interested in Brad Anderson's entry, 'cause The Machinist was really good. But the series really should be called "Directors You Thought Were Masters of Horror...Until Now." Or just Punk'd.
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Unsex me now!
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The first season was an abomination, and it seems the second season won't be much better. That begs the question, "What's almost better than a sin against the Lord, our God?" Answer: Really, really, really bad, but not, you know, "Holocaust Bad".
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has Jeffrey Combs playing Edgar A Poe. Which is inspired casting and now means he's played two of my favorite authors.
I can only pray that this season is better than the last one. -
was prob the best of the first season with "Cigarette Burns" coming in a close second. Looks like they went a little safer with their Asian director this time.
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I mean, I can hope, can't I? Not even "Imprint" was worth a shit.
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Hardly surprising given what happened last season. Although really, what did they expect would occur when you gave a certifiable lunatic free-reign and a wad of cash?
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What's up with that?
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Still haven't seen the Miike ep yet..
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The Argento and Carpenter episodes. Will Misty Mundae be in any of these?
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Which one is he then?
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There are some classic, classy directors with gobs of tallent in that mix, but a director needs good source material. Aside from Hanley, whose "Fraility" is so underrated it hurts, and Brad ("Session 9" "the Wire") Anderson who is writing this stuff? The guy that did "Critters 2" and "Hocus Pocus" has two episodes! The closest Samm Hamm has come to horror outside this series is "R.L. Stine's Haunted Lighthouse." Even Scoresee would have problems making "Maid in Manhattan" fly. *** Here are two ideas for season 3. Get great horror writers to contribute stories and screenplays, not just the guys who drove "the Grudge" series into the ground with a million sequels. Another option is to get some young writers a break, like they did with Mori. Tell a young writer "Ok, we need a horror story for Joe Dante" and if they are worth anything they take this big break and run with it. They seem to be doing that with Matt Venne and Mori. How about expanding on that idea, or combining the two? Alternate a great author/director pairing with a first time feature writer. Anything to improve the material.
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Somebody dies. "I'm looking for a movie, a EVVVIIIILL movie". Not here, where do I go now? Ok, I'll go there. Somebody dies. "I'm looking for a movie, a EVVVIIIILL movie". Not here, where do I go now? Somebody dies. I found the movie!!! There goes his eyes. What up dad. The end.
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Oct 27, 2006 6:20:43 PM CDT
Where's A Clive Barker Story? A Lovecraft Story?
by neo con snake plissken
The four best stories in Masters of horror were Haeckel's Tale, Cigarette Burns, Imprint and Dreams In The Witch House. Everything else was utter shite. Especially that stupid Joe Dante liberal love fest. WTF was that? Oooh. Yeah. We've never heard the liberal douche point of view in cinema or TV before. Get a fucking clue Dante. Some of us are sick of hearing it.
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mad about that dante ep
i wish he'd do a continuation of that story so they can get even more upset! -
Family and Screwfly sound promising (if only because of the people associated with them)... but it looks like we get at least two political shitfests this season. People... this is motherfucking HORROR - you're supposed to be brooding, scary, disgusting, and horrible... leave your politics at home because it really dosn't make for entertaining or successful horror. Just look at the asstastic Homecoming from last season. More Cigarette Burns and Imprint, please.
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Horror Motion Pictures Books and Television Series Should be POLITICAL if that is What's Best for The STORY. Like say George Romero Living Dead Films!!
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Oct 28, 2006 12:29:34 AM CDT
not only have they made white noise 2, ive seen it!
by s0nicdeathmonkey
and its even worse than you could ever imagine.
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Do not waste your time even thinking about Masters of Horror this season. It would be a waste of indignation on something totally underserving of your attention. You're not gonna like it, and it's not good enough of show to matter. Your anger just makes more people who wouldn't normally watch it become more interested.
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Oct 28, 2006 12:42:33 AM CDT
so, the guy who directed bones is a master of horror?
by s0nicdeathmonkey
why not just give UWE BOLL an episode already! i'm sure it wouldn't lower the quality level of the episodes much.
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It was really boring and didn't make any sense. An oil monster? Didn't we already cover this ground in Phantoms with Ben Afleck? And how come the oil made everybody nuts? Psychic oil?
Fucking stupid. -
Yeah, politics are interesting in horror, and I love the Romero quadrilogy & all it's offshoots, but...
It's only ONE POLITICAL POINT OF VIEW. It's always the left's point of view and I aready get it.
Ooooh. Land of the Dead was essentially: Zombies are the "poor underclass liberators" helping the living "workers" from the eeeevil "White Bourgeose Capitalists" - Typical Marxists Theory. How original. Too bad those theories don't work in the real world. Only in George Romero's Socialist Zombie Land does it hold water.
