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#30 10/18/06 #5

The Pull List(Click title to go directly to the review) ESSENTIAL MARVEL HORROR Vol 1 ABSOLUTE SANDMAN Vol 1 ZOMBEE GN THE OMEGA MEN #1 HELLSTORM: SON OF SATAN #1 WILDCATS: WORLDSTORM #1 Big Eyes For the Cape Guy presents KUROSAGI CORPSE DELIVERY SERVICE Vol 1 Big Eyes For the Cape Guy presents AIRGEAR Vol 1 Big Eyes For the Cape Guy presents OHIKKOSHI Vol 1 Indie Jones presents DAMNED #1 Indie Jones presents Crispin Hellion Glover’s RAT CATCHING Indie Jones presents 12 REASONS WHY I LOVE HER OGN Indie Jones presents… CHEAP SHOTS! A Halloween Message from Squashua.


Writers: Gary Friedrich, Steve Gerber, Mike Friedrich, Chris Claremont, John Warner, Bill Mantlo, Roy Thomas, Tony Isabella Artists: Tom Sutton, Syd Shores, Jim Mooney, Herb Trimpe, Frank Chiaramonte, Sal Trapani, Gene Colan, Mike Esposito, Sal Buscema, Al McWilliams, Joe Giella, Bob McLeod, Dan Green, Sonny Trinidad, P. Craig Russell, Ed Hannigan, Russ Heath, John Tartaglione, Vince Colletta, John Romita, Esteban Maroto, Pablo Marcos, Enrique Romero, Pat Broderick, The Crusty Bunkers, George Evans, The Tribe, Vincente Alcazar, Mike Vosburg, Gene Day, Steve Leialoha Publisher: Marvel Reviewer: Dan Grendell

"I am Satan's son, and I will NOT be denied that which I desire!"
I have no idea why this is called ESSENTIAL MARVEL HORROR. It should have been called ESSENTIAL CHILDREN OF SATAN, or if Marvel didn't want to put the word Satan in big letters on the cover, ESSENTIAL HELLSTROM CHILDREN or something. That's what it actually is, a collection of the earliest stories of Daimon Hellstrom and his sister Satana Hellstrom. I don't know of anyone who was actually scared by Hellstrom. Calling it horror is a bit of a misnomer, and does injustice to the actual Marvel Horror mags that are being given ESSENTIAL volumes of their own.
Anyway, this volume covers Daimon and Satana - The Early Years, and it's pretty damn cool. It gets off to a bit of a rocky start, with the origin story. See, Satan went to Earth and got married and had two kids with his wife. (Huh? Guess he was bored.) He trained the younger one, Satana, to be evil, but I guess just ignored Daimon for some reason. When the mother found out, it drove her mad, and the kids were placed in homes while Satan went back to Hell. Later, Daimon found her diary, and the passage to Hell in the basement, and tracked down his dad. Along the way he sees a Netheranium mine in Hell, which is the only element that can weaken Satan's power. Why the fuck would Satan mine that? When he finds his Dad, he is able to wrest his trident away from him and escape. Wait a second - the issue before this origin flashback, Daimon used that trident to defeat Satan because it has NETHERANIUM TIPS. Are you telling me Satan carried around that trident all the time, even though it made him powerless, until Daimon stole it? Why have I been told to fear Satan my whole life? The guy's a fucking moron.
After the origin, more competent writers take over, and we get fun stories. Hellstrom has to confront his own inner dark side, gets attacked by living tarot cards, goes back in time to Atlantis, takes on a cult of nihilists who dress like Roman soldiers for some reason, and even teams up with the Thing and later the Human Torch. Sure, the stories are kinda goofy, but so what? That's why I like 'em. You can't run around with a pentagram on your chest calling yourself the Son of Satan and not be a little goofy just for that.
Satana's stories are a little more mature and better written, but that's to be expected since most of them were done for the Marvel monster magazines that were outside the Comics Code. She's damn sexy, and she's totally evil. She steals people's souls by kissing them and pulling them out in this neat little butterfly shape. She's not a hero, she's a succubus. And she's no pawn of her father, either. Of course, we still get the fun team-ups with Dr. Strange and Spider-Man. So it isn't all doom and gloom.
This isn't the best of the ESSENTIAL line, but it is far from the worst. If you want actual horror, check out TALES OF THE ZOMBIE; for some fun reading, stay right here.


Neil Gaiman: Writer
Sam Kieth, Mike Dringenberg, Kelly Jones, Charles Vess, Colleen Doran: Artists
DC/Vertigo: Publisher
Vroom Socko: Dip$hit of the @$$holes

I’m sure that, after being in print for 18 years, I don’t need to rehash the storyline for this particular book for anyone. Still, you never know, so the short story is that this book is about the physical manifestation of Dreams, who is trapped for the bulk of the 20th century by a wizard who is seeking to bind Death. The story follows Dream after his escape, and shows what the impact of imprisonment has on this being.
That’s the dry, plot-based description, at any rate.
What this book is really about is Death and Life and Rebirth. It’s about ambition and drive, success and failure. It’s about the most powerful of gods and the most insignificant of animals. It’s about family and feuds, quests across galaxies and searching inside souls. This is a story about storytelling. It’s THE story about stories. And it’s one of the best comics ever to see print.
You all know this already, I’m sure. What you really want to know is how does this new Absolute edition look, and is it worth a hundred bones? As far as the price goes, this volume would be worth the price at $150 bucks. The cover alone is gorgeous, as is the slipcase. But what about the much-vaunted recolored interior art, you ask?
I actually read the original PRELUDES & NOCTURNES side-by-side with this volume, comparing each old page with the new (yes, I have no social life, why do you ask?) As published previously, PRELUDES has a significant EC Comics feel to it, with a lot of dark blues, purples and reds filling the page. As a moody, dark horror book, the coloring works. It has a life and a feel that play wonderfully, and if you can’t afford this monster hardcover, the TPB’s are still worth your while. But the colors in the Absolute volume…
For the first time ever, when I’m looking at those five initial issues, I’m seeing art by Sam Kieth. Sure, those issues always had his name on them, but now they actually look like something he drew. The Kirby-inspired dreams of Scott Free look especially sweet, as do the legions of Hell when fully assembled before Lucifer. Mike Dringenberg’s work also manages to look yards better as well. I felt like I was reading “The Doll’s House” for the first time all over again. The only word I can come up with to describe how it looks is luxuriant. I am told that the two Kelley Jones issues contained herein are also recolored, but they looked essentially the same to me. Then again, Jones’ artwork always looks fucking amazing no matter what you do to it.
If you can scrape up the spare scratch, you should definitely pick up this book. It’s a beautiful, glorious volume, and lord knows that if any comic deserves this sort of treatment, it’s SANDMAN.


Writer: Miles Gunter Artist: Victor Santos Publisher: Image Reviewer: Ambush Bug

Zombie books deal with themes revolving around our own fears of death. I remember one of the most frightening days of my life happened on a calm Sunday afternoon at my uncle’s funeral. I was ten years old and my brother and I were more interested in exploring the funeral home than paying our respects. Kids are like that. Death is so far away that it’s something that seems trivial and unreal. As we played explorer, we happened upon a back room where a corpse lay half covered by a white sheet on a gurney. Our giggles faded quickly as we walked up to the body on the table and looked at death for the first time, face to face. The room was as silent as the body on the table. My brother and I had seen dead bodies on the afternoon Shock Theater show featuring black and white and red thrillers hosted by a painted fat guy in black named Dr. Creep and his silent dog Duffy, but it was never like this. The body lay cold, relaxed, and heavy. The facial features were lax and almost drooping with no musculature actively holding an expression on the cadaver’s face. We were frozen ourselves. Fascinated by this new thing in front of us and scared shitless. A crash from the other room broke our trances and we quickly hauled balls out of there. Out of breath and hearts racing, my brother and I burst into the room where the rest of our relatives sat. They looked at us and dismissed our exasperation as youthful vigor, not knowing that this had been the first time death had touched our short lives.
The fear that was coursing up and down my spine that day had a lot to do with that fascination with death that many of us find on our minds from time to time. We all want to live forever, but the simple fact is we’re all going to perish one day. Zombie books deal with this fear and I think that’s why there are so many good books revolving around this theme and why the genre brings out such powerful stories from these creators.
Take SAMUREE for instance. Three warriors--a noble samurai, a goofy ninja, and a soulful monk--are thrown together to despite their differences in philosophies and beliefs to fight the forces of the undead in ZOMBEE, the latest in a long line of zombie comics to hit the shelves recently. I don’t know if I just love zombie comics so much that I can see no faults or just that making a zombie comic brings out the best in today’s creators, but there aren’t too many of these zombie books that I am finding unentertaining.
The reasons why the zombie genre is such a powerful subject to hang a great story off of is illustrated with ease and creativity in this original graphic novel from Image. In zombie comics there is often a very clear enemy for our heroes to fight. It is an evil that surprises our heroes at first, but soon they become knowledgeable about how to make it out alive. It is an evil that unites people despite differences and one that brings out our baser instincts of survival. Real character is portrayed and the differences between one character and another are often clearly defined when faced with their own mortality. Writer Miles Gunter highlights the differences between these three very different Asian warriors. The differences in fighting styles are illustrated with great ease by the capable art of Victor Santos. Gunter knows when to shut up and let Santos play with some great silent action scenes, intervening only at the beginning or end for a moment of relevance.
But this is not all doom and gloom. It’s actually quite funny, with most of the humorous moments occurring as Gunter plays the samurai as straight man to the ninja’s hijinks or reacts to the monk’s odd actions. It’s nice to see these three Asian warrior archtypes at play with one another. I’m sure it’s been done before, but I found this to be a one of those “damn, that’s cool” team-ups that would make a great movie. Just think Stephen Chow as the goofy ninja, Jet Lee as the soulful monk, and Chow Yun Fat as the dutiful samurai. Tell me you wouldn’t want to see those three kicking zombie @$$ on the big screen.
Reading this book, I couldn’t help but think about the Chinese Hopping Vampire films I used to eat up like gummy bears back in the day. These films paired kung fu with horror and often set a small group of warriors against the undead. Seeing the samurai in ZOMBEE fighting a zombified baby and nanny is just one great scene illustrating this pefect pairing of horror, martial arts, and humor.
ZOMBEE is one of those rare treats that struck a chord with me. It’s a great blending of genres and one of those fun reads that just screams for movie development or at least a comic book sequel. Highly recommended for those who like to have their spine tingled, their funny bones tickled and their kung fu jonez fully satisfied.


