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AICN COMICS REVIEWS BATMAN! ULTIMATES! CLIVE BARKER'S THE GREAT AND SECRET SHOW! AND MUCH MORE!!!

#26 9/27/06 #5

The Pull List
(Click title to go directly to the review)

ESSENTIAL TALES OF THE ZOMBIE VOL. 1 JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #2 THE ULTIMATES #12 DWIGHT T. ALBATROS’ THE GOON NOIR #1 ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #100 BATMAN #657 Indie Jones presents a Comics Catch-Up of THE GREAT AND SECRET SHOW #1-6 Indie Jones presents SCATTERBRAIN #4 Indie Jones presents… CHEAP SHOTS!

ESSENTIAL TALES OF THE ZOMBIE VOL. 1

Written by Steve Gerber, Tony Isabella, Chris Claremont, Doug Moench, Roy Thomas, Marv Wolfman, Len Wein, Dave Kraft, Gerry Conway, Stan Lee Art by Pablo Marcos, Alfredo Alcala, Tony DeZuniga, Gene Colan, John Buscema, Ron Wilson, Tom Sutton, Bill Everett Published by Marvel Reviewed by Buzz Marvelzombie

ESSENTIAL TALES OF THE ZOMBIE VOL. 1 is the greatest thing Marvel has ever published. Say what you want about the current Marvel administration, but they okayed a collection of obscure black and white zombie tales that were a part of only the coolest childhoods. Superhero kids like me didn't read much of the black and whites. Now, I think they were too good for me. I didn't deserve them at the time.
Mind you, zombie Simon Garth isn't a Romero zombie. He's not a flesh eater. He's a mindless slave. We're talking voodoo, not the apocalypse. He's an animated corpse, but he has to do whatever he's told. No one ever tosses him a stray brain or anything. And he's not part of a horde. He's a rugged individual, a loner...even dead guys were cooler in the 1970s.
In addition to the Garth stories, Brother Voodoo makes several appearances. He was a Haitian, voodoo themed superhero, sort of an offshore Dr. Strange, bridging the gap between Marvel's horror wave and their regular books. He's introduced in a couple of prose articles, a first for the ESSENTIALS, one of which explains why he's black (hint: it's not because one or more of his parents was also black). Every now and then, an EC style horror story also surfaces.
The prose pieces and articles were extremely interesting and can really give you an idea what it felt like to be...well, a geek in those days. Pre-net, pre-DVD, hell, pre-VHS, you got your horror film info where you could get it. NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, which gave birth to the modern zombie, is covered but more interesting is the reverence toward the Bela Lugosi film WHITE ZOMBIE, and even better, an article about an AIP blaxploitation film called SUGAR HILL (betcha Tarantino has seen that one). There's something funny about these articles being written by Chris Claremont and Tony Isabella, sort of the elder statesmen of comic book writing. Claremont contributes an investigation of voodoo and reviews of voodoo books, while novelist Lin Carter explores the history of witchcraft. All with bad black and white photos!
Get yerself a slushee-bong, some Zeppelin (LPs or 8-tracks), this book and yer set.

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #2

Writer: Brad Meltzer Penciler: Ed Benes Publisher: DC Comics Reviewed by Humphrey Lee

So, wow, that must be one hell of a scrap book they're putting together if we've still got Supes, Wonder Woman and the Bat-Man looking over snapshots in the second issue here.
But seriously, I'll give Meltzer some credit here in that he is doing a pretty good job of juggling at least half a dozen plotlines and keeping the majority of them pretty interesting. Obviously the main focus here is Red Tornado; Mr. Meltzer seems to have a special place in his brain meat for that loveable/re-killable bastard and it shows. And it is pretty touching stuff, seeing Big Red becoming human and trying to grasp the feelings and emotions that make us what we are. I think this plotline is the strongest of the ones presented to us, though I'm also enjoying seeing Black Lightning manipulating some of the criminal element due to his status as being labeled one of Lex Luthor's flunkies in order to get close to a case of disappearing metas. It's a good use of the character and a great way to get him involved. Plus, y'know, it's nice to see some continuity here and there. And the bits with Green Lantern, Black Canary, and Arsenal have been pretty keen. They've kinda meandered a bit to get where they did in the cliffhanger that ends this issue, but it's been some solid "family ties" type moments so I'm not really gonna complain.
On the downside, not even the great Brad Meltzer can make the character of Vixen interesting. I'm sorry, I've tried. I've read her in everything from JLA to Morrison's ANIMAL MAN to Gail using her recently in BIRDS OF PREY. She's just boring and I really don't need to see her brought in on the team. And speaking of which, as I riffed on earlier, we've got the big three still sitting around going over photos and debating who should be in on the latest incarnation of the JL of A. One more issue of this and they'll have spent equal time going over snapshots as Batman held young Dick Grayson in his pimped out Batmobile in ALL STAR BATMAN. That's not a good thing. But two weak plot-threads out of five isn't a bad average. It's better than most writers can juggle and keep interesting that's for sure. But we really do need to actually develop a, y'know, team in here somewhere. That'd be nice.
On the art front we get some more decently capable stuff from Ed Benes. The man has definitely got some very good soft lines going on here and a great flow between panels. But at the same time there really just is next to no variety in character models. Every man has the same overly muscled physique with the exact same sternum and midriff and jaw-line, while all the fems have the same curves and soft cheek bones to go with their cleavage. Though I guess this isn't so much Mr. Benes' fault as it is just what happens when you have a superhero book like this. But I like the energy he brings to the action sequences and he actually puts in the effort to put background scenery in his panels which is a huge plus over a lot of the other highly-touted artists out there right now, so overall I say he works quite well here.
All that said there's nothing inherently wrong with what's going on in this series thus far except that it seems to be moving at a very odd pace. Not necessarily slow as some of the storylines are moving quite well, it's just a matter of them all moving somewhat staggered from each other that throws it all off. I think there just needs to be more unison to make them feel like they're all moving towards something, which would pretty much be the inevitable "Here's the new Justice League!!" money shot. We'll see how well this goes next issue I guess.

THE ULTIMATES 2 # 12

Written by: Mark Millar Pencilled by: Bryan Hitch Published by: Marvel Comics Reviewed by: superhero

No one ever said war was pretty but if they looked at Bryan Hitch’s work in THE ULTIMATES they certainly might have to re-evaluate that statement. They might even have to say it’s actually downright beautiful after looking at an issue of this book. I mean, WOW, really.
It’s Hitch’s art that pretty much saves the day here as Millar turns in a typical tale in the pages of THE ULTIMATES. While several of the issues leading up to this one have been nothing short of spectacular, issue twelve delivers some epic combat scenes which at this point are starting to seem a bit old hat for this book. It’s almost like Millar’s bag of tricks has turned up empty with this issue. Sure, there’s some neat stuff in here like the Hulk mutilating and punching an opponent’s head off but by now, if you’ve been reading this book for any length of time, the shock value is pretty much gone. Been there done that. Not only that…but I’ve been there and done that with this creative team. Yes, I know that this isn’t my daddy’s AVENGERS team. I get that these heroes can engage in morally ambiguous acts of mayhem in the Ultimate universe, but is that all you’ve got, Millar? Are you pretty much a one trick pony when it comes to modern day super-hero stories? Because when I look at this and I look at what you’re doing in CIVIL WAR it sure seems like you are. I mean, the best Captain America fight you can give me is some wannabe light saber duel? What happened to that guy who wrote all of those fantastic Superman stories in the pages of SUPERMAN ADVENTURES all those years ago?
While Millar drops the ball with his writing Hitch picks it up and saves the game with his masterful artwork. Millar takes the scope of super-hero combat to a place where few artists are able to go. As a matter of fact, I’ll even say that Hitch’s artwork has probably changed what I expect to see in a super-hero showdown from now on. He’s raised the bar and issues like this one are the reason why. With each panel I felt like I was completely immersed in a super-human war zone. Hitch is a genius as far as I’m concerned and his art carries Millar’s writing for the entirety of this issue. Without Hitch’s ability to render full scale super carnage on a grand scale this issue would have been just another super-hero comic book. I truly believe that this issue is only as good as it is because of Hitch’s talent.
But as great as Hitch is he can’t keep me from feeling that as this run of THE ULTIMATES wraps up the concept is beginning to run out of gas. I can almost hear the engine sputtering as the series reaches issue thirteen. I hope the final issue of Millar and Hitch’s run proves me wrong because I’ve been a huge fan of THE ULTIMATES from the beginning but I’m also starting to think that maybe it is the right time for a new team to take on the book. It seems like a bit of repetition has set in at ULTIMATES HQ and maybe some new blood will be able to send the book into a fresh direction that will regain my interest.

DWIGHT T. ALBATROSS’ THE GOON NOIR #1 (of 3)

Writers: Patton Oswalt, Thomas Sniegoski, Bill Morrison, Steve Niles with an intro by Dwight T. Albatross Artists: Mike Ploog, Eric Powell, Bill Morrison, Ryan Sook Publisher: Dark Horse Publishing Reviewer: Ambush Bug

THE GOON is one of those books that I have written scores of reviews on. It’s one of those books that always have a great time reading. One of those books that always seems to strike a nerve right in the ol’ funny bone and entertain like no other because it is a comic like no other. It’s funny. It’s raunchy. It’s got characters that are despicable and lovable at the same time. There really isn’t like anything on the shelves and it’s one of those books that, even on an off issue, it’s still pretty damn good and better than most of the other stuff out there.
Eric Powell takes a break of sorts from his tough guy creation and his lunatic legion of a supporting cast. Usually, I groan when someone sits back and lets others write stories about their own creations. Often a creator becomes so entwined and synonymous with their creations that when in the hands of other writers, the character often seems to lose that which makes it unique. I found this to be the case with some of the most recent issues of CONAN not written by writer Kurt Busiek. I know Busiek didn’t create CONAN, but he’s adapted some of the best Conan stories I’ve ever read about the character, so when he left, even though it was the same character, something was off. Something was missing.
I feared this upon reading THE GOON NOIR, a compilation of short stories featuring the Goon by other writers. This book serves to prove me wrong about the diminishing quality of characters passed on from their creators to other writers and seals the deal that the Goon himself has become an icon; one of those creations that writers get and understand and can make interesting. It helps that all you have to do is be a bit insane to write a good Goon story, and Powell has gathered quite an asylum full of talent for this book.
The first story is written by one of my faves, Patton Oswalt. I recently saw Patton’s stand-up when he was through Chicago for the Comedians of Comedy tour and just about shat puppies upon witnessing it. Patton’s humor shines in this short about Frankie’s relationship with the Goon and how he deals with another who vies to be the Goon’s best buddy. In true Goon fashion, Frankie deals with this threat and it was one of the biggest laughs in the book. Drawn by the legendary Mike Ploog in full-on ABAZADAD style, this is the best of the best in this compilation.
Story two features familiar art by Eric Powell, though done in a sketchy rushed style that I got used to as the panels passed. It’s part one of a mini feature running through this three issue miniseries and features the group of street kids from the regular Goon series. It looks to be a lot of fun, utilizing the blend of gross-out humor and shock value storytelling that made the last tale starring The Little Unholy Bastards such a memorable read.
Bill Morrison supplies both words and art for “Hey Goon, Comics!” which serves to piss off the Goon as he realizes his likeness is being used in a comic book. It’s a fun little short. And Steve Niles finishes off the book with amazing black and white art by Ryan Sook. And boy-o-boy, what a finish. Any story with the Goon using a gigantic pig as a weapon is okay in my book.
THE GOON NOIR seals it. The Goon is an official icon at this point. One of those characters that any writer can get right. He’s a character that’s recognizable and easy to write as long as you have the right sense of humor. Powell and THE GOON have taken a bit of heat about a recently pulled issue entitled Satan’s Sodomy Baby. Personally, nothing really offends me. I understand that humor is exactly that and should not be taken so seriously. Seems some bible-thumpers took offense to this book without even reading it and had it recalled before it was released. I’m sure someday Satan’s Sodomy Baby will poke its horny fontanelle-laden noggin out of the dark, hairy crevasse of oblivion for all of us to see. Until then, we’ve got some great stories from some great talent that have yet to fail to entertain in the regular GOON series and this GOON NOIR mini.

