I am – Hercules!! Sirius Satellite Radio is via the Internets today and Thursday making available Howard Stern’s uncensored Howard 100 and Howard 101 channels in a free online trial offer. Wednesday will see the premiere of “The Bitter Half” (a.k.a. “Really Desperate Housewives”), a “radio sitcom” written and directed by Sam Simon, who masterminded “The Simpsons” during its first six years or so. Comedy supergenius Norm Macdonald got to hear “The Bitter Half” before the rest of us and apparently declared it hilarious. Thursday will greet a roast of Stern’s horsetoothed bore of a producer, Gary “Baba Booey” Dell’Abate, a man familiar to the receiving end of savage mockery. The roast is headlined by Colin Quinn, who had me in tears during the roast of Stern’s halfwit limo driver a couple months back. Stern’s five-hour daily show, one of Herc’s favorite things in life, begins live at 6 a.m. ET / 3 a.m. PT Monday through Thursday, and is repeated all day and all night around the clock until the next live show begins. If you own a computer with working speakers, you’ll want to sign up for the free two-day trial here!

”Owwwwwww My God!! Oh Dear Lord, Oh God, Mother of All Things Holy!! Please Let This Nightmare Stop!! My Ass Is Fire!! My Ass Is Fire!!!!!! Owwwwwwww!!!! My Ass Is No More; It Has Been Replaced By Fire!!!!!”

Howard Stern played a cut from Norm Macdonald’s new comedy album that made me laugh so hard I nearly passed out. It starred Will Ferrell (doing his Harry Carey voice) and Norm re-enacting the first time two men decided to have sex with each other. Kindly seek it out and listen. It costs $11.97 and is worth twice that price for “World’s First Two Gay Guys” alone.

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