Writer: Andersen Gabrych Artist: Henry Flint Publisher: DC Reviewer: Baytor

I know I haven’t been following the DCU for a long time, but I’ve always been a big fan of DC’s space books and figured I wouldn’t have too much trouble getting back in the swing of things with a bunch of old faces. Seems the Darkstars are no longer a bunch of Green Lantern wannabes and are space missionaries… ummm, okay. L.E.G.I.O.N. is still kicking around and being led by Vril Dox… check. The Spider Guild is still a bunch of evil bastards… cool. We’ve got a Guardian, a Zamaron, and what appears to be one of the babies from the worst DCU cross-over event of all time, Millennium… well, apart from the last bit, I’m down. And, last but not least, we still got The Omega Men tossing around a lot of violence. Everything seems to be in order, only I’m scratching my head by the end of it.
Not like the plot is much of anything. The Spider Guild is tracking down pieces of some mystical artifact in service of their evil god, who has united the multitude of people of the Vegan System. The Omega Men are trying to stop them, and everyone, including all the good guys like L.E.G.I.O.N., the Guardians, Superman, and the Teen Titans are trying to stop the Omega Men from stopping the Spider Guild… which is where my “Huh?” meter goes off the chart.
No one, and I repeat, no one seems to have their motivations explained. The Omega Men are doing what they’re doing because one of them is having weird dreams about the mystical artifact, only no one on the team seems all that committed to the notion. We don’t even get to see the dreams they’re following. The Guardians, in typical DC tradition, never seem to have any motivation for anything they do, so they’re no help. Vril Dox is simply doing his job and tossing out commentary about religion, so big ol' goose egg there. The Spider Guild is all about the evil, so nothing there to flesh out the story. I wouldn’t even have known who the hell the Zamaron were if not for having read that crappy DC cross-over event I read 15 years ago, and all she seems to want to do is kick ass. Her blue-skin daughter is on the side of the Omega Men because she’s having the same dreams as the other guy, while Superman and the Teen Titans are just there for the clichéd “… and they stand against the heroes” moment at the end.
I assume that the entire cosmos stands on the brink because of whatever, because that’s how these stories always go; but there’s not a hint as to why the mystical artifact is important, apart from everyone wanting it. Not much characterization here either, apart from some extremely familiar team banter. The only cast member standing out is the gruff but lovable one-eyed, cigar-chomping, sergeant-type talking a cynical game, but willing to go through hell for his teammates. I’d love to tell you his name, but I forgot it long ago, and I can’t seem to find it anywhere in the story. There’s just nothing in this story that I can latch onto and enjoy.
I’ve even disappointed with the art of Henry Flint, who I remember fondly from his random work on DC’s space-faring titles back in the early 90s. It’s been years since I’ve seen his work, but I don’t remember his faces being so dead and lifeless.
Just total and complete crap.


Writer: Alexander Irvine Artists: Russ Braun (pencils), Klaus Janson (inks) Publisher: Marvel MAX Reviewer: Ambush Bug

OK, first and foremost, it’s Hellstrom, not Hellstorm. I know, the title of the book has always been HELLSTORM, but once the covers of the comics starring the Son of Satan have been cracked open, the innards of the books have always referred to him as Damion Hellstrom. A book that doesn’t even get the main character’s name right is reason enough for a lot of people (me included at first) to steer clear of this one. But really, what’s in a name, folks? Hell, since in occult true power lies within proper names, maybe getting the name wrong on the cover is a way to make the Son of Satan all the more powerful.
It’s not like Hellstrom (I’m going to use the character’s proper name in this review even though the writer doesn’t in the book) is ever even referred to by name in this first issue other than in the Afterword section. In fact, what struck me in this first issue the most was the fact that Hellstrom is actually not even the main character in this story. In the Afterword itself, the writer admits that this is simply a story that he had pittering around in his head and he just threw Hellstrom in there to make it a comic book tale.
But not even the honesty of the writer and the misnomer on the title could stop me from giving this book a semi-positive review. The story, in fact, is kind of intriguing: a woman gives birth to a boy who ages at a rapid rate, then turns into an eagle and flies away. Set in New Orleans, the writer relates the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina with the flooding of the Nile in Egyptian myth. And just as the story of Isis, Osiris, and Horus took place there, the myth is reborn in this modern setting. And to make matters worse, for some reason, Satan himself is involved.
Even though I usually abhor squishing current events into the pages of comics, writer Irvine does a great job of justifying the presence of an insurgence of gods and demons around the setting of a hurricane-ravaged New Orleans. In times of disaster, people often resort to prayer. And where there are prayers, there are angels and demons. Makes sense to me, in a comic booky way.
But the problem with this book is that it is an interesting story, but not an interesting SON OF SATAN story. Hellstrom takes the waaaaaay back seat in this first issue. He’s cast as a noir-ish drifter sitting on the sidelines occasionally intervening when a demon decides to attack a mortal along a dark alley. As the story progresses, we hear a story from a guy in a bar about the woman and the baby/eagle. Later, Hellstrom himself reiterates the story, this time relating it to ancient Egyptian myth. So the same story, for the most part, is told twice in one issue, not leaving much room for any Son of Satan action. There is some trident swinging by Hellstrom throughout the issue, don’t get me wrong, but these scenes seem to function only to remind the reader that this is a Son of Satan book. After these obligatory scenes, the story quickly returns to the myth of Isis and Horus. It seems as if the writer would rather be telling the story of Isis than that of Hellstrom, and that’s a damn shame, since I love me some Satan.
The art’s decent enough. It’s darkly colored and Klaus Janson’s inks are prominent in a good way, nailed down by pencils from artist Russ Braun, who has a Ron Garney feel to his work. Janson is always as good as his penciler. Left on his own, I hate Janson’s work, but with the right guidelines, his inks make a good story look great. The colors of this book by Giulia Brusco are especially effective in making this book look like a proper horror comic.
In the end, this is a good read, just not a good SON OF SATAN read. There are no signs or even mentions of Hellcat or Gargoyle or the Defenders. Anything that happened between those characters and Hellstrom occurred years ago, so that means Marvel won’t acknowledge their existence since mostly none of the staff seem to have read any comic more than ten years old, so they don’t think any of the readers have either. By the end of this book, I have to say, the story of Isis and Horus is one I found to be interesting. Too bad the writer had to edge out the main character in this book to tell it.


Writer: Grant Morrison Artist: Jim Lee Publisher: DC/Wildstorm Reviewer: Baytor

First issues are tricky beasts. In my years of reading comics, I’ve seen many a talent writer (and legions of untalented ones) muck it up. Maybe it was easier in the old days, when the pure episodic tale ruled, but in today’s world, people expect not only a kick ass adventure that introduces all your lead characters, but want to see the groundwork being laid for the entire run. Few manage to pull it off, even fewer within the confines of the standard-sized 22-page comic.
And, really, most comic fans know it, which is why you have so many people on message boards talking about how they’re going to give a new series a couple of issues to properly wow them.
But I think Morrison nailed it here. The first issue of WILDCATS reads like one of those brilliant action movie trailers that doesn’t quite tell you everything you need to know, but gives you enough glimpses to hook you. There’s not a terrible amount of substance here. Many of the Wildcats are re-introduced in separate action sequences: Grifter (paraphrasing Wolvie’s catch-phrase) shoots it out in Latin America, Majestic & Zealot butcher hordes, and Spartan & Voodoo engage in a little Warhol-colored horizontal action as Morrison wonders aloud what super-heroes would be like if they acted like real adults.
There are only a handful of writers I’d trust to do something interesting with that last bit. You hear “adult” a lot, but mostly they just trot out the same old clichés from WATCHMEN for the umpteenth time and pretend it’s still 1987; or, even worse, they mistake Warren Ellis’ thoroughly adolescent turn on AUTHORITY (and I mean that as the highest of compliments) as mature, and replicate that with more boobies and swear words. No, the world “adult” rarely inspires confidence in me, but Grant Morrison has made a career of zigging when everyone else was zagging and he earns that trust, even if there’s not much in this issue that suggests anything substantially different than what we’ve seen before.
Jim Lee doesn’t fail either, providing the insanely detailed line-work that fans have come to expect from him over the years. I’m not exactly the man’s biggest fan (generally finding his work a bit stiff and posed), but he had me drooling in more than a few places. This is great work and I find myself wishing he’d drop the chronically late ALL-STAR BATMAN & ROBIN to focus full time on this.
Flaws, it has a few, namely a lot of the Universe Housekeeping in the opening pages, which I didn’t find interesting or informative. My knowledge of the WSU is extremely limited, so I found my attention wondering whenever they started alluding to the shambles THE AUTHORITY became after Millar left, but thankfully Morrison was tossing around a lot more than just Continuity Accounting in those pages, giving hints to the big “Worldstorm” that follows these events and the sci-fi world that the Halo Corporation has created since last we saw them.
What the future holds for this title, I cannot say; but this is one of the best super-hero debuts I’ve seen in a long, long time. The last time I felt this giddy joy was when Morrison took over NEW X-MEN, and while that title didn’t quite live up to my expectations in the long run, it ended up being one of the most entertaining runs in X-History. I’m definitely in on this one.


Writer: Eiji Otsuka Artist: Housui Yamazaki Publisher: Dark Horse Comics Reviewer: Dan Grendell

"But me and my friends, we're looking to take our experiences here at Buddhist College, and apply them to the real world. We're thinking, there's GOT to be other ways to make money off this."
Yeah. Every time I get complacent, and figure I've seen pretty much every idea manga has to throw at me, i get hit in the face with something new. Truth be told, that's why I keep checking out the new stuff. I love that. KUROSAGI is the perfect example. Never in a million years would I have seen this coming. The main character is a guy named Kuro Karatsu, who goes to Buddhist College. That, by the way, is exactly what it sounds like. They train you to be Buddhist priests and stuff there. Only Karatsu isn't really all that into it. Unlike most of the people at the school, his family doesn't run a temple or anything. So when he meets a group of people like him, he figures they have something in common.
Except they are all freaks.
Ao Sasaki, the leader, ropes him into chanting sutras over corpses the cops find. She takes pictures of the corpses and sells them online. Numata uses a pendulum to dowse for bodies. Makino is an enbalmer, which makes her kind of an outcast in a country where nobody wants to touch bodies and they are all cremated. And Yata speaks to aliens through a puppet on his hand. Of course, Karatsu just blows these guys off until Yata's aliens reveal HIS secret... that he's an itako. He can let corpses possess him and talk for a little while. To prove it, he has a little chat with the body they were chanting sutras over, and lo and behold, the guy wants to be buried with his girlfriend. Looks like the group has a new hobby--helping corpses! And as this volume progresses, the stories take some freaky and even fucked up turns, but really, what do you expect?
Otsuka's writing is punchy and entertaining, but can also be downright creepy at times. Yamazaki backs that up perfectly, with great character design ( I love Makino's cute, wide-eyed look and Karatsu's constant put-upon droop) and the ability to switch from realistic to totally fucking creepy. One panel, where a father fondles his dead daughter's corpse, really just blew me away. It really conveyed how fucked up this guy was, and didn't play it off for some tits and ass thing like many artists mistakenly do. Freaked me the hell out. Wonderful.
Check this one out, if you want something new and interesting. It has all the hallmarks of being a great manga.