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN # 100

Written by: Brian Michael Bendis Pencilled by: Mark Bagley Published by: Marvel Comics Reviewed by: superhero

Ahhhhh, Bendis, you crazy bastard…I love you. You take chances. You do stuff that other comic writers only dream of doing. Like who would have thought to revive a much reviled storyline such as the Clone Saga? Better yet what writer in their right mind would have even wanted to tread those waters? Hell, if anyone had said to me a year ago that Marvel would be whipping out that horrid mess of comic book history again in any manner I would have thought they were absolutely bat shit crazy! But see, Bendis, I’ve been paying attention and you, sir, are crazy. Crazy like a fox.
When the original Clone Saga reared its ugly head I wasn’t really reading the Spider-books. I had pretty much given up on the web head by the time McFarlane had taken up the writing chores on the book. So when Ben Riley made his mark on the Marvel Universe I didn’t pay much attention to what was going on. Oh, I’d pick up an issue or two here and there but every time I did I’d realize that what I was looking at was complete crap and I’d have the urge to burn the comic in infamy. At the time it seemed like I wasn’t alone. Fandom in general was fighting its own civil war as to whether the storyline was any good or not. Either way it was that run in the Spidey titles that was one of the big things that made me turn away from mainstream comics and actively seek out the indie books. So for that reason I’m eternally grateful to the Clone Saga. The Clone Saga and Chris Claremont. Both of ‘em sent me screaming to the hills of indie-land searching for comic book enlightenment.
So, again, when word came down that Bendis was going to write his version of the Clone Saga I found myself reading the news with a grin from ear to ear. See, despite my hatred for all things ILLUMINATI and CIVIL WAR I think Bendis is a really, really solid writer. Not only that but I think ULTIMATE SPIDEY is one of the best books on the stands. So if someone was going to tackle this whale I figured Bendis was the man to do it.
With issue one hundred the storyline comes to a head and some really gripping revelations are brought to the forefront. Mainly the reason as to why Peter Parker’s father is still amongst the land of the living. The thing that’s great here is that while tons of questions are answered there’s still a whole chunk of stuff that has hardly been explored at all and much like Ben Parker’s favorite nephew I found myself gritting my teeth with frustration as I read the whole issue. But I was frustrated in a good way. Bendis and Bagley are in the midst of some fantastic storytelling here that just has me dying to see how in the hell they’re going to pull this whole thing off satisfactorily. While I have been disappointed with several of Bendis’s storyline resolutions in POWERS he’s held up pretty well in the pages of this book so I’m hoping it all leads to a satisfying conclusion here. In any case when you have Aunt May suffering from a heart attack and Ultimate Carnage smashing out of the house to do battle with a whole S.H.I.E.L.D. battalion at the end of the this issue…well, I’m all in for next one.
My big problem with this issue though is only that it consisted of a lot of filler. If I’m paying four bucks for a comic book I want my money’s worth and I sure as hell didn’t get it here. While it was nice to see some of Bagley’s pencil work, did Marvel really need to stuff a full quarter of the book with a recap of the entire ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN run? I mean this is issue one hundred in the middle of an ongoing arc. Is this the right time for what is pretty much the equivalent of a television clip show? Just save me some money and print the actual story! Don’t try to foist a higher price tag on a comic by cramming it with stuff no one wants. Want to make sure the 100th issue is special? Well, guess what Marvel? You didn’t have to. The story was great as it was and that would have been special enough. But instead Marvel editorial decides they need to squeeze more money out of fans so we get more pages that no one wanted. Good going, Marvel. Way to leave a bad taste in this fan’s mouth. Luckily Bendis and Bagley delivered a great story so I didn’t end up feeling completely ripped off.

BATMAN #657

Writer: Grant Morrison Artist: Andy Kubert (pencils), Jesse Delperdang (inks) Publisher: DC Comics Reviewer: Baytor

We're three issues into Morrison's run and I really want to like this book. I really, really do, and it comes so very close, so often that it's beyond frustrating.
The first issue started off a bit too close to the grim 'n' gritty crap that it was supposedly getting away from, but it had enough clever moments that I forgave it. The second issue was pure pop brilliance and I loved every panel of it. Now, the third issue finds me back where I started, with an issue that has a couple of brilliant moments, but the over-all tone of it just feels like more of the same ol' same ol' that had me fleeing this title years back.
The big problem is I don't like Batman's punk kid. He's not entertaining, he's not interesting, he's not sympathetic, he's not cool, he's just nails on a chalk board annoying, and makes Batman & Crew look like rank amateurs in the book's attempt to make him appear clever.
We start off with the child being led into the Batcave blindfolded. Why the blindfold? Near as I can figure, it's just Morrison playing up the Batman lore, but it just doesn't make much sense here. I'm sure his mother told him who his father really was, and since he was also upstairs in the mansion, I doubt it would be too much trouble to figure out who it belonged to.
By page 4, it should be obvious to Batman that the kid is a self-centered little psychopath (and he only gets worse from there), yet Batman practically gives the kid the run of the place, only locking up his sword and engaging a voice-activated lock somewhere or other that was supposedly keeping him in. Why the voice-activated lock? Who knows, since the kid had a room upstairs where only a window stood between him and freedom.
Of course, the kid gets out and causes a spot of trouble, using his League Of Assassins training to fight crime like his Daddy, to predictably bloody results. This is also the coolest part of the book, as we are shown an undercover operation into a novelty crime act. The villain in question is called The Spook, who's not much of a villain, but we get to spend a bit of time with a couple of his henchmen, dressed up in your traditional white bed sheet with two eye holes ghost costumes. For anyone who ever wondered about the sort of people who would dress up in funny costumes and hench for The Penguin or The Joker, this is a delightfully silly look into their world, and it's even played semi-seriously.
But the joy doesn't last long, as Batboy, The Boy Jackass, beats Batman to the punch and we cut back to the Batcave for a tedious fight between Batboy and Robin.
Okay, there's one really cool bit in the fight and that's where we learn that the giant dinosaur in the Batcave has an animatronic mouth, creating a deadly trap for people who decide the top of its head is a good place for a fight. Why would Batman have something like this around? Who knows, but it's funny and it gave me my second moment of joy in this comic.
As far as Andy Kubert's artwork, I really do wish the title had an artist with a wonkier style. A good part of why I keep processing this book as more of the same grim 'n' gritty Batcrap is Kubert's art. Don't get me wrong, he's a brilliant artist and I like his work, but it immediately puts me in the wrong frame of mind for the random odd bits from Morrison. With a different artist, the story wouldn't suck any less, but I might be able to maintain a pleasant enough attitude through the tedious shouty bits. As is, I keep forgetting this book isn't over-wrought and melodramatic, because Kubert's art comes across too seriously and the full suckness of the story is plain to see.
If this was anyone other than Morrison, I doubt I'd be back for a fourth issue. But even after thoroughly despising the vast majority of this issue, I find myself chuckling at the memory of the clever bits and even looking forward to what he'll come up with next month.

Dammit, this shit got away from me. For the last few months, there’s been a quiet buzz rhubarbing around the Talkbacks about IDW’s adaptation of Clive Barker’s novel, THE GREAT AND SECRET SHOW. This buzzing was so persistent that I decided to browse through one (I believe it was issue 3) on the rack. Then and there I was hooked and planned to do a catch-up on the miniseries. But this and that happened. Actually, more this than that, but that’s an entirely separate tale all together and long-story-short, it wasn’t until the sixth issue and midway point in this miniseries was released last week that I decided to chain myself to the computer and write out a review to catch you all up on this marvelous miniseries in something we like to call Comics Catch-up!

THE GREAT AND SECRET SHOW #1-6

Adapted by Chris Ryall from a novel by Clive Barker Art by Gabriel Rodriguez Published by IDW Publishing Reviewed by Ambush Bug