So, yes, I like politics in Horror, but it's always the same shit, over and over and over.
Name me one HORROR movie that proports the conservative point of view and not the socialist one?
And no, The Passion of the Christ dosen't count. That was just a whackjob anti-jewish snuff film. Mel Gibson is a fuckface. -
There is a Clive Barker story in the second season. It's called VALERIE ON THE STAIRS and is based on an unpolished thing he's had lying around for a decade. Problem is that Mick Fucking Garris wrote the script and directed it, guaranteeing its epic suckage.
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***SPOILER (if you care)***
That Tobe Hooper episode was written by Richard Christian Matheson based on an Ambrose Bierce story, and it still managed to have a cartoonish oil monster in it. Sheesh. -
What a great horror palette cleanser that is; it hit the Reset button in my brain and made me forget all the '70s remakes and PG-13 J-horror of late (nevermind that Changeling still sports an "R"). Step 1: write a script rather than a list of instructions to the CG department. Step 2: hire an honest-to-god grown up Actor.
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I was duped into renting them, thinkin I might hit on at least one. Nope. 1st one, cigarette burns, was OK, better than your average Carpenter fare from the last 15 years. Other than that, the Lovecraft one and the Zombie Soldier one were less that entertaining, with 'Homecoming' being really very amature, cheap and vapid. Solid in concept only. Poor execution in the series that I saw leads me to believe I gave them 3 tries, and that is all they will get.
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What would that be? Something where a rich guy comes in and saves the world? Watch Batman or something, then. Oh, maybe a movie where zombies and humans eventually co-exist because supply-side economics balances out the brain-eating vs. living markets. And besides, aren't people killed in horror movies for doing drugs and having sex (which I'm told are no-nos for conservatives, but Rush Limbaugh and Mark Foley might disagree)? Here's a clue: It doesn't matter if it's "liberal" or "conservative." If it's ENTERTAINING then it's worth watching. If it's a thinly-disguised lecture that's sold as something else, then it'll suck.
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Halloween would qualify in that no-no conservative category. Didn't you hear it was Mark Foley under the Shatner mask?
Anyway, why does it have to be a rich guy? Most rich guys feel guilty about the money they have, so they tend to be leftists. Yes, Batman is not a leftist, but Bruce Wayne is. Regardless, I don't think it has to be thinly-disguised. Look at Aliens. Bad-ass marines are the heroes. A group of collective bloodthirsty antagonists are trying to kill them all. The biggest hero of the film is a headstrong woman warrior who wants to protect her newly adopted daughter. What could be more conservative than that?
Do you see any films hollywood produces now which portrays our fighting men and women in a positive light? Or is even up to the caliber of an Aliens?
Did all good film storytelling die with Lord of the Rings? -
I haven't seen many war movies, but I think the current trend is to use FX to make war as "real" as possible. I guess when we're tired of CGI tanks and planes, they might get back to stories. Of course, the bulk of those from the 80's/90's just seemed to take the "raw deal" idea from cop movies (i.e. our protagonist is "betrayed" by his/her superiors) and apply it to the military. Not sure where that falls on some folks' political radar, but then again, not everything is political.
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'Most rich guys feel guilty about the money they have, so they tend to be leftists'. Look, you seem like a nice kid, but... are you fucking kidding? Please, please read the paper, go outside, take a bike ride.. just get out from whatever rock you live under. Sheezus, even the most proudly conservative Republican would find that statement patently ridiculous. But I guess you'd have to be pretty averse to reality to trumpet being a 'Neo Con' at this point. Their policies have wrought bigger government, insane spending, a reckless foreign policy, and a mismanagement of military resources that has unnecessarily jeopardized our troops and weakened our standing in the world. Not much to be proud of. If you care about our 'fighting men and women', you might want to read FIASCO by Thomas Ricks (hardly a liberal pacifist) and get back to me about how much this administration cares about our troops. Stop eating up the party line and start paying attention, for christ's sake.
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....allowing anyone else to have a point of view or an opinon that doesn't go with their party line. Scary!
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Her name is Clare and she was my lab partner in Astronomy class in 2002. Hot hot hot! She is due to get all kinds of nekkid in this episode. I'm staying home to watch!
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Your Aliens analysis is flawed because it overlooks one of the major causes in the story: industrial greed. Why are the bravery and lives of the marines being wasted? To enrich a mega-congomerate.
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Wasn't a cat. That Darned Cat... get it? Get it? I crack myself up. Kind of a wasted episode. Decent Shinning-ish set up that doesn't go anywhere (a CG oil monster that tracks down and eats people like Jaws: The Revenge). The oil monster genre has been dead since Affleck was the Bomb in Phantoms.
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