Written and Illustrated by: Oh!great Published by: Del Rey Manga Reviewed by: superhero

When a creator’s name has the word “great” in it expectations can run pretty high. I’d heard of Oh!great before and seen some of his work a while back in a book about manga creators that I’d read. When I saw it then I was pretty impressed with his stuff. I was also impressed when I saw some of his work when his first American release, TENJHO TENGE, was released by DC Comics. Unfortunately I never picked up that book due to the word circulating around the ‘net that the series had been censored for its American release. I knew AIRGEAR was another manga that great was working on so I decided to wait and see if that one would be released here so I could eventually check out this creator’s skills.
When I finally got my hands on AIRGEAR I was not disappointed. Oh!great’s art in this book is some of the best manga artwork I’ve ever seen. His layouts are dynamic and crackling with energy. The linework is smooth and precise. Honestly, some of the stuff here is really just fantastic to look at and it’s rare that manga artwork really pops out and demands my attention. In a comics genre that is often criticized for producing work that can come across as too similar in appearance, Oh!great’s work stands head and shoulders above the rest. Ito Ogure (Oh!great’s real name) makes almost every panel seem like it’s hyped up on amphetamines and yet he’s able to maintain his ability to tell a clear and concise story at the same time. The result is a steady but fast paced story that just continued to visually impress me every time I turned the page.
Part of the reason for this is because AIRGEAR is about a group of gangs who duke it out on the rooftops of the city on souped up rollerblades. Ogure’s skill shines though because of his skillful ability to convey speed and athleticism combined with incredible figure drawing and detail. Looking at this book I can’t imagine another artist who would be better suited to draw a book like SPIDER-MAN or, better yet, THE FLASH. If I were one of the heads at the big two I’d be getting this guy on the phone right now because the perfect Spidey or Flash book is just waiting to pour out of this guy’s pencil.
I do, however, have some problems with AIRGEAR and most of those stem from the story itself. Unfortunately AIRGEAR is chock full of the typical manga stereotypes. Everything from the spiky hared, brash young protagonist to the squad of overly cute yet top heavy anime chicks is present here. While I don’t usually have any problems with these types of manga trappings I was hoping that the story here would live up to the incredible nature of the artwork. It didn’t, but at the same time AIRGEAR’s narrative wasn’t completely horrible in that it’s gotten me interested enough to possibly pick up the next issue. Sure, much of my interest comes from just wanting to stare at another volume of Oh!great’s artwork again but at least the story wasn’t so silly that it’s actually keeping me away from the book.


Creator: Hiroaki Samura Publisher: Dark Horse Reviewer: Dan Grendell

"...and I'd love to have the POWER to puke all over the place and still score my woman. That's what I'm saying!"
The name Hiroaki Samura may be familiar to you already, as he is the creator of the well-known manga series BLADE OF THE IMMORTAL. What you may not know is that he has also done a few romance shorts, under the name Takei Teashi, which are collected in this volume. If you have read any BLADE and guessed that Samura's romance is a bit different than the standard manga romance, you get a cookie. There's romance involved, alright, and it's a central theme, but it's more about how the person you are in love with isn't always in love with you, and sometimes you just gotta deal with it, and sometimes persistence pays off.
The main story, which takes up most of the volume, is titled "Ohikkoshi". It's about a group of twenty-something friends who try to live their lives despite the loves that have formed between some of them. It's mostly funny, often sad, usually right on the money, and always entertaining. That's followed by "Luncheon of Tears Diary", the story of a manga-ka who looks for love while becoming a mahjong shark, a gang queen, and eventually her own woman. The volume closes with "Kyoto Super Barhopping Journal (Bloodbath at Midorigaike)", a short little autobiographical story about wandering in Kyoto drunk.
Samura's art style here is a bit different than his style in BLADE, but only because he tends to keep things tighter. The loose, sketch-like look of the fight scenes from BLADE is missing, which I wholeheartedly approve of--those have always been something I disliked about his art style, so in OHIKKOSHI I get all of the greatness of his dynamic lines and none of the weakness. Panel-to-panel storytelling is superb, as well, and makes it easy to follow the various subplots going on, even with the gags Samura throws in.
A fun take on romance that goes for the heart without being sickly-sweet, Samura has produced something here that is very rare--a romance comic men will enjoy.


Writer: Cullen Bunn Artist: Brian Hurtt Publisher: Oni Press Reviewer: Humphrey Lee

Demons and dames, mobsters and machine guns, and the undead. Honestly, if that doesn't sell a comic for you right there I don't know what you're waiting for.
But seriously, THE DAMNED from Oni Press is a really neat little comic with a cool setting. Think "The Untouchables", but instead of Al Capone, we get a mob boss that looks like Tim Curry did playing The Lord of Darkness in “Legend”. We also have a pretty damned interesting lead named Eddie who is actually dead when we're introduced to him. Oh, don't worry, he's alright, but apparently he's got this nasty little curse on him that keeps him from going on to the other side. So he keeps on coming back and coming back no matter how many times rival mobs try to whack him.
And it's that little "gimmick" of his that makes him very important in the upcoming days to mob/demon head Big Al Aligheri. You see, while Eddie was festering in some back alley for three days with a slit throat, a deal with rival mob leader Bruno Roarke was being hammered out, but a key element to the deal has gone missing. It may be because of outside interference on Roarke's part, or it may be treachery from within. Eddie becomes the go to guy from here because he was post mortum at the time, so that makes him the only guy Big Al can trust to bring everything back together. And from there THE DAMNED takes its paces in setting up some colorful characters, a game of cat and mouse, some really eerie bits involving Eddie's little problem and so on.
I personally pretty much dug this entire issue. First off, this series has a great premise and setting, and a really fun cast of characters thus far. I really dig the idea of demonic entities using their influence and power to take wealth from some of the many vices of mankind. The banter back and forth between the characters is nice and snappy, though if I have any gripe about this book it's that sometimes it does come off as typical fare from other medium’s work about this time period. Also, sometimes it's kind of stifling in its execution. But when the dialogue works, it works, and between it and the way the plot progresses this particular issue reads through very smoothly, almost so much so that I barely noticed that it was actually 40 pages for a slightly above normal price of $3.50. You can't really beat that.
Also, speaking of things you can't really beat, the Brian Hurtt art in this pamphlet here is really, really good. The main thing about it is the mood it sets. When you think "30's mobster film" you think stark lighting contrasts, you think seamy outskirts, and of course, three-piece suits everywhere. And all that is present and accounted for and then some. The lines in here are very fine and detailed, every human and non-human character has their own unique look and feel despite being dressed alike, and there's some good depth to the backgrounds. Also, the appearances of the demons and otherworldly creatures themselves have a nice "classic" appeal to them, but with their own little nuances to make them seem a bit atypical from what you're used to. All in all, very very good pencils, enough so to make me want to check out more of them on the much lamented HARD TIME series from DC in back issue form.
So we've got a great premise with solid writing backed by terrific art, and all at almost double the normal size for a lousy two quarters more. I'd say right there that's another win for Oni Press, who in all honesty, I don't think I've yet to encounter a single "bad" or subpar comic title from them. And now THE DAMNED comes along and I've got another book from them to go along with WASTELAND that I can't hardly wait to see what happens next in its pages. All I can say to that is "Jolly good show boys. Jolly good show."


By Crispin Hellion Glover Publisher: Volcanic Eruptions Reviewer: Ambush Bug

Like many of you, I find myself fascinated with character actor/professional eccentric Crispin Hellion Glover. From his cameo in WILD AT HEART as Jingle Dale who liked to put a cockroach on his anus to the mild-mannered, sci-fi comic readin’ George McFly from BACK TO THE FUTURE, from being perfectly cast as rat-boy WILLARD to his hilarious turn as BARTLEBY (“I’d…prefer not to…”), from the silent swordsman from the CHARLIE’S ANGELS movies to the spastic karate kicking incident on David Letterman (I actually saw that when it was originally televised), Glover’s career has been something that I have found to be continuously entertaining to follow.
I knew Glover had published a few books, but for some reason or another, I never had a chance to read any of them. When I happened across RAT CATCHING at my local comic shop, though, I saw it as a sign and picked it up. Leafing through it, I saw that this was not actually a comic at all, although it does have graphic elements. It’s actually a sort of instructional manual that drifts into a semi-coherent story, then back again into manual form, ending with an apology to the reader for meandering so far off course in the middle of a book. RAT CATCHING is disturbing, thought provoking, and another foggy window shedding just a smidge of light across the off-kilter mind of Crispin Hellion Glover. It is a book made from pages of other books. Lines are crossed out. Words are penciled in. Pictures are obscured and pages are scribbled upon. Cover to cover, this is more of a piece of artwork than an actual story.
Y’know, looking at pictures of natives with gaping holes in their abdomens, stretched rat pelts, and ritualistic chicken plucking assembly lines may not be the most pleasant of reading experiences, but like a train wreck or DANCING WITH THE STARS, I just couldn’t avert my eyes from it.
Glover is coming to the Music Box in Chicago soon. He’s set to show his recent film, run a slide-show, and do god knows what else. Fellow @$$hole Sleazy G and I are going to be in attendance and I am actually kind of scared as to what this experience will be like. Glover is a truly original voice and I plan on searching for more of his literary work. Check out RAT CATCHING. If you’re as screwy as me, I think you’ll enjoy it for the bizarre art piece it is.