Like many of you, the first time I heard the name Clive Barker it was accompanied by the words, “I have seen the new face of horror…and its name is Clive Barker.” With those words, I was hooked. Since then I have read many of Barker’s books, seen most of his films, and viewed quite a bit of his artwork. The man is a true visionary. Looking at his artwork and reading his stories takes you on a journey where dreams and nightmares are made real. His is the type of artwork that inspires me and I’ve written quite a few stories of my own keeping Barker’s imagery in mind.
THE GREAT AND SECRET SHOW is a novel that I haven’t read and when I heard it was being adapted into a comic book miniseries, I immediately became excited that Barker’s imaginings were coming to the medium I loved. In the past, Barker’s adaptations have been a hodge podge of success and failures. I remember with ill ease the Barkerverse for Marvel, a company that was too lame to take the risks Barker takes. It was a mismatch from the beginning. I remember more fondly the TAPPING THE VEIN graphic novels which were much better suited at telling Barker’s tales. Barker tells stories like an artist, not a writer, painting a picture of what’s going on rather than telling it. His works are filled with sensations rather than descriptions, feelings rather than discourses. Is it any wonder why his works have been the focus of a visual medium such as comics?
So I went into this miniseries without any prior knowledge of the book. I had avoided any writings on the book because one day, I wanted a chance to sit down and read it. When the comic came along and the buzz in the TBs started, I knew that this was the right time to dive into this story.
THE GREAT AND SECRET SHOW deals with many themes that those who have read with Clive Barker’s stories will find quite familiar. It’s an age-old battle between light and darkness with two warring factions and the oblivious and innocent earth caught in between. It’s a personal tale of obsession and greed, love and lust, revenge and redemption--but enough with the three dollar dramatics. Plain and simple: it’s a damn good story.
Writer Chris Ryall is stuck with the monumental task of adapting Barker’s massive novel and he does a pretty decent job of chopping the book up into 22 page segments. Actually, he goes a great job of sectioning this story up into equal installments that never seem to act as filler or stretch to single issue length. Each issue seems to advance the plot at a decent pace and seems to have much more going on in the 22 pages than a regular comic. There is a great span of time that passes throughout this story, an entire history that adds depth to the main conflict at hand.
Issue one is a dark one, depicting the man who will come to be known as The Jaff and his obsession with a state of mind beyond reality. His search leads him to another man named Fletcher, who himself seeks answers to life’s unanswerable questions. Together these two travel to the edge of reality breaking through to another realm called Quiddity, but The Jaff is a twisted man. Fletcher realizes this and refuses to help The Jaff in his quest. The two become mortal enemies, fighting it out for the sake of reality over the quiet California town of Palomo Grove. It is a mystical battle fueled by hatred, greed, and a quest for power. Themselves equally matched and exhausted, the two fall into a deep pit, their battle seemingly over. So much happens in this issue. It’s a great intro to the major players in this story and the power that this story revolves around. While vague, the intensity of this power is evident on every page and as the story goes on, the dangers and thrills intensify.
Issue two leaps forward quite a few years. A group of young girls are compelled to go swimming in a lake formed over the pit where The Jaff and Fletcher were buried. While swimming, an invasive force assaults the girls. Each girl is affected differently from that seemingly innocent swim, but none of them leave unscathed. This issue illustrates with brutal strokes the seduction and destruction of youth as these girls are unwillingly drawn into the battle between The Jaff and Fletcher. It was with this issue that I knew that this was a very sophisticated story, one that spans decades. It’s one of those grand epics and not just a simple story. The story layers start to pile up as this series goes on.
By the third issue, we’re planted firmly into the present. The lake over the pit that held The Jaff and Fletcher has been filled, but when the offspring of the Jaff and Fletcher (born from two of the surviving girls who were assaulted in the last issue) meet for the first time, a crack in the earth is opened. Comedian Buddy Vance just happens to be jogging near the site of the lake/pit/landfill/crack in the earth, falls in, and inadvertently awakens the warring Fletcher and The Jaff. The meeting of their offspring awakens The Jaff and Fletcher and rekindles their age-old war. With so much back-story given such attention to in the previous issues, the dangers in the present day story really are very effective. A lesser writer would gloss over the back-story and focus on the present, but that’d be a mistake with this story since it is such a compelling factor. It’s evident that writer Ryall knows this.
By issue four, more characters are put into play. Nathan Grillo is a reporter investigating the famous comedian Buddy Vance’s death. His path is taking him closer to the battle between The Jaff and Fletcher. Meanwhile, introduced last issue, Jo-Beth and Tommy-Ray are the children of The Jaff. Jo-Beth’s meeting with Howie, Fletcher’s son, triggered The Jaff’s resurrection and the two offspring share an attraction towards one another. Now freed from the pit, The Jaff seeks out his offspring and wishes to use them in his battle with Fletcher. Both sides meet their offspring this issue, but the children are not quick to continue their father’s battles. By issue five, The Jaff shows us how powerful he really is as he harnesses the nightmares of others and makes them a part of his army of monstrous creatures. Artist Gabriel Rodriguez has a lot of fun coming up with creatures with mismatched parts of various animals and insects.
Issue six marks the halfway point of the series. All of our players are in place. The reporter is there trying to solve the mystery of the dead comedian. The Jaff has drafted his son Tommy-Ray but has had less success in recruiting his daughter Jo-Beth who has fallen for Fletcher’s son Howie. What I love about this story and a lot of Barker’s work is something I like to call “a layering of evil.” Barker seems to like to do this a lot. I’ve noticed it in his works such as HELLRAISER and NIGHTBREED where there is a mystical evil at play and a more human evil afoot as well. It’s one of those signature techniques I find appealing in all of Barker’s works. In this story, there are some truly despicable characters human and inhuman. Just when you think someone is evil, something comes along and proves that they can be more so.
We’re at the halfway point, and I really have no idea how it’s all going to pan out. Word has it that writer Chris Ryall is staying pretty close to the source material and artist Gabriel Robins not only makes his characters look creepy, but has illustrated some truly innovative imagery to make these mystical characters look like nothing I’ve seen in comics before. His depiction of The Jaff as a frail man surrounded by insectoid creatures and haloed by another face is a truly frightening image indeed.
I’m glad I didn’t jump onto this title too late. If you’ve missed the first half of this series, bother your retailer to try to track them down or get off your lazy @$$es and flip through some back bins. This multi-layered and richly textured story will surely leave you satisfied and longing for the next issue as much as The Jaff is for another trip to Quiddity. Or wait for the trade. Either way, you don’t want to miss this miniseries, it’s one of the best IDW has published to date.

SCATTERBRAIN #4

Writer: Brendan Deneen Artist: Szymon Kudranski Publisher: Markosia

Reviewer: Prof. Challenger One of the best Indie surprises of 2006 wraps up its first 4-issue mini-series this week.
Writer Deneen nicely wraps up this story about the mysterious super-hero Scatterbrain (killed in the first issue, yet mysteriously returned by the second), the villainous Shroud, and intrepid (and messed up) police detective Jack Anderfold. When these characters were introduced in the first issue, I wondered a bit where they were going to go over the course of this story. In true noir style, every character dwells more on the dark side of their character than the readers may always be comfortable with. But there was that spark of heroism in Anderfold that made the reader root for him.
The entire series has surprised me with each issue paced so that a new shock or revelation would leave me hanging until the next issue came out. And this final issue is no exception as the various character arcs (Anderfold, his wife, his son, the Shroud, and Scatterbrain) all intersect to a satisfying and logical resolution. This final issue answers all the questions as to who Scatterbrain really is, how he came to be, and what the connection is between him and Anderfold.
I've said it before in my comments about the other issues in this series but the real strength for me as a reader has been the depth of characterization in the writing. Devil's Hopyard is a gritty setting and the characters are all hard-boiled and gritty themselves - true products of their environment. But I've been fascinated to see how they've developed and surprised me over four issues. This issue spends a bit less time developing the characters because the drive is on to finish the story. As a result, it moves at a faster pace than the previous issues, once again dramatically illustrated by the expressionist artwork of Kudranski.
For the fourth time, I'm going to highly recommend you search this gem out. If you haven't picked up the earlier issues, get the back issues and read the whole story. Deneen's SCATTERBRAIN is complete in this story, but the genesis of Scatterbrain has left open a smartly obvious scenario to continue telling new SCATTERBRAIN stories perpetually. Here's hoping sales warrant a second go around. Hats off to this creative team.

SE7EN: GLUTTONY #1 Zenescope Entertainment

We interviewed writer Raven Gregory about this one a few weeks ago and it turns out to be a winner of a book. If you’re like me and love the movie SE7EN, you’re going to have to pick this one up. This issue reads more like a deleted scene from the movie than a comic itself. It’s the murder of the Gluttony victim told from the victim’s perspective while shedding just a sliver of light into the mind of the killer John Doe. The book doesn’t go overboard and reveal he was an abused child or a jilted lover, so don’t worry about demystifying the character of the killer. Within the parameters of the SE7EN story, writer Raven Gregory does a pretty great job of adding some spills and chills that were not expected. The book was illustrated by Tony Castillo and although his art is a bit cartoony for such dark material, the production of this book gives off the same sickly pallor as the dull tones of the film did. Photoshopped to make it look as if these pages were ripped from John Doe’s journals of madness, this is a book that looks good, delivers the goods, and has me looking forward to future installments elaborating on the other 6 deadly sins. - Ambush Bug

ZOMBIES: FEAST #4 IDW Publishing

We’re coming to a close with this one and it turns out ZOMBIE: FEAST is what it is. A group of inmates and their guards crash their transport vehicle outside of a rural town. After walking to a close-by farmhouse, the group finds out that the dead are rising. The story isn’t complex, the characters aren’t particularly well rounded, and the dialog’s a bit stiff. But I can’t help but like this fun little zombie tale that, yes, should have probably been an issue or two shorter, but never tries to be any deeper than what it is. It’s straight-for-the-jugular action B-movie stuff. Nothing fancy. Just Zombies vs. inmates. And for its simplicity I have to recommend it. This miniseries also sports some of the most beautifully rendered zombie crowd scene wrap-around covers I have ever seen by the talented Chris Bolton. - Ambush Bug

RUNNING ON EMPTY VOL. 1 ponbiki.respark.net

I had the privilege of talking with RUNNING ON EMPTY creator Alberto Rios and the rest of the chaps at ELEMENT X STUDIOS when I was at this year’s Wizard World Chicago Con. RUNNING ON EMPTY VOL. 1 is a silent comic about a guy who was launched to the moon by the government but was never meant to survive. So the government is trying to take care of their mistake by trying to kill him. Turns out our cute little astronaut is tougher than he looks and isn’t going out so easily. This is an inventive yarn and a delight to read. It’s tough writing a silent comic and relying solely on the image to tell a story. Rios handled this hurdle pretty well in this story, only stumbling later in the series when some of the action is a bit hard to follow. But that didn’t stop me from enjoying this one. Rios’ style is along the lines of Frank Miller and Geoff Darrow’s THE BIG GUY AND RUSTY ROBOT. Rios is not afraid to use symbolism and dreamy atmosphere to make his action scenes more visceral and he’s got a great sense of pacing, evident in the opening scenes as the astronaut discovers that the package sent by the government that he thought was food turns out to be something far more deadly. Order this one from the artist’s website. I have a feeling that Alberto Rios is a name that we’ll all soon know. - Ambush Bug

MOTHER HYDRA’S MYTHOS RHYMES Dagon Industries

With a snake-like tongue firmly planted in its mystical cheek this book has a lot of fun with Lovecraftian mythology. If you liked BOOM’s recently released CTHULHU TALES or any of Lovecraft’s classic stories of horror, this is a must buy. Sure, some of the stuff is a bit forced and hokey like the entry If You’re a Cultist and You Know It, Clap Your Hands set to If You’re Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands, but I giggled a few times at the warped renditions of D-A-G-O-N set to B-I-N-G-O, Where Oh Where Has My Shoggoth Gone?, and a truly entertaining version of City At the Bottom of the Sea set to Hole At the Bottom of the Sea. The best part was the Edward Gorey-ish section entitled My First Mythos Alphabet which rhymes its way through the alphabet using Lovecraft-isms throughout. This is a slickly produced little book of sickness. - Ambush Bug

Remember, if you have an Indie book you’d like one of the @$$holes to take a look at, click on your favorite reviewer’s link and drop us an email.