Jamie S. Rich: Writer Joelle Jones: Artist Oni Press : Publisher Vroom Socko: As Corny As Kansas In August

Those of you with long memories will recall the last Jamie Rich comic I reviewed, LOVE THE WAY YOU LOVE. That’s the quarterly book from Oni that I thought was well written and illustrated and not for me. It wasn’t bad by any means, but it just didn’t click with me for whatever reason.
12 REASONS, as it turns out, is the one that clicks. Clicks like a goddamn Snapple cap.
Plot-wise, this is the story of Gwen, and her romance with Evan. If all you want from a book is plot… well this is pretty much the standard sort of romance. These two meet, they date, they fight, and they make up. That’s every romance. What makes this story stand out is the way it’s told. The twelve chapters tell this tale through temporal trips back and forth, starting with their first date, proceeding to their make-up, followed by their break-up, and ending with the day they meet. The pacing and style are lyrical, practically poetic. And Joëlle Jones artwork is definitely poetic; there’s a section with Gwen talking about the seasons that is pure beauty.
This romance is about as far from typical storytelling as you can get without slipping into the abstract. It’s not going to click with everyone, I’m sure of that. But everyone who does have it click will remember this book for a good long while, I promise you that.

DARKMAN VS ARMY OF DARKNESS #1 Dynamite Entertainment

I’ve been a fan of both DARKMAN and the EVIL DEAD movies, but that wasn’t the draw for me in this case. I bought this comic solely because of the talent putting this one together. Not only does it have Kurt Busiek and Roger Stern on tap as writers, but this book also sports some artwork by one of my favorite artists from yesteryear, James Fry. I love Fry’s fluid linework and solid paneling. He’s always been a standout artist, one who has fallen off the map in recent years. Fry does a good job here, but storywise, there’s not much going on. Darkman is skulking about. Ash only shows up in the last few pages. And some Deadites are wreaking much havoc. I know it’s become the standard in these team-up books that the characters meet in the last panels of the first issue, fight in the second, tool around in a fluff filled 3rd and 4th issue, then finally come to some type of resolution in the last issue, but I expected more from a pairing of some of the best writers in the industry. Stern and Busiek are phoning it in and following formula so far, and because of the lack of ingenuity, I won’t be around to see if it gets any better. There was a time when the whole team-up storyline happened all in one issue--it was called MARVEL TEAM-UP and MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE. I imagine Stern and Busiek have probably read one or two of those old issues. I’d just love to have a team-up book break from the new tired formula and try something new. I thought maybe a writing team of this caliber would give me something I haven’t read a million times before in one variation or another formula-wise. Guess not. Color me unimpressed and put me in the “not coming back for seconds” category. - Ambush Bug

ZOMBIES! FEAST #5 IDW Publishing

Man, writer Shane McCarthy saved the best for last. I loved the final issue of this series which started out as your standard zombie tale and ended up an intensely action-packed romp till the very last panel. I know zombie comics are a dime a dozen these days, but this one got better and better as it went along. If you missed these individual issues, get the trade for ZOMBIES! FEAST. It’s one of those zombie stories that focuses more on the action than anything else, but the action that occurs in this final issue makes the less than three-dimensional characters seem unimportant. This miniseries was a wild and fun ride. - Ambush Bug

BANANA MAN #6 Crack Comics

All he wants is to spread the word of the nutritional value of bananas. With such a noble cause in mind, how can you not fall in love with BANANA MAN? I came across this book is in ashcan format. It looks like it was copied and stapled at Kinko’s and may be only 11 pages long, but the sheer kookiness of this book had me thinking about it and giggling long after I put it down. Don’t expect high production values, but it’s a pretty funny read as a noble powerless hero tries his damndest against insurmountable odds to spread the word of the power of bananas. Read it. Experience it. Love it. It’s BANANA MAN and it made me want to eat a banana. - Ambush Bug

7 BROTHERS #1 Virgin Comics

Ok, I’m as uneasy as you are about a major entertainment corporation putting out their own line of comic books, but Virgin Comics has nabbed quite a lineup for this comic book so I had to check it out. With John Woo and Garth Ennis in the credits, I thought 7 BROTHERS would at least be worth a peek. I don’t want to say that I was completely disappointed with this issue. But it didn’t blow me away. It’s your typical “group of strangers are gathered together by a mysterious benefactor” type dealie. The story is kind of cool, but one I’ve seen before. Woo’s past foray into comic book lore (HULK) doesn’t really give me any confidence that he understands the medium. Had he a little more experience with the medium, he might have known that the “real world people experiencing super powers” story is kind of old hat by now. It’s THE USUAL SUSPECTS meets SUPREME POWER where a group of rogues are gathered and told that they have special powers and a special purpose for those powers. There are some nice scenes with an Asian chick who beats the shit out of people just by describing what she is going to do to them, but other than that, I wasn’t really impressed. To top it all off, artwise, the book looks a bit muddy for my tastes which makes it hard to understand panel to panel transitions. The book is split into three segments: one set in ancient China, one in a modern day boardroom, and one in an ancient cavern. I’m sure these things will all tie together, but nothing does so in this issue. Sure, this is the first issue, and by some unwritten modern comic book bylaw I should feel the need to stick around to see what’s going to transpire in a few issues, but I doubt that I will because there are a million other comics out there that I could give a try. My decision to purchase issue two when it hits the shelves is going to depend on whether or not it’s a big comics week or not. Not a sparkling recommendation, I know. But it’s the truth. - Ambush Bug

A few books from BOOM! Studios

BOOM! is at it again this month with a rack-full of comics that continue to provide a worthy alternative to standard comic book fare. BOOM! has been successful in creating straight-up sci fi stories such as the surprisingly entertaining WAR OF THE WORLDS: SECOND WAVE series and the nicely paced LOST-like X-ISLE series. SECOND WAVE is one of those books that takes you by surprise. My initial criticism of this book was that it was like THE WALKING DEAD in that it focused on the survival of a group of people rather than the threat itself, but that the characters in SECOND WAVE were less likable and harder to get attached to than with those in WALKING DEAD. Issue #6 is a step in the right direction as some heroic deeds and some nice character moments have helped flesh out our cast. X-ISLE is exactly the opposite. Whereas the writers have developed some pretty great characters (supported by the great renditions of these characters patterned after such recognizable stars as Josh Lucas, AICN’s Harry Knowles, and the Man himself, Samuel L. Jackson), the plot is as frustrating as any episode of LOST. Although I have no idea what’s going on, I can’t help but feel entertained by this book. Issue #3 reveals more mysteries as the survivors venture further off the beach and into the dark jungle to uncover bizarre creatures and more puzzling twists and turns.
Ever the versatile company, BOOM! also produces some of the funniest books out there as well. THE SAVAGE BROTHERS is definitely influenced by Garth Ennis’ work following a pair of brothers out to make a profit off of the zombie apocalypse. This one has a talking head leading the zombie horde. It’s not the deepest of reads, but if you’ve got a fever and the only thing that can cure you is a dose of redneck zombie hunters, this is the book for you. In the second issue, the art in this book takes a powerful leap towards greatness as artist Rafeal Albuquerque proves to be a talent to watch. Finally, the best comic book BOOM! produces has another installment this month. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?! Is one of those comic book ideas that is covered with gold and filled with nougat and goodness. Keith Giffen and Co. dig up old comics and add a new insanity laced script. Comic books have a rich surplus of odd stories and Giffen and Co. really know how to pour on the laughs. This MONSTER MASH-UP issue of WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?! is no different. Sure, some may call it juvenile, lowbrow, and somewhat offensive, but to me, all of those words translate to fun when read in the right light. Giffen and some of BOOM!’s top writers go out of their way to breathe new comedic life into these ancient stories from comic book history.
Sick of the same-old, same-old in comics? You should give BOOM! a try. I’ve found most of their titles to be a worthy alternative to comic book tedium. - Ambush Bug

Remember, if you have an Indie book you’d like one of the @$$holes to take a look at, click on your favorite reviewer’s link and drop us an email.

CASSANOVA #5 Image Comics

Sadly, I don't think any of us at AICN have checked in on this title since the first issue, but I just wanted to stop by to remind you all of its existence and say that, yes indeed, this comic is doing really damn well and at a damn good price. Ever since the first issue (which I felt was a little too dense a read but a really good one nonetheless) the following ones have moved at a very good clip, telling pretty well self-contained stories, but adding a lot of depth to the surreal situations in the everyday life that our lead Cass lives out. And this issue is another prime example of this as Cass is sent on a mission to an exotic island inhabited by savage Neanderthals to find and extract a very important enemy agent from there. But like everything else in the world of CASANOVA, looks from the outside are deceiving and instead of the caveman society Cass expects to find, he finds something rather remarkable... and even finds more of himself. It's very interesting and just plain fun stuff, and all to the tune of a measly two bucks a month. Buy it, you won't regret it. - Humphrey


I don’t want to criticize Garth Ennis too much for the way he is writing the Punisher these days. The caliber of stories has been top notch since the beginning of this MAX series. The problem is that Ennis is following a specific formula with these arcs; one that he has repeated over and over. Introduce problem that gets Frank pissed, spend two or three issues fleshing out evil characters who will eventually meet Frank and die, then in the third or fourth issue Frank meets the baddie and gets the snot kicked out of him, only to catch back up with said baddie in the final issue where Frank kills the guy. This series has been one variation or another of these events. Issue #39 is firmly planted in the “spend two or three issues fleshing out evil characters who will eventually meet Frank and die” category. Ennis is bringing his A-game to this series and it’s present here in this arc as well with some really great moments peeking into the mind of Frank Castle, but I can’t help but notice the pattern and fear that one of these times, the series will become boring. It’s not there yet, but if Ennis doesn’t mix it up a bit, we’ll be approaching dullsville very soon. - Bug


Dammit. Dammit, Dammit, Dammit!! You can tell how much you love a book when you have an actual physical reaction to the events inside it. Well, with this issue alone I had two "OH SHIT!" exclaiming moments, and upon seeing the absolutely heartbreaking ending and loss of one of my favorite characters in an ongoing today, I felt absolutely beside myself. That's how much I love this book, and this issue itself was probably the most fun I've had reading a comic this month. The fight between the trio of exterminators and the cockroach army is hilarious and priceless, I really dig the turn the overlaying plot of this comic is taking with the Egyptian mythology kicking in, and, of course, the Tony Moore art is fantastic. THE EXTERMINATORS is another one of those "one helluva rides" you should not be missing. - Humphrey


More insanity from Brian Posehn and Gerry Duggan as Santa finds a new lease on life as a warrior against evil during the zombie apocalypse. Although he’s not the star of this book, the spotlight shines on Gary the Snowman. There’s something about a snowman carrying a spiked club and singing “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” in his head that teeters on the line between insanity and genius. Which is a good way to describe this entire miniseries placing loved childhood characters into the wickedest and most offbeat of situations. Good, not so clean fun. Can’t wait to see how it all ends next issue. - Bug


Everyone's favorite experimental British ex-spook is back, and boy does he look, uh, inky. Really, there's nothing different about this book except the drastic change in artistic style. The book still reads very "Chandler-esque" but with the Warren Ellis infusion of a very nihilistic sense of humor and mad-bastardry. But the change in artists from J.H. Williams III to Danijel Zezelj is a very drastic one. Gone is JHW3's very unique panelwork and storytelling style and it’s replaced with Zezelj's extremely heavy lines and black inks. But you know what? It works. Given the absolutely, well, depressing tone of the book that reflects the attitude of our lead, Zezelj's art is very stark and direct, lending to the atmosphere perfectly. The only complaint I've ever really had with his art is that it's typically very difficult to tell characters apart since their facial features tend to get muddled, but that problem actually seems pretty unapparent with this outing as each character has enough of their own look, whether it be a hair style, facial hair, body type, etc, to tell them apart. So the art works, the story is as good as you'd expect, and the book's got still got some genuine heart to it despite the crushingly depressing atmosphere. It's great to be back in the world of the Desolate One. - Humphrey

WOLVERINE #47 Marvel Comics

I know it’s caused quite a ruckus that the Marvel bigwigs have decided to have Logan give up smoking cigars. But I understand why the decision was made. I mean, Wolvie is the hero of millions and what kind of example is Marvel showing the kids of today by having Wolverine chomping on a stogie and breathing nasty nicotine smoke into the air. I’m glad Marvel has taken such a proactive stance against this type of deviant behavior and made their heroes heroic again by leading a good, clean life.
Oh, almost forgot. This issue features Wolverine stabbing his claws straight through someone’s head in a bloody, on panel, half page shot, killing the person immediately…
…but at least he’s not smoking because that would be a bad message to send to the kiddies. - Bug

Hey Kids, Halloween!

A cautionary tale by Squashua

It's October, a month known for hosting the spookiest holiday of the year, Halloween. And what do kids do on Halloween? They stock up on rotten eggs and mold shaving canister caps with hot pins in order to spray your house with cream from 15 feet away. Oh yeah, and they trick-or-treat.
Costumed children of all ages travel door to door throughout the neighborhoods begging for treats. They'll end up with sacks full of Snickers bars from those who care, Sweet Tarts from the cheapskates, sugar-free lollipops from the dentist, razor-filled apples from that guy down the block who's out on bail for molesting his sister, and some spare change from that desperate single guy who just wants those damn kids to stop ringing his doorbell so he can go back to World of Warcraft.
Halloween is a nervous time for parents. They're worried about those razor apples and anthrax-laced pixie stix. All "treats" are suspect and spare change isn't fun for kids who want instant gratification, even if learning the value of a dollar is a good lesson. Did you know that around Halloween, a bag of 18 "fun-sized" Snickers bars at my local grocery store costs $4.50? And I'm not even guaranteed 18 bars; it could be 16 or 20 on a lucky day. Nonetheless, if I gave one to a kid, I might as well have given him a quarter.
A quarter. Two bits. $0.25. Twenty-five cents, USD. Do you see where this is headed?
No, wrong. Yes, I understand a peep show doesn't cost all that much, but...OK, your argument is sound, but can I get to my point? Thanks.
Go to almost any comic store, excepting the ones where the owner opened solely to cash in on the CCG craze or owned a large X-Men collection and slapped a plastic board in with every bagged issue, and what do you see that's a common theme? Quarter bins. Fifteen minutes of entertainment to a speed-reader at half the cost of one play at an arcade game, with nigh-endless reusability. Comics not only promote literacy, but kids seem to enjoy them, and they
Readers Talkback
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  • Oct. 25, 2006, 12:16 a.m. CST


    by Son of Batman

    you're wishing us a Happy Halloween a week early? Shouldn't you be doing this a week after it happened, like usual?

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 12:20 a.m. CST


    by proper

    A mobster urinating over the Punishers family's grave was hard one to top but I have enjoyed the latest run a lot.I bought Sandman as they came out,It is one of the biggest shames in comics that Mike Dringenberg cannot do more art(illness with eyes wasn't it?) as he gave that comic a very interesting look.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 12:40 a.m. CST


    by dtpena

    The most important day of my life..that is until Oct 31 when Final Fantasy XII is released

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 12:42 a.m. CST

    The Authority

    by Mister Shaw

    Is it me or did everything GM did right in Wildcats he completely mucked up in Authority #1

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 12:45 a.m. CST

    And about Wildcats

    by dtpena

    It's the first positive review I've read, still haven't read the issue, but I really hope it's good..c'mon please be good..

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 12:50 a.m. CST

    There should be an Edit button

    by dtpena

    anyway, I bought the Absolute Sandman Vol 1 at amazon (about $65)and it's just amazing. The comic is naturally good and all everyone knows (though these are not my favourite storylines), but having purchased several Absolute Editions, I must say this one impressed me. It's better than any other edition I have, and that includes my beloved Absolute Planetary.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 1:28 a.m. CST

    Actually, it IS Hellstorm

    by ErnieAnderson

    Read the Warren Ellis run. He legally changed it. Goofy, yes, but it's a done deal.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 1:37 a.m. CST

    The latest Punisher run is worthy for nothing other....

    by MattCG

    ...than "Tell me something: Why the FUCK do Americans think Benny Hill is funny?" I nearly pissed myself when I read that. As for Wildstorm, I have a place in my heart for The Authority that gets smaller and smaller every time some cockbag who doesn't get the joke takes over and plays it straight. That includes Millar who can suck my fucking cock.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 2:24 a.m. CST

    Authority and Wildcats

    by arrangedletters

    If you take everything said above about Wildcats and invert it you have a review a little closer to the truth. To me this was the weakest thing Morrison has done since Authority. I think it was Authority, can't be sure what with not having them in the book. And Ha's art? Let's just say Photoshop is a tool that can be used well or as seen in this book. Please can we blur something in every panel next issue. If you want to do it right go back and check out Middleton's art in NYX. I am a Morrison fanatic and usually love evrything he does but I am done with these two books.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 3 a.m. CST

    And this week's theme is...

    by RodneyOz

    Zombies. Good god, it seemed like every second comic had zombies in it. Not a problem for me though - I loves me zombies.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 3:25 a.m. CST

    I Probalby Should Have Hit The Movie Trailer

    by Baytor

    metaphor a bit harder in that Wildcats review. That's what it felt like to me and it made me excited about what Morrison was going to do on the book. Course, we're going to have to wait until March to see issue #2 (rolls eyes). Still, the issue made me feel the coolness and intrigued me, so I loved it. But, as mentioned in the review, there ain't a lot of story substance there. Thought The Authority issue was total pants (I'm pretending to be English for the moment), not only because the Authority didn't show up, but because I never got the feeling that the characters who were introduced were meant to be important. They felt like those characters they kill off in the teaser on Buffy The Vampire Slayer, where they give you a bit of happy home life then toss them to the wolves. And the motion blur... was that a fucking joke?

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 3:39 a.m. CST

    Comics for Halloween

    by Goonie

    That is a truly excellent idea. Thanks for mentioning it.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 6:54 a.m. CST

    RE: dtpena

    by KoozyK

    tomorrow isn't the last ish. there's still an epilogue ish that is coming out after that.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 7:04 a.m. CST

    Wolvie smoking

    by WarpedElements

    Actually, cigars arean't addictive and don't have that bit of nicotine, it's still got the tobacco. But wolvie didn't get ME smoking those, it was a gift of cuban cigars at christmas, but that's another story. Kids that learn to do right/wrong from comics deserve to get lung cancer, or atleast to be hellions (HAH take that SoS) to drive their parents insane with their rambunctious actions. Quesada needs to DiaF for his general ignorance and lack of keeping marvel continuity together.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 7:33 a.m. CST

    Banana Man

    by rev_skarekroe

    Is it the same Banana Man that used to be on those British cartoons they showed on Nickelodeon back in the '80s?

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 9:25 a.m. CST

    Banana Men

    by vjamesv

    No it is not the same Banana Man. But the puns are just as bad! The original was one word - Bananaman. You can read Banana Man at, and there is a pinup in the new issue where he fights the original Bananaman.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 9:35 a.m. CST

    It's pronounced "Bah-nah-nah-mahn".

    by Squashua

    Once Ewik eats a bah-nah-nah he becomes Bah-nah-nah-mahn.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 9:43 a.m. CST

    Is that like banana bread?

    by Thalya

    Where oh where is blackthought?

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 9:53 a.m. CST

    A poem for Blackthought...

    by loodabagel

    Where are you Blackthought/ We miss you so much/ I want to see your name/ on the computer screen/ Life is less without Blakthought/ I haven't read any Authority comics becuse I have no idea where to start.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 9:57 a.m. CST

    Dan Didio Back Page Editorials in DC Comics

    by riskebiz

    Anyone else really annoyed by Dan Didio's editorials in the back of every issue of DC Comics? This editor wanted to kill of Dick Grayson! All the recent editorials are a tour of the DC office and all about how kickass the editors at DC are. That's the problem and has been the problem with DC comics over the last decade: They think fans read DC comics NOT because of who writer/artist team of a particular book is ... but rather based upon who the editor is!!!!! I wish the editors there would just quietly work behind the scenes.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 10:18 a.m. CST

    No Thyla...

    by Squashua

    ...that'd be bah-nah-nah-mah-na.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 11:11 a.m. CST


    by Squashua

    rushed home, fixed widths, etc.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 11:13 a.m. CST


    by Thalya

    That was horrible! Bravo! And a really great idea about comics for Halloween. Candy for the mind (maybe) and eyes.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 11:17 a.m. CST

    And to think, if Banana Man went on American Idol...

    by Thalya

    ..he'd be a bah-nah-nah-mahn-pha-nah-mah-nahn.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 11:18 a.m. CST

    7 Brothers review

    by Wormie

    Did I read that right? Did the reviewer suggest John Woo directed The Hulk?