BLUE BEETLE #7 DC Comics

I was a little unsure of the last issue of the initial storyline, but this issue sucked me right back in. We find out the scarab isn’t magical at all, it’s alien tech, and the aliens in question aren’t the biggest fan of the Green Lanterns (Qwardians, maybe?). It also turns out there’s a reason he doesn’t know what the hell is going on with the suit half the time—he didn’t get the data upload he was supposed to, it somehow ended up in Peacemaker’s head, which seems like it might not be the best thing ever. We also find out what happened when Jaime went to help the JLA take out Brother Eye, including Jaime putting Batman in his place without even realizing it to hilarious effect. Rogers does a great job of dropping in snarky humor to balance out some of the heavier emotional stuff, and there’s definitely some of that here. I also love Hamner’s art—energy blasts out of heroes’ arms get awfully dull after several decades, but the way the suit ripples and undulates first is pretty sweet. This is a strong issue that wraps up a dangling plot thread or two and sets up the next couple of storylines. I was wavering a bit, but I’m definitely right back on board. - Sleazy G

SHE-HULK #12 Marvel Comics

Starfox goes on trial, Shulkie finds out the truth behind her and John Jameson's relationship, Awesome Andy deals with heartbreak, and we get a startling new insight into the origins of none other than the Mad Titan, Thanos. Yea, this was a pretty busy issue, but a great example of why this is one of my favorite Marvel titles. One reason this book works so well is the plethora of cool secondary characters like the aforementioned Awesome Android, She-Hulk's would be lover Pug, and then occasional guest spots like in this issue with Thanos, Pip the Troll, Moondragon and so on. Combine those with events that actually evolve and have relevance in the "life" of our heroine, it just makes for good comic book writing. And I really like Rick Burchett's art on this book. I think it fits the title perfectly. Yep yep... - Humphrey

THE TRIALS OF SHAZAM! #2 DC Comics

Leery, but interested. Suspicious thrice-fold by both writer Judd Winick (who’s writing is hit and miss with me—BATMAN and GREEN ARROW hit!—GREEN LANTERN and OUTSIDERS miss!), this new age of magic hooey that totally fizzled out my interest levels in SHADOWPACT, and a pure and utter hatred for that waste of a character Freddie Freeman AKA Captain Marvel Jr., I’m hesitant to get into another magic book. But after being mildly amused by issue one of this series and somewhat intrigued by the presence of a test set up for the new Shazam to prove himself by winning each letter of his famous name, I am kind of getting into this series. That’s right, you read it. It’s SHAZAM, not Captain Marvel anymore. Just one of the big changes that is going on with the Marvel Family. Don’t know if I like it or not, but Winick is keeping things moving fast so far and Howard Porter remains bizarrely interesting to look at with his new clean painterly style. I’m tip-toeing and unsure with this one, but entertained nonetheless. - Bug

INVINCIBLE #35 Image Comics

A little bit of a downbeat "talky-talk" issue here, but like every issue of INVINCIBLE, there's a lot meat in all the word balloonage. In this issue Cecil sends over a learning instructor to help with the development of Mark's new-found half-brother (who also gets a name here too). Robot, in his brand spanking new human body, reveals himself to his Global Guardians teammates with some interesting revelations on top of that. And our resident teenage hero has a bit of a man-to-man conversation with Art the Tailor about his relationship with his girlfriend Amber and a bit of a conflict about his feelings towards his superhero ally Atom Eve. Oh, and there's more on top of all of that, but I'm running out of space here. So I'll just wrap it up and say this: this issue actually ran a bit on the boring side, but I'll be damned if a lot of stuff still didn't go down. That Kirkman really knows how to push his storylines; this one just could have used a little bit more of the old ultra-violence. Cheers... - Humphrey

HAWKGIRL #56 DC Comics

Other than the dull and confusing storyline, the clunky dialogue and the mediocre, poorly colored art, this issue pretty much sucked. Argue all you want about the legendary status of Simonson and Chaykin, but this is nowhere near their finest work. If it just read like something they would have written 20 years ago it might still get a pass, but it doesn’t: it reads like mediocre work from creators past their prime.
This went from a title I loved under Johns to a title I liked under Gray and Palmiotti to a title I can't even laugh at any more, it's so horrible. I'm less than 10 bucks away from dropping the book entirely and the creative team can't change fast enough. Not even my love of female bodybuilders in gold bikinis was enough to make this storyline worth reading. For the luvva pete, DC--sometimes you just gotta know when to let the old creators go, and this would be one of those times. Quick. Before you're letting the series go instead. - Sleazy G

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #535 Marvel Comics

Wow, a tie-in with CIVIL WAR that I actually liked. Say what you will about the editorial decisions to unmask Spider-Man and make Tony Stark into a douche and Reed Richards into a Nazi war scientist, but JMS works with the material he has and makes it into a compelling read. He even addresses some of those loose ends that Millar left dangling in CIVIL WAR proper. The entire issue builds to the final splash page. I don't like how all of the players got to the place they are right now, but it's one doozy of a build-up and you better bet I'll be there for the next issue. - Bug

JACK OF FABLES #3 DC Vertigo

I was worried there might not be enough material to fill both FABLES and this spin-off title, or that it wouldn't maintain the same level of quality. Having Matthew Sturges as a co writer seems to take some of the load off Willingham, though, and so far it’s been pretty entertaining. There are some familiar faces, like the previously-thought-dead Goldilocks, as well as lots of Fables we haven’t seen before, both from the Old World and from here in America (and man, remind me never to get between Paul Bunyan and his drink at the bar). The first storyline is moving at a rapid clip, with lots of ideas crammed in. I just hope they don’t burn through them too quickly, but Willingham’s initial concept is strong enough to give them plenty of room to work. Definitely off to a promising start. - Sleazy G

CAPTAIN AMERICA #22 Marvel Comics

Best read of the week from Marvel and another fine CIVIL WAR tie-in proving that you can sometimes polish a turd of a story with the right amount of polish and when the right writer is doing it. This issue has some great twists and turns and some nice downtime between Agent 13 and her on-again/off-again lover Captain America. Can I say that I love it that Bru makes sure Cap gets some from time to time? OK, I just did. I know many will disagree, but I prefer Brubaker's CAPTAIN AMERICA to his DAREDEVIL run. Bru's sophisticated storytelling and ability to incorporate some of Cap's more fantastic elements into a grounded story without making it all seem silly makes his run on this series top tits. Add an ending reveal that made me smile so big that I could taste my ears and you've got yourself a winner of an issue, soldier. - Bug
Readers Talkback
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  • Oct. 4, 2006, 3:55 p.m. CST

    comics

    by dead youngling

    yeah

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 3:56 p.m. CST

    The Nightly News

    by vivavitalogy

    I can't wait for it any longer!

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 3:53 p.m. CST

    FIR... aw, crap

    by CCRmy of One

    What I don't understand is why do I have to wait THREE months between each Ultimate issue? Heck, DC can produce a "52" every week, I can't get Ultimates on time? And I'm still holding my breath for Ultimate Hulk Vs Wolverine zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 3:56 p.m. CST

    First?

    by Mr. Anderson

    If not, oh well. Last week sure was a good one for Ultimate Marvel Zombies like myself. Hell, I'm even loving the hell out of Civil War, and it seems to me that the people who can't stop bitching about that UBER EVENT need to remove the sticks from their asses. But ULTIMATES 2 is Marvel's actual big event title this year, they just don't seem to realize it.

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 4:03 p.m. CST

    Never been this high up before

    by LawyersGunsandFunny

    Neat.

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 4:19 p.m. CST

    What the fuck?

    by gavdiggity

    No mention of the new Dr. Strange series? @ssholes...

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 4:32 p.m. CST

    Mother Hydra's Mythos Rhymes cover image is COCKBLOCKED

    by Squashua

    I guess that site doesn't allow direct linking. I've e-mailed the site's admin to let him know that he shouldn't be such a hardass.

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 5:03 p.m. CST

    Wait a minute...!

    by superhero

    You’re the one who read the whole Clone Saga and loved it and I’m the asshat??? Wow, put yer Spider-blinders back on ‘cause that thing suuuuckkked webfluid!

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 5:04 p.m. CST

    Man, I gotta go to the comic book store.

    by rev_skarekroe

    I haven't been in like, a month and I'm not qualified to post about a damn thing in this week's column.

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 5:06 p.m. CST

    Gosh, what a bunch of grouches...

    by loodabagel

    <p>Just about one good thing was said, total. Just lighten up once the all of us cogs get here, else you're in for a world of hurt.</p> <p>Like I said I last week, that was a good issue of Spiderman. It got downright spooky towards the end. Also amazing is that there at this moment, a total of three Spidey Civil War Tie-ins and I am enjoying them all. How crazy is that?</p> <p>In fact, despite what that nifty page header says, Spiderman is kicking all kinds of ass right now. Ultimate's doing the goddamn Clone Saga and kicking ass at it and Spiderman Loves Mary Jane is at the single best issue I've seen since issue 4 or 5.

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 5:05 p.m. CST

    RezE11even

    by Bootskin

    BWAHAHAHAAAHAHHAHA!!!! Clone >tears< Saga....AMAZING..>tears<...BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHA! >wipes tears from eyes< >sigh<...thanks man, I needed that. >ahem<

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 5:08 p.m. CST

    wow...

    by Bootskin

    where'd the rest of my post go? oh well. You are correct RezE11even. Clone saga was AMAZING, as was Most of Rob Liefeld's run, and the first 4 issues of Youngblood,Cyberforce,and Super-pro! (Football super-hero, YES!) of course, you know, I am making fun of you.

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 5:48 p.m. CST

    Finally, some love for Captain America!

    by GiggityGoo

    Brubaker has had to deal with two crappy crossovers so far in his tenure on the book, "House Of M" and now "Civil War". And both times, he's written great stories that stood out with awesome characterization. Cap is the only book I still read (apart from Planetary trades), and it hasn't been this good in ages. Make Mine Marvel!

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 5:55 p.m. CST

    Thanks, Bug!

    by ryall

    That was a great review of our Great and Secret Show, both in terms of sheer length and the great things you said about the book and the work Gabriel and I are doing on it. I have to say, adapting that amazingly dense, detailed and lengthy novel into comic book form--even over 12 issues--has been maybe the greatest writing challenge I've ever had, but I've been helped a lot by Gabe's stunning art and Clive's freedom in taking his book and making it into something a bit different. Hopefully it gets people to pick up the original novel and see how the two compare (hint: the book's better). And for anyone who might wanna check it out and can't find the early issues (1 and 2 are sold out), I'd be remiss if I didn't plug the TPB (Volume 1) coming on October 25, complete with a new intro from Clive. Anyway, thanks. And to you, too, Psynapse. Happy it's working for you, too.

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 6:11 p.m. CST

    need brief Civil War explanation...

    by Calico Pete

    ...for the following: why on earth did Spidey need to unmask publicly? Is this ever explained? Why can't heroes just register w/the govt and keep their identities hidden from the public at large? I mean, if CIA agents and undercover cops are allowed to keep their identities private (note: private is not the same as secret) why are superheroes forced to unmask publicly? Or was it just Spidey that "had" to do this?

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 6:18 p.m. CST

    And another thing...

    by Calico Pete

    Am I the only one who thinks superheroes referring to themselves as such are arrogant? This is rampant throughout Civil War. "Bbbbut... we're SUPERHEROES!" says someone or other. Oh yeah? Get over yourself bub. You're superpowered, but it's not up to you to call yourself a hero. Arrogant. Egomaniacal. Self-promoting. That's what Civil War has turned every hero into. Just as ridiculous, self-acknowledging villains. I can understand using the word "criminal", but "villain"? Doesn't that mean you have to think of yourself as... sheesh, it's so ridiculous I can't even go through the thought exercise here. Am I alone on this?

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 6:35 p.m. CST

    havent read the comic

    by Darth Kal-El

    but like psynapse i loved the novel! im wating for trade(no offnse to chris) and im glad to hear there is a volume forthcoming.hey how about doing a q and a for us? if your interested the cogs(sort of a talkback sub-group in case your not familiar)would love to pick your brain!

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 6:36 p.m. CST

    The Great And Secret Show

    by Lovecraftfan

    Maybe I'll give it another try, but the first time I tried to read it I could not get into it at all.

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 7:04 p.m. CST

    Ultimates 2 vs. Civil War

    by keepcoolbutcare

    superhero on Millar... "Sure, there’s some neat stuff in here like the Hulk mutilating and punching an opponent’s head off..." That was all Hitch, or at least an Ellis swipe. They have Hawksmoor throwing the same punch and getting the same result in an early Authority issue. it's kinda fun to notice the dovetail between Civil War #4 and The Ultimates(Vol. 2) #12. in one, Thor is a cloned psychopath who kills for the man. the other, he's(finally?) proven to be all he said he was, Son of Odin, a pacifist with a big scary hammer, a Socialist who rages against the military industrial complex, "here he comes to hammerslap" his evil half brother. in one, Cappy gets the shit slapped out of him by a pampered punk. the other, he's a non-witty-remark havin' savior of the U.S. in one, longstanding characters unexpectedly defy years (and years) of backstory and characterization, all for nonsensical ultraviolence to keep the masses entertained. the other, a now long-running, stunning re-imagining of the original Averngers, is nothing but the good 'ol ultraviolence that feels earned due to all the attention paid to backstory and character development in previous installments.

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 7:28 p.m. CST

    Agreed on those Civil War tie-in's.

    by dregmobile

    Loving ASM. Good review on JLA #2. It's good, fun even ... but feel it can be better. I must be patient. <br> <br>So when the Blue Beetle trade hits, will it be worth getting? Coz I like the character and I like the art ... but I was too afraid to part with my Australian dollars after the pitiful IC. <br> <br> Calico Pete, interesting points. I guess Parker going public was more sending a message out to other superheroes, not necessarily for them to do the same and go public, but rather to get on Iron Man's side and not Cap's. <br> <br>And my hypothethis is proving true ... the Vogs ARE from the X dimension ... fascinating ... *tweaks settings on Vog Assualt Rifle* <br>

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 7:34 p.m. CST

    awesome graphic

    by Darth Kal-El

    at the top of the column guys! keep them coming

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 7:36 p.m. CST

    I hate Bendis

    by dtpena

    Ohh how I hate that guy, can't read more than 10 pages of his trying-to-be-edgy-mature-and-rebel writing. I was ready to like him, but well... I think I've read too much Vaughan-Morrison-Ellis greatness to like any other level of reading.

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 7:48 p.m. CST

    its funny how

    by Darth Kal-El

    vog is one person posting under a freshly created screen name to 'counter','oppose',i dont know what...8 different individuals who call themselves cogs.i guess like i told the rest of the crew in the mansion-imitation is the best form of flattery. dimension x or dimension whatever,im glad were keeping it interesting in here

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 9:34 p.m. CST

    I look forward to the 15 or so deleted scenes

    by dregmobile

    on that disk.

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 10:06 p.m. CST

    Hey, Darth Kal-El

    by ryall

    Sure, I'd go for any Q&A or whatever you had in mind. Drop me a line at chris@idwpublishing.com. Thanks for the nice comments, too.

  • Oct. 4, 2006, 11:48 p.m. CST

    Man...

    by El Vale

    Not even Morrison would respond to a bad review the way you did, Jar Jar...what a douche.

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 12:38 a.m. CST

    awesome chris!

    by Darth Kal-El

    ill send you an email shortly seeing if we can get something going...provided its ok with the @$$holes. in my excitement at having a 'real' industry pro in the board i completely went behind their backs and since this is their column i want to make sure no toes are being stepped on. sorry @$$es! with that said how would everyone feel about a cog hosted q and a with the very gracious mr. ryall?

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 9:31 a.m. CST

    I respect that kid from the rez...

    by loodabagel

    He's been telling everyone how great the clone saga is for a month or so and everyone just keeps pissing on him. He's a brave man and I respect him for that.

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 10:37 a.m. CST

    comic site recommendations

    by tony5000

    can anyone recommend any other good comic review sites? this one doesn't seem to speak to my interests, and i perceive there to be a built-in attitude against Marvel.

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 10:42 a.m. CST

    There's no built-in attitude, but...

    by Squashua

    You can Google for CBR or Newsarama or Wizard Entertainment.

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 11:14 a.m. CST

    I Heart She-Hulk

    by The Cabin Boy

    The Ms. Marvel cross-over is the only one I find a bit tedious. Maybe the Young Avengers/Runaways to a lesser degree... But Wolverine, Spidey, Cable & Deadpool, Captain America -- all have been great reads (something I think even a few of the @$$holes who all say they despise CW will admit???) -- and yet all anyone wants to do is complain. Sheesh.

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 11:22 a.m. CST

    built-in attitude

    by tony5000

    it may not be as vast as i perceive it, but, for instance, it's not so great when the reviewer tells you ahead of time he is going to hate the issue of Civil War he's going to review or when someone like Ambush Bug reviews a book written by Bendis (hasn't happened for awhile) and you know he's going to have the same complaints. i'm not trying to say they are wrong for having their opinions, but after reading this site for 2 years it seems that more times than not i can see a predictable pattern.

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 12:42 p.m. CST

    re: Built-in attitude?

    by The Heathen

    It's not as vast as you perceive it really. Honest. Take Bug's Cheap Shots for Amazing Spidey and Captain America. He liked those. Shit, Bendis has even gotten I believe around 4 or 5 GOOD reviews in a row. What about the ass kickery of Astonishing X-Men or Runaways? Name an @$$hole who doesn't like Dan Slott? There's plenty of good stuff from everywhere, but there's also some bad, bad, very bad tripe that they try to FORCE FEED us *cough* Civil War *cough*

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 12:46 p.m. CST

    @$$holes, cogs and talkbackers, help a brotha out!

    by nofate

    Being a new parent and going into our 2nd year of marriage, I hardly have time to read comics as much as I used to, or like to. I still buy my regular stack, 5 or 6 per week, but what I've been doing is waiting for the current arc to end and read it in one sitting when I can, then repeat for the next story. Lately though, with so many sites now doing reviews and spoilers, when I get around to reading the actual comic, it kinda loses the impact and I'm seriously considering dropping my hobby /addiction altogether. I know is my own damn fault and I should just stay away from the spoilers, but damn it, any geek worth their long box cannot wait 4 or 6 months to know what happenned. So, what should I do fellow talkbackers? My kid's savings are at stake here!

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 1:45 p.m. CST

    congrats on the kid nofate

    by Darth Kal-El

    the idea of wating to read things all in one sitting is a good one but i see your dilemma. what i was doing myself is reading the monthly when it came out and then picking up the trade for the arc to re-read it. but since money is an issue that might not be as viable an option. i dont know man u have me stumped. i dont have a kid or a wife but im still pretty busy so i try to do my geek shit in between whatever else im doing. i.e.- i work in a call center so i read comics and post on the board in between my calls.i dont know where u work but reading during your lunch is one idea

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 1:42 p.m. CST

    nofate

    by Shigeru

    Blow all the money on crack. Or wait... wait for the trades! And buy more indie books.

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 1:55 p.m. CST

    my friends' just had a kid

    by Shigeru

    and on our congrats bouquet I wanted to write "CONGRATS ON FUCKING" but the wife wouldn't let me...... :(

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 2:33 p.m. CST

    nofate

    by The Heathen

    Trade waiting might be better for you financially. Amazon is usually cheaper too. Instead of paying $3 an issue, $18-$20 for an arc, you could by the same thing anywhere from $10-$15 in trade form. I know it's hard to do that sometimes, but it is what it is. And if you can't bite the bullet and not do that, then try to cut down on you books you get in single issues. Try for quality ones that are slow like AXM, All Star Supes, Ultimates, Shaolin Cowboy, etc. What else? try this site for advanced orders: <br> <br> http://www.g-mart.com/ <br> <br> I get a lot of books from there. A $3 issue is usually around $2.25 if you order it in advance. Hope that helps and, er, congrats on fucking?

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 2:34 p.m. CST

    theres no way

    by Darth Kal-El

    the tb can be this silent the day after the Lost premiere!*****Spoilers***** cmon guys the others 'real' houses?! the hydra?!! what was the stephen king book being read and does it tie in? how do they know all about jack? wtf is going on? my penis was both frustrated and impressed!

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 2:38 p.m. CST

    i didnt want to say it

    by Darth Kal-El

    with people from the industry obviously on the board but the downloading option is also a good one. heres what i suggest as the trade off for the dling-get the single issues through the dl so u can be up to date and then pay back by gettting the trade.

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 3:23 p.m. CST

    "my penis was both frustrated and impressed!"

    by The Heathen

    yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 4:27 p.m. CST

    Damn, I didn't know ya all cared!

    by nofate

    Thanx for all the advise and smart ass remarks (thanx Psynapse I might just consider it. lol) But again the Heathen strikes gold again. I've been mulling that option for a while so it looks like the way to go. Who says nothing good comes out of the talkbacks other than geeks banding together to gang up on someone. Oh, wait...;^)

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 4:33 p.m. CST

    of course we care

    by Darth Kal-El

    weve had words in the past but we dont hold grudges(at least i dont but its mostly because im busy holding my giant wang) :-) anyways man yeah the heathen is the shiznit and i second the amazon suggestion.and hey we banded together originally to PREVENT the ganging up and other negative bullshit that is the usual for these boards but now its all about the breads baybee!

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 4:35 p.m. CST

    Re: Lost

    by nofate

    I know this is the comics talkback but Darth started it. I fucking love that show! I even got my wife hooked on it. Last nite she got mad cuz the baby wouldn't go to sleep so she ended up bringing him down to watch it with us. It is so well executed and engaging it keeps bringing you back. No other show has ever made me look up song lyrics to see what it might have to do with the plot. Screw the nay sayers, this is the best show on TV right now.