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Trick or Comics (comics for Halloween)

    by The Heathen

    I was all in with Squashua's idea until he mentioned the dude in court and how the same could happen to anyone so we better search for this or that, etc. I'll just buy the damn Snickers bars and tape some business cards on them of the local Comic Shop or something. Not that it's a bad idea Squashua, but I don't have the time to research all of the books and what not. Boo. <br> <br> Mmmm… Banana bread.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 12:57 p.m. CST

    I believe I'll be having a banana for a snack

    by rev_skarekroe

    So there.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 12:57 p.m. CST

    Heathen - also avoid Manga

    by Squashua

    because it usually contains surprise nips. My warning is really just a "don't give them Alternative Comics #2 or anything with titties". Mainstream "big 2" stuff should work as long as it's not Vertigo or Max. The problem is that in the quarter bins, you're quite likely to pick up some complete TRASH that pretty much no one should read. If you stick to Big 2 and Archie, you'll be fine. Oh, and Thyla? Doot doo dee doo doo.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 12:59 p.m. CST

    Hey Heathen

    by Squashua

    One more - how do you linebreak like that? These talkbacks are always an unformatted mish-mosh. Test. Did it work?

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 12:59 p.m. CST


    by Squashua

    No, it didn't. Three blank lines before "Test" and nothing.<br>Hmm.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 1 p.m. CST

    BR - my hero.

    by Squashua

    Line breaks work. [br], yay.<br><br>Herroooo noooo yawwwwwwkaaa.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 1:25 p.m. CST

    Anyone know where that Batman cover comes from?...

    by stones_throw

    Cos it looks pretty kick@$$.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 1:30 p.m. CST

    Line breaks and such

    by The Heathen

    well it looks like you found out, but in case anyone else wants to know it's: <br> <br> < br > --- minus the spaces of course. That's about 1/4 of my knowledge of code. Let me see if I can do something else in this here tb. Click <a href=""_blank"> HERE.</a> <BR> <br> Let's see.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 1:36 p.m. CST

    that would be a 'NO'

    by The Heathen

    as far as the click HERE part. [br] I might check out some old comics when I head to my shop today then. They don't hav quarter bins but they do have random comics in boxes of 50 and 100 for real cheap. A lot of Valiant, early Image, 90's X-Force type stuff. I dunno what the turn out will be like in my neighborhood either, it's my first Halloween not in the sticks and at a place where kids trick or treat. I'm gonna scare the poop outta something though. I mean, damn them for having me miss Veronica Mars right? ; )

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 3:36 p.m. CST

    "I’m going to use the character’s proper name...

    by nofate

    in this review even though the writer doesn’t in the book" Really? and what will that accomplish? Let people know how big of an ass you are? Is geeks like you give the rest of us non-nit-pickers a bad rep.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 3:38 p.m. CST

    Oh, and also...

    by nofate

    this column was way too fucking soon.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 3:46 p.m. CST


    by Squashua

    Actually, I like to think that it was not soon enough. I wrote that article back in 2001 for 4ColorReview (aka 4CR, now Kung Fu Rodeo), and it died when their site died. I had meant to write it up much sooner than now, so as to give readers more time to get their books and spread the word, but last week was the earliest I could get to it. Much thanks to the other @$$holes for tolerating my soapbox.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 7:32 p.m. CST

    Place: Grade School Fundaiser Fair...

    by loodabagel

    Time: 1999-Enjoying my fifth grade year so far, I was a happy camper as I went to West-Fest '99. The school had arranged some games and such to be played by kids so they could win prizes and West Elementary could make some money. I don't remember what game it was, but they were giving away comics as prizes. My pick-Daredevil. Frank Millar Daredevil. "Born Again" Frank Millar Daredevil. How cool is that? Luckily for me (and whoever gave it to the school) My parents never saw it, and I we all escaped scot-free. Thank you Squashua, for reminding me of this and how greatly it affected me. I live way out in the boonies, and there's usally only three or four people trick-or-treating here, and I plan to give them comic books from now on!

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 7:39 p.m. CST


    by Squashua

    You're welcome. I remember my juggling phase in junior high when I tried to convince my mom that "Juggs" was a trade magazine.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 8:54 p.m. CST

    Glover On Letterman

    by Mace13

    I saw that when it originally aired to!!! I remember Glover wearing these big heeled shoes like clogs or something and talking about all this crazy shit and no one knew what the hell he was talking about. Then he stood up and without warning he did some kinda kick over Lettermans head as he was sitting at his desk and Letterman getting a lil upset and walking off stage for a bit. Or something like that. It's been awhile. How long ago was that anway?

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 9:23 p.m. CST

    Dis and dat...

    by Ambush Bug

    First off, man, I am a dunce, my mistake attributing THE HULK to John Woo and not Ang Lee. That's what happens when you write reviews at 4am. I don't think it is a nitpick for the writer to get the name of the title character right, nofate. No less that the nit-picky shit I've seen you take us to task for. Hypocricital much? I remember reading the HELLSTORM comic by Ellis, but don't remember the legal name change. Wish Marvel would trade that amazing series. Finally, Mace13, I remember Letterman being super pissed and saying something like, "I know someone who will NEVER be back on the show" then he called him a freak or something. Glover was completely wigged out on the show and I haven't seen it since, but it stuck in my head.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 9:31 p.m. CST

    the Batman cover

    by Ambush Bug

    That was from Batman #284, which was the first Batman comic I ever bought. Great issue and a cool cover.

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 9:41 p.m. CST

    good reviews and 7 soldiers

    by Homer Sexual

    I greatly enjoyed this week's column. I have a question that I hope someone can email me or tell me in a few days: Which of the 7 Soldiers died? I just read that sucker twice and am not sure. Is it the obvious character apparently resurrected? Is it the character who didn't seem to die but never got a title? I preferred the beginning to the end of this great story, but feel confused. later

  • Oct. 25, 2006, 9:51 p.m. CST

    I tried, A.B., but I failed you.

    by Squashua

    A while back ther ewas a Crispin Glover film floating around on the internet (pre-YouTube). It was some crazy ass student / college film that involved nudity and crazy. And Crispin Glover. Totally artsy and totally nonsensical. <br><br> Would provide you with the link, but I am having the worst time searching. Anyone?

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 1:12 a.m. CST

    They made Wolverine quit smoking again?

    by eveelcapitalist

    That's like the second time I know that they've done that. Every few years when anti-smoking fascists get in the news they make him stop until things calm down.

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 2:38 a.m. CST

    Guiding Light and Marvel Comics

    by Jinxo

    Okay, no note of it here but I read the news story but still couldn't believe Marvel Comics was planning to crossover their universe with the TV soap The Guiding Light. I'll even admit I used to watch The Guiding Light but... this is a bad idea. This isn't a "You got your peanut butter in my chocolate" two great tastes that taste great together deal. This is just retarded. Having read the first instance of this thing in Civil Wars Choosing Sides just made me wince. There was one joke riffing off the fact that both Spider-Man and Guiding Light each had clone plots that made me laugh. Then I realized I was likely the only person in the world who would even get the joke. Everything else made me sorry I'd ever heard of Guiding Light or Marvel Comics. I was embarrassed for everyone involved. I have horrible visions of my mom calling me saying, "Oh Reva and that Iron Man could be so happy together if he'd just stop drinking and let her be his sidekick. And if he ever finds out her baby is really Wolverines..." And then I wake up screaming. Why???? WHY???????

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 5:14 a.m. CST

    Marvel Comics suck

    by mrfan

    Period. Look at the shit they have to do for sales. Combining it with a soap opera is just ridiculous. Bad art and writing. Late books. They don't care. I will say this though. I enjoy the Essentials and Masterworks.

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 9:13 a.m. CST

    Thanks, Bug.

    by stones_throw

    I might just have some eBaying to do...

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 9:30 a.m. CST

    I ask you then, mrfan...

    by loodabagel

    What doesn't suck?

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 9:43 a.m. CST

    "I enjoy the Essentials and Masterworks."

    by The Heathen

    there's your answer,lucious lou. <br> <br> The Guiding Light thing is the most retarded thing Marvels done… in like a week even. Sooo stupid. Gotta remind myself that Whedon is taking over Runaways - but then I just heard that Astonishing X-Men is being delayed (not because of Whedon and Cassaday) because of the and editorial fuck up. Arggh. <br> <br> I'd love to see the Letterman/Glover clip too. Remember when the long lost Cog, Gus Nukem met Crispin Glover and watched his movie. I miss Gus.

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 9:47 a.m. CST

    There is an invention called YouTube

    by Squashua

    And you can search for "Crispin Glover Letterman" to get the clip.<br><br> Oh, here: <br><br> If anyone can post a link to a clip of Crispin Glover in that artsy-crappy-nekkid college flick, more power to you.

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 9:52 a.m. CST

    Is that an old thing?

    by loodabagel

    I have no idea what The Guiding Light is, other than a Soap Opera. Would this have occurred in TV or comics?

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 11:19 a.m. CST

    "Old" is a relative term.

    by Squashua

    You're talking about "The Guiding Light"? It's a soap opera on tv in the midday. Most normal people don't see it because we're at school/work. It's been ongoing for years.

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 11:23 a.m. CST

    Will Image also publish "The Last Ramadan"?

    by Immortal_Fish

    Would love to read that one.

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 12:13 p.m. CST

    "The Last Ramadan"

    by Tito Trinidad

    Why would Image publish that?

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Say "Bananaman Ramadan" 5 times fast.

    by Squashua

    Come on!

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 3 p.m. CST

    Yes, the soap Guiding Light

    by Jinxo

    They announced in a press release that Marvel and the daytime soap Guiding Light will be connecting up. The last story in the new Civil Wars Choosing Sides seems to be the first instance of this. Supposedly Marvel's newest hero will then be introduced on Guiding Light. Given that Civil War had them turning a long running GL character (she's been on since I watched back in the 80s) into the hero "Guiding Light" (she glows and throws electricity around). I especially "love" how the firststory doesn't jive at all with the Civil War storyline even though it appears in a Civil War book. Nobody knows Iron Man is Tony Stark, they go to Springfield hunting down a new hero, figure out who it is and then don't force her to register or anything because it seems her powers went away... for now. So what? Shouldn't she still have to register and be tracked? You just know this was something forced down the throats of everyone involved by powers higher up and now they all have to grin and go, "Nooo, it's a great idea... we... love it." Meanwhile they hate it.

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 4:29 p.m. CST

    Well, that does clear things up a bit...

    by loodabagel

    And yes, it is ridiculously insane. I'm already pissed.