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 4:47 p.m. CST

    of course i started it

    by Darth Kal-El

    its not just comics in this here talkback nofate. its about anything an everything that we enjoy and we try to keep it going all week,in fact we have been since last year. thats why its so important to keep the trolls and such out of here. yeah man lost rules but it also sucks how it keeps giving us little tidbits but not the full reveal we all want! what do u think the stephen king book means? which book is it? any thoughts

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 5:03 p.m. CST

    Tales of the Zombie!

    by captaincosmos

    Buzz, thanks so much for this review! As a child of the 70's I have a special place in my heart for the mag-size black & whites. I had several issues of books like The Punisher, Master of Kung-Fu, and yes...Tales of the Zombie. One of the cool things about this format (co-published by Warren press, I believe) was that at the larger trim size, they were exempt from the restrictions of the comic book code. But at the same time, they didn't have labels of "Suggested for Mature Readers" on them, so a 12 year old kid like myself could pick them up at the local drugstore, and neither the kindly shopkeeper nor my Mom had any clue about the level of violence and lasciviousness that I was hungerly consuming. Check em out, these things were so lurid and violent! I still remember picking up issue 7 of TOTZ during a train ride from Maine to Boston with my Mom, and reading that thing cover to cover on the trip. Over the next few years, I read it over and over until the cover fell off. Eventually, it was lost, but never forgotten. Almost every page in that book was burned into my brain. So much so that when I went looking for it at Comic Con a few years ago, I recognized it in the racks immediately upon coming across it. And from seeing the first panel again, it was as if I'd only read it yesterday. The old stories by guys like Doug Moench (sp?) and art by Pablo Marcos and others is so over the top and thick with atmosphere...it's like watching a great old 40's horror flick. And point well taken about the difference between Simon Garth and the current trend in Zombies--Garth being a product of voodooism, a slave and a loner, forever seeking peace. I guess that's why, in spite of being a horror movie buff, I've never really jumped on the zombie bandwagon--I like my zombies in the swamp, alone, and wreaking unholy vengeance against those who may have wronged them in life. Whoa...sorry for the trip down memory lane, but to anyone who's never really heard of this title, get the Essential book! And unlike a lot of the other titles in this line that were originally published in color, you're getting to see them as they originally appeared! I checked out the Essential TOTZ last week and they've put in everything but the original ads! Great job, Marvel!

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 5:19 p.m. CST

    If By Built In Attitude Against Marvel, You Mean...

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...that I said they were the greatest thing since keg beer for publishing ESSENTIAL TALES O' THE ZOMBIE VOL. 1 (thanks, Captain Cosmos!), then color us guilty! I think we have a built in attitude against crappy comics and dumb decisions and companies placing ego over story and character, but one stupid publishing house is about the same as another...NoFate, no question that having kids does and should change your life. Most people shouldn't do it, but in my opinion, I don't think a person is truly an adult until they're a parent. Now, as far as reading, I wasn't into comics much at the time, but I read every one of the James Bond novels by Iam Fleming, and everything about Sherlock Holmes while pushing Buzz Jr. around the block in his stroller. The kid never slept...may have been the black coffee in the bottle, you think? Also, I remember one time he was sick and would only sleep if I held him, so I read the entire novel THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE in one sitting.

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 5:24 p.m. CST

    Now you see why I got this name!

    by simongarth2001

    Cool character. Gotta love dem zombies.

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 5:59 p.m. CST

    Hey Hey Hey!

    by nofate

    I even got a sympathetic ear from Buzz. Thanx for that. Manchurian Candidate on one sitting? You are a freak good sir. And come on Darth, what fun would it be to know the whole Lost tapestry instead of waiting for it to unfold? That's what makes the show worth watching, for me at least, wait to see what happens next. As far as King's book, I don't know which one it was either. I heard it might've been The Stand, due to the similarities of the story, but the book they were holding was too thin. I think it was Carrie, as Juliet's attitude so far kinda matches. Quiet girl that will go off on you when you push too hard.

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 6:03 p.m. CST

    i hear u nofate

    by Darth Kal-El

    but man i am an impatient bastard when it comes to some things! heathen kept telling me to play through halo 1 and 2(i only play multiplayer) and instead of working my way through the story i wikied the ending. thats my problem with lost-so many new things get added to the question pile every episode that it drives me crazy waiting for the next one. yeah too thin for the stand but i think what the man said has to do with the overall story. something about religious something? dont quite remember. anyways wasnt that shot of******spoilers******* the plane slpitting in the aid just bad ass!!??

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 6:06 p.m. CST

    HA HA! PEGGED!

    by Drcool975

    That tony5000 dude fucking owns you clowns. Marvel bias, indeed.

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 6:23 p.m. CST

    Owns? For stating the obvious?

    by nofate

    You're lost Drcool(worst talkback name I've come across). If you'd frequented this site at all you know the @$$holes review what they want and talk shit on what other reviewers praise. I've come to accept that, being a Marvel zombie and all, but still love to argue with them. Try IGN, they have such a crush on all things Marvel even I feel embarrassed after reading their reviews.

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 6:37 p.m. CST

    i just went back and reread tony5000 posts

    by Darth Kal-El

    and he didnt seem to come in here trying to 'own' anybody. i guess Dr.lame just needed an excuse to say something stupid. i percieve a built in attitide towards normal conversation dr.lame.

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 6:50 p.m. CST

    LOST stuff, so… *SPOILERS*

    by The Heathen

    When the plane split apart in mid air like that, it was just so freakin awesome, but then I couldn't even digest it before Henry, Ben, whatever his name is, is yelling orders to go do this and that and, and for what?!?!?! Ahh!!! And what the friggin frak are they doing with them? And I want to know just a smidge of what happened after the season 2 finale with the big white whatever thing and Desmond, Locke, Ecko, and, and… I'm addicted to this show damn it. <br> <br> "Try IGN, they have such a crush on all things Marvel even I feel embarrassed after reading their reviews." That was funny, nofate. It's like when some people would defend Firefly or Buffy TOO much, even though I loved them so. Oh, and Drcool knows, he's just one of those lonely trolls the poor thing.

  • Oct. 5, 2006, 6:56 p.m. CST

    Detective 824

    by dregmobile

    This easily restored any flaws the last issue had. I loved the low-key nature of this story, about Penguin going legit to piss off Batman, and then ***SPOILER*** Batman helping him out in the end. I'm kinda glad I've gone with this and not the Morrison run, if I hear great things about that run I'll grab the trade, but I don't have the dollars to get both. Anyway, the art wasn't as striking as it's been in other issues, yet was perfect for this tale. Having Lois drop by was a nice touch, and getting Zatanna to turn in a favour via some detective work made this an engaging read. Since the issue has no page numbers, page 28 (if you count the ads pages) is the single best page I've scanned in a while (scan because there is not much to read there). It is comic book storytelling at its finest. And the cover ... wow. ***** The latest Fantastic 4 was a bit of a letdown. Not much story was advanced here, merely a required domestic between Reed and Sue. The art was a bit flat, and it kind of pissed me off we once again crossed paths with events in the last Spider-man issue. It's bad enough I got to grab all these Civil War tie-ins (minus Ms. Marvel and X-Factor, they look boring), but it adds insult to financial injury to re-read the same scene (it's happened twice now) over two separate titles. I'm talking five pages of dialgue here. Anyway, maybe what pissed me off was Reed ending the issue singing some song I wonder if I've ever heard. ***** And Mystery In Space continues to kick ass. A great second issue. Getting more into the detective noir style with Comet searching for his previous body. I found it amusing that the largely discussed Tyrone was page one, this time not overdone, it seemed. Just started The Weird which is looking amusing. MiS is a great mini. Buy it. Or the trade. Another cool cover, too.

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 12:46 a.m. CST

    Wondering where all the love...

    by Baytor

    for Batman #657 supposedly is. Silver Bullet Comics has two reviews of it up, one is fairly lukewarm saying "it's nowhere near as impressive as it should be given the creative team involved" while the other negative one (released today) hammers a lot of the same points I made. Thought maybe it was me just being a grumpy old man (despite being a Morrison fan for 15 years), but I'm just not seeing the love anywhere.

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 8:36 a.m. CST

    Haven't I read this before?

    by Mister Mediocre

    “ESSENTIAL TALES OF THE ZOMBIE VOL. 1 is the greatest thing Marvel has ever published.” Buzz Maverick, didn’t you say the same thing about the Essential Marvel Team-Up book you reviewed two weeks ago? You’re just joking the joke. Brother Voodoo is cool though.

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 8:53 a.m. CST

    Does anyone else ever get the desire...

    by rev_skarekroe

    To buy one of those big crayon boxes and a Marvel Essentials volume and just go to town?

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 9:37 a.m. CST

    Actually, you know what?

    by rev_skarekroe

    Me and the old lady arent' planning on having kids anytime soon, but if we do, I'm totally getting them Marvel Essentials volumes to color. I'm completely serious.

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 9:44 a.m. CST

    What's going on with Runaways?

    by loodabagel

    Xavin's dead in Young Avenges/Runaways, and Chase uh..ran away in the regular title. What the hell's going on? They need a goddamn timeline in those comic books...

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 10:12 a.m. CST

    Eh, he's a skrull...

    by loodabagel

    So he's probably alive anyway. Damn, sorry. It's not a great comic, if that's any consolation.

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 10:19 a.m. CST

    Prismacolor is the shit son.

    by The Heathen

    Really, they are. I love those things. Good memories. <br> <br> rev, that's a good idea, not enough to make me want kids, but whenever I get to be an Uncle, it's Marvel Essentials to color! <br> <br> The timeline for both of the big two is pretty despicable right now. I mean, it's been that way in Marvel, but DC let go recently too. No biggy, just go with it. I figured I'd say that while I was calm. And I wouldn't worry about the CW YA/R mini. I doubt anybody would die in that and remember, "dead is dead" okay? Pfff… <br> <br> I have love for Batman. #657 included. Call me crazy, but I'm liking it and I think it will be rewarding in the long run too. I gotta go with Dreg about the new Detective though, man is it good. I loved it. Thank you Dini. But I'd still pick up Batman before Mystery in Space though.

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 12:38 p.m. CST

    No, I Said TEAM UP Is The Most Important...

    by Buzz Maverik

    Zombie is the greatest. There's a distinct difference. Everyone is starring in their own movie, and in mine, without MTU, I wouldn't have become a compulsive comic reader. ZOMBIE is the greatest because it's kind of a crazy move. I know they have a new ZOMBIE book to market, which is bold enough in itself (although what with WALKING DEAD and others, it's good to see that the comic book industry is still pleasantly, old fashionably derivative, cannibalistic and trendy -- "If they have zombie comics that sell, we'll do zombie comics!"). ESSENTIAL ZOMBIE was a very different kind of ESSENTIAL, even for the ones that reprint the black and whites because of the prose pieces, the promo pages, the photos. As a Marvel Vampire (Marvel still owns my soul but a vampire is capable of independent thought whereas zombies just roam the Earth mindlessly, so I'm one notch up on the undead food chain, I greatly prefer the ESSENTIALS to DC SHOWCASES, but I think with ETOTZ, the editors may have been influenced by some of the things included in such volumes as DC SHOWCASE HOUSE O' MYSTERY. What's great about ETOTZ is that they really made it like the magazines, which were far ahead of their times, some even ahead of our time, and much too cool for kids like me.

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 2:16 p.m. CST

    Batman #657

    by El Vale

    Book is just not doing it for me. Some very cool little moments here and there, but the main focus is on that STUPID INSUFFERABLE FUCKING KID and i can't stand the fucking storyline. Ill concieved. More later!

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 2:50 p.m. CST

    Mixed Metaphor

    by Mister Mediocre

    Burn in infamy? Hilarious! Live in infamy. Burn in effigy. Thank you r-tard teachers of the public school system that screwed Superhero and us all.

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 3:20 p.m. CST

    A retraction...

    by Mister Mediocre

    My mistake, Buzz Maverick. Thank you for setting the record straight. I would argue that FF is the greatest comic Marvel ever published. It even said so on the cover. I’m not sure what it says now. In Batman 657 I wanted more of Robin vs. the Bat Bastard. Next issue it looks like Batman and the kid will square off. I know it’s Batman’s book but too bad Robin isn’t going to give this kid a mouth full of Jostens.

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 4:15 p.m. CST

    Hey Darth! Book confirmed!

    by nofate

    Don't know if you'll still read this, or if you already know, but I just saw at EW's site that the Stephen King book on the Others book club was indeed Carrie. Now is this a hint of someone's hidden powers (Walt?) or of an impending blood bath ("the next two weeks are going to be very unpleasant"). Fucking-a, can't wait for next week!

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 4:52 p.m. CST

    re: Batman #657

    by The Heathen

    Well, well then. Vale you should just read my review for Batman #657 over here: http://tinyurl.com/ksz8l <br> <br> I think you may even have some reviews there too. Who'da thunk it? ; )

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 5:23 p.m. CST

    Wait...What'd I miss?

    by GreatA'Tuin

    Huh?

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 5:32 p.m. CST

    nofate

    by Darth Kal-El

    cool thanks for letting me know. im kinda disapointed that it is indeed carrie. when they were talking in the book club about it having religious undertones i was thinking it might be the stand which is a personal favorite of mine or the dark tower which used to be my ultimate favorite but took a dip in the polls after the rushed and disapointing last arc(5-7). wow carrie huh? lots to think about.and dude im here all week

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 5:45 p.m. CST

    i read it

    by Darth Kal-El

    but its been a while.i might go back and re read it tho. does it apply to the world of LOST?

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 6:15 p.m. CST

    Heath

    by El Vale

    I read it, of course i read it! And we agree to disagree.

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 6:23 p.m. CST

    Essentials TOTZ

    by Avengerdude

    This is the first of the Essentials books I've picked up. Used to love the Marvel B&W magazines. They were very hard to find in the UK ( this was the days before specialist comic shops). Only one market stall used to get these and finding one was an event. Lets see Satana and Morbius soon.

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 6:26 p.m. CST

    I think...

    by The Heathen

    I love you all. Have a godd Friday night folks! : )

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 6:29 p.m. CST

    good, gorram it, GOOD Friday...

    by The Heathen

    well, not THE good Friday, but you know, go see Departed or something, or go here ** http://tinyurl.com/ksz8l **

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 6:36 p.m. CST

    good friday indeed!

    by Darth Kal-El

    i got paid today and i only have one more week left in this place and then im on vaycay for a week! and then the new job...anyways psy i really dont remember enough about it. i dont remember how she died altho the menstruation scene is a stand out in my mind. i never saw the movie tho.did they do that in the film?

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 6:38 p.m. CST

    AvengerDude, Satana Is Coming Up In A Couple Of Weeks..

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...along with her brother The Son O' Satan in ESSENTIAL MARVEL HORROR VOL. 1. I agree about ESSENTIAL MORBIUS. We'll be seeing ESSENTIAL MAN-THING (insert your own penis joke) in the next month or so.

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 6:46 p.m. CST

    ive seen

    by Darth Kal-El

    only about 3 minutes of the whole movie so ill take yourr word for it. actually no i wont. now i do want to go out and rent it. its a depalma film right?

  • Oct. 6, 2006, 8:37 p.m. CST

    keepcoolbutcare

    by Homer Sexual

    You hit it on the head. I love Ultimates and the general Ultimates line, and not like Civil War crossoever so much (dropped after first issue). Very well said. Carrie the movie much much better, subtler yet more intense, than book. Credit King's concept but movie way better.

  • Oct. 7, 2006, 12:39 a.m. CST

    I think

    by Baytor

    It says more about the character Juliet considering the journey that Carrie took in the book. Then again, who really knows what all those Dharma fucks are up to. :þ

  • Oct. 7, 2006, 4:19 a.m. CST

    whoah

    by Darth Kal-El

    i may be mistaken but this might be the first time an @$$hole has joined the LOST talk. but then agin baytor likes ennis so he was already cool in my book. in other news-did u guys get to check out the new COG REVIEW PAGE over on the MySpizzle?thoughts?comments?accolades?

  • Oct. 7, 2006, 6:24 a.m. CST

    I was just ripping on

    by Baytor

    Psynapse's multiple postings :) Love LOST, but I prefer not to think about it too much... can't help think they're totally making it up as they go along if I think about it too hard.

  • Oct. 7, 2006, 2:38 p.m. CST

    Baytor

    by El Vale

    Do not ignore the Darth Kal EL's questions!

  • Oct. 7, 2006, 2:39 p.m. CST

    Oh and one more thing

    by El Vale

    I finally know what your nickname means. I AM BAYTOR!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Oct. 7, 2006, 5:12 p.m. CST

    go to our myspace page

    by Shigeru

    and worship us, slaves!!!!!! ***** ********* ************ in other news, Hi.

  • Oct. 9, 2006, 12:31 a.m. CST

    What was the question?

    by Baytor

    I've been skimming, so didn't quite catch whatever it is that I was supposed to catch.

  • Oct. 9, 2006, 9:34 a.m. CST

    Anybody notice

    by Shigeru

    the repeated panels in Detective Comics? Laaaaaaaazy. **** Damn you, Monday...

  • Oct. 9, 2006, 9:38 a.m. CST

    Hey Darth...

    by loodabagel

    Want me to e-mail you my old Batman and Runaways reviews? Also, why don't you add that Teen Titans one I already gave you to the page. In related news, that website freaking rocks!

  • Oct. 9, 2006, 11:59 a.m. CST

    Shig..

    by Thalya

    Kramer did that in his art for 'Tec a couple of issues ago too. But other than that, I think he should be the permanent artist with Dini. I find his art just enjoyable, and a slight bit on the cheeky side because his Bruce Wayne looks a lot like John Wayne. That, and I think he draws a real swell Riddler.

  • Oct. 9, 2006, 12:28 p.m. CST

    meh

    by Shigeru

    You'd prefer him over JH W III? Crazy talk. I thought he was solid but is Lois Lane really a gigantic-breasted slut? Oh and I noticed whole pages without backgrounds. And that repeated art really bugs me. But um other than that I actually thought it was a great looking book.

  • Oct. 9, 2006, 12:46 p.m. CST

    Detective #824 and The Departed

    by The Heathen

    I'll go and look at it again, but I was too caught up with the story to notice if there were any blank backgrounds are repeated ones. I honestly really dug it. Way better than Morrison's run so far and I LIKE Morrison's run mind you. <br> <br> The Departed is brilliant btw. I hate you if you haven't seen it, especially if you saw that turd movie with the ovrecooked Dane Cook and the hollow Jessica Simpson or that stupid Chainsaw prequel that Harry giggled about. The Departed son.

  • Oct. 9, 2006, 12:50 p.m. CST

    I know it's been said, but…

    by The Heathen

    LUCAS: "We don't want to make movies. We're about to get into television. As far as Lucasfilm is concerned, we've moved away from the feature film thing because it's too expensive and it's too risky. I think the secret to the future is quantity," Lucas said." <br> <br> Nah, it's quality, not quantity George. Any fuckin person knows that. Christ you've let me down.

  • Oct. 9, 2006, 1:02 p.m. CST

    Oh, and, btw..

    by Thalya

    MYSTERY IN FRICKIN SPACE!!! STARLIN GOODNESS!!! WHO READ???

  • Oct. 9, 2006, 1:31 p.m. CST

    Got it, haven't read it yet.

    by The Heathen

    I was being surprised by the past two issues of CW: Frontline. Roy Allan Martinez and plenty of Ben Urich goodness. Urich is echoing what all of us are, which is basically Jenkins writing him that way. Oh, and I kinda like Speedball.

  • Oct. 9, 2006, 1:33 p.m. CST

    sshhhh!!!!

    by Thalya

    Don't let Quesada hear you!!!

  • Oct. 9, 2006, 2:03 p.m. CST

    Don't worry…

    by The Heathen

    his head is way too far up his ass to hear anytihng that one of the 'couple of hundred' comic fans would have to say. Still, I have plenty, well, mainly nothing but gripe for Civil War, but I liked these past two Frontline issues because it seems that they're about how fucked up the whole thing is and it's not right. Go Jenkins.

  • Oct. 9, 2006, 2:59 p.m. CST

    Heathen

    by Shigeru

    I like Detec' too. It's rad. I was just sayin'. ***** I haven't seen the departed yet, but you haven't seen tom yum goong yet so shut it. ***** How bout them Gators huh?

  • Oct. 9, 2006, 3:23 p.m. CST

    hells yeah, Shig…

    by The Heathen

    The Gators kicked ass. Don't mess with Totem. That jump pass of his and the saftey we got were awesome. Best game this season. <br> <br> It's cool abot Detec'. I'm actually curious to check it out agian and look at the panels more closely. <br> <br> Dude, I think that Tom Yum Goong was only here a week. Fuggin A. I need some Tony Jaa in my life. But yeah, The Departed owns all sorts of ass. It's worth the hype. My brother almost called someone an 'Irish prick faggot' last night (he loved that line) so, uh, he dug it too. To be fair, the guy was Irish, tiny and a prick AND hitting on our Mother - long story. I'll save you from it. Anyways, The Departed is awesome. Best thing I've seen all year and I've seen Thank You For Smoking, The Descent and Monster House. <br> <br> I'm going to retire for the day gents and lady. Until tomorrow.

  • Oct. 9, 2006, 5:44 p.m. CST

    rogue mondays

    by Darth Kal-El

    we are so busy that i havent been able to get in at all today! saw the departed.awesome! more later!

  • Oct. 9, 2006, 10:31 p.m. CST

    Departed better than Monster House???

    by dregmobile

    Holy shit!!! Hahah. Sorry. It doesn't open in Sydney for another two days, but I have seen Infernal Affairs and have read Monahan's script. Can't wait. It's #161 at imdb!!! ***** Mystery In Space rules my limited finances. And is Tom Yum Goong 'The Protector'? I aim to see that ... I liked Ong Bak. ***** Identity Crisis and Blacksad Vol. 1 arrived from Amazon yesterday, and the latter looks fantastic. ... almost finished the first Fables trade atm ...

  • Oct. 10, 2006, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Departed kicked all kinds of ass...

    by loodabagel

    I went with a few pals. One of which actually wanted to go to that anal-rape fest with Dane Overcooked and Jessica Skankson with his pseudo-girlfriend, but I convinced both of them to watch people get their brains blown out instead. Awsome!

  • Oct. 10, 2006, 10:49 a.m. CST

    Psy-fi!

    by Thalya

    Psy-fi! *huggles*

  • Oct. 10, 2006, 12:05 p.m. CST

    The Protector = Tom Yum Goong

    by Shigeru

    And it's called something even weirder in the UK... It should be called 'tony jaa vs your nutsack'. The winner is obvious.