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 4:29 p.m. CST


    by Thalya

    Is it just me, or do I smell a mutiny slowly brewing at Marvel? <BR><BR> Also, I'm suprised to not see any speculation that the Annihilation Wave is really Marvel's answer to the Anti-Matter wave and we're only one mega-crossover away from Marvel's version of Crisis on Infinite Earths where everyone will finally put aside their differences to fight the good fight, and the fans will eat it up when Cap and IM kiss and make up even though their at-odds situation was completely contrived and out of character. <BR><BR> Anyone else thinking that?

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 4:30 p.m. CST


    by Mr. Anderson

    That's a series I would gladly plunk down 100 clams for a fancy hardcover edition of a story I already own and have read dozens of times. Maybe the only one.

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 5:02 p.m. CST

    Marvel Crisis

    by The Heathen

    No, no Thalya, Marvel has said that is something that DC does, not them. And Marvel never lies about anything mind you. Axel Alonso will tell you and the rest of the 198 (the apparent number of internet fans and remaining mutants) that this is so. Mutiny? Pish posh! Never! <br> <br> The reality looks as though Marvel is creating stuff like Civil War just so they can get to a Universe wide crisis or something. I just hope that it's not the two universes colliding and having us end up with Ultimate Spidey as the Spidey while we have 616 Cap make buds with Ult tony Stark or whatever. Arghh. All I ask of Marvel is to have someone besides Millar or Bendis (despite his streak of good stuff) to write it. Who I'm I kiddin? Millarendis will write it together!!!

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 5:05 p.m. CST

    Oh, btw…

    by The Heathen

    Johns and Donner, Action Comics much? <br> <br> I got mixed feelings. Some great, some meh, some hmm. <br> <br> Superman Returns belt is bullshit in my opinion. Wasn't too keen on that.

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 5:41 p.m. CST

    Wait, whaaaatttt??? Guiding Light????

    by superhero

    Is that for real? No, seriously, c'mon...stop kidding...for serious...that's not really happening is it? If so it's time for some new upstart comic company to come along and do to fat, bloated Marvel what they did to DC back in the 60's. Wow, Marvel crossing over with a SOAP OPERA??? My thirteen year-old self is freaking OUT right now!!!! That is so wrong!

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 8:05 p.m. CST

    Action Comics...

    by Kamikaze Skeleton

    AS stated above, a humongous retread, and kinda insulting inthe wake of kon-els death, not-so- long ago. And it also reeks of the Son-of -the Bat story line going on in the bat books. ...supes books feel like they are either a shot in the arm, or very very stagnant. Mostly stagnant.

  • Oct. 26, 2006, 9:42 p.m. CST

    Comics at Halloween

    by snorfbat

    Years ago, when we lived in a more rural area, I gave out comics for Halloween. HuuuUUUUuuuge hit! Every year, word spread and spread. After about three years, we started to see parents driving their kids to our neighborhood just so they could get comics. One of the kids arrived at my door with a small box of comics because he wanted to show me the collection he'd started after getting a GI Joe from me the previous year. I heartily recommend this idea. Your local comic book dealer will be happy to cut you a deal on that box of Richie Riches, Star Comics and Animaniacs.

  • Oct. 27, 2006, 8:21 a.m. CST


    by stones_throw

    Yes! Brevoort and Bendis will finally overthrow the corrupt and decadent Quesada, Alonso and Millar! C'MONNN!

  • Oct. 27, 2006, 8:24 a.m. CST

    Snorfbat - are you saying you stopped the practice?

    by Squashua

    No more comics because you now live in the 'hood, or what?

  • Oct. 27, 2006, 8:26 a.m. CST

    Thus begins the revolution..

    by Thalya

    'nuff said.

  • Oct. 27, 2006, 9:08 a.m. CST

    black people hate comic books

    by Shigeru


  • Oct. 27, 2006, 9:09 a.m. CST


    by Shigeru

    You were in 5th grade in 1999? Egads.

  • Oct. 27, 2006, 9:14 a.m. CST

    They do not.

    by Squashua

    Gorram. They love their super-heroes. Just ask this guy:<br><br>

  • Oct. 27, 2006, 9:17 a.m. CST

    Dwayne McDuffie and Christopher Priest

    by Squashua

    Two of many men who love comics.

  • Oct. 27, 2006, 9:37 a.m. CST

    yeah i was joking

    by Shigeru

    or maybe i'm a huge racist? YOU MAKE THE CALL

  • Oct. 27, 2006, 10:02 a.m. CST

    Well, you do want to get in bed with Natalie Portman...

    by loodabagel

    And she's white, so you must be racist. At least, that's how my fifth-grade in 1999 brain feels about it.

  • Oct. 27, 2006, 10:06 a.m. CST

    For those of you in Butte Montana tomorrow night...

    by loodabagel

    Nosferatu at the Blue Penis! I'm so stoked for this I want to orgasm.

  • Oct. 27, 2006, 10:21 a.m. CST

    Butte, Montana

    by The Heathen

    Creezus, is anyone in Butte? How's the weather there right now looda? I went to Montana about five years ago and it pretty much sucked, not the state, just the vacation. We were staying in this prison camp called 9 Quarter Circle Ranch that woke you up at 6AM for breakfast and if you weren't there then too fucking bad - you missed out. They also had this giant horse trough for people to swim in. It was disgusting. You know when there's that green algae that's built up in a goldfish bucket or something? Maybe not, but that's what the entire 'pool' was. It was a giant tarp spread out with algae water in it and my clinically retarded brother looked like one of the three stooges slipping on it for hours. Highlights of the trip included my other brother jumping over a creek and not making it, him sodomizing a buffalo statue, having him eat rocky mountain oysters and leaving the 9 Quarter Circle for someplace that had a phone and hot water.

  • Oct. 27, 2006, 10:32 a.m. CST

    I might be...

    by Squashua

    It was pointed out to me that regarding my earlier on Manga, surprise "nips" is derogatory slang for Japanese Americans. Therefore I hereby revise my statement to read: <br><br> Avoid Manga because it usually contains surprise tentacle rape.

  • Oct. 27, 2006, 10:46 a.m. CST


    by Homer Sexual

    I grew up in Montana, and the last time I was in Butte was way back in 90-something, my mom lived in Dillon. Went home for the holidays and it was so cold my eyelashes stuck together when I blinked. Ahh, memories.

  • Oct. 27, 2006, 12:32 p.m. CST

    I too have been to Montana

    by Shigeru

    I was like 13. We camped all around Montana, Wyoming and the Dakotas. It was freaking awesome. Why you would want to live there, tho.... I have no clue.

  • Oct. 27, 2006, 1:10 p.m. CST

    Montana Love

    by Mister Mediocre

    I was born in Bozeman, Montana and lived there for the first 10 years of my life. I was in Polson and Missoula in September attending my cousin’s wedding. A cool lcs in Missoula is Muse Comics. An issue of Local was set in Missoula so check it out if you get a chance.

  • Oct. 27, 2006, 3:34 p.m. CST

    Montana Love, it'll break your back.

    by Squashua

    Or so I hear.

  • Oct. 27, 2006, 11:03 p.m. CST


    by loodabagel

    <p>Well, I can't say I terribly disagree with you too much...But when only you and some of your friends read comics, it's like you're in a Motorcycle gang or something. And motorcycle gangs are exceptionally cool.</p> <p>And thanks for somehow reminding me of a simply disgusting joke I heard the other Day, Psy. It goes-What do you call a bulimic with a yeast infection</p> <p>Answer-A Quarter Pounder with Cheese.</p>

  • Oct. 27, 2006, 11:38 p.m. CST

    Here's some less moronic Marvel news...

    by loodabagel

    Moon Knight-The TV show. At this early a point, I have no idea what to think.

  • Oct. 28, 2006, 9:55 a.m. CST

    Yes, Squashua, I have no trick-or-treaters now

    by snorfbat

    I speak of giving away comics in the past tense because we don't get trick-or-treaters in our new location. It's not the neighborhood, though. It's our apartment building. Trick-or-treaters would have to be buzzed in at the security gate and would have to climb stairs to get to our third-floor apartment. So we don't get any trick-or-treaters. Which makes me sad. Maybe our next place will be different. But I encourage everyone who DOES get trick-or-treaters to do the handing-out-comics thing. It was incredibly rewarding.

  • Oct. 28, 2006, 9:29 p.m. CST

    Moon knight

    by Kamikaze Skeleton

    Haha, he's in the neww Marvel video game as a playable character! Why him? He's on the same level as the Prowler to me. (though his inculsion is cool -- even if random)

  • Oct. 29, 2006, 9:40 a.m. CST

    ask what the @$$holes can do for you...

    by keepcoolbutcare

    and hey, you might get a review of some comic you love. Thanks for the Casanova review Humphrey; even if you did spell the title wrong in the headline (but, amusingly, correct in the review proper. And holla @ The Heathen if this works... <br> Anyone care to comment NEXTWAVE #9, particularly the final panel? ZOMG!

  • Oct. 29, 2006, 3:47 p.m. CST

    Watched Nosferatu last night and...

    by loodabagel

    Wow. That was one cool movie. And what makes Moon Knight cool? Well, I really don't know all that much about the character, but I always thought he had a nice costume. I'm sure some of the @$$holes could divulge some more tasty details. He's somehow related to Egyptian gods and I think he's an exceptionally violent superhero, but don't ask me, There'll surely be some more important stuff in the coming days.

  • Oct. 29, 2006, 11:50 p.m. CST


    by dregmobile

    Not a whole lot happened but it was worth it for the stuff with the rats at the end. Not sure what to make of Dr.13 ... am I supposed to laugh at the incestual references? Very weird. And weird belongs in that MYSTERY IN SPACE title. I'm loving them both. <br> <br>The latest CAPTAIN AMERICA was a mix of great art and solid story. A nice little chapter that actually felt satisfying - informative, rather than "thanks for your cash, here's some flashy art work and dialogue". Which was exactly what the latest HEROES FOR HIRE was about. I think I'm done with this mini, halfway through. <br> <br>Anyone else loving JUSTICE? Who didn't drool at the very opening page where Supes and Bats have their water cooler chit chat? Nice to see Aquaman get the spotlight at the end. I always saw Aquaman as a Brad Pitt type, but here, this Thomas Jane type looks great. <br> <br>Caught CHILDREN OF MEN over the weekend, and guys (and girl), you have to make this a must-see over xmas (those of you in the States). My second favourite film of the year next to THE DEPARTED. <br> <br>Okay ... now I'm off to Cogsmooches ...