  • Oct. 10, 2006, 12:38 p.m. CST

    *hee, hee*

    by The Heathen

    "The winner is obvious."

  • Oct. 10, 2006, 12:58 p.m. CST

    My eyes!

    by Thalya

    All right, who exposed himself?

  • Oct. 10, 2006, 12:59 p.m. CST

    Furthermore..

    by Thalya

    Was that winner or weiner?

  • Oct. 10, 2006, 1:33 p.m. CST

    hey guys

    by Darth Kal-El

    sorry ive been out of the boards. it has been super busy here at work. hows everyone doing? anyone else think the departed kicked much ass?

  • Oct. 10, 2006, 1:42 p.m. CST

    oh man and how about Heroes?

    by Darth Kal-El

    thats my new favorite show right now. the thing with the cheerleader-motherfucking WOW!! and did u guys notice this ep was written by jeph loeb? im hooked on this cant wait for dvd to marathon it and im so curious for some commentary tracks.

  • Oct. 10, 2006, 2:40 p.m. CST

    Heroes is quite good.

    by The Heathen

    I haven't watched the third ep yet, but am tonight. I like it a lot. I loved Veronica Mars last week too. And last night, the wife said, "you know what show I miss?" <br> <br> Me, "Blade." <br> <br> Her, "Yeah."

  • Oct. 10, 2006, 3:40 p.m. CST

    i noticed the thing with hiro too*Spoilers*

    by Darth Kal-El

    and that was probably the only unsatisfying thing for me yesterday. other than that i was pretty impressed. im still waiting for the villian to reveal some sort of powers or something.in the previews and the recap at the begining they continue to refer to the man in glasses as 'ultimate evil'. i wonder if its of the human variety or if hes a special too.

  • Oct. 10, 2006, 4:24 p.m. CST

    Hello my sweet and happy bitches....

    by GreatA'Tuin

    I love me. I kick four kinds of ass, and innumerable types of buttock of any discription. I just thought you all would like to know this. Oh, right, I forgot to tell you all why I rock. I just got a regulation size pool table for $850. Maybe you should all just give me my winnings over Paypal now. It'll give me more time to write awesomeness over at the CogSpace.

  • Oct. 10, 2006, 5:40 p.m. CST

    Perfectly random enough.

    by The Heathen

    ; )

  • Oct. 10, 2006, 5:42 p.m. CST

    lets see yours then vog

    by Darth Kal-El

    seriously.its easy to say 'meh' but lets see you go out and put something even close to what we did online.and if u really dont like it why are u sending me reviews to post on our page?

  • Oct. 11, 2006, 12:02 a.m. CST

    Micromax was always supposed to lame

    by mortsleam

    Other than that I got nuthin'. But insomnia.

  • Oct. 11, 2006, 9:29 a.m. CST

    The gig is up!

    by loodabagel

    Looks like the vogs secret identity has been discovered. Let me just say that he was only using me as a host body and I had no control over my actions when he was in my brain. Luckily, I was able to siphon him out using my Grant Morrison brand brain filterer. I wasn't able to destroy him seeing how he was made out of anti-matter and I didn't have my Reed Richards Destructo-Ray, but he has been banished back to Dimension X.

  • Oct. 11, 2006, 9:49 a.m. CST

    dimension x

    by Shigeru

    isn't that where Krang lives? that wacky living brain dude. "sHrEDDeRRRR!"

  • Oct. 11, 2006, 10:26 a.m. CST

    That's old school Shig… Krang.

    by The Heathen

    Thanks for reading mortsleam.

  • Oct. 11, 2006, 1:15 p.m. CST

    that is old school

    by Darth Kal-El

    i used to have that turtle blimp when i was but a lad.and seriously they need to bring back the old turtle game on xbox live aracade.

  • Oct. 11, 2006, 2:23 p.m. CST

    i wasnt going to

    by Darth Kal-El

    but ive been checking out the heroes comic on nbc.com and its actually pretty cool. it gives u a tiny glimpse of some back story on these characters which is always nice. the art so far has also been quite good since its actually by some industry pros. i especially like the michael turner art of the recap page. i know hes not a fan fave around these parts but i like him.

  • Oct. 11, 2006, 2:44 p.m. CST

    Turtles

    by Shigeru

    Did I ever tell you cogs about the time I met Peter Laird? Nice guy. **** The first TMNT game: THAT DAMN DAM LEVEL (heh)! Where you had to swim around and difuse the underwater bombs... such a pain in the ass. Great game, tho.

  • Oct. 11, 2006, 2:46 p.m. CST

    you might have shig

    by Darth Kal-El

    did u tell him you were nat portman's boyfriend and your friend's friend screwed xzibit's sister?cuz i read an issue of turtles like that

  • Oct. 11, 2006, 2:53 p.m. CST

    Haha Mr. Spock!

    by Shigeru

    I can't stand Turner for the most part...always seemed like a 90's artist. **** Natalie Portman was the one who introduced me to Peter Laird! Actually I met Joe Kubert that day too and I was pretty nervous for that too.

  • Oct. 11, 2006, 3:05 p.m. CST

    i agree with psy

    by Darth Kal-El

    matt wagner is WAY cool. i was a total nervous girl the first time i met him at last year's comin con. this year i handled myself a bit better i think but only because i did some breathing before approaching him

  • Oct. 11, 2006, 4:37 p.m. CST

    I've 'seen' more than 'met' I suppose…

    by The Heathen

    First off? Mark Hamill wearing a brown freakin Jedi robe!!! Well, that's what it looked like to a kid who was 10. Actually, he was wearing a brown robe, but it was for SeaQuest when he guess starred. But to me I thought he was Jedi Master Skywalker. <br> <br> And to stay with the SeaQuest theme, I saw Jonathan Brandis (R.I.P. - My cousin wanted to name a band "The Ghost of Jonathan Brandis", err…) and he was walking to his car (one of those 'new' Mustangs in the early 90's) and he threw his key's in the air, caught them, combed his hair back with his hand and peeled out of the parking lot. I kid you not. <br> <br> And on a completely (?) unrelated note, my friend from high school has more free time than us it seems and made a website called ** www.sweatbandman.com ** where he has some retarded, bandwidth wasting videos, but the clencher is that he has an interview with Ben Harper… who just happend to be wearing a fuggin sweat band. Go figure. <br> <br> How about those mashed potatoes? <br> <br> Michael Turner had some good covers on Identity Crisis, but his interior work isn't polished enough. His colorist helps his work as good as it does. I liked the Hiro comic on the website the best. Hiro is my favorite character from Heroes. <br> <br> Beef curtains anyone?

  • Oct. 11, 2006, 5 p.m. CST

    There is seriously...

    by dregmobile

    a character called Hiro on Heroes? Somehow this show isn't looking all that hot all of a sudden ...

  • Oct. 11, 2006, 5:19 p.m. CST

    Yeah, but…

    by The Heathen

    he's Japanese. He's Super-Hiro. Har, har, har. Seriously though, don't judge a show or anything for that matter on it's name… unless it's something like, "Uwe Boll Presents…"

  • Oct. 11, 2006, 5:40 p.m. CST

    dreg

    by Darth Kal-El

    yes there is a hiro but like heath ponted out hes japanese. i swear dude the show is awesome! dont let that or the girl in the cheerleader outfit steer u wrong!

  • Oct. 11, 2006, 5:51 p.m. CST

    i dont have a favorite yet

    by Darth Kal-El

    i think if i had to pick it would be a tie between peter and the cop(not sure his name)alhto i also like mohinder. man thats a sweet show. at con i saw a lot of people-henry rollins,jon favreu, john cassaday,joss whedon but i only met a few-altho that few was cool.i met wagner again, david prowse,temura something(the guy that played jango fett)tycho and gabe from penny arcade to name a few. its always cool meeting someone whose work youve followed and who may have had a big impact in your life like was the case for me with mattt wagner. hopefully someday you can all come out and meet all the cogs at some show in the future-that is if the zombie apocalypse doesnt come first

  • Oct. 11, 2006, 6 p.m. CST

    I'm pretty sure the Zombie Apocalypse will come first…

    by The Heathen

    Damn zombies. Speaking of, GRINDHOUSE owns my ass like beef curtain ssagging Grandmothers for breakfast. 300 is dope too, btw. Can anyone find the actual trailer for Grindhouse on YouTube? All I get is a bunch of home made shit, to which I've only watched 4 hours of. What have I learned? Kids like shooting guns with blanks.

  • Oct. 11, 2006, 6:14 p.m. CST

    A tale of morality

    by Darth Kal-El

    My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless. One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, we are very happy that you have passed our little test.....we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family." And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car......

  • Oct. 11, 2006, 6:16 p.m. CST

    the above post

    by Darth Kal-El

    did not happen to me-i just cut and pasted the email that was sent to me

  • Oct. 12, 2006, 12:39 a.m. CST

    Haha. That's great.

    by dregmobile

    And I know Hiro is a Japanese name ... just strikes me as a little too tongue in cheek for my liking. But who am I kidding? When Season Uno hits DVD rental shelves, I'll be checking it out for sure. Loved UNBREAKABLE (though can never really swallow Smallville). They canned Aquaman, didn't they?

  • Oct. 12, 2006, 9:23 a.m. CST

    last

    by loodabagel

    <b>I</b> I am last.

  • Oct. 12, 2006, 1:30 p.m. CST

    no one can outLast a cog

    by Darth Kal-El

    we kicked that motherfucking bunny's ass!

  • Oct. 12, 2006, 5:08 p.m. CST

    last

    by loodabagel

    last last last

  • Oct. 14, 2006, 2:12 a.m. CST

    stal

    by dregmobile

    last

  • Oct. 16, 2006, 10:17 a.m. CST

    You cannot defeat me with spellspeak...

    by loodabagel

    I am after all, the one and only Last-Man.

  • Oct. 23, 2006, 7:49 p.m. CST

    damn typo. i meant:

    by dregmobile

    tsal!

  • Oct. 24, 2006, 12:51 a.m. CST

    what i meant was

    by dregmobile

    tsal!

  • Oct. 24, 2006, 9:45 a.m. CST

    Last-Man 3: This Time it's Personal...

    by loodabagel

    Coming soon to a theater near you.

  • Nov. 2, 2006, 7 p.m. CST

    Last: 4

    by dregmobile

    This time we really mean it.

  • Nov. 8, 2006, 1:15 a.m. CST

    ah...last...

    by blackthought

    good to be back in my chair.

  • Nov. 9, 2006, 9:51 a.m. CST

    Last Man 4

    by loodabagel

    The Revenge of Dregmobile

  • Nov. 11, 2006, 11:03 p.m. CST

    ...

    by blackthought

    ...

  • Nov. 21, 2006, 10:01 a.m. CST

    Last Man 5...

    by loodabagel

    The Attack of Blackthought's ...'s

  • Dec. 1, 2006, 4:28 p.m. CST

    Is that some sort of superhero?

    by Squashua

    Lastman? The last man?