  • Oct. 30, 2006, 10:05 a.m. CST

    Was Children of Men a kids movie...

    by loodabagel

    <p>Like that other review said? It certainly didn't seem like it, judging by the description they gave. Congratulations on seeing it this weekend. I hope nobody watched Saw 3. That would have lost you about 89 points on my cool-o-meter. </p> <p>I read that last issue of X-Factor this weekend and I'm still having a tough time with the comic. I only started reading it with issue 10, and I've been rather confused. I want to stick with this comic because I can't stop hearing about how geat it is, but I have no idea what's going on.</P>

  • Oct. 30, 2006, 10:07 a.m. CST

    I only got to read the first four issues of Justice...

    by loodabagel

    They were alright, but I certainly think Brainiac was looking scarier than I've ever seen him before. That was a great design on Ross's part, as was the Riddler.

  • Oct. 30, 2006, 10:46 a.m. CST

    No holla'in I guess. : (

    by The Heathen

    What were you trying to do keepcool? My interest is peaked now. <br> <br> I got a bunch of stuff to read but haven't been able to get to it. Check out Wormwood if anyone hasn't. Good stuff. Anyone besides Kaimkazze Skeleton and I read the Johns/Donner, Action yet? What @$$ is going to review that? <br> <br> So I take it Montana is nice to visit but sucks to live in?

  • Oct. 30, 2006, 10:57 a.m. CST

    Johns/Donner Action Comics:

    by Shigeru

    The worst comic book I've read in a long time. Now keep in mind I don't usually pick up comics knowing they are going to suck, or really hoping they don't. Because at $3 a pop I can't afford it. So I was excited for this book. But nope, the whole thing went down like spoiled sushi. Gave me the same sick to my stomach feeling I got when I found out the movie Superman had a kid. ...hey wait a minute. <br>And the art sucked. I know Kubert's like "experimenting" or something with his crosshatching, but it looks like shit. Stop it.

  • Oct. 30, 2006, 11:28 a.m. CST

    "experimenting or something with his crosshatching"

    by The Heathen

    Yep. It 'almost' worked a couple of times, but for the most part it fell flat I think. I like some of it, but it's like Frank Miller in his recent stuff, it just is too cross hatched and crumpled and what not. That seems to have happened to Andy Kubert as well, but not to this degree. And you're right on about the feeling about the kid, Shig. I really liked Superman Returns for the most part, but it's not sitting well. All I can think of is that stupid kid and how he's a complete roadblock unless the kill him or something. What really erks me is the fact that they just re-introduced Supergirl in one of the most confusing complex-but-not - supposed-to-be situations I've ever read. Arghhh. I hope for the best, but yeah - 'too soon' as the cool kids say. How many fucking people can come from Krypton? Maybe it's too early to tell, but for now I'm not digging it. I like some parts like Lex's reaction but I can't even think of anything else at the moment. Oh, Perry White has a 30 inch wide Apple monitor that is only 10 inches tall. Come on Kubert, you teach people how to draw. My professors at my community college wouldn't have let shit like that slide.

  • Oct. 30, 2006, 11:29 a.m. CST

    On the other hand

    by Shigeru

    Seven Soldiers #1 was one of the best comics I've read in a long time.

  • Oct. 30, 2006, 11:52 a.m. CST

    I need an Abosolute edition of Seven Soldiers…

    by The Heathen

    stat. As soon as I get the trades I know that they will release an absolute. I know it.

  • Oct. 30, 2006, 5:45 p.m. CST

    Action Comics

    by dregmobile

    I looked at it on the shelf, scanned it - because I'm still wanting to pick up a good Supes title - and as soon as I saw the kid, I thought "Oh no." And quickly and carefully placed the comic back on the shelf. Fuck that. <br> <br>I don't want to be hearing that 7 Soldiers is good. Because I know nothing about it. Heathen is talking about trades. Shit ... that means spending more money for me ... <br> <br>And bagel - no, Children of Men is NOT a kids movie. But it is a masterpiece from a guy who HAS directed kids movies (POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN, A LITTLE PRINCESS). The film kicks major ass. Got lucky since they released it early for UK/Australia ... no one miss this film!!!

  • Oct. 30, 2006, 8:09 p.m. CST

    Here's what's been stewing in my brain regarding...

    by loodabagel

    <p>Superman Returns. That kid? Not really Superman's. Brainiac invented that bastard in a lab and then shoved him up Lois's uterus, since he already knew she bumped uglies with Clark. In Superman 6, Brainiac will be in it and he will be very, very awsome. Sure, that's pretty far fetched, but a kid can dream, right?</p> <p>And I'm happy to say that it does not suck to live in Montana. Maybe it would if you were a total puss and couldn't stand cold weather. But still, as I like to bitch about, the few comics we do get are always late, especially this month. That's only in Butte, I know just about all the other major cites have their own comic shops, but this one specializes in useless crap for old people. I still haven't gotten Spiderman Loves Mary Jane. I'm getting ready to peak for that thing. I'm gonna write a goddamn review when I finally get it. So, unless you're a complete and total urbanite hipster, I'd say Montana aint so bad.</p>

  • Oct. 31, 2006, 9:27 a.m. CST

    Hey! Hey! Wake up!

    by loodabagel

    We've gotta lotta work ta do taday. Say it with your Joisey accent.

  • Oct. 31, 2006, 9:40 a.m. CST

    "all the other major cites"

    by Shigeru


  • Oct. 31, 2006, 9:46 a.m. CST

    okay had to get that out of my system.

    by Shigeru

    Yes Seven Soldiers rocks my world. There will probably be an Absolute Omnibus Hardcover or something, soonish. Hopefully. I wonder how they will package the issues, though... I didn't really like the idea of having the trades be like 1 issue of Klarion, 1 issue of Shining Knight, 1 issue of Frankenstein, ect. I would prefer them all clumped together. <br> <br> Planetary's done and I still haven't found out who William Leather shot on the Nautilus. How about that John Cassaday tho?

  • Oct. 31, 2006, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Ahhhh Hell No!

    by loodabagel

    I almost made it without having any secrets revealed from Planetary. I have got to forget that name and I have to go buy those trades!

  • Oct. 31, 2006, 10:40 a.m. CST

    Yeah, I'll have to wait on…

    by The Heathen

    the second Absolute Planetary before I finish that story considering I got the first volume that way. I'm gonna have to read the first one again so it's all fresh. Without spoilers, does it live up to what we thought it would? Keep in mind that I've only read the first 12 issues. <br> <br> DC, I will buy an Absolute Omnibus of all 30 somethin issues of the Seven Soldiers minis. Just thought you should know that. <br> <br> Dreg, you saw Children of Men/ That's the one with Clive Owen i it right? Cuaron is awesome. It's cool that you saw it. Glad to hear it's good. Oh, and I think the Seven Soldiers is on it's third TPB now. <br> <br> Luscious Lou, that's actually not the worst idea I've heard for the Superman Returns kid problem. Hell, I'd roll with it. Have that happen and Superman 'memory kiss' the past five years away. Oh and Cyclops has to die too.

  • Oct. 31, 2006, 5:20 p.m. CST

    Happy Halloween

    by The Heathen

    let's see how this how this handing out comics thing goes Squash.

  • Oct. 31, 2006, 5:52 p.m. CST


    by dregmobile

    I like that idea, bagel. Pitch it to Mr. Singer. <br> <br>Thanks, Heathen. I'll check out those trades. Yes - Children of Men is with Clive Owen, Julianne Moore and Michael Caine. I had a knot in my gut the entire length of the film, but it's a highly engaging watch.

  • Nov. 1, 2006, 8:29 a.m. CST


    by Shigeru

    was one of the most interesting characters in SR. Yeah i said it.

  • Nov. 1, 2006, 8:30 a.m. CST

    "shoved him up Lois's uterus"

    by Shigeru

    i sense a new AICN catchphrase

  • Nov. 1, 2006, 8:35 a.m. CST

    How it went?

    by Squashua

    It went well. Had a shortbox of books, mostly Impact, some Atari Force, and a bunch of Marvel Age issues and older X-Men, Superboy, etc. Some kids were happy, most of the girls were like, "candy please", so I gave them books and candy. A couple girls really wanted the comics, so they got extra. I gave about 2-3 with every kid. Ran out by 8:00, but after that, there were only about 10 more kids who came through the neighborhood. The parents were more interested, plus I had leftover beer from last week's party-at-my-house, so I gave that out too (to the parents). How'd it go with anyone else?

  • Nov. 1, 2006, 7:33 p.m. CST


    by dregmobile

    I think I'm last.

  • Nov. 2, 2006, 8:58 a.m. CST


    by Squashua

    Yes. Yes, you are.

  • Nov. 2, 2006, 6:55 p.m. CST

    Thank you ...

    by dregmobile

    for your reassurance.

  • Nov. 3, 2006, 9:48 a.m. CST

    Congratulations, Dregmobile...

    by loodabagel

    You are now the king of lasting.

  • Nov. 8, 2006, 1:25 a.m. CST


    by blackthought

    i don't get it...i am the forefather along with gus of lasting...why so many pretenders to the thrown? must i flex my cog muscles? no matter...nothing but pretenders. it matters naught.

  • Nov. 9, 2006, 10 a.m. CST

    Last Man 5...

    by loodabagel

    The movie starring Last-Man where must fight both Dregmobile and his former archnemesis Blackthought.

  • Nov. 12, 2006, 12:11 a.m. CST


    by blackthought

    i'm no one's arch-anything...i'm a godfather of lasting and a cog. i have my rogues but none are pretenders to a crown long won.

  • Nov. 16, 2006, 2:21 p.m. CST


    by Squashua

    You are all right.

  • Nov. 21, 2006, 10:07 a.m. CST

    Last Man 6...

    by loodabagel

    Last Man (Not Loodabagel) has no friends. All our his enemies. The guy's a total d-bag, and I don't know why I (Loodabagel) associate with him.

  • Nov. 29, 2006, 10:40 a.m. CST

    I like you, Loodabagel.

    by Squashua

    You're my pal.

  • Dec. 5, 2006, 9:43 a.m. CST

    Last Man 7....

    by loodabagel

    Last Man vs. Predator vs. Alien Vs. Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash vs. Batman vs. Kramer.

  • Dec. 8, 2006, 1:06 p.m. CST

    by Squashua